


Amor Vicit Omnia [ARC 4]

by veriante



Series: Amor Vicit Omnia [4]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Rewrite, Rewrite of the Entire MCU, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2020-12-14 07:21:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 208,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21011939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veriante/pseuds/veriante
Summary: Continuation of the Amor Vicit Omnia Project - a slow realistic rewrite of the entire MCU. This Arc contains re-write of Iron Man 3 and parts of Thor: Dark World.~~~Excerpt:"I require not your love nor affection or Anthony's. I do not desire to enter your bed nor Anthony's. All I desire is but for an opportunity to atone for my sins. All I ask is that you allow me to remain close so that I may be your shield and your sword." Loki's voice is soft and gentle but there is a plea hidden underneath his voice."I will not allow myself to harm you again, Stephen. As I have sworn, I will not touch you again without permission. I will nary lay a finger upon your skin without your consent. I will repeat this oath to you as many times as you require." Clea feels her eyes widen as the implications hit her.~~~After the New York Invasion, the world moves on. The heroes pick themselves up and try to heal themselves and New York.The broken God of Mischief can only watch and pray as he longs for just a taste of the love that Tony and Stephen share.~~~Please note A/Ns for Trigger Warnings.





	1. Tony Fucking Stark

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back. 
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read this giant project and choosing to continue the journey with me as ARC 4 ccontinues. 
> 
> All of your loving support and kind words have kept me going and I hope that they will continue. 
> 
> As always, if you wish to discuss what is happening, have questions or suggestions for me or simply wish to get a virtual hug after I have broken your hearts with the angst, please feel free to join Fictional Wonders @ https://discord.gg/sM53acf
> 
> Betaed by the wonderful Goddess, otherwise known as Missaness. 
> 
> Thank you and I hope that you will enjoy the journey ^__^
> 
> <3  
Kira.

**Monday**

**2 May 2011 **

_ Nothing _ was going according to plan. 

Which is honestly, by now, Fury supposes, is something he should expect when Tony fucking Stark is involved in any way in  _ anything _ . 

But really? He  _ seriously _ doesn't  _ need _ this right now. 

There is enough fucking drama going on with the New York Invasion and the world waking up to the fact that there are actual fucking aliens and that they aren't little or green that  and adding a possible kidnapping by a Norse God of Tony fucking Stark is something that Fury really doesn't want to deal with. 

If Fury had his way and he didn't have to worry about funding and the political bullshit that he needs, he never would have even ordered for Loki to be arrested. 

But the world was reacting with fear and need to see  _ someone _ pay for what they believed had been injustice done to them. They needed someone to blame for the deaths and the destruction and Loki was the most obvious target for all the fear and the hate. 

The thing is, Fury and the World Council  know better. They have heard enough from Clint and from the others to know that there is a bigger and badder player out there, but they aren't  _ here _ . They aren't available to be paraded before the cameras. 

They aren't here to be prosecuted and persecuted publicly so that the world can take a breath and reassure itself on  its perceived safety so that they can go to bed with the belief that they are safe. 

The bullshit the world needs is Loki being persecuted publicly. Not the truth. That is at least, the decision the politicians of the world had decided upon. 

Fury doesn't agree. 

Complacency that will come with the belief that they had 'solved' the problem with the prosecution of Loki is going to leave them ill prepared for the future as more and more, their little blue planet is noticed and they need to be prepared goddamn it! 

Fury can't know how alien beings are going to think like and he doesn't know whether or not they are even paying attention, but the fact that the Earth has managed to fight off an alien invasion was going to mean something. 

If anyone is going to be paying attention, then as Thor has said of the weapons, they had just showed their hands and perhaps declared that they were ready to be more involved in the universe. And that? That was a dangerous thing. 

Yes, by now Fury was definitely starting to believe that Asgardians like Thor may not want the Earth's destruction, but the mere existence of them threatens humanity and their understanding of themselves. 

That is a problem that Fury isn't sure if they can  resolve with the prosecution of one Asgardian. 

Besides, how the fuck were they even supposed to arrest and hold onto a fucking god? And what were the repercussions of those actions going to be? How were the Asgardians going to react to Earth prosecuting one of their royal princes? 

It's an impossible situation. 

But of course, it's a fucking situation that Fury has been tasked to deal with and he doesn't have a great deal of time to do it either. 

Fury looks around at the ' Earth’s Mightiest Heroes'. They don't look all that mighty right now, he has to admit. They look ragged, tired and broken. 

Clint is sitting there with large bags under his eyes and there is something haunted about his eyes that worries Fury. He will need to get psych to  see him, he thinks as a note to himself. If Barton with all his training can't even hide that shit, then something was definitely broken in the man. 

Bruce Banner is curled into himself, making himself  as  small as possible, as if he wants to be anywhere but here. He isn't surprised by that either. Bruce Banner has always had issues with authority and military figures and Fury supposes that he is both of those. 

Having seen the destruction and death that the Hulk has managed to cause, Fury has to also wonder what will happen if the green beast goes out of control. Yet another fucking problem to worry about later. 

Steve looks confused, which is not that surprising. This whole thing on top of his lack of understanding of the way that the world has changed would have only added to the confusion that was no doubt overwhelming Steve. 

Yet, he was the only one that remained the most unchanged by what has taken place. Fury isn't surprised by that. Steve Rogers was steadfast. Stubborn and used to following orders. As long as Fury kept him believing that what he needed Steve to do was important to protect good ol' America, Steve will fall in line. 

Fury isn't so sure about the others. 

He hides the sigh that he wants to let out in particular when he looks at Natasha. She, perhaps out of them all is the one that has changed the most by what has been happening in the last couple of years. 

The near emotionless assassin that he has brought into SHIELD after Clint's refusal to kill her was no longer the woman that sat in the conference room. No. That Natasha Romanov had been cold and distant. Driven only by her need to wipe the red off her ledger. She'd been a walking skillset. Nothing more. 

But that's not the Natasha that sits here. No. This was a woman that knew what she wanted and who she was. And that awareness of herself and development of morals that she would rather cling to than relying on him and his morals made her dangerous. 

That too was because of Tony fucking Stark. 

He will have to deal with her later. Figure out how he was going to either bring her back in line or find a way to use the way she has changed to his benefit. She could become valuable, if he was able to read and use her right. 

"So, what the fuck happened?" Fury asks as he levels his one eye on each Avenger, making sure that they all know just how serious he is being with the question. 

The only being that truly seems relaxed is also the one that has no problems meeting his eye with no subterfuge that he can see. 

Thor. 

The God of Thunder sits comfortably in his chair as if he does not care for the consequences of his brother's actions or what Fury has to say. Considering what information he did have about the Asgardians, Fury isn't too surprised by that. 

He supposes that to a being that lives for thousands of years, a mortal being like him has nothing but a fleeting annoyance that he can't even deign to be annoyed by. That is infuriating. 

"Loki teleported away with Tony Stark." Clint says with an easy shrug of his shoulders and Fury glares at him as he fights against the urge to punch something. As it is, his voice is still harsh when he speaks. 

"How observant, Agent Barton! I can see that! I'm asking where the hell did he go and what the fuck did they talk about!" Fury all but shouts. No one in the room flinches barring Banner. 

"Well sir, you saw what happened and no doubt have received reports from the others." Is Natasha's response and though she says the word 'sir', there is no respect contained in that word and her eyes as she meets his glare with level look of her own. 

Natasha Romanov is good. Very, very fucking good and even now, though he knows that she has lost some of that faith in SHIELD and him, he can't read her well enough to know just how far that disillusionment goes and that is dangerous. But it's a problem for later. 

"Who is this 'him' that he referred to?" Fury asks and everyone looks at each other before shrugging their shoulders. 

"I have no idea Director. He never said a name." Steve says as the others nod. 

"Fine. Then where could he have gone? Barton?" Fury asks and the agent shrugs his shoulders. 

"Don't look at me. You know all the places that I was with Loki at. It might be somewhere that Stark wanted to go to or somewhere that Loki wanted to take him. But either way, at the very least, I think we can all agree that Tony Stark went with him out of his own volition." Barton says with a casual voice that seems out of place given the gravity of the situation. 

"Loki is a wanted war criminal and if Stark is harbouring him then he is complicit and is an accessory after the fact. If we don't want this blowing up in our faces any more than it already has, we need to find them!" Fury says just in case it wasn't clear to the room. 

"My brother is no criminal. He is a victim of the Sceptre and  its insidious influence just as Agent Barton was. In fact, Loki has fought against the harsh magics in his mind in order to sabotage the efforts of those that controlled him as much as he was able." Thor tells him with a grave voice that reminds Fury that he was dealing with a prince. 

A being that understood politics, diplomacy and discourse just like Fury did. But Thor is no prince here and his words mean little. Fury does finally sigh. 

"We know that. But the world needs someone to take the fall. Someone to blame and your brother was the face of the invasion." Fury says and Thor slams his hand down on the table as he stands up, his anger obvious. 

"I will not allow my brother to suffer for crimes he did not commit! He has done everything within his power to protect the people of this planet just as I have. Is this how Midgardians repay their debts to their saviours and treat victims?" Thor asks and Fury meets the angry glare of the Thunder God's stormy blue eyes with his own. 

"You brought your squabbles and your war upon our planet. You are guests here. Not our rulers. We have treated you with respect out of the hospitable nature of our species but don't you dare come to  _ our _ planet and start making demands." Fury tells him firmly. 

Thor's eyes fill with the electricity that buzzes in the air and Fury feels that fear travel through his spine and he feels the sweat break out on his upper lip, but he ignores it as he stares the god down. 

"Our wars? If you had not meddled with forces you cannot possibly understand this Realm would not have garnered the attention that it has!" Thor shouts and Fury has to fight back the urge to flinch as he knows that the god is referring to the Tesseract and SHIELD's work with it. 

Perhaps they have poked the bear. But how were they to know? It's not as if it had come with a warning label or a booklet to explain things! As Fury tries to come up with a justification, Thor continues. 

"For thousands of years, Asgard has spilled her blood to protect this planet. The peace and prosperity that you have enjoyed has been due to the sacrifices made by  _ my _ people and the benevolence of  _ my _ family. You know  _ nothing _ of this universe. You are but ungrateful children scurrying in fear." Thor retorts back. 

Fury takes a deep shuddering breath and he is about to retort when Maria Hill all but bursts into the room with a harried look on her usually impassive face. 

"Sir, we have a situation outside." She tells him and he fights the urge to sigh as the high tension in the room continues as all eyes turn to her. She doesn't seem to even notice. 

"What is it?" Fury barks out and Maria doesn't answer him. Instead, she approaches the table and pushes the buttons to activate the holographic displays and activates the screen to show the view of the front entrance to SHIELD Headquarters. 

SHIELD, for all that they did in secret, were also a public government agency. Publicly, they were known to work with both the FBI, CIA and the military on law enforcement duties. The secrecy made them suspicious to many, but they were known enough and they did have public offices. 

But this is the first time that there has been a crowd of hundreds of reporters outside of their doors and for a moment, Fury is frozen with inaction as he tries to figure out just what the hell is going on . 

"How the hell did they- What the fuck do they want?" Fury asks and Maria coughs to clear her throat as she points to the six figures dressed  in immaculate and ridiculously expensive suits standing right at the entrance, talking to his agents. 

"Well sir, it seems that Tony Stark has sent legal representatives to discuss the release of Dr Banner and Thor." Fury blinks as he hears that. Maria sounds both confused and amused and somehow impressed and he shares a few of those emotions too, but the strongest emotion he feels is confusion. 

"What do you mean release?! We aren't holding them here!" Fury all but shouts as Maria shrugs her shoulders. 

It's not like Thor and Banner had anywhere else to go right? Besides, they had to deal with the aftermath and with the media calling for blood and to find  _ someone _ to blame, Fury was merely protecting them. 

"Well sir, it seems that in the last couple of hours, the media's demand for the Avengers to reveal themselves have only risen in fervour and Tony Stark has responded through Stark Industries that he will be holding a public press conference in two days time with Prince Loki." Fury is almost gaping with his surprise. 

What the fuck?! 

When the fuck did Tony Stark have the time to do that?! Fury rubs his temple as the headache that had started to form right after he got his orders from the World Council, comes on full force. 

"He has also released a statement to the press stating that SHIELD was holding Dr Banner and Thor for questioning without legal representatives. As such, he has taken the liberty of sending his legal and PR team." Maria finishes and Fury looks at the group and at the images of the media outside. 

Clever, he thinks, almost admirably. Buy time by promising the press conference then throw the wolves at SHIELD to force his hand. If Fury doesn't let the lawyers in, then there were going to be issues of civil rights violations, in particular with Banner since he was a US citizen. 

Even in this chaos, the left wing was going to scream bloody murder. Then if he wants to hold Thor and Banner within the walls of SHIELD, it meant that  _ he _ and SHIELD would be forced to deal with the full attention of the media. 

Fucking Tony fucking Stark, Fury thinks as he glares at the media jackals outside of his door even as his phone buzzes with the message that the World Council wishes to speak to him again. 

Fuck! 

~~~ 

**Monday**

**2 May 2011 **

Shit. Shit. Mother fucking shit! 

It's one thing to  _ see _ magic. To  _ know _ that magic is a thing. To  _ feel _ it happen? That's another thing all fucking together and Tony isn't sure if he likes it. 

In fact, he's pretty sure his stomach doesn't. 

"My apologies. I am not usually so... clumsy." Is the only thing the fucking god says as he sways gently on the spot, still holding Tony in his arms as Tony tries to get the earth to stop moving. 

Which is fucking difficult when the being that's holding him is also swaying. 

Vaguely somewhere near them, Tony hears a gasp and something dropping. He wishes that he can turn to look but he really, really can't. It's taking an awful amount of focus to keep his stomach from turning over. 

"Tony?!" The familiar voice that cries out catches Tony's attention and he tries to get his eyes to focus on the bleary figure in front of him. He doesn't need to in order to know who it is. 

"H-Hey Clea." He manages weakly before the god falls to his knees. Even as he does, Tony doesn't miss the fact that Loki's hold on him never falters and never tightens so that he doesn't crush Tony in his hold. 

"Loki?" Is Clea's next surprised gasp as she takes in the situation. With them finally on the ground, Tony can actually focus enough to see that Clea has stood up quickly and that the phone and tablet that had been on her lap had fallen to the floor. 

Tony looks around and realises that he is in a familiar space. He's been here before. With that realisation, Tony is moving. He gets his wobbly knees to cooperate  somehow and he moves until he stumbles towards the bed. 

The moment that his eyes land on the bed just as his hand does on the soft bed sheets that he recognises, everything else fades. 

Stephen. 

Tony doesn't notice the roiling stomach, the dizziness, the faint gasping  breaths coming from behind him. He just sees Stephen. 

His pale, beautiful, beautiful lover, laying there, his eyes closed in a deep slumber. Tony doesn't move. He can't. He is frozen in that moment as he takes in the sight of his lover and just watch as Stephen's chest rises and falls with each breath. 

The relief is... overwhelming. 

Before he passed out, he remembers hearing from Loki that Stephen was alive. That he was okay. He remembered the relief but it's nothing compared to seeing him. 

Tony doesn't feel his legs shaking as he climbs onto the bed. He just does. He doesn't care how desperate and silly he seems. He just  _ needs _ to touch Stephen. To feel that pulse beneath his fingertips. 

He  _ needs _ to be able to feel Stephen's warmth against his own skin. He  _ needs _ to kiss those lips and feel the warm breath against his own skin. 

The fear and terror still flow through him and it's difficult to think past it. Even with Stephen like this, in front of him, Tony can't stop thinking of that moment he realised that he was taking Stephen's life as he flew into the portal. 

He remembers the sound of Stephen's voice telling him that it wasn't his fault. That he loved Tony. He remembers the desperation he had begged Stephen with to stop whatever he had done to sacrifice himself for Tony. 

But in the end, Tony's decision had been made. It had been choice that had only one realistic outcome and decision. If he hadn't intervened, the nuke would have wiped out New York and killed Stephen with it. 

So he had flown into the fucking portal. 

As he had watched the alien armada move and fill the entirety of the dark void of space that his eyes can see, he had felt that dread and fear. 

He remembered the soft voice of Natasha asking if he realised that it was a one way trip. As he had let the nuke go and allowed the force of the missile to travel towards the aliens, he remembers hoping that the portal  _ would _ close behind him. 

That perhaps that,  _ that _ would mean that Stephen can't do what he had planned to do.  Or  perhaps if that hadn't worked out, that Tony could too perish and won't have to live in a world without Stephen. 

In that moment as he felt the oxygen disappearing, Tony had felt almost a peace and relief wash over him even as Stephen's voice had continued to speak to him. 

Tony had opened his mouth to say something. He's not sure what it is that he had meant to say to Stephen. It doesn't matter. 

He has his chance to say, as many times as Stephen wanted it, that he loved the doctor. He will get the chance to yell at the doctor for doing something as stupid as sacrificing his life for him. He can kiss those beautiful lips over and over again and he can worship the doctor's gorgeous body with his hands, with his lips, with his  very fucking soul if that's what Stephen wanted. 

He has the chance to thank Stephen for loving him the way that Stephen had thanked him. 

Tony lays his head gently on Stephen's chest so that he can listen to the steady heartbeat underneath and he's not sure when the tears even started, but the sob escapes his lips. 

Once it starts, it's as if a flood gate has been opened. Tony pulls Stephen into his arms and holds that fragile body in his as tightly as he dares and cries into Stephen's shoulder and chest, the relief undoing the knots of fear and dread that had been in his chest. 

Tony doesn't notice the way that the God of Mischief watches him and Stephen with deep,  unshakable  sorrow in his eyes. He doesn't notice the way that Clea helps Loki up from the floor and gently leads him to a chair to sit down. 

Tony doesn't hear the quiet conversation Clea has with the god. 

Tony doesn't hear anything but the steady beat of Stephen's heart. He feels nothing but the tears running down his face and the shake of his own body through the sobs that wrecks through them. 

"I-I love you." Tony mutters over and over again between the sobs. 

Tony doesn't hear the god's heart break. 

~~~ 

**Monday **

**2 May 2011 **

Focus on the work. 

Don't think about what Tony did. Don't dwell on the fact that she had almost lost Tony, Clea and Stephen and all of fucking New York itself. Don't think about what could have happened. 

Focus on what  _ has _ happened. 

Focus on the fact that Tony  _ did _ come back out of that fucking portal. Focus on the fact that New York did survive. That Clea has been in contact. Focus on that. 

Focus on all the work she has to do now. 

Pepper breathes in slowly and deeply. It takes effort to focus. It takes  _ effort _ to push the fear, the dread and the anxiety back to the corner of her mind to be dealt with later. 

There is a disaster on hand and she has things that she has to do. It shouldn't be her job to help everyone that was  affected by the tragedy and people she didn't even know, like Dr Banner and a Norse God, but that's what Tony would want. 

And right now, though it's not her job as the CEO of a company to intervene in world events, Pepper doesn't give a flying fuck. What she needs is to know that Tony is safe. That Stephen is safe and that Clea is safe. 

And right now, they aren't, are they? 

The reports were going crazy with the drama  of the incident but Clea and her had been quick to jump on the situation. 

It had been Clea that had made the first call. Get the legal and PR team to New York to help handle the situation and make sure that they could get Tony out of the clutches of SHIELD. 

The security team at the Tower has already secured the Tower and the suit. FRIDAY and JARVIS has locked the Tower down to prevent access by anyone that didn't belong there. It wasn't perfect but Pepper knew how important it was to make sure that Tony's creations didn't end up in SHIELD's hands as they tried to 'clear' the 'crime scene'. 

Without Tony to make the decisions, it had been up to her to do so and her goal was simple. Protect Tony and his property. 

The last thing that Pepper had expected was for another fucking Norse God, the one that had led the invasion at that, taking Tony out of SHIELD, but Clea told her that she was with Tony now and that he was safe. 

The legal team and the PR team had arrived and settled into the D'Arte hotel and they were ready to go and do whatever that she and Tony needed them to do. 

Pepper still remembers the phone call she'd gotten right after the invasion. 

She had been stopped in the middle of a meeting with the Heads of various departments in Stark Industries, going over their plans for the movement of the Headquarters. 

It's her secretary that had interrupted the meeting with panic on her face as she turned the TV on. The image of- No. No. Don't think about that. 

The phone call. Yes. The phone call that had come right after that. 

It had been Clea, telling her that both Tony and Stephen as well as herself  were okay. 

The relief that she had felt in that moment had been... overwhelming. Pepper had sobbed her gratitude into the phone. She hadn't even been sure who she had been thanking. Clea for calling her or some force in the universe for keeping those that she loved safe. 

It hadn't mattered because right after that revelation, they've had to scramble to deal with the crisis. 

Clea had been clear headed. She had been all business and getting on top of the situation even as Pepper had floundered initially. But focusing on the work had helped and Pepper had gotten on board quickly. As had the others. 

It was easier to work and to focus on keeping themselves and Tony and those that he cared about safe than to deal with the realisation that aliens were real and they were amongst them. 

The press's current narrative was a dangerous one and it didn't take a genius to see that. The fear mongering and the demands for retribution was going to lead them to a path of self destruction and Pepper feared that. 

The demands for the Avengers to come out and to deal with the aftermath was another problem that they had to deal with. With only Tony as a recognisable Avenger, the call for him to explain what happened was coming through to SI. 

That gave them some control over the narrative and Pepper seized that opportunity. Pepper doesn't generally speak for Tony without his permission. But as Clea had told her, he wasn't in a position of being able to make decisions. 

It fell to her and Clea and their legal and PR teams to handle the situation. 

The steps they came up with were simple. Buy time. Get Thor and Banner out of SHIELD's clutches. Clea had been the one that had made it clear that it was necessary. Pepper hadn't understood why, but her distrust in SHIELD made it easy for her to agree with the assessment. 

"Ms Potts, the plane is ready to go when you are. We have received clearance from New York authorities for you to arrive in New York." Finally, Pepper thinks as she nods to her secretary. 

"Thank you. I'll be ready to go in about an hour. I just need to finish up a couple of things. Would you be able to organise some clothes and necessities for me please?" Pepper asks and her secretary nods firmly. 

"Ms Strange has already organised it with the other assistants. Lauren is already at your apartment." She says and Pepper smiles as she nods, amazed once again by Clea and her quick thinking. 

As she is about to go back to the tablet and the resources she was trying to organise for the Foundation, the phone rings. As soon as she sees the name Clea pop up on the phone, Pepper picks up. 

"Clea!" She can't help the warmth  and gratitude in her voice as she answers. 

"Hey Pep. Um, how's the situation going? I can't really pay attention to the TV right now." Clea sounds exhausted, Pepper notes as she leans back into her own chair. Having said that, so was she. 

She hadn't slept since the invasion had happened. 

The mad scramble after it to get the teams organised and sent to New York, assessing the reactions coming in from the world via telephone conferences with the teams as they worked their way through what their action plan was , had kept her up. 

After that, though she's had time to take a break, she hadn't been able to sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes, she could only remember seeing the red and gold Iron Man suit flying towards the portal with a missile over his shoulder. 

It's a sight that she knew was going to haunt her for some time. 

"It's going good so far. Gina thinks that we have bought the time we needed to. How's- How's Tony?" Pepper can't help the hesitation. 

She'd gotten the news that Tony had arrived at Stephen's house with Loki, but Clea hadn't had the time to tell her how Tony was. They had been forced to focus on how they were going to deal with the fact that they had the Trickster God the world considered a criminal with Tony. 

"He's alright. Exhausted, like we all are, but physically, he's alright. Loki's healed his wounds. He's a little busy and I doubt he will be able to deal with the situation for a little bit." Clea says and there is so much exhaustion and emotional pain in her voice that Pepper closes her eyes and wishes that she could be there to comfort the younger woman. 

"Hey, Clea, you okay sweetie?" Pepper can't help but ask. 

"I- I'm fine. It's- It's just been a bit hard you know?" This is the first time that the strain is naked and obvious in Clea's voice. Throughout the last day, Clea had stayed strong, focused. But they had both known that it would be a matter of time before Clea's strength waned. 

"Yeah. I know. Hey, I'm gonna be there soon and when I get there, how about we open a bottle of that chardonnay we bought in Sydney?" Pepper suggests softly, though she knows that it's very unlikely that they would be able to indulge in such a moment. It's the thought and the possibility that counts and she isn't surprised when she hears a wet chuckle.

"Yeah. Yeah. Let's- Let's do that. Oh God, I'm so sorry Pep. You have enough to worry about." Clea says but Pepper shushes her. 

"Clea, you're my friend and it's been a fucking difficult day or two. You've done an amazing job so far and you kept me together. So thank you. It's my turn to do it for you." Pepper reminds her. There's silence on the phone for a moment before Clea's voice comes through, soft and careful. 

"Pepper, when you get here, I have something to tell you. Do- Do you remember your promise?" There is so much insecurity and fear in Clea's voice that it breaks Pepper's heart. 

"Yes. I remember and I meant it Clea. When you are ready, I will be there to listen." Pepper tells her easily. She figured that something was up. 

The way that Clea was able to tell her exactly what had happened in the invasion and how all the parties were involved and who they were right after the invasion? 

Yeah. Something was up with Clea and Stephen and it was going to be something odd and strange and Pepper wasn't sure if she was prepared for it, but she was ready to listen if Clea was willing to trust her. 

Besides, at this point, with their friendship being so strong and Clea being such a big part of her life, Pepper was invested and it was going to take something world shattering like Clea being a secret villain or something to make her change her mind about their friendship. 

And if Clea was indeed a villain? Pepper may need to reassess her world views and morals. 

Clea hums softly before she lets out a soft gasp. 

"Oh! Shit! I almost forgot! Jane!!!" Clea all but shouts and Pepper pulls the phone away from her ear for a moment before she frowns. 

Who the hell was Jane? 

~~~ 


	2. Not Angry, Just Disappointed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has to decide. Stay in New York and help fix the city and lend whatever help that he can or run away as he is used to. 
> 
> Whilst on the other side of town, Loki takes a moment to breathe and to try to pull himself together. 
> 
> Jane? Well. Jane is just... disappointed. Not angry. Disappointed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd here weeeee go! 
> 
> I am so freaking tired that I really should have crashed out but didn't and I am boy oh boy going to regret that soon when I go back and read everything I wrote and realise that it's alll crazy non-sense because sleepy writing is just bad for everyone's minds. 
> 
> But hey. There's words and they are sort of on the screen so that works out right? 
> 
> So there is that. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your warm reception to Chapter 1 and as always, I will reply to all your lovely comments (though not sure whether I will manage it before I fall sleep or not I don't know) but please continue to leave them because they honestly keep me going. 
> 
> I swear, one day, ONE DAY, I might have some confidence about this writing business. But why is that every time I write something and read over it again, I can't help but think it's not good enough? 
> 
> The whole insecure creative soul etc etc trope is honestly not where I wanted to fall in.... *sighs* 
> 
> annnd I'm sleepy rambling. So. Imma gonna go and sleep now. 
> 
> Night Night! <3

**Monday**

**2 May 2011 **

The apartment is too big. 

Oh, it's luxurious and homey and the view is unlike anything Bruce has ever experienced, but after spending so long in small cramped places in various countries around the world, this luxurious apartment that he'd suddenly been handed the keys to is... too much. 

Rest up. 

That's the suggestion that had been given by the immaculately dressed lawyer as he had deposited Bruce at the apartment. 

_ Rest up and gather yourself because shit is about to hit the fucking fan _ , is honestly what he heard out of that warm friendly voice of the lawyer as he had led both Thor and Bruce to their respective apartments and had explained how things worked in the Tower. 

The fact that there were staff that will take care of the cleaning, that will provide meals and will see to any requests that he may have had been overwhelming. 

But then  _ everything _ had been overwhelming, hadn't it? 

From the Natasha Romanov coming to Calcutta to  collect him , to the ridiculously short flight on the Quinjet, to the Helicarrier that he had ended up on. 

_All_ of that had been overwhelming. 

The terror that had been building inside of him had lessened with the Hulk being released. As bad as it may sound, letting the Hulk out was cathartic and there was something inside of him that calmed down after the violence had been committed by the Hulk. 

Bruce had wondered long sleepless nights on just what that said about him as a person and just what the fuck the Hulk was to him. Because he was more than a failed experiment and he was more than just an alter ego. 

Bruce sighs as he moves to the window and looks down and out into New York. 

The activities of police vehicles, EMTs and the  rescue effort continues and Bruce can't help but think that a lot of that damage, especially the broken buildings had been caused by him and the Hulk. 

Though he can look down into the devastation, Bruce can't hear the sirens. He can't hear the cries that is no doubt happening down there. The apartment is blissfully quiet and he realises that the quiet is what is bothering him the most. 

All throughout his time with SHIELD, there had been a hive of activity. When he had been hiding out in the poor cities throughout the world, the next door neighbour had literally been a few feet away from him. But in all this space and emptiness, the silence is deafening. 

So is the feeling of being alone and all of sudden, Bruce can't do it. He can't do this, he thinks as he feels the panic starting to build inside of him. 

This was a mistake. 

He had taken the offered hand by Tony's lawyer because at the time it hadn't felt like much of a choice. It had been either stay at SHIELD where his fear was only rising and rising with each moment, or take the offered hand so that he can leave SHIELD. 

No strings attached, the lawyer had said. 

If Bruce wanted to stay and work with Tony, then great. There was a contract on the Starkpad that the lawyer had handed to him. A contract for Bruce to go back to the life he'd once had, as a scientist, as someone more than a fugitive running from the world. 

It offered a chance at life that was more than what he was used to with all the secrecy and hiding and always looking behind him. It had been a tempting offer when Tony had initially made it as they bantered and worked together. 

But when the lawyer had offered it and it was written there in black and white, it had felt too real. It had also felt like an impossible dream. 

Now, in this apartment on his own with just his terrified thoughts circling in his head, it feels like a pipe dream. Look at the destruction you bring Bruce, he tells himself as he looks down at the broken city. 

Last time he'd been in New York, he had broken Harlem and this time, it was right in the CBD. Fuck. Bruce clenches his fist. The Hulk stirs inside of him, roused by the heightened emotions. 

Bruce takes a deep breath to calm the beast. 

He shouldn't stay here. Tony has been kind to him and had tried to help him. The last thing that he should be doing is destroying the Tower that Tony had been so proud of any more than he already has. 

He knows that upstairs, in the Penthouse, there is a hole in the floor where he had used Loki, that poor abused, tortured and broken god to break apart the floors of Tony's home. 

No. He can't stay here, Bruce thinks and he is about to head out of the apartment when he hears a knock at the door. 

It's a firm knock and given how thick the door was, the fact that the sound echoes tells him that it's most definitely not a normal human knocking on the door. 

Thor then, Bruce thinks as he approaches the door and opens it to indeed, Thor standing there. The god has a hand raised as if he is about to knock again before he puts his hand down and smiles widely. 

"Shield brother!" Thor's voice is thunderous and warm as he greets him. It's as if they have been apart for years not hours, Bruce thinks. 

Despite the dramatic nature of the god's greeting or perhaps because of it, there is something about Thor that made it very easy for him to like the god. 

Perhaps it was his easy smiles, the bright and clear blue eyes, the rugged good looks or the simple way that the god seemed to view the world. Bruce wasn't sure, but there was something warm about Thor that made him feel like he can trust him. 

"Hey Thor." Bruce says in turn and he moves out of the door way so that the god can come in if he wants to. 

He does without hesitation. 

"Ah, your lodgings and mine are alike." Thor says and Bruce wonders if the god is offended by that. He is a Prince after all. Perhaps he was offended that he would have the same sized apartment as a Prince, but Thor's voice is still warm and bright. 

"After battle, I often remain with my shield brothers and we celebrate our victories. It seemed somewhat remiss of me to not have celebrated your bravery and your fierce actions." Thor tells him even as he looks out into the skylines of New York. 

Bruce notes that unlike himself, Thor doesn't look down. He looks straight across to the skylines themselves. 

"Not much to celebrate. I mean, there are so many people that have died and with all the  destroyed buildings , there are people that aren't going to have homes. No jobs to go to. The world is burning down there Thor." Bruce can't keep the bitterness out of his voice. 

For a long moment, there is silence as Thor looks down at the destruction before he turns around and looks at Bruce. 

There is something wise in those blue eyes as he turns to look at Bruce. Something that speaks volumes of lessons learnt and experience that Bruce is just now starting to get a taste of. 

"You are quite correct in that there are people suffering, shield brother. Alas, no conflict is without death, destruction and losses. But were it not for your actions and the actions of our shield brothers and sisters, it would not have just been this city and it's people that suffer." Thor tells him gravely and Bruce finds himself nodding. 

He is right, of course. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, as they say and though all this death and destruction was more than just a few broken eggs, the alternative is much, much worse. 

"Later, we will deal with the aftermath. Later, we will help out the people of the city in any and all  the  ways that we can. Even if it means I must take Mjolnir to rebuild the city brick by brick." Thor tells him and there is determination in the way that he speaks that has Bruce nodding. 

"Yeah. Yeah we should do that." Bruce tells him and Thor nods gravely. 

"Until not too long ago, I did not know the destruction I left behind. I did not understand the value of the lives lost in battle. I do now. But I also know that a  no good god or man  or King should stand by and watch suffering take place. It is a hard decision and a difficult task, grim and filled with bloodshed. But those of us with power should act for the betterment and protection of the people." Thor tells him. 

It is in that moment as Thor turns back around to look out into the city that Bruce realises that he is really looking at a Prince. A being that was born and trained to take the throne and rule over his people as he is meant to. With care and with love. 

This is a being that wouldn't hesitate to sully himself with blood if it meant that his people could be safe. Someone used to making the difficult decisions and knew how to sacrifice themselves for the greater good. 

Bruce feels the shame spike through him, hard and sharp. Whilst he had been doing nothing but running and feeling sorry for himself, those like Tony had been fixing up his fuck ups. 

Not this time, Bruce thinks as he moves to join Thor at the window. 

This time, he too looks out into the greater city and not just down below where the destruction lays. No. This time, he looks out into the city skyline, the beauty that lingers there despite the destruction and looks for the hope in the buildings still standing tall and strong because of what they did. That is what Thor had been looking at, Bruce realises. He had been looking at hope. At a future. Damn. 

"I need to make up for my mistakes. Both as Hulk and myself. Will you help me?" Bruce asks quietly. He is done running away. He's done hiding. But he also knows that doing something on his own is going to be difficult. Not when it comes to a task this big. 

"It would be an honour to assist you, Bruce Banner. I would ask you the same. Will you stand with me as I seek redemption for the actions wrought by my brother's hand?" Thor asks him. 

Bruce nods as the two of them continue to look out into New York and sink into their thoughts and plans for the future. 

In a little bit, Bruce was going to go back to his apartment. He was going to  get that contract out that Alexander had given him. He was going to read it and he was going to sign it. 

The idea of doing that, of committing to staying in New York and working with Tony Stark sends both a thrill of excitement and apprehension down his spine. But he cannot help but think that it is a step towards the right direction. Besides. He wasn't doing it alone. 

Not anymore. 

~~~ 

**Monday **

**2 May 2011 **

Magic courses through his veins. 

Loki has not tasted power like this, so concentrated and so vibrant and  _ alive _ since he had stepped into the Halls of Knowledge in Vanaheim. 

The New York Sanctum Sanctorium of the Mystic Order, as Clea Strange had called it, was a place made of magic, fuelled by magic and emitted magic in a way that has Loki fascinated. 

His seidr all but purrs as slowly, he explores the magic of the Sanctum. The shields that had disturbed his teleportation efforts shimmer brightly in his inner eyes' vision. The magics of the Sanctum  are ... breathtaking. 

The calm atmosphere and the warmth of the place has a healing effect on magic users and Loki has been in dire need of some calm and healing. The Sanctum's magics curl around him and fill him with  its power until Loki feels almost... normal once again. 

The power tastes and feels different to the one he has experienced through the Yggdrasil but the Dimensional Energies, as Clea had called it, is similar enough to his own power source that it is easy to incorporate it into himself. 

Pulling power from the Yggdrasil requires focus and concentration. But here, the magic flows all around him and is so abundant that there is no need to focus. Simply to allow it to enter him and fill him. 

"That's Stephen's doing." Clea says quietly as she returns from whatever errands that she had been running with a tray of tea and sandwiches. 

With a graceful movement, she sets the tray down and sits down in the chair in front of him. 

"The abundance of magic?" Loki asks and Clea hums as she pours the tea into both cups she has brought and pushes one towards him, indicating the sugar and milk. He doesn't partake in either, but he does accept the cup. 

"Thank you." He tells her softly. She looks surprised for a moment before she gives him a small smile. 

He had never forgotten to be polite and thank his servants, those that Asgardians believed to be beneath their stations to thank or even acknowledge. He was certainly not going to forget such common courtesies that cost him nothing to a family member of his Soul. 

"And yes. When the invasion happened, Stephen opened the doorways to the dimensions and pulled as much magic as he was capable of into the Sanctum so that we can access it without having to strain ourselves and our focus." Clea tells him. 

The awe and respect in her voice is one that Loki shares. He cannot even begin to fathom just how much concentration, focus and fortitude for magic that it would take to achieve a feat such as that. To fill this place with so much magic that it overflowed even now, days after the invasion. 

"Eventually, the energies will return to the dimensions, but for now, I'm glad that it's here because Stephen and you both need it." Clea adds as she sips at her tea and leans back into her chair, relaxing. 

For a long moment, they remain quiet, taking part in the age old ritual of tea and comfort that the warm liquid provides as they dwell in their own thoughts. 

After Loki had teleported into the Sanctum, following the Connection to Stephen, it had been Clea that had helped him to stand up and had led him to a chair to recover. 

It had been her that had seen the way that his eyes could not stay away from the loving scene of Tony and Stephen upon the bed. It had been her that had quietly led him out of the room to give them the privacy that they required and that he had required. 

She had led him to what appeared to be an open alcove near the bedroom and had helped him to sit down in the chair he is yet to move from. 

It had been Clea that explained what had happened after the invasion. The way that Stephen had collapsed and all of the spells he had been running had collapsed, including the shields that had kept Loki blind to Stephen's position. 

It breaks something inside of Loki when he hears of the healing that it had taken to repair the damage that Stephen had done to himself and the fact that there was no more healing that they could do. No magic user could return the personal reserves of magic that has been burnt up. 

Loki hadn't spoken. 

He had been too focused on the lasting image of Tony's tears and his heartbreak and the careful but passionate way that he had held Stephen. The sheer and utter love expressed in that moment had left Loki feeling hollow and empty. 

But Clea had continued to talk. 

She told him that the teleportation might have been more difficult because the Sanctum was designed to limit foreign magic from entering  its walls. It had explained why Loki had felt so drained by the simple spell. 

Teleporting with another being was of course, more difficult than simply moving himself. Teleporting to a location that he did not know, yet more difficult, but teleporting to Stephen's side should not have been so difficult. Yet, it had been. 

It had wiped the little magic that Loki had managed to recover. But Clea's explanation had made all of that make sense. As did her informing him that it was only the Connection that he shares with Stephen that even allowed him entry into the hallowed walls of the Sanctum. 

Loki would be lying if he said that he wasn't impressed by the way that the humans have managed to build a Sanctum so filled with magic and power that the building itself felt alive with magic. 

"Why are you being kind to me, Clea Strange? Do you not fear me?" Loki cannot help but ask. His tone is mocking but the girl doesn't seem to take offence. She merely shrugs her shoulders. 

"Why shouldn't I be nice to you? You're a victim, not the true  mastermind behind the invasion, for one. For another, you're my uncle's Soulmate. As far as I'm concerned, as long as you don't hurt Stephen or Tony, I'm okay with you." Clea says and Loki can't stop himself from flinching. 

Clea's eyes narrow. 

"And I'm supposing that you did just that didn't you?" Clea asks and Loki isn't quite sure what to say. The horror of his own actions is not something that he has even processed himself and there is that selfish part of him that doesn't wish to turn away the first warm hand that had reached out to him. 

"By the Vishanti, what the fuck is up with you and Tony? It's like you can't stop yourselves from sticking your feet into your mouths or fucking up when it comes to Stephen." Clea's tone is filled with annoyance, but there is no blatant anger and hatred and that has Loki blinking with some surprise as Clea sighs and looks at him. 

"Look. This whole Connection thing? I think it's fucking bullshit. I mean, I get it. The universe has mysterious ways of working or whatever. I'll drink the  kool aid . But the thing is, Stephen? He has zero understanding of self value. For someone like that, that puts themselves last, having Connections is literally justifying all the shit that he does to sacrifice himself and I hate it." Clea says and the anger is obvious this time. 

Loki does not have the benefit of the Time Stone and the visions of the universes that Stephen has seen. He does not know of the life that Stephen has led up to this point. He does not know how the love between Stephen and Tony has come to be. 

But he feels as if there is a story there. 

"How did Anthony and Stephen come to be as they are now?" Loki cannot help but ask. The need to know  _ everything _ about one's Soulmate is a craving that all those that are Connected  feel . They are, after all, a part of themselves and it stands to reason that they would want to know everything that is possible about their own souls. 

"Yeah. No. I'm not going to tell you things about them without their consent. It's their relationship and their love and if you want to know, you are going to have to ask them. But I am going to tell you a couple of things to give you a heads up." Loki is surprised by  that and  he can respect her decision. 

He cannot help but like the integrity she displays and the loyalty to his Soulmates, even if it means that he cannot get the answers that he seeks. 

"Stephen and Tony? That took a long fucking time to happen. It took a lot of time, sacrifices and heart break to happen. Stephen's had to hide his magic, the visions that he'd seen and his own personal history until this point. Tony's had to love him and accept him despite all of that. In  other words, that? That relationship? That took work. That took a  _ lot _ of fucking work and they are finally happy together so don't you dare fuck it up." Clea's tone is a warning. 

As if to back up her words, her magic flares around her and for such a young mortal, her magic is impressive, as is her control. The magic dances around her. He nods. 

“ That is not my plan. I do not mean to come between them in their relationship." Loki tells her quietly. That is why he had forced that conversation with Anthony when he first met the man. 

He had meant to manipulate Anthony and Stephen into both seeing him as a villain. As an enemy and allowing their anger and hate towards him to keep the bonds of their relationship together after his transgressions. 

"Good. And the other thing you need to know is that they are both fucking idiots." Clea tells him with a sigh as the magic seeps back into her skin and she settles back into her chair. 

"That, I have seen." Loki tells her  dryly .

Tony's disregard for his own safety as he had walked into the Tower when IT had been in control had been, of course, nothing compared to the bracelet that Stephen had created for Tony and the sacrifice that was written into it. 

"Why  do Stephen and Anthony not value their own lives?" Loki asks and Clea shrugs as she looks at him. 

"Because they are idiots. But the stories behind that  aren’t  mine to tell either. So you can ask them. Either way-" Clea continues to speak. But Loki cannot listen to her. 

He cannot hear her words nor pay attention to what is even happening in the room. All that he can feel is the overwhelming  _ heat _ flooding through the Bond that he shares with Stephen. 

He had felt it the moment that Stephen had awoken, of course. He had felt the exhaustion through the Bond. Unlike the faint Connection and Bond that he has with Tony that only allows him to feel the man's strongest and negative emotions that alerts him to danger, the Connection and Bond with Stephen is filled with their magic. 

Through that Bond and Connection, Loki feels the overwhelming heat, arousal and love come through and all of  a sudden, it's hard to breathe. The calm that the Sanctum had instilled in him vaporise as he burns with need. 

The heat travels down straight through his body and Loki tries to control himself. He is distinctly aware of Clea's presence and that it's not appropriate for him to fall into the pleasure. 

But the rush of it all is too much to take. 

Loki feels the heat excite his body as Stephen's arousal is passed directly onto him. His eyes close unbidden. His head rolls back into the chair as the erection forms in his tight leather pants. 

"Loki? Are you alright?" Clea's soft voice sounds far, far away as he fights against the arousal. But it's like trying to fight against the ocean's tides. He can try to hold it back for as long as he likes, but he knows that he will be swept away by it. 

He cannot focus enough to shield himself from it and he doesn't have the strength to pull away from the Connection and the Bond when it is filled with so much of the love and desire that he craves. 

"Oh.  _ Oh. Oh! _ For fuck sakes. Okay. I'm- I'm just gonna leave you alone." Clea mutters out as she seems to have realised what was occurring to him. The embarrassment that he should be feeling is pushed aside for the sheer arousal that crawls up and down his spine. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he notices the mumbling and swearing Clea leaves behind as she leaves the alcove. But it's an afterthought to the feeling of pure and utter arousal and desperate  _ need _ . 

The waves of desire sweeps him under and he drowns in the heat. 

And the love. 

~~~ 

**Monday**

**2 May 2011 **

Dr Jane Edith Foster is  _ not _ angry. 

She is  _ not _ mad. Nope. No. She isn't. She is  _ disappointed. _ Yes.  _ Disappointed _ . 

A year. 

A  _ fucking _ year is what she spent trying to  find a way to get to Asgard and or to open the portal for the god to come through to her. A  _ year _ of work and research and experiments. She's exhausted her funds, her favours, everything. 

After all of that, the God of Thunder arrives on Earth and doesn't even have the decency to come and see her or to contact her. 

It's- Jane sighs. 

Perhaps what she had thought was love from the god had been nothing but friendship. Maybe she misunderstood their relationship. Perhaps she had just jumped straight into believing that there was something there because she wanted it so much. 

She was always bad at choosing men after all. 

The hurt and the pain from Thor wars inside of her with the awe of seeing him in action through all the footage that she had seen of the conflict in New York. The impossibilities of what he can do  are nothing compared to what he had shown her. 

She hadn't been able to keep her eyes off of him as he had fought. It had been too beautiful and too powerful to look away from. 

All that time that she has spent waiting for him and all of the times that she had dreamt of him and his warm blue eyes and she had thought that perhaps that it had all been a dream. 

A wonderful, heartbreaking dream. 

But seeing him again, on camera, even as quickly as he was moving told her that she hadn't dreamt it all and it had been... amazing. The fear that she felt at the way that Thor was in danger and the world was in danger had been almost background to that awe. 

But now the reality of the situation and what it meant was crashing down on her. As was the fact that Thor was back and he hasn't reached out to her. 

"Are we going to New York?" Darcy asks her quietly. Jane turns to look at her but she doesn't have an answer. 

Not really. 

She wants to go. She does. She wants to track him down and yell at him or punch him or do something. She wants to see him. She just wants to know if all that she felt was just on her side and whether or not- 

There is a firm knock on the door. 

Darcy raises an eyebrow and looks at Jane. They share the confused and slightly alarmed looks before Darcy sighs and goes to the door. 

The shoddy motel they were holed up in wasn't ideal, but it was the best that Jane could afford now that she was almost completely out of funds. 

Science isn't cheap and neither was the movements they've had to make in order to try to follow the odd weather  phenomenons  they believed might link to the Einstein-Rosen bridge throughout the continental US. 

Honestly, Jane wasn't even sure why Darcy was staying with her, using her own funds to do so, when Darcy wasn't a scientist and she had nothing to gain out of this ridiculous situation she'd put them into. But she was grateful for the friendship. 

"Room service?" Darcy suggests as she grabs her taser from the bag. Jane rolls her eyes but she can't help but feel fond of her friend as she sighs and goes to the door before Darcy can taser anyone. 

She opens the door just as their guest is about to knock once again. 

The first thing that Jane sees is a slender hand raised to knock and then the shock of strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes of a woman dressed immaculately in a white business dress and heels that she really doesn't need, considering how tall she was. 

"Dr Foster?" The woman questions and Jane looks over her for a long moment before she nods. 

This woman does not look like she belongs in this cheap motel complex. She looks like the type that should be in limousines and D'Arte Hotels with a glass of champagne in her hand... and that's just shallow judgement and Jane needs to remember her manners. 

"That's me and you are?" Jane asks. She can't help being a little defensive. Since her run in with Thor, SHIELD has been constantly shadowing her and chasing across the country and it has been difficult to deal with their meddling. 

"Virginia 'Pepper' Potts right? CEO of Stark Industries? I mean, you look like her. Unless you're one of those escorts that dress up like famous women?" Darcy says and Jane is mortified as the woman's eyes go wide for a moment with surprise and shock. 

"Oh God. Darcy! I'm-" Jane tries to apologise but before she could, the woman bursts out into laughter. Her slim shoulders shake and she laughs until she has to lean against the door way to keep herself from falling. 

Jane is speechless for a moment and so is Darcy, which is saying something. Eventually, the woman recovers from her laughing fit and clears her throat, smiles brightly and wipes the tears from her eyes. 

"Thank you. I really needed that. You must be Ms Lewis and yes, I am Pepper. Would you mind terribly if I came in?" Pepper asks and Jane is flustered, but she opens the door wider and moves out of the way. 

"Thank you." Pepper tells her with a smile as she walks into the room. Jane watches and notices the way that the woman's eyes adjust to the darker lights of the room and takes in the surroundings. 

Contrary to what she thought, there is no judgement in her eyes as she looks around before her eyes settle back on Jane and Darcy, who quickly hides the taser behind her back. 

"You must be wondering why I am here." Pepper says with a warm voice and yeah, she's right at that, Jane thinks as she nods. 

"You know Tony Stark? And the fact that he is Iron Man?" Pepper's voice is professional and clipped, but her voice is warm and so are her eyes and Jane feels some of the guard she'd felt come down as she nods. 

She still can't help herself from moving a little closer to Darcy. There's comfort in numbers after all and this situation is so out of left field that she needs that comfort. 

"Who doesn't? I mean, you would have to be living under a rock to not have seen his press conferences." Darcy scoffs and Pepper looks amused again as she nods. 

"Yes, Tony has a tendency for dramatics. Anyway, I am here at his request. Thor has asked that Tony ensure that you stay safe during the invasion. I hope you will forgive him and me for tracking your location down and keeping eyes on you." Pepper says and there is real genuine apology in her voice as she says that. 

Jane blinks. 

"Sorry , what?" Jane asks as Darcy rolls her eyes and sighs. 

"Did you honestly not notice all the black SUVs that all of  a sudden found  their way here on Sunday? I thought it was just the usual SHIELD bullshit." Darcy says and Jane doesn't miss the way that Pepper's eyes darken at the mention of SHIELD. 

"I do believe the idea was to make sure that you  _ don't _ end up on SHIELD's radar. As it is, Tony and Thor  have requested that you be brought over to New York, if you are amenable." Pepper's voice is firm but warm. 

Jane feels her heart skip a beat at the  prospect of meeting Thor, but there is a bit of that fear that she feels at the meeting too. It's the classic fear of wondering whether or not the meeting was going to crash her hopes and dreams of love or not. 

"And if we say no?" Darcy asks because of course she does, her arms crossed and defiant. Pepper lets out a short laugh. 

"Oh God, you're going to either love Clea or hate her. Same with Tony for that matter." The woman says, her voice light with the laugh that still lingers there. 

"To answer the question, if you don't wish to go, that's fine. If you don't want the protection, that's also fine. We aren't SHIELD. We are not going to twist your arm, manipulate you or force you to do anything." Pepper tells them simply and the decision is so easy. Jane just needs to open her mouth and say it. 

"We'll go." Jane says quietly but before she can move to pack, Darcy stops her. 

"Wait. What's the catch? Why would Tony Stark be doing this for us?" Darcy's suspicion and her caution is honestly what has probably kept them out of SHIELD's clutches till this point and Jane knows well enough to listen. Pepper shrugs her shoulders. 

"Even if it wasn't for Thor, you're a scientist of some fame. Tony likes working with brilliant minds. Tony knows the value of such minds and more importantly, SHIELD is... let's not get me started on SHIELD." The animosity is obvious and that sells her plan to them more than anything else she has said so far. 

Jane and Darcy look at each other and they don't need to speak to share their thoughts. They simply nod to each other and then they are moving. 

"Can I help?" Pepper asks after a moment when they start packing the chaos that is their motel room into the s uitcases , the hard cases and canvas bags. They are surprised by the offer, but they nod and Pepper is quick to take them up on it. 

This is honestly the last thing that Jane had expected when she woke up in the morning after the pitiful sleep, but the butterflies flutter in her stomach. 

She's going to see Thor. 

~~~ 


	3. Everyone Needs a Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen and Tony have their contact and is able to rely on each other to calm down after the huge incident of the Invasion of New York. 
> 
> Loki... on the other hand, can't rest as the nightmares plague him. 
> 
> Will the others reach out a hand to help him? 
> 
> Back at the Tower, there are dramas unfolding even as every realises just how much work they have ahead of them. 
> 
> If only things worked out like the movies....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Your sleep-deprived angst driven and possibly cranky zombie dying for coffee here. Alright, that title is just too long. Let's just go with Kira. 
> 
> So. Not gonna lie, I am so tired that I haven't been able to write anything for two days. I am hoping that inspiration will strike once I have actually slept. 
> 
> But! I do still have a few chapters in the backlog so you guys will get the updates. I don't want to break promises >__< 
> 
> Anyways. Thank you for the lovely words of support and please do keep them coming as they are food for my ailing soul and hope you all have a fantastic day/night/morning/afternoon/evening... etc etc etc!!! 
> 
> <3  
Kira
> 
> P.S. Missaness aka the best beta reader ever, I <3 you!
> 
> P.S.S. This chapter is dedicated to Kitarakit and all the hugs that they have been giving me and the boys over the Arcs! >__< Thank you Kitarakit for your continuing support and lovely comments! <3

**Tuesday **

**3 May 2011 **

It's very late. 

Or very early. It doesn't really matter. 

Stephen lays in bed, his legs tangled with Tony's and his arms filled with the genius's warm pliant body. 

He's not quite sure what has woken him up, but he does remember the glorious pleasure and emotions that had filled his mind hours ago , before he had fallen asleep, satiated and satisfied with Tony in his arms. 

The heat had been.... overwhelming. 

Stephen had woken up to the heat of Tony's body in his, the desperation and wealth of emotion the genius had for him having turned into pure lust and desire as Tony's need to confirm that Stephen was alright and that he was safe and well, became a physical need. 

It had started with an innocent enough kiss.

A kiss that had been soft and gentle, pushed against his  lips . As Stephen's lips had opened naturally under the familiar lips, he had tasted the salt of Tony's tears. He had felt the wetness against his own cheek. 

His eyes had opened to look into the wet, warm caramel eyes filled with desperation and need and so much of that love that Stephen can't live without anymore that it had been... overwhelming. 

The kiss had turned desperate in that moment. Stephen's world had narrowed down until he could see  only Tony. Until he could  feel only Tony, taste Tony, smell Tony and he was so completely and utterly surrounded by the genius that he hadn't even realised that his Connection to Loki was an open channel. 

Tony had licked into his  mouth , drawn out the moans and breaths and kissed and swallowed all of them, as if the man was dying as he had in the skies above New York, his suit void of oxygen. Tony breathed in every single exhale of Stephen's breath as if he was oxygen itself until neither of them could breathe any more. 

It is only then that they had parted and it is only then that Tony had loomed over him, his eyes serious and filled with pain and desperation. 

_ 'Don't ever fucking do that to me again Stephen fucking Strange. Do you hear me? Don't you dare ever fucking try to sacrifice your life for mine.' _ Tony had demanded. His words had been angry. Filled with heat and the need for Stephen to agree. 

But he couldn't. How could he? Not when even in the next moment if Tony's life were to be in danger, Stephen would have gladly thrown his life away so that Tony could just take one more breath. Stephen had tried to reassure him, to calm him. But it hadn't worked. Tony had held his face in his hands, trembling like Stephen's and made sure that Stephen could not look away from those fierce caramel brown eyes. 

_ 'Stephen, your life is not an acceptable price to pay for _ any _ situation. For _ anyone _ . When you are well enough, you're going to undo whatever it is that you did with this bracelet. You're not going to ever put me in a position where I might kill you. Do you hear me?' _ Tony had demanded. 

Stephen had carefully raised his own hand, trembling badly with the exhaustion that still ran through his body and he had cupped the genius's hand with his own whilst another touched the bracelet. 

_ "I can't. Anthony, please. You-You need to understand. You are fundamental to the survival of this universe. You have always been. Your love makes me more than what I am and I am truly grateful that you love me so, but Anthony, if it means that you will take another breath and if the universe will live, there is nothing that I won't sacrifice' _ , Stephen had told him. 

Tony had stared down at him for a long moment before he had sat back onto his heels. It is only then that Stephen had realised that as they had kissed, the genius had straddled him. The genius sat back and looked down at Stephen with clear determination in his eyes. 

_ 'The universe is fucked then. Because without you, if I lose you, then I will let it burn. I don't give a fuck. There is no me without you anymore Stephen. That is what you need to understand. Because if I can't live out the rest of my life with you, then I don't want to live.' _ Tony had stated. 

It had both broken and melted Stephen's heart at the same time as he had heard the determination in the man's voice and the truth of that statement echoing through their Connection. 

There hadn't been anything that Stephen  could say to that. No plea that he could make to change Tony's mind. All he could do was lay there, exhausted and emotionally overwrought as he reached up with trembling hands towards his lover and feel the warmth of his skin and his tears against that beautiful, exhausted face. 

When Tony had reached down to kiss him again, Stephen had forced himself up. They met  halfway into a kiss that was intimate, that was soft and gentle and yet filled with so much desperation and love that it felt as  if all time had stopped  at that moment. 

_ 'So live. Find a way for both of us to live. Okay? Promise me. Promise that you will do that next time _ .' Tony had pleaded. Stephen hadn't been able to say anything. He could only nod. He had only nodded as the emotions welling  inside him prevented words. 

Instead, he had kissed Tony as if he had been drowning and that kiss hadn't been so gentle. That kiss had been bruising and life affirming and all the other romantic bullshit you can throw into a situation like  theirs . 

They had kissed each other as if it was the last act that they were going to do and the first that they were going to do. 

Tony had been right, Stephen thinks. Of course he had been. Stephen had been so focused on keeping Tony alive and so focused on doing what was right for the universe that he had forgotten what the emotional and psychological effort would be for Tony. 

If Stephen  had really  died instead of Tony as he had fallen from the skies and as Tony did now, he had known that it was his action of taking the nuke into the portal that had caused Stephen's death, then Tony would have been broken by that. 

Even in that moment, Stephen had thought that Tony would be okay. That the Order would take care of him. That Loki would take care of him and that Tony would be able to stand up again and that he would be able to be the hero that the world needs. 

But seeing him, hearing his desperate words and feeling the depth of love that Tony has for him, Stephen isn't so sure of that anymore. 

Their emotions had quickly moved on from the grief for what had almost happened to the relief that they were in each other's arms. Then the desperation to feel the life in each other's bodies. 

That had led to the kisses becoming more and more heated until they had burned with desire and lust for each other. 

It's natural progression really. 

Tony had laid him back down onto the bed, kissing him and touching him every single moment and Stephen had done the same. he hadn't been able to stop himself, despite the exhaustion he knew that they both suffered. Despite knowing that with him being so unfocused, there was no way to keep their third out of the proceedings. 

Stephen knew that Loki had felt his arousal. That Loki's body too burned with the desire that Stephen couldn't contain in his own. It had formed a loop inside of their minds. 

As Stephen's body had burned with need, that need travelled down through the Bond to Loki and as Loki was  affected by Stephen's desires and emotions and became aroused, that arousal travelled right back to Stephen. 

It had been impossible. 

Stephen had rutted against Tony, begging him wordlessly for something more. For the release that they desperately needed. Between the fact that Tony was in his arms, the emotional chaos that had been in their minds and the magic that had been and is still so heavy in the air throughout the Sanctum, it had been... impossible. 

Tony had gotten them undressed. He had wrapped his hands around both of them and started to give Stephen that stimulation that he had needed, but it hadn't been enough. 

Not even close to enough. 

It had just required a thought. The bedside table drawer had opened and the lube had found  its way into Stephen's hand and he had pressed it desperately into Tony's, unable to make the request verbal as he kissed the genius over and over again. 

Tony had hesitated. 

There were still marks on Stephen's body that had been left behind by Loki. There were still bruises upon his hips. There were still kiss marks. Grimshaw hadn't healed those. They weren't life threatening, nor dangerous. Stephen understood why Tony hesitated. 

Because Tony cares. 

It had made his heart swell even more with that love that he feels for the genius, until he had smiled, even as  tears welled in his eyes. In that moment, he had been able to utter the one word that mattered. 

_ 'Please,' _ Stephen had begged and Tony had complied. By the time that Tony had kissed him tenderly and started to prep him, the tears had  begun to fall and Tony had kissed every single one of them away even as he had tenderly prepped him. 

By the time that Tony had entered him, filling him in that perfect way that Tony always does, Stephen hadn't been able to hold back the cries  and moans . 

There were others outside. Stephen knew that. The Masters had  still been  working the spells to hold the wards  and shields in place. The Sanctum was  _ filled _ with the Order members. But in that moment, Stephen hadn't cared. 

He had cried out, he had moaned, he had panted and he had begged as Tony gave him exactly what  he needed . 

He hadn't even cared that he could feel Loki just outside of the bedroom. He hadn't cared that just as they had been falling apart in their desire and lust for each other, Loki too had been falling apart. 

The magic that had filled the Sanctum and flooded him had burst out as he had come. He had lost all control of his magic and in that moment, bursts of his magic had manifested itself in the room as butterflies and bursts of orange sparks. 

Tony had looked around in wonder, stopping his movements as the butterflies fluttered about them and as sparks filled the air. 

_ "I'm-I'm so sorry I- I can't- I can't control-" _ Stephen had tried to apologise, but Tony had just kissed him, his lips forming a smile and laughing as he looked down at Stephen with a wicked smile on his lips. 

_ "If this is what happens when you  _ _ lose _ _ control, then I haven't been working hard enough _ ." Tony had muttered against his lips before thrusting in hard into Stephen's body and in that moment, Stephen had sobbed out his cry as he clung desperately onto Tony. 

The easy way that Tony had accepted him, including his magic had made his heart swell to the point he felt as if he would burst with the pure joy of their love. 

_ "I love you magic man." _ Tony had muttered against his lips as he continued to make love to Stephen. Stephen had just held onto him and tried to tell Tony with his kisses and his cries just how much he loved him too. 

When the release had come, it had been with a sob and the magic bursting into fireworks all around them. Stephen had held Tony tightly in his trembling arms and thanked the Vishanti that the man had loved him. 

_ "Fireworks? Really?" _ Tony had asked, laughing with delight as the magic continued to burst into bright sparks of orange and gold lights around them, lighting up the room and shimmering around them. 

After that, Tony had chased his own release and there had been whispers of love shared before they had fallen asleep, curled together as they are now. 

Stephen looks up from Tony's sleeping visage and realises just what had roused him from his sleep. The initial surprise of seeing the quiet figure standing inside the room at the foot of the bed is surprising. But not as surprising as the raw pain and anguish that he can see on that face. 

"I- I should not be here." Loki's voice is soft and broken and as Stephen hears it, he can't help but feel the god's pain. He is being considerate. He was holding back as much of the pain and anguish that obviously haunts him from the Bond so that Stephen isn't shaken by it. 

But he can see it. 

Even in the faint moonlight streaming through the windows, Stephen can see the pain etched into the god's face and the fear lingering in his eyes. The jealousy that the god feels isn't for either Stephen or Tony. It is for what they share that he  desires but does not have. 

The thing is, Stephen has seen inside of Loki's mind. Even without the Sceptre, it is clear that Loki is still disturbed and broken. The need is raw on his face but Stephen knows that he won't ask. 

"You need us." Stephen finds himself saying, even as the alarm goes through his head. This is insanity, he thinks at one corner of his mind. The fear drive inside of him tells him to take the words back. 

To turn the god away, but the bigger part of him, the part of him that has seen that pain and understands what nightmares are, extends a trembling hand towards the god. 

"Let us help you." Stephen says quietly and Loki stares at the offered hand for a long moment. For that moment, Stephen thinks that Loki won't take it. 

But slowly, the god moves until a cool hand rests on Stephen's. With hands that also tremble, the god raises Stephen's hand to his lips and kisses the back of it softly. 

His lips feel cold. 

"I swear it, Stephen. I will never, ever lay a finger upon you without your express desire and consent. I will never, ever allow you to be hurt. I swear it." Loki's voice is quiet but firm and Stephen looks up into those emerald green eyes and nods slowly. 

Stephen wonders just how difficult it is for the god to say that. To be so vulnerable with them like this, without the mantle of his princely garbs or his pride. To stand before Stephen and to lay down everything that he is before his feet. 

For a being that has lived for so long and have lived a life where he needed not to bow down to a single being, this situation must be incredibly difficult, Stephen thinks. Loki has lost everything. 

His sense of self, his position, his pride and even his mind. 

Stephen feels his heart fill with sorrow and sympathy as he smiles and with the other hand, moves the sheets in an invitation that he knows that the god will not be able to refuse. 

"I know." Stephen tells him softly. Stephen isn't surprised when he feels the first tear fall upon his hand as the god looks up at him. The emerald green eyes almost shine even in the minimal light in the room. 

They are beautiful, Stephen thinks as he slowly draws the god into the bed. When they get up, when everyone is awake and the world needs to be dealt with, they will talk. They will lay out the guidelines and expectations. 

But for the time being, Loki needs them and in a way, they need him too. As much as Stephen wishes that weren't the case, it's the truth and it's something that Stephen has to accept. 

Loki's face curls into Stephen's shoulder and he feels the tears seeping through the thin sleeping shirt. But for now, Loki was hurting and Stephen couldn't leave him in that state. 

No one deserves to face nightmares alone. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**3 May 2011 **

The slap echoes through the large apartment. 

"Holy shit!" Jane cries out in the stunned silence after her actions. Her hand burns with pain that she honestly hadn't been prepared for. 

Thor stands before her, shock obvious on his face, His face hadn't even turned though she'd put all of her strength into the slap that he sorely deserved. 

There is a clutter of bags dropping as both Darcy and Pepper had dropped their bags as Jane had slapped Thor solidly across the face. 

"Domestic violence , Jane!! Bad Jane!" Darcy yells out and honestly, that does fill Jane with some shame, but the anger that she feels burns brighter as she moves closer to Thor and looks up at him with her angry eyes. 

"Where the fuck were you?!" Jane cries out towards Thor. 

The thing is, all the way during the plane ride, she had been just excited. There had been that mix of apprehension and excitement but the moment that she had been led into the apartment and actually saw Thor for the first time in a year, looking just as he had done when she had last seen him, the anger is what had hit her first. 

And it had hit hard and fast, just as her hand had. 

"Jane, I- I am sorry that I could not return. There was-" Thor starts to say but Jane doesn't care. She pulls him down and he lets her and she kisses him. 

There is a gasp of surprise. She's not sure if it's from the room of strangers and Darcy or from Thor. She doesn't care. She only cares that Thor's lips open and he allows her to plunder his lips and to taste the sweetness of poptarts from his lips. 

Chocolate, she thinks as she kisses him and it becomes softer and gentler as the anger drains out of her and she instead fills with warmth of his gentle kiss and hold as he holds her in his arms. 

It's everything that she had wanted in the last year and it loosens the knot inside of her chest and when she pulls away, she feels better. The apprehension that she had drains and leaves nothing but the excitement and the love that had burned through her from the first moment their eyes had met. 

"I missed you." She says instead of the angry words that had been on the tip of her tongue just a moment ago as she looks up into his beautiful blue eyes. 

"As have I, my dearest Jane. Had it been possible to return to your arms before this, I would have." Thor tells her in that beautiful gravelly voice of his. She can see that he means it too from the way that his soft eyes are filled with regret. 

"Why didn't you come to see me when you got here?" She can't help but ask. There are others in the room. She knows that there are others in the room and she really shouldn't be only seeing Thor, but the truth of the matter is, he  _ is _ all that she can see. 

"I could not fair Jane. I had to ensure that your planet would be safe. That you were safe." Thor tells her gently and Jane can't help but nod as she lays her head against his chiselled chest. She listens to his warm heartbeat as he wraps his arms around her and lowers his head. 

It's as if he wants to cocoon her completely in his arms to protect her from everything that could possibly hurt her ,  and in his arms she finally feels her heartbeat  slow  down until she feels calm. Warm. Safe. 

"Okay, so... hi Thor. Welcome back to Earth." Darcy says in that sarcastic and dry tone of her's and that draws Jane back to the room and the real world. 

That and the throbbing in her hand. 

"I'm so sorry for hitting you Thor, I really shouldn't have -What  _ are _ you made of?" Jane asks as she looks down at her red, swelling hand. Thor gently captures that hand in his with a frown. 

"Asgardians are made to be stronger, more durable than humans. You are in pain Jane." Thor says with a frown but there is a flurry of activity before a man that Jane doesn't know approaches them and takes Jane's hand from Thor's. 

"It doesn't look like anything is broken. I'm going to say bruising. Ice packs and general pain killers should be enough." The man says with a soft voice even as Pepper returns from the kitchen, Jane assumes, with an ice pack and tea towels. 

With expertise that speaks of having done this before, Pepper wraps the ice pack in the tea towels and ties it neatly around Jane's hand. 

"There. Are you certain that there aren't any fractures or anything Dr Banner?" Pepper asks and it's only then that Jane looks at the man with the brown curls. 

"We can't be certain without a scan, but I'm going to say that it's very unlikely. She would be in far more pain than she is now." Dr Banner says as he takes a step back now that he has made the diagnosis. 

"So. I'm Darcy Lewis and I'm the violent Dr Jane Foster's assistant." Darcy says with a raised hand, drawing the room's attention to her. Jane can't help but smile as she nods and turns to look at the doctor. 

"Bruce Banner." The man says with a small smile, but considering the fact that her hand was bundled in the ice pack, he doesn't offer her a hand. 

"Dr Banner is a shield brother. He has fought valiantly against the Chitauri. It was an honour to share the battlefield with him.." Thor declares in that thunderous voice and Jane can't help but smile as she fondly looks at him. 

A year. 

A full fucking year of searching for him and working on her theories and missing this ridiculously impossible man in her life. And it feels like it was just yesterday. 

Just like meeting an old friend after years and being able to just slip back into conversation as if there hasn't been any distance between them, it feels natural to be in Thor's arms. 

"Since we are doing introductions, I am Pepper Potts and we have work to do, if you are all ready." Pepper says and the atmosphere in the room changes. 

Jane can't help but look past Thor and into the destroyed city that lay beneath them. She's not sure what she could do given her expertise, but if there was something that she could be doing, then she wanted to do it. 

"I'm ready." Bruce is the first one to respond and there is seriousness in his eyes as he straightens his shoulders and nods firmly towards Pepper. 

"Not sure what I can do, but if you mean that mess down there, then yeah. I'll help." Darcy pipes up and Pepper seems surprised, but there is warmth in her eyes as she nods. 

"Same." Jane says as Thor holds her a little tighter against him. Pepper gives them all a smile before she gestures to the door. 

Jane doesn't know what lays outside of that door, but she has a distinct feeling that Pepper Potts had a plan and somehow, they had a role to play in that plan. 

Jane doesn't mind what her role is. As long as Thor was going to be there and she can't help but look into his beautiful blue eyes one last time as they too look down at her. 

The smile is impossible to hold back. 

~~~~ 

**Tuesday**

**3 May 2011 **

Holy mother fucking shit. 

Tony can't help but look around the New York Sanctum Sanctorium with awe colouring his perspective of Stephen. 

Stephen Strange had always been an extraordinary person in Tony's eyes. His intelligence, his brilliance, the quiet confidence he had and all that had always been attractive to Tony and he had always admired that in his lover. 

But he hadn't realised just quite how charismatic Stephen is. He hadn't seen Stephen as a leader amongst his people in the way that he was seeing it now and Tony can't help but feel... proud. 

Tony watches from where he is seated with Clea as she goes through the situation with Stark Industries, the public and the media. Tony should be focusing on her, but he can't. 

Even as he listens with one ear, the other is focused on Stephen and the calm and charismatic way that he is making the decisions as one after another, sorcerers in colourful robes approach him and speak to him. 

"He really is something isn't he?" Tony can't help the awe and pride in his voice as he looks at his lover as he juggles looking over tablets of information that are brought to him, the requests and reports that he receives from the various sorcerers and the cup of tea that Wong had brought him. 

Stephen, dressed in his casual clothes sits in the chair as if it is a throne and he looks as every bit regal as a King holding Court and Tony feels the warm arousal form in his stomach as he watches Stephen. 

He isn't the only one that can't take their eyes off of Stephen either. Loki sits in a quiet corner of the Sanctum, his eyes focused on Stephen and every now and then, turning to Tony. 

Two years ago, Tony wouldn't have known nor noticed, but he sees just how carefully the god had chosen his seat. He looks relaxed and calm and he is leaning casually back in the comfortable chair, but Tony can see how alert the god is. 

The corner Loki has chosen to relax in is against the wall of the front entrance of the Sanctum. He sits right by the door. From where he is, he can keep an eye on both the door, the large windows of the Sanctum, Tony and Stephen. 

In other  words, Loki was in the best position in the Sanctum to protect Tony and Stephen. 

And that, Tony thinks, speaks louder than the words that they had shared only an hour or so ago when they had woken up. 

Tony has to admit that it had been a huge surprise to wake up in the morning to find that he was curled into Stephen's one side whilst the god had been curled into the other, still in deep exhausted sleep. 

_ He needs us _ , Stephen had said and Tony had simply nodded. Stephen's voice had held the concern and apology that Tony had kissed away. He had seen how messed up the god was and he heard the stories from Thor. There was enough sympathy in his heart for the god that he could let go. Besides, if Stephen was alright with the god in their bed, then so be it. 

Okay, it wasn't that simple. 

The thing was, he had meant it when he told Stephen that he didn't share. That he doesn't want to share. But at the same time, he had also meant it when he had said that he didn't see three as a crowd. 

Having seen how difficult it was for Stephen when the god was far away and the aftermath of what happens when the Connection or whatever it is called is stretched between the two of them, Tony was alright with sharing. 

If it  means that Stephen won't suffer, then Tony can stomach the idea of sharing Stephen with the god, even if there was jealousy in his heart and even if it pained him to think of the two of them together. Even if he couldn't forgive the god just yet. 

The conversation hadn't been an easy one. But surprisingly, it had been calm. Stephen and Loki outlined what the Connection was and how it  affected them. Based on that, they had set some ground rules. 

How those rules were actually going to work was something Tony supposes they will have to work out, but for the time being, Tony finds himself calm even as the sharp emerald green eyes meet his from across the room. 

"So um... I take it that you're okay with um... what Stephen is?" Clea says quietly and the break from the briefing that she had been giving him brings her his full attention. 

He has been listening, of course he had, but he had also been thinking. Clea and Pepper really had outdone themselves, as he imagines Alexander and Gina had with their teams. The press release stating that he will give a press conference on Wednesday had been a brilliant one. 

It bought them the time that they had needed to get their heads together after everything that had happened. It also bought them the time to get together and get their stories straight. 

The fact that Banner has chosen to stay is a good start and so was the cooperation that he knew he would be getting from Thor and Loki. Between them, Tony knew that they would be able to tell the story of the invasion the way that it needed to be told to absolve Loki of his 'sins' as far as the world was concerned. 

If Stephen needed Loki around, then the last thing that they needed was for the god to be prosecuted as a war criminal. 

It was going to take one hell of a press conference, but Tony was confident that between them all, they can manage it. They have to. 

"If this is your way of telling me that you use magic, Clea, I'd say it's a bit late." Tony tells Clea eventually as he focuses on her and the way that nerves seems to have overtaken her quiet confidence voice. 

"Yeah, well no. It's just that um... I want to tell Pepper." Clea says and Tony nods as he can understand the nerves. 

Yeah. 

That was the thing wasn't it? Tony had seen just how nervous Stephen had been as he had explained what he was and what it meant. Even when Stephen had lost control of his magic and Tony saw just what magic looked liked when it came from Stephen as it filled the bedroom, Stephen's eyes had been filled with fear and he had apologised, as if he had expected that Tony would reject him or fear him as a result of it. 

A secret that big, such a part of themselves must be a difficult one to reveal. Especially when the concept was such an unfamiliar one. Tony looks at Clea as he carefully thinks of the right things to say. 

"The whole magic thing. I still don't get it. I don't know just what Stephen can do with it. And until right now, I had no idea what the whole Sorcerer Supreme thing was and what it meant. But it doesn't change who he is,  does it? He was always this. It's just a side of him that I haven't seen before." Tony says as he turns to watch Stephen again. 

It's hard to keep his eyes off of Stephen. 

"Pepper loves you like a sister Clea. She might be shocked and she might be a little scared, but you don't change because of the magic thing. She's gonna get that." Tony tells Clea as he watches Stephen talking to yet another sorcerer. 

Yeah. Sorcerer. Fuck. 

Tony was definitely going to have to think a lot more about that. There are so many questions in his head about the magic and all that and just what Stephen's responsibilities are so that he can actually understand what he can do to help. So that he can try to protect Stephen the way that he protects Tony. 

Finding out about the magic and what that means isn't what Tony really focuses on though. He can't help but hope that this knowledge means that he won't be left behind again like when Stephen got hurt. When he'd been left only with the remnants of Stephen's blood and panic beating against his chest. 

If he never has to feel that again and that ridiculous wait only to find out that Stephen had been seriously wounded, then he was okay with whatever Stephen was. 

"You're- You're not scared?" Clea asks and Tony turns to look back at her and gives her a smile. 

"Of you? Clea, hate to tell you this but I've been terrified of you since you stormed into my house to take Stephen back home." Tony tells her with the amused tone designed to make her laugh. It works. She lets out a surprised laugh and something about her relaxes as she lays her head against his shoulder. 

They are sitting close enough for her to do that and he pats her head softly. 

"Pepper loves you Clea. That's not gonna change. Okay? And just make sure she doesn't have any hot coffee around her when you tell her." Tony tells her softly and Clea  chuckles as she nods. 

Soon, Tony has to go. Well, Tony and Loki. Back to the Tower, where all this had started. To meet with Thor, Banner and Pepper and to work with their legal and PR teams to get the right story ready for the press conference. 

Tomorrow, the world was going to be watching. But for today, they had the reprieve to sit, relax a little and plan. Because by the gods they needed it. 

"Sorry. Um. We should go back to work." Clea says as she starts to pull away from him. Tony doesn't let her. Instead, he folds her completely into his arms and holds her tightly before kissing her softly on her hair. 

"We can do that in a bit." Tony tells her as he holds her and her arms come around him and she clings to him as she breathes deeply. This hadn't been easy on her, he suspects. It hasn't been easy on anyone. 

All around the Sanctum, he sees broken people. Still fighting and still determined to do what they need to do, but touched and broken by all that they have seen and experienced. Some physically, others mentally and emotionally. 

When this is all over and done with, they were all going to need time to sit with themselves, their emotions and their thoughts and heal. Right now, they didn't have the luxury of time to do that. But they could spare the short moment needed to share a hug and offer words of support. 

Even if Tony wasn't the best at it and it was still foreign to him, it did feel right to give Clea that hug and let her draw on whatever strength that he had so that she can get through this. It's about time Tony learns to support his friends. 

Just as they had been supporting him. 

~~~ 


	4. The Role of The Press

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Press and through the press, the world's opinion hangs in the balance. 
> 
> Will Steve tell the lies that he has been given to tell? 
> 
> How will Tony's press conference change the way the world reacts and sees the invasion of New York?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings and Salutations!  
A few hours late... cause I fell asleep. 
> 
> I've had a dramatic day. Shortly after posting Chapter 3, I got the news that my grandmother passed away. A month ago, my aunt passed away. It has been an ear and throat infection (which still makes me feel like a child), the news and contractors coming to rip my kitchen up... it hasn't been an easy day for me. 
> 
> So apparently I needed a nap. Which I took and I do feel better. Yay. 
> 
> Thank you to those on the Discord Server that gave me the comfort I needed when I needed it and for keeping me distracted. Especiall you MDCBD and all your memes. 
> 
> I still haven't fully processed and dealt with the news yet but luckily there's enough backlog that it shouldn't effect the update schedule (if I can stay awake during my self imposed update hours). 
> 
> Thank you for your wonderful, wonderful comments and support. 
> 
> <3  
Kira

**Wednesday **

**4 May 2011 **

They are lies. 

The script of the ‘press release' that Steve has been requested, no _ ordered _ to give was filled with lies. He looks up from the words written in black on the white page and looks up at Natasha Romanov. 

There is a faint flicker of anger in her eyes before they disappear behind the calm and Steve sighs as he meets her green eyes with his blues. 

"Nat, these- these are lies." Steve tells her. She already knows. Of course, she does. They had both been there throughout the whole invasion. 

"Yes." Is her only response. 

Steve looks down upon the words once again before looking up at her. Since their talk at the Tower, Natasha had been somewhat... tense with him and the thing is, he gets it. 

He screwed up. 

No. That's not quite right. He had done and said what he had believed to be right. But perhaps, he had acted and thought based on an incomplete set of information. But the fact remains, that is what he understood and thought at the time. He had just been honest about his views. That's what he had been taught. 

Natasha was right, in that he did let the views of other people and their opinions colour what he thought and believed and he had forgotten his mother's advice to never judge a book by its cover. 

But how the hell was he supposed to do something more than that when he'd had but just a few moments with Tony Stark? When the man dismissed him and acted so arrogantly? 

Natasha's anger towards him was unjustified and unfair, Steve can't help but think. Bucky would have understood. Peggy would have understood but they aren't with him. No. They are gone. 

All he has is Natasha and her friendship and he'd disappointed her and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth when he looks at her. 

And now this, Steve thinks as he looks down at the paper again for the umpteenth time. Fury's instructions had been clear. 

Get into the Captain America suit that they had, put the shield on his back and go into the press conference room they set up and read from the sheet. 

They had to get ahead of the narrative that Tony Stark was going to put out, Fury had said. Steve didn't quite understand what the whole 'narrative' thing was and why it was so important to get their press conference done before Tony Stark's but that's what Fury had told him to do. 

But here was Natasha and just by her being here with him, her lips tight in an unhappy line and her eyes filled with that anger that flashes every now and then, Steve isn't sure if he _ should _ be reading from this piece of paper. 

"What do you want me to do Nat?" Steve asks with a sigh as his shoulders slump. Steve is used to the media. That's why Fury had asked him to do this. He knows that. 

He has experienced the media in the 40's. He's done the media circuit as he performed his shows and sold the war bonds and after that? He'd gotten even more used to the media. He saw his own picture splashed across the newspapers. He got to see his name printed on the newspapers and reporters had clamoured over each other just to get him to turn to look at them or say something, anything. 

It had been thrilling. 

Fame wasn't what Steve had ever wanted but it hadn't been all that bad having it. But this sort of thing was different. He had sold the war bonds like a trained monkey because he had wanted to help and he hadn't known how else to help. 

He had been young and naive and he had fallen for the Senator's alluring words and he had just... acted. But now, he wasn't sure if he wanted to be that trained monkey again, for one and for another, he wasn't sure if he was willing to tell the world lies. 

"To think for yourself. To do what you think is right. To prove that you are a good man and that you have a good heart that deserves that uniform and that title." Natasha tells him. 

It's not an answer, but it is the best answer that he was going to get from her. She was also right. 

Steve isn't sure when he'd given up thinking for himself, but he has. Especially since he had woken up from his 'sleep' and found himself in the future, he had let SHIELD tell him where to go, what to eat and how to train. It was easier to do that. 

It's the life that he was used to. Since he was a child, all he wanted to do was serve his country. He came from a family of soldiers and he wanted to serve, just like them. It felt like his calling, but his fragile body had prevented him from serving. Until, of course, Erskine had come along. 

It had been hard when Erskine had died, but he thought that perhaps he had found a purpose, a means to help the world as he sold the war bonds. That had been easy enough to do. Listen to the cheers of the crowds, focus on the cameras and recite his lines. 

All he'd had to do was go where he was told to go, stand where he was told to stand and speak as he had been told to speak. 

But once he had taken charge of the Howling Commandos, everything had changed. He had gone from being told what to do to telling others what to do. It had been thrilling. Taking control and leading had felt good. 

Even then, he'd had commanders that dictated which bases to hit next and what objectives needs to be accomplished. It had been a good balance and having Fury and the directions from him is easy. 

But this? This he isn't sure about. 

"This is important isn't it?" Steve asks after a moment. They only have a few more of those moments before Hill was going to return to take him out to the podium. Natasha nods slowly at him. 

"Yes. It is, Steve." She tells him. It's the answer he'd expected. 

Steve feels out of his depths. 

He doesn't understand this world and its politics. He doesn't know anymore what he stands for and what he is meant to be fighting for. The indecision must show in his eyes as he looks at Natasha for the guidance and the help that he wants. But that's not what Natasha does. 

"You're not going to tell me what to do, are you?" He asks and for the first time in days, she smiles at him. It's just a small smile, but she smiles and he nods. 

"You're an adult. A man in a position of power and influence whether you like it or not and ready for it or not and that comes with responsibility and I can't be there to hold your hand. You're going to make mistakes and fuck it up, but you need to know that it's_ your _ mistakes, _ your _ fuck ups. Face the consequences and then learn from them." She tells him firmly. 

It's not the response that he had wanted, but he supposes it makes sense. He had been relying on her and SHIELD to make his decisions for him hadn't he? He had let himself be swaddled and let go of his agency. 

No, he supposes, it is time for him to make some decisions for himself. He looks down at the script one last time and nods firmly. 

There is a small bit of thrill that goes through his spine that is accompanied by a larger and firmer sense of fear and dread, but those are feelings that Steve is used to. It's what he used to feel when he had called bullies out and pulled them into the alleyway. 

He'd handled that without this super strength and durability and he can do it again now with it. Mind made up, he looks up at Natasha and knows that he doesn't have to tell her what he decided. 

She smiles. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**4 May 2011 **

It was around this time two years ago wasn't it? 

That's when it all started. Iron Man, the changes to Stark Industries, Stephen and Clea entering their lives. It seems fitting that it was another round of press conferences that were going to bring new people into her life, along with new problems, Pepper imagines. 

She sits in a quiet corner of the small conference room. Through the double doors nearby, she can hear the loud clamouring of excitement and apprehension as the media people settle down in their seats. 

Professional as they are, she imagines that they were going to to know that they were in for a long haul just by the fact that they have chairs set up. 

Gina Park and her team really has done their job quite well, Pepper thinks as she recalls the set up in the room behind her. The giant screen will tell them that like last time, they plan to show footage and they will get their cameras ready for that.

The press packet with an outline of each of the members of the 'Avengers' that they have will be handed out shortly before the boys are ready to take to the stage and the stage itself will send the signal that this is a more formal affair than the usual Tony Stark press conference. 

The plush and comfortable chairs set up on the stage will tell them that despite the formal setting, it was still an intimate affair and on brand with the dark red and gold trimmings on the seats. 

With all that information already in their heads and their awareness of what had taken place during the invasion so far, they were going to be ready for some big reveals and big reveals, they were going to be given. 

It's the first quiet moment Pepper has had in days now to sit and just think and she can't help but reflect back on the journey that her life has taken. 

Two years ago, she had just been Tony's personal assistant, juggling the chaos that was his personal life of his playboy lifestyle, his partying and the countless NDAs along with Stark Industries work. She had been a glorified babysitter making sure that the genius didn't run out of food or coffee or materials to do his work. 

All the while keeping the paperwork and the humdrum of daily business that bore him to a minimum. Supporting him as a PA as well as a friend to keep his mind working and indulging him in the moments of childish behaviour so that she can cajole him into doing the work that he did need to do. 

But that wasn't the Tony Stark she sees now. 

Instead of the playboy lifestyle, Tony has settled down with a man that honestly had been amazing for him. Stephen kept Tony focused, calm and relaxed and confident in a way that no one has ever been able to. And most importantly, Stephen made Tony _ happy _. 

The Tony that she sees now is responsible. He still complains about the board meetings and the paperwork, but they are token protests. A part of their banter. This Tony doesn't shirk his duties. This Tony doesn't hide from his emotions and go for the easier path. 

This Tony is willing to sacrifice himself for the good of others.

That, Pepper could have done without, but she recognises the growth in her friend for what it is. He'd always been a good man. She wouldn't have stuck around if he hadn't been. But this Tony isn't just a good man. 

He is a hero. 

A man that loves and is loved, a man that is supported and secure in his place in the world and strives to make the world better for those that he loves and because he has the power to do it and thus sees it as a responsibility. He is more than a man that she loves as a friend now. He is a man that she respects and looks up to. 

Pepper couldn't be more proud of who Tony has become. 

But he isn't the only one that has changed. Like good men do, Tony hadn't just raised himself up and become better by himself, but he has brought her up with him. Sliding into the position of CEO of Stark Industries had felt natural. 

She felt herself blossoming in the job and the job satisfaction was amazing. The growth of the company under her direction, focused as it is unlike with Tony, had been great. It wasn't that Tony had been bad at running the company. It was that he had too much on his plate and the company had only received his divided attention. 

With her full focus and attention, Stark Industries was expanding carefully and strategically and the company culture was changing to allow for the diversity of both personnel and acceptance as well as diversity of ideas. 

Tony was an inspiration for all of them and it allowed them to grow in the right directions to do good things for the world and luckily for them, that also brought in the funds so that they can do more and help where they can. Like in New York now. 

It was going to be tight and they might have to push back some of the current projects by a few months, but Pepper and Tony were determined to ensure that no one in New York suffered unnecessarily for the damage that had been caused by a situation completely and utterly out of their own control. 

The crisis was a serious one and unfolding still. 

The rescue efforts were continuing and the Foundation was already working with the New York Fire Department, the Mayor's Office and the New York Police Department to get their sensors and specialised equipment out to the scenes. 

She would have to check on how the deployment was going when the press conference is over, Pepper thinks as she looks over at the four men that will be at the centre of the press conference. 

The nerves are obvious on Bruce Banner's face. She's not surprised. Thor and Loki are both gods and they are both princes. Being at the centre of attention is something that they were used to and in fact, most likely, took for granted. They were used to being watched, admired and lauded. 

Tony? Well, he grew up in the spotlight, so he too was used to it and comfortable with it. But Dr Banner, not so much. He'd received some fame in the science world some time ago from what she'd been able to see. But he's never been in the spotlight like what this was going to be before and the attention he'd had since the accident that created the Hulk hasn't been very positive. 

She can understand his apprehension and she feels sympathy for him as he smiles nervously to Thor as the Norse God pats him a little too solidly on the shoulder. 

Gods. Magic. Aliens. 

How has her world come to this? Pepper wonders briefly. At least Tony and the Iron Man suit made sense. That was science and technology. But Thor? Loki? The Tesseract and the Sceptre and all that stuff? 

That was either science and technology that is so advanced that it looks like magic to them, or it was just pure magic. And considering the conversation she'd had with Clea, she's pretty sure it's the latter. 

Speaking of Clea, it's all too easy for her eyes to turn to where the young blonde stands next to the much taller God of Lies. Pepper still hasn't fully processed what Clea had told her yet. 

It had just been a few hours ago, for one and unlike the gods and Bruce Banner, Clea wasn't a stranger. She was a friend. A close friend. One Pepper loved like the sister that she has never had. And given that, it was difficult to work the idea that Clea Strange was a sorcerer capable of doing things like what Thor and Loki can do. 

Even when Clea had shown her what she could do, Pepper hadn't been able to grasp fully what it all meant. But she had accepted it. Of course she did. How could she not? 

As Tony had told her, the suit didn't change who he was and magic didn't change who Clea and Stephen were. But it did mean that Pepper had to worry a little more. She smiles a little as she thinks that. 

She's honestly glad that she has Jane and Darcy with them. They can gape and worry with her as their hero friends save the world and help them clean up afterwards. Their easy acceptance of her direction to help with the Foundation has been fantastic. 

It wasn’t the work that they were used to, but they wanted to help and Pepper needed the help. Even now, whilst they prepared for the press conference, Jane and Darcy were back at the Tower, working on the Foundation and their resources to do what they can for the people of New York. 

"You alright?" Tony's soft voice and a hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her thoughts as she looks up at him. So caught up she had been in the depths of her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed that he had walked over to her. 

"Yeah. You?" She asks him as she lays a hand over his. His calloused hand feels warm and large against her small and soft ones. He changes his grip so that he can hold her hand in his and there is a warmth to that hold that is comforting and grounding. 

"This is crazy isn't it?" Tony says quietly and Pepper can't help but let out a laugh. It sounds a little hysterical even to her, but it feels good to laugh. 

Two years ago, she thinks, he wouldn't have come over to her just to ask if she was alright. No, that's not true. He would have come over to her, but he would have made an obnoxious comment or a joke to get her to laugh instead of just asking if she was doing alright. 

She had liked that Tony. She had loved that Tony too, but this Tony is... amazing, she thinks as she looks up at his concerned and warm caramel brown eyes. 

"A bit, yeah. God Tony, I need you to tell me that everything is going to be alright. That we will get through this." She tells him and even she can hear the faint pleading in her voice and Tony's hand squeezes hers gently as he moves and leans down to kneel in front of her. 

"You know it will. We have the best people for the job and they are doing their job well. It's not going to be easy but we are going to get through this. I'm Tony fucking Stark, Pep. Don't forget that." He tells her with that wide media smile of his and a wink. 

Pepper can't help the laugh that escapes her, just as she can't help but pull Tony into her arms and hold him tightly. 

"I'm so proud of you Tony. Of the man you've become and you know- All of it. I'm so proud of you." She whispers fiercely into his ear as she holds him as tightly as she can. He holds her just as tightly back as he buries his head in her shoulder. 

"But if you ever. Ever. Fucking do that to me again, I am going to kill you myself. Do you hear me?" She asks him just as fiercely and it's his turn to laugh. His shoulders shake and his laugh reverberates through her chest. 

They hold each other for a while longer. 

They had been so busy dealing with the upcoming press conference that they hadn't been able to have this moment of quiet to just comfort each other and Pepper hadn't realised until just now how much she had needed it. 

"I love you Pep." He tells her and she utters those words back to him as he slowly pulls away and smiles at her. Pepper wipes the tears that hadn't quite fallen from her eyes carefully to ensure that she doesn't smudge her makeup. 

She takes a deep breath and stands up with Tony and straightens his suit and tie. She brushes off the imaginary dust from his shoulders and smiles brightly at him. 

Behind Tony, Gina is gathering the others. It's time. Pepper looks Tony straight in the eyes and she feels herself smiling wider as the words come to her. 

"Knock them dead, Mr Stark. I will be watching." She tells him and Tony's eyes widen with surprise for a moment before he lets out a truly joyous laugh. 

"You got it, Ms Potts." He tells her with a wink and straightens his shoulders as he moves. Pepper watches him go to join the others. 

In a few moments, the words that were going to leave Tony's lips were going to turn the world upside down. In a few words, Tony Stark was going to be seen by the world as a hero and worshipped or hated. Even Gina couldn't tell her how it was going to go. 

But whatever come may, to her, Tony Stark was going to be a hero. She just hopes that the world can see that. 

See that of all of them. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**4 May 2011 **

The clock ticks down the seconds. 

Christine Everhart is acutely aware of the time as it passes by her. She has a deadline to meet and it's the most important deadline of her life. 

Nearby, her cameraman was frantically editing the footage that they have received down to the sound bites that she would need. They have just a few hours to get the hour long press conference down to 10 minutes of easy to consume media. 

Christine almost misses the days of working for Vogue and the late deadlines. But working for a major news network had been her dream and as glamorous as it had been to spend so much time with celebrities and important people, being able to tell the news stories that matter to the world is what really made her feel alive. 

And this? 

This was the biggest story of her life and it was going to be a story that really, truly matters to the world and all it takes is one wrong word and one wrong edit to change the message completely. 

So she has a decision to make. 

The press conference of that morning had been aired live across every single news channel and millions upon millions of people had tuned in to watch Tony Stark introducing some of the members of the Avengers and to go over the alien invasion that had poured out from the skies over New York. 

But it will be the evening news and the distilled version of the press conference and the analysis of it that will truly set the tone and the message of the press conference firmly in the psyche of the world. 

And it was up to those like her to make the decision about what the narrative was going to be. It was going to influence the views of millions upon millions of people. Christine knew that. 

In a way, Christine was grateful for the tight deadline and turn around for the story and the relationship she has built with her bosses. Because Christine doesn't plan to go with the narrative that was out there so far and she was fairly certain that she wasn't going to be the only journalist to stick their necks out. 

Because Tony Stark was right. 

Christine turns her head to look over to the screen where Jamie was doing his editing. There, she watches as Tony speaks. 

"It's simple. We have told you our story and gave you our views and beliefs. It is now up to you, the journalists in this room to decide what the story should be. Whether you can see Loki as a villain that deserves to be punished and settle into the false sense of safety or accept that he is a victim of mind control and manipulation and that there are powerful forces outside of the world that we know that can be coming for us." Tony says, his voice confident and firm. 

Tony Stark's natural charisma stirs the inspiration within her. 

This is what he had said after the press conference had been over. When most of the cameras had been turned off. But Jamie never turned cameras off early and she was grateful that he didn't on this occasion either. 

"In that too, you have a decision to make. Will you encourage the fear mongering and drive humanity down a path of fearing contact with beings like Thor and Loki, or will you encourage humanity to grow and to prepare ourselves to enter the universe." Christine remembers hearing those words the first time in that conference room. 

A chill had gone down her spine as she realised what Tony Stark was saying through his words. The silence had been audible in the room as each journalist took a moment to look into themselves. 

"I'm not a journalist but I am a businessman and I know which way that businesses would want this story to go. And news media is a business too. So I get it. You're going to have pressures. But this is it. This moment. This is where the world is going to change and you have the power to influence which direction humanity goes. So. Make your decisions." Tony had said. 

And in that moment, Christine had never felt so powerful _ and _ powerless as a journalist. Tony was right. There was business interests involved in the news. It influenced what news got to be told, how it got to be told and who it was told about. 

Advertisers, governments and the media in general all had conflicting interests to work with and the direction the live news had been going and the 'analysis' that had been ongoing of the official footage released so far had been clear. 

"You sure about this Christie?" Jamie asks her and she isn't. She really isn't. It's taken her a lot of hard work to get to where she was and if this story goes out the way that she plans it to, then there was a good chance that she would lose her job. 

But she can't stop herself from nodding. 

It would be so easy to bend to the pressure. To justify it to herself as survival. To tell herself that she was just doing what the others were already doing. But she can't. 

As a little girl, when she embarked on the path to become a journalist and dreamt of sitting at the desk in the newsroom, she had done it because she had wanted to tell the world the truth. To be a positive influence upon the world and this was her best chance to do exactly that. 

To have the most impact. 

And if she fucked this up, if she let this opportunity go, she was going to regret it. For the rest of her life. Her job wasn't worth losing respect for herself. She takes a deep breath. 

"Yeah Jamie. I'm sure. Let's do this." She tells him and he looks at her for a long moment. He knows what's at stake. It wasn't just her job that she was risking with this. Jamie is her cameraman. She had brought him with her. 

For a moment, he is silent before he lets out a breath and nods back to her. 

"Yeah. You're right. Fuck Christie, this is either going to win us a Pulitzer or get us blacklisted. You know that right?" Jamie asks her and she nods. She knows. They all do. 

But her phone is buzzing with messages from her contacts and colleagues. For too long, they have sat by and let the network dictate the news that they tell. For too long, they have let their integrity slide. 

It's time that they stand up and do the right thing, no matter what the cost may be. The Avengers have stood up to an alien invasion to do just that. Save the world and protect the people the best that they could because it was the right thing to do. 

It's time that they repay the favour. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**4 May 2011 **

It's Star Wars fucking day. 

And again, they weren't watching Star Wars. But at least this time, he does have his friends with him, Tony thinks, even if Stephen isn't here with him. 

They are gathered in the living room of Pepper's apartment. Tony hadn't wanted to open up his Penthouse to everyone just in case Stephen wanted to come home. 

Magic might be a known quantity and Pepper, Thor and Loki knew about Stephen and his magic, but Tony wasn't ready to reveal the most important person in his life to Bruce, Jane or Darcy just yet. 

He liked them well enough, but he didn't trust them fully yet. Eventually, they will meet him and Stephen can decide what they get to know. Tony wasn't going to make the decision on behalf of his lover in his absence. 

So Pepper had opened up her apartment instead. It was one of the bigger ones and designed by her for herself so the apartment was warm, cosy and comfortable. 

They are seated around the large TV screen, lounging about the sofas, the floor on cushions and the like. 

They might be new to each other, but there is a certain easy camaraderie that has risen from their shared circumstances and understandings. 

More importantly, after the days that they have had, it seemed that no one wanted to be alone. 

Jane, Tony had found, was easy to talk to. Her scientific mind and intelligence made it all too easy for him and Bruce to talk to her and to fall into the rabbit hole of science. Darcy, it turned out was hilarious and Tony was almost afraid of what was going to happen when Darcy and Clea hit it off. 

Thor's warm and friendly personality made it difficult not to like him, even if he was the opposite of everything that Tony was. Tony has a feeling that if Thor really wanted someone to like him, there was very little anyone can do to avoid doing exactly that. 

Thor sits, entwined with Jane on one side and Darcy on the other on the big sofa. Pepper sits next to him in the loveseat, her feet on his lap so that he can massage her feet after a day spent in high heels. 

Tony can't help but feel grateful for Pepper and the work that she has been able to do. Whilst he had rested with Stephen and sought comfort, she had worked. 

She had gotten the Foundation and the support that New York needed organised. She had rallied the PR team and the legal team. She had made sure that SI could continue to function with Tony mostly out of the picture for the time being. 

There was a lot more work that needed doing, but for now, they have done what they can. Tomorrow, their work will begin properly but for today, they needed this break. 

Clea is curled up beneath them on the floor working on her tablet. Which had surprised him. He had expected her to return to the Sanctum, but she had told him that for now, her place was with him and Pepper. He had a feeling that it had something to do with the truth that she had revealed about herself to Pepper and her insecurity about their relationship, but he doesn't comment and neither does Pepper. 

Bruce sits near Jane and it's nice to see him relaxed as he and Jane talk quietly about quantum physics. Tony doesn't join the conversation. 

His eyes are laser focused on Loki, who sits by himself quietly in the corner of the room, looking out into the New York skyline. 

The tension in his shoulders is obvious. 

Tony's phone has not stopped ringing from various government representatives, agencies and SHIELD. Tony has instructed JARVIS to put them all through to the answering machine that he had no intention of listening to.

Tony didn't need to listen to the calls to know what it was about. There was a reason why they were holed up in the Tower. That was the reason why the Tower's security staff were on full alert and the Tower was locked down. 

"To discuss the press conference given by Tony Stark, otherwise known as Iron Man, let us talk to Christine Everhart, who was present this morning." The newscaster says as the volume is increased. 

This isn't the first news story they were watching about themselves and it was also the last thing that Tony wanted to be doing, but it was important. Important enough that he couldn't excuse himself and run off to his workshop to think and to clear his head. 

Downstairs, the PR team was still going strong. So was the legal team. The PR team was working on real time analysis of all the news stories that were being released in print, online and through social media as well as the traditional news media to gauge where the public opinion was going to go. 

The legal team was working on the issue of Loki's mental state, his role in the invasion and how to handle the situation if the pressure grows for Loki to be arrested and charged as a war criminal. If that were to occur, Tony knew that everyone in this room could also be facing charges as accessories after the fact for harbouring Loki. 

Tony can only hope that the legal team can come up with a solution. He's pretty sure he'd look terrible in orange. 

But whether that push comes to shove depends on journalists like Christine. As someone that has lived his entire life in the spotlight of the media, Tony knows all too well just how powerful public opinion can be on government policies and stances. 

That's why he had implored the media to decide the way that they were going to show this story. That is why he hadn't spared any of the details during the press conference. 

It had been one of the most exhausting experiences in his life, but Tony and the others had gotten the story to the media. Now, all they can do is wait for the decision of the journalists. 

Tony focuses his attention as Christine sits down and the camera focuses on her as she takes a deep breath and begins to talk. 

"Before I provide an analysis of the press conference and a summary of the incident, we have some exclusive footage of the press conference that has not been aired that is pertinent." Christine says and on her cue, the video plays. 

As he watches, Tony doesn't need the PR team to tell him how the public opinion was going to go. 

The tide was turning. 

~~~ 


	5. The Hero of New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has saved New York. 
> 
> That, the world has acknowledged. But he has done more than that by ensuring that through the press conference, he can also save the world. From their panic and from their hate. 
> 
> So he deserves a reward right? 
> 
> Well, luckily for him, Stephen is more than willing to provide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you. 
> 
> That's what I'm going to start today with. As I said yesterday, I'm not feeling well. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. But waking up to see all the wonderful comments have very much made it easier for me to get out of bed. 
> 
> So thank you. 
> 
> Luckily, I have a backlog of chapters. I have been experiencing a bit of a block but I think it's been resolved now so I will be able to finish off 9 and 10 that I have been wrestling with. Up to 8 has been written and edited. 
> 
> So I will get my ass in gear to make sure that I can repay you for all the support and love you have been giving me. 
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 
> 
> <3 
> 
> Kira

**Wednesday**

**4 May 2011 **

It's finally quiet. 

Stephen stands in his quarters in Kamar-Taj , alone for the first time in what feels like days and without the concerns of the Order hanging over his head. 

The quiet and the calm isn't going to last. 

The rescue efforts are slowing down. There are very little life signs left and though members of the Order were working within the police, the fire department and the EMTs to do what they can, there are now very  few lives that they can save. 

Yinn is still coordinating them with the Cup of Jamshid, which was deigning to be used by others for the time being, which is good because Stephen isn't sure if he has to heart to wield it just at the moment. 

The drain that had hit him and crippled him along with the pain still lingers and it makes it all the more difficult for him to deal with the emotional turmoil inside of his mind. 

Stephen longs for the quiet days with Tony. 

Just the two of them, working in the lab on one project or another. That calm, that quiet with the distractions that kept the disquieting thoughts inside of his mind silent is something that he desperately needs and wants but can't have. 

Not at the moment. 

Inside of his head, the list of names continue to scroll. The names of the Members that died whilst doing what they  could to save the people of New York. That is on him. 

He has made the call to involve the Order in the invasion of New York. He still believes that it was the right call, but it doesn't make their deaths any easier to bear. 

Stephen can't help but think that perhaps he should have made a different call. Or perhaps he could have planned things better, protected his people better. 

Hindsight is always,  _ always _ 20/20. 

Both of the Connections are quiet. It's late in New York and both Tony and Loki has had an exhausting day. Not physically, but most definitely emotionally and psychologically. 

Stephen wishes that he could have been there for them. That he could have stood behind the media and let them know that he was there and that he was proud of what they were doing. 

But he hadn't been able to. 

He had his own responsibilities and with the Order stretched thin across the board and various Masters and members of the Council involved in still holding the spells up so that the rescue efforts can be conducted safely, Stephen had needed to do his job. 

Despite that, he  _ has _ taken the time to watch some of the conference at least, live as  it had occurred. 

It had been impossible not to when he could feel the flood of pain and anguish from the Bond with Loki. The God of Mischief has put on a good front during the press conference. 

But his pain had been raw and overwhelming. 

Stephen had watched, gritting his teeth against the pain as Loki had spoken with a quiet and commanding voice. Loki hadn't talked about the fall. But he had talked about ending up in Thanos's hands. About the torture that he suffered through. 

As quiet and as calm Loki's voice was and how he kept his emotions off his face, unwilling to show weakness, it was impossible not to see that he was suffering. That he was in pain. That he was broken and he was barely holding himself together. 

Seeing that pain, hearing that pain and  _ feeling _ that pain, it had been a near impossible task for Stephen not to portal over to  New York then and there and take the god into his arms and offer him comfort. 

But two things had held him back. One was the more practical reason. The world may know about magic, but it wasn't yet time for the Order to reveal themselves and certainly not time for him to reveal himself as the Sorcerer Supreme. 

The Connection that the three of them shared and what he was made them their own vulnerability and weakness. A point of manipulation and they all had too many enemies to make such connections obvious to the world. 

The other was the deep seated fear inside of Stephen that lingers and claws and refuses to free him.

Stephen knows that psychological trauma is not that easy to get rid of. He knows only too well that when he had felt that fear for the first time in the clearing, something inside of him had fundamentally changed. 

For the first time in his life, Stephen had seen himself as a victim. 

His accidents, the other injuries that he's managed to obtain, the incident with Dormammu had all been... traumatic too. But in all of them, he had either been the instigator of the incident, or he had walked into the situations aware of what he was going to be facing. 

With Loki and what he faced in the clearing with the god, there had been no forewarning. No awareness that he might be dealing with a situation that he himself as Stephen or as the Sorcerer Supreme couldn't deal with. 

The sense of helplessness and the fear of being victimised in a way that he hasn't been able to think of before and rationalise and accept had been too much. 

The scar that it had left behind had been difficult to deal with and it's only with Tony and with the fact that Tony was his Connected and thus someone he trusted implicitly, that Stephen has been able to deal with it so far and start to heal. 

Even then, by the time that Stuttgart had taken place, Stephen hadn't fully healed his trauma. In fact, he wasn't sure if there was such a thing as being fully healed from any trauma. Either way, what had happened then with Loki had only compounded on his fear and had made the situation far, far worse. 

It... had broken Stephen a lot more than he was willing to admit. 

Yes, with the safety that being in Tony's arms gives him and his inability to watch another suffer and the warring nature of the Connection and the Bond telling him to trust Loki despite it all, he had been able to reach out a hand to the god. 

To draw him to the bed and to offer him comfort. 

But Stephen wasn't sure if that was a feat that he could repeat. Hence the rules, Stephen thinks as he looks out into the calm night skies  of Kamar-Taj . 

The skies are clearer in Nepal. Less of the night pollution and well, less of the pollution full stop. It allows him to clearly look out into the skies and to see the stars and let the calm, stillness of the night calm and still his heart. 

Stephen was forever going to be grateful for Tony and his understanding. 

When they had woken up in the morning, Stephen had seen and felt Tony's surprise, but the genius had only blinked, nodded and laid back down and pulled Stephen closer to himself before sighing and starting to talk. 

It had been a short and sweet conversation and Loki had listened whilst all Stephen did was lay there, amazed at the care and concern that Tony showed. 

It wasn't that decisions were made without his say so, of course not, Tony valued his views and more importantly, understood the need for them to be independent of each other just as they are reliant on each other. 

But the rules that Tony had suggested had been made with Stephen in mind and they had been suggested through love, care and consideration and Stephen can't help but love Tony even more, if such a thing was even possible. 

That thought and that desire makes Stephen's hands itch. The trembling scarred hands hesitate even as the magic that the Sanctum had poured into him vibrate inside of him, demanding to be used in any way that he wants to direct it. 

The business at Kamar-Taj is done for now. No one would fault him for leaving his post for a short period of time. Tony would be asleep and he is from what Stephen can gather from the Connection. 

Loki would feel it, the moment that Stephen's magic appears in the Tower, but the god won't interfere or join them. 

The Penthouse was off limits to Loki unless he is invited by either of them. That was one of the rules. 

Stephen bites his lips. 

It's not fair on Loki. He knows that. He knows that it's not fair that Loki is thrust into a situation where he has to watch the two of them being in love and in a relationship and to feel their love and their lust and their arousal without being able to touch or to be a part of any of that. 

The god has already suffered so much and it's not fair. In his head, Stephen knows that. In his heart, he knows that. But the fear and the primal instinct to protect himself wants nothing to do with Loki, even as his soul demands for him to let Loki into his life as completely as he has let Tony. 

It's a conflict deep inside of him that Stephen knows will continue for some time. It would be cruel for him to flaunt Tony and his close relationship whilst he keeps the god at a distance. But right now... he  _ needs _ Tony. 

There is a darkness inside of his mind that he knows will claw at him and take him and drag him into the deep depths of depression and right now, the only thing that can hold him back from falling is Tony. 

Stephen opens the portal and steps through. 

The Tower is quiet and dark. The Penthouse has been repaired, mostly. The windows have been at least though the large gap in the floor has not been. 

The concrete bits have been cleared up, but the hole remains where Loki has been- yeah. Let's not think about that, Stephen thinks as he takes a deep breath and looks away from the hole and the memories of pain that it conjures within him. 

Instead, Stephen shrugs the Cloak of Levitation off of his shoulders and makes his way towards the bedroom. The Cloak follows him slowly, curiously looking around this new environment as he goes. He shouldn't have brought it here, Stephen thinks, but at the same time, he had needed the comfort of it's presence. 

With Clea being busy with Pepper, Wong and Yinn busy with Order work and at the New York Sanctum, Grimshaw at the hospital, Anderson and Cowell in London trying to wrangle the support they needed to get extra funding organised to help out the New York rescue efforts, Stephen had been... alone and busy. 

And that had probably been the last thing he had needed with his fragile frame of mind. 

Stephen goes down the stairs to the portion of the Penthouse that had been designed for him. That's where he can sense Tony's presence. It doesn't surprise him that Tony has chosen to go to sleep there. 

It was a more secure location for one, considering the fact that the bedroom wasn't so exposed and open as the one in the main Penthouse was and for another, Stephen likes to think, the environment reminds Tony of him. 

And apparently he had hit the nail right on the head. 

When Stephen reaches the bedroom and sees the sight before him, Stephen can't breathe. 

Tony lays on top of the covers, not even underneath them, with one of Stephen's shirts instead of his own and holding Stephen's pillow tightly against his chest, his face half buried in the feathery pillow. 

There are no lights in the room. But the soft glow of New York city lights along with the Arc Reactor gives Stephen just enough light to see Tony's peaceful face as he sleeps. 

Something inside of Stephen loosens as he feels his shoulders drop and the true calm and relaxation hits him. 

He makes his way slowly over to the bed and lays himself on the bed, facing Tony and with his trembling hand, gently reach over to caress his lover's face. 

All the heartache and pain that his day had brought him seems to melt away in that moment and Stephen feels like he can finally breathe again. 

For a long moment, he just lays there, his hand stroking Tony's face, his eyes capturing every single little detail of Tony's visage before a calloused hand wraps around his gently and brings his hand down to the genius's lips. 

Soft lips kiss the palm of his hand. It's such a tender and loving gesture that the quick action of Tony pulling hard at him and turning at the same time so that Stephen ends up half sprawled on top of him, catches him completely by surprise. 

"Hey there stranger." Tony says without even opening his eyes as he pulls Stephen tightly against him and Stephen can feel the half hard cock against his stomach. So caught up in his thoughts and in the moment, Stephen had apparently not noticed his lover waking up. 

"Hey yourself." Stephen says as he lifts himself up just a little so that he can adjust his position above his lover so that he can kiss him. 

The kiss is slowly and languid. Sensual. 

"Did you hear the news baby?" Tony asks when they pull away, even as he begins to rut softly against Stephen, his erection only growing even as that encourages Stephen's own arousal. 

This time, Stephen does slam down on the shields to keep Loki out of the proceedings. It's cruel to do otherwise. 

"I did. You were... magnificent." Stephen tells him as he kisses Tony again. This time, the kiss is a little more firm. A little more demanding. Tony smiles against the kiss. 

"Yeah well, I'm apparently the hero of New York and the United Nations have rescinded the order for Loki to be arrested as a war criminal. According to Gina, I pulled off the impossible." Tony says and though there is a play at arrogance in his tone, Stephen can see the relief instead. 

"I never expected anything less from you dearest." Stephen tells him as he slowly kisses his way down Tony's neck. 

"Y-Yeah well, I think I deserve a prize for doing something so impossible, don't I?" Tony asks him and Stephen looks up to see the smirk on his lover's face and he can't help but smile as he gets what Tony was trying to say. 

"Oh I see, and just what would Iron Man, the hero of New York want as his prize?" Stephen ask him as Tony's hand travels from Stephen's neck, down his chest over the thick robes that he is wearing to where his hardening cock was. 

"You." Tony says with that heat of lust flashing in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. Stephen chuckles before he nods. 

"Your wish, my command." Stephen tells him as he kisses his way down Tony's neck but doesn't strip him of the light linen shirt. He does hike the shirt up a little so that he can lay his kisses upon Tony's stomach and lick his way down the happy trail to his sleep pants and underwear. 

Those he does strip Tony of , as he feels the intense caramel brown eyes lingering over him as he does. 

"I missed you, you know." Tony says softly as he moves the pillow he had been hugging to under his head so that he can look down on what Stephen is doing. Stephen hums his response against Tony's inner thigh as he mouths at the flesh there. 

"The whole fucking day. At the press conference, after it, then the infernal wait for the media. Through all of it, I missed you." Tony tells him. Stephen looks up at that and crawls back up to Tony so that he can kiss the genius and his wonderful lips. 

This honest, expressive Tony is still new and fresh and so very impossible on Stephen's heart. He kisses Tony with all the words that he doesn't know how to say. As they kiss, Tony reaches into the bedside table, grabs the lube and pushes it into Stephen's trembling hands. 

But when Tony feels how bad Stephen's hands are trembling, he stops and is about to take the bottle back, no doubt to prep himself, but Stephen stops him. 

"Do you trust me Anthony?" Stephen asks and Tony looks at him, head cocking to the side, curiosity and trust obvious in his eyes. 

"Of course." Is Tony's response. Stephen keeps his eyes firmly on his lover as he moves his hands and the magic that has been itching under his skin. It is all too easy to conjure the clone that appears out from behind him, naked and with hands that were steady unlike his own. 

"Holy mother fucking shit!" Tony exclaims as he sits up  in the bed, watching as the clone stands next to Stephen. 

Unlike his other clones that move according to a pre-planned program, this one simply waits until the command is given. In the light provided by New York City and the Arc Reactor, Stephen can see Tony's caramel brown eyes wide open as he looks the clone up and down. 

The surprise lingers, as does no doubt the shock of seeing magic being displayed like this, but with it is arousal and the fear that Stephen had worried would show doesn't manifest itself. Instead, Tony swallows hard as Stephen gestures for the clone of himself to move closer. 

"Are you serious?" Tony asks and for a moment, the incredulous nature of the tone and the way that Tony turns his eyes to look at Stephen measuringly shakes the confidence that he had and Stephen sits back on his  heels, wondering if he has made a mistake. 

"If you don't want this I can-" Stephen moves his hand to dismiss the clone, concern that he may have pushed the envelope too fast hitting him, but Tony grabs his hand to stop him and smiles widely. 

"We could have been having kinky magical sex all this time and you hid this from me? Oh Stephen, I'm so disappointed." Tony says but there is delight in his tone as he turns back to the clone and reaches out the hand he wasn't using to hold Stephen's. 

"Oh." Is all that Stephen can manage as he gestures for the clone to move towards Tony so that the genius can explore a copy of his body and Tony does. 

He looks the clone up and down and runs his hand along the clone's body. Stephen shivers lightly as he can feel the faint touch along his own skin. It is a version of himself after all and a manifestation of his magic. The touch isn't firm against his own skin as it is on the clone's body, but he can feel a shadow of it and it feels... amazing. 

Tony pulls the clone into the bed with them and it does, compliant and moving as requested with only faint instructions needed from Stephen. 

The clone settles onto the bed and Tony kisses it firmly and Stephen can't help but let out a moan as he curls into himself, the pleasure shooting straight into his spine. 

He has never had the experience of having another touch one of his clones like this. As Tony hears the moan, Stephen watches as Tony's eyes widen even further before a wicked look enters his eyes. 

Tony pushes the clone aside and pulls Stephen up so that he can lay on top of Tony and kisses him. 

"Stephen, baby, how much control do you have over that?" Tony asks and Stephen gives him a soft smile. 

"Complete and control. It's a manifestation of my magic. My intentions and thoughts made physical. I can give it instructions and it will follow to the letter." Stephen tells him and Tony swallows hard as his eyes completely dilate. Tony scrambles and grabs the lube off the bed and pushes it firmly into the clone's hand. 

"Good." Tony says before he whispers exactly what he wants into Stephen's ear. As he does, Stephen shudders with both the sensation of Tony's lips so close to his ear as well as the fantastical thoughts that Tony was pushing into his mind. 

"Yeah. Yeah. We-We can do that." Stephen all but moans out as Tony's hands begin to roam over his body. It takes more focus than it really should, but Stephen manages to move his hands and get the instructions set into the clone as he settles against the genius and with a wave of his hands, disappears his clothes. 

"Later, you and I are going to talk about all the magic you can use in the bedroom. Because that? That was fucking hot." Tony says as he grabs at Stephen's now naked buttocks and pulls him hard against himself.

Both of them let out a loud moan as their erections  touch . The heady arousal is only increased by the fact that Stephen was channelling magic, manifesting it. Like all sorcerers, there was always a bit of  a rush when it came to that. 

The clone moves as it had been directed to. 

It slips behind the two of them and with steady hands, positions Stephen so that he is firmly straddling Tony and crouched over him as they desperately kiss each other. Tony's legs are raised to expose him and with synchronised and easy movements, the clone's fingers enter both of them. 

They moan simultaneously as they arch into the touches. The  slicked fingers fuck into them slowly and steadily as they rut against each other, their cocks hard and heavy against each other and on each other's stomachs. 

It feels good. It feels better than good. Sharing this part of him, his magic and his sexual explorations with Tony is something that Stephen had only dreamt of. In fact, it feels like a dream. A very, very , good dream. 

By the time that they are both opened and dripping with the liberal amounts of lube, they are desperate for more. Their hearts are beating fast, their shared breathes are more pants than actual breaths that they breathe into each other and steal with  their kisses. 

"Oh God, Steph, I- Please!" Tony begs him and Stephen twists his hands again to instruct the clone even as he himself moves. He moves off of Tony so that he can lift the genius's legs over his shoulders and in a smooth thrust, enter him and fill him completely. 

Tony is wet enough and loose enough and it's just perfect. Tony's shout echoes through the bedroom and Stephen has just enough time to bend down and move to kiss his lover before he is throwing his own head back, crying out as the clone's cock, a copy of his own, fucks into him. 

This is going to be far, far too much, Stephen thinks even as he loses himself in the pleasure. 

With his last moment of clarity of thought and focus, Stephen pushes the magic that the clone was going to need to stay around till the end into the construct. Because he had a feeling, soon enough, he wasn't going to be able to focus enough on anything. 

He was right. 

The clone moves them both. As it fucks into Stephen, he is pushed into Tony and it's all too natural to move his hips between the two of them, giving and receiving at the same time. The desperate, sloppy kisses that he shares with Tony are punctured with cries until Stephen can't hold himself up anymore. 

He hides his sweaty head against the crook of Tony's neck as the clone starts to move faster and faster inside of him. Stephen can't focus. Luckily, he isn't so filled with magic now that it manifests itself in the bedroom like it had at the Sanctum, but the temptation is there. 

The itch is there as it always is. 

Stephen can't keep up with his rhythm and he almost feels bad that he can't bring Tony to his climax with him, but it's too much. Stephen can feel both the drag of his cock in Tony as the clone's movements move him shallowly in and out of Tony, the feel of the clone fucking into him and the shadowy pleasure of his own hole closing around the clone's cock. 

It's an assault on his senses unlike anything else he had ever felt before. 

Tony kisses his forehead and holds him tightly and runs soothing hands up and down his spine as the genius's eyes watch the facsimile of Stephen fucking well... Stephen. 

When he comes, Stephen bites into Tony's shoulder, just hard enough to stop himself from screaming but not hard enough to break skin. The genius moans and tightens around him. 

Stephen fills Tony with his spending and the genius moans as he feels the heat of Stephen’s cum spilling inside of him, but the clone doesn't leave anything behind as it sees to the end of his orgasm before pulling out. For a long moment, Tony just holds him and murmurs soft sweet nothings into his ear as Stephen tries to breathe. 

"Okay, that has got to be the hottest fucking thing I have ever seen before. And if you really love me, we are doing that again. A lot." Tony tells him and Stephen manages a chuckle once he can breathe. 

With a soft kiss, Stephen slips his softening cock out of Tony and the genius lets out a soft moan that's almost a sigh. His hands never leave Stephen's body as Tony helps him to lie down on the bed next to him. 

For long moments, Tony turns to him and kisses him gently and runs calming hands up and down Stephen's body as he helps Stephen calm down from the way that the pleasure had overwhelmed him. 

It's only when Stephen is calm and breathing softly as he kisses Tony that he remembers that Tony hadn't come yet and that the clone was seated calmly on it's heels waiting. 

Oh. 

"I've neglected you, dearest." Stephen says softly against Tony's ear as he runs a hand down Tony's chest over the linen shirt and then to the abs wet with Tony's own pre-cum and a thin layer of sweat. 

"I don't feel very neglected." Tony tells him as he continues to kiss him. Even as he does, Stephen keeps his eyes open and focuses on the clone. It's hard in the afterglow to truly focus well, but this wasn't Stephen's first time with a clone. 

A twist of his fingers, strong intentions and a flourish of magic gets the job done. The clone moves and even as they are kissing each other,  swallows Tony's cock down. The surprised gasp that comes from Tony, Stephen swallows with some delight. 

"Shit! Oh! Stephen! Fuck!" Tony cries out as the clone takes him all the way down to the root. The clone isn't like Stephen. It doesn't need to breathe. It really doesn't have a gag reflex and Stephen knows what Tony likes. With little wriggles of his fingers, he orchestrates the clone. 

It is... far hotter than it should be, to watch a version of himself sucking Tony's cock down, eyes barely open, lips stretched and throat bulging. Stephen instructs the clone to add his hands and fingers to the equation and when the clone's slender and steady fingers enter Tony and start to stroke his prostate, the genius, who had already been close, comes hard with a shout. 

The clone cleans up. 

It swallows every single drop of the seed that Tony releases, licks the mess off of Tony's stomach before it disappears in a flurry of orange sparks and blue butterflies. 

"Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. A lot. And that." Tony rambles as he lazily grabs Stephen's head and kisses him. 

In the afterglow, as they curl up with each other and kiss lazily and run soft calming hands along each other's bodies, the troubles of the world seems far away and it's what they both need. 

"So doc, if I ever tell you to  go fuck yourself, is that what I'm gonna get to see?" Tony asks, mirth sparkling in his eyes. Stephen laughs as he pulls the genius firmly into his arms and kisses his forehead. 

"You'll have to find out." He tells Tony. 

The joy in his heart at having shared something that he had almost been afraid his lover would reject and having it accepted and then the delight it had been to share this with him is... wonderful. That warmth in his heart, Stephen does share with Loki. 

The god can use some of their happiness. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**5 May 2011 **

Loki blinks at the situation in front of him. 

When Tony had asked what he was willing to help out with the city and the rebuilding, Loki had said anything. 

This isn't quite what he had in mind. 

Not that he could fault the man for the genius that is the concept and the execution of his plans. Or the work and plans of his employees. 

Pepper, the red haired woman that was far too close to Tony for his liking, the CEO of Stark Industries, was good at her job. In the morning, once it had become clear that the public opinion had turned against the calling for fear and hate, Pepper had laid out the plan for the day. Or rather, for the days to come. 

She was quite efficient in the matter too, as was Clea, who seemed to be working with her. 

Loki is glad that through the Sceptre, he has been able to see Clint Barton's mind and was able to understand Earth in ways that it was clear that Thor still struggled to grasp. 

It made it easy for Loki to know what was happening, how the situation was being handled and what he would need to do to earn the trust and forgiveness of the population of the planet. 

And forgiveness, he needs. 

He wouldn't have fought against it, had the populace demanded that he be placed in chains and put through their trials. He would be borne the punishments handed to him. He would have let Thor drag him to Asgard in chains, if that is what the people of Earth desired. 

He had sinned against them and those sins needs to be repaid, regardless of whether or not he was influenced by the Sceptre. 

But he is grateful that Tony had fought on his behalf. Implored those that held sway in the court of public opinion to absolve him for his sins. To allow him to be judged by his actions from this point on , rather than his past actions under the Sceptre and the Other's influence. 

Back at the Tower, Darcy, Pepper, Jane and Clea were working with the people of the Foundation, a charity that Tony ran  in memory of his mother, to allocate resources and to see to the needs of the victims. 

They were also dealing  with the various governments involved with the United Nations , who had requested that the Avengers, including Thor and Loki himself, attend their General Assembly to brief them on the situation at hand. 

Then to the Security Council, a separate arm of the United Nations, according to Darcy's animated explanation, to brief them on the threat of Thanos. That was a tidbit that Tony had not  yet revealed to the world. 

Naming and outlining the true threat that will be coming to the Nine Realms required delicate handling, after all. Thor and he had talked at  length about the diplomatic options. 

Despite his 'fall', Loki has not been stripped in Asgard of his position as Prince and diplomat. Furthermore, as Thor had told him of Laufey and the relationship that Frigga has fostered with him, it appeared that he held a position of power there also. 

It allowed them a good platform from which they could work to build a diplomatic relationship with Earth for the Nine Realms. 

Loki wasn't quite sure how he felt about what he had heard of Laufey and his people from Thor under the heavy shields Thor had insisted on to ensure that Odin could not hear their conversations. 

It's difficult to fathom that a father that he does not know, a father that has claim to that title by the mere biological connection, loves him and cares for him despite the fact that they don't even know each other, when a father that he had been taught by and raised by despised his very existence. 

But Thor's words had been earnest and Loki knew him well enough to believe them. 

That is something he will have to think on later. Something that he will have to discuss with Hel and Laufey himself when they are ready to travel back to Asgard. 

The Tesseract is still their only means of returning to Asgard. Loki is not willing to show Odin his powers to be able to walk between the realms. Besides, the cost of using such a technique with another being travelling with him is high and Loki knows that it would weaken him far, far too much to deal with Asgardians thereafter. 

And he cannot  know what the effects would be on Stephen and that is a risk that Loki is unwilling to take. 

Tony is in his Iron Man suit, lifting heavy bits of concrete and rebar as they work to help clear the debris field that has become the streets of New York. Before they can rebuild, they need to clear the debris. 

Though humans were well capable of doing so with their machines and engineering skills, they can't do it as quickly as those like them could. 

As Thor had said, if they had to rebuild this city brick by brick to repay the debt, then so be it. The Tesseract was left on Earth by Odin to hide it from the universe. He had deemed it too dangerous and tempting to house so many artefacts of great power in Asgard itself and had spread them out through the Nine Realms. 

It is Odin that has put Earth at risk to begin with. 

It is how they had come to the planet in the first place for the people of Earth to start believing in them as gods and to spread the myths. 

And that has brought Earth to the attention of the Kree at one point and for another, Thanos and his forces. 

It is not only Loki that needed to repay his debts to Earth, but as Thor had put it, himself. It had been Thor that had entrusted the Vikings with the Tesseract and for that, his brother had claimed, he will do what he can to fix the damage caused by his actions. 

But they both knew who the original blame lay upon. 

It does warm his heart to know that Thor still loves him. That his brother's love and care for him has only become stronger despite the distance and time. Thor's apology, when it was uttered, had been genuine and heartfelt. Loki hadn't responded to it, but they both had known that Loki had forgiven him. 

"Hey! You gonna help out or what?" Tony shouts from his position lightly over the debris, no doubt his helmet and the artificial intelligence contained therein, running the calculations to assess the best angles to remove the debris as he talks. 

His Soulmate's voice is distorted by the mechanical sounds of the microphone, but it sounds like Tony enough and Loki cannot help but respond. 

"I was merely waiting for your instructions, Anthony." Loki says back and Tony shrugs his shoulders as he points a finger and Loki nods as he moves. 

The clothes that Tony had insisted that he wear, a pair of black jeans paired with one of his own casual green linen shirts is comfortable, easy to move  in and well suited to the weather. Thor was dressed similarly in a red linen shirt. Both had insisted on wearing their own boots. 

Thor works with the humans, lifting the heavy debris with the guidance of the crew already at work whilst Loki works with Tony. It does not surprise Loki to note that his brother has quickly built rapport with the men that he works with. 

The laughter and the easy conversations that Loki can hear from that side of the site reminds Loki of the charm he wishes that he has. It is the one trait of Thor's that he truly envies. 

Tony calculates and breaks apart the debris that must be broken up and Loki ensures that the debris doesn't fall upon the humans or cause damage to surrounding buildings. 

It is all too easy to work with Tony. 

From the moment that he had woken up in the morning, there has been a sense of warmth and wellness at the centre of his being that keeps him focused and grounded. It had kept the nightmares at bay and for that, Loki was grateful. 

And he knows that was a gesture of kindness from Stephen that he does not deserve. Even now, through the Bond with Stephen, Loki can feel the warmth, calm and comfort that wrap him up and prevents his thoughts from entering the darker realms.

It's a gesture that he does not deserve, but Loki swears, it is a gesture that he will earn. The magic floods his body as he pulls power from the Yggdrasil and he feels it flow softly over his fingertips as he slowly moves. 

It's time to work at forgiveness. 

~~~ 


	6. One Step At a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New York has suffered a great deal of damage and trauma. Everyone is trying to pull themselves together and to cope with the scale of what has taken place. 
> 
> Little by little, people are standing up to help, none more than the Avengers of course. But now that the big heroics are done, what can the Avengers do? 
> 
> On the other hand, the process of healing and dealing with trauma start with small steps. And like everyone, Stephen has to take them. One step at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh... I forgot to write an A/N. 
> 
> I am a tad bit high on meds XD 
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind words of support in the last chapter. I'm also going to be very realistic and let you guys know that there might be an update here and there that might not happen on time or at all during a day or so because I have been struggling to get the writing done between the random bits of crying and chatting with the discord server to get my comforts. Which on that note, thank you to everyone on the server who has had to deal with my venting, ranting and general emotional state. 
> 
> So. Fair warning. If an update is skipped, please do not believe that the fic is abandoned. It just means that I either couldn't write anything or I was just having a really bad day and needed to stay in bed. 
> 
> <3 you all and thank you.

**Thursday **

**5 May 2011**

Just a makeshift hospital, his superiors told him. 

Just a cobbled together, makeshift hospital in the Stark Tower, central to where the disaster had taken place. Somewhere they can treat the smaller injuries that don't require surgery, can maintain and look after the populace whilst the overworked hospitals get through the backlog of surgeries. 

Just a makeshift- yeah no. This was not a makeshift hospital. This was a  fully functioning, professional, modern hospital that Josh has no fucking idea how Tony Stark and his team has managed to put together. 

This is at a scale that he most definitely had even imagined when he'd been handed the assignment. 

His eyes are wide with shock and awe as he looks around the immaculate surfaces of the floor, the bright lights in the ceilings, monitors, computers, vital monitor equipment, IV stands, stainless steel trays full of medical equipment, hospital beds and divider curtains. 

The busy flow of nurses moving through squaring everything away, immaculately dressed in scrubs with colourful name tags,  the fully decked out play area for children, the professional reception desk complete with a lovely young man that smiles at him as he walks through? 

This is  _ not _ what a makeshift hospital in a disaster scene looks like. There are no tents, there are no messes. Granted, it hasn't officially opened and it was yet to see a patient, but that's why he was here. 

"Ms Lewis will be with you shortly." The young man sitting at reception says as he pushes a button or swipes or does something on his tablet. 

Agent Joshua Williams of Federal Emergency Management Agency has not felt this bewildered and out of whack since his first outing at a disaster site. 

That was saying something, because back then, he had been green and he's now got five years of experience under his belt working disaster scenes throughout the United States. He'd been there when Harlem had happened and this hadn't been there. 

But then, as ridiculous as it seems, that was a small scale disaster compared to this. FEMA's heads of departments were  racking their brains to try to figure out how they hell they were going to deal with the clean up, with which apparently, Tony Stark was lending some advice. 

Which is also apparently why, he had even been sent here. Because Tony Stark has asked for a favour from the Head of FEMA and right now, given the world's climate and especially given what they have seen of Iron Man's heroics, had quickly been agreed upon. 

The thing is, Josh doesn't buy it. Not really. This is a publicity stunt in his view. Or rather, that had been his view until he had walked into the building. 

Downstairs, there had been registration stations set up for families that needed housing. Apparently, Stark Industries has opened up every single property and available space they had within the Tower, their residential buildings and hell even their factory in order to try to provide as much housing as they can to those that have been displaced. 

There was also a food service running in the foyer, where people that had places to go or to stay but had difficulty in obtaining food as they had been left  penniless  as a result of the incident, could come to get boxes of food for the week or for just the day, if that's what they needed. 

Then there was the medical sign up desk. Where anyone could be seen by the doctors Tony Stark had pulled out of the woodwork, including psychiatrists and plastic surgeons and other specialists. That, Josh had to admit was a good idea. 

It wasn't as if there were any ORs left open for the plastic surgeons to do their jobs and though some of them were still required  for reconstructive surgeries, most of them were left with no work and Tony had tapped into that resource. Same thing with psychiatrists. 

Though when this was all over and the dust blew over, Josh was pretty sure they would be  inundated  with work, for the time being, people  weren't worried about their mental health. They were worrying about survival. So they too could be pulled into this makeshift hospital situation. 

So yeah. By now, Josh knew that this wasn't just a media stunt. For one, there were no media present. Pepper Potts, the CEO of Stark Industries has made a short press release to state that the Stark Tower would be opening their doors and providing the services on the ground and that they would continue to work with the victims through the Maria Stark Foundation, but that had been it. 

The media had been asked to stay away and they, apparently, have complied. There was no need to shove cameras into the faces of the victims that were already suffering difficulties. 

But it was still,  _ seriously _ impressive, both in scale and just how friendly and efficiently everything was being run. 

"Hey! Look, I'm so sorry but we aren't open yet." A young woman with mousy brown hair and thick black framed glasses that looks harried and stressed, all but runs over to him to say. She snaps Josh out of his awe and shock. 

"Oh. I'm not-" He starts to say but the young man at the reception saves him the trouble. 

"He's FEMA." The young man says with an amused smile at the girl. It gives Josh an opportunity to look her over. 

There is a proud little badge hanging from a Stark Industries lanyard that reads 'Darcy - AMA' in bright pink. Her loud t-shirt with a colourful unicorn and tattered jeans doesn't fit into this environment at all and he can't help but wonder how she fits into all this. 

"AMA?" He wonders  out loud and before he can apologise and recover his professionalism, she blinks at him as if she has no idea what he's referring to before she looks down at herself and lets out a short laugh. 

"Yeah. AMAs you know? Ask Me Anything?" The young woman, Darcy, he assumes says with some amusement as he pulls the badge out to identify himself with. The young woman puts her finger to the ear without looking looking at the badge. 

"Oh good. You check out. Agent Joshua Williams from FEMA. Got it. The bossman and boss lady  are  gonna be happy you got here  ‘caus e there's a lot of people waiting." The young woman says and Josh can't help but look around. There were only nursing staff, no patients that he could see. 

"They are all downstairs. After registration, they are sent to a floor to take a shower or to get new clothes if they need it and so forth. We crammed the place with as much entertainment and comfy  sofas as we could manage." The young woman says with a large grin as she fishes out a small box from her pocket and pulls out a tablet from her messenger bag. 

"So, Pep's on her way down to speak to you with Brucie, but until then, that's the earpiece that will connect you to JARVIS, he's the AI that runs the official parts of the building and you can AMA him anything too and the tablet has all the info you need. If you have any questions, ask either pretty boy over here or J or me. But like I'm floating so you might not find me. Is that cool? Good. Bye!" As soon as he has taken the objects she's handed over to him, the young woman hurries off, her eye on the tablet and mumbling under her breath as she goes. 

This is what it must feel like to enter a different dimension, Josh thinks numbly as he looks at the tablet and the small box that lay on top. He looks up at the young man who gives him a smile. 

"That's Ms Lewis for you. I have no idea where she came from, but she has Ms Pott's trust and the run of the place. If you put the earbud in, JARVIS will explain his function to you. But you might want to wait." The young man says and Josh manages a nod this time before he is joined by two faces that he recognises. 

It's impossible to live in New York, or even the world these days, without knowing the face of Pepper Potts. The CEO of Stark Industries and her rise to power is a famous one  and you would have to live under a rock not to recognise her. 

She's more beautiful than he had initially thought from the media footage he had seen of the woman. She wasn't dressed the way that he had seen either. 

Instead of the high powered immaculate and expensive seeming suits, she was dressed in a pair of black jeans, a blouse that seemed almost but not quite formal and more importantly, comfortable. She too had a lanyard around her neck with a name card on it and Josh was willing to bet that it was Darcy that wrote that. It read 'Pepper Potts - Boss Lady'. 

Next to her, the man with the messy brown curls and hunched shoulders as he if was determined to make himself smaller than he really was, stood with cargo pants and a checked shirt. Aside from recognising the man, what surprises Josh is the white coat that he was wearing. 

"Agent Williams, thank you for coming. I'm Pepper Potts and this is Dr Bruce Banner." Pepper is the first to approach and speak to him, her hand extended and every bit of her professional. 

He takes the hand and notes that she is firm in her handshake as she makes the introductions. The doctor is the next to extend the hand, but there is a hesitant nature to it, as if he expects Josh not to take it. He does. With awe that makes him feel like he isn't quite inside of his own body. 

Look. He has seen the footage of the incidents from both Harlem and New York. He'd seen the green monster that had  wreaked  havoc in both. Okay, so it hadn't been that the green monster had actively tried to destroy the city or anything, in fact, in both occasions it was bloody obvious that he was trying not to, but still. He'd seen what the green monster can do. 

So it feels surreal to realise that this man, this seemingly quiet and even shy man could hold such a beast inside of him is...  mind blowing to say at the least. 

"A pleasure." Josh manages to say even as the doctor shakes his hand and lets go quickly, as if he is worried that he was making Josh uncomfortable. Even in his daze, the training is still there enough for Josh to see the way that the woman's eyes show the faint concern as she looks over the doctor. 

"Dr Banner is a qualified ER certified medical doctor and will be in charge of the facility. The tablet has a full list of the doctors and nurses we have acquired the services of for the following week or two,  dependent on need as well as the facilities themselves." Pepper Potts outlines quickly. From the way that she is looking at her watch, it's obvious she has somewhere to be. 

He's not surprised by that. Stark Industries has, for lack of a better word, come to the rescue of New York. They weren't just working with the government, the Mayor's Office, the emergency services but they were apparently also in negotiations on behalf of the two Asgardian Princes to open up negotiations between Earth and Asgard. 

And that too is mind blowing. 

Not just international politics. Interplanetary politics and diplomacy. Josh had never thought that he would live till the day when such a thing was even a possibility let alone reality. So there was that. 

"Thank you. This will make it no doubt much easier, for me to conduct my work here." Josh says to her and he makes sure that he meets Bruce's eyes and smiles at him too. The man gives him a small smile back. 

"Dr Banner, I really am quite sorry to leave you but-" Pepper starts but Bruce shakes his head. 

"I know Pepper. You have a conference. I'll be alright here. Besides, I have JARVIS." Bruce says as he points to his ear and it's only then that Josh realises that both Pepper and Bruce are wearing the earpieces like Darcy had advised. 

"Right. Of course. Any problems, get me." Pepper says and she waits just long enough for Bruce to nod before she rushes off. When she is gone, Bruce takes a deep breath and he seemingly makes a conscious effort to square his shoulders and the man's demeanour changes. 

It's as if he was putting on a new outfit. A new persona to do the job that he was meant to. He runs a hand over the  collar of the white coat he was wearing and he straightens that and the  stethoscope  before he releases the breath. 

"Well, Agent Williams, shall we get to work?" Bruce suggests and Josh nods and smiles at the man as he too takes a deep breath. 

This wasn't just going to be a short and sweet assignment, he feels like. He had expected that this would be maybe a few days sort of affair to just get the publicity that SI wanted. Instead, it seemed like the heroes that have saved New York weren't done saving it and was in it for the long haul. 

"I- Dr Banner, I just wanted to say, before we start, thank you." Josh tells the man as he starts to lead Josh through the clinic. The doctor pauses for a moment, confusion obvious in his eyes as Josh clarifies. 

"For saving New York. For doing this. I know that you didn't have to." Josh says and he means it. 

None of this was necessary. Josh knows the cost of set ups like this. It's in the hundreds of thousands of dollars. But SI hadn't thought twice before spending the money. The doctors that volunteered, he doubted that they had thought twice about it either. Same with Banner. 

He knows that Thor, Loki and Iron Man were working  on the  construction sites, clearing debris and helping out to make sure that the major roads can be cleared and repaired as quickly as possible. 

They had taken all of two minutes for themselves to heal and recover from the intense battle before they had gone right back to helping. Though there had been no obligation whatsoever on their behalf to do such a thing. The world was already grateful. There was no need for them to do this. 

"I thought about running away. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did. Looking at all the deaths and destruction, I couldn't. Not when I knew that there was something that I can do. I did that with Harlem and I am going to regret not staying after that. This time, I didn't want to make the same mistake." There is something pained in the way that the man speaks. 

It's different from seeing him and listening to him talk during the press conference. It's different from seeing the quiet pain and trauma that the man seemed to carry. There was raw regret and pain in his voice and his eyes that Josh can see this close. 

It reminds him, more than anything else that the superheroes, just the six of them that managed to fight  off an alien invasion, were human barring one god, that is. That they had emotions and pains and that they weren't all just strong all the time. 

That they had to fight against themselves, their fears and their own pain and anguish to fight for humanity. The detached awe and respect that he had for them increase in his mind as Josh takes in the man's words, the determination and the desire to help. 

"Well Dr Banner, I am glad that you have decided to stay and I very much am honoured to work with you." Josh tells him and hopes that all of the gratitude and respect that he feels is conveyed to the man. 

Dr Bruce Banner gives him a soft smile and his shoulders seem to relax as he continues with the rest of the tour. 

Yeah. This was definitely not going to be a short assignment. But it  _ was _ the assignment that he was going to be telling his grandkids about some day, Josh thinks. 

When he'd brushed shoulders with real heroes. 

~~~ 

**Friday**

**6 May 2011**

"You  _ said _ you had the situation under control." The harsh scathing voice of the female World  Security Council member echoes through the room.

For the last couple of days, no, for the last week, the headache has persisted. Fucking Tony Fucking Stark and his fucking press conference where he spilled the whole fucking beans and on top of that, the public's opinion turning like a tide had made certain of that. 

It didn't help that fucking Captain America had to grow a fucking conscience and go off script. It had been the perfect opportunity for SHIELD to set the narrative.

He was the  _ goddamned _ Captain America, legendary hero of World War II, brought back to life. That should have solved their little narrative problem with the media and the world at large. 

But no. Steve  _ had _ to go off script. Instead of outlining how the incident had taken place, he had spent the short time they had before Tony Stark's press conference urging the people of the world to stay calm. To support the people of New York. That's  _ it _ . 

He hadn't said a word about the actual invasion. He hadn't called for Loki's arrest. He had squandered the perfectly good opportunity. Then  _ of course _ , Tony  _ fucking _ Stark had to hit the nail in the coffin with his hour long press conference that overturned the narrative that SHIELD needed the world to hear.

The thing is? Fury gets it. 

Tony Stark and his need to be a hero and recognised for his heroic efforts just  _ had _ to take control. That's just who Tony fucking Stark is. It  _ all _ had to come down to him.  _ He _ is the one that had to be in control. 

Unfortunately, Tony is good with the media. Very good.  _ Too _ fucking good. He has the resources to be good at it too. And built up trust with the media that SHIELD doesn't have. And that? That means that Tony Stark is in full control of the media situation. And they aren't. 

As frustrated and out of control Fury feels, there is also a part of him that is impressed by Tony Stark and just how quickly he's managed to turn both the media around and actually start fixing the mess that is New York right now.

Between the Foundation, the actual work that Tony was doing with his suit along with the others and the makeshift clinic and all, Tony Stark was fast becoming something of a saint in the world's eyes and that was a dangerous thing.

Fury doesn't like it.

It makes it difficult to control Tony Stark and the rest of the Avengers. In fact, this was not turning out anywhere near what he had planned.

"Yeah, well it would have been under control if you hadn't ordered a nuclear strike to the city. Keeping that information and keeping that under the radar is exhausting our resources." Fury retorts back.

This isn't the first time or day that they have been on his arse about not controlling Tony Stark and he was starting to get sick and tired of their bullshit demands.

"The problem isn't the bomb. The problem is Tony Stark and this new narrative. Don't you have anything that we can use?" They won't say the actual word, 'blackmail' but Fury knows that is what they mean.

"No." He tells them outright.

He doesn't plan to tell them about Stephen Strange and the impossibility of that  man’s genetic make up and well, the impossibility of him being alive to begin with.

As far as Fury can see, that was the only weakness that Tony had. His close friendship with a man that should not exist. But Fury couldn't see how the man can be used and more importantly, he doesn't believe that the man  _ should _ be used. 

Tony Stark was starting to become a seriously dangerous figure to deal with. Between the trust and adoration the public around the world has for him, the faith and trust the governments around the world have for him and his resources, funds and now the added bonus of two Asgardian Princes and Bruce Banner? 

"Do your job Director! It is your job to control the Avengers. When you brought the Avengers Initiative to us, you said that you will be able to control them. Has that been a gross inflation of your abilities?" The mocking voice is also filled with annoyance and anger. He shares it. 

"Well what do you want me to do? We  _ need _ Tony Stark and the rest of the Avengers and it's too late to change the narrative now. All we can do is work  _ with _ them and pray that they don't reveal that it was  _ your _ decision to send the nuke!" Fury tries not to yell, but he doesn't  _ quite _ succeed. 

The silence is deafening as the World Council Members look at each other. Fury waits. 

"Fine. Talk to Stark. Make sure that he keeps us out of the picture. We'll deal with the problem with the United Nations and the US Senate." The younger of the men says. 

Fury nods firmly before he shuts off the display and sighs. he slumps back into his chair and wishes that he could drink. 

But it's morning and he has far too much work to do to indulge in such a thing. This all should have been so easy. 

Tony Stark should have been under his thumb by now, desperate to prove himself and to be a part of the team from the position of a consultant. Tony  _ was _ a consultant for them, but that had been under  _ his _ terms,  _ his _ dictation and  _ his _ contract. 

And the bastard has taken half of the fucking Avengers with him. Just like that. The plans Fury had to offer Banner safe passage and thus earn his trust and loyalty has gone out the window. Offering to protect Jane Foster and Darcy Lewis to get Thor's cooperation? Also out the fucking window. 

The plan to arrest and study Loki to replicate his magic and his physiology? Also gone. 

All he had left was Steve Rogers, who apparently for a goddamned soldier, couldn't follow fucking orders, Natasha Romanov with her divided and confused loyalties and one traumatised and confused archer that was fast becoming too cynical to be of use. 

This is  _ not _ what Fury had planned. 

Fuck. 

~~~ 

**Friday**

**6 May 2011**

He needs to stop being a coward.

Stephen knows that. He really does. Clea has made it clear that he was running out of excuses.

With the rescue efforts completed and the Masters all back to their normal duties and though some of their members were still out in the field, it was part of their normal employment and there was no reason why Stephen shouldn't stay at the Tower and attend to his consultations. To help out at the makeshift clinic.

He knows that he should.

It's the right thing to do. But the anxiety, fear and apprehension curls in his stomach and it's difficult to work past it. 

It's early morning. 

Tony is still sleeping within his arms and Stephen can't. He hasn't been able to since he had woken up with the cold shivers remaining after Loki's nightmare had woken him up. 

He knows that the god is attempting to shield him from the effects of his nightmares. But he feels them regardless. They are too close and the Bond too raw and open right now given the state of Loki's mind, for the god to truly shield Stephen. 

Not that Stephen can blame the God of Mischief. 

He has seen the fractured nature of Loki's mind. He has seen enough of the iterations of the universes through the god's perspective to know just what Loki has suffered through. 

All that pain, torture and anguish? That doesn't go away overnight. Just as his fear of the god doesn't go away overnight or indeed, after months. 

There is an itch underneath his skin that demands physical contact with Loki. The Bond between them isn't stretched but the need to have physical contact is stronger with Loki than it has been with Tony. 

Stephen imagines that it is by the virtue of their shared magic and by the fragile and vulnerable state of Loki's soul. 

In the last day or so, it had become almost unbearable.

But Stephen hadn't reached out to Loki. He could have easily, he knows that. But then neither had the god. And he won't. Loki's guilt and regret is a constant, sad and sombre memory that plays across their Bond each moment the god is alone enough to think. 

Each night, when Stephen hadn't been able to stay  at Kamar-Taj as he longed for Tony's presence and the faint closeness of Loki, he has returned home to their bed and into Tony's arms. But he hasn't seen Loki and he hasn't touched Loki. 

He couldn't.

But the need was building and soon, the Bond and the Connection will make it impossible and Stephen doesn't want to be forced into physical contact with the god. Not after- Stephen closes his eyes and barely manages not to hold Tony tighter in his arms. 

The last thing he wants to do is wake up the genius when he badly requires th e rest. Stephen  had been clearing up the issues at the Order and getting them to back to business as usual whilst he did his emergency consults here and there, but Tony has been doing a lot more than that. 

Aside from using the suit for the last couple of days to handle the debris to clear the roads and so forth, he had also been dealing with international politics, the US government, Stark Industries and the Foundation. 

Stephen was amazed and awed, though he knows better, that his lover could do so much. That he cares so deeply for the people of his city and the world. Stephen couldn't be prouder to be Tony's lover, his soulmate, his partner. 

Stephen does pull Tony a little closer and kiss the top of his head as he runs his trembling fingers through Tony's hair. The natural curls of Tony's hair is getting a little long. They haven't had the time to get Romeo to fix them up in a while. 

Stephen takes a deep breath. Amongst the contentment that he feels by the virtue of having Tony in his arms, warm and secure and in deep sleep, the unease grows as the sun rises. 

Even  though the way that the windows had been darkened by JARVIS, Stephen can see the way that the skies are starting to lighten around the edges. 

From the digital display of the time against the wall, Stephen knows that he only has an hour at the most and that knots his stomach and sends the dread spiralling inside of him. 

But Tony is right. It is about time that he does meet Thor, Jane and Darcy. And he can't avoid Loki forever, though if that is what he wished, he knew that Tony would not argue with him. 

It isn't meeting Darcy Lewis with her quirks and the way that she will most likely set the Tower on fire with Clea that worries him. It's not Jane and her scientific mind and worrying that she might slap him too for something or another. 

Meeting Thor does worry Stephen mildly but the God of Thunder already knows about the Connection and Tony has already explained to the God that Stephen wasn't ready to reveal who and what he was to the world yet. He hopes that the god will be discrete. 

No. As it had been in the last couple of months, it comes down to Loki and Stephen's irrational fear of being in the same room with him. 

Stephen isn't sure whether or not he can control that fear, anxiety  and panic and if he cannot, there will be questions. Questions about why. Questions about the past that Stephen hasn't dealt with and is not prepared to discuss. Especially with the likes of Clea. 

Stephen's heart rate increases as the anxiety starts to kick in. The watch that Tony had made for him, where FRIDAY always monitors his heart rate, kicks into action. The slow thrumming of the way that the watch beats out the rhythm his heart should be going helps. 

But not enough. 

"Steph?" Tony's groggy voice as he shifts in the bed, at the  precipice of waking up, does. Stephen takes a deep breath and continues to run his fingers through his lover's hair to try to encourage him to go back to sleep. 

But Tony isn't a child and when the genius wakes up, he is up and Tony nuzzles his chest and settles himself comfortably on Stephen's chest before he kisses Stephen's neck lazily. 

"You know, you don't have to, right?" Tony asks him with his voice husky with sleep. Stephen hums softly as he holds Tony tighter in his arms and buries his head in the soft curls of his lover's hair. 

Tony doesn't have to clarify what it is that he is talking about. The conversation is still too fresh in their minds for that.

"I know." Stephen tells him.

"Okay. Then tell me what you need." Tony asks him as he starts to kiss Stephen's neck softly and gently. He won't leave marks, at least Stephen hopes he won't. 

"Anthony I-" The anxiety is still pooling low in his stomach and as easily excitable as he is normally for Tony, he isn't- But he doesn't want to say no. Not to Tony. Not if he needs- 

"You do realise that I love you for more than just the sex right?" Tony asks him as Stephen tries to get his head to cooperate. Tony's soft words give him pause as Tony raises himself up to look down at Stephen with soft caramel brown eyes lit by the Arc Reactor. 

"And that I will love you even if you don't ever want to have sex with me again right?" Tony asks him and Stephen blinks as he looks up at his lover. The suddenness of his words surprise Stephen and he is wondering where it was all coming from when Tony continues, his eyes soft and loving and most surprisingly, seriously. 

"After- After Stuttgart, I sat there thinking, for a long time." Tony says as he runs a hand down Stephen's face, tracing the lines of the slightly messy goatee as his eyes seemingly are taking in every single detail and line of Stephen's face. 

"And I thought that maybe, just maybe, you might be too hurt and that you might not be able to allow me to touch you. That I might scare you. And if that was the case, what it would be like." Tony says softly as he caresses Stephen's jaw and neck with his calloused hands. 

"And you know, that I'm a sex guy. I love feeling your cock inside of me and I love filling you up." Tony says and though he smiles that salacious smile as he does so, his eyes are sombre and serious as he keeps his eyes focused on following his finger as he moves and caresses Stephen. 

"But you know what I thought then? That I don't care. I don't care if I never get to have sex with you or again or any sex at all. Even if I couldn't ever touch you again, if it meant that I could have you in my life, I can go without sex. I can go without touching you. It'd kill me, but you. Just you. Not your body that matters to me." Tony tells him and Stephen can't help it. 

The tears well up as the emotions of the depth of Tony's love begins to flood him. Tony's eyes fill with the adoration and worship that he shows every now and then as he looks down at Stephen and kisses him softly on the lips. Then on the eyes as the tears begin to flow. 

"Anthony, I-" Stephen isn't even quite sure what he was going to say, but apparently the emotional nature of the conversation has already been too much for Tony, whose ears go a little red as he smirks and kisses Stephen softly on the lips. 

"So. All I- um, all I'm going to say is that Loki is fucking lucky that you exist and that he gets to feel the Bond or whatever with you and you have no obligations to me or to him to do anything that you aren't comfortable with. Okay?" Tony asks. 

This man, Stephen thinks as he looks up at his lover through his watery eyes. This wonderful, wonderful  man who hates expressing emotions and saying all these words about love and sentimentality but will do it because he knows that Stephen needs to hear it. 

This man is... everything that Stephen had needed, wanted and dreamt of and more. Stephen wraps his arms around Tony's neck and pulls him down into a kiss. 

"I love you." Stephen whispers to him as he pulls away from the kiss and Tony ducks his head to hide his embarrassment even as he mumbles the words back. 

Tony is right, Stephen thinks. He wasn't going to be able the wrangle the irrational fear and anxiety and panic with the logical understanding that Loki won't hurt him. 

He  _ knows _ that Loki won't hurt him. The god has sworn it and he may be the God of Lies, but he was a magic user first and foremost and the oath that he had made had been made by one magic user to another. Loki wouldn't break that. 

Even if it wasn't for that, Stephen can feel just how deep the regret is for Loki when it comes to his actions.

If only his fears and his anxiety and his irrational panic could understand that. But then you can't get past such irrational fears and anxieties by the virtue of sheer logic. Still, some small steps might be able to help, Stephen thinks. 

And step one? 

Breakfast. 

~~~ 


	7. Partner? As in-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony introduces Stephen to the group. It... doesn't go smoothly. 
> 
> Well, when there is a certain girl in the room known for cynical comments and no brain filter, that's really a no brainer. 
> 
> On the other hand, the Madam Secretary General of the United Nations wants to know. Can she quit? Please?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys.  
Most of you will have noticed that I missed a posting day. Yeah. That happened. 
> 
> First of all, an apology. I'm so sorry that I haven't kept my promise. 
> 
> Second, the excuse. So... I was reading over 7 to 11, which I had written up to and pretty much decided that it was hot garbage, that needed to be set on fire and that I hated it. Which... happens. A lot. Actually. But because of the writing schedule and the pressure I was putting on myself, I kinda kept going and it just made it worse to the point where I wasn't enjoying what I was writing and it was turning more and more into garbage. 
> 
> So. Even though it was all edited, I decided to scrap it all (I am so sorry Missaness... and thank you for not killing me <3) and then rewrite the chapters. In essence, it only took taking out one scene (but of course that meant everything else had to change) and I was able to use a lot of the previous draft, but yes. 
> 
> So I have spent the last day rewriting the 5 chapters and I am now happy with it. And Missa, being the goddess that she is, edited 7 super quick for me and also got 8 done. So here's the update. 
> 
> IMPORTANT: Given the above, I've decided that for the foreseeable future, I will be posting a chapter every 2 days. Sometimes it might be more, but generally every 2 days. That will give me the time to work on one shots that I really want to write, take the time I need with the chapters instead of speed writing them... etc. 
> 
> I am so sorry to break my rule about once a day posting but I think this once every two days schedule will be better for my psychologically, emotionally and for the quality of the writing over all. 
> 
> Thank you so much for your kind words of support of late and please do keep them up. I live on your comments. 
> 
> <3  
Kira

**Friday**

**6 May 2011 **

Darcy Lewis is a simple girl at heart. 

Born and raised in Chicago, she knew her streets. She knew what hard work was about and she knew how to read people like a book cause if you don’t in the bad side of town, you can get real fucked up. 

Darcy's clever enough that she was able to get through school and to earn the scores to get into the course she wanted on a full ride at Carver. Political science might not change the world, but damn it helped to understand it. 

She honestly hadn't made like a plan for her life or anything. She figured that she could do that later. But then... she met Jane, fell in love with the bumbling scientist and signed up for the 3 months internship that has somehow involved a freaking god falling out the skies, _literally_, shady government agents, massive giant robots and now... this. 

Every morning it's the same. 

She's not quite sure whose genius idea it was that they should use one of the empty apartments in the middle of their apartments to use as a common space, but hey, it works. Mostly because it's where all the food has been congregated. 

She's also not sure which genius decided that they can cook for themselves rather than accept the generous offer of a professional chef, but honestly? Breakfast was easy enough and the mild mannered Dr Banner was a fierce warrior in the kitchen so it works out. Somehow. 

If nothing else, Darcy knows well enough to keep Jane out of the kitchen for anything other than drinks and serving and she also knows that Thor is pretty useless too. It doesn't help that when he gets excited, random bolts of electricity can strike and they've already killed three toasters. 

Which means that it's generally Bruce, Darcy and Clea that does the kitchen work. Pepper Potts was the first to put her hand up to say that she can pretty much reliably burn everything and that Tony was worse. So there was that. 

Hence the offer of a chef, Darcy supposes. Either way. Breakfast is usually simple. Cereal, milk, fruits and yogurt, eggs and toast. The only thing that was different about the usual fare was the fact that there was at least 4 types of bread at all times and 15 types of cereal. 

Oh and the quantity. Don't forget the quantity. Holy shit, Loki, for his slender figure could eat just as much as Thor and Bruce was about the same. Darcy supposed it had something to do with their super powers but still... whoa. 

A few days into this routine and she was still not used to it. But it _ was _ nice to have Thor around again. His humour and kindness was kind of what everyone needed to keep their spirits up and most importantly, he made Jane smile. Yeah, Darcy is not going there right now. 

Instead, she focuses on Loki. 

She's kinda got a read on everyone else. Pepper, the perpetual professional lawyer and boss lady with a heart of gold that just cares far, far too much about people but still can make the difficult decisions. The straight forward, take no prisoners and take no nonsense type wrapped up in fluffy brightness and happiness was Clea. 

Honestly, if she wasn't so sure that neither Pepper nor Clea swung her way, she'd been convinced that they were a couple. They just had that way of clicking together that was just epic. 

Bruce Banner? Oh a bundle of complete insecurities and the whole fear of himself or other self thing. He was always so quiet and mild mannered, as if at any point, he expects everyone in the room to realise that he is a monster and run away screaming. She feels for him, she really does. 

Which is honestly... kind of like Loki, she supposes as she looks over the god. 

He is _ pretty _ . Thor is hot. He is all muscle and like tall and big and blond and those blue puppy eyes and yeah. He is _ hot _. But Loki? Oh he's more beautiful. More... slender and long and graceful and dark and those emerald green eyes are so filled with pain and anguish that it makes him look so soulful. Like a Byronic hero. 

It's hard to get a proper read on him though. Unlike the others, who at least make the effort to join in the conversation, even when they are barely caffeinated and half zombies, Loki doesn't. Unless he is directly addressed, Loki will sit at the table but he won't actively participate in any of the conversation. 

Given what she's seen of the press conference, that makes sense but still. It's kind of a bummer because Darcy's seen him with the kids. He's good with them and if he opens up a bit, she gets the feeling that anyone given the title of God of Mischief, would be a riot to hang with. 

Darcy is pulled from her thoughts by the door to the apartment opening. 

It's usually always Bruce that is first in the shared space to get the cooking started, then Thor and Loki before Jane and Darcy made their way. Clea and Pepper were usually last, because they usually had to take the time to actually wear suits and makeup and shit because they did spend an awful amount of time with the media, meetings and all that good stuff. 

No one really minds. In fact, Darcy is pretty sure that Bruce might actually cry if anyone started cooking without him. He had an unhealthy obsession with the large kitchen. At any rate, though she'd been expecting Clea and Pepper, it's Tony that joins them. 

Only, he isn't alone. 

And boy oh boy, there's another pretty one, Darcy can't help but think as she looks over the man. Tall, taller than Tony by at least half a head, with perfectly pomaded chestnut brown hair, goatee like Tony's, and the most stunning blue grey eyes she'd ever seen. Tall, slender and honestly, kind of built like Loki. 

He seems nervous. 

Darcy doesn't miss the way that Tony pulls the other man into the room by his wrist and the way that his hand lingers on the other man's lower back. Her eyebrows go up. She's heard the rumours, like _ everybody else _ on social media, but she'd thought that it was just that. Rumours. The question forms. 

"Morning!" Tony's loud greeting is bright. Almost too bright, like it's forced. Like he is putting on a face for the media. Oh this is going to be interesting, Darcy thinks as Bruce, Jane and Thor come out of the kitchen to greet them. 

"So Brucie, Thor, Darcy, Jane and Loki, I'm going to trust in your discretion, by which I mean don't post this on social media, and introduce you to Dr Stephen Vincent Strange. My partner." As Tony speaks, some of that falsity drops until his voice is just filled with pride and warmth. 

Oh. Wait. What?! 

The man, Dr Strange, and what a name that was, is about to say something, no doubt something polite and mundane like a greeting when she just can't stop herself and interrupts. 

"Wait! Wait a minute! Partner?! As in..." She trails off as she looks at Tony and he wriggles his eyebrows at her.

"Yup. Partner. As in, I fuck him and he fucks-" Holy shit, Darcy is thinking just as the doctor's hand comes up to block Tony's lips with a firm hand. Darcy can't help but notice that the pale hand is badly scarred and shaking. Or the mischievous delighted look in Tony's eyes or the way that the doctor flushes. 

Holy shit. Wow, Darcy thinks as she looks at the two of them. 

Who would have thought? The playboy, the master of wooing men and women and known throughout the world as being _ the _ playboy settling down. The thing is, from what she'd seen of Tony Stark, he wouldn't be making this announcement to them if he didn't trust them and if this thing wasn't serious. 

Which is again. Holy shit. 

"Not anymore if you keep that up, Anthony." Stephen's voice is deep and it's got that delicious velvety smoothness that would have had Darcy's legs going weak if she swung that way. Regardless, she can definitely appreciate the eye candy that the man presents like this, standing closely behind Tony, a hand over his mouth and leaning in close to whisper those words, though it's loud enough for everyone to hear. 

"Holy shit! So all of those rumours about you being Bi are real?" Darcy can't help but question. Oh, she knows it's probably not the best time to be doing that, but from the crinkle in Tony's eyes and the amused look on his face, she gets a feeling that she's played right into a scheme of his. She doesn't mind. 

Because the doctor's shoulders relax a little and the tension seems to drain out of him as he lets out a suffering sigh. Tony pulls the doctor's hand away with a gentle movement before he replies to her with a wink. 

"Duh! Besides, do you see this man? Even if I was completely straight, I would have happily taken his c-" Stephen is quick to replace his hand, a little firmer this time with a glare to Tony's direction before he turns a sheepish smile on the rest of them. 

"I do apologise for Anthony." Stephen says smoothly but there is amusement in his eyes and fondness and oh boy, seeing the two of them everyday was going to be a treat, Darcy thinks as she shrugs her shoulders. 

The others seem a little stunned, either by the situation, the newcomer in their midst or by the candour in which Tony casually discussed their sex life. Either way, Darcy is more than happy to take up the slack. 

Besides, finding out that the Tony Stark was a part of the LGBTQ community was kinda awesome. 

"Oh no, it's cool. So a doctor huh? A medical one?" Darcy is quick to ask as she walks closer to them, dumping the tray of orange juice on the nearby table. 

But as she walks closer, she sees Tony's eyes fill with sheer and utter mischief and she almost laughs when she sees the tongue poking between the doctor's fingers as Tony tries to suck one of the doctor's fingers into his mouth. 

"Anthony!" The doctor's cry is filled with the outrage that he obviously feels as he pulls his hand away from the man, but from the way that he almost bites his lips and the way that his ears fill with colour, his hands were definitely a sensitive spot. And that's far more than Darcy really needed to know about their relationship. 

In the chaos or rather for her, the amusement, she hadn't noticed the door opening behind them and she sees both Pepper and Clea look at each other before they roll their eyes. 

"I was hungry and you're always so delicious so-" Tony starts to say and Darcy is honestly torn between laughing till she rolls on the floor or finding a camera to record this moment. 

"Oh my God! Anthony Edward Stark!" Pepper admonishes as she enters the apartment, shaking her head. 

Clea approaches the tall man and it's only then that Darcy realises that they have the same last name. Oh. Pepper goes to Tony and pulls him physically away from Stephen's side with a deep exasperated sigh. 

"Tony, please, for the love of all that is holy, please, stop sexually harassing my cousin in front of me. I'm already traumatised enough." Clea says with a half exasperated sigh as she grabs onto her cousin's arm as if to comfort him. 

It's clear that both Pepper and Clea were well aware of the relationship and this was an ongoing joke between them. The strong friendship is made all the more obvious by the fact that Stephen relaxes more with the girls in the room. 

Well then. 

As the others shake themselves out of their stupor and greet Stephen, and Bruce asks about breakfast preferences, Darcy looks around for the tray she'd abandoned and as she does, she can't help but notice Loki. 

He'd been half leaning against the window, his eyes locked to the outside world. But now, his eyes are firmly on Stephen and that look? That look wasn't curiosity like it was with everyone else. No. His eyes were like hers. Like Darcy's when she looked at Jane. 

Longing. Desiring. Wanting and knowing that you can't have it. That's the kind of hungry look in his eyes and oh boy, that was going to interesting, Darcy thinks as she purposely looks away from the god. 

Everyone is entitled to their emotions and apparently, she had figured out the God of Lies after all. Just like her, he was in love with someone he couldn't have and that tied them together better than anyone else in the group, Darcy thinks bitterly. 

Fools in love. That's what they were. Fuck. 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**6 May 2011**

Has any Secretary General ever resigned? 

Madam Secretary General of the United Nations, Emily Javier does not want to be the first one. But she wishes that she could. Sworn oaths and duties be damned, she wishes that she could just... walk away from all this. Maybe retire to Tuscany. She sighs. 

No. She has a duty to her role and a duty to the people that have elected her into the position. But then, when she made that oath, there hadn't been aliens pouring out of the skies of New York had there? 

The paperwork before her is long and incredibly dense. Not that she isn't used to such paperwork. In fact, that has been her bread and butter for her entire adult life as she has climbed the ladder of politics in her native country of Spain to where she is now. 

No, it's not the paperwork that is making her consider making history not only as the first female Secretary General but as the first to resign from the position. No. It's this whole problem.

The scale of the incident in New York City and the implications of what that means has sent ripples throughout the world and now it was up to her and to those like to her to deal with the fall out. 

That had started with the initial action by the United States Government declaring Prince Loki Laufeyson of Asgard and Jotunheim as a war criminal. But after discussions with the United States government, the Justices at Hague and after having seen the press conference from Tony Stark and his ilk, it had been impossible for that course of action to proceed.

Which has brought her to this position. 

The Asgardians required a governing body to deal with in order to form some semblance of diplomatic ties between Asgard and Earth. Unfortunately, there is no centralised world government and unlike, it appears in Asgard, no Royal that can speak for the entirety of Earth.

The closest thing that they have is the United Nations and even the United Nations does not include the entirety of the world. Earth politics was simply not that simple.

But it is the best that they have. So Javier's job was simple, if such a word can be applied to a situation as complex as this.

Pass an Accord in the General Assembly that would allow the United Nations to speak to the Asgardians on behalf of Earth's populous in order to create the diplomatic ties that it seems, the world would require in the future. 

That is not what the United Nations had been created to do. Such an act went so far outside of their purview and placed such large burdens upon their shoulders, but it was better than allowing one single government to deal with the alien gods and even worse, insist that a different deal be struck by every single government on the planet. 

No. The United Nations must step up. Which meant that in the past week, a great deal of the usual members of the Assembly were being changed out by their governments as the best of the best of each country's diplomatic staff was being sent to New York. 

First order of business, the New York Accords, as it has come to be known. To ensure that the governments will agree to be bound by the diplomatic agreements created by the United Nations and the General Assembly and to ratify any such agreement into law within their respective countries. 

Perfect accord is always impossible, of course, but the majority, should it be large enough, will suffice for the time being. 

Getting that sorted was already going to take weeks. On top of that, the actual diplomatic discussions with the Asgardians? That was going to take far longer. But the plans that have been sent by Tony Stark on behalf of the Asgardian Princes were not overly strenuous and Javier hopes that it will not be an overly drawn out process. 

The other issue that has Javier's mind burdened and her shoulders heavy is the matter of the World Security Council and their overreaching power. Oh, Javier knows that she is not meant to know about the World Security Council. No one is. But one does not get to a position like hers without knowing something about them. 

And along with that, she also knows that it was them that had ordered the nuclear strike to New York and that has made her incredibly uncomfortable and frankly, _ terrified _. She had known the power of the World Security Council, but she did not know who they were and just how far they were willing to go. 

She does now. 

The fear of what had almost occurred and the knowledge of just who had prevented the tragedy does not fade from her mind easily. Hence why she was even entertaining this notion of speaking to Tony Stark personally before she proceeds with the matter. 

The New York Accords, she has no problem with. If they were going to be dealing with interplanetary threats and relations, than the Accords were necessary. But the diplomatic ties with Asgard? 

That she felt less certain about. Hence her plan to perhaps speak to Tony Stark, given his heroics and the virtue of the fact that he had been the one to both save New York and to advocate for Prince Loki Laufeyson, it seems only right to speak to him. She needs to completely understand how and why Tony believed that the God of Lies would be truthful in his dealings with humanity. 

There is no such thing as a fair bargain without equal knowledge and equal bargaining power. 

At this moment, Javier feels a distinct disadvantage with beings that literally created an entire pantheon of gods as teenagers, on a holiday to Earth. God, this is ridiculous, she thinks.

"Emma, can you contact Tony Stark and inform him that I would like a private meeting?" Javier asks of her secretary. The woman nods firmly, though she seems surprised. She will put the call through, Javier thinks as she leans back in her chair.

It is almost hilarious to her, in a hysterical fashion, that though the world had almost ended, New York had almost been destroyed and she had almost died consequently and she has yet to even begin to deal with what all of that means; that she is forced to sit at her desk and ponder political and diplomatic moves. 

The utter ridiculous nature of her situation is farcical. But it is reality. Her reality. Their reality. The world may burn and people may die, but politics and diplomacy will continue. It has to. 

It's the only thing they know how to do. 

~~~ 

**Saturday**

**7 May 2011**

Here's the thing about... disasters.

It doesn't matter what the particular disaster is. Whether it be a 9/11-esque terrorist attack, a tornado, earthquake, a war or an alien invasion... life goes on.

It's not like the event is forgotten. No. Sometime in the future, people will ask each other, 'where were you when the New York Invasion happened?' And people will remember. They will remember what scenes they saw on the news, what time it was for them, what they had been doing, who they had been with and how they felt about it.

Because a world changing event like this doesn't go away.

But life does go on. It has to.

People around the world will still pay attention to the news every now and then and get their updated information, but over time, the interest will fade. Some will donate or volunteer to help out somehow but soon, as the media's attention shifts elsewhere, even those efforts will stop. 

That is just how the world works. 

And Clea knows that and she is okay with that. Because dwelling on all this for a prolonged period of time would drive anyone to madness, her included. 

But for now, New York doesn't go on like business as usual. Those with jobs go to their jobs, eat their meals and complain about the shortages of food and resources. They complain about the alien debris and the debris of buildings that block their chosen routes to work. But they go on. 

For those that have lost everything, their jobs, their homes, their family members and every possession barring the clothes on their backs? For them, life stops. And they are the ones that Clea and the Foundation were seeking to help. 

The hospital that they set up is going strong and incredibly busy. The 'waiting room' is almost always full of people seeking medical attention and assistance. Some of them come simply because they have nowhere else to go. That's fine. 

The Tower is set up to provide food, shelter, clothes and to work with those that have lost all of their documents and as a result their basic identities, to get the paperwork back. Luckily, with the assistance of the AI systems, the US Government and some excellent programmers, a lot of people were getting the help they need. 

There is a great deal of organisation to be done. The type of organisation that is, it feels like, literally breaking her brain apart. 

There are countless deliveries that needs to be made of all the materials, food, clothes, hospital supplies and so forth that they need. Ordering the right amounts of everything, making sure that they have the funds for it, making sure that they have sufficient room and staff to handle the deliveries. 

It's a nightmare and a half. 

But Clea doesn't mind. Like the rest of them, she knows that if she stops working, if she stops being so focused, she is going to break down and cry and she's not sure how long it will be before she can get back up again. 

The Order has done its job. Unlike the previous universe, in which hundreds of thousands of lives had been lost, the death toll is much lower. Only 42 thousand. And oh boy, it is so ridiculous that she accounts a number that large with the word 'only'. 

But it is a smaller amount of loss of lives and for that, she's always going to be proud of what the Order has managed to achieve, despite the losses that they too have suffered. Clea knows that Stephen was struggling. 

He was not only dealing with the two Soulmates situation, almost losing Tony and almost dying himself as a result. but the guilt and regret he feels for the Acolytes, Disciples and Masters they have lost during the invasion. 

This is not an easy time for anyone but they each put smiles on their faces, focus and do their work. Every now and then, they will ask each other, 'are you okay?' and sometimes, the answer they get back will be an honest 'no' followed by a hug and a cup of tea or a glass of wine. Most of the time, the answer is a 'yes'. Because even if it's a lie, it helps. 

"Are you sure we need to invite this guy?" Darcy asks with a frown as she flips up a picture of Hugh Hefner. Clea sighs as she nods. 

"Yeah. He's gonna bring some of his girls and that's going to open some pockets." Clea says even though she hates that she is saying it. The judgement in Darcy's eyes is obvious. Clea sighs. 

"I know it's gross but just send the invite please. We're going to need all the funding we can get." Clea says as Darcy sighs and nods. 

Stark Industries has money. D'Arte Corporation has money. Both Tony and Stephen have money. But that money isn't liquid funds. Most of them are tied to real estate, to stocks, in funds that can't be quickly liquidated. Which means that there is a limit to how much they can fund the rebuilding efforts or the relief efforts. 

Hence the need for assistance. 

The Government was doing what it could, but the government's relief programs were the bare minimum and as far as they were concerned, people deserved a little more than the bare minimum. 

Besides, Tony was determined to make sure that people's lives got back to normal or better and that was going to require massive amounts of investments into the rebuilding of New York. 

It helps that Tony is a great salesman and he has plans. With his engineers and with his architects, Tony has come up with the plans to rebuild the buildings with the Arc Reactors as the main source of power, ensuring that the buildings will run on clean energy.

The buildings will all contain gardens and those trees that convert pollution to oxygen and so forth. Tony's vision is one that is quite... amazing and Clea is honestly in awe of the man. It's clear that Jane and Darcy are as well. 

"You know you guys don't have to help right?" Clea asks because she'd accepted their assistance to try to figure out the guest list for the Fundraiser, but it's already been hours and they'd already worked a full day with the Foundation, dealing directly with the victims. 

On top of that, Jane was working with the lawyers, Tony, Thor and Loki to figure out the best way to explain the Nine Realms and Darcy was acting as the group's photographer to post daily updates on their daily lives onto Twitter and Facebook. Everyone was wearing more than one hat and doing far more than just one person's job. 

"You kidding me? When else am I going to get to have a say in which Saudi Arabian Prince gets an invite to a shindig?" Darcy asks as she lifts up her tablet to show the list of the Princes. Clea smiles gratefully. 

"On that note, _which_ Princes should we be inviting?" Darcy asks with a confused look and Clea can't help it. She bursts out laughing and Jane snickers too before she lifts up her own tablet. 

"If you can help me figure out how the title system works in Italy with all the Princes and Dukes, I'll help you with the Arabian Princes." Jane suggests, a confused look on her face also. Clea laughs and the others join in.

It's moments like this that they truly need. A moment to forget the horrors just outside of the walls of the building and to just breathe and laugh and let go of the heavy burdens that they have taken upon themselves. 

They know that none of them _ have _ to do this. At any moment, they can call it quits, but they won't. Because there were people out there hurting and needing their help and even if it involved ridiculous arguments about princes and how far they were from the crown, at the end of the day, they knew that it was going to make a difference. 

"How about we just go by bank balances?" Jane suggests after a moment and it's tempting but Darcy shakes her head. 

"Nah, we gotta look at whether they're the charitable kind or not. In fact, we should probably look at some of the disgraced celebrities and like socialites cause they're gonna be clamouring for some good PR." Darcy says and Clea is once again surprised by her insight as she nods. 

"Good call. You hit the gossip mags. I'll take the princes." Clea declares as she opens a new tab on her tablet. 

“Speaking of gossip mags, your cousin and Tony huh?” Darcy says, her eyebrows wriggling and Clea rolls her eyes as she sighs. 

Oh yes, that infamous way of introducing and outing themselves to the group. Well. It had the intended effect. Luckily, though she hadn’t doubted it for a second, no one in the group had given a damn that the two of them were dating. 

But it was clear that Bruce, Jane and Darcy were surprised that a man with Tony’s reputation had settled down enough with a man to introduce him proudly as a partner. It helped that the two of them were so fucking sickeningly in love. And yes. Clea was most definitely jealous. In a way. 

“Yeah. Don’t ask. Just- Just be glad that they live in the Penthouse.” Clea says as she exaggeratedly shudders, making Darcy snort and drawing Jane’s attention. 

Considering Darcy’s cynical and straight forward nature with her unapologetic celebration of her LGBTQ identity, Jane is almost the flip side of the coin. She is just as passionate, loud and cynical and funny as Darcy when she wants to be, but she’s more the type to blush and avoid discussions of sex. It’s quite adorable, really. 

“Ooh. That sounds like there’s a story involved.” Darcy says with interest sparkling in her eyes and Clea can’t help but laugh a little as she shakes her head. 

“Look. This is my cousin we’re talking about. Like I really don’t want to talk about the time I walked in on them going at it in the gym. But I am going to say this. Tony? He works out.” Clea says and Darcy’s jaw drops for a second and as Jane goes red. 

“You walked in on them?!” Jane almost cries out as Clea shrugs her shoulders. 

“It was gym time and it’s not my fault I was listening to music and didn’t realise that my cousin was- okay. Nope. Nope. I need bleach for my brain please.” Clea moans out as the two girls laugh. 

“So, how’s Thor in bed?” Clea turns the tables as she looks at Jane with her own wriggling eyebrows. As she does, she sees from the corner of her eyes, the flash of pain going across Darcy’s eyes. Oh. Oh! Shit, she thinks as Jane blushes harder. 

“I- It’s- We haven’t done it yet. It’s just- He’s kinda like massive? You know?” Jane sounds almost pained and pleading as she speaks and Clea can’t stop the giggle as she does think about Thor. 

“You never know. I mean, he can be small down there.” Clea says as Jane goes completely red in the face and looks just about to bolt. But before she does, Darcy jumps in. 

“Dude, it’s gonna be fine. Like that man, god, being, whatever, is totally in love with you. And you’ve had sex before right? Just relax and let him worship you like you deserve.” Darcy says and there is a light tone of teasing, but it is mostly fondness and kindness. Oh, Clea thinks. It’s that kind of love. Oh wow. 

Jane continues to blush but she nods slowly before she hurriedly changes the topic and Darcy and Clea let her. 

In the morning, they were probably going to regret staying up so late, but with each of them juggling at least two tablets, a phone, snacks and glasses of wine, in a way, even though this was work, it was the most relaxed Clea has been in days. 

Just what they all needed, she thinks as she goes back to her work and for some time there is nothing but the sounds of fingers tapping tablets, the sound of soft music in the background FRIDAY has chosen to play for them and the clinking of glasses. 

It's going to be a long night. 

~~~ 

**Saturday**

**7 May 2011**

"Go home, Clint." Natasha's words aren't harsh, but they aren't soft either. They are firm and commanding and exasperated. 

Clint doesn't look up from where he sits, his eyes glued to the videos of his children playing in the backyard with Laura's warm voice running commentary on their day. 

This has been the way that they had been communicating for the last several years whenever he was away from home. With some assistance from sources that Clint honestly is not too proud to admit that he used, he set up accounts and routing services for both himself and for Laura. 

When he went away on missions, she would make a video of herself and the children and leave it on the social media site. Given today's day and age, it was normal for a mother to post videos of her children onto her media sites or pictures and Laura was quite involved with the local school and bookclubs as well as her online mother groups. 

She had made sure that her social media friend list would be full enough that it would be able to hide his anonymous account and the actions of that account. He routes his connections so that they are always from rural Missouri. 

The records that they have set up for the children and for Laura are as airtight as possible and that means that they can have as normal a life as possible whilst they continue to stay safe and unconnected to him. 

No one is invited to the house, but considering the distance that they live away from the main town, that is not a surprise to most of the townspeople so that too is fine. Still. The videos tell Clint that everything is okay and that Laura and the kids are doing okay. 

She never makes any references to him or talks to him in the videos. She just makes comments about the children, what they have been up to in what she calls 'Mommy's Vlog'. They are usually very short. Only a few minutes or so, if that, but it allows Clint to know what his family is up to, to watch the growth of his children. 

He never posts anything back in return, he never comments or likes or whatever it is that kids do on social media. No. He watches the videos and when he is done, he makes sure that he clicks on random posts for other families in the nearby area before he shuts the connection down. 

"I can't." Clint eventually does tell Natasha as he scrolls through the random Facebook page of someone he doesn't even know nor care about. There are programs that can generate the random clicks and scroll for him, he is aware of that, but it's a ritual he likes to do every night away from his family and the routine helps. 

"Why the hell not?" Natasha asks him as she leans against the doorway to his room. There are no photographs of the children or of Laura or indeed anything of personal at all throughout his room. 

All that there was in the room was a cold impersonal touch of official gear for himself and clothes. That was it. Nothing of his personality. Nothing that he would miss if they were to go missing. Once he is done with the phone, he runs the deletion application to make sure that all traces of what he has been doing is gone. 

It is only then that he relaxes and looks up at Natasha. 

"Because this isn't done yet." Clint says with a sigh and Natasha sighs with him as she enters the room properly and closes the door firmly behind her as she moves to sit in the one and only chair in the room. 

"The Sceptre is being transferred out tonight to a locked down facility. The Tesseract is secure and being guarded by a small army. You've been cleared by psych three times. The scientists have confirmed that no energy signature from the Sceptre remains. What is the problem?" She asks and Clint looks at her as he curls his hands into fists. The phone makes a sound of protest. 

"Me! I'm the problem!" Clint bites the words out. The only thing that stops him from yelling is the late hour and the fact that he really doesn't want to have to see psych one more time. 

Natasha moves. 

She comes to the bed and sits down next to him and grabs the hand that is holding the phone in hers and she uncurls his fingers from around it and puts the phone down on the bed next to her. Her hand is gentle as she holds his. 

It's warm and soft though calloused and smells like coconuts as she always does when she's not on a mission. He closes his eyes and lets the tension drain out of him as he leans his head against her small shoulders and lets her take the burden of the weight of his head and more. 

"No you're not. I know that you're worried that you might hurt your family. But you won't. I believe you. I know you. You are Clint Barton and the last thing that you would ever do is hurt your family." She tells him softly as she caresses his hand. It's calming and comforting. 

He lets out a shuddering breath. 

"You need them as much as they need you. They've seen what happened in New York and they know that you were there. They need the comfort of seeing you and you them. So go to them Clint." She tells him softly, cajoling and gentle unlike before. He sighs. 

"But what if-" He starts but she puts a finger on his lips as he raises his head to look at her. 

"No what ifs. It's a fact. A cold hard fact. You will never hurt them. I know and believe that. You just need to know and believe it for yourself." She tells him and she's right. Of course she is. 

He nods as he takes a deep breath before letting out a huff. 

"You've gone soft on me Natalia." He tells her with warmth and amusement in his voice. She scoffs at him. 

"Ah ha. Yeah. Of course I have. That's why I'm going to be kicking you up the arse if you don't pack your shit up in the next ten minutes and get yourself on a train home." She tells him. He chuckles softly but he doesn't move. 

"I meant that." She tells him, her voice a low warning. He knows, but for the time being she doesn't stop running her fingers along his hand and he doesn't stop her. The small touch is exactly what he needs and they both know it. 

"Is she alright?" Clint asks because it's only right. The glint of the silver necklace from Natasha's neck pulls his attention. Natasha sees his eyes going to it and realises that it has slipped out from under her clothes and she extricates her hand from his to put it back away before zipping up the shirt even further. 

"Yeah. Yeah she's alright. I got a few messages from her. Including an invitation." Natasha says and the relief in her voice is obvious. So is the fondness. 

To think that when they had first met, Natasha had been a wild angry creature determined just to survive, Clint thinks. He could never have imagined the Natasha that sits in front of him now. The Natasha that hides a necklace given from a friend, the Natasha that loves though she knows that she ought not to. 

"You gonna tell her?" Clint asks but Natasha is shaking her head before the question is even finished. There is a small resigned smile on her lips as she does so. 

"No. She is too bright. Too innocent. Too kind. All I will do is bring her down to my level. To taint her. To- No. I can't do that to her. Besides, just the fact that she cares for me and that she sees redemption in me is enough." Natasha says and again, Clint is amazed that Natasha has come so far, but he is also grateful. 

The Natasha that he had met had been a puppet, a doll, a lifeless creature that killed on orders and acted more on instinct and cold hard logic than emotion. That didn't know who she was. Only what she was. 

This Natasha is different. Clint would like to think that he had a hand in bringing out some of the warmth and emotions of the Natasha that could have been without the Red Room, but he knows that a large percentage of work had been done by Clea Strange. 

A warm friendly overture. A promise of friendship, affection and care given without any expectation of anything in return. Promise of loyalty and devotion untied by obligations. That is all that Natasha had needed to be a better version of herself. To be more than what she had been. 

But that had also only been possible because that is what Natasha had desired. Natasha had wanted to be more, to be better. To know herself. Clea had just provided the reason and the push. Either way, Clint was glad. 

"You gonna go?" Clint asks as Natasha shrugs her shoulders. 

"Not gonna have a choice. Fury wants someone to speak to Tony and apparently, he trusts me just enough to be the messenger." Natasha says and Clint fights back the sigh against that. 

Oh, he gets why Fury has chosen Natasha. It's better than compromising another agent and it's a good way to see where Natasha's loyalties lay. A test to see whether or not Natasha can still be useful to Fury and SHIELD. 

Natasha was walking a fine line and Clint was worried for her. The fundamental roles that they played for SHIELD may have been similar, but their approaches had always been different. It meant that they had different uses. 

With Natasha showing for the first time that she can think for herself and that she prefers to do so, she had drawn the line in the sand. It meant that Fury was going to have to be careful with the way that he used her and Clint had a feeling that is exactly what Natasha had planned. 

"Whatever game you're playing Tasha, be careful yeah? And don't do anything stupid whilst I'm gone." Clint tells her as he does finally get up from the bed to start packing and to change. Natasha gets up from the bed as well.

"Give my love to yours." She says and Clint gives her a nod as she leaves the room and leaves him to his thoughts and insecurities. 

Trust in himself, he reminds himself. Trust that he will never, ever lay a finger on his family. Know that and own it and believe it. He doesn't give himself pause. He keeps packing and moving because he knows that if he stops, the insecurities will pop up again. 

But maybe, when he is home and he can see the beautiful faces of his kids and Laura, he can finally believe the words he keeps repeating in his head. Natasha's words. 

God he hopes so. 

~~~


	8. Medical Intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki does what he can to help. Both Tony and Stephen as well as the new guests of the Tower. 
> 
> In the meantime, across the city, an all too young boy stay up far. far too late to watch TV he shouldn't. 
> 
> And Stephen has some... unconventional ideas for working on Tony's blood pressure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alight.   
So once every two days I think is a schedule that's going to work out better. For one, it means that I got all the re-writing done and Missa has edited a few chapters ahead. It also means I can write some of the one shots that I've been wanting to write and if I fuck it up again and the plot goes nutters, I have the time to do rewrites. 
> 
> I am trying to write at least 1-2 chapters are day still but that's just me. And further ahead we are, the better quality it will be and if it gets far enough, I will go back to daily posting. 
> 
> Once again, apologies and thank you for your understanding. 
> 
> P.S This chapter is dedicated to Missaness (as a bribe/apology for the um... 'I hate everything, I'm rewriting everything you've already edited thing.) <3 <3 <3 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Saturday **

**7 May 2011 **

The people fear him. 

Even with all the media and all of the wrangling that Tony has done to save him in the eyes of the public, there is a certain fear in the public when it comes to him. 

That is a given and Loki honestly does not mind. It's no less than what he deserves. He is something other. He uses magic and whether they know it or not, he  _ is _ a monster. Their fear is justified

So he had been avoiding dealing directly with the public. Each time he has to be outside, he is always with Thor and with Tony. He simply works his  magic in accordance to the directions that Tony gives him. 

It also allows him moments of contact with Tony and considering how even now, he cannot approach and simply reach out to touch Stephen and Stephen, likewise will not approach him, Tony's touches are the only moments that ground and focus Loki. 

Soon, neither Stephen nor he will be able to avoid physical contact. Their skin already itches and burns with need. But that is not what he needs to focus on. 

There is work to be done. 

The consciousness within the Tower, the male Artificial Intelligence, JARVIS, had asked for his presence in the hospital level for some healing. This was not the first time he'd been asked to do such a thing and Loki does not mind. 

The meetings with the legal counsel and Thor have been wrapped up. There is a great deal of information they need to share as they plan for the diplomatic negotiations between the Realms. 

Thor is certain that Odin will be open to the idea of diplomatic treatise and relationship with Midgard. Loki is not so sure. When Thor had asked for a moment of privacy and revealed that Frigga had been in contact with Hel, Laufey and Freya, his hope has grown significantly. 

Odin forgets, sometimes, that he is not the only one with political power and savvy to achieve feats. Frigga is the Goddess of Wisdom and her methods may be quiet and peaceful, but they can be extraordinarily effective. With her brother, Freya being the King of Vanaheim, Hel, the Queen of Helheim and if Thor is to be believed, his birth father Laufey has forgiven him, then they may just have the support they need. 

Loki has allies in  Alfheim and of the inhabited Realms, they had just but Svartalfheim that may fight against the changes that they wish to bring, but Loki doubts that. Odin's rule has been cruel. Bringing more negotiations and direct diplomatic relations will be useful to all of the Nine Realms. 

So deep in his thoughts that Loki almost misses the sound of a child crying as he exits the elevator. The hospital is busy as always and there are nurses, doctors and patients all about the location. But the child is alone. Curled in the corner near the elevator, a girl child, only about 3 years of age. 

Loki looks around for a moment for a parent but when he does not find one, he approaches the child carefully. 

"Hello there little one." Loki says gently with a soft smile on his face. The girl looks up, surprised, her big black eyes wide and her short black hair sticking to her forehead. 

"What happened little one? What got you so upset? Hm?" Loki asks gently as he extends a hand but the girl doesn't answer him. She merely continues to cry, her sobs becoming louder and clearly more distressed. 

Loki takes a deep breath and pulls upon his magic. It takes  just a fraction of his focus to conjure the image of a little fairy as he had seen in the children's TV shows throughout the hospital. He makes it sparkle brightly with gold and pink and as the lights flash in front of the child's eyes, her eyes open and she stops crying. 

"No!" The child all but shouts, her tears forgotten and apparently, not quite angry. Loki blinks. No child had ever been angry with him when he'd conjured illusions for them before. 

"Do you not like fairies?" Loki asks, almost confounded. The child shakes her head and points to the dress, a small frown upon her chubby face as her tears still roll down her cheeks. 

"Green!" She insists and Loki blinks before he remembers. Oh. He changes the fairy's dress into a green one and allow it to dance around the girl and she laughs with delight, her tears or anger forgotten. Loki can't help but smile with her as he reaches out a hand  to her again . 

"Shall we go to find your mother and father?" He asks her, kneeling low in front of her and she nods but doesn't reach back out to him. 

"Fairy?" She asks, her word a slurred one from all the emotions she'd gone through. Loki chuckles as he nods. 

"Fairy may accompany us." He says and the girl finally lets him pick her up and with the fairy floating in front of her, looks wondrously at it as he makes the illusion dance, spin and float about all in front of her and around them. The sounds of her laughter reminds him of Hel and he feels his heart ache as he longs for his own child's embrace. 

"Lauren!" The cry of a distraught parent is one that Loki can recognise quite well. He has heard such a tone in his own voice after all. Loki walks towards the distraught mother as she frantically searches for her child. 

The hospital setting gives a small child a great deal of room to hide and it is no wonder that the mother has lost track. There is a nasty gash that he can see, still oozing blood as she looks for her child, heedless of her injury. 

The plight of the mother is one Loki can sympathise with. He walks as quickly as he can towards her and makes sure that she can see the child in his arms and when she sees him and the child, her eyes widen and fill with both relief and... fear. 

Loki debates putting the child down, but she clings to his collar and her warmth and the reminder of the familiar is almost too much for him to give up. The mother reaches them just as quickly as he reaches her. 

"Oh thank God! Lauren!" The mother cries out as the child turns to look at her, her face bright with a smile. 

"Look mum! Fairy!" The child, Lauren, says as the fairy he'd conjured for her floats in front of them both. The mother's eyes widen with wonder, but the fear doesn't quite fade as she reaches out her arms. 

"C-Can- Please." The mother's stammered words and plea is... difficult. Loki gives her a smile and pulls the child out of his arms and hands her over back to her mother, where she belongs. 

"Mrs Campbell! Your- Oh. Loki." Stephen's voice isn't alarmed or filled with fear. Not quite. But there is a note of anxiety and Loki feels it travelling across their Connection. 

Still, even as the child leaves his arms and his illusion continues to float near her, Loki cannot help but drink in the sight of his Soulmate. 

Stephen's hair is in a slight disarray, no doubt from running his hand through it many a time throughout the evening. His hands aren't shaking, no doubt a forced state so that he can continue to work on the patients. Loki does not know what has taken place for Stephen's hands to be so injured, but he recognises that the scars are old and that it pains him. 

He had felt that pain many a times before. Even now, in fact, there is a thin, shielded and tampered down pain that travels between them that Loki cannot help but try to pull at, to reduce the strain on the doctor. 

The white coat, a sign of Stephen's role as a doctor, fits loosely around him. Not his own then, Loki surmises. Stephen looks... exhausted. Since Friday, he'd been spending a lot of time at the clinic and Loki can feel the drain on his Soulmate. 

"Mrs Campbell, could you perhaps return to the bed now that you have found Lauren? You really need to be laying down." Stephen says even as he runs his hand through his hair again, his hands starting to betray his exhaustion. 

"Y-Yes of course. I- I'm sorry Dr Strange." The woman says as she avoids making eye contact with Loki. Loki wonders whether he should leave, but Stephen prevents him from leaving. 

"I- Mrs Campbell, if you aren't  averse to it, I would like for Prince Laufeyson to have a look at you. He can see if there  is any bleeding in your brain." Stephen says and that is alarming. 

Loki knows that Stephen had been using magic as he had worked. It's impossible not to feel the activation of his Soulmate's magic. Now that they are in the same space, he can feel Stephen's magic like a presence of  its own. 

The Sorcerer Supreme's magic always felt so clean and controlled but right now, it doesn't feel like that. There is almost a static like nature to the magic and it seems as if it is fraying at the edges. Stephen has been shielding himself pretty tightly from Loki. No doubt to spare him of any negative emotions or pain. 

But that too would have been draining to keep up, especially if the man had been using magic to ascertain conditions of patients and to heal. Given what he knows of Stephen, Loki has no doubts that the man would have been doing just that, though as quietly as possible as the knowledge of Sorcerers were not to be known to the public. 

Loki looks at the woman. 

"I- A-Are you sure? He- I- I know what the news said but-" The woman's hesitation is obvious and Loki merely waits for her decision as he keeps up with the illusion of the fairy for her child. 

"He made a fairy mum!" The girl says with wonder still in her voice as she tries to catch the fairy. Loki smiles at the child. It's impossible not to. The longing he feels for his own child is great and he cannot help but share it. 

"My daughter too loved illusions, though she preferred dragons. Would you like to see one?" Loki asks and the girl's eyes open widely as she nods enthusiastically. 

"Yes!" She all but shouts and with a chuckle Loki focuses and brings forth a dragon, a sparkling gold one, small and chubby and non threatening as possible with wings that flutter around with the fairy in tow. The child's delighted giggles and laughs draws the attention of the other patients in the room. 

"You have a daughter?" The question comes from the mother, who looks less frightened. Loki cannot help but look at the small woman and her black eyes and give her a small nod as his eyes flit back to the girl. 

"Yes. My Hel has beautiful black hair just like your Lauren." Loki finds himself saying, his voice soft as he remembers Hel's childhood. The scant years he'd been able to keep her in Asgard with him. The mother's eyes soften. 

"You must miss her a great deal." She says. Loki can't help but nod as he feels his heart starting to ache with just how much he misses his child. To have her in his arms again would be- he sighs. 

"I do. But Hel is- I cannot see her as I wish to." Loki says and the mother, surprisingly, moves closer to him and lays a hand over his arm. 

"I'm so sorry." Her words of sympathy ring true and from one parent to another, they share the pain of being separated from their child. He gives her a nod and a quick smile as she too does the same. 

"If, if you wouldn't mind, can you perhaps help me? I really would like to get Lauren home." The mother says and Loki is quick to nod. Stephen leads them all back to the bed, where the mother lays down and Lauren curls up next to her, delighted when Loki pushes just a little more energy into the dragon so that it can rest on the girl's stomach and allow itself to be petted. 

Loki lets his hands glow softly green and gold as he works the healing that Stephen requested. As Stephen had worried, there had been a bleed in the mother's brain that required some healing, but nothing too much. 

Lauren is upset to have to have to let go of the dragon, but Loki reminds her that mythical creatures are better off at their own homes and he had merely borrowed them for her. She nods seriously and her mother smiles softly as they leave. 

When they are gone, in the quiet curtained off bed, Stephen and he are left alone. It's only then that whatever tension that had kept Stephen together seems to crumble and the pain travels between  them sharply. 

"Stephen-" Loki starts to say, to perhaps ask if there is something he can do to help when Stephen curls into himself as he cradled his right hand and it is obvious that he is in a great deal of pain. 

Loki can feel it thrumming through their Connection and he can feel the anxiety rise at the same time. Loki considers his options. 

Tony is in a meeting with Pepper and Clea and Loki isn't sure whether he should be interrupting them. Before he can really  think he is moving towards Stephen and it takes all of his effort to stop before he touches the sorcerer. 

"May I touch you?" Loki asks him quietly but when Stephen's anxiety travels  sharply through their Connection and it becomes obvious that fear is starting to be mixed in, Loki knows better. He nods to himself and he speaks quietly. 

"I shall fetch Anthony." Loki says and before Stephen can reply, he teleports. He knows that he can simply speak to the consciousness in the building, but he knows that it would be easier for Stephen were he not to be in the vicinity of the doctor as he deals with his pain. 

Moreover, he does not want to watch... that moment of intimacy and care between the two of them. To watch, to see and to know , but to be unable to experience? No. Loki does not desire that. 

Loki moves himself to where he can feel Tony's presence. Unlike Stephen, who cannot freely use magic in the eyes of the public or the others, Loki can. He relishes in that freedom at least as he moves himself to just outside of the conference room Tony is in. 

He doesn't knock. Loki enters and his eyes  zero in on Tony. Who had been looking down at his watch. When their eyes meet, the understanding is already there. There are others in the room, Pepper, Clea and a few other lawyers and Public Relations managers as they'd been identified to him as. He ignores them all. 

"Where?" Tony asks and Loki offers a hand in lieu of a response. Tony sighs, but he does get out of the chair and moves towards him in quick movements as he talks to the others. 

"Finalise the plans, speak to Jane and Thor and let's get the Fundraiser announced and hold it here. Let's get some of the people from the affected communities as well. Cool? Okay." Tony says as he takes Loki's hand and Loki doesn't ask if Tony is ready. He just moves. 

The pain he can feel from Stephen is only increasing as it goes and it is no doubt due to the Sorcerer no longer being able to concentrate to keep the pain from Loki. He pulls at the pain as much as possible as he delivers Tony to just outside of the curtained bed. 

Tony doesn't stop. He doesn't ask. He just moves and Loki watches him hurry past the curtains before he teleports himself back to his chambers. 

The last thing that he hears is the sound of concern from Tony as he approaches Stephen. A voice that he knows will never be directed at him. 

Loki crumbles as soon as he reaches his bedroom. It's not the magic, it's not the healing. It's the weight of Stpehen's pain and fear of him that burns through him and makes him writhe. He takes every bit of pain and anguish from the sorcerer that he can even as he blocks the Connection and the Bond from feeding his pain to the man. 

It is but little, but it's the only thing that he can do. Even as the pain spreads through his body and he curls into himself, Loki cannot help but feel grateful that at least there is  _ something _ that he can do to atone. 

It's just the price of penance. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**8 May 2011 **

She doesn't let him watch for too long. 

It's bad to see all the carnage, the destruction, the deaths and the horror stories from the people, she says. It's probably true, but Peter wants to. 

He wants to see his hero, at work defending the people of New York and by extension, him. She does let him watch bits and pieces of it because as she says, 'it's a history defining moment' and he should be able to witness it. But she doesn't let him go outside for a while after it. 

Too  many dangers, she says. About possible radiation, the dust from all the debris might contain things that might hurt him and so forth. May's always been protective of him and given just how new this whole adoption thing is and how new it is for her to live with him and to actually care for him, he gets it. 

"Peter! I told you to stop watching the news!" May shouts from across the room and Peter rolls his eyes. First, she wants him to watch the news because it's educational and now she wants him to stop. Really. 

"It's educational!" He shouts back at her as he stubbornly keeps the channel on.  Besides, it's  like a breakdown piece about everything that has happened since last Sunday when the invasion happened and it's fascinating. 

It outlines all of the little things. From how the invasion first started, when the portal first opened around lunch time, how they were lucky that it wasn't during the business day when there would have been a lot more people in the buildings. 

There were still some, because New York, as the newscaster says, is a business centre in the world and stock markets in some other countries were open or something and some businesses work on weekends. Peter doesn't really get all of that, but he figures he doesn't need to yet. 

Worrying about business and money are for adults, as May always says. So he focuses on watching the heroes. The big green guy, the Hulk, the archer who does some amazing shots from what the news helicopters capture, the lady with the red hair that fights like a ninja and of course, the Iron Man suit. 

Somewhere, there's a guy with the shield that he heard about from history class, but that's not who he focuses on. It's Iron Man. 

He remembers going to the expo when he was 8. They only went because May knew that he liked science and he was a fan of Iron Man and because it was free entry. Also, because it was hot and the area near the expo was cool and their air conditioning was broken. 

Either way, they had gone almost every day and night that they could and it had been fantastic. That had been when Peter decided that when he grew up, he was going to be a scientist and technologist like Mr Tony Stark. 

He remembers with some thrill that moment in the Expo when the robot had been about to hurt him and he had raised up his toy glove he'd begged May for, for a solid month before she got the money together to get it for him, up to shoot. 

He remembers hearing the repulsor ray building up behind him and the blast going over his head as he had opened his eyes just in time to see the robot break down. He remembers the way that the Iron Man suit had looked down at him as he had looked up at it and he remembers the mechanical voice. 

_'Good job kid.'_ The mechanical voice said. It had felt so, so incredibly amazing. It was too bad that none of the kids at the school believed him and called him a liar, but that was fine. Peter knew what the truth was. 

He watches as the newscaster talks about the nuke, about Tony Stark flying it through the portal and just as it had done the first time, Peter feels himself praying for Tony to come back. He does, of course, but it's always heart wrenching to see the red and gold suit fall through the air until Hulk catches him. 

Peter holds his breath until he does. 

The newscaster moves on quickly to talk about the aftermath. Peter doesn't like hearing about all the deaths. Everyone in New York knows at least one person that's died because of the invasion and it hurts. He remembers going back to school. He remembers hearing about one of his teachers being killed whilst on an outing to the public library. 

Peter knows about deaths. 

He lost his mum and dad in a car accident not to long ago and he hates being the kid the school knows as the one without parents. He hates that the bullies tease him about not having parents. But that's okay. 

He has May and May loves him and that's what matters. 

Peter holds back the tears as the newscaster talks about all of the buildings that were  affected , the damage done and all the stuff about the rebuilding. 

He doesn't pay too much attention to those. Besides, May has joined him now and it's harder to focus on the news. 

"Hey Pete, I told you that you shouldn't watch too much of this stuff." She says gently as she sits down next to him and pulls him into her arms. She's been doing that a lot lately. 

She says that she needs to get all the hugs in before he becomes too grown up to let her hug him. He swears that he won't and he promises him that he will always let her hug him and kiss him on the forehead as she always does. 

"Yea but Auntie May, it's history and it's educational." He tells her seriously and she rolls her eyes at him, but she doesn't change the channel. Instead, she cuddles him as the news moves onto the press conference. 

The news talks about Dr Bruce Banner, a brilliant scientist that got his powers to transform into the Hulk from a science experiment gone wrong. 

"See? That's why science is dangerous. How about we look at you becoming a doctor instead?" She asks him just as the newscaster explains that Dr Banner is also a medical doctor and has been working at the free clinic at Stark Towers. May sighs. 

"I can be both like him?" Peter suggests as she sighs heavily and nods and mumbles something about the TV just not helping. He laughs. 

The news moves on to explain the situation with Loki and Thor and the brief history of Asgard that they have been able to gather. They also explain that Loki uses magic and Peter can't help but frown. He always does. 

"Is magic real Auntie May?" He asks for the umpteenth time and sigh shrugs her shoulders. 

"Well, I'm not sure Peter. But that sure does look like magic to me." She says as the footage shows Loki fighting and using the glowing lights in his hands to conjure knives and things from the thin air. Yeah, it sure does look like magic. But perhaps it was more like a portal device of some sorts, Peter can't help but think. 

Next research project, he thinks as he continues to watch. 

It's Tony Stark next and he is impressive as he picks up the mic and begins to talk. 

They show the footage of him, the one that they weren't supposed to be filming or something that's like an exclusive  to CNN ? That shows Tony telling the media that they have a choice. To tell the truth or to hide it. 

It always sends a chill down Peter's spine to watch it and it makes him feel all the respect that he possibly can for the genius inventor. 

The press conference footage is cut in with the one from Captain America and like always, May swoons a little when he comes on the TV. Peter rolls his eyes. 

"That man can rescue me any time of the day." May says fiercely and Peter continues to roll his eyes as she tuts her tongue at him. 

"You keep doing that and it's gonna get stuck." She tells him, though it's scientifically wrong. He looked it up. He doesn't tell her though, because he's already told her at least 10 times and she hasn't listened yet. 

Eventually though, the news comes to an end with the announcement of Damage Control, a new branch of the government formed to help clean up the city, a warning about the alien technology and weapons and a reminder that there were still appeals going on for charity to help out the victims. 

Peter and May has already done everything that they could. They took all of the groceries they can spare along with any clothing that they didn't need down to the donation drive to help those in their neighbourhood. Peter made sure that the elderly neighbours in their building had all the food, water and help that they needed because the social workers couldn't come around for a bit. 

May did her volunteering too when she wasn't working. Everyone that could  was doing something to help. It was the right thing to do. That's what Tony Stark had said when the reporters asked him why he had taken the nuke when he knew that it might kill him. 

_ 'Because I had the ability to do it, the power, if you will and with that, comes the responsibility to do what is right. I figured, one life for the  lives _ _ of 8 million people or more was a fair trade.'_ Tony had said. 

One day, Peter thinks, he was going to become a scientist and technologist like Tony Stark and he was going to build himself a suit like Iron Man and he was going to become a hero. Even if May said it was a bad idea. 

"Alright, time for bed Pete. It's late." She tells him when the news is over. He doesn't comment on the fact that she let him watch the whole thing or that it's actually two hours past his  bedtime . He just smiles, hugs and kisses her goodnight. 

"Just don't wet the bed with nightmares!" She shouts back at him as he is about to go into the bedroom. 

"I'm 9 Aunt May! I'm old enough not to do that!" He reminds her. He knows that she is half teasing and half serious. As she said repeatedly to him, she doesn't know what to do with kids. And she probably doesn't know that kids his age doesn't wet the bed. But Peter doesn't mind teaching her. 

When he does get into bed, he curls up and he looks at his nightlight, shaped like the Arc Reactor and dreams of becoming a hero. 

Just like Iron Man. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**8 May 2011 **

He's been too stressed, apparently. 

He's been eating mostly properly, thanks to the regular breakfasts and dinners with a lot more vegetables  than usual , thanks to Bruce having spent so long in India, but he hasn't been exercising lately and he has been stressed. 

Apparently, JARVIS had gone and told on him to Stephen about his raised blood pressure. Which, he definitely was going to have a chat to the AI about, but if this was going to be Stephen's response to him having a slightly elevated blood pressure, then Tony isn't sure if he shouldn't be thanking the AI. 

They don't use blindfolds. After his experience in Afghanistan, it was a bit hard to and Stephen doesn't ask him to wear one. But he does ask for Tony to keep his eyes closed, if he can. No, it's a command. Not  a request . But one that he can opt out of, if he wants to. 

It's a kinder way of doing things, he supposes, as he shudders at the soft blow of air across the back of his neck. 

Honestly, when the doctor had pulled up the display of his vitals onto the screen after dinner and had began to clinically analyse all of it, Tony had thought that Stephen might demand a blood test or a scan or something. 

Instead, the doctor had demanded that Tony strip down, go to the playroom they'd yet to christen and wait for him there, kneeling with his back turned from the door. 

The thrill of excitement had gone through him when he'd heard Stephen's voice. It was  _ that _ voice. The commanding one. That demanded everyone stand up and listen to him because he was in charge and oh boy it was going to be fun. 

Tony is pretty sure he'd almost tripped on the way to the playroom in his excitement. he'd stripped down. He'd knelt and he had waited, buzzing with excitement. 

It's been... difficult of late. He and Stephen hadn't had a lot of time for intimacy and neither the energy. Okay, alright, so they'd had sex a couple of days ago, but that was a couple of days ago and in Tony Stark speak, that might as well as have been a month. Especially when he slept with Stephen in the same bed as him. 

It didn't help that they'd been both exhausted and drained by the end of the day and though they cuddled and kissed, that had been about it and gods he missed this. 

There is a  thick, long  cock being fed to him and Tony sucks it gleefully but with his hands restrained, he has to rely on Stephen to properly feed him the cock. 

He notices quickly that the hand and by extension, the cock isn't trembling as it goes in and out of his mouth. The hand gripping his head isn't trembling either. But the cock tastes and feels the same as he is used to. Tony doesn't open his eyes, but he does cock his head and he hears a soft chuckle behind him. 

"Yes, my beautiful one, he is indeed a clone." Stephen's voice murmurs to him against his ear and nibbles gently on the  cartilage  there as the trembling hands do run down his back. 

Oh. Oh! Tony grins around the cock, delighted. It seems that Stephen had believed him when he'd said that he wanted more magic in their sex life. Granted, sex without the magic was fantastic and he doesn't mind either way but he wants Stephen to be comfortable with himself and with showing Tony his full self and that includes magic. 

"You look so beautiful like this Anthony." Stephen says and Tony moans at the praise. 

Tony is kneeling on the ground, his back straight as it can be with both of his arms strung up to either side. Tony isn't a hundred percent sure anymore, as to whether his arms are suspended by the chains he's built into the room through a discrete builder, or Stephen was using magic. 

There is a slight worry, every time that Stephen uses magic that he may strain himself, but Stephen had reassured him that it was only really magical feats like healing that really strained him. The confident, almost arrogant look in Stephen's eyes as he had explained that he  _ was _ the Sorcerer Supreme, after all, had been so sexy that he honestly couldn't have argued against it. 

Stephen's trembling hands caress him everywhere as he sucks the cock in his mouth enthusiastically. Tony has always enjoyed the art of sucking a good hard cock. He likes the way that his mouth feels stuffed full like this and he loves the feeling of bringing off a lover with just his mouth. 

The caresses, as gentle and as soft as they are , feel like it's more because he can't see. With one of his senses blocked off, everything else feels a bit more intense. 

"If you feel uncomfortable, all you need to do is bite him. I promise you that I won't feel much pain Anthony. But I will know." Stephen says but by the way that his voice is heavy with need and desire, Tony knows that he can feel the pleasure that he is giving the clone.  He redoubles his efforts and delights in the moan that he pulls from Stephen. 

"Now, I do hope you meant it when you said you trusted me to bring magic into our sex life." Stephen says and Tony wonders just what the man is about to do but there is no need to question because he feels it. Like a wash of warm heat inside of himself as he feels the oils? Lube?  _ Something _ dripping out of him as he feels himself becoming almost wet. 

The moan that he lets out is gruttal as he pants around the cock. Two fingers plunge into him, hard and fast and he is speared onto the cock in front of him, though the hand controls his movement enough that he doesn't choke. 

Holy shit! 

It's not just one clone, Tony realises as he feels both of Stephen's hands still on him even as the second one opens him up hard and fast. Not that he needs much because apparently, sorcerers can magically open themselves up or something and this is so fucking amazing that he can't even- 

Tony loses himself to the sensations pretty goddamn  fast. He can feel his own hard cock bouncing as he is finger fucked from behind and face fucked from the front. He isn't even sure where he starts and where the sensations end as Stephen continues to stroke him and caress him and whisper praises and soft words of encouragement against his ear. 

Everywhere around him and in him is Stephen or copies of Stephen and honestly? This is what Tony imagines Heaven would be like. Covered with the presence of Stephen and himself filled with Stephen. 

The fingers are relentless inside of him. They stroke his walls, they explore the inside of him as if there  are no limits, as if it doesn't care if he is about to come or not. 

He tries to hold back. Stephen hasn't given him permission to come yet and by the gods he wants to please the man. He's not even sure when the tears started. But he knows that he is crying only because Stephen is whispering in his ear not to. 

The cock leaves his mouth and gives him a moment to breathe and to beg  and moan .

"Oh God- S-Sir Pl-Plea-Please!" Tony begs as Stephen hushes him. 

"Do you want to come now? Do you want to come with the clones fucking you? Or do you want to wait for me?" Stephen asks and oh it's not fair. Oh it is so, so not fair, Tony barely manages to think as he all but sobs. 

"Y-You. I-I wan-You!" Tony manages to exclaim through the moans, the tears and the mess that is his throat right now. There is a soft chuckle. 

"Good boy." Stephen tells him and the praise is so good. It feels like he's got the right answer and that he is going to be rewarded and he is.  He feels the brush of fabric against his skin and with a start, he realises that Stephen is wearing the fucking Sorcerer's outfit and he was fully fucking clothed and it is- Holy mother fucking shit. 

Tony almost comes from just that realisation and he doesn't have long to dwell on it because three things happen almost simultaneously. 

The cock is shoved back into his mouth, a warm wet mouth envelops his cock and Stephen enters him in  a firm, smooth stroke all the way in. 

If Tony's mouth hadn't been filled, he would have screamed in that moment. As it is, he's pretty sure that he had. Then it's all, far, far too much. 

Between the cock in his mouth, in his ass and the mouth wrapped around him, there is nothing in the universe that could have stopped Tony from coming. And he does. hard and fast into the clone's mouth as Stephen continues to fuck into him, hard and fast, no doubt filled with the pleasure of Tony's lips around his own clone's cock. 

Tony floats. 

He's aware that the clone has pulled out and was now simply supporting his head against the beautiful  shoulders he's so familiar with whilst the other runs soothing hands up and down his body. Stephen is still fucking into him. He can feel his body swaying  in the chains as the clones hold him in place the best that they can. 

By the time that Stephen comes, with a cry of his own and slumps down onto Tony's back, he is so, so far gone into that beautiful, relaxed and calm  headspace that he barely notices. 

He drifts in that relaxation as he is let down from the chains, cleaned up and taken back to bed. He feels the soft velvety texture of something soft and warm wrapping around him, but he doesn't care. He drifts as he cradles Stephen's neck and feels that complete utter safety that he feels in Stephen's arms. 

"S-Stephen?" Tony asks as the doctor's neck leaves his grip but he is still wrapped in that delicious velvety something. Magic? Tony wonders vaguely. One day, he was going to strap the doctor down and get all the answers about magic and maybe run some scans. 

But for today, all he wants to do is sleep. 

"Shh dearest. Sleep." Stephen tells him and it's not a command, but it's all the permission that Tony needs to let himself go completely and he drifts off to that deep, warm sleep as he cuddles into the velvety warmth surrounding him. 

He doesn't quite notice it cuddling him back. 

~~~


	9. The Itch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen and Loki struggle as the itch, the desire and the need to touch each ohter and ground each other grows. But at the same time, all of the baggage between them makes the simple gesture of a touch so incredibly difficult. 
> 
> On the other hand, Jane and Darcy struggles with love and what it all means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
Your less stressed, actually getting ahead on the writing author reporting back with another chapter. 
> 
> Thank you once again for your kind support and understanding of the new posting schedule. With the pressure off a little, it's actually been good for me in terms of both writing one shots and AVO and enjoying the writing process more (because I now have the time to fuck around with it - perpetually burdening Missaness as a result *cough* sorrynotsorry *cough*). 
> 
> I have also gotten myself a Playstation 4 Pro (because retail therapy is a thing when going through grieving process apparently) and am quite enjoying taking breaks from writing angst to faceplant poor Peter Parker onto buildings in New York and getting him killed by street thugs cause... I'm shit at games. 
> 
> But... Most importantly, I just wanted to say... Thank you. Love you. And please leave comments etc so that I can feel that love (... my self esteem isn't tied to the comments and kudos and stuff or anything... it's fine. It's totally cool) if you have the time and inclination to do so. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Monday**

**9 May 2011 **

The itch, the burn, the need... it's growing. 

It's like that feeling one gets after a scab has been formed, only it's under the skin. Kind of that there's bugs crawling under the skin feeling that makes him want to scratch, though he doesn't even know where to scratch .

It comes with that off balanced feeling that he'd gotten and had to deal with for months after Loki's fall. It's that longing and need that is somewhere deep inside of him that cries and screams and demands to be grounded with physical contact. 

It's harder to resist now than before because Loki is so fucking close. It's also worse because Loki feels it too. Even though the god tries, and he _is_ trying to hide it, it crawls between their Connection and just like the lust had done back at the Sanctum a week ago. It's a feedback loop that makes it all the more... worse. 

It hadn't been like this with Tony. Stephen had felt the low key desire to be near Tony and to touch him and to spend time with him, but he hadn't felt this desperate kind of clawing need inside of him and Stephen... hates it. 

It feels like the Connection, the Bond, is telling him that Loki is more valid as his Soulmate than Tony and that's not right. It's not. Stephen knows that. The Connection between them is equal. It is merely because Tony doesn't share the magic with him that his Connection is more... muted. 

And the fact that he'd had sexual intercourse with the god and had settled the Bond somewhat, makes it all the more insidious. 

Stephen takes a deep breath as he tries not to jostle Tony. The genius needs the rest. He is still clinging onto the Cloak of Levitation and he supposes that he will have to introduce the two of them officially when Tony wakes up. 

It'd be impossible not to when the Cloak was all but completely wrapped around the genius and almost purring with delight. Stephen rolls his eyes. 

He is fond of the Cloak of Levitation. It was the first magical Artefact that had chosen him and had the mischievous personality that he can appreciate. The origins of the Cloak  were a bit fuzzy, in the annals of the Mystic Order, but it is incredibly powerful. 

Indestructible, from what Stephen had been able to see, able to change shapes at will or at request, if it so wished to be cooperative and fiercely loyal and protective. The Cloak seemed to feed of the residual dimensional energies about him, which Stephen doesn't mind and when it is not with him, it roams the hallways of the Sanctum at will and feeds off the energy there. 

And apparently, it was now fond of Tony. 

Which is again, not surprising. For the Cloak or indeed any magical being, it would be impossible to tell the difference, almost, between Stephen's soul and Tony's and Loki's. As Soulmates and those Connected to each other, they shared the same... resonance, one can say, when it came to their souls. 

Which is why the Cloak hadn't been able to help him against Loki in the clearing. Stephen sighs when his thoughts reach that point. 

It's- It's still hard. He has managed the breakfasts and dinners with Loki being there, but when it had been just the two of them, he hadn't been able to let the god touch him. 

Even during the breakfasts and dinners, he needs Tony's presence close to him and Loki as far away from him as possible to keep the anxiety, the panic and the fear from manifesting themselves. 

It's like... a primal fear that had been encoded into him now and try as he may, Stephen couldn't overcome it. When he had felt the pain overwhelming him in the clinic, or rather right before that, seeing Loki with the child had been... wonderful and yet  heartbreaking . 

Stephen knew of Hel. He knew of just how much Loki loved his daughter. Knowing that he was separated from her and suffered through that loss was one thing. Seeing Loki interacting with a child and seeing the kind of father that he could have been had he been given the chance? That... that was truly  heartbreaking . 

Loki's gentleness and kindness with the little girl reminded Stephen of the fact that this was the real Loki. Not the emotionally distraught, pushed to the  brink of insanity Loki that he'd met at the clearing. But that hadn't helped. 

Not when he had felt so vulnerable already with the pain. He'd been the one to ask for the god to come down to help Lauren's mother. But he is also the one that had trembled and shied away from the god's touch when he had reached out to help. 

Low on magic and filled with pain, Stephen hadn't been able to wrangle back the fear. Luckily, Loki had understood. He had brought Tony to him, as quickly as he could and it had helped. 

Tony had wrapped his arms around Stephen, had taken him up to the Penthouse, massaged his hands and heated them up with the heat packs and talked about work to keep Stephen's mind off of the pain before cradling him and falling asleep. 

After all of that, Stephen was yet to thank the god. He sighs as Tony curls into him, his head resting on Stephen's chest as the Cloak too moves to fold him into  its embrace. 

The Cloak's ability to sense emotions wasn't something that was documented, but he's not too surprised. The Cloak can be very elusive when it wants to be. Stephen lets the Cloak and the presence of his lover comfort him as he fights back against the urge to do something like portal directly to Loki's room. 

If he knew that such an act wouldn't end up with him on the floor in a panic attack, he would. But he  _ knows _ himself well enough to know that would be the outcome. 

But he can't avoid the god forever either. 

When Tony wakes up, he resolves to talk to the man about the issue. Ask for help. That's what they have agreed to do. Ask each other for help before it gets worse. Besides. This wasn't just about Stephen. It was about Tony as well, considering the fact that the god was also Tony's Soulmate. 

And if Stephen was  feeling unstable and more emotional as a result, then surely, the god was suffering the same and no matter what either of them may feel about Loki, one thing they did agree on was that Loki really didn't need any more pain. 

Still, Stephen can't help but hope that Tony will stay sleeping for awhile longer. It's going to be a difficult conversation and he really, really wants to make sure that Tony gets all of the rest possible and if it means he can put off the conversation for a little while longer, then well. 

Stephen is only human. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**10 May 2011 **

A year. 

She has waited a year to see Thor again. And since she had come to New York, they have spent some time together, but not a great deal. During the day, she was busy doing work for the Foundation and he was busy doing work for the city. 

When that was done, both of them were generally busy with other things. Him with the meetings with the lawyers and her with the Fundraiser planning and helping out at the clinic, even if it meant just holding trays for the doctors.

Pepper and Clea reminded her that she was under no obligation to do so, but Jane couldn't even fathom the idea of stopping. Pepper offered to pay her for her work, but Jane had refused that too. 

Right now, Tony Stark or Stark Industries or Pepper or someone was providing her with food, the biggest apartment she has ever lived in, though she and Darcy has chosen to share, clothing, cleaning services and anything else that she needed. 

Payment was the last thing on her mind. 

Jane had never been financially driven. She only cared about money when she needed to make sure that she had the funding to do her research. Nothing more and nothing less.

And she was going to get that. The contract that Tony Stark offered her was... amazing. As preoccupied as Jane had been about working on her own projects and doing her own thing, she had never considered working for a private company. 

She had thought that it was all too restrictive and privately owned science can be so dangerous, just as government owned science could be, that she never considered it. Well, that and the fact that there was very little interest from the private sector for Astronomy and Astrophysics. 

But the contract to work as a science consultant with Stark Industries, would  give her full creative control over her work and rights over it too, allowing her to decide how her project was going to be used. 

The limitless funding, the ability to have her own lab and resources to be able to do her research at her heart's content at the speed that she wanted to work at? With the salary and the apartment thrown in? 

It was an offer that felt too good. If she hadn't met Tony Stark and Pepper Potts and have spent time with them, she would have never even thought about accepting such a thing. Her dad had always told her that if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was. 

The only thing that the contract stipulated was the need for her to work on cooperative projects with Stark Industries or with Tony Stark. Which, honestly, she had no problems with. She wasn't sure what her skills in Astronomy and Astrophysics could be turned into for  everyday use, but the idea of merely being able to talk to Tony Stark had been amazing that being able to work with him? 

No scientist worth their salt would squander such an opportunity. 

Still. The days for research and all that was still a few weeks away. New York had to calm down and the Foundation work had to get sorted first and they were getting there. Somehow. 

Clea and Pepper were honestly the most amazing women that Jane had the honour of meeting. Their efficiency, brilliance and their work ethic has inspired both Jane and Darcy to step up so that they could be just as strong and just as capable as the two of them were. 

The opportunities provided here has also been quite... amazing for Darcy. With her studies having been in political science, Darcy was savvy with the way that social media worked and she had hit it off really well with Gina Park, who has taken Darcy under her wings. 

With that, Darcy has started  a Twitter and Facebook  account  and  has begun to upload photographs and videos of the Avengers, as Thor and his friends were now called, in moments of their daily lives. 

Darcy's ability with a camera is something that Jane hadn't known about, but she was able to capture moments not just with a professional camera that she had asked for and received, but with her phone and with the help of the AI systems. 

The photos and videos she took of them wasn't the moments of heroism but their  everyday activities. Thor in his casual clothes trying to cook with Bruce, Loki reading, Bruce with his patients, Tony and Thor laughing together and so forth.

The photograph of Loki with the young child and the dragon and fairy he'd conjured up had really, really gone viral so there was that.

Those everyday moments humanised the Avengers and made them relatable to the ordinary people out in the world and it has made a strong and positive change to the way that they were being perceived. 

It wasn't all good news, of course. There were still people afraid of the Avengers and demanding reparations for the damages caused. There were still fears against Loki and belief that the current news stories about Loki's work being publicity stunts. 

But those voices were little compared to the overwhelming public support and appreciation. Though she had been amidst it all, Jane can't believe that she  _ is _ . That she is standing with the heroes of New York and the world as history was being made before her eyes. 

It's a privilege, honour and a burden. 

Because it brings up uncomfortable questions like from Gina and Darcy as to whether or not she was ready to publicly declare her relationship with Thor. 

She understands why they would want that. It would humanise Thor in the eyes of the public and their love can be a sign of how Asgard and Earth can work together. But it's not that easy. 

It doesn't help that Thor has left the decision to her. That is what they have been talking about late into the night after he had made love to her for the first time. 

The thing is, Jane has been burned by relationships. So, despite how strong her emotions for Thor were, she had been hesitant to make the relationship physical. That and... Thor's size and strength.

She feared that he would leave her again and she would be heartbroken and longing for him as she waited for another year or longer for him to come back. 

It doesn't help that he doesn't age at the rate that she does. Her life span is but a fraction of his. But it's Darcy that snaps her out of her indecision as to whether she should take the relationship with Thor to  its logical conclusion. 

It may be a fleeting moment for Thor, but his love for her is clear and that shit like the New York Invasion should be a reminder for her that life can be short for  _ anyone _ and that she should take the opportunity to be happy when she can. 

So she had. 

She had shyly asked Thor if she could stay the night in his apartment. He had smiled and agreed and it was clear to her that he had no intention of making the first move. In the end, it had been her that had seduced him to bed. That had kissed him, that had touched him first. 

It had felt  _ right _ . 

Something inside of her had sung whole freaking  soundtracks as he had kissed her, caressed her. Granted, there had been that moment of pure 'holy shit' when she realised just how big he was, but in that too, Thor had been so considerate and kind and loving that the fear had melted away quickly. 

Thor had spent the time to open her up, to make her come over and over again on his fingers and on his lips until she had been so relaxed and pliant that he had been able to fit into her easily. She had stretched around him and she had been able to fit him like a glove. 

Jane wasn't a virgin. She has had sex before but holy shit. Sex with Thor? Yeah. It had been at a whole different level. It was the kind of sex that you dream about but know you can't realistically have. 

He had been so gentle and so careful with her and his own strength as he had made love to her, but from the way that the thunder clouds had gathered outside of their window, she knew that he too was losing control just as much as she had been. 

Even now, hours after it, she can still feel him inside of her. She can feel that ache between her legs that both feels delicious and just a little painful. She doesn't mind. 

Thor stirs in the bed as he turns his face and curls around her more ; pulling her close to him and holding her tightly against him. Even then, even unconscious as he is, still asleep, Thor is gentle. He is careful. 

Carpe Diem, Jane thinks. Seize the day. 

Thor told her that it was the will of the Norns that had allowed them to meet. That it had been laid out in the very fates that his Soul would Connect with hers and sing. That even if she had chosen not to love him, that he would have loved her. 

That he would have protected her. 

That he had fought and protected Earth for her. Because she was upon this planet. Jane doesn't understand a great deal about magic and the Connection as Thor had called it. She doesn't care. 

It doesn't matter whether it was the Universe's will, or the Norn's or the Fates. All that matters is that she had met Thor and quickly but surely, she had fallen in love with his kindness, his gentle spirit and his strength. 

And that love had sustained her even when he hadn't been  there for a year. She doesn't need anyone to tell her what that means. 

When Thor gets up and everyone gathers for the morning meal, she knows just what she is going to be telling Darcy and Pepper and by extension, Gina. 

Yes. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday**

**11 May 2011 **

Loki can't quite stop himself from shaking. 

Every night. Every damned night, he wakes up, shaking and crying from the nightmares that overwhelm him. He is exhausted and he needs to rest. That is the only thing that makes him go to bed each night. Though he knows he will wake up to the nightmares. 

He checks the shields between himself and Stephen and makes sure that  their  strong. He tentatively checks the Connections and the Bonds and checks to make sure that his Soulmates are resting and has not been disturbed by his unrest. 

They aren't. 

No, Stephen is. The Sorcerer Supreme had spent another day working at the clinic after conducting his own business and work with the Mystic Order and he had already been exhausted when Loki had seen him during dinner. 

But the clinic was short handed as doctors and nurses began to return to their everyday jobs and Stephen had volunteered to fill in and Bruce had been grateful. Loki had been called down a few times to assist and he had gladly, but the physical labour was difficult for a man with problems as Stephen did. 

He was no doubt too exhausted to stir awake when Tony had. The Connection between Tony and himself isn't solid like the one with Stephen. The lack of magic in the inventor is one of the reasons why, but the other is the lack of physical intimacy. 

They've had just enough physical contact for the Connection to build between them, but not enough so that they can actually form a Bond. That's fine. It will come with time as the Connection strengthens. 

Loki lets the comforting presence of the Connections calm him from his nightmares as he wonders what Tony would be doing up so late. 

"JARVIS, may I enquire the time?" Loki asks softly of the consciousness in the building. The female one, called FRIDAY, refuses to speak to him. Once he'd learnt that she had been created for Stephen, he realised why. JARVIS, does speak to him, though his voice is generally cold and matter of fact. 

"It is 2:49am, Prince Laufeyson." JARVIS replies and Loki nods as he runs a dry hand over his face. 

He is so tired. 

The itch underneath his skin is now constant and the need to reach out  and touch Stephen is constant and desperate. But he knows better than to do that. So he doesn't. But the longer it continues, the harder it is for him to control himself and the more unbalanced he feels. 

It's hard to keep the pain, the anguish and the sorrow in his heart from Stephen and soon enough, he knows that something will have to give and he is afraid of what might occur. He wishes that he could discuss the issue, but given the trauma, as the mind healers on Midgard called it, was so deep in Stephen, Loki fears to even mention it to him. 

As for Tony... Loki hasn't had the time to approach the man. 

"Prince Laufeyson, as you are awake, Sir, that is Mr Stark, is requesting your presence upstairs in the lab, if you would be so kind as to join him." The AI asks and Loki blinks. Well, he might get his chance to speak to Tony about the problem he and Stephen were facing then, he thinks as he nods. 

"Of course." Loki says as he pulls himself out of the bed. His limbs feel heavy with the exhaustion of having gotten so little sleep over the past weeks and months and, if he really thinks about it, almost a year. He sighs. 

With a quick wave of his hand, he changes his clothes. He puts on the comfortable pair of leather trousers and a linen shirt that he enjoys. He runs a hand through his hair and makes sure that it's presentable.

He doesn't teleport to the Penthouse. That would have  been against the stipulated rules and guidelines of behaviour that both Tony and Stephen had requested of him. Instead, he leaves his apartment and moves towards the elevator. 

He is not too surprised that the elevator door opens as he approaches. The AI systems within the Tower were so very incredibly clever. It still amazes him that Tony and Stephen have created an Artificial Intelligence system with personalities and by extension, souls. Loki cannot see their souls, but he can feel their consciousnesses and he knows that Thor  _ can _ see their souls. 

It is a miracle. 

A feat that Asgard nor any of the Nine Realms had been able to accomplish. But Tony and Stephen had. The admiration he feels for their abilities and their intelligent minds along with the sheer pride he feels to be able to call them his Soulmates is a comfort amongst all the pain and anguish. 

Loki steps into the elevator. The door closes behind him and the device climbs up the floors until it opens at the private Penthouse level. Loki steps out slowly. 

The Penthouse looks different now. In the night. The windows that Tony had broken to leave with his suit has been fixed. The hole that has been left on the floor as the Hulk had beaten him senseless is gone. But he cannot help but feel a whisper, a reminder of that pain as he looks upon the living room. His remerations don’t last long. 

"Sir is currently in the lab. If you will follow the lights." The AI says quietly, as if he is trying not to disturb Stephen's deep slumber. Loki nods. 

The lights are soft as they illuminate the floor and it is all too easy for Loki to follow them until he reaches the stairs and he climbs down as the lights continue to move. Even as they light the path in front of him, they darken behind him. 

When Loki arrives at the lab, as the AI had called it, he finds himself fascinated. He almost forgets himself for a moment as he sees the array of Iron Man suits, the countless displays of information upon the screens, the whirring computers and the sensation of more consciousnesses. 

Loki frowns for a moment as he tries to locate the consciousnesses and who they belong to. It takes him a moment as he watches a robot whirring by him with a cup of coffee held precariously in  its claw. 

"Thanks Butterfingers. Now, how about you clean up the mess I know you made in the kitchen?" Tony's voice is warm and gently teasing and the robot makes a few whirring noises along with clicks before it moves again. 

"He says that if you prefer that he didn't make a mess you should give him better hands." Loki can't help but translating for the man as the robot's chirps and whirrs form words within his mind through Allspeak. Tony startles and almost spills the coffee but he catches it just in time as he turns to look at Loki. 

"Jesus fucking Christ! You should wear a bell or something or make some noise! No sneaking upon the man with a bad heart." Tony says and Loki notes that Tony's eyes are wide and filled with surprise and fear whilst his hand goes to his chest and smooths it down in a self comforting gesture. 

"Bad heart?" Loki questions with a frown. 

"Yeah. It's- You know what, I guess you have a right to know." Tony says after a moment with a sigh as he clicks his fingers. 

"J, show- wait. Wait. Wait a  goddamn minute. You- You can understand Butterfingers?" Tony asks, and Loki nods slowly as the man's eyes fill with surprise and wonder. The fear is gone, thankfully. 

"Yes. Of course. All Asgardians are gifted with Allspeak as children." Loki tells him even as he waits to hear about Tony's heart. 

"Huh. That- Damn that'd be useful. Well, Butterfings, daddy will consider giving you more fingers when you can learn the difference between the coffee pot and the tea pot." Tony says loudly towards no doubt the robot before he turns his glance upon Loki. 

"Right. My heart. Yeah. J, show him." Tony says. It's obvious that the genius is tired. There are bags under his eyes and his eyes themselves are rimmed red with exhaustion and glassy with the lack of sleep. 

Loki turns to the screen obligingly as the image of Tony's chest comes onto the screen. He doesn't need the man nor the AI to explain what is wrong. He knows enough of the human anatomy to recognise what the scan means. 

"These shards are in your chest. How- How are you-" Loki can't quite get himself to say 'alive', questioning his Soulmate on that matter when his chest tightens at the mere thought of one of his Connections being cut with death. 

Not for the first time, Loki cannot help but think of all the methods available to extend the life of a human being. 

"Because of this. This contains a magnet that keeps the shards from moving and getting into my heart." Tony says as he points to the dim glowing light hiding underneath his shirt. Loki blinks for a moment and he can't help it. 

The natural curiosity that he has possessed since he had been a child with the overwhelming concern he feels for his Soulmate makes him move forward but he doesn't quite reach out. 

He merely stands in front of Tony, his hand raised, the request for permission upon his lips when Tony nods. 

"I'm going to assume that you aren't going to rip out what keeps me alive." Tony says  dryly and Loki is almost horrified that his soulmate might think such a feat possible of him but Tony shrugs his shoulders. 

"Someone I trusted with my life once upon a time, did. If it hadn't been for Stephen, I would have died." Loki feels his hand tremble as those words hits him. He knows his eyes  are wide as he looks up at Tony and the genius meets his eyes squarely before he shrugs his shoulders. 

"Shit happens. From what I heard, your life hasn't exactly been a pleasant stroll through the park either and Stephen- Stephen's had it probably the  worst out of the three of us." Tony tells him and Loki isn't sure if he wants to know or if it would be better if he does not. 

"What do you require of me?" Loki asks as he looks into the caramel brown eyes and sees the determination there. 

"I spent a lot of time thinking, you know? About what you said, about Stephen and all that. And as much as I hate to admit it, you're right. I  _ am _ being reckless and my idiocy  _ is _ putting Stephen at risk." Tony says and that comes as a surprise to Loki as he lowers his hand and waits for the genius to continue. 

There is a guarded nature in Tony's demeanour that alerts Loki to the fact that the man is uncomfortable with this conversation. He was determined to have it, but it was making him feel distinctly vulnerable. Loki steps back and leans against the nearby table as he waits. 

"And you know what? I hate that Stephen needs you. That I'm not enough. But the thing is, I love him enough that I can live with that. I know that Stephen needs you. He needs you to be stable and focused. But when he is near you, he is fighting against that fear and anxiety that he has. I don't want to discuss what you did. I'm just laying out the facts." Tony says and Loki feels the corresponding flare of anger in the genius. That does not surprise him. Loki merely nods as Tony continues. 

He is no longer making eye contact. He looks into the distance as he talks. 

"Stephen needs to be able to deal with his fear for you. I've woken up two professionals that deal with trauma at ungodly hours and got their opinions." Tony says as he sighs and finally looks at Loki again. 

"So I am going to ask you to come down to the lab, here, every day for at least 15 to 30 minutes. You're going to sit still in a chair that I will provide and you aren't going to say anything. If Stephen is uncomfortable and he can't handle it, he will safe word out." Tony says and Loki can only nod. 

"As you wish." Loki says quietly as Tony looks at him. But he can't help but wonder. 

What in the name of the Norns is a safe word?! 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**12 May 2011 **

The champagne is  _ excellent _ . 

Which, Darcy supposes, is a good reason to stick around in this ridiculous situation. Darcy doesn't come from money and she honestly was finding the whole situation at the Tower almost too opulent as it was. 

Then this. 

Holy shit. Well, it's not like Darcy doesn't get it or anything. Both Clea and Pepper were used to money. Clea was born into a middle class family with professional parents and her cousin is the heir to the D'Arte fortune. So yeah, that makes sense. 

As for Pepper, again middle class background and having spent that much time with Tony Stark? She has got to be used to this. 

On the other hand, Jane and Darcy  were feeling like  a fish out of water. Not that the girls weren't making an effort to make them comfortable. It's just... this is shit straight out of the movies. Like Pretty Woman or something. 

Having said that, it's not like they could go to the Maria Stark Foundation's Fundraiser that they have organised in jeans and t-shirts or according to Clea, off the rack dresses. 

Because it wasn't about them. It was about the image of opulence that they needed to display because it was about the public image of Stark Industries and those that work there. 

Darcy gets that. She does. Her years of studying political sciences has made her quite savvy when it comes to PR and according to Gina Park, seriously a legend in the field, Darcy had fantastic instincts. Which she supposes, was why Gina had even let her run the daily updates to Twitter and Facebook. 

Dialling back the snark was hard, but necessary. Darcy wasn't an idiot, after all. 

"So, do I  _ have _ to wear a dress?" Darcy finds herself asking as she looks down at herself and the heels. For one, the heels were killing her  _ already _ and for two, she was pretty sure she was going to break an ankle or at the very least someone's foot and the dress made her distinctly feel... not herself. 

"No. You don't have to. I mean, there are some tuxes for ladies if you are interested in those or I can get Chelsea to bring some  mens tuxes if that's what you prefer." Clea says easily enough and Darcy blinks as she looks at the blonde. 

Clea freaking Strange was an oddball, Darcy thinks. A woman around her age that was so well put together unlike Darcy and that seemed to know so much and apparently experienced in some shit that somehow hasn't become cynical like she had. 

But she can't help but like the chick. Clea had that bubbly personality and boundless optimism that made it impossible not to like her. And the snark. Darcy couldn't forget the snark. Clea was like the classic Hollywood version of the popular girl in high school without the mean streak. Yeah, Darcy likes her. 

"Yeah? I mean, I got boobs so I would totally show them off but this whole dress thing is... you know." Darcy says as she gestures to herself and Clea giggles as she puts her champagne down. 

"Oh trust me, I get you. Like the last function we went to? Pepper and I wore heels and dresses and all that right? Cause you know, expectations, but honestly, at hour one, I was already homicidal." Clea tells her brightly and Darcy is confused as to whether she should be terrified or delighted. 

"It's supposed to be a party and you're supposed to enjoy it so go with what you are comfortable with Darcy." Pepper tells her warmly as she steps out from the dressing room in a gorgeous black dress that hugs her figure just in all the right places. 

For a moment, Darcy forgets that she was  _ not _ enjoying this whole dressing up thing and just gapes before she remembers herself and manages a wolf whistle. 

"Holy shit boss lady! You show them!" Darcy says as Pepper blushes a little and looks herself over in the mirror. 

The store is empty barring them. They've had to stay open late for them to be able to come for the dresses since they'd had to work during the day. The staff were  discreet  and didn't hover. 

It was a good way to wind down, Darcy supposes. They  _ have _ been working pretty much non stop of late and it had been exhausting and difficult. 

The emotional burden of everything that they were handling was heavy and difficult. She had no idea how Pepper, Tony and Clea were juggling the Foundation work on top of their usual Stark Industries stuff. 

But hey, they were clearly superwomen that just could do the impossible. Darcy trudges over, precarious on heels that she's not used to, to the nearest chair and all but falls gracelessly on it as Clea laughs with Pepper. 

Clea has already chosen her dress. A shimmery black dress that she had fallen in love with as soon as she had walked into the shop. 

This... isn't where Darcy had thought that her life had been going when she signed up to work a three month internship with Jane to have something to put on her resume. 

But, even with the heartache of watching Jane falling head over heels in love with Thor and the revelation that they were somehow meant to be etc etc, Darcy is really glad that she had. 

Working with Pepper and Clea and the Foundation and all of it was amazing. It was fulfilling work and she felt like she could actually make a difference in the world. It made some of that cynicism inside of her fade as she looked into the faces of the relieved people that they have helped. 

If it meant that she had to dress up in ridiculous dresses and get make up put all over her face and recite the ridiculous lines to the rich and famous, so be it. If it meant that there were going to be more people that they can help, then that was good enough for her. 

Besides. Thor was amazing for Jane. He brought out the warmth and happiness in her that Darcy had never seen from Jane with any other person. 

She was perpetually smiling now and the warmth in Thor's eyes when he looked at Jane told Darcy that it was going to work out  in the end. That's why she'd been pushing Jane with Thor. Because she had known that it would make her happy. Even if it meant that she would have to let go of her own love for Jane, that was fine. 

As Jane walks out of the dressing room though, in a Grecian inspired dress with an empire waist in black, luxurious chiffon and the gathered neckline in embroidered gold, Darcy thinks maybe, it might not be that easy to let go. 

"Thor is going to throw you over his shoulder and fly you up to bed." Darcy comments as she hides the lust, the desire and her heart beating itself out of her chest. 

Jane smiles that soft smile that Darcy knows is for Thor and Darcy's heart breaks a little more each time she sees that. But it's fine. Because when you love someone, sometimes, it means that you have to let go. 

And Darcy does... love Jane. Enough to let go. 

~~~ 


	10. Negotiation Tactics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is a master of negotiations. Whether it be with people like the Madam Secretary General of United Nations or with the man he loves. 
> 
> If it's convincing someone to do something, Tony Stark can do it. 
> 
> It just... takes some creativity and maybe a pair of cuffs and a knife or two?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people! 
> 
> Your 'OMG WHY DO I HATE EVERYTHING I WRITE?' and thus need to 'rewite everything' author here. (my introductions are getting crazier as the days go on) 
> 
> I am very sorry to report that Spidey hasn't been pancaked on the side of buildings or been beaten up by street thugs cause I keep sleeping and have rewritten chapter 15... 3 or 4 times. God. Okay, Thank you Missa for your infinite patience to read over the chapters over and over again and till I am satisfied (ish) 
> 
> Thank you for your wonderful comments, because as always they keep me motivated and going and I hope you enjoy the fun and drama of this chapter. 
> 
> <3 <3 <3 <3 
> 
> Kira

**Friday**

**13 May 2011 **

It started with a simple 'I'm not sure about this'. 

Stephen isn't quite sure how that has led to this, but given just who Tony Stark is and just what kind of mindset he has, it really, really shouldn't have surprised him that it  _ has _ come to this. 

Because of course when Tony Stark thinks of incentives to do things that he doesn't want to do, he thinks of sex. And _of course_, that incentive leads to Stephen being at the receiving end of said sex. Stephen shouldn't even be- 

"Shit! A-Anthony!" The cry is forced out of him and Stephen's  fingers tried  to clutch onto something, anything, to ground him but there's nothing.  Tony smirks around Stephen's cock deep in his throat and twists his fingers in just the right way that has Stephen  throwing his head back. 

Stephen is so, so very glad that he'd recognised that look in his lover's eyes and that he had thrown up the shields necessary to make sure that Loki didn't get a full download of what was happening between them. 

It would- It would honestly be almost cruel to subject the god to their passions when he cannot partake in it. It was a part of the reason why most Connections between magic users tended to become romantic. It was far more open than any Connection is with those without magic and when they could share all of their experiences... Yeah. 

Stephen clamps down on his control over the  shields even as he tries not to let his body drown with sensations. That is until Tony pops off of his cock, licks his lips and his hard and now dripping cock, clean before sliding up. 

"Changed your mind yet?" Tony asks him and Stephen almost can't recall the question that started all this. 

There is a pool of burning need low in his stomach that demands to be fulfilled and the genius was being a fucking tease about it as he slowly, as if bored, strokes his fingers in and out of Stephen's tight channel even as he casually moves to lay his head on Stephen's raised knee and trails a finger along Stephen's stomach and chest. 

"A-About- An-Anthony please." Stephen begs as he tries to arch into the touch but Tony is quick and firm as he pushes a hand down on Stephen's stomach to prevent him from doing exactly that. 

He really should have known that this is what Tony had been planning when Tony suggested the cuffs. But no. He hadn't quite thought that far ahead. 

He regrets that now. 

"Nah Ah Ah. Not until I get an answer from those gorgeous lips of yours." Tony tells him as he slowly pulls his finger across Stephen's prostate and runs another finger up his cock. Stephen isn't quite sure whether such talents could ever be used outside of their bedroom but Tony Stark knew how to sexually tease someone into probably giving away state secrets. 

Tony isn't doing this or demanding the answer that he wants, for his own good or for himself. Yes, he was most likely very much enjoying the sex and seeing Stephen losing himself to the pleasure that Tony can provide, but this was just a way, Stephen knows, Tony was trying to make things easier for him. 

"I will make a clone and just fuck myself if you won't." Stephen threatens him, feeling stubborn. Tony raises an eyebrow as he pulls his fingers out of Stephen's body, wipes them down with a nearby towel and and luxuriously stretches himself up on the bed, his head resting on a hand and a hand on his thick, hard cock. 

"Be my guest." Tony says and there is a look of nonchalance in his eyes that Stephen knows is an act. Oh, if Stephen did choose to bring out a clone, if he could even concentrate enough to do that, then the genius would most likely, immensely enjoy watching a copy of himself fucking him. 

The easy acceptance of Tony when it came to not just Stephen's magic but the play of magic in the bedroom had been a pleasant surprise. But they both know that as good and as needy as Stephen may be for someone just to fuck him right now after the near hour of being teased and played with, it's not his own cock that Stephen wants. 

"An-Anthony please. We- Don't-Don't you have a meeting soon? Shou-Shouldn't-" Stephen tries to reason with him as Tony runs a finger or two just slowly up and down his inner thigh as he strokes his own cock. 

Even that gentle touch feels like almost too much stimulation. But then Tony has kept  him in this state for some time and Stephen feels as if he's ready to crawl out of his skin.

The thing is, what Tony was suggesting?

He knows that he should say yes. Tony  _ is _ right. He does need to deal with his fear of Loki and the breakfasts  and dinners weren't cutting it. He needed to be closer to the god as the Connection demands it. Touch him. Even for just a moment, let the Connection and the Bond ground itself. 

The solution that Tony has offered is logical and it is healthy though difficult. Stephen knows enough about psychology and more importantly about himself to know that it's the right step towards healing. 

But it's another thing altogether to actually do it. Which is where the apprehension, the fear and the anxiety kicks in as well as the desire... to put it off. 

"You know, if you really don't want to do this, I won't push you." Tony says with a shrug as he pulls himself up from the delicious reclining position and moves until he straddles Stephen's hips and leans down to look down at Stephen. 

"And you know that I'm proud of you and love you no matter what, right?" Tony says and despite the fact that Stephen's hands are tied up to the bedposts, despite the fact that they are both naked and so incredibly very aroused, the words are simply just warm and loving. So are Tony's eyes. 

"And you're handling behind around him well and that can be enough for now. We can pick this up next week." Tony tells him as he gently caresses Stephen's face and kisses him softly, as his other hand trails along Stephen's right arm as if to undo the restraint there. 

Stephen sighs into the soft kiss. He relaxes into the feel of Tony's touch, the warmth of his voice, the comforting nature of his words and somehow, all of those things, the very proof that Tony Stark loves him is what makes him change his mind as he moves his arm away from Tony's hand. 

"Keep going genius. And maybe, just maybe, you might be able to change my mind." Stephen whispers against Tony's lips but that in itself is answer enough. He can't keep the tension completely out of his voice, but Tony understands what the effort being made is and he knows what it means. 

"It would be my pleasure." Tony tells him as he moves down Stephen's body with a wicked wink. As heated and as aroused as his body had already been, it really doesn't take Stephen long to become an incoherent mess. Even less so when instead of Tony filling him, the genius's tight heat envelops his cock. 

"Now wh-what do you say, Stephen?" Tony asks him as he strains to take all of Stephen inside of himself. Given how wet Tony feels, Stephen knows that Tony prepped himself and he wonders when. 

The only time they've had apart had been as Stephen had curled in bed as Tony showered. Which meant the genius had planned this, planned this moment from before breakfast. He had fucking sat there, laughing and eating breakfast with the group, opened up and dripping wet with lube and- Tony Stark was going to kill him with sex. 

Fuck. 

Stephen has to fight against the urge to get his feet underneath his knees and to get the leverage he needs to fuck up into Tony. It has been a little while since Tony's prepped himself and he's not completely loose and Stephen isn't small. The length of his cock fills his lovers usually to the point of discomfort and even Tony usually likes a moment or two to adjust. 

"I- Yes. Yes- P-Please n-Now move!" Stephen bites out, playing the role that he is meant to of reluctantly giving the answer that his lover as been desiring. Tony smiles beautifully, his eyes only half open as he leans down, laying his chest completely down onto Stephen's and letting him feel the hard cock between them before he kisses Stephen's neck. 

"Good boy." Tony tells him as he sucks a mark onto Stephen's neck, high and obvious, a mark of possession and claim that Stephen knows that the genius can't resist before he lifts himself up and looks down at Stephen with a look of satisfaction. 

"Now, as you  pointed out I  _ do _ have a meeting with Madam Secretary Javier. When Loki and I come back from that, we're going to meet you in the lab. When he's gone, I am going to kiss you, get on my knees in front of you and I am going to worship you." Tony tells him steadily as he slowly begins to move his hips. 

"Every time that Loki comes down to the lab, I am going to reward you." Tony tells him as his hips begin to move faster and by the gods, Tony looks good like this, Stephen thinks as he can't help but just look at the man as he  rides Stephen. 

His forehead and chest is gleaming with sweat, his hair a mess his eyes blown wide open, the Arc Reactor glowing softly on his chest and it is all almost too obscene for this early hour of the morning and yet so perfect as Tony chases the orgasm that he wants. 

This is about Stephen. They both know that, but in the way that Tony seems to lose himself in chasing his own release makes Stephen feel like he is merely an object for his lover to obtain pleasure from and his balls tighten at the thought. 

"And me." Tony finishes off his sentence as he begins to stroke himself and Stephen tries not to close his eyes. He wants to remember the way that Tony is now, riding him hard, his chest moving rapidly with the pants, the moans, his head thrown back in the ecstasy of their pleasure, but he can't. 

When Tony comes, spraying his spendings all over Stephen's stomach and chest and his walls clamp down hard around him, Stephen lets out a cry as he too falls over the cliff after his lover as the pleasure travels up and down his spine. 

For a moment, he is lost in the sensations. For a moment, he is so lost in Tony and the warmth and the pleasure that he almost forgets what he has promised to do. 

What his day was going to entail. 

But even when the thoughts do come back to him, along with the freedom of movement as Tony unshackles him and carefully massages his wrists and hands just in case, Stephen can't help but stop Tony for a moment so that he can pull the genius into a kiss. 

"Thank you." Stephen says into the kiss as Tony smiles softly. It's a shared moment of them acknowledging to each other that they are important to each other. That their health and well being was important to each other and that meant that sometimes, they were going to have to push each other. 

That sometimes, they had to do what was best for themselves... not just for themselves but for the other. Even if it was going to be difficult. Even if it was something they wanted to avoid. 

"Now, since you are so thankful, do you think you can go to this meeting for me?" Tony asks and Stephen can't help but laugh as he pulls his lover out of bed. 

They were going to be late and Pepper was going to kill them.

~~~ 

**Friday **

**13 May 2011 **

The work was finally slowing down. 

Slowly, but surely, the number of patients coming to their makeshift hospital was going down as the hospitals got on top of their patient loads. They were still getting patients, because some of them didn't have medical insurance and people were continuing to get injured on the job sites and elsewhere or just becoming ill and needing a doctor. 

The psychological and emotional stress of the invasion can and has lowered the immunity of a lot of people and that meant that they had a spate of patients coming in with colds, flu, infections and stomach bugs. That's fine. They can deal with them and they have been. 

The overall number of people coming to the Tower itself was also being reduced significantly as more charities and government agencies have gotten their resources together to start to lend their aid. 

The work was nowhere near finished. Everyone was aware of that. But the immediate relief that  they can provide to meet the needs of the people? That was coming to an end. Almost. 

Soon, they will need to move onto planning for the long term. Helping people to find jobs if they have lost them, to find them permanent homes if the government can't organise something for them or if it is inadequate for their needs or if they are illegal and fear to go  to the government assistance, which... Bruce has no right to judge and won't. 

Then there were the issues of the long term health effects of the collapsed buildings and the invasion overall along with the psychological effects that will linger for years to come. 

That's why the psychiatrists have remained at the Tower, though the city was coming back to normal enough that they could return to their normal clients. Some of them were interested in the research that was possible with the patients they saw at the Tower. Others just wanted to help where they believed they would be the most useful. 

This hasn't been an easy time for anyone. But like Captain America said during his press conference, now was the time that the world needed to come together, New York needed to come together to support each other and show the power of humanity itself. Through compassion. Through sympathy and through their desire to help. To do the right thing. 

And Bruce saw that spirit all over the city. He didn't venture out into the streets all that much, considering just how occupied he was with the patients, but he has made some home visits and during that time, he has seen the grim but steady way that people worked together to rebuild their city, their volunteer shirts on. 

All over the news, the actions of the Avengers weren't the only ones hailed as being heroes but the everyday people. The police officers, the fire and rescue guys, the EMTs, even just random people on the street were being recognised for helping others during the invasion. In leading people to safety, in rescuing people. 

There were speeches made about how miraculous it was how most of the buildings managed to stay up whilst being structurally unstable as if there had been a hand of a god holding it in place. Bruce doesn't believe in gods but he is glad for whatever it was that kept the buildings from collapsing  and killing more people. 

"Hey Dr Hulk!" One of the  nurses greets him with a smile and a wink as he makes his way into the clinic. 

"Good morning." He replies back as she hands him a mug of coffee and the charts for the day. It's... odd, Bruce has to admit as he takes the charts, the coffee and moves to the lounge set pointed to the windows. Most people don't choose to sit here, since it reminds them of the devastation still lingering outside, but Bruce does every morning. 

After the chaos of breakfast with the others in the morning, Bruce likes to come down to the makeshift hospital, grab his coffee and charts and sit and ponder the state of the makeshift hospital he was in charge of, his patients and New York overall. 

It's a quiet moment that he needs that thankfully, everyone respects. 

It's... odd. To be back in society, for one, after spending so long running from it and hiding from it. Right now, his public persona is big enough, Tony had assured him, that the military won't touch him. For now, he was the Hero of New York and that apparently tied the hands of General Ross. For now. 

The thing is, Bruce used to be so terrified of going back to being a lab rat, of being locked up, of being the monster that he had forgotten how to be a man. He'd done what he could for the people of every place he hid himself in. 

But now, being able to help the people he has  affected the most directly? It's... better. There is a certain peace he can gain from it. 

It doesn't make up for everything. Of course not. But Pepper has promised that once the makeshift hospital had run  its course, she would turn it into a free clinic for anyone that needed it and that he could work as many hours as he wished, legally, here. That... has meant a lot to him. 

He had been hesitant to ask. Pepper and Tony has done so much for him already, protecting him from Ross, giving him a home and a job and a group of people that weren't afraid of him, that he couldn't ask for more. 

But Pepper had read him like a book. 

As the hospital had slowed down, he had  begun to feel that nagging feeling at the back of his head about wanting it to continue and she had seen it and made the offer that he could never thank her and Tony enough for. 

Then there was the job itself. 

Tony had taken him on the tour of the labs within Stark Tower and it was, as Tony had described it back at the Helicarrier, Candyland. There was every type of lab equipment, machine and technology that Bruce could ever have dreamed of, wanted or needed. 

And he would have free reign in it. 

Tony has informed him that he had a group of handpicked scientists that were willing and very much excited to work with him and next week, he will get to meet the team he can  work on his own projects. 

But what interested him the most was the project that Tony proposed for Jane, himself, Colonel James Rhodes when he was able to return from Afghanistan and Dr Strange to work on together. 

The idea was simple. 

Now that they knew that there were threats out there in the universe and now that they knew those threats were real, they should do something to protect themselves. A Think Tank to come up with ideas and work together to build a system of early warning signs and space based defence to ensure that something like New York can't happen again. 

It is the kind of work that will make a difference. Dr Strange had also offered to work with Bruce on a number of medical research projects and Bruce had to admit that he was quite amazed by the man. 

A genius mind to parallel Tony Stark's in the field of both programming and medicine. A man that, despite his intelligence and clear ability, had no arrogance and showed no fear in meeting him. 

In fact, everyone was... amazing. Clea with her straight forward, no-nonsense nature coated with kindness and friendliness that made it impossible for him not to relax and smile around her, Darcy with her snarky and cynical quips  and camera at the ready, Jane and her obvious understated intelligence that burned with passion for her projects... 

Thor and his surprising wisdom and open hearted acceptance and kindness with Loki's quiet  distant nature undercut with his need to see children smiling and laughing, Tony with his incredible genius and generosity... It was... Bruce isn't sure if there ever could be another group of people as unique, as talented and as amazing as they were. 

Then there is Pepper. 

The sharp, clever mind of a lawyer wrapped up in the business world with the charisma and leadership to be able to lead a company of Stark Industry's size efficiently whilst running one of the biggest charities in the world and yet... making the time to talk with everyone and to make sure that everything was going smoothly for them all. 

"A penny for your thoughts Dr Banner?" He hears and he almost drops the coffee cup and indeed the charts as he startles. Speak of the devil, he thinks as Pepper approaches him and gives him an apologetic smile. 

"I'm sorry I startled you." She says. Bruce fumbles with his charts for a moment before he gives her a small shy smile back and shakes his head. 

"Ah no. It's um- I was just um thinking." He says lamely as he gathers himself and puts the coffee down on top of the charts, lest his hand  betray how nervous he is. 

Pepper Potts is an attractive woman. Her strawberry blonde hair always smells lovely and since he had become the Hulk, he'd always been... a little more sensitive to scents than he used to be. 

He can smell the soft whispers of coconut and vanilla and lavender from her and it's all so very pleasant and well suited to her. She gestures to the empty portion of the sofa and he slides over a little to make room for her and smiles again as she sits down. 

"Is there- uh something you needed to discuss with me?" Bruce asks. He can't help but be a little nervous with her. He had always been like that with most women. In a professional context, it was fine but with Pepper, Darcy and Clea, it didn't feel like a professional relationship. 

There was a bit  of work involved, but more, there was a personal relationship. They shared two meals out of the day, for one and there was a certain... almost family like atmosphere as they gathered for their meals, talked about their days and their plans for the day. 

It was the kind of... familiarity and connection with people that Bruce hasn't had for some time. With Clea and Darcy it's easier. They are younger and there is a certain exuberance to them that reminds him of younger cousins. With Jane, her relationship with Thor is so very obvious and now soon to be made public to the world. 

But with Pepper, Bruce can't help the way that his heart skips a beat when she enters the room. He's always been attracted to strong women, intelligent women and Pepper Potts was definitely both and he can't help but admire her kindness and her strength despite the situations. 

"Well, there is one point of business I do need to discuss with you, but before we do that, how are you  doing ?" Pepper asks and there is such genuine curiosity and warmth in her voice that he can't feed her the same line as everyone else. 

He can't tell her that he's doing fine when he isn't. It's the line that everyone has been repeating and he had been caught up in that cycle too, though he knows it's not healthy. He takes a deep breath. 

"It's... been difficult." He says and he doesn't look at her as he speaks. He looks out into the skies. At this angle, he can't quite see the devastation on the streets, but he can see the damaged buildings still standing. It's a stark reminder as always of what has taken place. 

Pepper doesn't say anything. Instead, her small slender hand comes to rest on the back of his in wordless support and he can't help but indulge in the warmth of that contact as he talks. 

"I'm not- I'm not used to all this, you know? People being nice to me and not being scared of me when they know what I am and it feels so good that I'm- I'm terrified that it's just a dream or I will do something, like the Hulk will come out and destroy all this." Bruce's voice shakes. He can't stop it. 

"You won't." Pepper says after a moment as her hand moves so that it actually moves his hand so that they are holding hands. He glances over to her to see that she is looking out the window as well. 

"How can you be so sure?" He asks as he looks at her and she turns to look at him and her blue eyes are so warm and kind that Bruce feels himself warm as if they are like the sun. 

"Because you are good man Dr Banner. JARVIS and FRIDAY have analysed all the footage available of your actions as the Hulk and you never harmed a human being. All the damage to the buildings that the Hulk caused? None of it was done unnecessarily. The Hulk is a part of you and like you, he is a good man." Pepper Potts says, her voice gentle but firm. 

Bruce can't help but feel the tears well up as he hears her words. He hadn't known about the analysis. He hadn't known that Tony would do something like that. But it makes sense, he supposes, if Tony was going to be exposing his staff to Bruce, he'd want to make sure that they would be safe. 

The relief that he feels at the knowledge is one thing. But the sheer strength of conviction and belief in her words is what really reaches him and holds onto him as he struggles to control his emotions. Regardless, the tears gather and falls even as he smiles. 

"Thank you.  _ Thank you _ . It- It really- It really means so much to hear that." He finds his words fumbling over themselves as he tries to express the gratitude he doesn't know how to express. It's almost too much, the way that his heart feels like it's about to burst with the emotions that he feels. 

But Pepper seems to get it as she smiles warmly to him and squeezes his hand.

Her hand is so small in his  but it is so warm and grounding that he can't help but squeeze back as he tries to get a hold of  his emotions. 

"I uh- I'm sorry. It's just-" Bruce starts to try to explain the tears but Pepper quickly cuts him off with a smile. 

"Dr Banner, please don't apologise. It's been a difficult time for you and everyone else. God knows only how many times I've had a cry or two with Clea or Tony or Jane or my secretaries for that matter. God, there was one time last week I had a cry with a random stranger on the elevator." Pepper says and he can't help but chuckle as she laughs at herself. 

"It's fine to break down every now and then and let the emotions out. That's what I'm trying to say." Pepper says in a normal voice once she has calmed down some and Bruce nods as he wipes his  tears  away. 

"Yes. Thank you. I appreciate everything you have done for me. Your kindness and support has been... wonderful." Bruce says and  his gratitude, he hopes will be conveyed as deeply as he feels it. 

"If I can help at all, then good. So. On the note of the business part, do you know your tuxedo size Dr Banner?" Pepper says as she pulls out her phone and Bruce is confused for a moment before he remembers. 

"Oh. The Fundraiser?" He questions as he recalls the numerous conversations that had taken place between the ladies about it. There had been... a great deal of moaning in fact as they had hashed out the details over the breakfast and dinner table. 

"Yes. There is no obligation to attend of course, but..." Pepper trails off and Bruce gets it. It's a matter of showing a united front in front of the media and the public and more importantly, he knew that the bigger media presence and public awareness he had, the safer he was. 

But he does appreciate the fact that no one would be forcing him to  attend if he wasn't... comfortable with it. He smiles and shrugs his shoulders. 

"Honestly, it's been so long since I've been at a party I wouldn't have a clue. I'm guessing you have a date already?" The moment the question leaves his lips, Bruce wants to kick himself. He doesn't, but he sure wants to. Pepper chuckles. 

"Oh gods no. Between SI and handling Tony and this superheroing business and the Foundation, I haven't had the time to date and besides, it's not like Tony's um.. relationship is public so chances  are he'll act as my date." Pepper says in a whisper and Bruce nods. 

It's a shame really. Tony and Stephen were clearly in love and they made a good couple. There was an understanding between them that was almost uncanny and their easy conversations and affections were obvious even in the little glances and touches. 

For them to not be able to express their love publicly... it's sad but Bruce understands the necessity. Even these days, there are those that disdain same sex relationships and for public figures... it's even more difficult. 

"Is there um someone we should invite for you?" Pepper asks as she scrolls through her phone and Bruce shakes his head. The romance that he had with Betty was long dead in the water and Bruce hadn't been anywhere long enough to form friendships , let alone romantic relationships. 

"No. It's uh... been difficult, being an intentional fugitive and all." Bruce says with a shrug and the self deprecating tone Betty had always told him to stop using. Pepper gives him a warm almost apologetic smile as she squeezes his hand one more time as her phone goes off. She sighs. 

"And it's time. Sorry Dr Banner, Tony and I have this meeting that we need to go to. I'll get JARVIS to measure you up, if you don't mind and get a tux ready for you. And I'm pretty sure Darcy will very much like to have a partner to hang off of. She's not a fan of her shoes." Pepper tells him with a smile even as she hurriedly answers the phone and puts a hand over it. 

"Thank you." Bruce tells her,  though he isn't even sure  what he is thanking her for. Pepper smiles and stands up, talking rapidly on the phone as she walks away. 

Bruce remains seated, his hand still warm with the lingering touch of Pepper's as he grasps his coffee cup and sighs. 

There is already a growing noise in the background of patients coming in as the hospital opens  its doors again and he hasn't even looked at his  charts yet. 

Bruce takes a sip of the coffee and starts on the charts. But even as he does, he can't help but wonder what Pepper will look like dressed up in a dress, though he already knows the answer. 

Beautiful. 

~~~ 

**Friday**

**13 May 2011**

The tension is high. 

The Madam Secretary General of the United Nations does not often do clandestine meetings outside of the safety of the United Nations building and  its high security. 

Her personal bodyguards were on high alert and they were clearly displeased with the idea. As far as a  discreet  place for a conversation like this, she supposes that a  hangar is not out of the ordinary. 

Especially if it's private and especially if it's manned and worked by some of the most  discreet  staff out there. If nothing else, Tony Stark really knew how to pick his people, Emily thinks as she looks around. 

There is a table set up with far too many chairs than she had expected, which both surprises her and puts her  on alert  even as the staff serves her tea just the way that she likes it with a small smile. 

Javier was early, but she had expected that a man like Tony Stark would be as well, but he was yet to arrive. She doesn't quite glance at her watch with impatience, because she has blocked out a fair bit of time for the appointment and the man really was handling quite a number of things. 

It was impressive, actually, considering the public image that had once adorned the man, just how much he has  changed in just about two years. 

Going from the biggest manufacturer of advanced weapons to a tech company at the drop of a hat and succeeding at it? That was impressive on its own, but becoming a hero for the people with no mutant abilities, no super powers but with just the product of his genius? 

Being brave enough to not only don that armour and fight against the international terrorists, arms dealers and mutants but to publicly announce himself as the man behind the mask? 

Yes. Tony Stark was indeed a fascinating man with impressive capabilities. It isn't the first time he has taken the  worlds’  stage, but through the New York Invasion, he hasn't just taken to the  worlds’  stage, but he has actively brought others with him and set an agenda that the world could not ignore. 

She can still recall his words echoing through her mind. His call for action. His call for calm and his call for the media to do the right thing to make sure that the public knew the truth, the full truth of the matter so that they can form their opinions.

It had been brilliantly executed and it spoke more about the man's character than any of the previous discussions of his public image. 

The fleet of black SUVs that pull into the  hangar isn't unlike her own. No doubt they are armoured, tinted heavily and filled with security personnel. 

Tony Stark may be a  superhero with the Iron Man suit, but without it, he was just a man. More importantly, Tony Stark was the type of man that knew when flamboyant flaunting of wealth and power was necessary and when it wasn't. 

When the car doors are opened though, the image of the suave and savvy Tony Stark that she was expecting isn't the one that she gets. 

"Seriously Tony! Seriously! There is a time and a place and oh my god, is that a hickey on your neck?!" There is no doubt that the strawberry blonde woman that emerges out from the car after Tony is trying to keep her voice quiet, but it echoes through the  hangar and more importantly, Javier did not get to where she was on wits and political abilities alone. 

No. Just as Tony Stark and the others have secrets, she too has one and her secret allows her to do things that most humans cannot. Javier doesn't react to the conversation. But she does feel her  eyebrows  rise as the woman continues. 

"You  _ knew _ ! You  _ knew _ about the meeting and you couldn't keep it in your pants?! Seriously!" The woman berates him and there is frustration and annoyance in her voice that is only tampered by the fondness that she clearly feels for the man. 

Javier sips at her tea as Tony gives her a grin as he looks at her over the sunglasses with a playful look on his face and in his eyes. 

"Yeah well, when you have a man as gorgeous as that in your bed and there's um... negotiations to be conducted, what can I say? I lost track of time a little. Besides, we got here on time. No harm no foul right?" Tony says with a wink and Javier has to admit that she is a little disappointed. 

She had thought that the playboy image of Tony Stark had been just that. An image. The media was always so quick to make judgement calls on celebrities and famous people like Tony Stark that she had thought that perhaps all of those stories had been exaggerated. 

But perhaps, it hadn't been, she thinks as she tries to adjust her view of Tony Stark as they continue to walk towards the table. They are walking slow and there are pauses as the young woman and Tony talk. 

From the second vehicle, another figure emerges and that does truly surprise her. 

Loki. 

When she had called for a private meeting with Tony Stark, she will admit, she did think that she might see Virginia Potts accompanying him. They were quite a partnership and she assumed that they were in a romantic relationship. Apparently, she had been wrong. 

But Loki? No. She had not quite expected that, though it is a genius move on Tony's behalf to bring him. 

The god is dressed in a black suit. As Tony is. Instead of the dark red shirt that Tony wears, however, the god wears a dark green shirt and instead of a tie, there is a thin gold chain holding his collar together that is both exotic and beautiful. 

"All I'm saying is that you need to practice some restraint. I know that both of you have been going through some stuff and I don't need to know about it, but surely,  _ surely _ , you can keep your hands off each other for a few hours." Pepper says and if nothing else is clear to Javier, it is that Pepper Potts cares deeply for Tony Stark. 

"Yeah well, I needed him to agree to something. And you know me. I'm the most convincing when I'm naked and riding his hard-" If Javier had been sipping her tea in that moment, all of her years of pretending to not hear conversations would  _ not _ have prevented her from spitting the tea out. 

As it is, she's fairly certain that there is a blush starting to spread up her neck that she knows she will not be able to hide. 

"Anthony." Thankfully, Loki interrupts the description of Tony Stark's sex life with a low voice as he approaches the pair. The God of Mischief's eyes meet Javier's from across the distance before they narrow. 

"It seems that the Madam Secretary General is far more than she appears." Loki says and Javier can't quite hide the startle that comes over her as he moves ahead of Tony and Pepper towards her. 

Javier does try to calm down and to hide herself the best she can, but when she sees the look in the gods eyes, she knows that she hasn't succeeded. She sighs and clears her throat. 

"Mr Johnson. Would you be so kind as to ensure that there is no one left in the  hangar  barring Mr Stark, Ms Potts and Prince Laufeyson? I require utmost discretion in this matter." She says and her bodyguard isn't happy. She knows that he isn't. But he will do as she commands. He nods. 

The  hangar  clears out quickly and even the staff that had been  serving tea is escorted out after glancing at her supervisor. There is a flurry of activity as the party approaches the table. 

"Madam Secretary." Tony Stark says as he extends a hand and she stands up to greet him and to shake his hand. She has to admit that the firm handshake wins him back some points. All too often, men would loosely shake a woman's hand in some sort of show of chivalry and it had always irked her. 

Pepper Pott's handshake is just as firm but Loki does not shake her hand. He does not even offer his. He merely sits down, his eyes narrow and suspicious. She gives him a small nod instead and sits back down, straightening the hem of her Chanel suit as she does. 

"Well, Mr Stark, I must thank you for coming and for the location and the hospitality, of course." Javier says as she gestures to the table and takes her tea cup in hand. 

"Don't mention it. I must admit, I was a bit surprised to get the call, but figured you have some things you rather be clarified before we actually enter negotiations. Perhaps something like why I believe Loki? Or maybe something about the possible conflict of interest for a man that owns a company like Stark Industries?" Tony Stark says with a shrug and a shrewd look in his eyes. 

Oh, she was going to enjoy this, she thinks even as she focuses on listening to his  heartbeat . And the  heartbeats  of the others in the hangar space. 

They are all steady and calm and slow enough that she knows that she has a good baseline. When they become anxious and fearful as most people do when they tell lies, she will know. Or at least she hopes she will. 

It is a bit difficult, her ability, when it comes to dealing with people like Tony Stark, used to telling lies and used to putting up a front and the god is no doubt an expert at such things. Still. It is better than nothing. 

"Yes. You are quite correct on the matter. So, shall we start with the first agenda? Why  _ did _ you risk everything to defend Prince Laufeyson? No disrespect to you, your Highness, but you are an alien being that we have no grounds to trust." Javier says, keeping her tone nice and even and polite. 

"Of course. I will allow Anthony to speak on my behalf." Loki says and that is a surprise. She had expected arrogance. Pride befitting a Prince and whilst he seems confident and comfortable, there appears to be no discomfort at having handed over control to a human man. Interesting. 

"You know, I did my research on you, Madam Secretary. Quite a phenomenal rise to power from what I have seen. I'm guessing the little ability that Loki detected had something to do with it, but I think that is just in addition to your general good sense, judgement, political savvy and... discretion." Tony  Stark starts off as he leans back into his chair. 

She almost doesn't notice the way that he pulls out a knife from his pocket with a wink in her direction. The others are looking at her and not at him. And that means that they don't notice the sharp knife that he unfolds and holds against his own hand. 

"Which means that I'm going to trust that judgement and that discretion of yours and share something with you that I haven't shared with anyone. Not even Pepper." Tony says and as he does, Javier can hear his  heartbeat starting to rise as he takes a deep breath and plunges the knife deep into his hand. 

As he does, he doesn't let out a sound, but Loki does. He lets out a gasp and hunches over as if he is in deep pain and his heart rate rockets as he looks frantically over to Tony. 

"Where- Anthony!" The panic and the disdain in the god's eyes are obvious as he stands up almost violently from the chair and pulls Tony's chair out and moves in front of him, kneeling in front of Tony as if nothing matters. Not his position, Javier, the panicked Pepper as she tries to grab a napkin to stem the flow of blood. Nothing. 

The only thing that he can seem to see is Tony as the god's hand reaches out to Tony's impaled hand, trembling as he goes. 

"Anthony why would you-" Loki asks, his voice devastated and shaking as he tries to hold Tony's trembling hand in his. 

"I believe the word is 'Connected', Madam Secretary. Apparently Loki's soul and mine are Connected and he feels my pain as if it is his own. Let's just say that with something like this, I'm pretty sure  he’s  telling the truth." Tony's voice is filled with pain that he tries to hold back as he talks and Javier is speechless. 

How  _ does _ one react to something like that? 

She does note that once she had seen the blood welling from his hand, she had moved to the edge of her seat and she remains there, teetering on the edge trying to figure out what on Earth was going on. 

Tony Stark has planned this. He has researched her. He had decided to trust her with this information and he has decided that the best way to do so was by this reckless display of self harm that raises the stakes and is a physical display that cannot be ignored. 

Loki's reaction and his panic is real. Javier can hear it through his words, his heart rate as he kneels, heedless of his position. Javier can't deny the evidence. 

"Connected?! What- What do you mean?!" The panic and fear and confusion in Pepper's voice is one that Javier share as the god takes a deep breath and looks at Tony Stark. 

"I am going to have to remove the knife, beloved. I am sorry." Loki says and there is true pain in his voice as he grasps the handle of the knife. Tony nods. 

"Yeah. Figured that it would. And um... I'm guessing um..." There is clearly something that Tony wants to know but that he cannot ask with Javier's presence, but Loki seems to get it. He nods. 

"Yes. Most assuredly, yes. I will heal the wound once the knife has been removed." Loki says firmly as he takes a deep breath and takes the knife out. The cry that Tony lets out is brutal and is filled with pain. Javier feels her own heart jump a beat as the blood flows heavily from the hand. 

Loki's hand glows green and gold with magic as he heals and Javier watches with fascination as the gaping wound on Tony's hand closes up and Pepper's offer of the napkin is taken by the god to wash the blood off. 

Javier notices the obvious strain that it has taken on the god to heal as he slumps heavily against his own knee and Tony. 

"Reckless, foolish human!" Loki half  heartedly snarls, before he sighs, looking down at the healed hand before he caresses where the knife had once been with just a finger, as if he is afraid to touch.

"Is it too much to ask that you never do such a thing again?" Loki asks, looking up at Tony, his voice a plea and there is a moment of almost tenderness as Tony looks down at the god before he shrugs his shoulders. 

"It proved the point didn't it, Madam Secretary?" Tony's eyes are sharp as he looks at her and she sits heavily back into her chair and she can only nod. 

The implications of what this means and why the display was necessary and was made for her hits. Loki Laufeyson may be a monster but he can never, ever harm Tony Stark. To do so would be to cause himself pain. 

"Prince Laufeyson cannot harm you." Javier says, her own voice shaking as she tries to calm down from the display of self harm and the magic. Pepper is likewise shaking and barely in her chair as Tony Stark nods nonchalantly. 

"Yes. And furthermore, Loki is loyal and devoted to me. He won't harm anyone on this planet if that is what I desire and need. He feels my emotional and psychological pain in the same way. Fortunately or unfortunately, I can't. I'm apparently not magical enough." Tony says with a shrug and Javier tries to process everything that he was saying. 

"You're- You're implying that Prince Laufeyson is bound by your whims and desires." Javier's horror is obvious in her voice and she knows that the can hear it. Tony Stark leans back his chair and smirks. 

"Luckily for you, I don't want world domination. SI keeps me busy enough and I really do prefer people to be free and happy to make their own mistakes. So. Madam Secretary, shall we continue our discussions?" Tony Stark says and Javier feels the chill go down her spine as she grasps her hands together and takes a deep breath. 

"Yes. Of course." She says and her voice isn't quite steady, but it's as good as she was going to be able to get it. Loki stands up slowly, his movement graceful though he seems exhausted, as he moves and sits back down in his chair. His eyes don't return to Javier. 

They stay upon Tony, wary, as if he is worried that Tony might harm himself again. Pepper too, it is clear is more worried about Tony than about her and their discussions. But Tony Stark is completely focused upon her. His eyes sharp and his mind, apparently even sharper. 

This too had been on purpose. This moment. This revelation of just how  much of a threat that Tony Stark could be. A reminder to her, a chilling one at that, that they were lucky that Tony Stark has decided to be one of the good guys. It's also a warning. 

The discussion continues. The bloody knife sits on the pristine white  tablecloth , staining it and it feels like the warning that it is meant to be. Don't turn Tony Stark into an enemy. 

The world can't afford to make that mistake. 

~~~ 


	11. Friday the 13th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are always machinations, political moves and some truths that are better hidden than revealed in the background of any big incidents. Not that Clea had ever thought that she would become involved in that mess. She also hadn't meant for her friendship with Natasha to be embroiled in all of that. 
> 
> But... that is just what happens when you are friends with a spy, she supposes. 
> 
> Oh and Tony may or may not be in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
Wow! Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments on the last chapter. I am very glad that you guys liked it. It was a really fun chapter to write. 
> 
> I am also going to say sorry for this update being a few hours late. I've had two bad days with pain issues etc and apparently, I'm just tried and grumpy. So I took a nap. It lasted 5 hours... but I figured if I sleep for that long, it's because I needed it right? 
> 
> Also? I have no water. A massive pipe burst outside of my apartment block or something. I am PRAYING that they fix it soon cause girl just wants some instant freaking noodles and it's hard without water. 
> 
> I know I say this every A/N, but thank you for your support. Your comments, kudos and words of support on discord really keeps me going. I really wouldn't be able to write without your wonderful encouragements. 
> 
> <3  
Kira 
> 
> P.S. If you are interested in joining the discord server or want to send me prompts etc... the links to both are in my profile.

**Friday**

**13 May 2011 **

The call catches her by surprise. 

It's late-ish and they have been working all day and all night and they have finally agreed that the Fundraiser was as planned as it was going to be and by the gods, they were sick of digging up dirt on celebrities and looking at lineage of world leaders and their families. 

Clea hadn't quite returned to her room when the phone had gone off. It's odd because usually, all of her phone calls come through FRIDAY. But when the AI usually lets her phone calls just come through, it's something important, so Clea picks it up. 

"Hey." The voice catches her by surprise. 

She had thought that perhaps the call would be from the Sanctum or the Order or her mum. Not Natasha Romanov, but it's a pleasant surprise. 

"Nat? Hi! How are you?" She asks brightly, smiling as she grabs herself a glass of wine. It's a good way to wind down after all the work and apparently, Pepper had gone ahead and ordered boxes upon boxes of their favourite wines from Sydney. 

She can't let it go to waste right? 

"I'm... alright. You?" Natasha asks. Her voice sounds tired. That's not surprising. From the reports that Stephen had been getting from the Order, there  were a lot of people using the black market to get the weapons from the Chitauri, etc ,  some were even trading in body parts. Which honestly, Clea doesn't want to know too much about. 

It all means that SHIELD had been working overtime trying to get on top of the situation and considering the fact that they'd suffered losses both on the Helicarrier and on the ground during the invasion, and is scrambling to deal with the World Security Council  _ and _ the new Damage Control thing that Tony started, it's no wonder that Nat's tired. 

Not that Clea can talk to her about any of that shit. 

"I’m…same." Clea tells her. It would be a lie to say 'good' these days, so alright was her go to. She  _ was _ doing alright. 

She had moments of breaking down into tears as she listened to the stories of those that have lost everything as she works with Pepper, Jane and Darcy with the Foundation, but she was mostly coping. 

Besides, all the funerals for the Members of the Order were done and though she knew she'd probably have a big cry on Sunday when the actual memorial was held for the victims, she was... alright for now. 

"Sorry I haven't been able to call. It's just- It's been busy." Natasha says apologetically. Considering the fact that they'd been talking on the phone at least once a week, it really has been a while, but still. Clea hadn't exactly had the time to reach out either. 

"Me too. For not calling that is. It’s- It’s been busy here too. You know, the usual chaos." Clea says as lightly as she can. She knows that Natasha knows. The spy would have kept up with the activities within the Tower, somehow. 

"Yeah, I figured. How's everything going? I mean- you're okay?" Natasha's voice is kind and worried. 

The spy has come a long way, Clea thinks. 

From not understanding how friendships were supposed to work, or how to let someone into her life, Natasha, it was obvious, truly cares for her and Clea knows that it was a great deal for Natasha Romanov to accept someone and to consider them a friend. It's an honour. 

"It's really okay. Like it's busy but everyone's keeping themselves together for the most part and we're helping and I think that's helping us. Though, if I have to make another guest list for the Fundraiser, I might snap." Natasha chuckles softly as Clea had intended. She smiles softly as she continues. 

"I'm going to be sending you a few invites Nat. To SHIELD, that is. For you, Clint Barton and Steve Rogers to come to the Fundraiser. It's - I mean you don't have to but it'd be nice to see you there." Clea says. 

Oh that's been a hotly debated thing. 

The whole invite the rest of the Avengers or rather , the SHIELD Avengers to the Tower for the Fundraiser when they'd tried to have Loki arrested? Yeah. It was a contentious issue. 

But in the end, they decided that Fury couldn't come and neither could anyone else that was SHIELD. Just the Avengers. Because it would be a good thing for the PR and it would be a good opportunity for them to talk if SHIELD or the world ever needed them to work together again. 

Which it will. 

Clea hates that she knows that. The Council were still working on how to solve the problem of Killian and the ridiculous Extremis virus, even as they are working on tracking down West and then there was the whole Elf problem they were going to face with Dr Jane Foster. Though with her working for Stark Industries, they are also worried about how that event is going to take place. 

"Next week right?"  Natasha asks and Clea hums softly. They'd just announced it, but she gets the distinct feeling that Nat’s known about it for a long longer. No surprise really. 

"Did- I'm assuming Tony got my message?" Natasha asks quietly and Clea almost sighs, but doesn't. 

"Yeah. I made sure he got it. But Nat, that's- that’s fucked up." She says. She has a feeling that no one likes the fact that she knew about the contents of the message, but Natasha had to send it through to her because she knew that Tony wouldn't accept it from her. 

Which was... fair, Clea supposes. She knows that Tony and Stephen weren't exactly pleased about her friendship with Natasha. But neither discouraged it because they trust her and having Natasha working within SHIELD and passing on information and having an open line of communication is useful. Clea sighs. 

How and when did her life become a spy drama? 

"I know Clea. But it's better to be safe than sorry. I- I don't want to get an order to do anyone you care about harm and I know that Tony will hate it, but it's important." Natasha says and Clea gets it. 

If the World Security Council sees Tony as a threat to their existence more than  as a useful tool, then they will move to eliminate him and he was already walking on a tightrope with them. 

"Yeah I know. He knows too. It's going to be okay. So um, what are you up to? I mean, don't tell me if it's work but in  general ?" Clea asks as she takes a sip of her wine. She is going to need more than just a sip soon, she thinks but is pleasantly surprised. 

"I'm on the way to Steve's apartment. I thought I should spend some time with him, bond, you know? Try this new fangled thing called friendship?" Natasha's tongue in cheek expression is almost audible through the phone. 

The fondness that Natasha has for her comes through clearly and Clea can't help but a little bit of joy from that. She smiles. 

"Yeah well friendship is all the rage now. Definitely worth trying. So, what are you and Mr Spangled Pants gonna get up to?" Clea asks, her tone  dripping innuendo and she hears something like a choking sound from the other end. 

"Oh God, nothing like  _ that _ ! Just friendship Clea! Just friendship! He- I think he needs something normal in his life. Get him used to what it's like to be normal in 2011." Natasha says with almost a distressed tone and Clea laughs as she walks out of the kitchen into the living room. 

"Well it's Friday the 13th, I bet most of the 'normal' kids these days are watching horror movies." Clea says with an amused tone. That's what she'd be doing if she hadn't been caught up in all of this and had been so busy. 

She'd be curled up on the couch with her friends from university or with Yinn, Wong and Stephen as they watch horror movies in the small living room with the lights out, trying to scare each other with illusions every now and then. 

Which, by the way? Is super, super tough considering all the horrors they  _ have _ seen and experienced and moreover, when everyone in the room can feel when the next illusion is going to come. But hilarious and fun regardless. 

"Oh. I'll get some popcorn and beer and pick up a few DVDs then." Natasha says and Clea can't help but giggle softly at the idea of Captain America and Black Widow, sitting and watching horror movies. 

"Yeah well it's Friday  the  13th. So pick up  the Friday the 13th movie . It'd be a good start to the Cap's education into horror movies." Clea  suggests and she can hear the engine being cut. 

"I gotta go Clea, I'm at the store. Take care of yourself, okay? And call me if you need anything."  Natasha tells her firmly and Clea can't help but smile as she touches the necklace, a copy of the one she'd given to Natasha, though  hers hasn't been spelled. 

"You too." Clea manages before the phone call ends. 

With the glass in hand, Clea goes to the window and looks out into the night  sky . 

New York is recovering. The night lights that had been on all over the city for the workers to continue working throughout the night to clear the debris from the streets are few and far between now. 

Good. 

Soon, the city will be revitalised with new  buildings, new jobs and new opportunities. Even if in the depths of the city, there  were plots , the black markets and all of that, Clea knows that Natasha and the others will take care of that. Besides, the Order was already  on some of the cases that SHIELD hadn't picked up yet. 

Slowly, but surely, life will return to normal and honestly, Clea couldn't wait for it. 

Clea raises her glass and clinks it against the window, toasting the city she'd grown to love. 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**13 May 2011 **

Tony isn't nervous. 

No. He isn't. He really, really isn't. He is. Oh Gods, he is  _ terrified _ . Okay, maybe not to that level. But he is definitely worried. And nervous and there's that feeling at the pit of his stomach that makes him feel like he might throw up. But he won't. 

Because it's all fine and he just needs to take a goddamned breath because it's going to be fine. It is all fine. 

Besides. He made the precautions and his nervousness wasn't going to help anyone. Unlike the two Soulmates he has, he can't shield his emotions and his reactions. So he has to do it the hard way  by actually controlling himself. And he can do that. 

He totally can. 

He takes another deep breath and runs over the plan in his head. In a few minutes, Loki was going to come down to the lab. Tony set up a chair for him near both Stephen and his workstations. The god was going to just sit there. Not do or say anything. Just sit there. 

And if at any point, Stephen is uncomfortable or if he needs for Loki not to be there, he just needs to say a word, then Loki was going to be gone. 

Tony has asked FRIDAY to keep a close eye on Stephen for any signs of distress and to alert him  discreetly . He has Dr Miller on speed dial, metaphorically speaking, via JARVIS and she's on standby for the call. Just in case. 

It's not like Loki and Stephen hadn't shared space together and Stephen hadn't had an anxiety or a panic attack, but then there had been no physical touches. But this time, there will be. 

They are  in their personal lab. Tony is sitting at his work bench, working on a new Iron Man suit whilst Stephen is at the computer, working on refining the program to  read brain waves for the VR headset that they had been working on for Dr Miller. 

The backlog of their projects is massive and they have a lot of work to do. And it's good to be back in the lab after more than two weeks of not being able to tinker properly. 

It's their way of de-stressing and letting go and it helps. Especially after the huge argument they had that afternoon.

The thing is, as Tony had suspected and Loki had confirmed, Stephen had felt it when Tony had stabbed himself with the folding knife. Tony is the first to admit that it was probably a little dramatic and probably not completely necessary, but it proved the point and it delivered the message that he needed to be delivered.

Pepper's anger and her lecture had been bad and he was pretty sure he was still in the dog house with her. Which, he supposes was fair. Between hiding the Soul Connection thing with Loki and the surprise 'tactic', he really had it coming. That had been a rather um... _uncomfortable_ ride back to the Tower. 

He's also not going to deny that it hurt like a mother fucking bitch and he is never going to be wanting to do that again. 

Also, apparently, stabbing the hand? That was a really bad idea because Stephen had been working. At the clinic. When he'd felt the pain and he'd dropped the vial of blood he'd been holding and he had almost cut himself. Which had been a little horrifying to hear about. 

Luckily, Stephen hadn't had any open cuts and there was no issue with the person that had given the blood, so there hadn't been any contamination issues but Stephen had been in a lot of pain and for that, Tony had been and still is apologetic. 

Stephen's anger at him was justified and his worry for Tony had been justified. Apparently the only reason why Stephen hadn't called him or had portalled directly to him was because Loki had been there and Stephen had trusted that the god would protect him. 

That was at least a step forward, Tony thinks. 

The thing is, Stephen  _ does _ trust the god. Logically and emotionally and apparently, so does his soul. But psychologically, the scar remains on his mind and fear, by its very nature is insidious and impossible. Stephen can’t hold it back, stop it or reason with it. Which makes sense.

The argument between them hadn’t been very long, but it  _ had _ been very heated. Mostly on Stephen’s behalf. Okay, so Tony will admit that he hadn’t been quite able to resist the urge to be the self-defensive jerk he’d been in the past and just apologised. But eventually, they agreed that Tony won't do something like that again and he  _ was _ very sorry. And Stephen had eventually forgiven him. 

But the make up sex? Oh, it was worth the fight. _Almost_. 

He can almost still feel Stephen deep inside him from the way that the doctor had opened him up brutally with a clone, then fucked him so hard and so fast that Tony’s throat still felt hoarse from all the cries, shouts and near screams, as the clone had held him down. 

Oh, it had been  _ hot _ . 

Tony is shaken out of his thoughts as he notices the minuscule movement from the corner of his  eye as Stephen tenses. Loki has agreed to never teleport into the Penthouse level without permission. So he won’t. Tony believes the god’s promises if nothing else. A glance at the screen of CCTV cameras show him coming down the stairs from the main Penthouse level as he had been directed by FRIDAY. 

"Stephen, I’m here." Tony reminds Stephen quietly and there is a subtle nod from him as the god comes down the stairs. 

Tony had meant to just look from the corner of his  eye and throw a greeting but as his eyes turn to look at the god, he can't help but turn all the way around to watch the graceful being walk down the stairs. 

Though Tony had provided everyone with a full wardrobe in their sizes, Loki rarely wore the clothes that the personal shoppers have filled his apartment with. Neither did Thor. Or Stephen for that matter.

From somewhere, through magic, Tony supposes, Loki has been producing for himself tight dark leather pants and all shades of green linen shirts embroidered with gold or silver threads. They are loose and flowing and- holy shit he's hot. 

Yes, Tony is in a committed relationship and happily at that, but he can't help but admire the picture that Loki makes and he hopes that Stephen isn't upset. As he thinks that and turns to look at Stephen, Tony can't help but snicker a little. 

Stephen's eyes are glued on the Norse God of Mischief as he makes his way towards them, his shoulder length black hair pushed back with some sort of oil and his eyes twinkling emeralds. At least on the topic of Loki’s attractiveness, it seems that Stephen and he are in agreement. Oh good. 

"Hey Reindeer Games." Tony calls out to the god and Loki nods as his eyes flit between Tony and Stephen. The god's attraction to them is obvious. 

Tony's heard enough about Loki's history to know that he has a child but also that his first lover had been male. At least all of them are sexually flexible, Tony thinks as he admires the figure the god cuts for a moment longer. 

"Anthony. Stephen." Loki says in that delicious voice of his and Tony really needs to get his mind out of the gutter because it's pretty  goddamn inappropriate to be thinking dirty thoughts about another man- alien- god, whatever Loki is when his partner is right here with him. 

"Loki." Stephen's voice is a little tense, but so far, Stephen's heart rate was staying low. Good, Tony thinks.

Though the implementation of the plan was new, Tony has spent hours talking and preparing meticulously. Tony has spent hours talking with Dr Miles and Michelle Jones about the best way to conduct the 'exposure therapy' concept and he had everything down as much as he can without a professional being involved. 

An environment not associated with any negative memories or trauma, a location where the patient feels safe and in control, with a support person, with the understanding that at any time, they can pull the plug. Done. 

Everyone in the room knows that logically, Stephen knows that Loki won't hurt him. Not again. But Stephen's anxiety and his fears  don't . So a step by step, slow integration is what Tony had planned and what Loki has agreed to. 

During meal times, Stephen had been alright. He had remained mostly calm and mostly ignored the god's presence, though the tension had made it obvious that Stephen was distinctly aware of Loki being in the room. 

That was fine. 

But since Loki had made it clear to Tony that the longer they go without physical contact, the more... precarious the balance and focus in their minds will be, it has become imperative that they push the envelope and that has Tony worrying. He takes a deep breath. 

It really wouldn't help anyone for  _ him _ to be nervous about all this. Tony knows that this is already difficult enough for both Loki and Stephen. Especially Stephen. 

Stephen hated showing  weakness and this? This whole situation, the set up, the careful way that they were choreographing it all, Tony knows, makes Stephen feel like he was weak. That he was failing to keep himself together and to be strong enough to overcome this on his own. Somehow. 

As someone that had similar issues with himself in the past, Tony gets it. He also wants Stephen to know that he will never judge and neither will Loki. All they want is for Stephen to be well and safe and happy. It's at least one thing that he and Loki can agree on.

But, it's... not easy. Accepting Loki.

There is... some resentment in Tony that he can't quite get rid of. A lot of it is obviously due to the god's actions towards Stephen but there is a bit that is... in relation to how he feels about not being enough for Stephen. Not being magical and not being able to help Stephen in the way that the god can.

There is jealousy there of the Connection that the god shares with Stephen that he can't share and though he knows it's unhealthy, he can't help but feel that bit of... possessiveness towards Stephen when it comes to the god. Tony tries not to sigh as the soft tapping of the keyboard starts up from Stephen. 

Tony doesn't let out a breath in relief. Not really. But he does return to his tinkering even as he can feel Loki's eyes flickering between them, watching them hungrily as he always does. 

Loki is... f or lack of a better word, touch starved. After almost a year of torture and isolation, he both fears touch and longs for it. There are so many scars and traumas in Loki's mind  also that Tony knows that they will have to deal with, sooner  rather  than later. 

But as cold hearted as it may seem, Tony finds that he can't worry about Loki for the time being. His first and foremost is Stephen and his welfare and his happiness. It's probably not fair, considering that they are equally Connected, but Stephen is who he loves. 

Eventually, Stephen calms down and his heart rate returns to its normal rhythm as he loses himself in the work. Tony look up at Loki, who looks as nervous as he feels as the god stands up slowly. 

"Stephen, would-" The god starts, no doubt to ask if he can touch Stephen, but the doctor looks up from the computer and looks Loki firmly in the eyes. His heart rate picks up a little, but not enough for Tony to be worried. 

"Would it be- I would prefer it to initiate the contact. Is that acceptable?" Stephen asks and Loki seems surprised, but pleasantly so as he nods. Tony notes that Loki is quick to move his hands behind his back and link them, offering himself up to Stephen to do as he wishes, almost. 

"If you would prefer me bound as to be certain that I cannot harm you, I will not object." Loki says and Tony can't help but picture that in his mind and feel just a bit of arousal pool in his stomach. Okay. He seriously has a problem. He knew that and so did Stephen and  by the gods , he hopes Stephen doesn't mind. 

"No. You've- It's fine. I- I trust you." Stephen says hesitantly as he gets up and he moves. Stephen raises a trembling hand to Loki's face and when his fingers make contact with the god, Tony can almost see it, feel it. 

The way that they both relax as if they had been burning, needing, longing for that touch. Loki's eyes flutter shut as he leans his face into Stephen's hand and Tony can see the way Stephen's eyes zero in on the god's soft parted lips. 

For a moment, Tony wants Stephen to kiss Loki. To see his lover kissing the God of Mischief, his face a mask of pure bliss and his chest taut with the way he was holding his hands back. 

Tony can see that Stephen is tempted. Oh boy, is Stephen tempted, but he doesn't. He  smiles softly, releases a breath he'd been holding and steps back, taking his hand back with him. 

"Thank you." Stephen says to Loki and Tony  feels relief flooding  him as the god nods and before even another word can be spoken, disappears. Tony raises an eyebrow at that, but given the last look he'd seen on the god's face, he can understand why. 

It might not be love, but Loki's desperation and need for Stephen and Tony is... all too obvious. He looks at them as if they are  _ everything _ and he knows that it's difficult for the god to watch them and their love without being able to touch, experience or share it. Tony sighs. 

Well. Step one done, he thinks, though he knows that there will be many more of these nerve wrecking days in the future as day by day, they take this process. 

And maybe, one day, just maybe, Tony can see Stephen and Loki kissing. Or doing- yeah. No. Tony shakes his head of the dirty thoughts gathering and moves to where Stephen is still standing and wraps his arms around the slender waist. 

"So, Dr Strange, I distinctly remember making you some promises this morning." Tony says as he starts to kiss the back of Stephen's neck and Stephen lets out a small chuckle as he leans his head to the side to give him better access. 

"Why, Dr Stark, I believe you did." Stephen says as he turns around in Tony's arms and kisses him. Soft and gentle, just like the kiss Tony imagined that Stephen would give Loki.

"Your reward, your call, Dr Strange." Tony can't help the huskiness in his voice as the arousal pools hard and fast in his stomach. Oh it's only been a few hours since they'd last had sex but when it's Stephen, Tony always wants more.

"Are you still wet and loose for me?" Stephen's voice drips with sex and the dirty words coming out his mouth  are  just delicious. Tony fights back the moan as he nods.

"Even if I'm not, you can make me wet and loose for your cock, doctor." Tony murmurs against Stephen's lips.

He moves with Stephen as the doctor kisses him and leads him towards the empty spot on the desk he'd been working on. The kiss ends on a hard note as he is pushed down onto the table, his chest flat against the hard surface as Stephen deftly  undoes his pants.

Tony hums with anticipation as his arse is bared and his pants pool at his feet. He spreads his legs as much as the pants allow, which isn't a lot given that they'd been tight jeans, but that's fine. It'll make it all the more intense when Stephen fuck-

"Shit! Stephen!" Tony cries out as instead of the fingers he'd been expecting, he feels Stephen's wet tongue against the  wrinkles  of his hole. 

"You taste of me still." Stephen says as he licks into Tony's hole and he barely  breathes as he tries to look for some sort of purchase for his fingers to hold onto. 

Stephen is ruthless as his fingers join in and he begins to finger and tongue Tony open. He's clean. He'd washed himself out after the sex and all that but holy shit. It's- it feels so good to feel Stephen's tongue licking at him and lapping at him, tasting him and devouring him. 

Tony almost feels dizzy as all of the blood in his brain rushes down to his rapidly hardening cock. 

"Ste-Stephen please. Please!" Tony begs for more. He's not even sure what he is begging for exactly, Whether for Stephen's trembling hands to jerk him off or for more fingers to fill him and to stroke at his prostate till he can come or for Stephen's cock to fill him up. 

It d oesn't matter. 

Because it's all up to Stephen and he is at Stephen's mercy, bent over the cold surface of the computer desk, ass bared to the world and moaning and panting and begging as his lover licks and fingers him open as wide as he pleases. 

Somewhere at the back of Tony's mind, he can't help but think that as distressing as this whole exposure therapy can be, it was also going to be a lot of fun. 

A whole lot of fun. 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**13 May 2011 **

He is so young. 

Given the legendary status, the fact that he was a World War II veteran and the fact that he was born in the 1920's all makes it seem like he is older, more mature, even wise. But he isn't. 

Steve Rogers is a man in his early twenties. A man that has dealt with some big problems and  has experienced and seen the horrors of war, but not the time to process it or to actually learn any lessons from it. 

It doesn't help that according to his military records, he has never received any serious combat training, command training or indeed even earned the rank  of Captain . He has accomplished some amazing feats and he had some good leadership skills but he had no foundational knowledge on tactics, decision making, information analysis and more importantly, ethical considerations and legal implications. 

Fury wasn't concerned about the Cap's education and Natasha knows why. It's easier to control and manipulate the man if he feels out of place, confused and is reliant on SHIELD for everything. 

So far, Fury and SHIELD had done the bare minimum. They have provided him with an apartment above his old boxing gym at her suggestion. They have provided him with a basic course on computers and modern technology  like cellphones . A crash course on history since World War II. 

That had been it. 

Aside from the physical training that they did focus quite heavily on to draw out the best speeds, movements and strengths from the superserum inside of Steve, SHIELD really hasn't been interested in developing him. 

As far as Fury was concerned, Steve Rogers had enough of a tactical mind to direct the team on the field and as long as Fury was directing him, it was fine. 

Natasha believed otherwise. 

Captain Steve Rogers, by the virtue of his name, his identity and the legend that has been formed around him, was a man with power and influence and that came with responsibilities. 

The problem was, Steve didn't understand that. 

That's not a surprise, given how carefully managed his public persona had been by the military and Congress at the time and the little exposure that Steve really had to the media back in the 40's. 

But it's 2011. 

The media isn't just the journalists anymore. The media was available on every single person's phone  at their fingertips. SHIELD controls that image for now, but soon, they won't be able to. 

After the press conference, Fury had locked Steve Rogers down, ensuring that there was no more public appearances and Steve got a harsh dressing down for a few hours after that. 

It had left him sullen and upset, but thankfully, Natasha noted, not regretting his decisions. Steve was used to going against orders when he believed that it was the right thing to do. 

The only issue was whether or not he had the right motivations and understandings when he does that. And that? That is something that Natasha wants to work on. 

Which is why she is in Steve's apartment at an unholy hour to avoid Fury's... well, fury. Nick and her were on a rocky footing right now. That's fine. He needs her and her skills and she knows that he can't afford to cut ties with her. 

She doesn't have the public persona, the legend and the  public awareness that Steve has. No. She has a more understated and quiet set of skills that SHIELD needs to utilise for their more unsavoury work. Which is fine with her. 

It's what she was good at and if she was being brutally honest, she knew that sometimes, getting one's hands dirty and doing the objectively 'wrong thing' was necessary for the big picture. 

But that's not what Steve needs to learn. Well no. That's not what she wants him to learn. She wants him to be better. To live up to the legend of being the all American hero that upholds American values. 

"So why are we watching this?" Steve asks  asks he sips his beer and ignores the popcorn she'd brought along. Natasha shrugs as Jason goes at it again with the axe raised high above his head. 

"Because it's Friday  the 13th." Natasha tells him with a shrug. From the corner of her eyes, she can see Steve frowning even as the fake blood sprays across the screen. 

"Okay then." Steve draws out the words and Natasha can't help but smile a little as she leans back further into the sofa and relaxes as much as she can. 

It's been a long hard week of tracking down alien weapons for both of them and dealing with the unsavoury types that sought to use them for nefarious deeds or a quick buck. Either way. 

All of SHIELD was up to their eyeballs trying to track down the weapons and despite Damage Control and the quick manner in which Tony and the US Government  have  become involved, honestly it had already been too late by hour one after the invasion. 

There was nothing that anyone could have done, Natasha knows that and so there was no blame as far as she was concerned. Just work. Having said that, she would have paid mint to have been a fly in the conference room as Fury, some senator or another and Fury negotiated the terms and conditions of Damage Control and the jurisdiction and powers of both Damage Control and the Avengers. 

Given the unique circumstances of the invasion, the Avengers were being given a pass for what could have been described as their vigilante actions and furthermore, the US government was vesting them with the power and ability to act for the good of the people in circumstances of terrorist attacks, active shooters, natural disasters and the like. 

It's a broad law enforcement-esque power that is yet to be passed into legislation, but since Tony had already been operating under similar umbrella of authority through the local law enforcement and working with the other federal agencies and the military, it's not much of a stretch. 

Having said that, with Tony having swept the Avengers trademark out from  under Fury, it was somewhat hilarious to Natasha that by all rights, legally speaking that is, Tony Stark and Stark Industries by extension, owned the Avenger Initiative and the bulk of the members. 

Bruce Banner was signed onto a contract to work with Stark Industries, Thor and Loki were officially signed on as 'consultants' on the Avengers Project, as Tony called it and then there was Tony himself. That left SHIELD with only Natasha, Clint and Steve. 

Not quite the cohesive, loyal to SHIELD team that Fury had envisioned and wanted. Natasha isn't honestly sure whether or not the divide is a good thing, but  she for one, is glad that Bruce and Loki aren't under Fury's control. 

She knows that Steve doesn't want to talk about it, but she knows that SHIELD scientists regularly called upon him to give blood or to participate in testing procedures that were poorly disguised attempts to recreate the super soldier serum. 

She can only imagine what Fury would have ordered with Bruce Banner and Loki. Yeah. She's pretty sure she'd sleep better knowing that no one was trying to recreate the Norse gods. 

"Do kids these days find this entertaining?" Steve asks, confusion obvious as he tries to find something interesting and worthwhile in the movie. Natasha shrugs her shoulders. 

"Honestly? Not sure. But it's a thing. On Friday the 13th, it's meant to be a spooky night so you're supposed to watch horror movies. So I hear." Natasha says  as  Steve chuckles at her dry tone and clear confusion that they share. 

"Are we pretending at normalcy?" Steve asks and Natasha looks at his amused eyes for a moment before she blinks and bursts out laughing. 

Honestly, when she'd come to the apartment to visit Steve, that's exactly what she had been thinking. To try to educate him in today's culture and media so he can catch up on decades of pop culture references and vernacular whilst also unwinding after  a  week of hard missions. 

To be frank, she was worried about his mental health. The psychologists at SHIELD were confounded with him. It's not like they've ever dealt with a patient like him before, a man out of time that had literally gone into the ice believing that he would die at the age of 22 and waking up 70 years later in a world that saw him as a hero and a legend. 

He seemed stable enough to them, which is not a surprise given his strength of character. But it didn't mean that he was alright. He was far from alright. Natasha can see the cracks from a mile away. 

After every mission, she sees it, the look of confusion and horror in his eyes as he looks down upon the faces of the young that turned to crime to try to survive in the city. Even in self defence, Steve tries not to kill and neither does Natasha, but some losses are inevitable when they are dealing with high powered weapons. 

Even after the lessons on history and politics, there was much that Steve didn't understand about the current state of the world. 

"Yeah. I guess we are." Natasha says after a moment with a smile as she digs into the popcorn. For a long moment, there is silence between them as they watch the ridiculous screams, reactions and stupid actions. Before long, they are diving deep into criticising the actions of the teens as they try to survive the attacks. 

"Why can't she just run? Stop looking back!" Steve half yells at the screen as Natasha giggles. It had taken some time, but apparently Steve has become immersed enough to care about the characters and their safety. It's almost adorable, the childlike frustration that Steve vents as he watches. 

So young, she thinks as she pats him on the shoulder and laughs as he yells at the characters again. 

She'd initially come to the apartment to talk to him about maybe going down to the VA and to speak to some of the veterans there. To gain their perspectives on the life that had passed Steve by. But for now, she supposes, the laughter and the frustration that he seems to get out of the movie might be enough. 

Besides, both of them needed this pretence at normal every now and then and if they can just keep pretending and they got good enough at it, maybe they can even learn to understand what it means to be a normal member of society. 

Maybe. 

~~~ 


	12. How Not To Apologise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about time that they talk. 
> 
> Unfortunately, some conversations aren't easy and it is never enough and it is so easy to fuck it up. 
> 
> But sometimes, they go well. 
> 
> Sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful, beautiful people!   
... I didn't go to work today. Well, no, I couldn't go to work today. That's a better term. Ear Infections! YAY -.- 
> 
> Anyway, you might be happy to know that I am up to chapter 18 in terms of the writing and hope to get 19 etc done. 
> 
> A bad attempt at a crack fic that relates to AVO (in a way) has been uploaded so feel free that check that one out and another one shot PWP was written becacuse... I have problems. 
> 
> Anyway. Please enjoy this chapter and remember that all of my characters are growing and evolving. It jsut will take some time and effort. 
> 
> <3

**Sunday **

**15 May 2011 **

The atmosphere is sombre. 

The site chosen for the Memorial is one of the cleared building sites. It is just a block away from  Stark Tower and within  its shadow.

Christine Everhart is glad that she'd been able to keep her job, though it had been touch and go till the other reporters had done the same, given the same narrative on live TV, making it  nigh  impossible to turn the tide. 

There had been pressure from somewhere to keep the story  on the down low , but most of the journalists and reporters had gone with the truth and  now that was the narrative. 

Some of the reporters were fired, but Christine had kept her job and so had her cameraman and though the Network may not have been happy, the rest of her colleagues and the public had respected her work and most importantly, Christine knew that she would be able to look at  herself in the mirror in the mornings. 

So the fact that her dream job of getting the newscaster's desk may have hit a rough patch , it wasn't a big deal. She was okay with that. It was a price worth paying to keep her integrity. 

Looking around at the faces of the people mourning, it dawns on her again, the magnitude of what has taken place. There are people with obvious casts and bandages that signal their injuries as they mourn their loved ones. But that's not all that they are mourning. 

No. They are mourning the loss of their innocence. 

9/11 told them that the US was vulnerable to outside terrorist attacks and that had been a moment when the US  had lost  its innocence and by extension, the  world’s. The problems in the Middle East weren't just problems contained there anymore. That's what people learned. 

But this invasion of the Chitauri Army from outer space? That signalled the end of innocence for the entire human race. 

It's a profound moment and it's a difficult moment. 

There is no one standing on ceremony here. That has been what the New York Mayor had wanted. Anyone was welcome and anyone should be able to grieve equally as they visit the site, see the list of names of people that have lost their lives. 

The large marble monument is the only thing that is in place for what will eventually become a Memorial Park. They called the one for 9/11 Ground Zero. They haven't decided  on a name for this one yet. 

The media has agreed to be respectful. To film from a distance and  not to approach anyone for their stories. This wasn't about trying to get the biggest sob story or horror story. No. The time for that was past. 

This is about grief and allowing the attendees to do just that. To leave them be to wail and cry and scream, if that's what they need to  do . Not to shame them or focus on them or put them across the screens for the world to see. 

To make sure to not monetise their grief. 

There is a line of people as they approach the Monument to see the names of their own family members or their own friends that they have lost. Some people touch the names as they cry and mourn. Others simply look at the name and move on. Some lay flowers at the foot of the monument and the pile is growing ever bigger. 

There are celebrities, millionaires, homeless people, police officers, EMTs, doctors and nurses and just... everyone. There were even children that came to say goodbye to their parents and for once, Christine has nothing to say. 

Most of the reporters aren't saying anything. They are merely observing and grieving with those that are attending the ceremony. 

The big pomp and  circumstance of actually opening the Monument had required some commentary, but now that it was done, all that was left was to record the scene and when they are back at the station, add some music or something. 

Christine doesn't care. If she had it her way, only the ceremony will be aired. None of this bit. Because this should be private. This should be respected. 

But she won't get a say. Not after the stunt she pulled. Like most of her colleagues. Again, that's a price they paid and it's the price they were willing to pay again, if push came to shove. 

That's all she'd been thinking about when Christine spots familiar faces and she is surprised. 

She will be honest, she had expected Tony stark and the Avengers to be a part of the ceremony, but they hadn't been. It had just been the Mayor, the Police Chief and the Fire Chief along with other government officials. 

But there they were, Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Thor and Loki along with Pepper Potts and Dr Strange and a few others that she doesn't recognise. The group is dressed appropriately in black suits with white shirts and black ties. They wait  in line patiently with the others , with single large white roses in their hands. 

It's respectful. 

Christine will admit that her opinion of Tony Stark had been low when she'd first met him and slept with him. She'd thought him shallow and to be frank, a dickhead. When he revealed to the world that he was Iron Man, she'd thought that he was showboating and he wanted recognition. 

But more and more, she was starting to see Tony Stark as a hero. A man that was willing to sacrifice himself for the people of the world and as a leader that wanted to ensure that the world was safe and informed. 

Christine watches as the line moves on and with sombre expressions, the Avengers and their friends make their way to the monument. She doesn't have to tell her cameraman to focus on them. He does so immediately as one by one, they lay their roses and have a moment of silence as they follow the rest of the line. 

They don't stop by the media, they don't talk amongst themselves even. A few of them are crying and they hug each other and comfort each other and she realises that this isn't a show. 

This is a moment for them to grieve, to come to terms with what has happened. Christine finds herself feeling just as sombre and respectful as they are as her respect for them grows all the more. 

It also makes them more human. 

Caught in the grief like everyone else, grieving for the loss of their innocence, the lives and the city that they love. 

Across from the distance, Tony Stark meets her eyes and he gives her a nod and she nods back. The blonde haired and blue eyed woman that is often seen in the vicinity of press conferences for Stark Industries hides her face in his shoulder and Tony pulls her in close and holds her. 

For once, she thinks, there won't be any comments made about his playboy ways as he softly kisses her hair and whispers something to her as she cries. The group moves on, talking softly with each other as they talk quietly to those that approach them. 

There are those that thank them for saving the city. There are others that have questions. They all take the attention in strides and in general, everyone remains mostly respectful as the group makes their way out of the Memorial and towards the Tower. 

Some of the media hesitate and considers following, her cameraman looks at her and she shakes her head. 

"No. Let's- Let's let them grieve." Christine says and he nods quietly as he settles the camera back down. A few of the other reporters take her approach and they too settle back down as they mark the moment. 

And watch the city of New York grieve and remember. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**15 May 2011**

The Memorial gives them all time to think. 

It's not that they haven't been thinking or in their own ways been grieving and processing everything that's happened before, it's just that there is a bit more of that now. 

The mood in the Tower is sombre. 

Even the children seem like they know that something is wrong, though they have known that all along, and they are quieter, more subdued than before. 

There are a lot of orphans. 

That's what happens when something like the New York Invasion  occurs . The Stark Tower houses only a few of them, mostly with their caretakers, whether it be their uncles, aunts, older siblings or grandparents. 

They have taken extra care for the children. They make sure that they can still attend  school and JARVIS and FRIDAY  make  sure to provide them with age appropriate entertainment, but the sombre atmosphere has them down. 

It's Clea that approaches them with the idea. 

It's a good one, Stephen has to admit and one that will help the rest of them too. Children thrive on heroes. Their world view is simple. Black and white, good and evil, like and dislike. 

Besides, they  too could use  some cheering up and seeing the bright eyed innocence of children might help them. So they agree easily enough. 

But of course, being the little shit that she is, Clea saddles them with the children before she runs off with Pepper to 'work'. Stephen isn't upset. He is merely disappointed. More so when she insists that he goes, whilst she lets Bruce stay with the excuse of running the clinic. 

Stephen  had  tried to protest, of course he did, but when Tony had leaned over and whispered a soft please, he'd lost all of his will to fight. 

Like most things when it comes to Tony Stark and Stark Industries, everything happens quickly. It's only midday when the 16 children of varying ages starting with 5 to 14, are piled into the bus that Clea had somehow sourced with the rest of them and take off towards Central Park Zoo. 

The bus driver puts on a playlist of songs from Disney movies as he pulls out and already, Stephen wants to go home or to work or to the Dark Dimension, he doesn't care. 

But despite how unhappy he is to hear a child's terrible rendition of 'I Just Can't Wait To be King', even he has to admit that it's refreshing to see the 'Avengers' like this. 

The bus isn't rowdy. But there is definitely children climbing over Thor as he tries to keep them in place as the bus moves and Tony is telling jokes that Stephen isn't quite sure are age appropriate, but he's got a bunch of the previously sombre kids laughing, so he isn't protesting and Jane was busy at work braiding a girl's hair as she sings softly along with the music. 

Darcy is bracing herself against the seat in front of him as she works the camera. But as refreshing as it is to see Tony interacting with the kids, Stephen can't keep his eyes off of Loki. 

He is talking softly to the younger children, smiling softly and kindly to them as he tells  them stories of Asgard and the Nine Realms. They've ditched the suits and they are dressed in casual clothes and Loki is the same, in his characteristic green linen shirt and leather pants. 

There are two young ones that  have  climbed onto his lap and their faces are lit with wonder as one after another, Loki brings the creatures, the sights and the characters of his story to life with illusions. 

They are beautiful, eye catching and  wondrous for  the children as it is for all of them. Eventually, Loki's soft voice as he tells the story drowns out the music as the bus driver notices and lowers the music. 

Slowly, the other children migrate over, clamouring over the seats until they can watch the illusions. Loki sits in the middle of the back row like the Prince he is upon a throne and regales the children with stories of magic and dragons and battles. 

With all the children gathered around him, Loki's illusions become more elaborate and bigger so that they can all see and the bus is almost quiet but by the sound of his voice. 

Jane settles next to Thor, her hand in his and her head resting on his shoulder as they talk quietly. Darcy is braced upon the seat near the children, recording or photographing on her camera, Stephen isn't sure which.

Tony walks down the aisle and sits next to him and Stephen tears his eyes away from Loki to look at the genius as he settles and gently holds his hand. 

"Did I know that Rudolph could smile like that?" Tony asks quietly and Stephen has to shake his head as he glances at the mirror to see the god and the soft pleased smile on his face as he delights the children. 

"I hadn’t." Stephen says softly and Tony sighs as he looks down at their joined hands. They are at the front of the bus and they have enough distance that they know that no one will hear their conversation. Just in case, Stephen twists his hand and makes certain of that. 

“I- I think we need to talk about you and Loki.” Tony starts softly and carefully. Stephen knows. He had been expecting this conversation for the last couple of days. With how careful Tony had been monitoring him, there is no way that he wouldn’t have noticed Stephen’s… focus starting to slip. 

“I’m- It’s bearable.” Stephen says. It’s not a lie. It  _ is _ bearable, though difficult. With the contact every day, even if it is for a moment, they can be grounded for half a day or so at least. It’s not quite enough, but it  _ is _ enough to keep them going. 

“You need more, don’t you?” Tony’s voice is still soft, but his eyes are sharp and they tell Stephen that Tony won’t accept half answers. 

But he also doesn’t know what to say. 

He does. 

But he doesn't want to tell Tony that. Whether it is because it's a Connection between magic users, or because they've already had sex or because it's a Triumvirate thing as Loki had called it, he doesn't know. 

He'd thought that the physical contact, a touch here and there would be enough. But it isn’t. For the short term, it may be. But on the long term, it won’t be. 

The physical touch is grounding, for a moment or two, but the brief touches aren't enough. It has to be either prolonged contact, like at the Sanctum when he'd pulled Loki into their bed or it has to be... something more intimate. 

"I-" His hesitation must be obvious as he thinks because Tony sighs and brings their joined hands to his lips so that he can kiss the back of Stephen's hand. 

“ You need to tell me. When it isn’t enough and you need more or you need something else, you  _ need _ to tell me Stephen.” Tony’s voice is firm. 

This is a difficult conversation for Tony. Stephen knows that. There is a part of Tony that resents the god more than he will admit to even himself. There is that inherent sense of ‘wrongness’ that comes attached to the idea that your lover, the man that proclaims to love you, needs and may  _ want _ someone else. 

For a moment, Stpehen can’t say anything. 

Partially because he doesn’t know what to say and partially because this conversation, the very fact that they were having it, told him more than any words that Tony could say, that the genius loved him. 

“I will. I- I’m so sorry Anthony. I don’t-” Stephen cuts himself off. It would be a lie to say that he doesn’t want the god. Because a part of him does. And another part of him  _ needs _ Loki. Just as he  _ needs _ and  _ wants _ Tony. Even if he doesn’t love Loki. It’s- fuck. 

“Don’t. Don’t apologise Stephen. It’s not like you have a choice. You didn’t go out there looking. I’m not- I’m not upset with you.” But he is upset, Stephen thinks as Tony sighs again. 

“It’s okay if you need to… have him. I’m okay with that.” Tony says after a moment of silence.

As he hears those words, Stephen is frozen for a moment, shock causing all of his thoughts to come to a stop as he tries to figure out what Tony is thinking, feeling,  _ saying _ . 

He reaches out for the Connection because he needs to know that it isn't hurting Tony to say something like this. That- 

"You still don’t get it. Stephen, I love you. You and me? This? This is permanent for me. And I want- no, I  _ need  _ you to be healthy and stable and as well as you can be and if that means that every now and then, you need to be with him, it's fine. I can handle that."  Tony says and Stephen’s eyes widen as he feels it. 

Their Connection hums softly with love and warmth and none of the pain and anguish that he thought that he would feel from Tony. His surprise must show because Tony shrugs his shoulders. 

"I am, however, going to ask, or demand, if you like, that I be there. I'm a possessive motherfucker and I'm not sharing you with him." Tony says and Stephen is confused for a moment because of the contradictory nature of Tony's statement when Tony gets that wicked gleam in his eyes. 

"I'm sharing  _ him _ with you." Tony clarifies and Stephen wishes that there weren't so many eyes on them or that they weren't out in public because if he could, he would kiss that wicked smirk on Tony's lips. 

"You are ridiculous, do you know that?" Stephen asks him with a dry tone and Tony shrugs his shoulders. 

"Figured that was a part of the reason why you fell in love with me." Tony says and Stephen chuckles softly as he too lowers his head, turns their hands around and kisses Tony's hand softly. 

"Do  _ you _ want him?" Stephen asks after a moment of quiet. The pause is telling from Tony as he ponders the question. The answer is one that Stephen had expected. 

"If I didn't have you, I would have jumped him the first time I saw him." Tony tells him with a dry tone of his own. Stephen chuckles softly and is about to let the conversation go at that when Tony continues with a heavy sigh and a more… subdued tone.

"That would have been curiosity but now, it's... something more. He reminds me of me, Steph. Right after Afghanistan. When we started spending time together." Tony says quietly and Stephen knows better than to interrupt Tony when he is talking in that low, thoughtful tone of voice. 

Tony really has come a long fucking way since they'd started. Stephen couldn't say for other people, but with him, Tony had completely pulled his guard down. There were moments when he was still defensive and tried to hide his emotions, but then given that he's now learnt that Stephen can  _ fee _ l those emotions, he has become more... expressive. 

Of both his emotions and his thoughts. 

Stephen is so very, very glad for it. 

"I was so fucking broken Stephen. Every fucking night, I had nightmares and I would scream and wake up Pepper. I was afraid of her touching me but at the same time, I just wanted to be touched and for it not to hurt. That was three months." Tony says and the implication is obvious. 

"He's spent a year." Stephen says quietly. Tony nods. 

Stephen can't help but hold Tony's hand a little tighter, though the genius doesn't return the strong grip. He is too careful with Stephen's hands to do that. 

"He's not sleeping is he?" Tony asks softly and Stephen sighs as he shakes his head. Loki tries. The shield between them is always up and tight and well controlled. But he doesn't need to feel the god's exhaustion to see it. He wears a light glamour over himself, as Stephen does to hide the silver streaks on his hair, but Stephen can see through it. 

"Do you know when I realised that you were important? Different? To me?" Tony asks as he caresses Stephen's hand, running his fingers slowly up and down Stephen's scarred fingers. 

"When?" Stephen asks softly as he lets the soft caresses fill his heart with that warmth and comfort that he feels when he is with Tony. 

"When I realised that I don't have nightmares when I slept with you." Tony says softly and Stephen is surprised by that as he looks at his lover. 

"Even now, when you aren't in bed with me, Stephen, I have nightmares. I'd love to be able to say that it's your loving presence, but it's the Connection isn't it?" Tony asks, his eyes curious. Stephen sighs and nods quietly. 

"When we're together, our Souls feel  content . Safe. It means that even though our psyches may be disturbed, we won't be plagued  with nightmares ." Stephen should have known that Tony would have realised. 

"The poor bastard needs us doesn't he?" Tony asks and Stephen can only nod. 

"I- Anthony, as grateful as I am for your kind suggestions and acceptance but I- I don't- I don't think I can. With him." Stephen says quietly and Tony nods, his hand moving to cover Stephen's. 

"Yeah I know. I've got some thoughts on that. But let me know. Okay? If- If what we're doing right now isn't enough, you need to let me know." Tony's eyes are pleading, as are his words and Stephen can only nod. Tony smiles. 

"You're becoming sappy, Anthony. Losing your snarky touch." Stephen tells him to change the mood because the conversation was making him want to push Tony down and kiss him and to have his fill of the man and that would most definitely not be appropriate for children. 

The outrageous expression on Tony's face is priceless. 

~~~ 

**Saturday **

**21 May 2011 **

The glitz and glamour and the extravagance is everywhere. 

On the people, on the setting, on the food and drinks, the music, on  _ everything _ . And Steve can't help but feel like a fish out of water in his scratchy tuxedo Natasha and Clint had stuffed him into. 

He's only just gotten here, but he wants to go home, pop off a cap off his beer, take this ridiculous outfit off and watch some trashy television. Alternatively, he wants just to punch some punching bags until he feels numb and tired and can sleep. 

The week's been busy. 

The kind of busy that had him forget the days as he went from one mission to another to another and the blur of faces of the SHIELD agents that he'd worked with seemed to just blend into one. 

The alien weapons and body parts trade was a menace and with the sheer amount of what's fallen out of the goddamned skies, it's not surprising that there is so much of it to track down. 

That's problem one. 

The other was the confusion inside of him and that was keeping him up, making him irritable more than the missions, the constant work and the bloodshed. 

He feels like he's being pulled into two directions. Following orders and being the good soldier that he'd always wanted to be under Fury's  direction on one hand and on the other, questioning everything and forming his own opinions like Natasha advised. 

The latter feels more right, because he has morals and values and he'd always been taught by his parents that it's important to stand up for what he believes in. 

Except, he doesn't  _ know _ what he believes in anymore. This new America that he's found himself in is nothing like what he used to know. The disparity between the wealthy and the poor was even greater than it used to be during his time and whilst they dined on caviar and drank expensive champagne, the kids on his street were struggling to get through the day. 

Aside from that, there were displays of public affection everywhere, the women dressed like the prostitutes his mother had warned him away from and the good strong morals that he'd been imbued with just didn't seem to exist anymore. 

Every night, he woke up to gunshots in the alleyways of the Bronx. He heard the sirens and he tried to help, but he couldn't stop everyone and eventually, he did need to rest and as Natasha told him, that's what the police were there to do. 

But even that feels wrong. He has the power, it's his responsibility to help isn't it? But she is right because he can't help  _ everyone _ and it's draining and exhausting to try. 

The more tired he becomes and more confused he becomes of this modern world, the more he longs for the simpler option of just following the damned orders he is given and just let someone else do the thinking for him. 

He misses  _ his _ New York. He misses his friends, the familiarity of his world and the clear,  unambiguous  lines of good and evil and right and wrong. Instead, all he has are the greys and he just doesn't- He doesn't get it. 

It's even worse when it comes to people. 

Loki? The one that  had  brought the enemy through to them should be punished. But he isn't. Tony Stark had spun the whole story to the point where he'd painted Loki to be a victim of the whole thing. 

But as far as Steve can see it, shouldn't the god be punished for his actions, regardless of his  mind’s state? But then that would mean that Clint needs to be punished as well and Steve doesn't want that. 

Clint has been kind to him. As  has  Natasha. 

It's- It's so difficult to find where the lines are when he's not even sure if there had even been lines in the first place. 

He remembers the war. 

He remembers thinking Nazis are evil and all he has to do is kill them, stop them. Because they were bullies and they were trying to bring a new world order of culling those that were different and that's wrong. 

But as he looks around the world now and the city now and he sees so many different types of people and so many loud ideas and he's just not sure how he is supposed to navigate all of that. 

"Come on, let's get a drink." Clint suggests as he leads Steve away from the flashing cameras and the large groups of well dressed people, smiling and laughing as they talk about one thing or another. 

This is meant to be a Fundraiser. An event to make money and it just seems like that they were spending a great deal of money rather than making it. It feels wrong. 

Clint leads him to the bar. It takes some doing as they are forced to stop every now and then to smile and to accept the gratitude of the people in the fancy clothes. Steve does as he'd been taught and smiles, thanks them back and reminds them about the charities. 

It takes them far, far too long to get to the bar, but they do and Clint orders two beers and hands one to Steve as he easily pops the cap off of one of them before taking a healthy swig. 

Off in the distance, he sees Natasha, smiling brightly in the sleek black dress that is far, far too revealing in his opinion as she embraces a young woman. 

"Smile Stevie, it's meant to be a party. Not a funeral." Clint tells him with almost a warning tone and Steve does smile, because he remembers that at least from all the stupid monkeying around he'd used to do. 

"People are going to want to talk to you. Talk to them. Tell them a joke or two about the 40s, whatever. Just don't let them get you into talking about politics, don't talk about the invasion and when people thank you, just say thank you back. Alright?" Clint asks and Steve wants to say no, because he'd prefer it if he didn't have to navigate this party on his own, but he nods. 

He's not a child. He can do this, he tells himself as the young woman that Natasha had embraced, comes towards him with Natasha. 

"You must be Steve, it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Clea Strange." The woman says as she holds out a hand. Steve grasps it gently and shakes it as she rolls her eyes. 

"Come on Captain, I'm pretty sure you're stronger than that!" She tells him as she exerts some force onto his hand and he is caught off guard for a moment before he finds himself smiling, all of sudden all too reminded of Peggy. 

"Of course. It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms Strange." Steve tells her and his smile becomes a little more genuine as she smiles at him and takes her hand back. 

"Alright, so, I'm one of the people in charge of this monstrosity, so if you have any issues, you come find me, or Pepper, or Darcy or Jane or basically find a woman in charge." Clea tells her and Steve is a little surprised by that when Clea giggles. 

"There may not be a  _ lot _ of women in charge, but there are plenty of us about, especially at this place. Now, make sure you get plenty of food and drinks and I know you can't get intoxicated all that easily, but I would still highly advise that you avoid whatever drink Thor offers you." Clea says with a heavy sigh that has Natasha chuckling. 

"What's in it?" Natasha asks as Clea rolls her eyes. 

"Heaven knows. Thor asked, Loki conjured. Like the  idiots that some of us apparently are, we took one little sip of it each and before we knew it, we were drunk, far, far too happy and making out with each other. Not gonna lie, Darcy knows how to French though Jane was a bit tame for me." Clea says as she pulls a face. 

Natasha is startled into a laugh but Steve can't stop himself from blushing as the thought of two women kissing enters his head. That's not quite right, is it? 

"You kissed- You kissed a dame?" Steve can't help but ask as Clea raises an eyebrow as if she is daring him to judge her before she shrugs her slim shoulders. 

"Yup. I kissed a girl, just to try it and I liked it." Clea says with a wink as Natasha laughs again. 

"You got the lyrics wrong." The smooth voice that intervenes belongs to a man. A tall man. Almost as tall as him and lithe. The black tux that he wears looks soft, expensive and well tailored to his form. He puts a soft hand around Clea's shoulder and kisses her hair softly. 

"Yeah but it works better the way I said it. Please don't tell me you've come to check on my alcohol intake. I thought we promised that I could drink as much as I wanted to today." Clea grumbles as the taller man looks down at her with an indulgent smile. 

"I did. But  _ you _ invited  your dad and Jonathon is going to be so very, very disappointed in you if you start messing with the DJ equipment like last time." The man says to her and that has Clea Strange sighing as her shoulders slump. She pokes the man in his stomach to get him off her before sticking her tongue out at him. 

"I hate you so much. For that, I'm not going to even introduce you to Captain America. Come on Nat. Let's find Darcy and Jane. They need to meet you." Clea says as she drags Natasha off, who just has enough time to nod and issue a greeting to the stranger. 

"Steve Rogers." Steve says as he extends a hand but the other man doesn't take it. He nods and offers a smile, but no hand. 

"Stephen Strange." He says and when Steve pulls back his hand in that sheepish manner, the man lifts his own for Steve to see. They are both heavily scarred and trembling. He feels like an idiot for not having noticed. 

"I do apologise for my cousin. She means well, but she can be a bit overwhelming." The man says with a fond smile and the names click as does the term. Steve nods as he smiles back. 

"It's fine. She's friendlier than most people I've met so far." Steve says and the man chuckles softly as he turns a little so that they can look at the crowd. 

"There will be others, no doubt. If you look, there will be allies and friends here for you." Stephen's low voice is pleasant contrast to the noises of people talking mixed in with the classical music playing. That at least, he can stomach better than the loud music of this day and age. 

"I'm- It's a bit difficult for  me these days. People are so... different." Steve says honestly as the other man hums softly in response. 

"It may seem like that, but fundamentally, people are the same as they have always been. Their outsides may be different and what they present themselves may be different, but they are at the end of the day, people. Our flawed  humanity hasn't  changed all that much." Stephen says and Steve gets the distinct feeling that the man had come over here on purpose to give him this talk, almost. 

"What do you do, Mr Strange?" Steve asks but before the man can answer, a voice interjects. 

"Doctor Strange, Rogers, that's Dr Strange to you." Tony Stark's flamboyant voice is impossible not to recognise as he swoops in from behind them and smiles broadly at the two of them. But his eyes are mostly on Stephen as he speaks. 

"So, have you donated some outrageous  sum of money yet?" Tony asks with a tongue in cheek expression to Stephen, who rolls his eyes. 

"The billion that Anderson already pledged isn't enough?" Stephen asks with almost a bored drawl but there is fondness in his eyes as he looks at Tony, who shrugs his shoulders. 

"Yeah but I don't want to dance with Anderson. I want to dance with you and you know the rules. Anyone that donates over 50 mil gets a dance with me or any one of the 'Avengers' of their choosing." Tony tells him and that's the first that Steve has heard of it. 

"Don't worry Rogers, I'm not going to force you to do it. I got Thor, Loki, Brucie and Natasha on it." Tony tells him almost scathingly before he turns his attention back to Stephen. 

It's clear that their first few interactions have left their mark. Steve knows that he'd been... harsh with the inventor when they'd met, but he'd hoped that the man would have forgotten the hard feelings considering all that they'd gone through together. 

Apparently, he'd been wrong. 

"I must admit, I am tempted to donate the funds and choose to dance with Thor instead." Stephen says and the sputtering expression of outrage on Tony's face is exaggerated, but there's some genuine surprise there. 

"Seriously? You would ditch me for the blond god? Come on! At least show me some good sense and choose Pepper or something." Tony says with a pained expression as the man shrugs his shoulders and chuckles. 

"Well, I might. You never know. I'll leave you hanging and waiting for my decision. Besides, if you wanted me, you should have taken your chance when you had it." Stephen says with a wink and before Tony can even reply, he waves his scarred hands at Steve and wanders off towards where Thor was waving enthusiastically towards him. 

"The little tease." Tony says as he watches the doctor walk off and it seems like he is about to follow but Steve stops him. 

"Tony, I- I just wanted to talk, if that's okay with you." Steve says and the man stops and looks up at him, his caramel brown eyes guarded as he folds his  arms over his chest. 

"You got five minutes Capsicle." Tony says and Steve winces at the nickname as he tries to find a way to say what he wants to say. 

"Look. I just- I think we got off on the wrong foot. Things were a bit heated and I may have said a few things that offended you and for that, I'm going to apologise." Be the bigger man, Steve tells himself as he continues. 

"It's just that I knew your dad and he was a great man and when I first met you and I heard about you, I thought about him and how disappointed he would be with-" Steve doesn't get to continue as Tony simply turns his back and tries to walk away. 

"Tony wait!" Steve says, a little too loudly almost, but the party goes on luckily as Tony turns around and looks at him with his eyes bright with anger. 

"First of all, if you are going to apologise,  _ just _ apologise. There's no 'just' or 'may' in apologies. Second of all, you know jackshit about me. You don't know my old man. So don't squander the  very little  goodwill you have with me by pulling that bullshit out." Tony says before he takes a deep breath. 

"My consultation fees are in the tens of thousands and you can't afford my advice, but I'm going to give it to you anyways. Get yourself a fucking computer. Do some fucking research, educate and inform yourself instead of listening to whatever bullshit Fury and SHIELD tries to fill your head with." Tony says almost harshly before he turns around and before Steve can stop him this time, walks off. 

Tony doesn't get far, but when he's approached by a young woman, the anger that's been in his eyes disappears, he smiles as he greets her and the last few seconds feel like it has never even taken place. 

Steve is almost struck dumb as he watches the way that Tony smiles, laughs and jokes his way through the crowd before he can finally reach the others. 

But the last few seconds  _ have _ taken place. 

"You might not want my opinion, but I agree with him." Clint's voice seems to come out of nowhere as Steve tries to gather himself and put the smile back on his face as he tries to control his strength not to crush the bottle in his hand. 

"I don't." Steve bites out, feeling angry and defensive. It's a bad habit and he knows that. Bucky had warned him enough against being defensive like that. About hating to admit that he was wrong but it isn't helped by the confusion that he feels. 

He'd thought out his words. He had planned this apology and he had hotly debated it with himself. Disappointment fills him and he's not entirely sure where it is from. Tony's words or the fact that he'd screwed up another opportunity to get to know Howard's son, a connection to his past that he can recognise. 

"Well, in that case, drink up super soldier and put that smile back on your face because you're about to meet some ladies." Clint says as he clinks his bottle with Steve's and he does as he'd been instructed to do. 

The beer might not given him a buzz anymore, but drinking that was better, at least, than standing around like an idiot. 

Besides, Fury had given him a job to do. 

~~~


	13. Post-Party Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parties always come with an afterparty... whether it be a private one or a public one. 
> 
> They often also come with mornings that you may or may not remember. 
> 
> Well then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
I am sick as a dog, speaking of which... why do we say that? 
> 
> PSA: When your doctor tells you to use the goddamn ear drops and eat the antibiotics on time, do it. Don't be me. Listen to your doctors. They have the MD for a reason. *sigh* 
> 
> aka. why I am late with the update and why I haven't been able to write. 
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy the chapter, leave me comments to make me feel better and <3 you all!

**Saturday **

**21 May 2011 **

She's... beautiful. 

Even in this crowd of the most beautiful people in the city of New York and around the world, she stands out like a ray of sunshine. 

Her blonde hair, her bright blue eyes and her warm smile makes her shine and Natasha can't keep her eyes off of the younger woman. 

She's talking to the Mayor of New York and Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, her smile bright and her eyes warm as she talks. This infatuation, she knows, is probably not what Clea had intended for her when she extended that generous offer of friendship. 

But it turned out that either Natasha didn't know how to do friendships, or Clea herself was too alluring and simply too attractive for her to be able to stop herself. 

It doesn't matter which. 

All that matters is that Natasha can't keep her eyes off of Clea and that it takes all of her efforts to hide the depths of her regard for the young woman from their interactions. 

"How long?" The soft voice doesn't surprise her. Natasha had felt the younger woman approaching her and she'd noticed her sidling next to her as she settles against the bar with her. 

"For what?" Natasha asks as she sips at the champagne. It's only her second glass and her tolerance is high enough that she can afford to drink a few, even when she's technically on 'duty'. 

"That you've been in love with Clea." There is no judgement in her voice, but there is a definite tone of 'don't bullshit me' in there. Natasha has to do a double take. She isn't easy to read. Even Fury has difficulty reading her and yes, she did have her guard down, but still. It's impressive. 

Well, on that note, everyone that Tony had surrounded himself with was impressive. There wasn't a single person that either wasn't extremely talented in one thing or another in his inner circle. 

Natasha wonders if it's just Tony and him choosing the surround him with people like that or whether it was more... just his ability to bring that something special out of people. 

It's hard to tell. 

"It takes one to know one." The woman says with a sardonic tone as she settles her elbows on the bar behind her. 

"How long has it been for you?" Natasha asks instead of answering and Darcy Lewis huffs out a dry laugh as she downs the rest of her glass of  its  contents. 

"Too long." She says, her voice sad and quiet and Natasha has to admit, there is a certain kinship she feels when she hears that. She  also sighs as she leans back against the bar a little more. 

"Darcy Lewis, by the way, I figured you SHIELD types would already know, but it's only polite." Darcy says as she holds out a hand and Natasha shakes it firmly as she takes a moment to look over the woman. 

Her mousy brown hair is styled into curls that fall deliciously around her sharp, angular face and she's not dressed in the sleek dresses like most of the women at the Fundraiser. Instead, she wears a well tailored black tuxedo like outfit. 

The pants are wide and almost like skirts as they flow down her legs, though they do hug her buttocks rather well and the tuxedo jacket, if one can call it that, is tight and short and the girl's ample breasts are held up and on display through the lacy bra that she wears. 

The dark red lips seems to be the only overt bit of  makeup that she is wearing and over all, she forms a picture that is both absolutely gorgeous as well as unique. Natasha can't help but admire her a little before she smiles. 

"Natasha Romanov." She says and Darcy smiles before she gestures to Natasha's almost empty glass. 

"You gonna have another one? Cause I need another one." It doesn't take a genius to figure out why. On the dance floor, Thor is dancing with Jane, who looks every bit like a goddess, as no doubt Pepper and Clea intended her to, in the empire waist dress that is clearly classically inspired. 

The two of them look good, Natasha thinks. They also look incredibly happy and in love and yeah. She can see why Darcy needs another drink. Or two. She nods. 

"Yeah, I'll take another one." Natasha says as she downs the rest of her drink too. Darcy is already turning around to the bartender and demanding drinks. They wait and watch as their drinks are being made and for a while, they are silent but Natasha has to admit that it's kind of nice to have the presence of Darcy there with her as she mulls over her emotions. 

It hadn't been her intention to fall in love. It really hadn't. But she had been like a moth to  a flame and she hadn't been able to resist falling for the bright girl and her warm offer of kindness and friendship. 

She kept her feelings  under wraps , of course, and she had no intention of acting upon it. 

As she had told Clint, Clea didn't need her to bring her down to her level and more importantly, Clea belonged in the light with someone that could be there for her all of the time. Not in the shadows where Natasha lived. 

"How do you deal with it?" Natasha can't help but ask once the drinks are in their hands. Another glass of champagne for her and something ridiculously blue for Darcy. 

"It helps that I know that Jane doesn't swing much my way and being her friend is better than not having her around at all. You know." It's not a question. A statement. One that Natasha can only nod in agreement with. 

In that agreement and with the music in the background, they turn back around to watch the party-goers. 

The Fundraiser portion of the night was winding down. Everyone has done their networking and the push and pull to get the funds are done. The auctions for dances with the Avengers were done and Natasha has paid her dues, as had the others. 

Now, everyone mingled more or less with their friendship groups as they actually enjoy the party. The free flowing alcohol has everyone pleasantly buzzed it's clear that for the night, they were trying their best to put the political world and the realities of the New York Invasion and  its  aftermath behind them. 

It's been a trying few weeks for almost anyone with any sort of political power and influence and a night like this, where they can both pay their dues and yet forget the horrors is probably one that everyone here had needed. 

Soon, Natasha, Clint and Steve will have to go back to SHIELD Headquarters. They will have to make their reports of what they have seen of the party and the group dynamics. To report back on any 'weaknesses' that they have been able to spot. 

Natasha doesn't plan to and she knows that Clint does not either. Steve, she can't be sure about. He has been struggling with the modern world as it is and she knows that it has been difficult for him. It probably doesn't help that she's pushing him to think for himself when he still hasn't fully dealt with the traumas of his life before he even went under the ice. 

She just hopes that eventually, Steve Rogers can be the man that he  should be. A beacon of morality and American values that could lead America and by extension,  them  to a brighter future. But that's going to take time. 

She's just not sure if they have that  kind of  time. 

"You do know that she's never going to notice if you don't tell her, right?" Darcy  asks interrupting her thoughts. Natasha laughs. It sounds hollow even to her. 

"That's the plan." She says and Darcy looks somewhat surprised as she looks at her, eyebrow raised. 

"Why? Like, mine's got some  predestined  la-di-dah love story of a generation thing going with an honest to god... well,  _ god _ . But  yours is single as a bird and from the way that she made out with me, she's not like super straight." Darcy asks and Natasha wishes that she hadn't known that. 

It would have been far, far easier if she hadn't known- that's not the point. Natasha sighs as she looks out towards the group of them. 

Clea laughing with Tony, leaning heavily on him as she supports Pepper with the other arm. Stephen smiling fondly at her as a man that Natasha doesn't recognise  watches  them. 

"She deserves better than me." Natasha says before she can stop herself. Damn. She had either been drinking too much or she was too exhausted to hold the facade up. Time to go home, she thinks. 

"Yeah well, cheers to the F.I.L club then." Darcy says as she raises her glass and clinks it to Natasha's. She takes a sip, as Natasha does even as she blinks. 

"F.I.L?" Natasha can't help but ask as Darcy shrugs her shoulders. 

"Fools in Love. I'm working on the whole 'let 'em go' thing and when I figure out how to do that, I'll let you know." Darcy says just as Jane comes off the dance floor, her face lit with a joyous smile and waves enthusiastically towards Darcy. 

Natasha can almost hear the woman's heart break as she smiles and waves back even as she releases and sigh and throws the drink back. 

"Time to go and do my duties. I'll see you around, beautiful." Darcy says with a wink as she puts down her empty glass next to Natasha and walks off towards Jane, the wide smile on her lips. 

It feels like a whirlwind had just gone by, Natasha thinks as she slowly sips at her drink. She should stop drinking. She should get some caffeine instead. Wake up some. She has a debriefing to get to, after all, she thinks. 

But she continues to drink. 

It's just one of those nights. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**22 May 2011 **

The tension in the elevator is odd. 

It's not the sexual tension that he'd expected. But something darker and it's only his need to try to preserve what little privacy Tony has left that stops Stephen from reaching out to the Connection to figure out what it is that Tony may be feeling. 

He remembers the brief flash of anger, but the rest of the night had been a pleasant hum of warm conversations and laughs as they both did their jobs and got the funding from the wealthy. 

They had outdone their estimates and Tony should be pleased, but instead of pleased, it is clear that the other man was upset. Most likely, Stephen notes with a frown, he'd been upset the entire night and had just been hiding it. 

Stephen can't help that little bit of irrationality inside of him that wonders if he has done something to fuck up. Whether he had upset the genius with something that he'd done or said. But before he can think too hard on that, Tony stops the elevator with the emergency stop button. 

"We said that we were going to be better about telling each other what's up and to ask for help when we need it." Tony says and his voice is tense and his words stilted. Stephen feels himself tense as well as he looks at Tony and tries to read past the all too sturdy mask that he wears. 

Something has Tony seriously worked up and upset then, Stephen thinks. He can't remember the last time that Tony hadn't let that mask drop when it was just the two of them.

“I need it.” Tony adds. His voice is tense. So are the lines of his shoulders and his face. Tony is barely holding himself together and as Stehen realises that, the anger and rage burns through their Connection like a floodgate had been opened. 

"What do you need me to do?" There is no hesitation. No need for it. Anything, Stephen thinks. He will do anything, if it means that he can take away that tension  in his lover's shoulders. 

"Take me out of my head. Make me forget everything. Take control. I don't want to think and I don't want to hurt you. If you can't do that, I need you to go to the Sanctum or somewhere else tonight." Tony says and there is barely held back violence inside of him that Stephen recognises. 

Tony is angry. 

No. This goes beyond angry. This is cold hard rage and Stephen understands what Tony was saying now. He was feeling dangerous and violent and he was doing the best that he could to warn Stephen of  it . 

Stephen can't help but recall the night that Tony had discovered Stane's betrayal. The offer had been his to make that time. He hadn't thought to take the control away from Tony. He had simply submitted and given himself over instead. 

Tony doesn't want that. 

And if Stephen chose to go to the Sanctum, Tony would let him. He will spend the night drinking or tinkering or working himself into a frenzy in the gym. He will deal with it on his own and in the morning, he will be alright. 

But that's also not what Tony wants. Neither does Stephen. Stephen takes a deep breath, nods slowly and pushes Tony sharply against the wall of the elevator and kisses him hard.

Later, they will talk. They will lay in bed, relaxing and holding each other. Then Stephen can find out what has caused this anger, this rage inside of his lover and truly help. But for now, he needs to redirect that anger and rage into something else. 

The genius grunts into his mouth and his kiss is just as hard and even violent. There is a flash of teeth and Stephen groans into the kiss as he slots a knee between the genius's legs, pushing hard on the half formed arousal. 

With one hand, Stephen cups the genius's face and continues to kiss him hard as with the other, he pulls the magic just under the surface of his skin to his fingertips. 

When Stephen wraps his hand around Tony's wrist, he lets him and Stephen deftly wraps the magic around it before grabbing the other and pushes the genius's arms firmly above his hand with the magic encircling them,  anchoring the genius against the wall of the elevator and steps back to admire his handiwork. 

The bright gold of his magic holds Tony prisoner as the genius's dilated eyes take in his situation. Tony smirks as Stephen admires him. 

"Got me where you wanted me?" Tony asks and Stephen doesn't respond by any other means than licking his lips as he goes back to kissing the genius hard and fast. 

It's not going to be a slow, loving, tender thing tonight. That's not what Tony wants and Stephen wants to give Tony the outlet that he needs. 

It might not just be a one time thing either, he thinks as he notices the anger and frustration in the genius as he tries to take control of the kiss. Stephen doesn't let him, pulling away each time. 

He gets his trembling fingers to behave just long enough to undo Tony's pants even as he continues to kiss the gorgeous lips that taste of expensive whisky and that distinct something that is purely Tony. 

It's exhilarating. 

It doesn't matter that this is the  hundredth or the thousandth time that they'd shared such heady kisses. It doesn't matter that he sleeps and wakes with Tony in his arms. Every time feels new and fresh and every time feels like a blessing. 

The shoes and the pants get in the way and for a moment, Stephen is sorely tempted to simply wave them away with a small expenditure of magic, but he changes his mind. 

Tony deserves to be worshipped tonight, he thinks as he gets onto his knees. He doesn't give the genius time to think. He starts to kiss and suck on the hardening cock through the fabric of the pants as he encourages Tony to step out of his shoes. 

The pants are next to go and as more of Tony is exposed, the more of that delectable skin that Stephen gets to nuzzle, kiss and taste. 

Stephen doesn't take long. Neither of them can handle it. 

If he was honest, they'd both known that the night would be ending with something like this from the moment they'd put the tuxes on. Neither can resist seeing each other in such gorgeous outfits. 

Both of their tuxes were well tailored and brought out their best assets out for the other's  wandering  eyes. The pants resist a little before they  fall down and Stephen is able to get the inventor to step out of them as he suckles on the hard cock in his mouth. 

Tony tastes of the pre-cum and lightly of sweat. It's been a warm night and the alcohol  has  made things only warmer. Stephen moans as Tony pants above him. He looks up just enough to see the caramel brown eyes looking down at him, completely dilated and distracted, though not enough, Stephen thinks as he opens the small portal with one hand. 

Tony's eyes dilate a little more at that as the bottle of lube drops into his hand. If Stephen didn't know any better, he'd say that Tony had a thing about his magic. 

Stephen smiles around the cock in his mouth as he pumps the lube onto his fingers and encourages Tony to put his legs up onto his shoulders. The magic in the cuffs he'd placed around Tony's wrists hold most of the genius's weight as Tony's legs settle over his shoulders and gives him the access that he needs. 

Tony isn't after slow. So Stephen makes the prep quick and dirty. He's glad that  his  hands were cooperating for once as he works them in and out of Tony almost roughly. Tony grunts, moans and pants as Stephen opens him up. 

Stephen doesn't stop sucking on that gorgeous cock either but he also keeps it low key enough that Tony won't be able to come just yet. 

"Fuck me already!" Tony all but shouts as Stephen pops off of his cock and licks his lips, raising his eyebrows as he lets his fingers slow down to play with the folds of Tony's rim. 

"Very rude of you Anthony. Have you forgotten the position you're in?" Stephen asks as he pushes Tony's legs off of his shoulders and with a twist of his fingers, raises Tony higher up against the wall, forcing the genius onto his tip toes.

Tony bites his lips as all the stimulation disappears and he is stretched just a shy beyond what is comfortable as he scrambles to get purchase. 

There is a moment of silence as Stephen stands up and wipes his fingers on the discarded, ridiculously expensive tuxedo pants. 

There is a flash of anger and defiance in Tony's eyes as Stephen undoes his own pants to draw out  his cock and takes it in hand . He strokes himself a few times with a few more pumps of the lube as Tony's hungry eyes  watch him. 

Stephen watches Tony's eyes as the desire and need wins over the anger  and annoyance and the fight leaves him. Tony lets out a breath and he nods almost to himself before he looks at Stephen. 

"Please. Please Stephen. I need you." Tony says, his cock twitching as his hips sway. Stephen doesn't waste a single second. He crowds himself against the genius, lifts his legs up into the crooks of his elbows and with a smooth thrust, enters him. 

The howl that Tony might have let out, the one that would have travelled through the empty space of the elevator shaft, Stephen swallows with  a hard kiss. 

Stephen doesn't give Tony a lot of time to recover. He fucks into him hard, fast and doesn't stop kissing him. Keeping him completely surrounded by Stephen and feeling, tasting, breathing only Stephen and taking everything that Stephen is willing to give him. 

Tony's breaths are hot as they enter his lips and Stephen knows that his  breaths will be just as hot as they enter the genius's lips in return. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Stephen realises that he'd forgotten to shut the Connection down between him and Loki. Without the magics of the Sanctum burning through them, the sensation is somewhat dampened, but he can feel the god's lust adding to his own. 

The addition isn't just Loki's lust and desire, but pleasure and when it hits him, Stephen loses control. His skin burns with the magic that he'd pulled to the surface and the desire and need for Tony and the pleasure of their coupling. 

Stephen loses himself in Tony.

~~~ 

**Sunday**

**22 May 2011 **

The heat is unbearable. 

He shouldn't do this. Loki knows that. He  _ knows _ that this is wrong. He shouldn't be feeding off the luxurious feeling of Stephen's lust and desire and pleasure and feeding his own need for something.  _ Anything _ to fill the void. 

But he is but a god and he can't resist it. 

He lets the heat pool in his stomach and as it does, it takes just a thought. A mere whisper of a suggestion as a clone forms and splits from him. He wonders if Stephen does this with Tony. 

He wonders if that is what is happening mere floors away from him. 

He wonders if they are still in their fine party garb. Oh , it had been  almost  impossible to keep his hands to himself throughout the night as he had watched his Soulmates, laughing, talking and dancing. 

He'd drank in the sights of their joy, their uninhibited laughs and the warmth of their conversations. They had been kind to him during the night. Everyone had. 

Tony's work with the media has paid off, as had Darcy's. The video of him spinning tales to the children with his illusions have, as Gina Park had called it, 'gone viral' and had overtaken the internet and it had softened his image even further. 

Throughout the night, the people hadn't been afraid to approach him and some of the younger ones had asked him shyly if it was possible to see some of the illusions and he had complied when he'd been asked by the young teens. 

It didn't cost a great deal of magic and he hadn't minded. 

Loki remembers the soft look of approval in Stephen and Tony's eyes as their eyes had met across the party floor. He remembers the soft smiles on their lips. 

The clone moves as it’s bid and kneels on the floor in front of him. 

Its  lips, a copy of his own wrap around him. 

Oh, he wishes that they weren't his lips and it's so, so incredibly very tempting to recall Stephen's lips or Tony's. But he won't. 

He keeps the image of the clone firmly in his own image. He will not violate his Soulmates in such a manner, even in the privacy of his own room. 

It would be so _easy_. 

It would take just a flicker of his magic to blind the consciousnesses in the Tower. He will be able to shield his activities. He will be able to conjure clones of both Stephen and Tony. He will be able to have his way with them. 

But he can't. No, he  _ won’t _ . 

That is, as the Midgardians would say, a breach of Stephen's and Tony's privacy and he has committed enough sins against them that he will not dare to do such a thing. 

Even though they are just his lips, the heat feels wonderful against his hard cock. this is the first time that he has done this in centuries. He hasn't felt a need as deep as this before, but it feels familiar still. 

After all, Loki had learnt more about sex and pleasure from his own clones than he had from other lovers. And what he had learnt from others, he had experimented and practised upon himself to get perfect. 

Loki tries not to. 

He tries not to think about what Stephen and Tony are up to upstairs. He tries not to imagine Stephen's long cock driving in and out of Tony's pliant body. 

He tries not to remember that painful, desperate coupling between them in Stuttgart. 

He tries not to imagine what Tony would look like, lost in the pleasure. He tries not to recall the kiss they shared in the Penthouse right before Tony had left him in the Tower. 

Oh, Loki tries. 

But there is only so much focus and control that he can muster. 

All of the images fill his mind and as Stephen feels his pleasure and drinks in his desires, the feedback loop starts. It's not as strong as it was back in the Sanctum, but it's enough. 

It's more than enough for both of them to lose control. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**22 May 2011 **

Shit. 

Bruce feels the panic hit him hard and fast his sensitive sense of smell tells him that he's not in the familiar setting of his bedroom as he comes to. 

The first thought in his mind is that he's somehow ended up back at the laboratories in Ross's clutches, but the scents tell him that's just the remnants of his nightmares and he was most definitely not there. 

Instead of the sterile smells of the lab, what Bruce smells is the scent of perfumes,  makeup , coconut and the sickening sweetness of alcohol. He tries to open an eye, but the most he can manage is a groan. 

His head feels like it's about to split open and he knows exactly what's to blame. Or more importantly  _ who _ is to blame. 

Thor. 

Thor and his magical bottle of weird something that he assured that Bruce will be able to handle  because  he had the Hulk inside of him and he shouldn't have listened because after that, everything was a bit fuzzy. 

But he does remember laughing. He thinks there might have been some dancing too. He's not sure. All that he knows is that his head hurts and that there are warm scents all around him and there was hair that  smelled  of  coconut  and vanilla tickling at his nose. 

When he tries to stir to figure out just what was going on and where he was, he gets a slap on the stomach. His distinctly, shirtless stomach. 

"Don't move." It's Pepper's voice and he's pretty sure that's what she said, but he couldn't be certain because her words were so badly slurred and mumbled that it was impossible  to  tell clearly. 

There's an agreeing murmur from somewhere above his head were a hand was buried into his hair and Bruce knows that hand doesn't belong to Pepper at least. When he stops trying to move, the hand pats him once or twice. 

He also realises that there's another head on his shoulder and if nothing else, he knows that whoever it was used the same shampoo and conditioner as Pepper. Clea, then he thinks as he does succeed in opening his eyes. 

"What happened?" Bruce manages to ask. Mostly to himself. Or the thin air. Or the AIs. Or the women using him as a pillow. He's not sure who. He just wants answers. For his efforts, he gets a hand in the face as someone tries to hush him. 

The familiar ceiling tells him that he's in fact in the common space. The living room, in fact. He's not wearing a shirt, but he is at least wearing his underwear and there is a blanket covering him. Oh good, he thinks as he tries to remember the night. 

He's pretty sure that at one point or another, Stephen and Tony had disappeared to the Penthouse and that Thor and Jane too had disappeared. Loki, Bruce couldn't be sure of, but he was pretty sure the god disappeared when Tony and Stephen did. He can't remember. 

But he does remember vaguely Thor making him drink that delicious honey flavoured something before he went. After that, he's pretty sure he'd danced with Darcy and Clea and even Pepper maybe? 

Then there'd been something about an afterparty. He doesn't remember much of that. 

But that doesn't explain this current predicament. 

"Don't worry. We didn't ravish you or anything. I think." Clea says with a yawn as she burrows her head further into his shoulder. It's not very reassuring. Bruce blushes even as he is torn by what action, if any, he should be taking. 

His arms are spread wide on either side of him as to accommodate the women. He's not sure. Either way, until they chose to move, he was more or less trapped. 

"No blankets." Darcy adds from  the  top of his head and Bruce raises an eyebrow as he looks down at the blanket over him. 

"'cept like two." Darcy says as she cuddles her blanket closer, he guesses from the soft rustling. 

"'sides, you passed out first." Clea adds as Pepper waves a hand at both of their directions, clearly wanting to return to sleep. 

"And you’re warm." Pepper adds. 

"What time is it?" Darcy mumbles and Bruce wonders the same thing as the AIs finally decide to come to life. 

"It's 1:28pm on Sunday, 22 May 2011, Ms Lewis." JARVIS tells them and Bruce blinks. Shit. The others all groan as one by one they start to pick themselves up. 

"I thought I had meetings." Pepper says blearily as she barely lifts her head from Bruce's chest to sit up. 

Bruce isn't going to judge, but all three of them look nothing like the well put together women he's used to seeing. There's something almost sheepish and childish about them. Most of their  makeup  seemed to remain in place, except for the lipsticks and smudges here and there. 

The wide red rims around their eyes spoke of the alcohol intake and exhaustion. Their clothes are in absolute disarray but he is kept from seeing a bit too much from the fact that Pepper had wrapped herself up in his shirt sometime during the night, which hung off her, big and long and Darcy was cuddling his jacket. 

Clea's dress hadn't been very revealing to begin with and as soon as she sat up and settled her skirt, she looked almost decent. 

Their hair on the other hand? That was a disaster that only a shower could fix, he thinks as he looks at them and tries not to laugh. 

"You did. I know you did. I think?" Clea asks, clearly confused. 

"Brucie-bear, do we have bacon? Tell me we have bacon." Darcy says as she tries to run her fingers through her hair, gives up and shrugs her shoulders and flops back down. Clea just moans as she sways where she's seated. 

"F, my beautiful, beautiful friend, coffee?" Clea mumbles and there's what sounds suspiciously like a laugh from the AI before the coffee machine starts up in the kitchen. Pepper simply seems confused as she looks around. 

"Meetings?" She asks again as JARVIS sighs. Yes. Three weeks at the Tower still hasn't gotten Bruce used to the idea of AIs expressing emotions. 

"I have taken the liberty of rescheduling them, Ms Potts. In fact, your schedule has been cleared for today. I have also taken the liberty of instituting the Post-Fundraiser Operations." JARVIS says  dryly  and Pepper seems pleasantly surprised as she nods. 

"Oh good. Thank you J." Pepper says gratefully as she looks at the others and tries to smile at them. 

Bruce doesn't know what's going on, but he does take the pants that Darcy hands over to him and shrugs them on under the blankets and gets out of bed. He has a feeling that he won't be able to claim the shirt back from Pepper any time soon and he isn't too willing to try. 

He yawns and stretches as he makes his way to the kitchen. He was starving and chances were, the women were too and they can all use some food, he thinks. First food and then he can try to figure out how they all ended up in a pile in the common room. 

Or how he'd managed to keep the Hulk from coming out when he'd been so out of control the night before. Or perhaps why even now, as he starts the stove, his chest feels warm. 

Or... how to get revenge on Thor. That will work too. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**29 May 2011 **

The Tower is... almost quiet without them. 

Okay, that's not true. It's almost quiet without  _ Tony _ . And given all of the things happening and all of the work, Pepper has to admit that for Tony's birthday, he does at the very least, get to take the weekend off to go and spend time with Stephen.

And no. 

She most definitely does not want to know the details of what's happening or not happening at the Penthouse of the D'Arte Hotel or if indeed they were there, really. That had been the plan but... nope. She doesn't want to know. 

They'd done Tony's birthday thing the day before. Pepper had explained to everyone that if they would like, they were welcome to share in her and Rhodey's tradition of gifts that are  handmade or fun and under a hundred dollars. 

With of course no pressure to prepare anything. She'd planned just a small birthday party for them with all of Tony's favourite foods and had even managed to get Rhodey a day pass to come out to see him for Saturday night. 

Tony had been delighted. 

The look of true surprise and joy on his face had been worth it. The only one that hadn't given Tony a gift had been Stephen. Who'd merely raised an eyebrow at Tony when the genius had questioned it. 

Pepper does not want to nor need to know. 

But the quiet does give her an opportunity to speak to someone that she had been meaning to for some time. 

Loki. 

It's- She will be honest, hearing about the whole 'Connection' thing in front of the Madam Secretary of  the United Nations after Tony had  _ stabbed _ himself in the hand hadn't been quite ideal. No, actually, it was pretty  goddamn far from ideal and bordered somewhere along insanity. 

She'd been so upset with Tony about it in the car and then after that she'd almost forgotten about the Connection part of the conversation. She hadn't had much of a chance to question him about it either, what with all of the shit  they'd been dealing with. 

Besides, the whole Soulmate thing wasn't the only thing she really needed to talk to Loki about. 

With that in mind, Pepper makes her way down the stairs to her office. 

No one else was there today. 

For one, Jane, Darcy, Clea, Thor and Bruce were out in the city to visit the farmer's markets. Bruce had wanted to pick up some fresh produce and honestly, everyone else had just wanted to get some fresh air. They had a tendency to stay in the Tower... a great deal. 

It doesn't help that they live and work from the same building. 

"JARVIS, would  you be so kind  as to ask Prince Loki to come and see me at my office when he gets a chance?" Pepper says as she carefully thinks over her thoughts and plan of attack. 

She's really, really not quite sure what she can threaten a  _ god _ with. But if Loki was in fact Tony's Soulmate and can feel Tony's pain, she doubts that he would do anything to hurt Tony. 

Which begs the question. 

What about Stephen? And that is where her concern is. Stephen and Clea were family now. They were in her  innermost circle and Pepper was nothing, if not protective of her friends and family. 

She has a few hours left before she has to fly to LA to help figure out the plans for the actual HQ move. With most of the victims of the invasion gone from the Tower, they sort of had to get the work side of things sorted too. 

"Prince Laufeyson will be with you shortly Ms Potts." JARVIS's voice is warm as he speaks. Pepper smiles and nods at the nearest camera as she settles. 

This is going to be interesting, she can't help but think as Loki appears just inside of her office. His demeanour is clearly guarded. 

"You have requested my presence." It's not a question but a statement. There is something off about him, Pepper can't help but notice. And there is a distinct look of discomfort along with a slight flush of colour along his neck and ears, which is odd for the normally pale god. Pepper doesn't comment as she waits for him to settle into the chair in front of her. 

"Yes, I have some questions, if you wouldn't mind answering them." She says as he settles into the chair, crossing his legs and laying his hands over his lap. He looks as every bit as if he is sitting on a throne, though distinctly uncomfortable, somehow. 

"Of course. You need only ask." He says and Pepper does. 

They start with the simple definitions. Connection. Bond. Soulmate. Which of course, turns out isn't so simple because Pepper doesn't understand magic and it's really difficult for her to understand how all of it would work with Tony when he can't sense or feel it. 

What  surprises her the most of that starting bit of the conversation is the quiet way that Loki informs her that she need not worry about Stephen and Tony's relationship. 

"What do you mean you're all Connected?!" She can't help but exclaim. Loki looks at her evenly. She notices that he is blushing more as the time goes on but he continues to speak to her in an even tone. 

"In Asgard, we are referred to as a Triumvirate. Three Souls, Connected together. You can be assured, Lady Potts, I desire nothing but their happiness and safety." Loki tells her almost solemnly.

"Okay. Right. So. Um." It honestly takes her a long moment to gather her thoughts. Why hadn't Tony or Stephen told her? Why hadn't Clea? Well, it wasn't exactly her business to know, but she was Tony's best friend and knowing about things like this could have been important. 

She also supposes that there hadn't exactly been a great deal of time for all those conversations. She sighs as she looks at Loki again. 

"Okay, so how does the Connection work for you exactly? You said that Tony only feels like more trust and a desire to be in your company right?" Pepper asks, even as she thinks that it makes a lot of sense. 

Tony  two years ago had been almost... drawn to Stephen in a way that he had never been before. Pepper knows that it had more to do with Stephen's personality and his intelligence than probably the Connection, but still. 

"For those with magic, we are more... sensitive to the Connection and the Bond between us. Whilst with Tony, I can only feel his pain or his negative emotions, with Stephen I can feel... almost everything." Loki says and he seems almost distracted as he takes a deep breath. 

"Everything?" She can't help but question as Loki looks at her as he raises an eyebrow. 

"Yes Ms Potts. Everything. Stephen is considerate and kind. He tries to shield himself to ensure that I do not feel  _ everything. _ And I do the same. I have no desire to impede upon their privacy. However, shields even between us requires magic and magic requires focus." Loki says with a sigh as he keeps himself completely and utterly still. 

"But I am afraid that Anthony has him quite... unfocused." Loki tells her and as he does, Pepper feels the blush rush up to her face as she realises just why Loki was looking so flushed and uncomfortable from the moment he'd arrived at her office. 

Oh God, she can't help but exclaim in her mind as she tries to say something.  _ Anything _ . Something appropriate. She can't. It's a struggle to just try to keep herself from blushing into a  hemorrhage . Luckily, Loki doesn't seem to have the same problem. 

He isn't called Silvertongue without reason, she supposes. 

"As you have just realised, I am in quite a state of discomfort. To spare both you and myself embarrassment, I will take my leave." Loki's voice is dry as he tells her and before she even as the chance to nod, the god vanishes  into thin air. 

Pepper sits back in her comfortable office chair and tries, in vain,  _ not _ to think about just what Tony might be doing to Stephen that he can't even focus. Pepper sighs. 

Tony fucking Stark, goddamn him! 

~~~


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A birthday deserves celebration. 
> 
> And when it's a birthday that belongs to one Tony Stark and the celebration that he desires is of a more... hedonistic in nature, well, Stephen is more than happy to provide. 
> 
> But as always, nothing goes according to plan. Not in their universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!   
Your sick and half delusional author here! 
> 
> Alright, so this chapter is kinda um... look. I'm gonna be honest. I wrote all the way up to Chapter 17 and then realising that I forgot Tony's birthday and some great opportunity to write smut! >__<
> 
> So I hurriedly chucked this in. 
> 
> Full disclosure, the first smut scene was written for my pleasure and to fulfil my imaginations whilst the second was written for and is dedicated to my beautiful beta reader Missaness for her birthday. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! <3 
> 
> p.s. don't kill me. *cough*

**Sunday**

**29 May 2011**

It had been Tony's decision.

Of course it was. It was Tony's birthday and though Stephen had prepared him a gift, an outline of the program that would allow for Tony to remotely pilot the suit using a helmet with the neural sensors they'd already been using, he'd also given the genius a choice.

Allow him to plan the day or to give himself completely over to Tony for the day.

Tony had chosen the latter.

Which, on second  thought , might have been a mistake, Stephen can't help but think as he moans.

The spreader between his legs keeps him wide open and kneeling on the bed. The cuffs chained to the spreader keeps his arms by his legs and his chest and head are supported by the soft pillows.

The  blindfold over his eyes means that he can't see and therefore he cannot know what it is that Tony is about to do to him. Or whether he plans to do anything at all.

There is the perpetual heat of arousal and desire that burns through him and his mouth feels dry from all the panting.

His cock is hard and has been hard to the point that it is almost painful but even that adds to the pleasure that courses through his  body .

There are anal beads that had been pushed deep inside of him that vibrate and move against each other, sending endless shots of pure pleasure through his spine. 

The blindfold is soaked with his sweat and tears from the almost overwhelming pleasure. It's- Stephen isn't sure how long it has been or how much longer it will be. 

He drifts in and out between thinking and caring to simply drifting  with pleasure . 

Every now and then, Tony moves to stroke a finger along his body. Patting him, caressing him and kissing him. Each time  he does, the pleasure builds more and more until Stephen feels like he is about to burst. 

Just as he is ready to beg, to be able to come, Tony tones everything down and turns off the vibrators and calms him down. When he can almost breathe normally again, Tony starts again. 

Stephen isn't even sure how many rounds of that has happened. 

All that he knows is that it is all up to Tony. His pleasure, his pain, his very body is all Tony's to do  with as he pleases and. It feels so good to let go, to give himself so completely over to someone else. To lose himself so completely in that trust and love that he has for Tony. 

"Oh dear Gods, Stephen. You really are so, so incredibly beautiful like this." Tony coos at him. The bed shifts and Stephen tries to gauge where Tony may be. But as the bed shifts, so does Stephen and so does the beads inside of him and he loses focus again. 

When he can finally ride past that heady pleasure enough to try to figure out what is happening, his mouth is being opened and the beads have been turned off. 

Cold liquid touches his tongue and he realises that Tony was feeding him water. Keeping him hydrated and taking care of him even as he pulled him apart. 

Tony prefers short scenes when he is submitting. But Stephen doesn't. He prefers the long drawn out scenes. Luckily for him, Tony likes dominating for longer scenes. Tony enjoys teasing him, drawing out the pleasure, making him cry tears of frustration, knowing that orgasm denial is almost guaranteed to put Stephen into subspace. 

"You're so good for me Stephen. I need you to drink up. If you finish drinking all of this, I'll let you suck my cock." Tony tells him with a gentle tone. Stephen wraps his lips properly around the straw and drinks. 

"You know you are the best gift I have ever received? Better than anything else I could ever have been given." Tony tells him softly as he cards a hand through Stephen's hair and continues to feed him the water. 

"And when we are done and after we rest and if you are up to it, I'm going to ride you. I'm going to let you lay down, relax as I ride you. And if you can, and if you want to, I want you to bring out that clone of yours and fuck me with him too." Tony says and Stephen has to stop drinking. 

He can't. 

If he hadn't had the tight cock ring preventing him from doing so, he would have come all over himself just as those words. The idea of- Trust Tony to think of uses for his clones that  _ he _ hadn't. 

"Nah ah ah. You need to drink all of this baby. If you don't, you don't get my cock." Tony tuts at him and puts the straw back into Stephen's lips. Stephen obediently wraps his lips around it and starts to drink again as Tony runs soothing hands up and down his back, making sure that the cuffs weren't cutting off circulation and that he wasn't in any discomfort with his hands. 

Tony is a good dominant. He's a good sexual partner that cares for his partners' pleasure and well being. As Stephen continues to drink, not realising just how thirsty he had been until he had been drinking, Tony continues to talk. 

"Have I ever told you how sexy your neck is? Every time I see it, stretched, especially like this, all I can think about doing is kissing it. Marking it. Letting the world know that you belong to me." Tony says and as if to prove the point, he leans down and licks the sweat off of Stephen's neck. 

Stephen moans as he drops the straw again. 

Tony patiently returns it as he continues praising the parts of Stephen's body that he particularly likes and enjoys before touching or kissing precisely that part of his body. 

Though he is tied down and mercilessly teased, Stephen also can't help but feel that he is being worshipped. That Tony was not just enjoying himself and Stephen's body but worshipping him, praising him, adoring him. 

Once the drink is completed, Tony leans down and kisses Stephen softly, tilting his head so that they can do so. It's a wet kiss that feels both deliciously cool from the liquid that had gone through him and hot from Tony's own lips. 

It is exactly what  he needed and wanted. 

It is more refreshing than the water he'd drank. But there is something else that he wants in his mouth more than the water. But before he can think too hard on that, his body lurches forward as the beads begin to vibrate inside of him again. 

"On second thoughts baby, how about we get those out and let me fuck you? Hm?" Tony asks as he runs a hand up and down Stephen's backside. His voice is pure sex as he asks and Stephen can only nod and moan  as he feels Tony's movements stir the beads around inside of him. 

"What do you say baby?" Tony purrs against his ear as his body moves to cover his. The shock of feeling Tony's naked body against his back feels so good that Stephen almost sobs. 

"Shh, it's okay baby. You've been so good for me. Just a little while longer." Tony soothes him softly as  he pulls slowly at the wires holding the beads together and providing them with the power to vibrate inside of him. 

Tony continues to praise him as he pulls each bead out. Stephen moans and pants even as Tony soothes him and runs gentle hands up and down Stephen's back as he shakes under the pressure of all the pleasure. 

Any focus that he might have had has been shattered. Only the spells that he has been upholding for so long that they are almost part of him, the spells to hide his silver hair and the ones to support the Kamar-Taj and Sanctums are the only ones that remain. 

Loki, at least, on the other hand, was doing his level best to keep the shield up between them and it is the only thing that keeps Stephen from completely losing himself. 

If Loki didn't, if the god wasn't able to hold the shield up, Stephen knows that he would have completely lost himself to the pleasure and drifted as the feedback loop formed between them. 

"Last one baby. God, you are so beautiful." Tony admires him as he pulls out the last bead. As it goes, Stephen feels his vision whiten out for a moment though he cannot physically come. 

For a moment, he floats in that beautiful line between pain and pleasure as he slumps heavily into the pillows and struggles to breathe. 

Somewhere in the background, Stephen can hear Tony talking to him, praising him, his voice wonderfully delicious against his ears. His hands calming and gentle and soft against his skin. 

By the time that Stephen has almost regained his senses, he is full. Tony's thick hard cock is buried deep inside of him to the root and Stephen almost feels the dam threatening to burst from Loki's end of the Connection. 

"You alright baby?" Tony asks, his voice strained by the pleasure that  _ must _ have been building up inside of him too. Stephen can't manage a response. He wishes that he  could  see his lover. He wishes that he  could  kiss him. 

The blindfold is completely drenched in the tears and sweat that Stephen has shed. He nearly screams as Tony raises him up with a firm arm around his chest and sits him on the hard cock. 

With his legs spread wide by the spreaders, Stephen is speared onto Tony's cock and though  it should not be possible, it feels like Tony is even deeper inside of him as gravity pulls him down. 

"Oh! Fuck! Stephen! Fuck!" Tony swears as he too cries out. Stephen's insides feel almost bruised by the hours of toys being inside of him and now with the cock piercing him. 

The dam breaks. 

Loki's lust burns through Stephen hard and fast and he loses sense of everything but the pleasure. 

Tony fucks him down onto his own cock over and over as Stephen, arched as he is with his hands still cuffed to the spreader has no choice but to simply take the pleasure that is given to him. 

He doesn't notice when the cock ring is taken off. He doesn't even feel it when he is pushed back down into the pillows as Tony grasps his waist and fucks almost violently into him. 

He doesn't even notice when he comes, a near scream upon his lips as he spills his cum all over the pillows  and sheets . 

He doesn't feel himself tightening around Tony. He doesn't hear the genius's cry as he comes deep inside of him. 

Even as his body fills  with pleasure , so does his soul and his mind through the Connection. Between all of that, Stephen floats. 

Overwhelmed by the pleasure and overwhelmed by the trust and love that he cannot help but feel and pass directly onto Loki, Stephen drifts, warm and well taken care off as he falls headlong into subspace. 

It feels... perfect. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**29 May 2011 **

They... should have known better. 

Really. Bruce might have been able to get away with it on his own. But Bruce and Thor together? Actually, it's just Thor. Thor is- It's  _ impossible _ not to draw attention when you have Thor in your midst. 

Starting from the height to just the size of the god, it's impossible for him to blend into the crowd in any shape or form. He stands out like a sore thumb and where  _ he _ stands out, Bruce gets recognised. 

In  other words, it was inevitable. 

But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Thor is polite enough and charming enough, but he is a god and there is a certain amount of awe attached to him that makes people reluctant to approach him. 

Those that are brave enough to do so are polite and they ask for their photos and get them with both Thor and Bruce as Darcy snaps photographs of them doing the shopping. 

It's- the attention is almost too much but not quite as Jane and Bruce explain the market, the produce and how it all works to Thor with animated excitement. 

They compare notes on the foods that are available on Asgard and Bruce seems excited about trying some of the dishes out as they walk and talk. 

Clea trails behind them, enjoying the warm sunlight and the rare opportunity they have to just let go and be themselves. The market hustles and bustles . 

Even here, on the 79th Street Greenmarket, the remnants of the New York Invasion can be seen. But it is studiously ignored by both the market goers and them. 

Today is their day away from work. Today is the day that they celebrate what is good about life and the little pleasures of life. 

The scent of fresh produce, the sound of hawkers trying to sell their wares, the sound of laughing children. 

This is the kind of day that they had all needed. A day to remind themselves of the work that they had done and the good that they have been able to accomplish and that life goes on. That it will be alright  in the end. 

Clea loves this. This peace, this moment of just being out with her friends, despite the clamour of attention and phone being whipped out to take photos of their group. It's fine. She has no doubts that Gina and her team are carefully monitoring the social media feeds and controlling what they need to. 

Besides, even this is good PR. A reminder to the people that Bruce Banner wasn't just the Hulk but  a  normal guy that also was very, very passionate about ensuring that they eat a healthy diet and that Thor was excited as a tourist may be as he wanders through the market with Darcy and Jane's constant chatter. 

But it's not long before she is pulled into a hot debate. 

About ice cream, because of course it is. 

"Mint chocolate." Clea says firmly as Jane waxes poetry about the virtues of the simplest of all flavours, vanilla, which, Clea will grant, is good but nothing will beat mint chocolate. 

"Are you insane? Strawberry is definitely the best." Darcy snorts back as Clea raises an eyebrow. 

The debate only becomes all the more heated between them before Thor inevitably brings everything to a halt. 

"What is this ice cream you speak of?" He asks, clearly confused before Jane and Darcy gape and share a look before excitedly  grabbing  him and  dragging  him off to the nearest ice cream vendor. 

That isn't new to either Bruce or Clea who had been left behind. But it is to the crowd that had formed around them during the debate. The odd, stunned looks  on their faces is at the end, is  what cracks Clea up. 

By the time that she can get herself together and wipe the tears from her eyes, she can't help but think that it feels good to laugh. To have this day out with her friends. 

"You do realise that Darcy is going to feed Thor so much ice cream he's going to be sick, right?" Bruce asks quietly as Clea groans. She would too. 

Darcy had a thing about making Thor try everything he hasn't tried before. They'd gone through the phases  for breakfast foods, then the street foods, which admittedly still ongoing. 

Clea can only imagine what Darcy would do with ice cream, which would inevitably lead to gelato. In  other  words, they really ought to reign in Darcy before she gets too far. 

"Shit." Is all Clea manages before Bruce nods in agreement and they rush to find the three of them before they end up with a god with a  stomach ache . 

New York could do without a thunderstorm. 

~~~

**Sunday**

**29 May 2011 **

It takes  a while . 

For Stephen to rest up and to snap out of the subspace he'd sunk so deeply into. Not that Tony had minded. 

Stephen had been on edge of late and he wasn't sure what it was due to. The doctor had helped him relax and he figured that he'd repay the favour. 

But more than that, being able to touch and to worship Stephen's body and watch as he shudders and shakes, cries and moans with pleasure has got to be one of the best experiences in Tony's life. 

It's an experience that was truly worth absolutely everything. 

Because it wasn't just about the sex. It wasn't just about the pleasure that they both get out of it. 

It's about the trust. 

When he had Stephen spread out and tied down with the blindfold over his eyes and Stephen stayed there, pliant and willing as Tony touched and kissed and pleasured him over and over, every single second of that was a sign of Stephen's complete and utter trust. 

Stephen hadn't tensed up once. He hadn't doubted for even a second that Tony would leave him or fail to take care of him. That trust is a gift that Tony will always appreciate. It is a gift that he will do his utter best to never,  _ ever _ abuse again as he had done before. 

It is also the best gift that Stephen could have given him for his birthday. 

"Are you sure about this dearest?" Stephen asks him as he watches Tony settling over his cock. Tony raises an eyebrow at him and gives him that smirk that he knows Stephen likes. 

"Why? You afraid you won't last?" Tony asks with that snarky tone that never fails to put that slightly amused and slightly annoyed look in Stephen's eyes. 

"I'm just worried." Stephen tells him as he runs his hands up and down Tony's thighs, his hands warm and gentle. Tony shrugs his shoulders. 

"I promise I'll safe word. Besides, you'll feel it before can anyway." Tony tells him with a shrug and Stephen gives him a soft smile and a nod, though he still does look a little uncertain. 

Tony grinds his hips over and over along the hard cock resting on Stephen's stomach. God, the man looks good, he thinks. He looks every bit like a Green statue as he lays there, his scarred hands running along Tony's thighs, his toned arms flexing as they move and his eyes dilating further and further as Tony excites him. 

"If you're sure." Stephen tells him softly and that's the permission that he needed. Tony smirks again and poises himself above Stephen's long, hard cock. He can't help but feel that thrill of excitement go through him. 

He takes a deep breath and relaxes as he holds Stephen's cock steady in his hand and slowly lowers himself onto it. 

The clone that Stephen created for him helps him with steady hands that feel familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. 

Tony can't help but moan as his eyes  flutter shut. He trusts his body to the clone as Stephen fills him inch by inch until he can finally take all of Stephen into himself and sit astride him. As he does, the clone helps him to lower his body so that his cock is trapped between their stomachs and he can feel Stephen's chest against his. 

"Please." Is all Tony can manage to say as he luxuriates in the feeling of being so full. All of his cockiness and assurances dissipate and all he can feel is the heat of Stephen's cock buried deep inside of him. 

Stephen's chuckle is soft and Tony can feel it vibrating through him where their chests meet. 

The doctor's arms come around him and caress his back gently as he raises his head so that they can kiss. The clone doesn't move immediately. 

They lose themselves in the kiss. 

He can do this all day, Tony thinks. Kissing Stephen, feeling his hard length inside of him, luxuriating in the time that they get to spend together. 

It feels wonderful. 

"You ready?" Stephen asks him softly and Tony nods even as the clone's fingers, slender and long and scarred like Stephen's, slowly trace the already stretched rim. 

"You've been thinking of this for some  time, haven't you?" Stephen's tone is amused as Tony tries to open his eyes so that he can see what that amusement looks like. It's a struggle between how full he already feels, the excitement of what is to come and the pleasurable sensation of the clone's exploratory fingertips. 

"God yes." Tony can't help but cry out as Stephen chuckles. Tony is almost but not quite, annoyed that Stephen is so amused by the situation when he can barely string a sentence together already. 

But arousal mixed with amusement looks good on Stephen. 

The soft crinkle of his eyes, the dilated and twinkling blue grey eyes, the soft smile on his lips, the relaxed face flushed red with arousal. Stephen looks gloriously beautiful. 

Tony can't help but lean so that he can kiss those lips even as the clone's finger slides against Stephen's cock and enters him. 

The moan that they let out is simultaneous and swallowed up by the kiss that they hungrily share. 

The amusement that had been lighting Stephen's face fades as it is filled with just desire , lust and passion. Tony kisses his lips hungrily for a moment but as the finger starts to move in and out of him along the hard cock already inside of him, he can't. 

He rests his whole body against Stephen's and tries to relax as he buries his head into Stephen's neck and tries to hold back the cries. 

It's futile. 

The cries turn into incoherent mess of pleases and curses as one finger becomes two. Tony isn't sure how long it takes. 

All he knows is that there is a hand running up and down his spine and soft kisses being placed over his face as Stephen sits up so that Tony's weight isn't resting on the Arc Reactor for too long. 

Tony doesn't even notice the sorcerer arranging them so that Stephen can lean against the headboard with the pillows to support him as he holds Tony in his arms and patiently waits. 

This must be torture for him, Tony can't help but think. Buried inside of Tony, hard but unable to move as the clone stimulates them both. 

When the third finger enters him, Tony thinks that it won't fit. That he can't take it. That it's too much and he'll just burst. He can't even speak to  protest . Held tightly in Stephen's arms, his praises upon his ears, the hard heat buried inside of him... All Tony can do is shake and shudder and just take it. 

He knows the safe word. He knows that he can say it, but he doesn't want to. 

He wants this. 

The pleasure overrides the pain and that's what does it. He slips into that head space, that glorious ride of chemicals throughout his body that turn everything into pleasure and dampens the pain of the stretch and turns even that into sharp spikes of pleasure. 

Tony relaxes against the third finger as the clone moves it slowly in and out of him. Stephen is murmuring things over and over to him. Praises, platitudes, sweet nothings. 

The sound of Stephen's velvety voice purring against his ear and the feel of his breath against the sensitive skin and the feel of that steady, fast heartbeat drumming against his is- It's almost too much. 

Almost. 

But it is also just right. It feels so fucking good just as it feels almost overwhelming. The sounds of moans that break out from Stephen every now and then and the soft curses only add to Tony's excitement and mounting pleasure. 

He loses all track of time as it passes. If anyone asked, Tony couldn't say whether it took 10 minutes for them to prep him or it took 10 hours. He has no idea. 

All he knows is that he is so full that he feels like he is about to explode and that it feels so fucking amazing that he's pretty sure that he was most definitely going to be ruined forever. 

Whenever he can manage to get his eyes open, he sees the blue greys barely visible in Stephen's heavily dilated eyes. He sees the fondness, the love, the adoration shining from them. He sees the pleasure blossoming over and over on his lover's face. 

By the time that he is stretched enough to take the clone's cock, Tony is far, far gone. But when it does enter him? 

It's- It's overwhelming. It feels like the first time he'd flown in the Iron Man suit. It feels reckless, it feels dangerous and yet it feels so incredibly exciting and exhilarating. 

The clone is slow and patient. It pushes in slowly and smoothly. It pulls out only to push back , then in a little further. 

As it slowly fucks itself into Tony against Stephen's cock, they both hiss, moan, groan and cry out as Tony clings desperately onto Stephen and tries to stop himself from falling apart. 

He feels like he is being torn apart. In the most gloriously beautiful way. 

Tony has always been a greedy bastard. He had always wanted more than he should have and now, he gets to. He gets to have not one Stephen but two. 

He'd done this before, but not with two men. It had always been a toy. Something small and manageable but he'd always thought about doing this with two real, hot and hard cocks. 

It feels just as overwhelmingly good as he had always imagined that it would be. 

"Shh, it's okay dearest. You are doing so, so well." Stephen coos at him and it is only then that he realises that he is crying. That he is so overwhelmed by the pleasure of it that he can't hold back the tears. 

Stephen kisses them away but he doesn't ask if Tony wants to stop. He no doubt knows, Tony can't help but think. He can tell that there is no pain. The Connection allows him to do that. 

Tony wishes that he can have that. That he can be assured at all times with that intangible, magical, ridiculous Bond that Stephen can feel. At all times of the day, Stephen can feel what Tony is feeling, whether he is in pain, whether he is in trouble. 

Tony can't. 

He has to wait for others to tell him. He has to try to protect Stephen with watches and phones and satellites but Stephen doesn't need any of that. God, he wishes. 

But it's- It's okay, Tony thinks as he looks, half lidded at the way that Stephen bites his lips to stop himself from no doubt shouting or crying out. 

The Connection, for whatever it is worth and for all the trouble that it has given them, has also given Tony, the greatest gift the universe could have ever given him. 

Stephen. 

And if that means that he has to learn to read the man like a book and stalk him with technology to try to keep him safe,  then so be it. 

"Anthony, are you alright?" Stephen asks him, the strain obvious in his voice as his eyes try to slide shut. Tony would have smiled if he wasn't so overwhelmed himself. 

Of course, he thinks. Stephen can feel the clone's  pleasure  like his own. A bit faintly, Stephen had said, but he can still feel it, which means that this must be overwhelming to him too. 

Looking at Stephen, the way that he was biting his lip, trying to stop himself from coming, to give Tony this experience that he had wanted and had all but begged for, Tony can't help but feel that burst of love as he does whenever he realises just how much Stephen loves him. 

The sorcerer feels it. 

His eyes widen and soften and for a moment, they almost forget the position that they are in. They almost forget the clone patiently waiting for a signal to be able to move. For the moment, they forget absolutely everything but each other. 

"I love you." Tony pants out as he desperately reaches for Stephen's lips. The sorcerer smiles softly against them and whispers back the words as with the other, he twists his hands and the clone begins to move in earnest. 

They are only slow and soft thrusts back and forth but between how stretched he is, he full he is and just how much his heart was already threatening to burst with the love that he feels? 

It's a foregone conclusion. 

Tony isn't sure who comes first. His vision completely whitens out and he can only lay there, shaking with the aftershock of one of the most intense orgasms he'd ever experienced and just lay there, his head on Stephen's chest as he tries to breathe. 

If the stretch in itself hadn't already done it, the intensity of the orgasm would have. 

Tony slips into that delicious subspace as the clone helps Tony off of Stephen and together, they clean him up and examine him and make sure that he isn't injured. 

By the time that they are wrapped up in each other's arms as they calm down and enjoy the afterglow, Tony swears he can still feel the two cocks buried inside of him. 

"Good birthday?" Stephen asks him softly, his voice drowsy as Tony feels. He doesn't know what time it is. He's not sure if it is even his birthday anymore. 

It doesn't matter. 

Tony chuckles sleepily as he nods and curls himself closer into Stephen's loving arms. Maybe he should make it a birthday tradition, Tony thinks. Being fucked by Stephen was amazing. Always good. Just what he always wants. 

But being fucked by two Stephens? 

Okay, he was going to be fucking sore when he woke up and yes, it was probably not very safe to do it often or practical, but yeah. It was most definitely worth it. 

"I love your magic." Tony mumbles instead of an answer and he drifts off to the sound of Stephen's delighted laughter. 

Yes. It was a good birthday. 

~~~

**Monday **

**30 May 2011 **

The New York Accords make history. For the first time in the history of the United Nations, all of the member nations sign and ratify the Accords, preparing the United Nations to negotiate on behalf of the world and humanity with the Asgardians. 

As the Accords are ratified by the countries, the United Nations take a week break to get their resources together and negotiate behind the doors to meet the Asgardians with  a united front. 

Almost all the government infrastructure that had fallen apart with the New York Invasion are back online and working with the victims. The roads that had been blocked have been reopened and as many people and businesses were returning to business as usual. 

The people that have lost their homes have all been placed in temporary housing or have been transferred out of the city to government housing situations. 

The Tower almost feels empty without the throngs of people that used to fill it's hallways, but it's a good thing. The Tower wasn't meant to be housing people aside from the residential floors and it really hadn't been an ideal situation. 

The staff housing is still filled with families and that was fine. They can delay the move of SI HQ for a little while longer. Thor, Tony and Loki continued to work with the construction crews, speeding up the work throughout the city and the clinic stayed open for any that needed medical assistance, but for the most part, life returns to normal. 

That includes Stephen and his practice. Each morning, he leaves with or without Clea to attend to his patients and returns in the afternoon to work with Tony and the others in the labs or to help out in the clinic, if there is a need. 

Pepper flies back to LA to handle the situation with Stark Industries and leaves Clea, Jane and Darcy to deal with the Foundation. 

The routine in the Tower doesn't change much. 

Each morning, they meet for breakfast and discuss their day's plans before they split up and move off to the day's work before they meet up again in the evening for dinner. 

But quietly, as their days go on and they settle into their new lives, almost no one notices Loki and the way that he withdraws further and further into himself. 

No. That's not true. They all notice. They just don't know how to approach the god. 

Loki's profound sorrow and anguish is like a cloud that surrounds him and follows him at every turn and it's difficult to approach him. Knowing what he has been through it's hard for anyone to try to break through that shell and mask. 

Thor tries, bless his soul, to involve Loki into their conversations and to encourage him to make friends with the others. 

It doesn't work. 

How could it when those that Loki desires and needs the most are the ones that are just outside of his reach? 

Stephen knows that. 

He can see that. He feels it too. Like Loki does. The itch and need growing inside of them, threatening to overwhelm them every single time they meet in the lab each night and touch. 

The simple touch of their hands, a caress here and there is tiding the god over and tiding Stephen over, but soon enough, they will break. Loki before Stephen, they both know. 

Loki is Connected to both of them, but he isn't tethered. The Connection between both of them is so fragile, so thin compared to the one that holds Stephen and Tony together and soon enough, it won't be enough. 

Except, Stephen is still afraid. 

Yes, slowly, he was able to hold back the fear and the anxiety whilst he was in the same space with the god and yes, he was able to reach out and touch the god, but the fear remains and lingers and Stephen knows just how damaging it could be if he  were to react badly to the god. 

It would shatter the little bit of peace the god has managed to form and Stephen can't do that to him. Not now. Not when Loki  feels so vulnerable and fragile. 

The Loki that they all see is not the Loki that Stephen had seen through the visions of his childhood and past.

This Loki can't be called the God of Mischief and can only be called the God of Lies insomuch as the lies that he tells with his pretence of everything being okay. 

The removal of the children from the Tower hasn't helped. 

The children, for their bright eyed wonder and laughter had been a source of comfort for Loki. They had all seen just how wonderful he was with them, but they needed the stability of good homes and they couldn't keep them at the Tower when it was possible for them to have that. 

Stephen sighs. 

Soon, he knew that he would have to admit defeat and speak to Tony about finding a solution to their problem. Of ensuring that Stephen and Loki can both get the significant physical contact that they need. And he will. 

Perhaps he will approach Tony about the issue when he gets home, Stephen thinks.

He feels bad that he can't spend the day at home with the genius. After the intense scenes they had shared through the day before, they had woken up refreshed but still hungry for each other. Which was the norm for them really. But neither of their bodies had been up to anything much.

Perhaps he should wait a couple of more days. It  _ had _ just been Tony's birthday and he was pretty sure that he and Loki can last a few more days with just a touch here and there. Even if they hadn't had any contact yesterday. Well.

No.

His focus was starting to fray and so was Loki's. Soon enough, Stephen will have to once again hand over the reigns  of the Sanctums  and Kamar-Taj over to the others and he can't do that. Not when the Order was still recovering from the Invasion. 

It hasn't been easy for them either. The losses hadn't been... heavy but they had been there and losing some of their most experienced Masters had been a heavy blow and there had been a scramble to find others that can fill their positions. 

Then there was the matter of the Order quietly working in the background to retrieve the black market Chitauri weapons and body parts. Especially the body parts. 

Through Nicodemus West and his ilk, they'd seen just what was possible with bodies, blood and organs filled with life essence and though Stephen hadn't studied the Chitauri himself or the blood magic, he couldn't shake the suspicion that there was likely magic that can be worked with them that he'd rather not have out there in the world. 

So caught up in his thoughts that Stephen doesn't notice the presence behind him. By the time that he does, it's too late. 

He has just a moment to feel a flash of panic and fear before he feels the sharp sting of something against his neck and darkness overtakes his mind. The last thought that Stephen has is surprisingly about Clea. 

She was going to kill him. 

~~~


	15. The Blood Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just who the hell has dared to take Stephen? 
> 
> No, that's not the important question. That is a question for later. 
> 
> The question that matters is where. 
> 
> Where is Stephen Strange?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
Sorry about the cliffhanger beautiful people! 
> 
> I do hope that you hadn't been too upset by it and hope that you will accept this new chapter as a sign of my apology. 
> 
> Now. Fair warning, things are going to (?) or already have (probably) gotten fairly dramatic and as a result, you might find yourselves in need of the angsty blankets you will find underneath your seats. 
> 
> Please take one and cuddle up as the drama train hits. 
> 
> And um... I am taking a bit of an experimental turn with the writing a bit and it might seem a bit odd in the next little bit but I hope that it works and it's okay and it conveys what I want to convey. 
> 
> Please do leave me feedback as always to let me know. Your lovely comments are the food that I survive these days on. 
> 
> P.S. I started Outer Worlds. I have also downloaded Kingdom Hearts (... stupid freaking PS waving it at me as a bundle deal with the previous ones and my complete and utter lack of self control) ... Rest assured, I am still writing/rewriting at least a chapter or two a day so I will be staying ahead. I promise. 
> 
> But games honestly do keep me sane whilst I bite my nails waiting for comments. Yes. I am that pathetic. 
> 
> <3 
> 
> Kira

**Monday**

**30 May 2011**

The work never ends.

Seriously. After all that they'd gone through with the Tower and the Invasion, Clea wishes that they could have had a little break or two. But no. That's not what they get because being an adult means work and apparently adults don't get breaks between semesters.

It's  wistful  thinking.

But at least she gets to spend time with her friends even as she works, Clea thinks. It could be worse. She could be like her other college friends stuck in jobs that they didn't like working with people they didn't like. No. She was lucky and she should just suck it up and pay attention to the boring legalise.

Now that the Accords have been signed and ratified, they really needed to get their plan together for how they were going to handle the media, the United Nations and also, the United States Government, considering the fact that they were living in New York.

The meeting was important enough that Pepper and Tony had both asked her to stay at the Tower for it. Not that she minded. She knew that she was lucky that they were considerate enough to allow her to work both for and with Stephen as well as them and that sometimes, she had to stay at the Tower rather than being with her uncle.

That's fine.

She's organised for Yinn to meet Stephen at the practice instead of herself to act as the receptionist as he saw the day's patients. He'd been keen to get back to his own work and Tony had been encouraging and Clea had been super grateful. Her inbox could do with the break.

It's when Clea had been paying more attention to those said emails than the lawyers in the room when she feels it.

It- It hits her like a fucking truck.

All of the spells that sustain the Kamar-Taj and Sanctums crash onto her and knocks her breath away.

She gasps as she doubles over and everyone's attention immediately falls upon her even as she tries to deal with the heavy burden of the spells bearing down on her.

It feels like a tidal wave crashing into her, knocking her breath away and threatening to sweep her under and she barely manages to scramble to open herself up to the dimensional energies to sustain the heady drain of power.

It's- It's not like this normally. Even when Stephen loses control, there is a shift in the power. It's not this rough. It's not this- Shit.

Something's wrong.  _ Badly _ wrong.

Clea's phone rings. Even with the spell overwhelming her and the suddenness of it all breaking through her own focus and concentration, Clea grabs for the phone as she hears the worried voices of the others.

But they sound far away. Distant. A murmur. She can't hear them, she can't talk to them. She can't focus on them.

She can't.

"Where's Stephen?" Wong's voice is just as strained as she feels and Clea feels the panic and fear grow more and more inside of her as the pieces fall into place in her mind.

"I don't know.  _ Find him _ ." Clea demands before she hangs up the phone. They are at the Sanctum. They have the Cup of Jamshid. If it is about Stephen, the Cup will cooperate. She knows that it will. It has to. God, she hopes so.

Speaking of gods, she thinks as she looks at both Tony and Loki.

"Tony, Loki, we need to talk. Now." Clea says. Her voice is harsh. It's filled  with panic and fear that she can't hold back. She can barely think. The spell settles into place. She'd carried the burden enough times and for long enough periods that it settles like a second skin into place.

But the panic and fear? That doesn't fade.

Because if Stephen had been conscious, if he had been simple lost control, it wouldn't have felt like that. Something has happened to Stephen and she knows it's bad. No. No. She doesn't know that. She doesn't.

She needs to stay calm. She has to. She has to tell Tony and Loki and she has to make sure that the Order know- no. Wong can handle that. Okay. She just needs to handle it here.

She can do this. She  _ can _ . She  _ has to. _

"Okay. Alright. Clea- What's wrong?" Tony asks even as he hurriedly moves over towards her. He's already been out of the chair, as had Loki.

The two of them move towards her and she doesn't wait. She leaves the conference room and she makes her way towards the one next door. They are in the business part of Stark Tower and there are plenty of conference rooms one after another. Tony and Loki follow.

Clea can't stand still. She paces as she tries to reach out. She tries to stretch her senses, but sensing someone like Stephen isn't an easy task. She waits just long enough for the door to close before she's on Loki.

"Can you feel Stephen? Can you find him?" She asks as Loki frowns before his eyes widen. Her panicked state, the fear that she can't hide sends the alarm through to both of them as they reach the same conclusion at the same time.

"What has happened to him?" Loki asks, his voice quiet but firm and commanding. That's  _ not  _ what she wants to hear from him. She wants to hear that he can feel Stephen. Loki is magic, Stephen is magic and they have a Connection and a Bond and Loki should be able to feel Stephen.

"I don't know. Something. Something bad." Clea says as she looks at the god and his eyes flash. The brilliant emerald of his eyes flicker almost gold for a moment as the magic comes to life under his skin.

His magic doesn't feel like  hers or Stephen's. Whilst their magic feels like energy, like a power to be focused and wielded that flow through their veins, Loki's magic almost feels... alive, like it's a part of him. That it had  _ always _ been a part of him.

"What do you mean something bad? Clea, wh-where's Stephen?" Tony's fear is obvious as he moves towards her, his eyes wide and the flash of vitals on his watch telling them both that his heart rate is raised.

"I- I don't know." Clea tries to keep her voice steady. This  could all be a misunderstanding. Stephen might be fine. It sounds like a lie even to her ears.

Tony nods, takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. As he does, the panic in his eyes clear and his heart rate slows down. The clarity of mind is obvious as he breathes and focuses. This is the thing that Stephen does, Clea thinks almost hysterically, the thing that she's not very good at.

The whole being able to focus and keep a clear head in a stressful and dangerous situation. Experience, Stephen had said. Such a  mindstate comes with experience. Clea clearly hasn't had enough of that. She takes a deep breath.

Stephen needs you right now Clea fucking Strange, get yourself together! She all but yells at herself in her mind and takes a shuddering breath and explains the best that she can.

"There- There are spells. Stephen works spells at all times to keep the Sanctums and the Kamar-Taj protected and to keep the power flowing. When- When he loses his focus or he needs to have full access to his powers, he transfers the burden onto some of the Masters of the Order." Clea explains as clearly as she can.

She sees confusion in Tony's eyes and wonder in Loki's eyes.

"Normally, when the transfer happens, even if Stephen completely loses focus, it's a smooth transfer. This time- Just now? It wasn't. It- It's never felt like that before. I- I think Stephen's in trouble." Clea says and Tony nods and is already moving before she even finishes talking.

He goes to the conference table and he taps on the button to bring up the screens.

"J, get me a visual on Stephen." Tony commands, his expression grim and the screen moves rapidly. Clea doesn't want to know how Tony has access to the NYPD's security system. She's most definitely  _ not _ going to ask how he has access to what looks to be store cams either.

Do something to help, she thinks. She can't help Tony with his computer stuff. That had never been her forte. She turns to Loki instead.

"Isn't- Can't you feel him through the Connection?" Clea asks Loki again as the god's magic burns the air between them. He shakes his head.

Whilst Tony focuses and moves and works on the external things, Loki has turned that focus inwards. No doubt to try to figure out what's happening with Stephen through the Connection and the Bond that they share.

But that- something's wrong. It  _ has _ to be. Loki _ should  _ have felt it the moment that she did. Or even before. But he hadn’t. 

Why hadn't he?

"I- I cannot- I cannot feel him." The devastation in Loki's voice is one that she can feel like a blow to her face. How- What- What does it mean? Why can't- Clea needs to take a deep breath. She can't give herself over to the panic. She can't.

She needs to- She needs to focus.

"What do you mean you can't feel him? Is- He's not-" Clea can't finish that sentence. She feels the harsh and sharp look from Tony as he turns to look at her, his eyes just as wide with the panic that she feels.

"No. I- It is not that simple between us. I- Stephen shields himself, as do I. It- It has been out of our consideration for each other but- I should have been there. I swore to protect him. I-" Loki's magic burns bright and makes the air between them difficult to breathe.

She can feel his anguish, his pain, his hatred.

And all of that is directed to himself.

There is heavy guilt and hatred that burns in his eyes that is all for himself and Clea can't stand by and let him dwell in it. Oddly enough, his distress, his panic, his fear, calms her. It focuses her and she can move. She puts a hand on Loki's arm and makes him focus on her.

This is the first time that she has really reached out to touch the god and she notices absently that his skin feels cold. Colder than it should. She can also feel his magic curling around  hers , as if cataloguing it, understanding it. Accepting it. It's an odd feeling but she ignores it.

Clea doesn't understand the Connection. She doesn't understand what it must feel like to have a Connected in danger. But Stephen is her family and she knows what it feels like to have him in danger and she imagines it's similar enough.

She also understands guilt and regret. She can feel it herself right now. It's her job to protect Stephen. She should have been there. With him. Protected him. But she hadn't been and now- No. No.  _ No. _

Don't think about what might have happened, she tells herself. Focus on what you can do now.

"Loki, Stephen's the Sorcerer Supreme. He is the most powerful of us. He is going to be okay. We just need to find him. It- This might all be a misunderstanding." Clea says but even as she does so, Tony shakes his head.

"I don't think so." Tony's voice is so filled with anger, fear and- Clea can't even read all the emotions as he watches the screen in front of him, a hand over his mouth.

Clea and Loki move too so that they can see the screen and as they do, she wishes that the resolution wasn't so damned clear.

She sees Stephen, walking down the street towards the practice. His expression is serene, his eyes preoccupied. The camera angle shows perfectly the men appearing behind Stephen. Out of the thin air. Magic, she thinks as suspicions form in her mind.

One of the men, as quickly as he appears, stabs Stephen's neck with a syringe filled with a dark coloured liquid. The effect is immediate. The camera catches just a flash of panic in Stephen's eyes before they roll back into his head and he collapses.

The men aren't gentle. They pull Stephen into their arms and  disappear . At least from the camera's view. It happens within the space of a few seconds at the most.

A few fucking seconds. That is all that it takes. It’s- 

She vaguely hears JARVIS informing them that he cannot see them in any of the other cameras. She hears FRIDAY informing Tony that the GPS location on both Stephen's phone and his watch has either been disabled or scrambled.

The voices clash in her head and even as she listens and takes in the information, she can't stop thinking.

Why didn't Stephen notice?

They had planned this. They had waited for this. For this moment to strike. For Stephen to leave the Tower on his own. That's fine. It wouldn't be the first time that someone has done that. That had targeted Stephen.

Given who he was, the heir to the D'Arte Fortune and the Sorcerer Supreme, Stephen has had plenty of people trying to kidnap him for ransom or to take him for his power. But it- It doesn't make sense. Stephen is an amazing sorcerer. He should have felt the presence of magic. He always had. How did he not this time?

"W-Why didn't Stephen feel that? He should have felt their magic." Clea can't help but ask. Tony doesn't have any answers. He's too busy looking for other clues, screens, trying to grab a still of the men's faces to run traces. Clea can't even keep up with the speed he spits out the commands.

But when Loki speaks, all of their  attention goes to him.

"We- Stephen and I- our- our focus has been... fraying." At those words, Tony's eyes snap to the god, as does Clea's.

"What?" Clea's voice is filled  with disbelief and that weird hollow feeling that's started to overtake her. Shock.

"Th-The Bond and the Connection between us isn't- They needed further grounding but-" Loki hangs his head as if ashamed and Clea can't understand.

She can't.

How could- The Connection is meant to help Sorcerers focus better. They are supposed to allow them to be grounded in the presence and magic of their Soulmate on top of their own magics.

Why would-

"Why didn't either of you tell me?" Tony demands as the god bites his lips and it looks as if it takes inhuman effort for the God of Mischief to turn his eyes to look at Tony.

When they do, the emerald green eyes are filled with pain and regret.

"How could I? When it is by my own sins that I have caused the rift between us?" Loki asks, his voice bitter. Defeated. Clea doesn't understand what the god is saying. But it's clear that Tony does. He lets out a shuddering breath.

"When Stephen comes back, we're going to fix this. I- This can't- This can’t happen again." Tony's voice is stern. Almost harsh. Loki nods.

"Anthony, I swear. I swear to you that I  _ will _ fix this. I  _ will _ return Stephen to you. Even if it is the last thing that I do." Loki says and before they can say anything else, he disappears. Teleporting himself away. To where, Clea can't even hope to tell, but by the gods she hopes that it's to Stephen.

Tony doesn't respond. He looks at the space that the god had been for a moment before he turns to look at Clea.

"Get Bruce and tell him to set up for trauma, just in case Stephen's hurt. Get Thor in here and call whoever you need to at the Order. Call Pepper and tell her that we need her here. Now." Tony's words aren't kind and playful as they are usually to her. They are harsh, commanding and firm. She nods.

He doesn't look to see if she obeys his orders.

He turns to the computer and continues to do whatever he is doing. She is  _ not _ going to comment on the fact that Tony is accessing Interpol databases or FBI databases. She's also not going to comment on the fact that Tony was scrambling every single one of SI satellites.

She doesn't care what it takes. They need to get Stephen back.

She moves.

~~~

**Monday**

**30 May 2011**

Finally.

_ Finally _ , he has what he has been working for all this time, Nicodemus thinks as he looks over the prone form of his rival, the man that had taken everything that was due to him. The man that was  _ always _ in the spotlight whilst he withered away in the shadows.

Vincent Strange.

Even now, the man is working as a doctor. He is living in the most expensive Penthouse in New York. He has all of the money, the fame and the respect that Nicodemus had always,  _ always _ wanted, hungered for and  _ deserved _ .

But now,  _ now _ , the tables are turned.

It's his turn to gloat. It's his turn to have the glory, the power, the money,  _ everything _ .

"Make sure the shields are up." Nicodemus commands as he looks over Vincent.

The Sorcerer Supreme.

Nicodemus and his coven can't quite feel magic like the sorcerers can. But they  _ have _ power. Through the Artefacts, the sacrifices of blood to fuel them, they were able to wield magic. It is, after all, just a form of energy to be manipulated.

But there is only  _ so much _ that they can do with the blood of the normal people walking about the streets. Oh, they tried all the combinations. They tried women, men, virgins, children. But every time, it hadn't made the difference.

The Chitauri body parts that they manage to steal had fared a little better, but not by much and the rarity and the possible run ins with SHIELD hadn't been worth the effort.

But the Sorcerer Supreme?

Nicodemus West smiles widely as he looks down at Vincent's vulnerable body. He wishes that he can wake Vincent up. Make him  _ see _ Nicodemus's moment of crowning glory as he fills up  with power .

He'd tasted it once before.

Just for a moment, but when he'd plunged  the knife into Vincent's back and the powerful blood filled with magic had spilled over the Artefact, he had  _ felt _ that power. He had  _ felt _ invincible and he has been wanting that,  _ needing _ that since that moment.

And now, he will have that again.

But alas, he knows better than to have Vincent awake and alert. He is far, far too clever and it is far, far too much of a risk for that mind to be active. No.

The combination of blood magic and the drugs will keep Vincent unconscious and that's what Nicodemus needs right now. He doesn't take chances. He makes sure that Vincent is tied down, that his shirt is ripped and that the sigils will be burnt into him to keep the blood flowing.

Once his coven members inform him that the shields are up and that they are safe and protected in what they have come to call their Sanctum, Nicodemus will get to work.

He will rip Vincent's veins open and he will pull the blood out from the Sorcerer Supreme until the Artefact is finally satisfied. Until the blood price has finally been paid and he  has full control over the magic it contains for once and for all time.

Oh it has taken so,  _ so  _ long for them to get to this point. Hasn't it?

To find this remote, abandoned location  on  Roosevelt Island, to lay the foundation of all of the spells that they needed to make sure that they could hide their activities right from under the noses of the Mystic Order.

To find the perfect moment to strike to get their prize. Oh, it has taken so, so much work and time and effort. But it will be worth it.

"Are you going to kill him?" One of the coven members ask almost nervously as Nicodemus moves to kneel by Vincent and makes sure that the vessels to catch the blood is ready.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Does it matter?" Nicodemus asks as the man shakes his head slowly. Good, he thinks as he makes the first cut along Stephen's chest.

The sigil is an ancient one. All the way from the Ancient Mayan days of blood sacrifices and lives offered to the gods. The primitive sigil is difficult to carve, but the Artefact is used to the sigil and more importantly, it is sharp.

There is  a certain satisfaction in marking up Vincent like this, Nicodemus has to admit. He can't help but laugh with delight as he watches the ancient magics and the magics woven into the air of their 'Sanctum' seeps into the Sorcerer Supreme's chest.

Now, time for the main event, Nicodemus thinks as he kneels by Stephen's wrist. He doesn't cut up. Oh he wants to, but to do so would risk the blood leaving the doctor's body a little too fast.

He wishes that he could use the old tools of his trade. A blood pump to get all of the blood out without wasting a single drop would be useful, but they have tried such methods before and  they are not as effective.

No. The cut has to be made with the Artefact and the blood must fall naturally from the sacrifice's body. Those are the rules of the magic that they wield., cut off from the more...  _ natural _ sources of magic by the Order.

Already, the power begins to build within the Artefact and by extension, in him. He feels the excitement build inside of him as he smiles widely and laughs.

Oh, Vincent, he thinks. In the end, it was always going to be him that wins. It's only a pity that Vincent will never know that.

Such,  _ such _ a pity.

~~~

**Monday**

**30 May 2011**

It takes longer than he had hoped.

Loki had teleported to the location Stephen had been seen last. He has the Connection and the Bond wide open, but he can't sense Stephen.

It's like that shield.

The one that Stephen had kept up during the invasion, only this time, he cannot feel Stephen at all and it's- Loki has to force himself to focus and to breathe and to remind himself that Stephen was most likely alive.

Even when he'd been at the other end of the universe, he had not felt this emptiness inside of him. There had at least been a tendril. A soft reminder of the Connection that remains between them, stretched as it may have been.

Now? Nothing.

All that he has left is the void. The emptiness where the Connection ought to be. It is- It is like having the sunlight kiss and warm your skin only to have it snatched away by the cold and harsh darkness. It's like- It's like falling through the Void.

Loki takes one shuddering breath after another. IT, that beast, that darkness inside of him unfurls itself. IT can feel all the dark and angry emotions inside of him and IT knows that he is weak enough for IT to try to reassert itself.

No.

He cannot allow that. Loki stamps down on the desire to cause pain. To kill. To maim. To destroy. That fierce need to see blood price exacted for the emptiness he feels inside is sharp and it's heady and it's- No.

Loki needs to control himself and IT.

He needs to find Stephen. He  _ must _ make certain that his Soulmate lives. And if he does not, the world- no. The universe itself will hear and feel his wrath.

Stephen, Loki thinks. Think of Stephen. His goodness, his kindness, despite all that Loki has done. Think of the soft trembling hands against his face. Think of the Connection that used to fill with warmth and calm. Loki breathes.

The location had given him a magical signature to work with. To trace. He's not sure if the Midgardian sorcerers can do what he can do. He's not sure if the magic is too old for them or not. It doesn't matter. If they do not know, he will teach them. He will teach Stephen.

Whoever they were, whatever they were, their magic, their very essence feels... slimy. Corrupted. Rotten. Loki's seidr recoils and does not want to be anywhere near it. He does not have a choice and neither does his magic.

Not for the first time, Loki is grateful that he has taken the liberty of  ensuring  that all of his magical tools, tomes and indeed most of his favoured clothes and books were all stored in a small slice of space between the dimensions that only he could reach into.

The scrying bowl isn't as effective without the clean waters from the springs of Asgard, but the water from Midgard with a touch of magic does the job. He is able to pull the sight of those that hold Stephen into view and when he does, Loki can't hold back the snarl that escapes his lips.

But the scrying bowl and his magic  have done their jobs. He can see where he needs to go. Where Stephen is. Standing tall upon the skyscraper he had teleported himself to, he barely takes the time to put the scrying bowl back where it belongs before he teleports.

The rage that burns through him is unlike  _ anything _ he has experienced before.

He barely feels the strain and the drain of passing through the shield designed to keep him and others of the Order, he suspects, out.

When he does arrive, Loki finds himself standing in the middle of a crumbling building in the process of being overtaken by age, neglect and nature.

Loki does not know the name of the location nor where it is on Midgard. He does not care to know. It matters to him not. Neither does the cries of surprise, the shouts, the weapons and spells aimed and thrown at him.

In his anger, in his rage, all that Loki can think about is Stephen and the need for retribution for those that have dared to,  _ dared _ to touch a finger upon his Soulmate. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, the calmer, the logical side of Loki warns him against the violence. The voice of sanity, barely holding on, tells him to be temperate. That it would be bad for him to cause a massacre upon a planet he'd barely been accepted on. 

He cannot listen to that voice of reason. 

His stomach rebels as the taint, the corrupted magics and the scent of old, rotting blood fills him. The disgusting, twisted and warped magics based on the energies of pure life that had once filled the blood is- It is overwhelming. 

It is almost difficult to breathe. 

But Loki barely notices that either as those magics are activated and turned against him. Because even as he feels all of that and sees the men and women with their eyes tainted with darkness  turn their magics against him, he sees Stephen. 

It feels like that first moment.

A moment in which time had stopped and all that had remained had been the visage of his Connected. Their Connection snapping into place. He cannot feel that now.

Loki has but a moment.

He takes that moment to drink in the pale countenance of his Soulmate and see that his chest rises and falls. And that's all he needs.

It focuses him and grounds him enough to move.

Tainted and filthy as their magic may be, it's nothing compared to a thousand years of magic built up and exercised within Loki. His experience, his knowledge and his Seidr are  more than a match for the humans and their foul magics. 

The men and women swear profanities, shout and scream. Their voices all blend into one chorus of madness and pain. Loki barely notices. The two knives, the ones Frigga herself had forged and placed into his hands as a child come to his hands. 

His Seidr, his magic, his essence, moves to protect Stephen as he cuts his way through the humans. He does not utter a single word. He does not even notice who or what it is that he is cutting through. 

When one approaches Stephen's prone body, Loki launches the knife at them, catching them squarely in the throat. They fall and crumble. He turns just in time to catch another moving towards him and rips his hands into their chest and pulls out their heart. 

Loki has always been capable of violence and horrific deeds. That is a part of being Asgardian. Being a warrior so fierce that one loses themselves to the heat of battle to become a  berserker  was one of the greatest honours amongst the Asgardians.

Loki has never lost himself to that bloodshed and blood lust.

Till now.

He does not care that they are humans. He does not care who or what they are. He kills. The monster inside of him  _ screams _ in rage as he kills. He feels a cut or two being made into his skin. He feels the poisons of their disgusting, rotten magic burning into him.

It doesn't matter.

Blood and viscera splash onto his face, his hair, his clothes. They stain his hands.

It does not matter.

He continues to move, cutting them down as he goes, reaching into their very chests and ripping out their hearts with his bare hands, wielding his magic like spears to keep the others away from Stephen.

His eyes, his focus never, ever  l eaves Stephen. Loki doesn't know how long it takes. But soon, there are no more breaths. No more presences, consciousnesses, heartbeats. Nothing. All that remains is the sound of Stephen's laboured breathing and heartbeat.

And slowly, but surely, the void inside of him  fills with Stephen's presence. The foul magics still linger but whatever spells had been up  have been shattered.

If Stephen had not been tied up and if Stephen wasn't bleeding and if his presence wasn't so faint, Loki would have fallen to the ground and wept with the sheer relief and gratitude.

But he does not have the luxury of time. Neither does Stephen.

Even when he reaches Stephen though, he cannot reach out to touch the man. For a moment, he simply cannot. There is that knowledge inside of him that tells him that his touch is not welcomed. That his touch is feared, as his sanity returns to him. 

But neither of them have a choice. 

Stephen's strength is fading and so is his presence. Loki cannot dawdle. Loki moves quickly. He heals the cuts on Stephen's wrists and undoes the bindings. The healing feels sluggish and wrong. They need to leave, Loki thinks.

Not only because he doesn't want Stephen to see the horror that he is capable of, but because even Loki, for all his experience and his talents with magic cannot work such pure, clean spells as healing within  these depraved walls stained with years of dark, twisted blood magics.

Stephen doesn't stir as Loki picks him up and for that, he is glad. He isn't sure how Stephen would be, if he were to be awake in a moment like this. It would, no doubt, frighten him.

Loki wishes that he  had  the time to relish in being able to pull Stephen into his arms and to hold the sorcerer in his arms, like he belongs there. But he can't.

Already, the cuts on Stephen's wrists are opening again and he can smell the blood. He can feel the blood. Loki moves.

"I will fix this, beloved. I  _ will _ not fail you." Loki promises the unconscious Stephen as he fades from the building.

Loki doesn't see, nor does he care about the scene of pure horror that he leaves behind. Dozens of bodies are strewn on the ground around the table Stephen had been bound upon. Blood covers the floor, the walls and are sprayed onto the  ceiling . Not a single soul is left breathing.

If Loki had known, he might have paid more attention to the man dressed in the white doctor's coat. As it is, he hadn't known. Slowly, the white coat slowly becomes crimson with blood and the Artefact falls from the corpse's hand onto the blood covered floor.

As it is, Loki does not even notice the knife plunged deep into his back. 

All he can feel is the warmth of Stephen and his breath against his skin. 

That is all that matters. 

~~~

**Monday**

**30 May 2011**

Roosevelt Island.

As much as Tony loves Stephen's magic and can accept it in their  lives, he was starting to develop a strong dislike and distrust for magic in anyone else's hands. 

All of his satellites, all of his tech and Tony can't find Stephen. 

In the city of millions, Tony can't find his lover and it's- He hates it. He knows that they are still in New York. Apparently, Clea is certain of that at least. So he concentrates in New York. 

He pulls on the satellites. He uses and abuses his access to all of the surveillance cameras, both his own and the city's. 

The footage that they manage to capture, they analyse. They get the stills of the men's faces and run them through the Interpol systems, FBI systems and the internet over all. 

FRIDAY and JARVIS gives him names to work with. He uses that to get all their details that he can. 

He tries to track down Stephen using the tech that he had on him at the time of the kidnapping. There is nothing. 

Fuck. 

Tony feels his hands shaking as he works. It's- He needs Stephen to be okay. He can't stop thinking about the smile on Stephen's lips as he had said goodbye as he went to work. He can't stop thinking about the fact that he didn't say 'I love you' or the fact that he hadn't kissed the man. He should have, he thinks. 

It's hard to focus. 

It's hard to work and to think when all he wants to do is curl up into a ball in the bed that they'd only left a few hours ago and cry and pray and hope. 

Loki is gone to god only knows where. 

Pepper is working on finances and pulling on Stark Industries resources. She has the investigators and security team working. They go to the scene to look for any possible evidence. 

Just in case it's a financially motivated kidnapping, Pepper liaises with Anderson to make sure that they have the financial resources to answer any demands. All the while she is trying to fly back to New York. 

Clea doesn't say, but Tony has a feeling that the kidnapping is a personal one. But he also can't help but think that perhaps it's his fault. 

All the exposure that he has given to Stephen and his work and perhaps just exposure to Tony's life in the limelight had made Stephen vulnerable and Tony hadn't taken the precautions that he ought to have. 

Tony is not an idiot. He knows that he isn't fallible and more, he knows that he is a target. Whenever he is in the public's eyes, he has security teams. Whenever Pepper is in the public's eyes, she has security teams. 

But he hasn't taken such precautions with Stephen because like an idiot, he had assumed that the man already had them through D'Arte. But looking back, he had never seen any signs to indicate that there was any security. 

Tony had increased his own since he'd come out as Iron Man and until now, after he'd found out about Stephen's status as the Sorcerer Supreme, he had thought that perhaps such measures weren't necessary because Stephen  could take care of himself. 

But he hadn't been able to. 

That's not on Stephen, of course not. It's not on Tony either. Logically, he knows that. But emotions aren't logical and neither are fears and regrets. 

There is also a part of him that screams at himself for failing to notice that Stephen had been quietly slipping. That his focus had been slipping and he had become vulnerable. 

With what had been happening with Loki and all of the conversations they'd shared on the topic, Tony should have paid more attention. 

He should have made sure that he kept Stephen's state in his mind and checked in with Loki and made sure that they were getting enough of the physical contact they needed to stay focused. 

But he hadn't. 

And it was partially because even now, even after agreeing that yes, having Loki in bed with them is an attractive proposition, there is a part of him that resents that. There is a part of him that resents the fact that he can't feel the Connection and that he can't be enough for Stephen. 

And that part of him has delayed the inevitable and this was the result. 

Fuck. 

He promised he wouldn't do this. He had promised himself and he had promised Stpehen that he wouldn't do this. That he would support and protect Stpehen and do what was best for him. But no. Once again, his need to be the centre of attention and to control everything had- 

No. No. That's- That's not right. 

Tony takes a deep breath. 

It's so hard to control the negative spiral of emotions and thoughts and doubts from taking over his mind. He takes several deep  breaths . He closes his eyes and shuts out the clamour of the room. 

Everyone is working together to find Stephen. It was no one's fault but those of the kidnappers and they were going to pay. One way or another, they were going to pay and they were going to get Stephen back. 

And when they do, Tony was going to be better. He was going to do better and he was going to make sure that Stephen is stable and focused and so is Loki. 

He is going to assign a security team to Stephen and Loki and everyone else and make sure that something like this can never,  _ ever _ happen again. 

He can take a suit, Tony thinks as he looks over the satellite images of Roosevelt Island. It's not that big and he can just fly over the space and see if he can see something. For  _ something _ . 

It might be a shitty game of hot and cold, but he can do it. He  _ can _ . It’s better than  _ nothing _ . 

The conference room is filled with their friends. They are all worried and they are all working frantically. Jane is working with Bruce to try to geolocate something or another whilst Thor sits pensively, waiting for a chance to go. 

Thor will help. He can fly out with Thor and they can bring the place down if they need to. Bruce has readied the clinic and they have everything set up so that if Stephen is hurt, they can treat his injuries. 

Clea has Grimshaw on the way just in case for both their medical and magical assistance. 

Pepper is stopped from calling the law enforcement agencies and no one calls SHIELD. Not because they don't need help, but because no one knows where Loki is.

And even though the others may not know, at the very least Tony and Thor knows only too well what Loki could be capable of if Stephen was in dire danger. Probably something like what Tony would be capable of.

Tony should care about that.

He should worry about just how much damage the god might do or just how deadly any confrontation could be. But he can't. He can't worry about the lives of people that have taken Stephen. He doesn't care if that makes him a horrible human being.

He does not give a fuck if they all die painful deaths. In fact, there is a part of him that hopes that they do. 

"I'm going to take a suit and go to-" Tony is about to say that he would head over the Roosevelt Island because it's been almost an hour and he can't- He can't just keep planning.

He needs to do  _ something. _

But before he can, JARVIS interrupts him.

"Sir, Prince Laufeyson and Dr Strange have just teleported into the Tower." JARVIS announces and the relief that runs through him is so complete that Tony almost feels his knees give out. 

"Oh thank God." It's a sentiment that Tony isn't sure if he says or if someone else says but it's shared one and he feels like he can finally breathe again. That is until JARVIS makes the next announcement. 

"Sir, I- I believe both require immediate medical attention." JARVIS says and Tony isn't even sure who moves first, but Bruce, Clea, Thor and him are moving. They run out of the room and make it to the elevator. 

The others move to follow, but Thor is firm as he shakes his head and looks at them. 

"No. Stay here and ready the healers." Thor says and they all nod, but the question is obvious. Bruce steps back out of the elevator but Clea remains. Tony doesn't care. He just needs to be moving. 

He just needs to see Stephen for himself and make sure that he is okay. To hold him in his arms, kiss him and whisper a thousand 'I love you's into his ears. 

The elevator does eventually move. To the residential floor where Loki, Thor, Jane and Darcy's apartments are. Tony doesn't need guidance from JARVIS. 

As soon as the doors open, Tony bursts out of the elevator and runs to Loki's apartment. The door opens quickly and the moment he does, Tony comes to a complete stop. 

His knees give out as he takes in the sight before his eyes. 

No! 

~~~ 


	16. Something is... Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, there are prices to be paid and there are sacrifices that must be made. 
> 
> For some, the price and what it is that must be sacrificed doesn't matter. 
> 
> There are some, for whom any price is acceptable. 
> 
> Stephen Strange is one such being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.   
Right. So. The Cliffhangers. I really am sorry for them. As I have said in reply to some of the comments, Chapter 14 was a purposeful cliffhanger that sort of fit right into place. Then the rest of them just fell in that way because unfortunately, that's just how the chapters ended up coming out of my head. 
> 
> It is basically where the dominos have fallen. 
> 
> Once again, this chapter is a bit on the experimental side in terms of the writing style etc but I do hope that it does what is intended and gives you the emotions that I hoped to convey. 
> 
> Please do let me know what you think and do remember that I only write happy ending stories... aka please prepare the angst blankets. 
> 
> I love you guys, the beautiful comments and the wonderful support and once again, I am so sorry. I really did try to go without the cliffhangers. But 4 rewrites later... this is the best I could do. 
> 
> <3   
The terrible writer who can't write anything short.

**Monday**

**30 May 2011 **

Helplessness burns through him. 

It won't stop. 

It doesn't matter how much magic he uses, or what spells he conjures. 

It  _ won't stop _ . 

He needs it to stop. He  _ needs _ the sigil to stop flashing. He  _ needs _ the wound to stop reopening He  _ needs-  _ He  _ just needs _ it to stop working. He needs the spell to just stop. Just- Just- 

Oh dear Norns, he doesn't have- 

A thousand years. A  _ thousand _ years of studying magic, practising magic and he can't- why can't he do this? What good is all of that time and- 

The taint of the blood magic burns through him. 

He can feel  its clawing edges clinging on, insidious, dark and twisted as he tries to cleanse Stephen of it, to rid  him of  its filth so that the wounds will heal and remained healed. But it won't. 

Loki doesn't know this sigil. 

He doesn't know this type of magic. It hadn't-  _ Why doesn't he know _ ? 

Bitter disappointment and anguish burns through him. 

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and blood flows.**

Loki bites his lips till it bleeds as he holds Stephen as tightly as he can without hurting him and pours what magic he can into the wounds to close  them up again, even if it is only for a moment. 

The Connection inside of him, that Bond between them burns with the pain that Stephen's body feels, even if the Sorcerer Supreme himself is unconscious and unaware of it. 

Loki's head swims with the panic and helplessness he feels as he tries to do something.  _ Anything _ to stop the sigil from working again. 

But it does. 

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and blood flows. **

Over and over and over and over again. 

It's- It's a momentary thing but all Loki can do is hold Stephen in his arms, praying to the Norns as he heals those cuts over  and over and over again as he desperately thinks. 

Loki's mind is in absolute and utter chaos as he tries, he  _ tries _ in vain to do something to  _ fix _ this. He doesn't even know where to- 

Blood pools between them. Around them. Seeping into the carpet, their clothes. Across their skins. Leaving the body that needs it to sustain life. 

Loki wants to pull it all back. 

He wishes that he could force the blood back into Stephen's failing body. He wishes that he could give his own. He wishes that he could- How could he not do this? 

This is all- This can't be happening. This can't- 

This  _ has _ to be a nightmare. This can't- This  _ can't- _ Oh dear Norns please, he begs, he  _ prays _ . 

Loki is a mage. He has studied magic for a thousand years. He has learnt from the best of the best throughout the Nine Realms. He is a  _ god _ . Yet- Yet, he can't- 

The panic and desperation changes to despair and devastation. 

Loki isn't sure when the tears started. He can't even feel them, but they flow, as does the blood from his lips. Together, they cut a grotesque path through the drying blood and viscera covering his face to fall upon Stephen's pale visage. 

Even the tears are stained red with the blood as they fall upon the Sorcerer Supreme's face. Loki cannot even wipe them away without leaving a further trail of blood upon his beautiful face. Loki's hands tremble. 

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and the blood flows. **

Loki heals, growing weaker, exhausted and drained with each attempt. So does Stephen. Loki can feel it. He can feel his Soulmate fading away, his presence growing weaker and weaker and the Connection between them becoming faint and their Bond- 

No. 

NO! 

This can't happen. This can't be  _ allowed _ to happen.

He  _ can't _ lose Stephen.

He  _ can't _ lose his Soulmate.

Hasn't he _lost_ _enough_ already? He has _lost_ himself. He has _lost_ his place in the world. He has _lost_ access to his child. He has _lost_ his lover. He has _lost_ a year of his life to torture and he has _lost_ a part of himself.

Hasn't he lost  _ enough _ ? 

Anger burns through the devastation  and despair . How  _ much _ must he pay? How much more can he do? What must he do to have just a  _ glimpse _ of happiness others can so easily acquire? Why is  _ he _ not- 

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and the blood flows. **

Loki desperately pulls at everything that he can from the Yggdrasil. He pours it into the wounds. He heals and he heals and he heals. 

It doesn't make a difference. 

The tears turn to  wrenching  sobs as he clutches at Stephen desperately, kneeling upon the soft blood stained carpet of his living room. 

Loki's body burns with pain. The wounds carved into his own body bleed sluggishly with the black blood of the poison burning through him. But he can't feel them. He can't notice them. 

It doesn't matter. 

There are others in the room. There are desperate cries, there are murmured voices. There is the cry from Tony's voice and the sharp ache of his pain and anguish and fear drumming through their Connection. 

_ It doesn't matter.  _

The shield that Loki had placed instinctively holds the others back. He feels them pushing against it. They are crying out to him. He does not hear them. 

_ It. Doesn't. Matter.  _

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and blood flows. **

The cry that is pulled from him is  guttural  as he pushes the last of his magic into Stephen. The drain makes his magic sluggish. As he loses  hope he loses focus. That's it. There is nothing more left. There is- 

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and blood flows. **

Loki tries. He pulls but nothing comes to his hands as he tries to heal the cuts. Even the shield is failing. There is- 

**The sigil flashes. The wounds reopen and blood flows. **

The Connection between them frays. Tearing and breaking as Stephen's life leaves through those wounds. No. No. 

No!

No. Loki won't  _ allow _ this. He  _ will not _ allow this to happen. He cannot and he  _ will _ not lose Stephen Strange. This will  _ not _ be allowed to pass. 

Loki takes a deep breath. 

He looks down at Stephen. He looks down at the beautiful, beautiful man he has harmed so irrevocably. 

Atonement. Amendment. Repentance. 

That is what he has promised. That is the promise that he was failing to keep.

No. 

There has to be- There  _ has _ to be something that he can- Oh. 

Oh! 

There is. 

There is one thing that he can do. Something that he knows he shouldn't do.

But there isn't a choice is there? No. There isn't. There has never been. He takes a deep breath. 

He knows what to do. 

The despair and the devastation fades away. A sense of calm washes over him even as Stephen's blood pools into his lap. It does not matter. It will be fine. He can fix this. He can give Stephen the life that he deserves. 

Yes. 

Loki almost smiles in that moment. 

There  _ is _ something that he can do. Even if- No. It doesn't matter, he tells himself. It doesn't. He has to atone. He has to make amendments. He has to repent for his sins. Even if- Even if it is the last thing that he does. 

Loki smiles. 

~~~ 

**Monday **

**30 May 2011 **

All souls, whether they belong to the dead or to the living are under her domain within the Nine Realms. 

Hel could not be more grateful for her powers and her unique abilities as she had been in the past year than she had ever been. 

She cannot see Loki. 

Not like Odin can. Not like Heimdall can. But she can sense him and it is enough. She can feel his soul echoing through Midgard, a signature that she recognises intimately. She can  _ see _ his beautiful, beautiful, broken soul. 

She has felt his soul as it had trembled and bowed down under the weight of the fractures wrought upon it as he had come back from the edge of space where he had been. 

She had felt his soul dance with joy as he was reunited with his Soulmates. They too, are now bright sparks upon her mind's vision. They had always been bright sparks, even amongst the billions upon billions of souls that traverse the blue and green planet. 

But since they had Connected with Loki, they had burned brighter and warmer in her mind's  eye . Always drawing her attention, making sure that she keeps a firm eye upon them. 

Whenever she has a moment, she looks upon them. She closes her eyes, she focuses her very being until she can see their souls as clearly as the day itself. 

They are... beautiful souls. 

Not quite perfect, but beautiful in their own flawed ways. The two of them fit together well. There is a piece missing from each of them, the place where Loki's soul would fit, but she sees how they resonate with each other, how they are able to bring strength to each other. 

When they are near, they burn brighter than all of the other souls within her mind's eye . 

It is under the warm afternoon sun that Hel sits with her handmaidens upon the fields of Helheim. 

The inner peace of knowing that her father lives and her celebration of his life and his Soulmates and the joy that they bring upon her own soul has brought the fields of Helheim back to life and has given all of Helheim the eternal spring that the dead deserves. 

As is her habit, Hel lays upon the soft, lush grass, her fingers trailing through the long grass as she closes her eyes. With a soft smile upon her lips, she focuses on the three souls she watches over oh so carefully. 

Her smile turns into a mask of horror within moments. 

One of the souls, one of Loki's Soulmates's souls are- they are fading. Losing the bright spark that they had always carried within. 

There is nothing that she can do. Not from her glorified imprisonment. All she can do is pray to the Norns, her heart at her throat as she watches it flicker and fade. 

She sees Loki's Soul, crying out, all but screaming its rage, its immeasurable pain as it feels a part of it beginning to wane and lose the life that it holds. 

She focuses upon the souls of her father and his Soulmate and prays and prays. 

She does not know if the Norns hear her but she prays that they will. Her father deserves better than the life that he had been given. They had been cruel to him and this is cruelty that he does not deserve.

She cannot be certain that her prayers are heard. But she sees Loki's Soul shake and shudder with fear. Then she feels the calm. She sees it still. 

Then the unthinkable happens and she cannot- 

There is no force upon the Nine Realms that could have stopped her from crying out. 

Her scream echoes through the planes and valleys of Helheim. The thunder clouds form above them all. The entire Realm loses the light of the day as the darkness of her heart fills the world. 

Harsh, freezing cold rain begins to fall from the skies. 

As do the tears from her emerald green eyes. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**31 May 2011 **

_ He should move. _

_ He should do something. He knows that he should. There _ has _ to be something that he can do right? Something that he should be doing.  _

_ Get up! He all but shouts at himself.  _

_ But he can't. Tony can't get his legs to move and he can't get himself to stand up. He can't- He can only sit there, like an idiot and let the tears fall as he watches. _

_ Dread, helplessness, despair, fear, devastation, regret, hatred- there  _ _ aren't  _ _ enough words in the fucking English language for him to describe how he feels in that moment.  _

_ The sigil flashes and not a moment later, the green and gold of Loki's magic flashes. He can see the desperation on Loki's horrific gore covered visage. _

_ Tony lets out a gasp as he watches the carving upon Stephen's chest flash again and again. Each time, the cuts on Stephen's wrists open back up and blood flows. Again and again and again.  _

_ Stephen continues to bleed even as his wrists heal, cut back open and heals once again. The cycle repeats and repeats and repeats and- _

_ They are all frozen in that moment, unable to move, unable to do anything  _ _ but watch _ _ . But after a moment, they move. He doesn't. He can't. He can't stand up. He can't move his legs. He- He can't!  _

_ Thor and Clea try but they can't get past the soft green and gold shield that  _ _ blocks _ _ them.  _

_ Seeing Loki covered from head to toe in blood and things that Tony doesn't want to think about and seeing Stephen, pale and bleeding with the mark carved onto his beautiful chest is- This has to be a nightmare. It has to be.  _

It isn't. 

_ This can't be real. _

It is. 

_ This- Tony doesn't need someone to tell him that Stephen is-  _

Dying. 

_ He doesn't need FRIDAY to frantically flash Stephen's vitals to know that his lover is in there, in Loki's arms bleeding to-. _

Death. 

_ Oh Gods, please. No. _

_ The floor near Loki and Stephen is covered, no, drenched in blood and it spreads and seeps into the carpet and Tony can feel his stomach turning and his mouth filling with that acrid taste of _

_ bile rising. _

_ He's not even sure when the tears have started, but they have and he hates that he isn't strong enough to stand up. That he isn't strong enough to move to be there for his lover as he is- _

Dying. 

_ Oh god. No. Please. Please no, Tony thinks. He can't- He can't even think about losing Stephen. He can't. He'd just done- _

_ For a moment, Tony can't breathe. _

_ All he can see in front of him is the portal, the Chitauri Army. All he can feel is the dread, the despair of knowing that he's about to-  _

Kill Stephen. _ _

_ All he can hear is Stephen's beautiful voice telling him that it's okay but it's not and- _

_ Tony. Can't. Breathe. _

Stephen. Stephen. Stephen. 

_ The flashes of magic is what brings him back to the present _ _ , _ _ that and the wrecking, devastating sobs from the god.  _

No. No. No. No. 

_ The brilliant flashes of gold and green with the soft moan from Stephen. It anchors him to the present. _

Stephen. Oh God. Stephen. Please.

_ He can barely keep his eyes open as the magic flashes again and again and Loki's desperation grows as does his despair. _

_ Please don't let this be real.  _

It is. 

_ Tony doesn't need the fucking Connection to share that despair and that desperation and that need to do something. Anything. _

There is nothing to do. 

_ Except- Except there isn't anything that he can do. All he can do is sit there like an idiot and just- just what? What can he- _

Nothing. 

_ "Please Stephen, please don't- Please don't leave me." Tony isn't even sure when the mantra started, but his lips move and he whispers those words over and over again. He can't get up.  _

_ Then Loki's demeanour changes. Everything goes quiet and calm. But it's not- It's not calm. No. Not really. It's- It's that charged calm before the storm.  _

_ When the dread fills your stomach and you know.  _

You know. 

_ Tony hears the gasps from Thor and Clea. _

_ "Loki no!" The shout is thunderous and desperate as he slams his fist upon the shield but Loki doesn't hear it. _

Please save him. 

_ If Tony hadn't been so focused on Stephen and making sure that he can see his lover _ _ is _ _ still breathing, he might have thought that the display of magic erupting from Loki's skin was beautiful. _

It is. 

_ The bright gold and green lights spill from Loki's skin and it's like the air itself is filled with magic as Loki leans over Stephen as he cradles the doctor in his arms and gently, ever so gently, Loki kisses Stephen. _

_ If Tony had a breath to spare, he might have lost it in that moment. _

He doesn't. 

_ It is an image of dedication. Of complete and utter reverence. The kiss isn't a romantic one. It is one of devotion. Of a prayer. It's a kiss of a promise. _

_ It's a kiss of repentance. _

It is a kiss of farewell. 

_ Tony can't quite hear what Loki whispers against those lips, but a moment after that, everything happens at once. _

_ The bright lights of Loki's magic disappears into Stephen, the shield collapses and so does Loki. In that moment, Tony isn't sure how, but he moves as do the others. _

_ He manages to get his feet underneath him and he rushes forward and all but collapses next to Stephen. _

_ He pulls the doctor into his arms just as Thor pulls Loki into his. Tony can feel the blood seeping up from the drenched carpet into his pants. He doesn't care. He cradles Stephen in his arms. He's alive.  _

He isn't. 

_ Stephen feels warm.  _

He isn't. 

_ Stephen breathes.  _

He isn't. 

_ The scream bubbles up in his chest.  _

Tony snaps awake, the scream still upon his lips. He swallows it quickly as he tastes the bile at the back of his throat. 

That's not right. That's not what happened. 

Tony looks down. Stephen is here. He  _ is _ alive. He  _ is _ breathing. FRIDAY keeps Stephen's vitals displayed for him. She lets him hear the steady thrumming of Stephen's heartbeat. He's okay. 

It's okay. 

It's okay. Tony tells himself over and over again as he struggles and manages to loosen the hold on Stephen, lest he hurt the man more than he'd already been hurt. 

It's okay. 

Loki has healed him. 

Later, he will think about the god. He will  thank the god for going and getting Stephen. For fighting for Stephen's life. For bringing his lover back to him. For the sacrifices that he has made. 

But for now, Tony can't. 

He runs a hand down his face and feels the sweat and tears mixing on his face. He should go and wash it off. But he doesn't want to. Even if it feels gross and he could use a splash of cold water, he can't. 

Ever since he had picked Stephen up from the blood drenched floor, he hasn't let go of the doctor for longer than a minute. He hadn't let him out of his sight. He can't. 

He had refused all help to bathe Stephen, to get rid of all the blood that had stained him and as Bruce and Grimshaw had suggested, to warm him up. 

Tony had held him, had watched him and had compulsively laid his head over Stephen's chest to make sure that he can hear the steady and slow heartbeat. 

Even when he had to go to the bathroom for just a moment, JARVIS had understood. The AI had made sure that a screen that showed both Stephen's vitals and his form laying upon the bed was shown to him at all times. 

It's irrational. Tony knows that. 

Grimshaw, Clea and Pepper are in the Penthouse level with him. They are sleeping, but he knows that if something were to happen, they would be alerted and they would help. 

The building is on full lock down. There are bulletproof glass all throughout the Penthouse. Short of an Iron Man suit or a missile, nothing was going to get in. 

The sorcerers have told him that the Penthouse is protected very much the same as the Sanctums were. That Stephen has spent months fortifying the place with magic to make it a safe place. 

There are security personnel posted outside of the Penthouse balconies. They are posted throughout the building.

It's not enough. 

Tony has his bracelets on to make sure that he can get his suit if he needs it. In fact, the case with the suit is just outside of the bedroom. It's paranoid. He knows that. He doesn't give a fuck. 

It is  _ not enough _ . 

There is still terror clenching his stomach and heart and it's hard to breathe as it is. Even with Stephen in front of his very eyes. Tony can't- He takes a deep breath. 

He needs to sleep. He knows that. 

He slips into moments of quick sleeps. But each time he does, he remembers those sights and he wakes up with the scream burning his throat and even though he is so, so bloody fucking exhausted, he can't actually rest. 

Even with Stephen in his arms, for the first time since Afghanistan, Tony has nightmares when sleep does inevitably overcome his exhausted mind and body. He wonders why. He had thought that the Connection bullshit would keep the nightmares away. As it had after Afghanistan. 

Or is it because it's about Stephen? 

He's not sure. 

Tony takes the moment of wakefulness, his heart racing and exhaustion weighing down his limbs, to check on Stephen. The doctor is still very pale, but that is to be expected. No one can completely replace all the blood and energy and the magic that he'd lost, according to Grimshaw. 

It will take time for Stephen to heal and he will need to be  on bedrest for some time. Pepper doesn't even question it. She simply tells him that she will speak to Madam Secretary Javier and ask for at least three weeks of extension before their first meeting with the General Assembly and that she will take care of everything. 

But in all honesty, Tony doesn't care about any of that. Not right now. He should feel bad. He should be worried. He should- 

He really, really should be grateful and  feels  bad. 

Ever since this Iron Man thing, he has been dumping so much work upon her shoulders. But she had borne it well and when he tried to thank her, because even in the state he is in, he can be grateful, she had only shaken her head. 

'You're family. So is Stephen and so is Clea. I can't put on an Iron Man suit or work magic, but I can do this for you. Let me- Let me protect you and our family the only way that I can.' Pepper had said, her eyes determined and strong. Tony would need that strength in the foreseeable future. He knows that. 

He had nodded. Thanked her. Told her how much he loved her as she had leaned down and kissed Tony softly on the forehead and leaned further down to kiss Stephen on the forehead as well before she had left the bedroom. 

It's odd. Normally, like when he'd been laid out in bed for injuries or even during the chelation therapy, he had gotten so bored of laying still that he did anything, everything imaginable to distract himself. 

But he can't even remember the time having gone past as he had curled up in the bed with Stephen in his arms, trying not to sleep, slipping for a few moments into the nightmares, waking up only to struggle not to sleep once again. 

It's- Tony sighs as he cards his fingers through Stephen's hair and moves down onto the bed properly to lay his head down on Stephen's chest. 

The steady heart beat that he can hear reverberating through that chest and the warm, scarred hand that he holds is everything. 

When Stephen wakes up, Tony is going to kiss his warm lips. He is going to whisper countless 'I love you's into the doctor's ears and watch him blush. 

He is going to hold him and caress him and just relish in the fact that he is alive as he looks into those impossible grey blue eyes. 

He will get the chance to do that. 

He will. It's okay, he reminds himself. Stephen is back. He is alive. And he is right here, in Tony's arms where he belongs. It's okay. 

It's okay. 

It really, really isn't. 

~~~

**Wednesday **

**1 ** **June** ** 2011 **

Stephen doesn't wake up slowly. 

He wakes up with a start and confusion that makes it so very difficult to think. To feel. It's- It's not a gentle awakening. His eyes snap open and he gasps as he awakens. 

His heart races, though he doesn't know why and there is a sense of wrongness that grabs him and holds him hostage. 

Panic rises to his throat, but he can't- Why- 

"Shh, it's okay baby. You're safe." Tony's soft voice tells him and Stephen looks up. He sees the beautiful caramel brown eyes and he feels some of the panic dissipate. But not all. 

What- What has happened? 

What is going on? 

His limbs feel heavy and it's hard to breathe and- 

Something is wrong. 

But he can't put his finger on it and when Tony lays him down, he moves as the genius dictates.  He settles back into the bed , even as his heart continues to race and something screams in his mind. 

Something is wrong. 

Tony climbs onto the bed next to him. He is warm and he is so incredibly gentle as he rights the sheets around Stephen and puts his head over Stephen's chest and sighs as if relieved. 

"Thank God, Stephen. I was- I was so worried." Tony says his voice filled with so much emotion that Stephen can't even read them all. He blinks. 

Something is wrong. 

"A-Anthony?" His voice sounds hoarse, as if he hasn't used it in a long, long time and it is difficult to speak. His throat is parched and he is so, so incredibly thirsty. 

Tony reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a bottle of water, complete with a straw and helps him take small sips of water. Stephen drinks, grateful for the liquid as  it travels down his throat. 

Once he has had a taste, he wants more. Tony chuckles near his ear and helps him to drink the rest of the bottle. Tony is so incredibly gentle. 

Something is wrong. 

"W-What happened?" It takes him two tries, but he manages to ask. His voice is barely a whisper. He feels weak. Exhausted. Drained. Tony doesn't answer him. 

But there is a smile on Tony's lips and it's, there are so, so many emotions swimming through Tony's eyes, his smile, his very presence that Stephen feels like he has missed something very important. 

Something very, very big. 

That sense of wrongness pervades his thoughts again but he still can't put his finger on it. 

"I love you Stephen. I love you. I love you." Tony repeats over and over again as he leans over him and Stephen feels wet tears fall on his face as he looks up at his lover. 

Tony's dark brown lashes are wet with tears and made all the longer and lush for them. They are beautiful, as are his tear filled eyes. Confusion is only overridden by the love that he feels for the man as Tony cups Stephen's face in both of his hands. 

Tony's hands tremble as they hold Stephen as if he is the most fragile of  china in the world and holds him oh so carefully before he leans down and lays a soft kiss upon Stephen's lips. 

Something is  _ wrong _ . 

Tony's eyes close as their lips meet and as they do, more tears fall upon Stephen's face. But his eyes too close as he melts under the warm and soft kiss. 

But his heart continues to beat fast. Screaming that something isn't right. Something is- 

"Anthony, what- What happened? Wh-Why are you crying?" Stephen manage to ask when the genius pulls away from the kiss. 

The soft wetness of the kiss and the tears linger and his skin feels sensitive. Stephen wants to wipe the tears away from his face and from Tony's. But he can't. His limbs feel heavy and so do his eyelids. 

Something  _ is wrong _ . 

"Because I'm-" Tony cuts himself off. He takes a deep breath and he wipes his own tears away. Stephen ought to be doing that. Why can't he? Stephen manages to move his hand and Tony grabs it gently in his and kisses the back of them softly before he moves so that Stephen can easily look up to him. 

Tony doesn't let go of his hand. 

"Baby, what's the last thing you remember?" Tony asks him. His voice is so soft and gentle. So... relieved. Stephen frowns. It's- it's hard to think. Stephen wrangles the scattered nature of his mind. 

"Breakfast with the group." Stephen says with a frown as he tries to remember. 

He got up from bed, laughing and darting away from Tony as he tried to pull him back to bed for a morning romp, citing the fact that he has work and that they have breakfast to attend to. 

He remembers the hot shower. The water cascading down his face and back as Tony had joined him. He remembers the sliding of their naked and wet skin against each other as he had given into the insistent demands and insatiable desires of his lover with a laugh. 

They had washed each other, dried, gotten dressed and gone down to breakfast. 

"And after that?" Tony prompts him gently when Stephen doesn't continue. He blinks. 

"Then I went to work." Stephen says with a frown. There's nothing odd that- 

Oh. 

The presence behind him, the sense that something was wrong and a brief flash of panic. The sharp- 

Stephen tries to raise his hand to his neck, but he can't quite manage it. Tony notices. There is a sad smile on his lips as he nods slowly. 

"At 9:55am, you were attacked." Tony says quietly. Stephen can hear the strain in his voice as Tony struggles to keep it steady as he talks. 

"Two men  appeared out of thin air behind you. Clea said that they used magic." Oh, Stephen thinks. Oh. 

He remembers that. 

He remembers that even in that moment, as the needle had entered his neck that he'd been an idiot. He had been so distracted by his thoughts and it had been so difficult to focus on his magic with all that had been happening with Loki that he hadn't noticed the presence of magic. 

_ Something is wrong _ . 

"They- They used something to knock you out. Then they disappeared from the cameras. We don't know how. But they took you Stephen. They- They took you." Tony's voice shows just how much stress the man had been under. 

Stephen feels the sharp guilt forming inside of him as he tries to put some  strength into his hand so that Tony can feel some measure of comfort. The genius gives him a soft smile as he pats the hand he is holding. 

"We couldn't find you baby. Whatever it is that they did, they- they messed with your phone and your watch and I couldn't- I couldn't find you. I'm- I'm so sorry." Tony says and Stephen frowns. 

It's not Tony's fault. How could it be? 

It's hard to think, but Stephen knows that if they had been using magic and if they were able to even through up rudimentary shields, they would have been able to block the signals from the phone and the watch all too easily. 

He had never told Tony that he supposes. It would have irked Tony to realise just how easily magic could render such tracking technology useless. 

_ Something is wrong _ .

"It's not your fault." Stephen tells him. It's still hard to speak and there's exhaustion pulling so heavily down upon him that Stephen isn't sure how long he can stay awake for, but he wants to reassure Tony at the very least. 

Knowing how much Tony loves him and knowing what he himself would have felt in Tony's position, Stephen knows just how difficult it must have been for the genius. 

How scared he must have been, how frustrated and angry and fearful he must have been. Especially with the genius's lack of understanding when it comes to magic, it would have been all the more difficult for him to understand what has happened. 

And it would have been all the more frightening. 

"We- We managed to find out that you were somewhere on Roosevelt Island. That was between Clea, Bruce, Thor, Jane, Darcy, Pepper and me, that is." Tony says and Stephen nods. He has to admit, he is quite impressed by that. 

"By the way, if any FBI agents bursts into the room and tries to arrest me, I fully expect you to spirit me away." Tony tells him, an attempt at levity that unfortunately falls flat due to the seriousness in his eyes and the watery nature of his voice. 

Stephen smiles anyway and manages a small nod. 

"I- Loki did find you though." Tony says and Stephen is somewhat surprised by that. Where was the god? Given the Connection and the Bond, the god would have been just as distraught as Tony had been. Or perhaps even more so, considering that he would have felt what had happened to Stephen. 

_ Something. Is. Wrong. _

"He- Stephen, he got you out. He got to you and he killed everyone there." Tony's voice isn't horrified as he would have expected. He sounds... satisfied instead. 

Stephen can't fault him. He can't fault Loki either. 

"Oh. Is-" It going to cause a problem? Stephen thinks and tries to say, but Tony shakes his head. 

"Your people handled it. But baby, they- before Loki got to you, they- they did something to you." Tony says and Stephen nods slowly. He figured something would have happened. 

It's not really normal for him to feel so absolutely drained and exhausted like this. And there is that voice, screaming inside of his head, telling him that- 

_ Something. Is. WRONG. _

He can't figure it out. He's too tired and he is so- 

"It's- It's going to be okay. Grimshaw said that Loki fixed you. That he undid the spell or something and that you're going to be exhausted and tired and probably not going to be able to do much for a few days, but you're going to be okay." Oh good, Stephen thinks but even as he thinks that, he sees the seriousness in Tony's eyes lingering. 

He sees the worry and the concern in Tony's eyes and he feels his own eyes narrow as the panic that hadn't quite left him from the moment that he'd woken up, thrums against his chest and throat. 

_ Something. IS. WRONG. _

"Anthony, what aren't you telling me?" Stephen asks. He wishes that he can sit up. He wishes that Tony doesn't look away. But he does. He looks down at their joined hands and he takes in a deep breath and Stephen wants to be able to see into the man's eyes. 

He needs- 

Tony doesn't answer him. In lieu of that, Stephen tries to focus. He tries to reach into himself. To where the Connections sit. To where he should be able to- 

_ SOMETHING. IS. WRONG. _

Adrenaline rushes through him, the panic comes to full force and Stephen can't breathe. Something  _ is _ wrong. Something is very, very,  _ very _ wrong. 

It can't be. Right? 

Loki is a god. He is a Jotun. They have the physical and magical capabilities well above what humans are capable of. There is- There is no way that- 

His eyes widen and his voice can't hold back the panic as he looks at Tony and asks the question he is almost too afraid to ask.

"Where's Loki?" 

~~~ 


	17. What Have You Done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wait is the worst part. 
> 
> Time becomes an enemy that drains their hearts, strains their minds and their souls. 
> 
> But eventually, time passes and eventually, they get the relief they need. It's not enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
Okay... so I overslept a bit... 
> 
> AND I have to rush out to a PT session... so I am gonna keep this short. 
> 
> Please enjoy, please comment and do know that everything is goimg to be okay... eventually. 
> 
> And know that I love you all!

**Wednesday **

**1 June 2011 **

She doesn't know what to do. 

She doesn't have the right words, the right actions, the right  _ anything _ to be able to make this right. 

It's not her fault and no one is expecting her to make  _ anything _ right. But it feels like she should. It feels like she should be able to do  _ something _ . But she doesn't know what. 

So she does what she can. 

She works with Pepper, Clea and Darcy. There is still a lot of work to do and she's glad that she's used to it by now because it's easier now that it's a routine to do it almost mindlessly. 

They are all preoccupied and their thoughts are all haywire. All of them. 

Even with the victims of the New York Invasion gone from the Tower, there  are still follow ups to be done, there  are still resources to manage and to get to people and there's still liaising with various government bodies and other charities to do. 

The work is good. It keeps her occupied, no, it keeps them  _ all _ occupied. 

All except Stephen and Tony, nestled up in the Tower as they recover from the ordeal of Stephen's kidnapping and of course... Thor. 

Jane sighs and it's echoed by Darcy and by Clea. 

Pepper is in a meeting with the legal team and the PR team. Trying to figure out just how they were supposed to deal with the United Nations General Assembly and the delay that they need and how they were supposed to deal with the public over the same matter. 

Stephen's kidnapping isn't public knowledge. 

No. It's- The circumstances behind it  are  still a mystery to her and she honestly doesn't need to know. Not knowing doesn't hurt her and she is too afraid of the pain in the others' eyes to ask the questions that rise to her throat. 

Even Darcy doesn't ask. 

They both keep their heads down and work and try to support the others as they go through the aftermath of the ordeal and try to get themselves together. 

It's the least that they can do for all the help and support they have gotten. It is also the right thing to do. 

"Hey Jane, it's time." Darcy reminds her, not that she needs to. Jane nods as she looks at the clock and gets out of her chair. 

They have an office now. Well, not really. 

They are working from Pepper's gigantic CEO's office. It's what Pepper had wanted and since they were growing close and used to working together, it's what they have also wanted as well. 

Their tables are all set up in almost a semi circle that lets them keep the centre clear for any guests that needs to visit, though Pepper mostly speaks to other people in the many conference rooms throughout the building. 

As Jane gets up to leave the room, Darcy grabs and gives her a hug and a small, supportive smile as she had been doing. Jane can use all the strength that she can, so she takes it, thanks her for it and leaves. 

She sees a quiet smile and a nod from Clea as well even as the blonde talks quietly into the phone. 

There is so much going on at the Tower that Jane doesn't understand. Some of it is because it's business and politics and Jane has never had a head for either of those things. 

Others are because there are unspoken secrets. 

The relationship between Stephen and Tony had been one of those. One that had been shared with them and which had been a sign of great trust. But there are others. 

Secrets between Clea and Stephen that they keep  mostly to themselves that Thor, Pepper and Tony seems to know about. Secrets about Bruce's life before he became an Avenger and came to the Tower. Secrets between Thor and- 

Jane sighs again as she exits the office and looks down the corridor. 

There  have  been changes since Stephen's kidnapping to the Tower. The security has always been good, given who Tony was, that wasn't a surprise. Even when the building had been mostly empty, there had been security personnel. But now, there was more of them. 

They stood at both fire doors on either side of the corridors, visibly armed and alert. 

They aren't the stereotypical movie goon types that are silent and mean looking. They look more like the military types that smile, laugh, make jokes and in general are quite lovely, despite their seriousness and alert nature. 

Even now, as she makes her way to the elevator, the ones that are closest to her gives her smiles and nods. She smiles and nods back as she waits. 

She doesn't have to wait long. You never have to wait long for an elevator in the Stark Tower. Not when JARVIS has control over all of the elevators and he always  ensures  that she has a quick and smooth ride to where she wants and needs to go. 

The elevator doors slide open and she steps in. 

She doesn't even have to push the buttons. JARVIS knows where she wants to go and takes her there. 

There are more security guards up here in the residential buildings. She knows that there are guards in the Penthouse, on the roof, on the balcony, absolutely everywhere. 

Again, they smile and nod at her and she returns them as she approaches the door to Thor's apartment and takes a deep breath. 

She steels herself and pushes the door open. 

The doors aren't locked in the residential part of the building. Well no, they are. But they are locked by FRIDAY and she opens them to those that  are  allowed to gain entry at any time. And they all more or less have free reign of each other's apartments barring the Penthouse. 

Jane would normally thank the young AI for it, but she doesn't. Because though she knows it is in vain, she is hoping that Thor would be sleeping as she enters the apartment. 

She closes the door softly behind her and makes her way to the bedroom. 

Just like an hour ago, when she'd come to check on him, Thor is seated in the corner of the bedroom, his back against the opened door, his eyes looking around at the window and the  entryway  to the bedroom as she comes in. 

"Lady Jane." Thor says. His voice is soft and gentle and welcoming. There is warmth in that voice despite the situation and for that, she can only be grateful. 

As she had  done countless times throughout the last two days, Jane sits on the floor next to him and leans her head against his muscled arm and reaches for his hand. 

His hand is calloused and large against  hers  and warm. Despite the strength that she knows that they can possess, they are nothing but gentle with her as he holds her hand softly in his and raises it to his lips to kiss the back of it. 

"How is he?" Jane asks as she looks over to the bed. 

"Yet to awaken." Thor replies. 

This too has become a pattern now. Each time she comes, she asks how Loki is, though she can see for herself just how pale the God of Mischief is as he lays there, his chest rising and falling, the only sign of life. 

"You know that you should rest." She doesn't make it a question or even a demand. It's a soft suggestion and a reminder. That is all. Thor doesn't need someone to nag at him in a situation like this. 

What he needs is support and kindness and love. Thor nods. 

"Thank you for your  concern , Jane, but I cannot rest whilst my brother does not awaken." Thor says. She has heard that line far too many times now. But she nods and pulls their joined hands back towards her so that she too can kiss the back of his hand as he had kissed  hers . 

A soft smile forms on Thor's lips, though it is short lived as he turns his attention back to Loki's still form. 

Jane doesn't know everything that has taken place. 

All that she does know is what she has been able to gather from the others. 

When Loki had learned of the fact that Stephen had been taken, he had left the Tower. Through unknown means, by which Jane suspects they mean magical means, Loki had located Stephen and had gone to rescue him. On his own. 

Loki had managed to rescue and bring back Stephen, but both of them had been in a bad shape and from what she has been given to understand, Loki has healed Stephen to the point that it had almost killed him. 

In fact, from the way that Thor is now, she suspects that there is a chance that Loki still may yet- Which is- She doesn't want to think about that. 

Because how do you comfort a god, a being that has lived for a thousand years, facing the fear of losing a brother he has grown up and loved for those thousand years? 

Jane doesn't have the answer to that. 

So all she can do is be there, comfort him and cajole him into eating and possibly resting. It's what her friends had done for her when she had needed the comfort  and support . 

She just hopes that it's enough. 

But the question remains and echoes in her mind over and over and over again. Every time that she comes up to see Thor and to look at Loki's unconscious and pale face with her lover, she can't help but ask. 

Why? 

Why had Stephen been taken? Why had Loki been so invested in rescuing Stephen that he hadn't even taken the precautions to defend himself? Why has Loki almost sacrificed his life to save Stephen's? 

Why was Thor looking as if he was already grieving for Loki when he was still alive? 

All of them are questions that she cannot bear to ask when Thor looks so grim and Loki is still unconscious. She can hold back her curiosity. She can wait. And if she never gets the answers, that's fine too. As long as she can see some joy back in Thor's eyes. 

She lays her head upon his shoulder, holds his hand in her lap and together, they sit and wait for a moment that may or may not even come. 

And together, they pray. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**2 June 2011 **

"You need to go." 

Natasha Romanov raises an eyebrow as she hears that. Oh, she knows  _ why _ she is being told that. She just doesn't know why  _ she _ is being asked to go over to the Tower. 

"Do you really, really think that Tony Stark is going to welcome me with open arms and tell me everything that's going on behind closed doors?" She asks. Oh, it takes effort, but she manages to keep her tone from being too mocking and too defiant. 

It's a vain attempt. 

Both Fury and her know all too well where they both stand. They both know that they need each other and they both know that they aren't loyal to each other. The only difference is that her disloyalty is new. 

And yes, as professional as they may be and can be, it still did cause conflict and issues. That's just how humans work, spies or otherwise. 

"Yeah well, you have an in that no one else does." Fury says with a raised eyebrow. Natasha raises her own back. He looks pointedly at her neck, where under the stock standard black tight shirt she wears, the necklace Clea had given her sits. 

"Do I?" She asks back as they hold each other's eyes for a long moment before he sighs and sits down in his chair, throwing his weight back into it to settle comfortably on it as he raises his feet upon the table. 

"Look. We gotta know what is going on. Being blind here isn't only dangerous to  _ us _ but to them. You know that." Unfortunately, she does. 

Because as much as Fury and she hates to admit it, the World Security Council is powerful and they have to keep a close eye on them and work with them and around them as much as they have to work with and around Tony Stark and the Avengers. 

And as resentful as Natasha may be with Fury with some of his decisions and the way that he had treated both her and the others as well as Tony Stark, she also knows that he was doing what he thought was right and in his own twisted way, he  _ was _ trying to protect Tony Stark. 

Not because he cares, of course, but because Tony Stark is useful, even if Fury couldn't directly control him like a puppet as he wanted to. 

"Look. Whatever is happening, it's not  affecting  the situation with us. Not yet. For now, I would advise, wait for the press conference this afternoon and go from there. If it turns out that there's something big happening, I will go." She offers as a compromise. 

Fury frowns and she can see him considering it. She can see him thinking about refuting her just because, before he decides otherwise and nods curtly. 

"Fine. But if this all falls down around our ears and your precious crush gets hurt, it's on you. I want you to remember that." He tells her, his tone angry and loud as always. She  barely manages to not roll her eyes before she nods curtly and leaves his office. 

She's not surprised that Fury knows about Clea. That's just who Fury is and she isn't naive enough to think that their rooms are free from monitoring. She also knows that in a way, Fury fears her. He knows just how far she can go and just how dangerous she can be better than even Clint. 

Given that, he isn't about to use Clea against her. He knows better. But dangling Clea's safety in front of her? He can do that. And he will continue to do that, the fucking bastard. 

Natasha doesn't show anything on her face as she makes her way down the hall and across the way to where she knows Steve is training. 

SHIELD was trying to get him to use guns. 

He wasn't very interested in the idea, but oh boy, they were trying. It makes sense to her, as asinine as it is to ask the super soldier, who was infamously trying  _ not _ to take lives, to use guns, but it was their head that they were bashing against the walls. Not  hers . 

Besides, she's been doing plenty of her own bashing against that particular wall and she wants to wish them  all the luck in the world. 

"Alright Stevie, you ready to go?" Natasha asks as she enters the range the super  soldier  is learning to put together a sniper rifle. Steve looks distinctly pleased to see her. 

Despite their clashes, they were becoming friends and she hopes that eventually, Steve can live up to the legend and the potential he holds inside of him. 

"Yeah. Let's go." He says easily as he pushes the sniper rifle into the arms of the instructor and grabs his sunglasses and hat before he follows her out of the door. 

They step out of SHIELD headquarters together through the backdoor and slip into the crowded streets of New York as they studiously ignore the signs of the invasion that lingers. 

Steve has been doing as she had suggested and been helping out at the local building sites on his days off of training or missions. There hasn't been a lot of those. Either for him or for her. 

She focused on gathering the intelligence with Clint now that he was back from his break with his family and Steve went and handled the missions. 

But they were slowing down. The weapons that they can't trace now have gone so far deep underground that they knew  that the majority had been moved offshore and yet others would only resurface when they were being used against the people of the world. 

Not a good prospect by any means, but there was a limit to even what they could do. With Tony Stark's help, they could probably do more, but she also knew that things were happening at the Tower. 

They don't know  a lot . 

All they know is that the defence at the Tower has been ramped up. Visibly so. Which is alarming. They also know that SI has been in contact with the United Nations to request  a delay for the first General Assembly meeting that they'd been waiting to attend to be delayed. 

Nothing more and nothing less. 

Natasha is worried about Clea, but she hopes that the radio silence from the young woman means that she is doing alright. That's the best that she can hope for given what little that she knows. Soon, she will call to make sure that everything is alright and see if there is anything that she can do to help. 

But for today, she has different concerns. 

"Where are we going?" Steve asks when she doesn't lead the way towards the usual route back towards where they had left their bike's parked. 

"Somewhere you might feel like you can belong, even a little." She says as she leads him towards the VA club. 

She'd thought of it before. But she had hoped that Steve would be able to learn the lessons on his own. She had been wrong. She'd heard from Clint what had happened with Steve and Tony and she doesn't even want to think about how much of a set back that was going to be for any sort of team cohesion. 

Hence the back up plan. 

Natasha can only hope that if Steve won't listen to them because they aren't from the same time period and doesn't know the world that he had lived in, then perhaps the veterans that the World War II Veterans Club, can get through to him. 

They have lived through the 70 years that Steve has slept through. Perhaps they can pass on the wisdom of what they have learnt through living that life to him. And maybe, he will actually listen. 

She can only hope. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**2 June 2011 **

"Are you sure?" 

It's the fourth time that Tony is asking. It isn't that he is doubting Stephen's words or his conviction. It is just that- Stephen is so pale. Even his lips barely have any colour and he is still finding it difficult to sit up in bed let alone leave the bedroom and Tony isn't- 

Tony doesn't want- He doesn't want Stephen to hurt anymore. He can't stomach the idea of seeing Stephen in any pain or fear or anything. But Stephen just gives him a smile and nods. 

"Yes dear, I'm sure." The fond exasperated tone is undercut by the thinly veiled anxiety underneath. Tony doesn't point it out and Stephen doesn't acknowledge it. 

Neither of them can afford to. 

Stephen also doesn't point out that Tony is mother henning him. That he is being overprotective and excessively careful with even the most casual touch, as if he's afraid that Stephen will either fall apart and break or that he will not be real. 

Which... Tony is. 

It is irrational and stupid and Tony has dealt with the possibility of losing Stephen once already and the second time was apparently where he just couldn't handle it anymore. 

Stephen doesn't tell him and won't tell him, but they both know that Tony is paranoid and afraid. Stephen doesn't comment on the guards, or the fact that he can see the Iron Man suit folded up in the suitcase just outside of their bedroom or that Tony hasn't taken off the prehensile bracelets once. 

It's the leeway that they need to offer each other, knowing that it is what they need to keep themselves sane through this situation. Like Stephen doing what he does in the background for Tony. It's- It's- they really, really do need to talk about this all at some point. 

Fuck. 

If he had thought that he would have to become stronger, build a better suit and do better so that he can protect Stephen after he'd found out about Stephen being the Sorcerer Supreme? 

Now that need is only compounded. 

Tony hasn't left Stephen's side once. When Stephen sleeps, which he has been doing a great deal of, Tony works. He draws schematics, he plans and he orders the assembly lines to create the bits and pieces that he is thinking of adding to the new suits. 

With the way that all the tech has been integrated into the Tower, Tony doesn't have to leave Stephen's side to work and he is so grateful for that. No suits actually get assembled, but at least he feels like he is getting  _ something _ done. 

Tony is pretty sure that Stephen knows, but the sorcerer doesn't comment on it. He also knows that Stephen most likely knows that Tony is avoiding sleep because of the nightmares. 

It's- Tony doesn't know why and Stephen doesn't offer commentary or answers. Tony isn't sure if Stephen is capable of it at this point. When Tony isn't actively engaging Stephen in a conversation, the doctor is... distracted. 

Tony doesn't ask and Stephen doesn't say, but they both know why. 

Hence the request, he assumes. 

"Maybe we should-" Tony starts but Stephen gives him a firm shake of his head and looks at Tony with those beautiful grey blue eyes Tony had feared he would never see again. 

"Anthony, I- I need to see him." Stephen tells him and there is no lightness, there is no fond exasperation. Instead, there is a soft plea and all Tony can do is nod. 

"Yeah. Okay. Okay." Tony tells him and carefully helps Stephen out of the bed. Whether it is because of the blood loss or whatever it is that the magic things has done, Stephen has been tiring extremely quickly and hasn't been able to move about much. 

But it  has only  been three days and both Bruce and Grimshaw had made it clear that it will take time. Tony just- He just wants, no,  _ needs _ Stephen to be alright. 

"Anthony, can- can you keep your eyes on me?" Stephen asks and Tony frowns, but he nods as he kneels in front of Stephen as the sorcerer sits on the edge of the bed. He lays his hands softly on Stephen's cotton pants as he waits. 

He hears the soft whooshing sound that he remembers all too well. 

The sound that he had heard when Stephen had appeared impossibly at the Malibu mansion after Stane had taken out his Arc Reactor. 

The sound that he'd heard only in the distance since then. Tony doesn't turn around despite his curiosity. He keeps his eyes firmly on Stephen as he had requested. 

"You know that I am not afraid of your magic right?" Tony asks softly as he looks up at the Sorcerer Supreme. He means it too. The thing is, after having  seen what magic can do, like with Loki and controlling him and Barton and the kidnapping, Tony will admit, his view on magic might have been a little marred. But with Stephen at the helms? 

He has no problems with it. 

"Besides, I think it's kinda sexy." Tony tells him with that wicked smile that he knows Stephen likes on his lips and isn't too surprised to see the doctor smile softly as he leans down, though it's obvious it takes effort and kisses him softly. 

"Thank you. You don't know how much it means for me to hear you say that." Stephen tells him but his voice does. His voice holds that gratitude that Stephen so freely expresses to Tony and that affection and love that has Tony always wanting more. 

He wants to chase those lips and he wants to push Stephen down back onto the bed and keep him there and to worship every inch of that body but he knows better. Stephen is fragile right now and that kind of activity is not something they should be pursuing. 

Just as Tony's thoughts trail off, he feels a soft warmth caressing his neck and he jumps, startled by the touch. Just as he jumps up and backwards, the red cloak that he had seen before jumps too as he floats in the air and shakes the collars of the cloak as if it is shaking off it's surprise. 

"Is- Stephen, why is your blanket- what?! How?!" Tony all but sputters. He's see the familiar red shade, the almost patchwork nature of it before. In fact, he had woken up wrapped around in it just a few weeks ago, hadn't he? 

"Anthony, this is the Cloak of Levitation. It's a magical Artefact, if you will. It's... sentient and I believe, quite fond of you." Stephen says with a small smile and a careful look in his eyes. Tony looks, from the cloak, back to Stephen and back to the cloak for a moment before he nods slowly. 

Oh this is fucking ridiculous! This is seriously- what?! Tony thinks even as he reaches out a hand, no doubt with a ridiculous expression on his face, towards the cloak as if he is offering a handshake. He honestly isn't sure what he expects but as if copying him, it too reaches out. 

The soft velvety and impossibly warm corner of the thing wraps around his hand and firmly shakes it.

"Holy shit!" Tony can't help but exclaim as he darts forward, his caution and disbelief and indeed what they were supposed to be doing, momentarily forgotten as he pokes and prods at the Cloak. For a moment, he almost feels like a child again, filled with wonder. 

It floats in the air as if by magic, which, he supposes it is and as Tony pokes at it, trying to get a sense of it to try to understand how it works, the cloak moves forwards or backwards, as if it too is trying to get a read on him. 

"Okay, so is this like your Firebolt? " Tony asks as Stephen raises an eyebrow. The judgement is so clear, but so is the amusement, which tells Tony two things of importance. One, Stephen Strange knows Harry Potter to get the reference that quickly and two, it was good to see that genuine flash of warmth and amusement in his lover's eyes as the residual anxiety dissipates. 

Thank God. 

"Okay, then invisibility cloak? Can it make you invisible?" Tony asks as he pulls the edge of the cloak towards itself and it lets him, though he swears,  _ swears _ that the collars were judging him. 

"Anthony, sorcerer. I'm a sorcerer, not a wizard and no. The Cloak of Levitation, as the name suggests is a cloak that-" Stephen starts to say, the fond exasperation back in his voice as Tony laughs and strokes the cloak gently with his fingers. 

"Well nice to meet you Mr Cloak? Cloak? Levi? Anyway, I'm guessing Stephen's got you here so you can help him stay upright?" Tony asks of the Cloak. The lapels? Collars? Of the Cloak perk up as it bobs up and down. Tony takes that for a yes as he turns to look at Stephen. 

When he does, the look in Stephen's eyes has him almost frozen and unable to move. 

Tony has seen what love looks like in Stephen's eyes. He had seen it more than once. He had seen it whenever they make love, when they just sit and talk, when they work. But the sheer and utter affection, love and fondness that adorn those grey blue eyes right now is so beautiful that Tony can't help but just watch him. 

"I love you." Stephen tells him and Tony swears that his heart will never not skip a beat when he hears those words. He smiles and helps Stephen to stand up as the Cloak wraps itself around Stephen's shoulders. 

"Um... bit of an odd fashion choice, but who cares, we have gods in residence." Tony says lightly. It's- This isn't going to be easy for Stephen. Tony knows that. 

As much as this is his decision, to go to visit Loki and to see the state of the god for himself, it isn't going to be easy. In fact, Tony  isn't 100% sure of how he himself was going to be. He hasn't seen Loki since he'd- Nope. Still not going there. 

A bit of levity, a bit of lightness is what he can't help but try to bring to the situation. To make sure that Stephen is as relaxed as he can be. 

"Oh. Of course. Can you?" Stephen asks, though it's clear that the question isn't to Tony and just like that, The Cloak... shimmers,  for lack  of a better word and before Tony can comment, the Cloak goes from being well... a cloak, to a similarly coloured cardigan that drapes down to Stephen's knees. 

"Oh wow. Okay. Definitely not a cloak of invisibility then." Tony comments as Stephen smiles and moves forward. Tony can't tell whether the doctor is walking on his own or is mostly relying on the Cloak to carry his weight and support him. 

It doesn't matter. 

"And not a Nimbus either." Stephen tells him with that snarky tone Tony wishes he could hear more from the doctor as they head towards the elevator. 

Tony only hopes that this almost light and playful mood will continue. But he knows better than to believe that. In the elevator, Tony pulls Stephen into his arms and just holds him for a moment as he feels both the warmth of the Cloak and Stephen. 

As the elevator descends, as he had expected, the mood changes. A moment of reprieve is all they had gotten, but it was better than nothing. The tension and the anxiety is back, but Stephen's hand slips into his and though they tremble as always, they are warm and that's all that matters. 

It's time to see to Loki. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**2 June 2011 **

That sense of wrongness doesn't go away. 

Even as Stephen looks upon the unconscious visage of the God of Mischief as he lays there, it doesn't go away. 

There is something missing. 

Something  is wrong. 

But Stephen can't quite put his finger upon it still. It might be the exhaustion that he can feel deep inside his bones. 

It might be the anxiety that beats in his heart. It might even be the lack of magical energy that usually circulates around him. The drain from whatever it is that the blood magic that Nicodemus West and his ilk had performed is... 

It's unlike anything that Stephen had ever felt before. 

It's pervasive, it's lingering and it is constant. He can't even focus enough or indeed, stay awake long enough to pull properly from the dimensions and he isn't in the Sanctums, where the very foundations had been built to store magic. 

Clea and Grimshaw had both suggested that he return to the Sanctum to rest up and to heal, but he couldn't and he can't. Not when the anxiety and fear is so naked in Tony's eyes every waking moment that he sees the genius. 

Stephen doesn't need the Connection and  its constant reminder of the fear that Tony feels to see it and to know it. Stephen knows that Tony has nightmares. That their Connection, though they are in physical contact, is not enough to stop them. 

Either Tony's trauma as a result of the kidnapping was so severe that the Connection couldn't overcome it to give him the peaceful night of rest that he needs, or as Stephen suspects, that sense of wrongness was  affecting him too. 

Stephen wishes that he was strong enough, both magically and physically to be able to explore what was going on with that... wrongness. There is no other way of describing it. 

It's like that feeling you get when you've left the house and think that maybe you left the stove on. It's that feeling of seeing something move in the corner of your eyes only to realise that nothing was there. It's- 

If he could focus more, if he could actually feel the magic within him, Stephen may be able to figure it out. But as it is, even opening the portal back to the Sanctum to bring through the Cloak had been a difficult task. 

He has to admit that if it hadn't been for the Cloak and for Tony's supporting presence next to him, he might have fallen to his knees the very moment that he had entered the bedroom where the god sleeps. 

If... it is indeed sleep. 

It doesn't feel like it. It doesn't look like it and from the look in Thor's eyes and his very demeanour, it isn't. 

Thor greets them, but he does not say much else. Stephen wonders if the God of Thunder blames him for the state that his brother is in. If he does, then it is fair enough, Stephen thinks. The god doesn't say either way and his eyes don't give anything away. 

Tony helps him, supports him, as does the Cloak as he makes his way across the bedroom. All of the lighthearted jokes and Harry Potter references and Tony's genuine curiosity and wonder at seeing the Cloak and the warmth that Tony's acceptance of magic and by extension Stephen, evaporates. 

All that he is left with is the dread and that sense of wrongness that lingers through his mind. 

The stark contrast of the emotions that goes through him is harsh enough that he almost  feels whiplash . But he doesn't even- He can't dwell on that. 

There's a need. A desperate,  _ desperate _ need that demands to be answered and Stephen moves forward. The Cloak and Tony helping him to do so until he is standing next to the bed. 

For a moment, Stephen just looks down  at the unconscious visage of the God of Mischief. His face is pale as alabaster and that pallor makes the long black eyelashes seem all the longer and darker and the halo of black hair around Loki's head makes him all the paler. 

He is beautiful in the way that a Greek statue is beautiful. No matter what else Stephen feels and thinks, no matter what fears and anxieties linger, he has never been able to deny that and he never will. 

His hand trembles, no,  _ shakes _ as he reaches out towards the god. He isn't sure what he expects, but when he touches that soft, cold skin underneath his fingertips, that sense of wrongness? That sense of something not being right? 

All of that crashes down onto him and this time, not even the Cloak can keep him up as he does fall. 

He doesn't quite fall to his knees, since both the Cloak and Tony catches him, but he does fall and his knees can't keep him up. 

The horror of the situation hits him full force. 

Vaguely, he is aware of Tony helping him to slump on the bed, his hand still on Loki's all too cold face as with the other, he holds Tony's hand as tightly as he can. 

Oh dear Vishanti, Stephen thinks as all of the emotions hit him at once. Gratitude, anger, horror, sorrow. They fleet past him quick and fast. So fast in fact that he doesn't even have a moment to process any of them. 

But eventually, the emotions settle down to two.

Sorrow and horror. 

As Stephen leans down and moves his hand so that he can rest it upon the god's chest and feel the steady heartbeat and the breath that the god takes and releases, he can't help but let out almost a wounded sound. 

When Stephen does manage to speak, his voice filled with that deep sorrow and the horror that he can't keep out, his voice is barely audible. 

"Oh, Loki, what have you done?" 

~~~ 


	18. Not Enough Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone deals. It may be difficult and it is going to take time... but they deal. 
> 
> The incident is over and now, they deal with the aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!! 
> 
> Oversleeping just seems to be a thing I do... LOL 
> 
> So, I am running late again... this time for work (but like I can shower quickly and just rush out...) 
> 
> I am so sorry I've been a bit slow in the replying to comments thing... I've been writing a lot when I haven't been sleeping for 20+ hours XD 
> 
> On a good note, I did manage to get up to Chapter 23 and hopefully I can pump out 24 and 25 soon too! >__< 
> 
> I am so sorry for all the angst and the cliff hangers but the fluff is on the horizon so hang in there! *hands out angst blankets* 
> 
> Please comment and send me support and maybe some cafffeine. God I need caffeine.... *cough* 
> 
> <3

**Friday **

**3 June 2011 **

"If you're going to yell at me, just do it." Stephen says warily. 

"I'm thinking about it." Clea retorts back as she glares at him. He deserves a yelling. He deserves more than just yelling, she can't help but think. 

But with him laid out on the massive bed, his eyes hazy with pain and exhaustion, Clea can't quite bring herself to do it. 

Her heart still feels like it's clenched in a tight fist. There is so much of that fear and dread that still  lingers that it's difficult to breathe sometimes. 

Even when she can see him, alive and well in front of her, she can't quite bring herself to believe it. It's- God, he's so fragile. 

Ever since she'd found out that Stephen Strange was the Sorcerer Supreme and he had stopped hiding himself from her, she'd been able to feel him. 

Stephen's magic was all encompassing. 

A presence of  its own. A power that surrounds him and flows around him and is such a strong presence that she had never been able to  _ not _ feel it. 

But now?

It's like a shadow of itself. Even this close to him, all she can feel is just a faint presence of magic that feels like a gust of wind could blow it out and away. And with the knowledge and understanding that such magic is tied inherently to Stephen's life and his strength, she can't help but feel afraid and worried. 

"You  _ know _ you should be at the Sanctum." She tells him. Stephen knows. They both do. 

The Tower has had many a spell woven into it to protect it and to keep the occupants safe. It has had the spells that had been built into the Sanctums to shield it, strengthen it and to provide the sorcerers contained within, such as Stephen and herself, that foundation of power. 

But it's not the Sanctum. 

It has hasn't had centuries of spells woven into the very bricks itself. Stephen's magic can recover here as quickly.  _ He _ can't recover here as quickly. But they both  _ also _ know that Stephen won't go. 

Because this is where Tony is and this is where Loki is and this is where Tony feels safe. 

"I know." Stephen replies quietly. There is that soft, gentle and kind tone in his voice that speaks of the apology that he wants to give that they both know that she won't accept. 

She is angry at him. It's irrational and they both know it, but she  _ is _ angry at him. For not looking after himself. For not protecting himself and for almost dying right where she had to- Clea takes a deep breath. 

She is also angry with herself. For failing to be there. For failing to protect him. For not being able to prevent the horrors that had happened to Stephen. 

If there is one saving grace out of all of this, it was that Stephen had no memories of any of it. He had been unconscious throughout the whole ordeal and whilst his body has suffered and his magic has suffered, his mind hasn't. 

It is a small mercy. 

"I can't lose you Stephen. The Order can't lose you." Clea tells him empathetically. 

This isn't the first time she has said those words to him and she knows that it won't be the last. Because Stephen doesn't- He doesn't value himself enough. He doesn't understand just how important he is to her, to Tony, to the Order. 

Stephen always believes that his life is a price that is worth being paid and that other lives are more valuable and important. She doesn't know how to tell him that it isn't in a way that he will finally understand. 

"Come here Clea." Stephen says with a soft, comforting smile on his face. Even now, even when she  _ knows _ that he is in pain and that he is suffering, he is reaching out to comfort her and to be strong for her. 

He's an idiot. 

Still, Clea goes over to the bed and when he pulls her into his arms, she doesn't resist. She lets him hold her, stroke her hair and comfort her. 

Even as fragile he is, Stephen feels warm and this close to him, she can feel his heart beating. She can feel his slowly recovering magic starting to surround her. The knot inside of her eases somewhat. 

"Don't ever do that to me again. Okay?" She pleads with him. The tears that come can't be controlled. She doesn't even try. 

Soon, Grimshaw will join them. 

They have serious matters to discuss when it comes to Loki and what it is that the god has done. But for now, Clea takes the comfort that Stephen offers and reminds herself that he is okay. 

That he is alive and that she hasn't lost him. 

~~~

**Friday **

**3 June 2011 **

It is only early evening. 

The sun has just set and through the large floor to ceiling  windows that  surrounds Stark Tower, just enough light comes through from the streets to illuminate the room. 

Tony sits in the corner of the bedroom, his body settled into the comfortable lounge chair but his mind and his heart  are  anything but settled. 

Against the window, two screens are lit up, showing him the two things that he needs to see to try to keep some modicum of peace and quiet in his own mind. 

Stephen's vitals flash in one and in the other, the CCTV camera within the bedroom shows Stephen talking to Clea and Grimshaw. 

Even with Stephen's fond, exasperated permission, it feels like a breach of privacy to watch him like this. He doesn't keep the audio on, of course not, but it still feels wrong. Yet, this is the only way that Tony has been able to step away from the doctor's side without his heart feeling as if it is about to burst with anxiety. 

He is being ridiculous. 

Tony knows that. Stephen is safe within the Tower. The Tower itself is on lock down. There are security personnel everywhere. The AIs are keeping firm eyes on the doctor. Clea and Grimshaw are with him and Tony knows that they will keep him safe. 

But the anxiety remains. Low key, because Tony can see him, but it remains regardless. The fear that he'd felt when he saw that footage of Stephen being taken hasn't faded. It lingers insidiously at the back of his mind and it colours everything. 

If there had ever been a question in his mind about the importance of Stephen Strange in his life, it has been answered. The dread, the fear and that sensation as if the world would be ending for him, the feeling he got as he had taken that nuke through the portal has only been confirmed and compounded upon. 

Now, that fear is at the core of himself. The possibility  of  losing Stephen is no longer something that Tony can just accept and move on. It has become a fundamental fear that has replaced all of his other fears. 

For the longest time, Tony's fears had been simple. The fear of failure. Failure to meet the vague and impossible expectations of his father had continued even after the man's death. After Afghanistan, that fear had only grown with the fear that he would die without having made a difference. 

Tony wagers that slowly, that fear had been changing as he had began to fall in love with Stephen, as the doctor began to take a more and more important part of his life. He just hadn't realised just how... important that the doctor's place in his life had become until... 

Well, they do say you never know how important something is until you lose it right? Well. Tony hasn't lost Stephen. But he has come so close to it that he had reached that realisation nevertheless. 

And he has only the God of Mischief to thank for not losing Stephen. For being able to keep the doctor and his beautiful heart beating. 

With some difficulty, Tony manages to tear his eyes away from the screens and focuses them upon Loki, who lays still as the dead upon the bed he'd been laid on days ago now. 

Loki has shown no signs of awakening. 

He breathes, his heart beats, but Loki doesn't stir. He looks beautiful. His long black hair clean and combed, fanning out against the white pillows, his face pale and still. Even his usually dark red lips are pale and in the artificial lights that penetrate the darkness of the room, he looks ethereal. 

"Come on, Sleeping Beauty. What are you waiting for?" Tony mutters as he gets up off the chair and walks over to the god. Though over the weeks, he'd heard stories of Loki and Thor's adventures and the 'mischief' that has earned the God of Mischief his title, Tony will have to admit that he is yet to see any of that. 

All he has seen is the quiet pain in the god's eyes. The deep cloak of melancholy that he surrounds himself with, the occasional soft smile. Flashes of a brilliant mind that knows politics and manipulations during their discussions with the legal and the PR teams. That's it. 

He wonders what Loki would be like apart from all that. What Loki would be like if he were to smile genuinely. Or laugh. Tony can't help but think that he hasn't really met the God of Mischief yet as he looks down at the god's still visage. 

"I mean , if it's going to take a prince's kiss to wake you up, I'll get your brother to do it, I swear." Tony jokes, mostly to himself even as he wonders if his kiss will do it. 

He's heard enough about the Connection and what it is meant to do and he's seen how the kiss has worked with the god before. Perhaps it will work. But there's something- It feels like it would  be an act of violation . To kiss the unconscious god without his consent. 

Tony sighs. 

Medically, Grimshaw had assured them that there was nothing wrong with the god. A bit of physical exhaustion was about the extent of it. The horrible injuries the god has suffered  have been healed. But what remained was the more... magical stuff that Tony doesn't understand. 

Tony runs a dry hand down his face and sighs again. 

He is exhausted. It has been a hard week and the emotional and psychological bullshit compounded by the fact that he can't sleep for more than a few hours without nightmares makes everything fuzzy. Tony looks longingly at the bed on the other side of Loki before giving into the temptation. 

After all, when Stephen had been like this, Clea and the others had told him that it helped to have him physically close. Perhaps it will help Loki too, Tony thinks as he toes his shoes off and climbs into the bed next to the god. 

He hesitates for a moment before he sighs and pulls the god firmly into his arms and holds the slightly cool body in his arms. Tony isn't sure if it is his imagination, but it feels like the god's breathing eases. 

Thor will no doubt be surprised when he comes back, Tony can't help but think. This probably isn't what the god had in mind when he'd asked Tony to spend some time looking over the God of Mischief in his absence. 

But if it will help, Tony thinks, then it's the least that he can do. 

Tony will admit, he really, really,  _ really _ hadn't understood just what Loki had done. Or just how dangerous it had been for Stephen. He hadn't been able to appreciate just how much of a sacrifice that Loki had been willing to make when he had healed and kept Stephen alive. 

No. He had been too preoccupied with Stephen and seeing to him that he hadn't been able to. God, he really ought to have, shouldn't he? 

Stephen's kidnapping had been... like a wake up call. A reminder of just how dangerous their lives were. Tony realises just how ridiculous it is that having survived an alien invasion, it is realising that someone had taken Stephen and that he couldn't find him that had given him that realisation. 

But he can't- He can't quite regret it. The Iron Man suit, the changes to SI, meeting and falling in love with Stephen, learning about Loki and Stephen's identity as the Sorcerer Supreme of the Mystic Order. 

It's ridiculous. No, Tony Stark from  two years ago would have laughed at the mere idea of all of this shit in his life. But now? This is reality and his reality includes gods and magic and almost losing his... Soulmates. Which is- 

Well... fuck. 

Tony honestly doesn't know how Pepper and Rhodey had done it. They were far stronger than he was, clearly. It had been merely hours for him and he had been ready to fall apart and break. But for them, it had been months.

Tony looks back down at the sleeping visage of the god once again. 

It had taken Stephen waking up and his insistence at seeing the god and the horror in Stephen's eyes for Tony to really understand. The explanation from Stephen's lips of just what the god has done for him had been- 

Tony isn't sure how he is supposed to thank the god. There aren't enough words to express the gratitude that he feels and Tony sucks at expressing his emotions like that. It's a struggle even now with Stephen and though he tries, Tony knows he's not very good at it with his loved ones, even now. 

But he will. Tony will thank Loki. 

He will do whatever it takes to help Loki get back to where he used to be, to be even better than he used to be. He owes the god at least that much. 

The anger  and resentment that had been inside of him has all but faded. How can it not? 

Tony had heard Loki's oaths and he will admit, he hadn't believed them. But the more time that he'd spent with Loki, watching as the God of Mischief watches them longingly and carefully, he's come to understand just what they meant to the god. 

Still. 

Tony hadn't expected that the god would literally throw himself into the line of fire to fulfil that promise of being their sword and their shield. He hadn't thought that the god would be so reckless as to sacrifice everything for them. For Stephen. 

Especially after the way that Loki had berated him for his recklessness. But Loki hadn't held anything back. He had thrown everything that he was  into rescuing Stephen. 

The injuries that Loki had suffered spoke of the single minded way he'd gone about the rescue effort. He hadn't shielded or protected himself. Tony doesn't know what has been left behind the god as he has brought Stephen back, but he can imagine. 

It wouldn't have been pretty, Tony would wager. 

The mess, he knows, has been cleaned up by the Order. Clea had informed him as such and that there is no need to worry about it ever becoming public. It was an Order problem and they dealt with it. Tony isn't quite sure how he feels about that. For now, he is settled on gratitude. 

Tony sighs as he runs a hand through the god's hair. He has pulled Loki into his arms and rested the god's head on his shoulder. The faint light of the Arc Reactor lights up the god's still face and he looks so peaceful, though Tony doubts that peace is what the god is feeling. 

"You are an idiot too." Tony mutters to the god as he does give into the temptation and lays a soft kiss against the god's forehead. 

Soon, Thor will return from his interview. Tony is grateful for what the god and Jane had agreed to do. It's a difficult ask and he knows that he will have to thank the god later on. 

But for now, Tony holds Loki in his arms and turns his head so that he can watch Stephen as he talks with the others. Laying like this, with one Soulmate in his arms and his eyes upon another, Tony almost feels like he can do this. 

That it is going to be okay. He turns his eyes back to the god and caresses his back and his hair for long moments as the knots inside of his mind completely fade and with that in mind, Tony whispers words that he hopes he will be able to say again whilst looking into the impossible emerald eyes. 

"For what it's worth Loki, I forgive you." 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**3 June 2011 **

Gina Park  _ loves _ her job. 

On most days. Working for Tony Stark is a challenge that she knows that she'd struggle to get anywhere else. 

The man, for one, attracts media attention like it's his job. It doesn't matter what it is that he does, he attracts attention. Which is fine. Dealing with that attention and making sure that the right image gets out there in the world is her job. 

And for years, it had been an almost  constant  barrage of damage control and getting the right piece of PR to keep the image on the more positive than the negative side whilst carefully cultivating Tony's public image. 

Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. 

A man with the rich and famous lifestyle with his pictures in the right places and successful in the way that not many in the world can accomplish. 

A man that knows how to enjoy life, to party and live it up to the stereotype that is expected of him, especially given his youth. But one that never strays into being a predator. 

A man that uses that wealth, reputation and fame in order to do the good work that he can. 

Tony Stark has an instinctive understanding of media, public attention and fame that honestly makes him a dream client to work with. 

Tony's carefully manicured public persona means that the public and the media find him fascinating in every which way. He is just narcissistic and arrogant enough to fit the expectation of his success and wealth, but charming enough to seem admirable and fallible enough to be relatable. 

Never sweeping his more less savoury incidents under the rug means that the media has a trust in Tony Stark that is almost unusual. 

That was before Iron Man. 

Since Iron Man, Tony's image has changed. Slowly, but surely, he has began to be respected and admired by both the media and the public and that has helped them a lot with this newest fiasco. 

Gina will admit that as far as Tony is concerned, she really doesn't have a great deal of work. With  _ him _ at least. It is more handling what happens in the background and making sure that she handles the media and their clamouring questions so that he doesn't have to. 

But with the others? With the press conferences, with Dr Banner, Thor, Loki and now Jane? Oh, that is all on her and her team. 

And it isn't easy. 

Getting people that  aren’t used to dealing with the media used to it? Teaching them what to say, what not to say, how to look, how to approach all of that? 

That's difficult. 

Luckily for her, Thor and Loki at the very least are used to being in the public's eye. They know how they are perceived and how to use that perception to their advantages. Even Dr Banner and Dr Strange,  are mildly experienced in the media,  and aren’t very difficult to work with. And well , Pepper, she’s like Tony. 

Jane on the other hand... 

It's not that Jane isn't willing to listen or difficult. She is more... nervous than anything else. Gina sympathises, she really does. When you aren't used to getting the full attention of the media and the world at large, all of sudden being thrust into the spotlight can be difficult. 

For some people, that've always wanted that attention, it might feel fantastic and they might become reckless and be hungry for the fame. For someone like Jane, who never has wanted such attention for herself, but only for her work? 

It's difficult. 

"How's she  doing ?" Darcy asks, seemingly as nervous as her friend is. Gina nods quietly as she keeps her eyes firmly on the live broadcast. 

“Good." Gina says and she does mean that. 

Jane was nervous as hell. That was obvious, but Thor was keeping her just calm enough and the interviewer Gina had picked, had been picked for a reason. Maria Cortez is friendly. She handles Jane well, smiling warmly and keeps her calm enough to make sure that she can actually answer questions. 

The questions themselves have been vetted and pre-prepared and they had run through the questions and answers enough that Jane knows what to say. 

"You think so?" Darcy asks, seemingly torn between feeling nervous for her friend and being proud of her. Gina nods. 

"The public is going to love her. This whole thing is coming across like a fairy tale romance. A god falling from the skies, meeting her, falling in love with her and it changing absolutely everything about him. It's cliched and it's ridiculous but it's romantic and very in right now." Gina says as Darcy rolls her eyes. 

"They're gonna come up with a name for them aren't they?" Darcy says as Gina smiles. She would laugh and she wants to, but she also needs to be able to hear every word. 

Her team is also watching, live on set, but Gina had wanted to see how it would come across on the screen, so she had her earpiece ready just in case, but was in the green room with Darcy. 

"Most definitely. Girl next door but brilliant and intelligent. She can be every girl but she is special and unique enough for Thor to fall in love with. Every woman is going to see themselves in her shoes. But she's nice and sweet enough that they most likely won't hate her." Gina analyses quietly between the breaks in the conversation. 

Darcy nods. 

"Whilst they  daydream and fantasise about being Jane and wait for their own gods, you mean." Darcy snorts. Gina nods as she keeps her eyes firmly on Jane as the interviewer asks the question they'd all been worried about. 

"Dr Foster, Prince Thor, I'm not going to dance about the issue here. Why the announcement now? There are rumours that this announcement is a way to hoodwink the media and to stop us from asking questions about why the General Assembly meeting has been delayed." The interviewer says. Gina narrows her eyes. 

That  _ isn't _ what they had agreed on but they  _ had _ been prepared for the question. Though in their script, it hadn't been this aggressive. Though the interviewer had addressed both, she clearly expects Thor to answer the question, but he doesn't. Jane does. 

"Because I decided that it was the right time." Jane says quietly but firmly, her eyes directly on the interviewer. This is the moment, Gina thinks. This is the moment when Jane is either going to win the respect of the media and the public or lose it. 

"Oh, so the decision was yours?" The interviewer's tone belies the true surprise as she whips her eyes to Jane from Thor as the scientist nods. 

"Yes. It's- hm. Thor is... an Avenger and an Asgardian. My relationship with him, I knew, would eventually be known to the world and that I would have to deal with the media. But with no understanding of what that means and no experience with all of this, I was a bit... terrified, to be honest. Actually, I'm still incredibly nervous." Jane says with a small nervous laugh. 

Thor looks at her with a warm supportive smile as he gently folds his other hand on top of the one that already holds Jane's, offering her the quiet support. She turns to give him a quick smile, but it lingers as she catches herself, blushes and continues. 

Brilliant. 

That little exchange alone was going to make it impossible for idiots to contend that the relationship itself was manufactured for the sake of one agenda or another, at the very least. 

"So, I wasn't ready. Tony and Pepper told me that if I didn't want this to be public, if I wanted to keep myself out of the public's eyes, that they will help. They will do everything they can to protect me but I'm kind of not good at hiding things and I don't believe in running away from problems." Jane says. 

Her voice has just the right amount of anxiety and nervousness along with the conviction that makes her seem strong and independent. Gina bites the end of her pen.

"And I love Thor. I won't say that I loved him from the moment I met him, because at the time I did think he was some crazy homeless dude-" Thor's laugh interrupts her and it's such a warm and charming laugh that even Gina can't help but smile a little as Jane blushes. 

"Sorry, but you were kind of, you know?" Jane says as Thor smiles widely, holding back the laugh and nods. 

"I am aware, dearest Jane. I was an arrogant fool. But you were kind and you rescued me from my own folly." Thor says, the fondness and love he feels for her clear even amongst the amusement. 

"Well, it turned out you weren't crazy. The universe was. So there is that. But the point is, I don't want to hide it. I don't want to hide us. It just took a bit of courage and bravery on my part to agree to an interview." Jane says with a small smile to the interviewer. 

Maria Cortez blinks and gathers herself and smiles back as she nods. 

"Of course, it must have been a difficult decision." She says, hastily retracting the harsh tone she'd used to ask the question in the first place. As she considers how to bring the question back, Jane takes the reigns. 

"As for the delay of our meeting with the United Nations, that's more complex issue." Jane says to start off with and the attention is firmly on her from the interviewer and from the viewers, no doubt as the camera focuses on Jane. 

Gina has to admit, she is  _ impressed _ by the way that Jane handled the question and the heat, one would say in the PR world. 

Especially as she quietly but firmly goes through the various difficulties they were experiencing to try to work out the differences between Earth politics and Asgardian politics, the power imbalance inherent in the negotiations and more importantly, the issue of wanting to ensure that both sides are fully prepared. 

As Jane finishes up, Gina breathes a sigh of relief. 

The announcement hadn't been timed to give themselves a distraction. No. It had been timed to give them a chance to add to the narrative the realities of difference that is between Asgard and Earth. 

For the public that may not be interested in the press releases and conferences about politics, to understand that there are cultural differences and the need to respect them and to have a fair and balanced negotiation and conversation about the future of the planet. 

"Well, Dr Foster, Prince Thor, I hope that the negotiations and the future for an alliance between Asgard and Earth will be as harmonious and mutually respectful as your relationship is." Maria Cortez says as she draws the interview to a close. 

Gina couldn't agree more as she stands up with Darcy and they both sigh with relief. 

"She fucking killed it." Darcy says with admiration clear in her voice and Gina can finally let out a laugh of relief as she nods firmly. 

"God yes. Now, let's get our newest celebrity couple and go home. I need a drink." Gina says as Darcy smiles and nods in firm agreement.

"Make it a double and I'm in." Darcy says easily. 

Tomorrow, the headlines were going to be a celebration of romance and love and interplanetary relationships. Social Media was already blowing up and by the time that it all blows over, Gina hopes that Maria Cortez is right. 

That somehow, there will be a harmonious and respectful relationship between the two realms. 

Gina hadn't known that when she'd signed up to work with Tony Stark that she would be signing up to help shape the future of the planet, but that was the luck of the draw. 

And she couldn't be more proud. 

~~~ 

**Sunday**

**5 June 2011 **

The darkness fades. 

His limbs are heavy and the emptiness inside of him is so heavy and gnawing that Loki doesn't even get a second, a moment, to deny what it is that he has done, what it is that he has sacrificed. 

But he does have a moment to be surprised. 

Both at the fact that he  _ does _ awaken and that he is surrounded by warmth. Loki does not stir, he does not allow his breathing to change, but he does feel his heart skip a beat as he gauges his current situation. 

Warm arms are encircled around him. 

Over his stomach and chest and there is a hand softly stroking his hair as a hand holds his. He feels warm. Comfortable. 

_ Safe.  _

He almost feels tears gathering in his eyes. It has been so, so long since he had felt that. Felt well and truly...  _ safe _ . Despite the emptiness inside of him, it feels- It feels perfect. Amazing. Everything that he'd ever wanted.

Loki's eyes flutter, not quite being able to open and stay open initially. But he struggles and they do eventually open and he is surprised to find a pair of warm caramel brown eyes looking down upon him. 

"Finally." Tony's voice isn't dry and snarky as he normally is. Instead, all that Loki can decipher amongst the complex tones contained in that simple word is relief. 

"You gave us quite a scare, Rudolph." Loki wonders if such nicknames were a sign of friendship or disdain when it came to the man. It is difficult to tell. As far as he had seen and heard, Tony rarely called Stephen any such names. 

Those innate thoughts are easier than the emptiness that screams for attention to ponder upon. 

There is a gaping void inside of him and Loki isn't- He takes a deep breath and focuses on Tony's beautiful eyes, the warmth and relief that he can see there. 

The fingers running through his hair belongs to the genius, as does the arm across his chest. Tony is sitting up a little on the bed, looking down at Loki. 

Which must mean that- Loki looks down, though it is difficult to tear his eyes away from Tony's. 

He isn't surprised to see the mop of brown hair on his chest. The second arm around him and the hand holding his are Stephen's then, Loki thinks as he blinks. 

"I-" Loki starts to say but his throat is dry. More importantly, he isn't sure what it is that he really even wants to say. 

He can feel Stephen's warm breath against his chest even through the thin linen shirt he wears and the hold is just tight enough that he can almost feel Stephen's heartbeat against his chest and he can feel Stephen's chest expanding with each breath. 

It's- he can't remember the last time he'd been held like this. Even at the Sanctum, when he'd been so overwhelmed by- no. Loki can't think about the Sanctum. The m- no. 

He can't. 

Loki closes his eyes for a moment and takes in a deep breath  and releases it as he turns his head to look up again at Tony, who, by the looks of it, had been waiting for him to do just that. 

"Thank you." It's just two words that Tony utters but the gratitude contained in it is incredible. They are hard,  heartfelt words that echo inside of Loki. Loki can't quite manage a smile but he does manage a shake of the head. 

"I merely did my-" Duty, Loki tries to say. Tony shakes his head firmly and sits up more. His hand leaves Loki's hair but they do remain upon his chest, a hand over Loki's heart, warm and firm. 

"No. You brought him back. I couldn't even find him Loki. But you did and you brought him back. Then you- You risked your life, you sacrificed  _ everything _ to keep him alive. I don't- There  aren't words to tell you how grateful I am for that." Tony's eyes are filled with emotions. 

There is that lingering fear and dread that he no doubt feels. There is gratitude and admiration and warmth. But the one thing that Loki narrows upon, the one thing that he wanted more than anything else is also there in those caramel brown eyes. 

Forgiveness. 

Loki blinks as he sees that. He had hoped, but he had believed that he would earn such a forgiveness through not bringing Stephen back or saving his life but by sacrificing his for Stephen's. He had failed in that. Yet, there it is. 

Perhaps he is seeing things, Loki thinks. Perhaps he wants to so badly, he needs that forgiveness and atonement and repentance so much that- 

"I didn't know. Until Stephen woke up and until he told me what you did, I didn't even know just how far you were willing to go for him. For us. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry. And- And I forgive you." Tony says. 

It's clear that the words are difficult for him to say. That making himself this vulnerable to Loki and revealing everything that he is feeling and thinking is a difficult task for the man. 

Tony Stark has always been easier than Stephen Strange for Loki to read and to understand. Tony was like him. A man born into a position of power, that was used to wielding that power and that was used to hiding himself behind masks. 

Even to his own family and friends no doubt. 

But Stephen had broken through those masks. Stephen had seen through them and in doing so, in the two of them falling so deeply in love with each other, the shields and masks that Tony Stark had built around himself have began to crumble, to break away. 

It made the genius uncomfortable. It made him feel vulnerable and defensive. But even as it did so, there was a desire within Tony to let it all go, Loki thinks. Just as he has always wished that he could. That  he only  ever did , in front of Hel. 

It is impossible to hold up masks, even with his own child, when she is the Goddess of all Souls and could see into his very being and see the lies. 

It must have been the same for Tony when he realised that Stephen could feel what he feels, Loki supposes. He takes a deep breath and he does manage a small smile. 

"There is no need to thank me, beloved. I merely did my duty." Loki says and he is so glad that  _ he _ can hold up that mask. That with Stephen fast asleep, at least  _ he _ can hide the pain that he feels by the void inside of him. 

"It's not- Don't think like that  Lokester . You don't owe us anything. Not- Not then and not now. I- I'm sorry that I didn't understand." Tony says and his words ring true and Loki is grateful for them, but for the time being, he cannot process that. 

He cannot believe that. 

"No. The fault for being unable to control myself remains my sin. A burden that I will bear till my last breath. A reminder that I cannot ever harm either of you again. I swear it." Loki says as strongly as he can as they keep their voices low, lest they disturb Stephen. 

"Loki, it's- I'm not going to say it's okay, because it isn't. But… you’re not the only one to have sins against Stephen.” Tony says quietly. Loki can’t help but raise his  eyebrows . He recalls the conversation he’d shared with Clea Strange in the Sanctum shortly after the invasion. 

She had asked if he too had hurt Stephen. He hadn’t been in the right mindframe to ponder that at the time and he had all but forgotten it. She had also refused to elaborate. He wonders if Tony will. The genius does.

Tony's eyes are far away, looking at Stephen with guilt and pain in his eyes as he speaks.

“Let’s just say that when I first found out that Stephen wasn’t- had abilities that couldn’t be explained by science, I- I didn’t react well. I didn’t know about the Connection. Or the magic. Or whatever it is that lets Stephen see the other universes or something.” Tony says with a heavy sigh. 

Loki can only imagine how difficult it would have been for both Tony and Stephen with the secrets between them. To learn to trust and to love when there are things that cannot be spoken of.

“I didn’t understand what Stephen had to do to himself to make sure that he couldn’t tell me the things that might break this universe. So I- I hurt him. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally.” Tony’s self hatred is obvious. It is one that they share. Loki can’t help but look at the man with the surprise that he cannot hide. 

Tony’s smile is self deprecating as he looks at Loki. 

“I know. I was a fucking idiot. We- We took a break. After that, I- ha! I didn’t fucking even know that I was in love with him. So I did what I normally do. I fucked it up. I asked Stephen for purely a sexual relationship and of course, he said yes. Because he’s- He’s too-” Tony can’t continue. 

“He loves you.” Loki can’t help but say. There is no jealousy in that voice, luckily. Just… a wistful admiration. Tony nods slowly, his eyes firmly on Stephen’s sleeping visage as he continues. 

“I didn’t even know I was hurting him. Because I didn’t believe that he loved me. He told me, but I didn’t believe it because people don’t- they don’t ever really love me. They just want what I have. At least, that was the case before Stephen.” Oh. Loki can’t help but feel his heart break as he hears the hollow tone in Tony’s voice. 

But he understands. 

As he had thought, Tony and he were more alike than they were different. Just as Loki had lived a life of privilege without real connections and friendships, Tony had lived a life of being valued for his intelligence and his wealth more than for himself. 

It also explains the man’s recklessness. He does not value himself. Perhaps he does at least value himself a little more than Loki values himself, but as far as Tony Stark was concerned, he was not worth all the love and affection and protection that Stephen offers. He does not believe himself to be worthy of Stephen. 

No wonder Clea had warned him not to disturb this relationship, Loki thinks. 

It must have taken a trial and a half for them to reach the point of accord as they have it now. A point where they understand, love and respect each other. Where Tony has begun to value himself, to trust in Stephen and in his love. 

“So I hurt him. I was so busy taking what I wanted from him that I almost broke him. You know what? Even after that night, that first night you met Stephen and you- you hurt him, I hurt him too.” Tony says with a humourless laugh in his voice. Loki cannot help but raise an eyebrow at that. 

He had seen them. Just the day after that through the All-Seeing Throne. Making love. How had- 

“It was my birthday. We’d just dealt with a terrorist idiot that tried to kill me. Stephen- despite how he was feeling and what he’d gone through tried to make it good for me and it was good. I didn’t even think about why he’d keep the sweater on all day. Even when it was warm.” The bitterness in Tony’s voice brings bitterness to his own mouth as Loki can’t help but think back to what he’d done in the clearing. 

He hadn’t even held back on his strength. He had held Stephen down using his full Jotun strength and- 

“I was fucking him from behind. It’s only then that I saw the mark that you left on him. I was- I was livid. I didn’t even think about the possibility that he didn’t want it. That it’d be-” Tony stops. He sighs and he looks at Loki and he speaks before Loki could sink into the guilt and regret that he feels. 

“Look. The point is, you’re not the only one to have hurt him and I’m sorry that I haven’t even tried to think about things from your perspective. I was- I was too angry to do that." Tony tells him and the genius's eyes meet his and there is clear regret contained in them. Along with the gratitude.

This conversation is not easy for Tony. Loki can see that. It was taking serious effort on Tony's behalf to let Loki see behind the mask. To reveal himself to Loki. The appreciation he feels and the honour that he feels is one Loki isn't sure how he could convey.

"I also want you to know that I’ll do whatever it is that you and Stephen need me to do to make this easier and better for the two of you.” Tony tells him and it’s clear enough in his voice that he means every word that he is saying. 

Loki also can’t help but feel perhaps just a sliver of hope that perhaps one day, Stephen too can forgive him. That perhaps the scars upon his mind and his heart will heal and one day, Loki will be able to reach out and touch Stephen without causing him fear. 

Loki sighs as he nods slowly. There is a part of him that rails against needing help. But he is- After so long without the warmth of touch and without the warmth of his Soulmates and the vast emptiness that had been inside of him even before this void has taken it's root, Loki cannot turn away the warm hand extended towards him. 

"Thank you." Loki says quietly as he lays a hand over the one that Tony has laid over his heart. The genius's hand is warm to touch and there is a thin thrill and joy that goes through him at the mere fact that he  _ can _ reach out and touch, despite the void. 

There are no more words after that as Tony settles back down into the bed and he curls himself around Loki. The hand that had been holding Loki's moves so that Tony can stroke Stephen's hair. 

Loki doesn't mind. 

Surrounded like this between his Soulmates, it almost feels okay. The void almost feels but not  _ quite _ feels bearable. 

Sorrow and pain fills him as the silence settles and his Soulmates settle. The realities of what he has lost has not fully made itself apparent to him and he doubts that it will tonight. 

But sometime soon, it will. 

And when it does, Loki knows that he will break. That he will shatter. But for now, surrounded by his Soulmates and by the ones that he has given up the very essence of his being for, Loki almost feels complete. 

_ Almost _ . 

~~~ 


	19. Never Ever Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An event like what they have experienced leaves marks. 
> 
> It leaves scars left behind to deal with and that? Well that is going to take time. 
> 
> Maybe even a lot of time. But there is just enough love and support to get them all through it. Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys! 
> 
> A bit early because I realised that I have stayed up too late cause of my nap earlier and now as a result, I'm probably not gonna have time to post in the morning. So figured I will post when I am still awake. 
> 
> Please do enjoy the chapter and do remember that it will take some time for the fluffiness to well and truly hit and bite and do all the wonderful things. Just don't forget happy endings! 
> 
> Oh and thank you for the lovely comments and I am sending you all internet hugs for surviving the cliff hangers nightmare that the last several chapters have been. Thank you for the supportive messages despite the pain I've been causing you guys and I really do apologise for them. 
> 
> Also, please do comment etc because as always, my soul needs the feeding!!! 
> 
> <3

**Monday**

**6 June 2011 **

It's an ungodly hour of the morning. 

But instead of being in his bed like a sensible person, he is left staring at the screen in his dark office trying to get his exhausted brain into gear. 

Alexander Winters has been serving as the Head of Legal Department for a little over five years. 

His tenure in the position hasn't exactly been a smooth one. What with Obadiah Stane and the scandal that  his  betrayal of Stark Industries has caused and the whole Iron Man debacle and now the New York Invasion, he has been busy. 

But the work is interesting and fulfilling and challenging and Alexander can't hope for a better place of employment. 

It also means that by now, he is well and truly used to the disasters that strike Stark Industries every now and then. 

Whether that be  lawsuits ,  counterclaims to one of their patents, Tony's escapades resulting in Senate  Inquiries  or in this case- God. 

The email blinks at him. The red exclamation mark against it tells him that it is important. Not that he needs that little mark to tell him just how important and just how difficult the situation is going to be if the contents are indeed true. 

Any other time, Alexander would have taken the email straight up to Pepper Potts  and Tony Stark and spoken to them about it, regardless of the  time of day . 

But right now, he's not sure if that is the best course of action. 

Something is wrong  at Stark Tower. There is an oppressive amount of tension and anxiety that fills the hallways and though Alexander doesn't know exactly what it is that has taken place, he knows enough to know that something  bad  has happened. 

For one, the activities that Tony, Loki and Thor had been involved in to try to help out the city of New York has come to a stand still. The media release that Pepper and Gina released stated that it was so that they can concentrate on preparing for the General Assembly, but that wasn't true. 

In fact, there has been a delay in the General Assembly meeting and more than that, there has been no work being done on that matter from the three of them. In fact, all of the planning has fallen squarely on Alexander, Gina and Pepper's shoulders with no explanation as to why. 

Not that Alexander needed an explanation. 

He knows better than most what discretion means and he knows better than most just how important that discretion is. So he hasn't asked questions. 

But ever since a week ago, when Clea Strange had half collapsed and then there had been a panic and flurry of action, everything at the Tower has changed. 

There were extra security all throughout the Tower and the  Tower itself  was on lock down. That in addition to the tension that is in Pepper's eyes and the scarcity of Tony, Alexander gets the distinct feeling that something very big and very bad has happened. 

Which brings him back to the email and the decision that he needs to make. 

They still have time. Not a lot of time, but a little bit of time. Enough for Alexander to at least verify the veracity of the report and depending on the results of that, he can make his decision, he thinks. 

He hopes that he isn't making a grave mistake but there is value in plausible deniability and right now, that was the best tool Alexander could place in Pepper and Tony's hands. 

With that in mind, Alexander picks up the phone and dials a number that is all too familiar to him by half. As always, it is answered quickly, despite the ridiculous hour. 

"Gina? We have a problem." 

~~~ 

**Monday **

**6 June 2011 **

He can feel the eyes watching him.

They are careful. They are furtive, but Stephen knows that he is being watched. From those eyes and from the Connection and the Bond that binds them and their Souls, Stephen feels the warmth and love tinged with anxiety and fear. 

Stephen knows that he needs only to look over, to turn around and he would be able to see Tony, watching him. His caramel brown eyes filled with love, wonder and the fear of loss. 

But even that fear, even that anxiety that should feel painful and difficult, feels warm and loving. That is how the Bond interprets those emotions. Tony's pain and anguish is as a result of Stephen, they are  _ for _ Stephen and the Bond soaks it all up and lets Stephen feel it all as love. 

It is insanity, but that is how the Connection and the Bond works and for now, it is what Stephen needs. 

He feels- He feels wrong. 

There is that perpetual weakness that weighs heavily upon his limbs. Which is- given the blood loss? That's understandable. Given the fact that he'd been all but completely drained of his magic? That is also understandable. 

But there is something else. 

Something that Stephen can't put his finger on that feels... wrong. 

It isn't just that he can't feel Loki anymore. What had once been a constant presence in his mind is nothing but a shadow. Instead of the pulsating magic and the full presence, all Stephen now gets from Loki is pain and sorrow. 

_ Overwhelming _ pain and sorrow that threatens to drown Stephen and sweep him away into the dark corners of his mind and never let go. Stephen clings onto Tony and their Connection to keep himself afloat from it all. 

But it feels wrong. 

Loki's pain, his sorrow, the emptiness that claws at him and has broken him and continues to break him is due to Stephen. It is for Stephen that Loki has made those sacrifices and it feels wrong for Stephen not to share that pain. 

But he can't. 

When he tries, it overwhelms him and he can't breathe. He feels himself breaking and he can't afford to do that. Not now. Not when Tony is so anxious and fearful and when Loki is so broken. 

He needs to be strong to hold them all together. To keep their souls from shattering amongst all the pain that plagues all of them. But he's not sure if he is strong enough. 

If he had been more careful, if he had been more focused and if he had- Stephen takes a deep breath. There are so many regrets. So many mistakes made that he hadn't even thought of, considered. He ought to have but- 

No, Stephen reminds himself. Don't go there. Don't think like that. Because there is no changing the past. There is only the future and Stephen needs to focus on that. He cannot change the past. 

Not even with the Time Stone. Especially not with the Time Stone.

There has to be something that he can do. There has to be  _ something _ he must be doing to help. To fix his mistakes. To undo the impossible thing that Loki has done. 

Despite Loki's oath and despite knowing just how... insidious the Bond and the Connection can be, Stephen hadn't believed that Loki would make such a sacrifice. 

His essence. His magic. His Seidr. 

Loki had let it all go. He had sacrificed himself, no doubt with the full knowledge that he may not survive such a thing, Loki  had  used everything that he was to keep Stephen alive. 

Despite knowing it, having seen it, Stephen can't- He can't quite believe it. 

The gratitude that he feels and the desperate guilt that he feels for having forced Loki's hand is- 

Already, the sorcerers at the Mystic Order were working on  the possibility of returning the magic back to Loki. But with the god having  been  born with his gifts and his magic being fundamentally different to their own, they aren't sure whether or not Loki  _ can _ use their form of magic or not. 

As it is, the god isn't well enough for them to experiment with that yet. 

The worst- The absolute worst of it all is that despite the fact that Loki has made such sacrifices, despite the fact that Loki has risked everything to rescue him and bring him back home, Stephen is  _ still _ afraid of him. 

He has not yet even had the chance to thank the god. To speak to him. To apologise and to say the words of gratitude that he feels. 

No. 

Each time that Stephen had been there with Loki, he has been asleep. Or Stephen had been asleep. 

And even if there was a chance to speak, Stephen isn't sure how he would handle the situation. It's- Stephen sighs.

The only thing that Stephen can do for Loki is to... simply be there for Loki and he can't even do that properly. 

Loki may be healed physically but his soul was in... agony. Stephen doesn't need Thor and his ability to see souls to know that. He can  _ feel _ it. 

Loki's Soul is fractured and falling apart and he  _ needs _ Tony and Stephen there to hold his soul together through the Connections that they share. 

It's- Every moment that Loki is awake, Stephen feels the pain. It doesn't matter what he does. It doesn't matter if he shields himself, if he focuses on Tony. It doesn't matter. Loki's existence is agony itself and Stephen doesn't know what to do. 

It isn't only Loki either. 

Stephen can feel it himself. His own soul, his own mind is fragile and fractured and inches away from falling apart. The same can be said of Tony. 

Tony can't sleep without nightmares. 

Even the proximity to Stephen isn't enough for Tony to feel whole and to feel safe. There is a fundamental fear that has been etched into the inventor's soul and that too is Stephen's sin to carry.

Stephen isn't sure what it is that has changed. Whether it is as simple as  the  depth of the trauma that lingers on Tony or whether it is because they are a Triumvirate and without all three of them being physically close and Connected, their souls can't be settled. 

Or whether it is the fact that Loki has lost such a fundamental part of himself and as such, so broken that  affects  them. It doesn't matter what it is. 

This ordeal, his mistake has broken all three of them and Stephen doesn't know how to fix them. All he can do is hope and pray that  with  the physical contact, their Connections and Bonds will be enough to heal their souls and to make them all whole again. 

Why is it all so difficult? 

It never easy with them, is it? Stephen can't help but think as Tony looks over at him worryingly as they ready themselves for bed. 

Downstairs, Loki is already fast asleep in the bedroom that Thor has given up for his brother. In a few moments, Tony and Stephen will make their way downstairs and quietly, they will slip into the god's bed and hold his cool body in their arms and offer him the comfort that he would try his utmost to refuse were he to be awake. 

In the morning, they will waken, refreshed, even as Stephen fights back the fears that linger inside of him. They might share a short awkward and polite conversation. 

Tony and Stephen will leave Loki behind in his bed and make their way upstairs. They will try to go about their day. Stephen, laying in the bed, trying not to scream  from the pain that will burn through him and Tony fighting against the anxieties and fears that he can't help but feel. 

They will smile and they will pretend that everything is alright. Even though they all know that  _ nothing _ is alright. 

They are broken. 

Between the times that Loki sleeps, Stephen will have a few hours of grace, free from the pain to try to think. To try to figure out what the sense of wrongness is. He will try to meditate, to pull on the dimensional energies to restore himself. 

He will sit there and he will argue with Clea and Grimshaw to stay at the Tower, despite the pain and despite the fact that he knows he will recover slower. Because the pain, being able to do  _ something _ for Loki is better than the relief he knows that  _ he _ will feel. 

Tony will fret. He will try to work. Pepper will come upstairs to quietly draw his attention to the work that needs doing. Jane will do the same for Thor as they all try to find a semblance of normalcy in a life that has been turned upside down. 

When the night falls and sleep weighs heavily over them, Tony will look at him with the same soft concerned look he gives him now. Then Tony will encourage him to sleep so that he can, with the help of the Cloak of Levitation, carry Stephen downstairs to Loki's bedroom. 

And the pattern will repeat again. 

Slowly but surely, Stephen hopes that he will become used to the prolonged moments spent with the god. That he will become used to Loki's presence and learn to feel safe as he should in the arms of the god that has saved him and kept him alive. 

As Soulmates are meant to be. 

"Are you ready?" Tony asks him softly and Stephen wants to nod yes, but he can't. The Connection with Loki is quiet now with the god's slumber. But soon, without their presence, the nightmares will awaken the god and the Connection will burn again with pain. 

Even knowing that, it's- Stephen can't lie to Tony. 

"Hey, baby, come here." Tony says quietly as he sits on the edge of the bed. Their bed. The one that Stephen has only today been able to leave without help. 

Stephen does. 

The Cloak has become a constant presence in their lives now. The Cloak sits dutifully as still as a cardigan should in the presence of those that do not know of magic. With Tony, it is more playful and affectionate. 

Even now, as Stephen moves closer to Tony, walking easier with the assistance of the Cloak of Levitation, it reaches out with the corner of  its  folds to curl around Tony's wrist before Stephen can reach out with his own hand. 

"Yo, Cloakie, how about you um take a look at the lab and play with the other kids huh?" Tony suggests and as he does, Stephen blinks. He is surprised by the request. 

The Cloak isn't reluctant but it also isn't keen. Like most magical Artefacts, it has an inherent understanding of magic and it knows, Stephen thinks ; that  its  Master is weak. Stephen's magic is slow to return and without it, there is a certain sense of vulnerability that he does not enjoy. 

Still, the Cloak does flutter back to  its  usual form and before long, after wrapping both of them in a half hug, disappears from the bedroom. 

Without  its presence and assistance, Stephen feels his limbs becoming heavy and he almost falters but just in time, Tony catches him and brings him back down to the bed. 

"How are you feeling?" Tony asks but as he does, Stephen feels it. That low stir of arousal inside of Tony and by extension, inside of him. Oh, he thinks. Well, that's very much like Tony Stark isn't it? He can't help but think with a soft smile. 

"Well enough." Stephen tells him, the soft heat waking up inside of him as he reads his lover's intentions and desires. 

"Good. Do you know how much I want to touch you? To worship you?" Tony asks him, his voice more desperate than aroused. Stephen doesn't get the chance to reply as Tony captures his lips as he pulls and pushes at Stephen until he is laid out onto the bed, flat on his back. 

The genius's lips never leave his throughout the process. 

Tony's hands are gentle as they caress him. They have been so very gentle in the past few days as Tony had helped him to sit up from the bed, to go to the bathroom, as he had bathed Stephen and touched him and showed him love and affection with every touch. 

But this is the first time in those said days that the genius was taking things in a different direction from simple care and affection. 

The pool of arousal that is always present when it comes to Tony Stark flares in Stephen's stomach and he does the best he can to wrap his arms around the genius, but it's a struggle. His limbs are heavier than they have ever been and with it being near their bed time, Stephen is tired. Tony gives him a soft smile as he breaks from the kiss. 

"I just want to- I just need to touch you. Is that alright?" Tony asks him, his lips against Stephen's his breath mingling with his and each word a plea punctuated by the soft kisses. 

"Please." Stephen mutters back against those lips and he feels them smile softly against his own as Tony does exactly as he has promised. 

Stephen has felt this building up. Tony's need to constantly be able to see him and to touch him is as a result of the anxiety that he feels. Stephen knows that. But that isn't all. 

Tony has always been tactile and he has always expressed his love and affection the best with his hands and his lips. Tony's need to do so has been growing over the last couple of days.

But Stephen's fragility had held him back until now. 

That need isn't the only reason. Stephen knows Tony all too well and can read him all too well now and it's impossible not to see what Tony is trying to do. 

Tony strips Stephen in that careful and gentle way that feels almost out of the norm for their usual love making. As each inch of skin is revealed, Tony kisses and caresses him as if it is the first time that Tony is exploring his body. 

Somewhere at the back of his mind, Stephen is all too aware that they really shouldn't be doing this. That Loki might awaken with the nightmares at any time and that they really should be with the god, giving him the comfort. 

But this- Tony needs this and so does Stephen and Tony isn't wrong. As he has been recovering, it is harder and harder for Stephen to put his mind at ease and into rest, knowing where and how he will wake up once he sleeps. 

This act of intimacy will help him do that. To relax and more importantly, it will make him feel safe and loved in ways that almost nothing else could. 

Tony is thorough.

He leaves no patch of skin on Stephen's arms, neck and chest untouched and  unkissed . His lips linger and worship Stephen's body as he goes and by the time that Tony reaches his stomach, Stephen is trembling with need and desire and the overwhelming love embedded into every single gesture. 

Tony doesn't say a word. 

The usually talkative Tony Stark lets his touches and his kisses do all of the talking for him as Stephen clasps a hand over his lips and try not to let the tears fall as the man shows just how much he loves him with every single moment that he spends worshipping Stephen's body. 

It is overwhelming in the best way possible. 

When Tony strips him of his pants, the genius kisses his way down Stephen's right leg. he kisses and caresses Stephen's  thigh , his knee, his shin and even his toes. Tony kisses every single one of his toes before working his way back up  and  moving onto the left leg. 

Their Connection fills with  a flood of love and devotion and the Bond all but purrs inside of him as Stephen feels it all wash over him and  through  him. 

It feels like a love letter being written into his skin. It feels like Tony is etching his gratitude for being able to have Stephen in his life onto him. Every kiss, every caress is gentle and soft and filled with so, so much of that love and affection there aren't- there are no words to describe it. 

By the time he has been laid bare and every inch of his skin has been kissed, Stephen is burning with desire and arousal even as his eyes overflow with the emotions that he can't hold back. 

As Tony climbs his way back  up  his body, Stephen expects Tony to prepare him, but he doesn't. Instead, the genius lowers his head and kisses him softly, his eyes brimming with emotion. 

Their hard lengths meet and Stephen realises with some surprise that during the time that Tony had been worshipping him and Stephen had been lost to the emotions and the sensations, the genius had stripped himself as well. 

Stephen hadn't noticed. He had been too caught up in the emotions  and sensations . 

Tony straddles him and kisses him softly as he moves his hips slowly and as he does, Stephen's hard cock catches on the wet and loosened rim. Stephen's eyes widen with surprise as Tony smirks. 

But the smirk fades quickly as he kisses Stephen. 

The kiss remains soft even as Tony sinks down onto him and takes him inside of himself. Every time they have sex, it feels beautiful. It always feels amazing and perfect and since Tony has been honest with emotions, there has always been emotions in their intimate moments. 

But never like this. 

This feels like a prayer. Worship. 

This is Tony telling him with no uncertain terms that he loves Stephen, needs Stephen and the fact in itself tells Stephen of just how terrified Tony has been and how terrified he remains that he might lose Stephen. 

It tells of the worry, the fear, the anxiety and most of all, it speaks of the gratitude for the fact that Stephen  _ is _ here. That he  _ is _ alive. 

Tony's eyes are wet with emotions as well as he bends down and lowers his head and kisses Stephen like he is drowning as he takes all of Stephen into himself. There is a sigh that passes straight into Stephen as the inventor's hips settle onto Stephen's. 

"Never again Stephen. Promise me. Never again." The plea is soft on his lips as they are whispered. The tears that  have  been flowing freely from Stephen's eyes blur his vision for a moment. 

He blinks them away furiously as he reaches up and  cradles  Tony's face in his and kisses him. 

He wishes that he could make such  a promise but they both know that it would be a lie. With the lives that they lead, with the threat that looms over them at all times, it would be an insincere promise and one that Stephen, in good conscience, can't offer. 

So he kisses Tony and whispers his apologies instead. He whispers his assurances that he will do the best that he can. 

For a long moment, they remain like that, kissing and whispering words of love and comfort to each other. Stephen isn't even sure for how long they remain that way. 

It doesn't matter. Time doesn't matter. 

Nothing does but this moment and this intimacy and the emotions flowing between them. 

There is something wrong. 

Even in this perfect moment, there is a voice inside of Stephen that tells him that something is wrong. That something isn't fitting right. Stephen doesn't know what it is. All that he knows, all that he can think about for the time being is Tony and the heat of his lover's body and the soft whispers and kisses against his lips. 

Eventually, Tony will move and their coupling will become frantic with their need to fulfil their desires and to burn away the lust that hums through them. 

Eventually, as Tony intended, Stephen will fall asleep, exhausted by the physical activity and the emotions. When he is, Tony will take him downstairs. Tony will lay Stephen down next to Loki before settling himself down. 

Together, the three of them will spend the night, resting and sleeping and most importantly and hopefully, healing. 

But for now, there is only Tony. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday**

**7 June 2011 **

The hour is late, and the Gold Palace is quiet and her steps echo in the hallways. The guards that are forever awake and diligently line the halls, bow as she walks past them. 

Frigga bows her head towards them, but her steps do not slow down. There is no urgency, but her determination and her need forces her to walk quickly. 

When the sun rises, the halls will come to life with the courtiers, the nobles, the servants and those that work the business of running the Nine Realms. 

What a farce. 

Odin the Conqueror has destroyed and laid waste to all but six of the Nine Realms. Yet he calls them a part of his Nine Realms.

Odin sleeps peacefully in their bedchambers. Frigga cannot. She cannot understand how he can. 

The disgust and anger that had been building up in her heart over the centuries  weighs  heavily upon her. She had been such a fool, she can't help but think as she sighs and takes a deep breath. 

It is difficult. 

To stand by his side and to play the role of the dutiful Queen when her heart burns with pain and hatred for him. But that is the price that she must pay and the burden that she must bear. 

It is difficult for her to sleep. To breathe. Every breath that she takes reminds her of the pain that her child suffers. And each breath only adds to the bitterness and hate she feels for the god that she is meant to love. 

It is so very difficult not to sink into the tears and the sorrow in her heart. But she does not. She  _ cannot _ . She is Queen Frigga of the Nine Realms, the Goddess of Wisdom, the mother of Prince Thor and Prince Loki. 

She  cannot display her grief to the courts. She cannot show any signs of weakness. Not now. Not when her children need her to be strong. Not when they need her to be powerful. 

Besides, she has made a promise. 

Hel, the poor, poor child had urged her to swear. To promise that they will both remain strong. That they will both hold onto their pain and sorrow and will use it for Loki. It is a promise that Frigga had gladly made and it is a promise that she will never be able to break. 

Still, the pain and sorrow do ring through her heart and it is impossible to shake it. 

At least now, she does not feel  the  dread and fear she had felt when Hel had reached out to her desperately to inform her of what had been happening. 

Oh dear Norns. Just recalling that moment sends chills down Frigga's spine. She had believed that she had lost Loki once. That had been difficult enough to bear. She cannot- 

Loki lives, she reminds herself. Loki lives. 

And he has awoken. She had seen it through Grungir and the All Seeing Throne's power. But all is not well. Loki's soul is weak and wavering. Already fractured and injured, Loki's soul remains incredibly fragile and broken. 

And each time she sees  that her heart and her soul  also  breaks and shatters. 

But he lives. As  do  his Soulmates. 

It is for that, that she gives thanks to the Norns and to the Universe. Loki is strong. He has always been strong. 

Despite the trials that he is experiencing now, Frigga  _ knows _ that her son will overcome them. He is strong enough to do so. He has to be. 

Frigga is almost, but not quite, grateful for the one concession Odin has allowed her to assist in her grief. The use of the All Seeing Throne in the evening hours so that she can look up on her children. 

He had offered it as a grand gesture of his love and affection for her in front of the entire court. She had almost laughed at the mockery of love. 

It was no such thing. 

No, this too is a means of manipulation. Of ensuring that her favour remains with him and that she remains his loyal and dutiful wife. A pawn and tool to be used to keep his power and control over the Nine Realms. Nothing more. 

Odin may be a stubborn and proud fool, but he is a born King. He  _ knows _ how to manipulate and he  _ knows _ how to garner and keep political power. But he does not know whether he ought to. And therein  lay  his fault. 

The Odinsleep that he requires has not been met. He sleeps more and more in the evenings to try to delay the Odinsleep. For him to be vulnerable now without his sons to protect him and to protect his Realm is far, far too dangerous. 

Even now, as Odin sleeps, the Nine Realms are quietly slipping from his control. 

Without the Bifrost, Odin has lost the ability to directly interfere and keep an eye on the other Realms and they were taking advantage of the situation. 

Odin is all too aware, as she is, of the ways that Freya was rising up in Vanaheim. Her brother has taken the opportunity to be without the control of Odin and Asgard to enact the centuries old plan to regain control of his own realm. 

Vanaheim is becoming united under Freya's rule. His  _ true _ rule. Not as a puppet king controlled by Odin and Asgard, but the true born king of Vanaheim. 

Odin hopes to use Frigga's  goodwill  and her presence in Asgard as his wife as a threat and as an incentive to get Freya back into line. It will not work. It is, after all, Frigga herself that has encouraged her brother to take such actions. That has helped him plan for the past centuries. 

Vanaheim is not the only one. Jotunheim was quietly gathering. The clans were coming together and they were collecting their resources and readying themselves to rise up. Laufey will not remain quiet for long. 

Quietly, but surely, all of the Realms that still live, were starting to form their own governments, their own armies and preparing themselves, if not for war, then at the very least for some sort of independence. 

Soon, the time of reckoning will come and Odin will be forced to make a choice. 

Uphold his image of being the benevolent and peaceful king that rules with a firm but caring hand throughout the Nine Realms or use the military might of Asgard and sacrifice countless lives to reassert his firm control over the Realms. 

Diplomacy or war. 

Those will be his options. But this time, he will have to do it alone. There will be no Hela. No Thor, no Loki and no Frigga. He will stand alone with no General for his army, with no strategist and no mage. 

Odin's hand will be forced to diplomacy. Frigga will ensure that. She has been working to plot exactly that. No longer will she be the quiet puppet queen to be used. No. Frigga will be as she has been named. The Goddess of Wisdom. 

Frigga takes a deep breath as she enters the Throne Room. Grungir feels heavy and cold in her hands,  its  ancient magics old and powerful. 

Frigga walks the familiar lengths of the Throne Room and sits upon the Golden Throne. It feels cold as it always does. She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes to focus her magic. 

The magic is slow to come. She has been overreaching herself day to day, working under the heavy wards of Loki's chambers to keep in contact with Vanaheim,  Alfheim , Helheim and Jotunheim. But the magic does come as beckoned. 

With a firm hand, she brings Grungir down onto the enchanted floor and as the magic connects and flows, the vision form in front of her. She opens her eyes and breathes a sigh of relief. 

The sight of Loki,  lying  quietly with his Soulmates curled around him is a sight that warms her heart and gives her that moment of relief. 

Loki may not be a child of her loins, but he is a child of her heart. Despite the fact that he is a millennia old and mature enough that he does not require her mothering, she cannot help but notice that he is far paler than she would like. 

She can see the pain etched into his eyes. She can see his fractured soul flickering, not quite able to settle and heal. 

It is difficult to see him in pain. But it is also relieving to be able to see him. She merely leans back into the throne and drink in the sight of her child, hale and alive. 

It is this moment that she waits for each day. 

Through the day and the night, she works to prepare for Loki and Thor's return. Readying the Realms to rise up against Odin and to demand their independence. All of the magic that she has, she uses to that end. 

But in the evenings, she watches Loki and Thor for hours. Reminding herself of what it is that she fights for. For whom, she hides the secrets and works her magics for. 

It helps that Odin is too proud and too arrogant to see her as a threat to his power. 

And each moment, each sight she sees of her children and the Soulmates that they have Connected with and the potential futures that stretch out before them, gives Frigga the hope that she needs and the strength that she needs to continue. 

It is a mother's duty and honour to protect and guide her children. It is a mother's duty to raise them to be strong but kind. To have values and morals. To know the world. It is a mother's duty to love her children, no matter what. 

And it is a mother's duty to provide the best possible future  for  her children. There  are  no lengths that a mother will not go to for the children that she loves with all of her heart. And Frigga loves her children. And there is  _ nothing _ that she cannot and will not do for them. 

Even if it means defying the King of Gods. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**7 June 2011 **

The silence isn't... uncomfortable. 

They have known each other for far too long and have lived with each other and have loved each other for far, far too long to have the awkward discomforts one might feel at the silence that stretch between them. 

But the silence is heavy and the words that are left unsaid might be better served said. Thor cannot know. 

Not for the first time and he doubts, for the last time, Thor wishes that he had Loki's eloquence with words. That he had Loki's ability to see into the minds of beings and to understand what it is that occurs inside of their minds. 

Thor has no such talents and thus, he is left to ponder and to think and to seek counsel from others. Which he has done. 

Jane with her soft touches, her loving presence and warm words of support has encouraged him to spend time with Loki. To be there for him and to reassure him and to be the rock that he needs to lean on. He hadn't had the heart to explain to her that Thor cannot be the anchor that Loki needs. 

Bruce had told him of the ailments of the mind and how difficult such scars and experiences that Loki has experienced could be to recover from. Bruce had provided his own words of wisdom and kindness as had Darcy and Pepper. 

But it is Clea Strange to whom Thor is the most grateful. It is her and her magic that had helped Loki cling to life and it had been her hand that had guided the raw magic inside of him to help Loki. He would not have known how to manage such an act without her and for her assistance, he can only be grateful. 

Her counsel to Thor had been simple. Do not leave Loki alone. His soul is so fragile and his loss so great that she fears for him and his life even now. It is a sentiment that he can only agree with. Thor had  nodded and  had thanked her. Thor wonders if Loki will. 

The silence stretches and Thor watches Loki as he sits up against the headboard of the bed, his eyes turned outwards towards the skylines. 

Thor wonders what it is that Loki is thinking of. Whether he is considering the magic that he has lost, or the Connection that he can no longer feel. He wonders if it is the torture he'd suffered at the hands of Thanos that his brother dwells on. Or- 

There are far, far too many things that could be causing the pain and anguish on his brother's face and Thor wishes, he direly wishes that he could do something. 

"You need not watch me like a mother hen, Thor. I am not a child that requires watching over." Loki tells him. His voice is exhausted. Both emotionally and physically. Thor debates how he should answer the question, but it comes quickly enough. 

"No, you are not. But you are my brother and it is both my honour and my duty to stay by your side." Thor tells him quietly. There is a faint look of surprise that widens Loki's eyes for just a moment, though he doesn't turn to look at Thor. 

The silence stretches for a moment longer. 

"I wish to be alone." Loki tells him. But it is a request that they both know that he will not honour. Loki's soul is too fragile and Thor  knows only too well from the lessons he has learnt from his mother what the effect of such a soul could be. 

"And I wish to remain here with you. I believe we are at an impasse." Thor tells Loki gently, though they both know why it is that Thor won't leave. 

The silence stretches again. 

Thor knows that Loki is broken. He has broken over and over and he will continue to break until he can start to heal. And Thor knows not what will facilitate the healing that Loki requires. 

He wishes that he could seek the counsel of his mother. Frigga would know what to do. What to say. But he does not. No. All he can do is watch as his brother falls apart in front of his eyes again and again. 

Loki doesn't scream and rail or cry. He merely curls into himself in the bed and  cries  silent tears that neither will acknowledge. Or he will scream at Thor and yell at him of incidents of the past to chase Thor away. It doesn't work. 

Then the exhaustion that plagues him will draw him into sleep and into the nightmares. For an hour or two, Thor will take his leave to spend some time with Jane and the others, to reap of the solace that they provide  _ his _ weary soul. 

When Tony comes by to spend time with Loki, to provide the stabilising presence that Thor cannot provide, Loki will put on a brave face. He will hide the pain that cannot be hidden. 

The silence breaks. 

But when Loki opens his lips, Thor hears words that he wishes that he doesn't. 

"Why did you save me?" Loki's voice is raw and broken. 

For a moment, Thor almost does not hear the words. They are so soft, the words so impossible that Thor almost does not hear it. But when he does, his heart breaks and shatters anew. 

"How could I not? You are my brother and I love you." Thor says honestly. The confusion that he feels, the pain that he feels that Loki could even ask such a thing is there in his voice. He wonders if Loki can hear it. 

Loki does turn to look at him then. 

His emerald green eyes stormy and dark with rage, sorrow and pain. Thor isn't prepared, but it wouldn't have mattered if he had been. 

There is a moment. 

A quiet moment when Thor sees it all. He sees Loki's soul shaking and quivering, he sees the anger and sorrow, he sees the way that Loki's eyes flash. Then Thor  sees  it. Loki breaking. Shattering. 

Again and again and again until Thor wonders if there is anything left behind. 

Hysterical laughter  fills  the room and Thor feels the tears rise to his eyes as he listens to the empty, hollow, mirthless laughter that  echoes . 

It doesn't take long for those laughs to turn into sobs. It takes even less time for Thor to move to try to offer the comfort that he knows won't be enough. 

He moves and he fights against Loki’s struggles to get away from his hold until Loki quietens, clings to him and sobs. 

Helplessness fills his heart. 

For all his position, for all his power, for all his strength, there is nothing that Thor can do. 

He cannot return what Loki has lost back to him. He can't return Loki's lover, his child and her childhood, the year he'd lost at the edge of the universe and his identity as an Asgardian or his magic. But he  _ can _ hold Loki's trembling body as he sobs. 

He  _ can _ be there for his brother as he breaks apart over and over again. And he can at the very least and at last, mourn and grieve with Loki and share even just a modicum of that pain. 

It is the  _ only _ thing he can do. 

It isn’t enough. 

~~~ 


	20. Greedy Fucking Bastard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is t.h.e worst timing. 
> 
> Tony's mind isn't in the right place to deal with this. It really isn't. 
> 
> But he doesn't have a choice does he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> Your sleep deprived 'the road crew keeps drilling through the fucking night and I just wanna cry' author here. 
> 
> There is a massive A/N at the end of the chapter if you are interested in reading it that will outline some of the psychology the boys are experiencing and my rationale for writing them the way that I am doing currently. 
> 
> I do realise that some of you are finding the progress frustrating and I thought that maybe I will explain why things are going the way that they are. I have had some discussions with some of you on the discord server and also in the comments so I figured I will just write it out for the future audiences as well. 
> 
> Thank you as always for the comments. They really do keep me writing and going through the days. 
> 
> <3

**Tuesday **

**7 June 2011 **

_ 'My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.'  _

_ 'I'm sorry to hear that.'  _

_ 'I wish there  _ _ was  _ _ something I can do.'  _

All the platitudes that Jane is familiar with echo through her mind. 

She has heard them over and over again when her father died. She had hated them. They  were  empty words that mean very little and offer very little comfort. Knowing that severely limits the words of comfort that she can offer to Thor. 

So she doesn't. 

Instead, she offers him her  hands, her hugs, her kisses and her warmth. She holds him as he cries, she helps him rest when he knows that Loki is safe with the others. She is simply there for him to lean on if he needs it. 

That is all that she can do. 

And in turn, that's the comfort that she receives from Darcy and Clea and Pepper. In fact, they all comfort and support each other. It is the least that the can do given the circumstances. Jane isn't sure what she would have done without Darcy, Clea and Pepper. 

Thor has explained the Soul Connection and what it means. It still seems impossible to her and it is all very fantastical. But she understands that it is important to him and that her presence, her love helps him and that is what matters.

Even if she can't feel the Connection. Even if she might not understand it. 

She will admit though, being entrusted with the secret that Stephen Strange, Tony Stark and Loki are all... Soulmates? Together? 

And that they are her family through Thor? 

Yeah. That is a bit difficult to understand and to accept. The family part isn't the difficult part for her to grasp. Tony and Stephen and Loki  have  felt like family to her even before she'd understood and found out what they were to each other and by extension to her. 

Those at the Tower were slowly but surely building lasting friendships and bonds that she knows will be akin to family if not a family of choice. They have dealt with tragedies together and they have supported each other and they have shared many meals. 

That meets any important definition of family that she believes in. There is love and affection growing and soon, Jane hopes, Darcy will know what it is like to have a family and that she herself might get to experience it again. 

No. The family part is fine. She understands that, accepts that and very much wants that. 

The difficult part for her to accept is the fact that she loves a god. That there are Soulmates. That there are these mythical connections and magic. 

She loves Thor. She really does. She has never loved anyone like she loves Thor, but it is a terrifying prospect to love a god. An alien being. 

A being that controls thunder and lightning at whim, a being that can break bones without a thought and a being that worships her every opportunity he gets. 

It's- It's both wonderful and terrifying. 

And that being, that wonderful god that loves her and worships her and that she worships right back... is in pain. And more than anything else, more than all the other confusions in her mind, that is what she focuses on. She can deal with the rest later. 

Loki's torture and his pain is more obvious and it is one that everyone knows and worries about. But Thor's  pain and anguish that he had felt at losing Loki, only to have him back broken and shattered is the pain that goes unnoticed. And that is the pain that Jane wishes she can help heal. 

But it isn't easy. 

Thor's pain is mixed with guilt and hatred and anger towards himself and that dreadful helplessness he had felt. There is a fear inside of Thor now of losing not just Loki but all those that he cares about. 

And Thor doesn't know how to express that pain. That anguish, that sorrow and that fear. He doesn't know how to deal with that pain and perpetual fear. It is new to him. He has never lost anyone that he has cared about before Loki. 

He doesn't tell her that he needs help. He just looks at her and his eyes become wet with tears when they are alone in her bedroom. 

As they do now. 

The baby blue eyes fill with tears and the tight fist that he holds tells her that he is doing everything he can to stop the pains in his heart from being expressed outside in the form of thunderstorms. 

She can't help the fond smile that lights up her face. It is that kindness, that consideration that is a part of Thor that she cannot help but adore and love. So, even as her heart aches and breaks, she smiles. 

"Come on." She says softly as she extends a hand to him. He takes it. His large hand covers hers and she pulls him onto the bed and into her arms. 

Despite their size difference, despite the initial resistance, Thor rests his head on her shoulders and he drapes himself across her as they curl up in the sheets together. 

Jane doesn't comment when she feels the tears beginning to overflow and soak into her shirt. 

Words can't fix this. 

Instead, she lays a hand over his hair and cards her fingers over and over in his hair as she holds him as tightly as she can and offers herself for him to find comfort in. 

Down the hallway, she knows that Loki has broken once again. He had most likely lashed out, cried or screamed. She knows that as he had fallen apart and broken, Thor had stood there, watched it all and let his own heart break with his brother's. 

She knows that Thor had held Loki and had tried to comfort him as he fought back, until exhausted, Loki took the comfort that he needed from Thor. 

She knows how exhausting all of that must have been. 

But for now, Loki sleeps. Soon, he might wake up  with nightmares and Thor will leave again to comfort him and fight with him. Then when Thor himself needs the comfort, he will come back to her and curl up with her. That's fine. 

It's more than fine. 

Because Jane remembers comfort like this. She remembers her Darcy curling up in the bed with her and holding her and letting her cry over and over as she talked mindlessly about random things that popped into her head until her voice ran out. 

Jane can't quite manage that. But there is something that she knows that she can say and that she needs to say. The only 'platitude' that really matters. That might help. 

"I love you." 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**8 June 2011 **

They don't need this right now. 

They really,  _ really _ don't  _ fucking _ need this right now. In fact, this can't be happening because they can't- This bullshit is- Pepper takes a deep breath.

Stop panicking. Calm down, Pepper tells herself. She takes a deep, deep breath. God, she's fucked it up hasn't she? 

"Are you sure about this?" Pepper will admit, her voice is harsher than she would like to a colleague and an old friend. But he doesn't flinch and he doesn't seem upset by it. He knows her well enough to know that she isn't angry at him. It's not his fault. 

"Yes. I- I got the news on Monday but I wanted to make sure and double check the legitimacy before I approached you or Tony. I do apologise for the delay that has caused." Alexander tells her apologetically. 

It isn't  _ his _ fault. 

Of course it isn't. If any blame is to be handed, it should be to her. She takes a deep breath and looks at Alexander and lets that breath out as she focuses and tries to control her anger. 

She should be thanking Alexander right now. He had gathered, no doubt from the tension and from Tony's absence, that something was happening. He had done everything he  could  to verify that the report was real and once he had, he had come straight to her. 

He has done everything right. That doesn't help her with her outrage, anger and that sense of betrayal and failure that leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. 

"How the hell did this happen?" Her voice is cold but it is better controlled this time. Less angry. Alexander's sharp blue eyes are narrow as he looks over the tablet in his hands. 

"Todashi being a fucking greedy bastard is how!" The angry voice that interrupts them is accompanied by the door to her office being harshly opened and  slammed  behind Tony as he strides in, his face a mask of pure rage. 

Shit. 

"Mr Stark." Alexander says softly as he moves away to give Pepper a line of sight to the genius as he storms into her office.  Oh, it's  been a while since Pepper has seen that expression in Tony's face she thinks. This cold calculating rage of the owner of Stark Industries is- 

Well. He must have gotten the email too then, she thinks as she sighs and stands up to try to placate him. She can deal with this on her own. Right? She doesn't need to drag Tony into this when he's already got so much on his plate. 

"Tony we can-" She tries, but Tony isn't in the mood to be placated. He is angry, he is outraged and he is just as livid as she is. As Alexander is. She takes a deep breath. Tony's anger and his outrage actually helps her. 

It's easier for her to calm down and to try to be the voice of reason even as two  screens, come to life behind her. One showing Stephen's vitals, as has become the norm and the other showing Stephen laying in bed talking to Grimshaw and Clea. 

The screens are distorted by the fact that they are reflected on her screen, but she sees them and she sees Alexander's eyes focus on the screens for a moment before he wisely decides not to comment and turn to look at Tony instead as he paces in front of them. 

This could not have come at a worse time. 

"How the fuck did he think he can get away with this?!" Tony all but shouts and Pepper honestly wants to ask the same question. 

It's Alexander that answers,

"From the whistleblower complaint, it seems that Mr Todashi believed that with you being focused on the matters in New York, he would be able to enact the deals under the radar." Alexander is the voice of reason and calm that neither Tony and Pepper were. At least for the time being. Pepper takes another deep breath. 

"Tony, we need to focus on how we are going to deal with this. We can worry about  the  hows and whys later." Pepper tells him in hopes that she will be able to get him to focus. 

But it's been a really hard couple of weeks and even months really and Tony's psyche was fragile enough as it is and his emotions were volatile as it was. This was a bombshell that they really didn't need. 

As she looks at Tony and the rage going through his eyes even as he looks over at the two screens with the anxiety that he can't quite hide, she can't help but feel guilty. 

Pepper feels the shame go through her as it had first done when she'd read the email. This was on her, she thinks. 

She is the Chief Executive Officer of Stark Industries. She is supposed to be overseeing and leading the company. Tony had entrusted the company to her and she has failed him. 

This happened under her watch. 

Shit. 

"Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We- We should do that." Tony tells her after a long moment of clearly trying to reign in his emotions. Even as he speaks to her, his eyes are on the screen behind her. 

He takes a deep breath as if he is trying to control his emotions and for a moment, she wonders why. But she gets her answer quickly enough. Through the reflection on her monitor, she can see the hazy view of Stephen curling into himself. 

Stephen can feel  _ everything _ , Loki had said. 

Oh dear Lord. What does Tony's anger and rage feel like to Stephen? It can't be pleasant, if he is curling into himself and grasping at his heart. 

That is- It's horrific. 

Pepper had been too mortified at the idea of the god being aroused by Tony and Stephen's activities in her presence that she hadn't really thought it through then, but now that she knows and now that she can see the effects it's-

Oh God. 

Tony takes a few deep  breaths  and curling his hands into his fists, he sits down in the plush white lounge chairs she had in front of her desk. 

For a moment, there is silence in the room as Tony takes calming breaths and they all  take  the time to calm down some. Pepper settles into her chair as well and takes some breathes herself. 

Within moments, Tony is a picture of calm as he crosses his legs and settles. As he does, Pepper realises that it has been a while since she has seen this side of her friend. 

She got a glimpse of it during the meeting with Madam Secretary Javier, but this is the Tony Stark that the business world revered and feared. 

The genius businessman that has worked since the age of 21 to build up a company that had no rival. That was able to change from being a weapons manufacturer to the tech giant that it is now in just two years. 

All of sudden, despite the magnitude of the event and what it is going to mean crushing down on her, Pepper feels hope and confidence. They will get through this she thinks. They have Tony Stark. 

"Alright. Alexander, talk." Tony says. No. Commands. 

Tony is calm now. Calm, with cold burning rage in his eyes, but calm and he is focused and it is that kind of deadly focus that had always put Tony in an advantageous position in every business deal they'd ever had to deal with. 

"Yes sir." Alexander says as he takes a deep breath and begins to talk. Pepper doesn't pay full attention to him. She's already read the report for herself and she has already listened to this once before. 

Instead, she focuses on Tony. 

He's lost weight since this whole ordeal with Stephen had started. There was a thin layer of anxiety over Tony's eyes and expression. 

Even as he listens to Alexander Winters' report, Tony's eyes are flitting back and forth between the screen of Stephen's vitals and the doctor himself to Alexander. 

Tony's full attention is on Alexander and his words, but from the way that he can't help but look, Pepper knows that Tony's anxieties and fears were rooted far, far deeper than she had thought. 

Not that it is surprising. 

Pepper understands what Tony has gone through better than most people in the Tower. She knows what it feels like to have someone you love, someone that you need in your life, torn away from you through the cruel actions of others. 

She knows what it feels like to desperately search for that person, unable to find them but also unable to give up. She understand what that helplessness feels like and that devastation feels like. What that fear of losing them feels like and just how lingering and damaging that fear can be. 

She also knows the joys of having that person being returned. But the fear and anxiety remaining as each and every moment that they aren't in your line of sight, your fears wonder if it was just a dream. 

That in fact, your loved one hasn't been returned and it had just been a pleasant dream. 

So yes. Pepper understands Tony's anxieties and his fears. She also knows by the extension of what she has been given to understand about their relationship and what they were to each other, how much  _ more _ of all of those emotions that Tony would feel. 

Which makes this situation, this bullshit,  _ worse _ . 

The timing really, really couldn't be worse. Tony needs more time. Just as she had needed the time to be able to stay with Tony at the mansion and be around him and  spend time with him until she felt the reassurance of his continued presence in her life. 

Tony needs that time to spend with Stephen until he can be sure that it hadn't been a dream and until he can deal with the anxieties that surely plague him. 

Tony hasn't had enough of that and yet- 

"Fuck." Tony utters as soon as Alexander is done talking. The realisation is clear on his face as it is on  Alexander’s  and on Pepper's. 

Alexander doesn't know what's happened with Stephen. No one does outside of the Avengers and their associates within the Tower. But Alexander is well known for discretion and he doesn't ask questions that he does not need to know the answers to. 

"What's our deadline?" Tony asks, his voice cold and commanding. Alexander looks over the paperwork. In the  meantime , Tony's sharp caramel brown eyes  met hers . She opens her lips to try to apologise, but Tony gets to her first. 

"Don't. It's not your fault Pep. It's my fault. When we did our purge, I should have made sure that I looked into all the overseas branches and subsidiaries as well. I didn't. that's my fuck up." Tony tells her sharply and Pepper shuts her lips, though she doesn't agree. 

Hirota Todashi might have been a remnant of Obadiah and his more insidious ways of doing business and underhanded bullshit, but it  was  her that has failed to catch what he'd been up to until  it had almost been too late. 

"Monday. We will need to have everything resolved and smooth out the issues with the Japanese government by Monday. If not, there's going to be questions asked and we would be in breach of the  Sunset  clauses." Alexander informs them. 

Tony's expression is grim as he looks, not at Pepper nor at Alexander, but at the screen and at Stephen's form as he lays, curled into his side, his eyes closed tightly. Tony breathes deeply before he nods slowly. 

"Fine. Get the ground team ready. We leave first thing tomorrow morning. Let's get this sorted before the media gets a hold of it and before the Japanese government completely pulls out of this." Tony decides and all Pepper can do is nod as he stands up swiftly. 

"Alexander, get your team. Anyone familiar with the Japanese legal system and get me a copy of Todashi's contract and the contract with the Japanese government. Pepper, start a Stark Industries wide investigation into  _ any _ corruption from  _ anyone _ within the company. This is not happening again." Tony tells them firmly. Pepper nods, as does Alexander. 

Just as Tony had stormed into the office, he storms back out and in the silence that he leaves behind, the screens behind her flicker and disappear. The question in Alexander's eyes are obvious but he doesn't voice them. 

For that, she is grateful, Pepper thinks as she sinks into her chair and closes her eyes. 

"Let's get Gina onto this as well. I know she has contacts in the Japanese media. Let's make sure that the narrative doesn't go out skewed. We're going to be crucifying Todashi for this, but let's make sure we do it the right way." She tells Alexander, who simply nods before he too sighs. 

"We still haven't finalised the United Nations-" Alexander starts to say but Pepper shakes her head. 

"We'll deal with that later. We have another week and a bit to worry about that. And even then, we just need the opening statement. One fire at a time Alex." Pepper tells him tiredly as he nods and gets up to leave. 

"I'll get it sorted Pepper. For what it's worth, I'm sorry that this happened." He tells her and Pepper nods. But he doesn't even know half of it, she can't help but think as she turns her chair to look out into the New York skyline. 

God, she wishes that she was better at her job. She wishes that she could make sure that Tony could stay here, with Stephen, getting himself and Stephen settled. Stephen hasn't even been able to really leave the sick bed and yet- 

The fact is, she can't do this alone. 

Even if the scandal hadn't happened, Tony had been scheduled to be in Japan with her at least on Monday. But it would have been a short trip. 

Not anymore and for that, Pepper doesn't know how the hell she is supposed to apologise or make it up to the genius. She's not sure how his psyche is going to hold up during the time away.

But even as she thinks that, she can't help but think of Hirota Todashi and the hell that is going to rain upon him. Pepper has felt this sort of anger before and she knows that whilst she might not be Tony fucking Stark and she might not have his genius, she does know how to protect her friends. 

She also knows how to make people pay for their sins and Hirtoa Todashi was not going to know what hit him. 

And he was going to pay. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**8 June 2011 **

The void is vast and gnawing. 

It is impossible to ignore. It is impossible to put aside. It is impossible to be distracted from. 

Every single breath that he takes and every single breath he exhales, he is reminded of the void, the emptiness inside of him. With each and every breath, Loki fights the lure of the void and  its  emptiness  within him .

He knows that were he to give in, it will not stop at the breaks that he suffers now. He will go past the small breaks and fractures of his mind and soul and the overwhelming emotions. 

He will fall  headlong  into the darkness and he will never, ever be able to come out from it. At least, that is the way that it feels. But it is alluring. 

If he simply gives into that void, if he lets that darkness swallow him up, if he lets IT take over his mind, perhaps it would be easier. Perhaps he wouldn't have to feel the pain and the loss so acutely. Perhaps it would be- no. 

No. It might be easier but it will not be safe. Not for Stephen and not for Tony. He cannot let IT have any control within his mind and certainly not with his body. So, he struggles. 

He fights against the lure of that void, the ease of just giving up and giving in. The temptation to just let everything come to an end. To just- 

It is- Loki takes a deep breath. 

Outside, the New York skies are lit with the perpetual light that the city emits. It is a sign of life and excitement and it is the sign of the city coming back to life. It is a sign that is welcomed by those that have experienced the invasion. 

It is a sight that is both beautiful and mesmerising, even as he sees the broken bits of the city that has been caused by his hands, By his actions. It is- 

Loki takes a deep breath. He needs to stop thinking. He needs to stop feeling the  pain and anguis h. He cannot know what Stephen feels now, but he doubts that it is anything pleasant. 

The sorcerer and he  have  not spoken. Stephen was far too weak and his soul too  affected  by the incident. 

And with their broken souls, their fears, their pain and the darkness inside of their hearts grows and stretches and  affects  them all the more. 

Stephen and his sheer will along with the love that Stephen and Tony shares is the only thing that keeps the Triumvirate from falling apart completely. From them all sinking into the darkness. 

The void and the pain that it brings him makes it difficult for Loki to dwell on the more pleasant memories that had kept him company even during the long days and nights in Thanos's clutches. 

Each time, he manages to dwell on the past and the pleasant memories, he is reminded of the fact that he will never have those moments again. 

He will never be able to see Hel again without the express permission of Odin and the use of the Bifrost. He can no longer walk between the dimensions and the spaces through the usage of his magic and the ancient paths to visit Vanaheim and Alfheim as he pleases. 

He can no longer entertain his beautiful child with the illusions she was so fond of. He can no longer transform himself to any form that he desires to roam unnoticed through the streets. He can- Loki lets out a shuddering breath. 

All of those things that his Seidr has once allowed him to do and the loss that he feels at no longer being able to do so is  _ nothing _ compared to the vast emptiness that remains where once he had felt the Connections that linked him to his Soulmates. 

He can longer feel Stephen's calm presence inside of him. He can no longer feel Tony either. Where once the Connections and the Bonds that held him together had been is a vast emptiness. 

And that loss, that emptiness, that disconnected void inside of him is what hurts the most. It is what causes the most amount of pain. 

This is what Tony must feel like, Loki can't help but think. Being aware of the Connection's existence and the Bond that is forming between them that tightens with each night that they spend with Loki, but not being able to feel it or see it or experience the wonders of it. 

It is- Loki closes his eyes. 

It hurts. 

It's the kind of hurt that aches and gnaws and refuses to leave him. It is the kind of pain that settles deep inside oneself and remains there, constantly reminding him of the absence of what had once anchored him. What he had held onto so desperately to keep his sanity. 

Now all that remains is the memory of that wonder, that moment when the Connection had formed, that desperate desire and happiness. But it is nothing but a memory and it haunts him. 

Loki feels... untethered. Broken. Lonely. 

By the Norns, he feels alone. So incredibly alone. Even in the moments when Tony and Stephen come to his bedchambers and  lay  with him. Even when he has  them  surrounding him and comforting him, the loneliness doesn't quite fade completely. 

And that pain? All of his anguish, each moment that he shatters and breaks, all of it is passed directly onto Stephen. He can no longer shield the Sorcerer Supreme from his nightmares or his anguish. 

Loki does not know how to control himself. 

Not in the way that Stephen can. He has never had the need to. He's always had his masks. His outwardly appearance and his clever tricks and his magic to hide himself away. But now, he has  _ none _ of that. All that remains is Loki. No magic, no tricks and no- Nothing. 

He has nothing. 

He  _ is _ nothing. 

He feels bare and vulnerable. Helpless like a babe lost to the whims of the Fates and the Norns. He hates it. All of it. What he has become, what he has lost, what he can no longer be. He- 

And yet, his Soulmates come. They will make their way down to him and they will hold him and they will offer him comfort. They will surround him and give him that desperately needed moment of calm and peace that he cannot have otherwise. 

And despite the fact that he can no longer feel the Bond between them or the Connection, Loki clings to them and holds onto them. How can he not? 

It is with them that he belongs, even with his sins, even with his broken and fractured soul and mind. They are meant to be his home. They are meant to be his. But they are not. 

Loki clenches his fist tightly and takes a deep breath. He ought to be asleep. He ought to be laid upon the bed, asleep so that Stephen need not fear him and so that Tony can coax Stephen onto the bed so that the sorcerer can take the comfort he too needs. 

Had it only been for his needs and his needs alone, Loki would have refused their presence in his bedchambers each night. But he knows that is not the case. 

Both Tony and Stephen require his presence for them too to feel the calm and the peace that they cannot have otherwise either. 

Even with the two of them curled together and with their physical intimacies, they can no longer rest without the nightmares. 

Their souls too, are fractured and broken. And it is his fault. It is through his soul shattering, through the lack of care he had taken to ensure that he could protect Stephen that this has occurred. 

Everything that Loki touches, everything that Loki wants and needs, break and Tony Stark and Stephen Strange was no exception. 

Still. Broken or not, shattered or not, they are his Soulmates. They are a part of him. Their souls are Connected and they are Bonded. As faint as those Bonds may be. They are all that Loki has left. 

Loki knows not whether it is a blessing from the Norns or a curse to force them to spend the night with him. 

But as if summoned by his thoughts, Tony walks into the chambers, a sleeping Stephen in his arms. His burden made lighter by the Cloak of Levitation wrapped around Stephen's sleeping body. 

They are later than usual and one cursory glance to Stephen tells him why. 

There are  the tell tale marks upon Stephen's neck that speaks of intimacy that Loki cannot have with his Soulmates. He does not mind. He has not earned that right and he wagers that he never will. 

If that is a price that he must pay for his sins, then so be it. 

Tony does not speak. He carefully lays Stephen down onto the bed, Cloak and all. It is obvious to see that Stephen is exhausted and that he is in deep slumber. Tony spends a long moment looking down at the sorcerer and making certain that he is comfortable. 

This is not the first time that Stephen has been brought to his chambers like this, Loki wagers. This is the first time that he has been awake to witness this moment, but Tony does not comment on it and neither does Loki. 

He can't. Not when Tony is so focused on Stephen. Not when there is love in every single one of Tony's gestures as he rests the sorcerer's head on the pillow properly and sweeps the hair back and kisses the man's forehead gently. 

The silence breaks with Tony's voice. 

"He has a fever." Tony says quietly as he sits on the edge of the bed where he has laid Stephen and continues to stroke the man's hair. Loki nods slowly from where he stands by the window. He does not move. 

There are no lights on in the room but the lights that stream through from the skylines is sufficient to illuminate them and so is the Arc Reactor inside of Tony's chest. 

Once, before he had lost his magic, Loki had dreamt of working the healing spells that could be used to restore the man's chest to  its  original state. 

That too is no longer within his reach. Loki feels the melancholy settle like a mantle around his shoulders. 

"Grimshaw says it's probably just his body readjusting to magic or something. I don't know." Tony says quietly. The worry and concern that he feels is obvious and even without being able to feel the Connection, Loki feels the need to comfort, to assuage him of that concern. 

"They are most likely correct in their assumptions." Loki says quietly as he slowly walks over to the bed. But he does not climb into it. He merely watches, wanting to reach out but unable to do so. 

"Tomorrow morning, I'm going to have to leave New York." Tony's tone is matter of fact but there is a thin tendril of emotion that Loki recognises as anger. 

At least a thousand years spent reading beings and their emotions and their thoughts allows him some insight even without the Connection, Loki thinks bitterly. 

"I know that you have already done more than enough for us and for him but-" Tony needn't say more. 

"I will care for him as much as he allows me to." Loki interrupts him. That need to comfort and to try to ease the man's mind is overwhelming. 

Tony finally looks up, tearing his eyes away from Stephen with difficulty. The caramel brown eyes are filled with gratitude and resignation. 

"He's- He's still scared of you. He is grateful and he feels guilt for what you were forced to do. But he is still- It's not-" Tony struggles with his words, no doubt feeling vulnerable exposing even this much of his and Stephen's emotions to him. Loki nods. 

"I understand. The mind is a fickle creature and as much as Stephen may appreciate my gesture, there is no need for him to feel guilt nor gratitude. All I have done, I have done as was required of me." Loki says quietly but Tony shakes his head. 

"No. You didn't need to- As I said, you don't owe us anything. It is us that owe you everything." Tony's words are laden with emotion. Loki gives him a small smile. It is the best that he can manage. 

"We shall have to agree to disagree, beloved Anthony." Loki says softly. Tony looks at him and there is a shared smile between them that is filled with emotion and words that they cannot and will not speak. The time is not yet right for such words. 

With his Soulmates this close, the void is not as gaping. It is not as overwhelming. The monster quietens as Loki focuses on them. At least he has this, Loki reminds himself. At least he has the Soulmates that in time, may be able to accept him and care for him, even if it is not love. 

"I'm going to be as quick as I can. But- If something happens all you need to do is tell JARVIS or FRIDAY and I- I'll think of something. I'll come back." Tony's anxiety is on full display. 

Loki does not fault him for it. Even he feels it. Even without the years of love that has been built up, even Loki feels the nightmares and the fear that this may all have been a dream and that Stephen  _ has _ been lost to them. He can only imagine how much more the man might fear the same. 

"You needn't fear for him, Anthony. I swear to you, I will care for him and protect him." Loki says as he moves onto the bed and this time, he does climb on. He does move until he can reach out and touch Tony's hand covering Stephen's heart. 

The genius doesn't react to his touch in any other way than to look into his eyes and nod slowly. 

"Thank you." Tony says and Loki feels his heart warm despite the void or perhaps in spite of the void. Together, slowly, they take their shoes off and climb onto the bed properly.

They arrange themselves so that they can curl up together. This is the first time that Loki has been... actively involved in this process. He has always woken up with them in his bed, curled up together or curled up around him, their limbs tangled. 

Loki doesn't know what he is permitted to do and what he should not do. Tony pulls Stephen into his arms and spoons him whilst Loki lays down next to Tony, reluctant to touch without permission.

"It's going to be alright you know. Stephen's looking into ways of fixing this and it's- It's going to be alright." Tony tells him softly and as he does, the genius's warm hand reaches out and grasps Loki's cold one. 

With no hesitation, Tony brings Loki's arm around himself and pulls him in close. It feels like- It feels like walking from the cold winter's night into the warmth of the hearth fire. Loki can't resist. He can't pull back. 

He sinks in against that warmth of Tony's body, grateful as the genius arranges them. Their joined hands rest over Stephen's heart as the sorcerer sleeps, his body and mind fevered. 

"Thank you." Loki isn't quite sure what he is thanking the man for, but he hopes that the full extent of his gratitude is passed on as Tony nods and relaxes. 

Curled together holding his Soulmate in his arms and with the other's heart beating under his hand, it is all too easy to close his eyes. His breathing eases as does the constant pain that had been plaguing him. 

The void fades in their warmth. 

It is but temporary, but at least for the night, Loki knows that the nightmares won't come. That he will be able to sleep and rest and that their souls will heal. Slowly but surely. 

As Loki lets go of his consciousness, he cannot help but think that he does not regret it. That he  _ cannot _ regret it. 

Despite the void, the pain and the sorrow that fills his heart, he cannot and he will not ever regret his decision. Giving up the essence of his being to save Stephen. Giving up the Seidr he had been born with. The Seidr that had allowed him to do so much that he can no longer do. 

It's- It's worth it, he thinks. 

This warmth is worth  _ any _ sacrifice. 

~~~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters have been and might continue to feel a bit repetitive and the progress of the boys and their psychology might feel slow and frustrating. That is on purpose. 
> 
> As someone who suffers from chronic pain and depression and having recently gone through an understanding of oh wait, I can't drive, I can't have children and no I can't get off these meds for the rest of my life, let's just say that I've had a bit of an up and down cycle with my mental health. 
> 
> It doesn't help that I have had depressive incidents and worked a job that let me see parts of society that most people don't see and experience things that most people don't see and it hasn't all been rainbows and sunshines. I don't regret any of my life decisions or my job, but hey shit happens. 
> 
> So, with that in mind, I wanted to write AVO to reflect reality and explore just how our big superheros would be like and what their minds would be like as they journey through the plotline of the MCU and see if with the right love and support from lovers, friends and family, they can deal with their problems and become better for them. 
> 
> Hence the title, Amor Vincit Omnia (Love Conquers All). 
> 
> As such, Stephen IS traumatised by his experience with Loki. And yes, he has gotten much better, but the fear lingers and the anxiety lingers and yes, he finds being around Loki difficult because the flashbacks are always at the back of his mind. 
> 
> Yes, Loki is broken and his mind is shattered and fractured and he is barely holding himself together because he has spent a year being tortured, having his mind broken and he was forced to act in a way that is not his own will. He'd also found out that he had lived a thousand years of a lie. He's had a lover killed, he lost custody of his daughter (basically) and he'd found out that the soulmates that he had hoped would finally accept him are in love with each other and as a decent god (!?) he can't stomp his feet and demand like a child that they DO love him regardless. On top of that, he has sacrificed his magic, a part of something that makes him who he is. 
> 
> Tony has had formative years living with an alcoholic, emotionally and physically abusive father, his genius makes him feel isolated and un-understood by those around him and he has been cheated on and used by those that have claimed to love him. He has also experienced an alien invasion, which has turned the fundamental beliefs he had about life and the world on it's head (one of the criterias for PTSD) and he had thought that he killed Stephen. Then Stephen had been kidnapped. 
> 
> That's just the boys. 
> 
> Thor, Jane, Pepper, Clea and Bruce all have their own problems. Might not be as severe as what the boys have experienced and what they are going through, but it isn't easy watching loved ones suffer. Carer's for Mentally or Physically ill people do suffer trauma and mental health issues of their own quite often. 
> 
> I want the characters in AVO to reflect some of the psychological effects of what they have experienced and what the mind goes through as they experience trauma and try to deal with it all. There are moments of quiet, and a belief that it might be okay before they fall back down. 
> 
> There will be days and months before someone can admit that yeah, you know what? There is a problem. Then due to the emotional state, they might spend days yet again trying to figure out what the fuck they should be doing about it. So if the statements the boys make about being broken seems repetitive, that's why. 
> 
> But eventually, breakthroughs do come through and do happen. Sometimes, that can be the path to healing. Sometimes, you fall back down and you get back up and you push forward again. Sometimes, you don't. 
> 
> The boys' journeys through their mental health issues and the way that they navigate through everything might not be completely realistic. Obviously, I'm not a psychologist. I am just someone that has experienced some of this and wanted to show what it was like inside of my head when I went through experiences like this. 
> 
> This might not be reflective of your journey. It might not make much sense to those that have never experienced mental health problems or grief or trauma. But I do want to show the big brave heroes of the MCU as human as possible and the way I see it, if they were human, they were going to be suffering like the rest of us when they experience the shit that they do. 
> 
> So. 
> 
> Sorry for the long spill but I did want to lay out my rationale and I know not all of you will even read up to this point, but I do want to say thank you for reading and I hope that this helps to make some of the angst in the story make sense. (somewhat) 
> 
> Now, whether I succeed in actually being able to depict what I am trying ot do... is another question altogether. 
> 
> At least... those are my goals. 
> 
> Thank you. 
> 
> <3


	21. The Pleas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has to leave for Japan and Stephen has to stay. The concern and worry that Tony has for Stephen and his welfare whilst he is away makes it difficult for him to leave. 
> 
> But at the same time, Tony isn't the only one that is becoming desperate and worried. 
> 
> Something is so, so very wrong with Stephen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> ... I kinda lost track of the days. I had a bad day at work on Friday. I am generally okay dealing with people. But when an interaction goes bad, I get anxious and worried and I obsess over that interaction even though logically, there is nothing that I could have done to change it because some people are just going to be nasty. But my brain or rather emotions don't listen to logic, so I was feeling... not good. 
> 
> So I spent the weekend feeling upset and sorry for myself and I guess that's kinda what's still going on in my head but I did remember that I needed to post. 
> 
> So here I am! Posting quickly before work. 
> 
> I will be replying to the comments later. I am so sorry for that. I usually am better at keeping on top of everything but I guess after almost 5 months I was due for a spiral or two. *sigh* 
> 
> I will try to keep myself on top of the writing and the posting whilst my brain works through what it wants to work through and lets up. 
> 
> My sincerest apologies and thank you for the wonderful comments. I have read them and I look forward to more. 
> 
> Thank you. 
> 
> <3

**Thursday **

**9 June 2011 **

Something. Is. Wrong. 

That sense of wrongness that Stephen has woken up  with. The  sense that something is not quite right that has been plaguing him does not go away. In fact, it grows and grows within him as the magic begins to return to him. 

It's as if as he recovers, as his magic recovers, that sense of something being wrong is being internalised and it is growing inside of him until it feels like there is a guillotine hanging over his head and that sense of dread is- It feels like- 

_ Something _ is building inside of him. 

And Stephen doesn't know what it is. Magic that should feel as familiar as his own hands  feels  odd and distant and it burns  hotter and brighter than it had ever done before and Stephen doesn't know how to control it. 

Something isn't just  wrong in  the distant, unknowable something. Something is wrong with  _ him _ . Something is- Oh Gods. 

He feels is through the spikes in his body temperature. His body burns with fevers. Magic pulses and pulsates and courses through him in ways that it had never done before. 

It feels wrong. Something feels wrong. 

Stephen feels like he is about to go out of control. To lose that fine control he has worked on for decades to get to where he is now. He  _ feels _ wrong. 

It feels like the magic is trying to crawl out of his skin and it doesn't matter if he meditates or uses the Connections to focus himself. He feels like he is about to burst and- 

Stephen takes a deep breath. 

He forces calm onto his expression and into himself. Tony needs him to be calm. Tony needs him to be well enough so that he can feel free to leave and go to Japan and handle the mess that has happened over there. 

Tony has explained what has happened. His voice had been filled with anger and outrage and betrayal. Tony's anger, any other day might have burned brightly and might have needed intervention. 

But right now, it is tempered by Stephen and his condition and Tony's worries and anxieties and fears. 

Tony too knows that something is wrong. 

Tony doesn't want to go. That much is obvious. But he will. Because regardless of what some people may say, Tony Stark is a responsible man and he cares for his company, his employees and the project. 

The Arc Reactor project is important to Tony. It's one of many paths he has embarked on to give the world a better future and he will not let it falter here and now. 

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?" Tony asks him for the umpteenth time as he exits the bathroom. 

He isn't dressed yet. Given the 14 hour time difference, Tony has decided to delay his departure a little. Besides, there was work being done to make sure that Tony and Pepper's arrival in Japan would be quiet. 

Tony has agreed to make use of the D'Arte Hotel in Tokyo and better yet, the Penthouse Suite. Tony was also taking a suit with him in the form of a suitcase. Which goes some ways to put Stephen's mind at ease.

Even simple magic that he should be able to perform with ease now feels like a struggle. The idea of opening a portal sends shivers down his spine. It's not that he lacks the magic. 

It is that he has too much of it. 

Between the fever and that sense of wrongness that plagues him, Stephen will admit that he hadn't been paying as much attention as an attentive lover should to the concerns and fears that Tony had voiced. 

He can't focus. He can't concentrate. He feels like he is adrift and he doesn't- 

But he does put a smile on his face and nods to Tony as the genius comes to sit on the side of the bed. Underneath the calm facade he puts on, there is pure panic that he tries to hide. 

"If you need to you can-" Tony starts and Stephen can't help it. The Connection hums with the love and concern Tony has for him and it grounding. It is all that Stephen has to focus him and to anchor him. 

He smiles and reaches out a hand towards Tony. His scarred and trembling hand is quickly caught by Tony's. The genius smiles helplessly and holds that hand gently as he reaches out to kiss the back of it. 

Tony's lips and his hand feels cool against his fevered skin and he burns. The need that is always there, the need to be filled or to fill Tony and to have the close physical connection that the Bond all but demands rises. 

"Anthony, I need you." Stephen says simply. 

He does. Given that they will have to be separated for at least a few days, the physical intimacy will help to settle the Bond between them and make sure that Stephen at least has that to hold onto. 

He will still have Loki in the Tower, but if he is being honest, he is not sure whether or not he will be able to make himself go down to Loki's bedroom or be able to allow Loki to climb into bed with him. It's- Stephen gives Tony a helpless smile. 

He needs Tony. He needs grounding. He needs an anchor to hold onto. 

Something is so, so very wrong. 

"Are you sure? You're burning up, baby." Tony's voice is soft and worried. Stephen gives him a smile and nods. It doesn't matter. He needs Tony like he needs the air he breathes. 

"Yes. Please. I- I want you Anthony. I  _ need _ you." Stephen all but begs. The fever that burns inside of him only increases the lust and the need until he is burning with it. 

He wants- he  _ needs _ to feel Tony inside of him. He needs to taste Tony's lips. He needs to feel Tony's hands over his body. He  _ needs _ this. 

It's not just the Connection or the Bond. 

It is Stephen himself that wants and needs Tony Stark. It's that love that fills him and makes him crave and want and need. It's- Stephen  _ burns _ . 

"Okay. But you need to tell me if it's too much. Alright?" Tony asks him, his voice gentle and kind even as the huskiness betrays his own arousal. Stephen nods and smiles and pulls Tony closer to himself. 

He doesn't have a great deal of strength, but Tony comes anyway. He kicks off his slippers and climbs onto the bed and with a swift movement, strips Stephen of the sheets that had been covering him. 

"Alright Cloaky, either go and play with the others, or make yourself useful." Tony says and Stephen quirks an eyebrow at that. Tony has accepted the Cloak's constant presence incredibly well and from what Tony has told him, the Cloak has also taken well to the bots during the short time that the Cloak and Tony had been away from Stephen. 

The Cloak of Levitation is wrapped around him in the form of a cardigan as it usually does these days and Stephen expects it to fly away. To go down to the lab to play with the bots it appears to be quite fond of. 

It doesn't. 

As Tony says that, the Cloak does move, but not in the way that Stephen expected. It lifts Stephen up from the bed a little and supporting him perfectly, floats him so that Tony can kiss him and hold him and insert himself between Stephen's legs. 

"Oh. Well then. This has some  _ serious _ potential." Tony's voice is filled with delight and that sends a spark of apprehension and excitement down Stephen's spine as Tony smirks. 

"Are you comfortable baby?" Tony asks him as he runs his hands up and down Stephen's inner thighs. The Cloak was holding him up so that he was almost sitting in the air, his legs spread so that Tony has all the access he could want and need. 

Stephen was only floating a little bit off the bed, but enough that Tony could easily get the leverage that he needs as well. 

Stephen can't help but wonder again about the history of the Cloak because by gods, it's not him that taught the Cloak this sort of thing. Still, Stephen nods as Tony's eyes dilate and fill with need and desire. 

"In that case, don't mind if I do.." Tony says as he rises up on his knees and moves until he is seated perfectly between Stephen's legs and kisses him. 

The Cloak's heat and warmth keeps Stephen feeling almost comfortable even without the blankets as Tony kisses him, holds him and caresses him. 

The arousal hits them hard and fast. 

It always does. Even when they take things slow, the arousal in itself comes fast and burns through them and Stephen has already been burning up with the fever. 

His skin feels sensitive. He feels that odd floaty sensation one usually gets when they have a high fever and the heat that sits in his stomach only raises that fever even higher. But that's fine. That's what Stephen wants right now. 

Stephen is almost lost in the sensations that Tony provides as he kisses and caresses Stephen. As he strips them both of their pants and underwear and exposes Stephen to the warm air in the room. 

All Stephen can do is wrap his arms around Tony's neck and hold on as the genius brings pleasure to his body, arousing him and raising that heat between them. 

Each kiss is filled with the heat that Stephen can't help but breathe out and Tony takes it all. Stephen's heat, his desperation, his desires and turns it into reality. 

The air feels almost cool and refreshing as it touches his bare cock and thighs, though Stephen knows that FRIDAY was keeping the Penthouse warmer than what must be comfortable for Tony. 

Even Tony's hand when he reaches out to touch Stephen's hardening cock feels cool and refreshing. The fever burning through him seems to almost infect Tony as he becomes flushed too. . 

For a split second, Stephen can't help but wonder what Loki's hands would feel like against his skin in a moment like this. Whether the cool Jotun skin would feel good. Whether- Shit. 

Stephen feels the guilt spike inside of him as he focuses back on the man making love to him now. Tony hasn't noticed but Stephen can't help but reach out and kiss Tony with the apology that he doesn't want to utter. Not now. 

Tony smiles against the kiss even as he reaches for Stephen's hole. The Cloak holds Stephen's legs up for him as Tony begins to open him up. 

His fingers are gentle and careful as he explores Stephen. Stephen can't help but moan and close his eyes as the sensations become almost too much already. 

With each breath, with each pant and moan that he lets out, magic threatens to explode from him, to be let out with each breath. Stephen holds onto the control and focus and the grounding that Tony is providing. He clamps down on himself and the magic. 

Something is wrong. 

It has to be for him to feel this out of control and- 

His body burns with need as Tony kisses his neck, his hands, his knees, his thighs as he pumps his fingers in and out of Stephen. Even his insides feel more sensitive than usual and Tony moans when Stephen tightens his hole around the thick fingers inside of him.

"God you feel so fucking hot inside Stephen." Tony all but moans out as he kisses Stephen's thigh and works the third finger into him. 

Stephen can barely concentrate on Tony's words as he moans and throws his head back. The Cloak even supports his head as he does so. 

When Tony's fingers start to brush against his prostate, Stephen shudders and moans and the pleas begin to fall from his lips unbidden. 

"Oh God, Tony please, I need- Please- God-" The words are incoherent but it doesn't matter. Tony understands him well enough. 

"Shh baby. I got you.  _ We _ got you." Tony says as he strokes the Cloak. If Stephen could have opened his eyes, he would have seen the wink that Tony gives, but as it is, he can't. 

When Tony does finally enter him and fill him, Stephen lets out a moan that is mixed in with a sob. It feels perfect. It feels amazing. It feels decadent and delicious. 

It is exactly what he  _ needs _ . 

It fills that deep seated need inside of him, especially when Tony fills him to the brim then reaches out to kiss him and to whisper words of affection to him as he wipes his tears away. 

The Bond between them all but _sings_ with pleasure.

"Hey baby?" Tony calls as Stephen adjusts to Tony's size. Even with the prep, even with the liberal amounts of lube, there is always a moment where the stretch feels like it might be too much. 

Tony pulses deep  in  him and it's a struggle for Stephen to open his eyes and focus on his lover. Magic thrums underneath his skin and it takes all of his bare bones control to stop it from exploding out of him. 

It wants to be let out. It wants to be freed and Stephen can't. He can't let the control go. Not when he doesn't know what it is that the magic is going to do. When he isn't in control. 

God, something is so very fucking wrong. 

"Whilst I'm away, I need you to go to him if you need to." Tony's words are soft and gentle and they are almost a plea but Stephen can't- his eyes open wide and for a moment, he forgets everything as he looks into those dilated caramel brown eyes. 

He can't be hearing this right. There has to be a mistake. Tony can't mean what Stephen thinks he means. He can't. They aren't- He isn't- 

"An-Anthony?" Stephen questions as Tony cradles his face and runs a thumb along Stephen's cheek. 

"I mean, if I can, I'll come back. But baby, if you need grounding, if you need focusing, if you need help, you  _ need _ to go to him. Please." Tony's voice is fierce, determined. There is also a plea there and Stephen doesn't- He- 

Stephen scrambles up so that he can look into Tony's eyes better and the Cloak moves him so that he can. 

"Why would- I don't-" Stephen doesn't know what to say. He doesn't want to. He doesn't know why Tony is saying these words to him. But he does and Stephen is confused and there is a bit of that hurt building inside of him that even he doesn't quite understand. 

They had already talked about this. Tony has already said that they would share Loki if it came down to that. But- But Stephen wasn't ready and he doesn't- He doesn't want Loki. He wants Tony and only Tony and- 

"I know. I know that you're scared and I know that you probably don't want to. But Stephen, I  _ need _ you to be alright. I  _ need _ you to be better and like I said, if that takes you having him, I'm okay with that. Okay?" Tony's words are sincere and so are his emotions. 

There is no jealousy. There is no anger. There is none of that begrudging acceptance that Stephen is used to seeing and feeling. 

Over time, Tony's attitude to Loki has changed, but this is more than just that. This is full acceptance and Stephen can't- He doesn't understand. 

No, that's not quite right. It's not full acceptance. Tony isn't pleased by the idea of Stephen going to Loki. But it's more than his need to make sure that Stephen is alright, that he is going to continue to be alright outweighs the other feelings that the genius is feeling. 

It's- Stephen gasps. 

"We need to talk more about this and we will. But for now, baby, I need to know that you're going to be alright whilst I'm not here and if that means you need to go to him, if that means that you need this with him, I'm okay with that. I want you to know that." Tony tells him softly and as he does, as if to emphasise his words, he kisses Stephen carefully and reverently and his hips move almost involuntarily.. 

Even that small movement spikes the pleasure through him and Stephen struggles to think. In a way, he understands it. Loki's sacrifice has probably gone a long way for him to earn Tony's trust and his forgiveness. 

That is a good thing. Loki deserved that. Had deserved that even before such sacrifices had been made. But for Tony to suggest that Stephen go to him, it's more than that. It's a suggestion of a fundamental change in their relationship and Stephen isn't sure if he understands just what Tony is thinking and planning. 

He's not even sure if Tony fully understands what he is suggesting. It's- They really ought to talk about this but Stephen's mind is swirling and he is almost dizzy with the fever that courses through him and the heady arousal isn't helping. 

"A-Are you sure?" Stephen can't help but ask as Tony shrugs his shoulders and pushes forward even further into him so that Tony can reach up and kiss Stephen's lips firmly, stealing the moan that Stephen can't help. 

"Yes. I'm sure. I'm not going to lie and say that I won't be jealous. Or that I'm going to be happy about it. But I need to know that you're not going to be hurting. So will you promise me? Please?" Tony almost begs him and it’s soft and gentle and his voice is so filled with that need and Stephen feels overwhelmed.

Tony’s concern and his love for him is even more overwhelming than the pleasure and the desire and even the fever. Stephen feels his eyes starting to become wet as he nods slowly. 

The slow movement of the hips, the burning pleasure that he is providing to both himself and Stephen along with the intimacy of the action and the emotions themselves are almost too much as Stephen wraps his arms around Tony’s neck and kisses him desperately. 

“Please.” Tony begs him again, no doubt wanting to hear Stephen promise. Tony’s desperation for that acceptance, that promise is- 

“I-I Promise.” Stephen whispers softly against Tony’s lips as the genius release a sigh of relief. 

“Thank you.” Tony whispers back and kisses him. For a long moment, they just kiss, holding each other as tightly as they can, reassuring themselves with each other’s presence and etching the moment into their memories. 

But eventually, their desires burn and so do their need. With the Cloak having moved Stephen, with the fact that he is almost floating above Tony's cock and reclining up enough that Tony can easily kiss him as he fucks up into Stephen's tight heat, it is all too easy to see the emotions swimming through Tony’s eyes.. 

And through those eyes Stephen can see, feel and hears the love that Tony is giving him. Understanding that, understanding that Tony was willing to be jealous, to be unhappy for the sake of ensuring that Stephen will be settled and grounded and focused and be as well as he could be- It's- Stephen feels  _ loved _ . 

Their eyes meet and there is no need to communicate any further. They understand each other. 

There is no need for Tony to hold Stephen up or to wrap his hands around Stephen's hips. The Cloak holds Stephen up steadily, giving Tony the leverage  and freedom with his hands and lips to kiss  and touch every part of Stephen that he can. 

Stephen notices and can't help but moan and cry out at the fact that Tony marks him everywhere that his lips can reach. Stephen's stomach, his chest, his neck, everywhere. Yes, Tony Stark may be willing to share Stephen with Loki, but not without staking his claim first, Stephen thinks with a fond smile. 

But the thought only lasts for a moment. 

As Tony's hips move faster and as the pleasure begins to build even further and the heat climbs inside of him, Stephen can't concentrate. His world narrows down to the cock moving in and out of him, the feel of Tony's lips and his hands. 

Stephen's eyes stutter closed and his head falls back. Moans and cries and even  as  sobs escape him non-stop, as does the magic that he can't control anymore. 

Something is wrong. 

Even as he loses himself to the pleasure, as he fills with both Tony's love and his cock, as his temperature rises to dizzying heights, Stephen can't help it. This feels right. This feels perfect. But he.  _ He _ feels wrong. 

The magic escapes his control. It flutters and flows and fills the air between them and around them with blue monarch butterflies and sparks. 

But Stephen doesn't even notice. He can't. 

Stephen loses himself and his control as pleasure and love overtakes  _ everything _ until he comes, hard, all over his stomach and his vision and his mind whitens out. 

He doesn't notice the way that the Cloak lowers him back to bed. Or the way that Tony cleans him up. The fever burns through him and with it, the exhaustion and the emotions carry Stephen into dreamless sleep. He doesn't even hear the soft whispered, loving words and kiss that Tony leaves behind. 

"I love you." 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**10 June 2011 **

Okay, so, that might have been a mistake. 

The whole, putting her hand up to come to Tokyo with Tony  and Pepper because she knew that they needed someone to help them but that Clea really wanted to stay home with Stephen, thing. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time. 

What with the fact that she was probably the least emotionally invested one aside from Bruce  in  the whole situation with Stephen and Loki and what with the fact that she really, really could use with some time outside of the Tower and that Japan is just awesome, it had seemed like a no brainer. 

It really seemed like a good idea and it was. It really was. Except... this chaos? The all but frantic zombies working their way through boxes and boxes of paperwork, groaning for coffee? 

Oh, that makes her regret  _ everything.  _

But then she should have known better. She should have known that this was basically what she was going to be dealing with. But then... she hadn't really seen Tony and Pepper or Alexander and Gina for that matter working their team into a frenzy and working themselves to the bone before either. 

It is a sight to fucking behold. 

Though Darcy's never worked in the corporate field, she'd always imagined that corporate people would be sitting at their desks with a drink in hand, ties loosened and heels off, working through paperwork. 

That's not what she got. 

Instead of that, what she has is a nightmare of paperwork strewn throughout the living room of the large Penthouse Suite of D'Arte Hotel Tokyo, cups of coffee and plates of snacks mixed in for good measure, tablets and phones in far too precarious locations and there is no end in sight with everyone dressed more like they were ready for a slumber party than a business meeting. 

It's the embodiment of chaos and she feels so fucking lost. 

The thing is, this scandal? This problem that got them to Japan? It's big. It's really,  _ really _ fucking big and the implications of it is overarching and overreaching and it is going to be shit at a whole new level. 

Which explains this chaos somewhat. 

She'd figured that it was something bad and something big when she'd first heard from Pepper during breakfast before they left. The writing had been on the wall the moment she mentioned that both she  _ and _ Tony would have to leave the Tower. 

Given that Tony didn't even show up for any of the meals and it was clear that he was reluctant to leave Stephen's side for even a second, yeah. She'd figured that it was bad and that it was big. 

But this? 

Oh holy shit, she hadn't banked on  _ this _ . She feels most distinctly useless for anything other than making sure that everyone eats, is hydrated between coffees and making sure everyone has the tablets , phones and the paperwork that they need and that all the electronics are charged. 

That's all she can do. 

But the thing is, regardless of how useless she feels, It feels important to be here. To be with Tony and Pepper and to try to do the little things to help. Not just because she's grateful that she has been able to find a home with them and the Tower, but because they needed the moral support if nothing else. 

Because, even now, as Tony reads over the paperwork as Pepper hands them to him and even as he gives directions and barks out orders like a general, his eyes are still flitting to the watch that he wears and the tablet that shows the image of Stephen. 

Because  Pepper  can't help but look worried and guilty. Because Gina looks so incredibly stressed that she is all but pulling out her hair and because Alexander is  gulping coffee down even though it's clear that it's no longer helping him. 

That's not even counting the rest of their team members that were frantically going through the large piles of papers to hand over what is pertinent to their team leaders. 

Darcy sighs. 

"Wait. Where  are  the bank records? I swear I saw this transaction before-" Tony mumbles as he struggles with the paperwork and Pepper hands him a fat stack of bank records. 

There are four copies of those floating around between the various teams working on the various sets of documents. 

Later, when they are semi done with them, Darcy will collate what is important into one coherent file, but for now, she lets them mark up all the different ones. 

Darcy waits for the coffee machine to finish doing  its  thing as she readies the cups and puts the right amounts of sugar and cool water into the mix along with the creams. None of them were patient enough to wait for their  coffee  to cool down right now. 

This was the last batch of coffee they were getting. Darcy was going to draw the line at everyone having consumed at least a pot of coffee each and she doesn't care if the work isn't finished, they were going to fuck to bed. 

They still have time. 

The official deadline for the contract to be finalised and signed with the Japanese Government is on Monday. 

It's Friday, yes, but it is early,  _ early _ Friday morning. 

Later tonight, they will get their hands on the rest of the documents that they need from Hirota Todashi's computer and that will form the final nail in his coffin. But for now, they have the years of Stark Industries Japan records, the suspicions from the Japanese authorities and the whistleblower's full report. 

This whole situation makes Darcy feel like she was watching a Japanese TV drama. It has everything from bribery, political favours, blackmail and literal plans by the man at the centre of it all to become a freaking kingmaker. 

One day, they were going to make a movie about Hirota Todashi, Darcy can bet her exhausted eyes on it. 

They were going to chronicle how he had entered Stark Industries as a junior salesman back in the Weapons Manufacturing days. They would talk about how he slowly rose up the ranks. 

As he did, he'd already been working the political connections that a job with Stark Industries could bring. He worked those connections with bribes of information and favourable contracts. 

It had started with something so minor as that. 

That had quickly turned into accepting bribes to open a factory for Stark Industries in a prefecture that worked well for the politician in question. Or to provide background discounts and deal with Stark Industries to politicians in exchange for favours. 

It had allowed Hirota Todashi to quietly but surely to wield significant power in the political world. Then Tony had declared the project that made everything come to fruition for him. 

The Clean Energy Initiative. 

The idea was simple. Stark Industries approached the governments of countries the company had dealings with in the past to see whether or not they would be interested in bringing the Arc Reactor Plants into their countries to phase out the fossil fuel driven power plants. 

The first country that had jumped on the bandwagon had been Japan and with their advanced technology as well as financial wealth, it had made sense. So the contract with Japan meant a  _ lot _ to Tony and to Stark Industries. 

But to Hirota Todashi, it had been an opportunity to expand his political power and to truly reap the seeds that he'd planted.

Instead of using the wonderful road map that outlined the best locations for the Arc Reactors based on efficiency and the least amount of loss to existing infrastructure, like what Tony wanted, Todashi had formed a different plan. 

For the location of the Arc Reactors to be where  the  politicians that filled his pockets, needed them to be. Based on the hunger for their political power and the reelection period coming up. 

Which is honestly, bullshit... but kinda brilliant. 

Added to that, because of course there was more dirt to be had, the man was knee deep in sex scandals to boot. Apparently the man liked to indulge on his vices as much as he liked to fill his pockets. 

So yeah, it's a big mess that involves prosecutions and the media attention and if they wanted to scrape through it with Stark Industries' reputation  intact , it was going to take a lot of fucking work. 

Which was why, she supposes, they are working their asses off and which is why Darcy wasn't forcing them to bed just yet. But she will. Not that she will need to if she cuts off the coffee. 

They are starting to drop as it is. 

"It's done, Darcy." Pepper's soft voice snaps her out of her thoughts. Oh, she thinks as she looks over at the coffee machine sitting patiently with  its  full pot. 

Shit. She'd been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed that it had finished. She supposes that she's just as tired as they are, she thinks as she nods and smiles a sheepish smile. 

"Shit. Sorry." She says but Pepper just gives her a smile and shakes her head. The bags under her eyes are obvious without the  makeup  and so is the stress. 

"Thank you." Pepper tells her as Darcy pours the coffees. There is a soft murmur of voices going about in the background. There has been for hours now as the group consults one and another as they work through the vast amounts of paperwork. 

"For what?" Darcy asks as she stirs the coffees and reminds herself of which one belongs to who. Everyone has their varied need for sugar and cream mixed into coffee. 

"For coming with us. For volunteering so that Clea  could  stay." Pepper says softly and there is true gratitude in her voice. Darcy shrugs her shoulders. 

"It made sense. But just so you know, after Monday, I want at least a day in Akihabara." Darcy tells her with a tongue in cheek expression and a wink. 

The surprised look on Pepper's face followed by a soft chuckle is exactly what Darcy had wanted. Pepper nods firmly. 

"God yes. When this is all over and done with, I'm tempted to take myself to Kyoto to visit a hot spring. We can all use some relaxation after this." Pepper looks more hopeful than certain. Darcy nods firmly. 

"You know what? When this is done and if we manage to get through this without your stock prices plummeting, let's celebrate. Get the gang over here and have a family vacation." Darcy suggests. 

It's only when Pepper blinks that she realises what she had said. Shit. Darcy didn't have much of a brain to mouth filter as it is, but it's even worse when she's tired. 

The thing is, Darcy hasn't really had a proper family. She feels like she has always been alone trying to survive and at the Tower, with Jane and the others, it had felt like she finally had that. A family. A place to call home. 

Which is weird. Right? 

They've only known each other for a month or so, but Jane had been family for awhile and Darcy isn't sure how and why but it felt like- shit. 

"Family vacation? That sounds wonderful. Yes, we should definitely do that. I'll get FRIDAY to look into some good traditional inns in Kyoto and see if we can get ourselves booked in. It won't take much to organise for the others to travel here, though I'm not sure how Loki and Thor's visa would work out since they don't even have a passport." Pepper says with excitement and it's Darcy's turn to blink. 

She had thought that Pepper would find it ridiculous that Darcy considered her to be family when just a month  and a half ago, she had been a complete stranger. But there is no such judgement or surprise in Pepper's eyes. 

"We'll- We can think about that later. For now, here's your coffee. Remember, that's the last one you're getting." Darcy tells her with a voice that feels a lot thicker than it should. 

It's- family, she thinks. She can't believe that she said that out aloud for one and she's shocked that Pepper just accepted that statement as if it was nothing. It's- well. Shit. 

"Seriously, Darcy. Thank you for coming with us. I'm not sure what we would have done without you." Pepper tells her warmly and Darcy feels that lump in her throat that feels all too much almost before she clears her throat and shrugs her shoulders. 

"It's what family is meant to do right? Be there and support each other? Make sure that you're fed and watered and caffeinated?" Darcy hopes her tone is light enough to hide the depth of emotions going through her. Pepper chuckles softly as she nods. 

"Yep definitely." Pepper tells her easily as she takes her coffee and Tony's and picks her way through the paper and technological minefield that has become the living room. 

Darcy stands there for a moment longer, just thinking before she takes a deep breath and moves too. 

When she'd signed up with Jane, she hadn't realised that she would be falling in love. She hadn't realised that she would become involved with alien gods or shady government agencies. Or Stark Industries. 

But she has and through them, apparently, she's managed to find the one thing that she'd always wanted more than anything else. 

A home. 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**10 June 2011 **

"You need to help him." 

The plea in Clea's voice is a surprise, as is her presence at his door. It is not what he had expected to hear when he had heard Clea Strange knocking on his door. 

Actually, Loki isn't sure what he expected her to say, since he had never expected her to turn up at his door to begin with. But it wasn't that. 

There is no preamble. She does not ask to be invited in. There is no greeting, just the words. Her voice is quiet enough that they both know that the security personnel on either side of the corridor couldn't hear them, but as calm as she appears to be, there is panic, fear and desperation in her eyes. 

If he retained the Seidr that he has lost, Loki wonders if he could have felt her magic rising up as her eyes flash with that desperation and fear. He will never know now. 

He opens the door wider and invites her in. 

It is in a rare moment that she has chosen to come, Loki thinks. When Thor was not by his side but by Jane's side, no doubt receiving the comfort that he needs after the latest breakdown Loki has gone through and Thor has experienced. 

Loki will admit, he feels grateful to and loved by his brother in a way he hasn't felt for centuries. There is also guilt deep inside of him for being unable to express that gratitude. Not now when he is- When he can't even breathe for the void that threatens to drown him even now. 

As it is, even as Loki opens the door wider for her to come into the apartment, he is uncertain as to whether this is a good idea. 

The darkness in his mind and his heart lingers and waits and he can never be certain when the little bit of peace and calm that he has managed to pull into himself will fall apart and with it, himself. 

Still, he owes Clea Strange this life that he has been left to live and more importantly, she is family. She comes in and he gestures towards the living room. 

But unlike him, she does not seem to be able to sit as she paces the floor between him and the windows and the sight he has spent far too many hours observing. 

For a long moment, there is silence. 

Loki finds it hard to concentrate these days. His thoughts flit between the void and the darkness and the things that he has lost and the sorrow and guilt that lingers inside of him to the Soulmates that he can no longer feel. 

Tony isn't at the Tower and Stephen- Stephen has not allowed him to spend the night with him. That has not been a surprise of course. He had cautiously asked, because he knew that they both needed the physical contract to ground them but the answer had been a quiet declination. 

Which is both expected and... fine. Loki might not be able to feel it now, but he has felt enough of Stephen's fears to know that it would have been strained and difficult even  _ if _ the sorcerer had agreed to allow Loki into his bedchambers. 

Not to mention, Loki isn't even sure whether or not they  _ could _ even have found some peace and grounding without their third with them. Not for the first time, Loki wishes that he had the counsel  and wisdom of his mother. She would know. She would have the answers that he doesn't have. 

"How does he fare?" Loki cannot help but ask. 

It feels alien and ridiculous that he would have to ask a third party about the well being of his own Soulmate, but such is the situation that he faces. Clea turns around and looks at him and her eyes say everything that needs to be said. 

Not well, they say. 

She is afraid. There is desperation and fear and helplessness in her eyes and in her voice when she does finally speak. 

"He's- He's burning up and he's losing control and I don't- we don't know why or how. We don't know how to help him Loki." She says and there is a plea in her voice. 

A hope. 

One that will be shattered rapidly, he wagers as he takes a deep breath. It's hard to think past the void, but Loki tries. Not because Clea is asking him to, but because his Soulmate needs him to. 

He thinks of all the incidents of blood magic that he has heard of. He thinks back to all of the ways magic has been drained and returned. He thinks back to all of the times he had heard stories of great and powerful magic users almost losing their lives. 

But even as he  scours  his brain and tries to think, all that he can think about is the void  and emptiness and that sense of being incomplete. He shakes his head, to himself  rather  than towards her even as he takes a deep shuddering breath and tries to stop himself from falling headlong into that despair that threatens to engulf him once again. 

It has become a familiar cycle , this. This fighting and straining against the void  and emptiness only to be overtaken by it. Then to come rushing out as he is able to take a breath and find the modicum of calm and comfort through Thor or the odd floating sense of calmness he presumes he gets from Stephen. 

But he has just moments of that before he floats again and the call comes again from the Void as it threatens to swallow him whole again and again and its- 

Loki takes a deep breath. 

"I know not what plagues Stephen. I do not know how to help him." Loki says quietly, breaking the silence and shattering that fragile hope. 

He sees Clea's shoulders slump and he feels the helplessness that threatens to overwhelm him. 

"Go to him. Maybe the physical connection will help? I just- He's losing control Loki. There- There has to be something you can do." The plea burns through him as does that helplessness that they share. 

"I- I cannot. He-" Loki can't say it. He can't admit that his Soulmate fears him and  that  his presence will only cause his Soulmate harm and distress. It is- The shame burns along with the guilt and the darkness looms over him, pulling him towards the void. 

Give in, IT whispers in his mind. Just give into it. Let the darkness take you. You won't feel anything in the void. There won't be pain there. You can just let go. Stop feeling. Stop thinking. Just let go. Do it, do it, do it! IT screams in his head. 

"Loki?" Clea's voice is distant and he can't- Loki loses himself to the darkness. 

It's hard to breathe. 

The void beckons with that allure of emptiness. The desire to leave everything behind, to stop feeling the pain  and helplessness and to just give into the darkness is overwhelming. 

IT whispers promises and Loki- He- 

Loki wants to let go. 

He wants to stop feeling the pain. he wants to stop feeling that emptiness that plagues him. He just wants everything to just- 

Warmth surrounds him. 

Loki snaps out of the spiralling darkness, the feelings and thoughts that cause him pain as he feels himself being held, warmly by arms that aren't familiar. By a presence that isn't familiar. 

But it is grounding. It is focusing. 

"Oh dear Vishanti, I'm so sorry Loki. I- I'm so sorry." Clea repeats over and over again as her small hand cards through his hair and her small harms hold him as tightly as she can. 

It is only then that Loki realises that Clea had moved away from the window. That she had curled herself up into his arms and that she was crying tears that he can no longer shed as she holds him and supports him. 

Loki doesn't know what to say. He opens his lips, but no words come out as Clea Strange, the one that has grounded him and kept his soul contained in his body, the one that had come to him and helped him and saved him rather than going to Stephen, her family and her master, holds him even now, grounding him and saving him from the darkness. 

She whispers apologies, thank yous and comforts to him as she holds him and cries for the pain that he feels. That she feels through him and for him. 

There are no words of gratitude that he can utter to express just how much he needed this warmth. This comfort. She is not the one that he needs. They both know that, but her comfort is better than nothing. 

Even as he accepts her warmth and the comfort that she brings him, the guilt lingers inside of him. A small voice asks whether or not she would be here, offering this comfort to him if she knew just what it is that he has done to Stephen. 

Still, he can't help but cling to her and let her hold him to the thin sliver of sanity he has left. Even if the guilt burns through him and even if helplessness and hopelessness clings to both of them. 

The void gapes and calls but for now, with the comfort that Clea offers, Loki can push it aside. 

No, he tells IT. Not now.

Not... yet. 

~~~ 


	22. Help Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony deals with the problems in Japan whilst Stephen and Loki deal with the problems of... well... them. 
> 
> Help is something that they all need, but more often than not, it's not easy reaching out to ask for that help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> First of all, I'm going to say that I am very, very sorry that this update is late. I am also going to apologise for the fact that the next update won't be until Monday my time.
> 
> It's mostly because unfortunately, my mental health has hit bit of a snag. I've been doing well for the past 8 months or so. I was able to keep myself distracted sufficiently and keep the black dog at bay but a few bad days at work and the dog has caught me. It's... not the worst that it had been but I am finding it difficult to get out of bed and to do the everyday things. 
> 
> Unfortunately, I can't tell you right now how long it's going to take for me to get through this particular session with my depression. All I can say is that I am doing what I can to try to deal with it, by keeping myself distracted and at times... just letting myself feel the emotions that are building up inside of me. 
> 
> Either way, the boys are reaching the light at the end of their tunnel so I hope that you will enjoy this chapter and the coming chapters as the fluff starts and the plot builds towards IM3. Not sure if I can finish ARC 4 in 36 chapters this time but I will see what happens. 
> 
> For now, please enjoy and keep the comments etc coming to help cheer me up. 
> 
> Thank you for your continued support of AVO and myself. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Friday **

**10 June 2011**

Their laughter echoes through the empty hallways. 

"Just a minute sweetheart, I just need to grab some paperwork and I'll be right with you." He says with a wink and blows the scantily dressed woman a kiss as he walks backwards into his office and closes the door. 

Oh, it has been a bloody good night. One that he hopes  will only get better with the woman waiting outside for him. His belly is filled with the decadent food he'd consumed and there is expensive alcohol flowing through his veins. 

He laughs softly to himself. 

Gods, it was almost too easy, he thinks. All it had taken  was  a hint, a word dropped here and there and the wallets have opened up to him as the bribes had poured in. 

Small game, Obadiah had called it, but he'd been wrong. Slowly, but surely, Todashi had worked his way  up the chain of command of Stark Industries to be the Head of Stark Industries Japan and also to gain access to the large, generous pockets of  those  politicians desperate to raise their profiles. 

Yes, well, Obadiah was right on one front. The bribes weren't as profitable as black market dealings but it was also safer. His offshore accounts were slowly but surely filling up with money and he hasn't even had to leave the comforts of Tokyo, not to mention the political power he's amassed. 

It may just be in Japan, but he was becoming well and truly  _ powerful _ . 

With a light chuckle, Hirota Todashi turns around. But as he does, he stops dead in his tracks, the laughter disappearing from his throat. 

"M-Mr Stark!" It's almost an undignified gasp that escapes his lips, but Todashi can't help it. 

Tony fucking Stark wasn't meant to be here. 

The deal was meant to be signed with Pepper Potts and she wasn't due to arrive until Sunday evening to finalise the contract before the signing on Monday morning. 

This isn't- 

Breathe, he tells himself. It might be nothing. Tony Stark was known for being unpredictable. There was no chance that he can  know what it is that Todashi has been up to. 

He has been  discreet  and so very, very careful. 

But he can't help his nerves. A flash of adrenaline goes through his body and with it, his heart begins to race and he feels the thin layer of sweat beginning to coat his face and his hands. 

It isn't helped by the fact that he can see the Iron Man suit folded into a suitcase by the  mans  feet as he stands, his back to Todashi and the Arc Reactor shining all too brightly from his chest, reflecting against the floor to ceiling windows. 

"Aya, lights." Todashi calls out to the rudimentary Artificial Intelligence system that has been rigged into his office. She doesn't respond. 

"Aya is currently unavailable, Mr Todashi. Please also note that Ms Megumi Takahashi, your... companion for the evening has been escorted out of the building and will be driven to her destination of choice." Instead of Aya's polite tones, Todashi hears the voice he's only heard a few times before. 

JARVIS. 

Tony Stark's personal Artificial Intelligence system. One that is rumoured to have truly achieved self awareness and self learning. True sentience. His voice comes from the speakers that Aya's voice ought to be coming from. 

Todashi clenches his fists. 

The adrenaline pumping to his legs tells him to run. But that is not the type of action men like him take. Running is for cowards and Hirota Todashi was no coward. More importantly, he doubts that he would get far. 

The silence is tense. Todashi realises with a start that Tony Stark hasn't turned around once to face him, nor has he even spoken. 

"Ah, good evening Mr Stark. I had not realised that you would be honouring us with your presence. Had I known, I would have made preparations." Todashi manages to say. His voice even sounds half steady as he takes a few steps forward in the dark office. 

The only light sources are from the outside of the windows,  where Tokyo's night is just beginning and the Arc Reactor on Tony  Stark's  chest. 

Between the Arc Reactor and the way that it reflects the light and the height of the Stark Industries building, Todashi can see the outline of Tony Stark's face and his clothes. 

As always, the man is dressed in those ridiculously expensive,  handmade  and perfectly tailored Italian suits that Todashi has only recently been able to afford to fill his wardrobes with. 

It's a dark blue one, but in the stereotypical Tony Stark fashion, he isn't wearing a business shirt or a tie. Instead, he wore a t-shirt and it is through that thin material that the Arc Reactor shone through. On his feet, he wore what looked to be Converses.

Typical entitled American hipster, Todashi can't help but think with some disgust. 

"Do you know what it feels like to drown Todashi?" Tony's voice when it does come is almost casual. It's deceptive. He doesn't trust it. 

But years of answering to the man and years of business ethic drilled into him makes it all too easy for him to respond despite how startled he feels. 

"No, Mr Stark." The sense of dread clenches his heart. 

"It's an odd feeling. Lungs fill with water instead of air and there's this clawing desperation inside of you that makes you panic and try to breathe more and more, even though you know that all you're doing is gulping in more of that water." Tony says. 

He can't know. He  _ can't. _

"But you don't need water to drown. If you fly  high enough , even without leaving the Earth's atmosphere, the air can become so thin that you can't breathe. The pressure difference is so great that the very air in your lungs expand." Todashi doesn't understand. 

Tony's tone remains casual. He remains facing the window, looking out into the night Tokyo instead of looking at him. Where was the genius going with this? 

The couple of interactions that he has had face to face with Tony Stark hadn't been like this. The man had been affable, all smiles and laughs, jokes and at the very most, bored. There has been none of this odd tension, this odd stifling charisma. This... terror. 

"Mr Stark, I don't-" understand, he tries to say. Tony cuts him off. 

"Adrenaline kicks in during all of those moments. Well, they usually kick in well before you get to those points of course. But adrenaline kicks in and that instinct deep inside of us, that survival instinct? That kicks in." Tony Stark's voice isn't loud. 

It is barely loud enough to break through the silence in the room but it feels like the words are echoing through the empty, dark office. Todashi feels a chill go down his spine as Tony Stark turns around to face him. 

"So, what  are  your  instincts  telling you to do?" Tony asks. 

This isn't Tony Stark, Todashi thinks. It can't be. 

The Tony Stark he knew was a brilliant inventor, to be fair, but immature, invested in his toys and his fun and his image. He's the one that slept with men and women alike and indulged in all the luxuries that life offered him. The one with the smirks, the smiles and the pouts. Not- 

His knees give out. 

Tony doesn't move from where he stands. His brown eyes, lit by the Arc Reactor's eerie light is sharp. It is cold. Filled with rage. It is... predatory. 

"Ah. The deer in headlights response then, I see. That's what we idiots over in America call it. When you can't decide between fight and flight and so, you freeze. Not exactly what I would have expected from you, Todashi." Tony says almost casually as he walks over from the window, past the ornate mahogany desk and moves to lean against the front of it, perching as he crosses his arms. 

Tony's arms block the light of the Arc Reactor. It makes it impossible to see the man's expression clearly, even this close. Todashi looks up at him, fear thrumming through his blood as sweat drips down his back. 

"Mr Stark I-" He tries to say. He has to say something. He has to do  _ something _ . Even if it means he has to beg, then so be it. He has to- Tony Stark is going to kill him. Just like Obadiah Stane. 

And when that happens, the world wasn't ever going to learn the truth about him. Tony Stark is too powerful. He is the hero of the Invasion of New York. The world doesn't know this side of Tony Stark. Just as he hadn't. 

"I'm not exactly interested in your excuses. Or your lies. Funny fact, I recently became acquainted with the God of Lies. A Norse God, of course and if we are being exacting about it, he's more an alien than a god, but given that their life expectancy is over five thousand years, I'm not going to argue semantics with him." Tony continues as if it is a casual conversation. 

As if Todashi hadn't fallen on his knees and did not have the strength to get back up. As if Tony Stark wasn't standing over him, his eyes cold and deadly. As if Todashi's life wasn't under threat. 

"It turned out that we had a lot in common. Between his blond haired, blue eyed God of Thunder, heir to the Throne and with the reputation for being the God of Mischief, Loki is underestimated a lot and apparently, it turns out, so am I." Tony shrugs his shoulders and Todashi swallows hard. 

His thoughts race. How had he not seen this monster lurking behind the smiles? How had he not seen this predator, this danger? He is right, Todashi thinks bitterly. He  _ has _ underestimated Tony Stark. Gravely. 

And now, he was going to pay the price for it. 

"A-Are you going to kill me?" Todashi manages to ask. This time, Tony doesn't interrupt him. He perches there, at the end of Todashi's desk, arms crossed and looking down at him with those predator's eyes. 

"Like I killed Obadiah Stane? You mean?" Tony Stark asks as if it is nothing. As if he was discussing a pleasant meal. A meeting. His heart feels as if it is about to burst out of his chest. 

"Mr Stark, you- I can give you the money. It's all-" Tony raises an eyebrow. 

"In your offshore bank account in the Bahamas. I am well aware. In fact, J? We done?" Tony asks as he straightens. He slips his hands into his pockets as he stands up. 

"Yes sir, all records of the bribes received, the politicians involved in the matter as well as Mr Todashi's personal finances and the finances of Stark Industries Japan has been catalogued and analysed." JARVIS's artificial voice states. 

"Oh good. And the package?" Tony asks, his voice almost warm now as he interacts with his AI. Todashi wonders if he has been spared. Or if this is merely a tactic for him to lower his guard. 

"Delivered to the Japanese Authorities Sir. Including the footage from the meeting Mr Todashi has conducted tonight." JARVIS states. 

"Fantastic. Good job J and you too FRIDAY, you little shit listening in." Tony smiles and it's a pleasant smile. It's a fond smile. 

Todashi can't help but look up at him, bewildered and terrified in turn. 

"No worries Boss!" A female voice interjects. 

The wait is- It is unbearable. This wait, this drawn out sentencing. This tension. His heart beats faster and faster and it is so difficult to breathe as he tries not to interrupt. This purgatory too is Tony Stark's making and no doubt design. 

"Sir, Ms Lewis and Ms Potts are wondering when you would be joining them." JARVIS cuts in smoothly and Tony Stark looks down at his watch as if Todashi isn't even there. As if he doesn't even matter. 

Bitterness fills his mouth as he realises that to Tony Stark, to a man like him with his power, with his intelligence and with his wealth, Todashi  _ doesn't _ matter. 

"Well, in that case, J, you handle the rest." Tony Stark says and without a glance, without a word, he picks up his Iron Man suit in the form of a suitcase and walks out of the office. 

His life has been spared. 

In the silence that remains, Todashi lets out the breath that he'd been holding. But the relief doesn't last long as the AI begins to speak.  Its  voice cold and as terrifying as Tony Stark had been. 

It is only then that Todashi realises that Tony Stark has never answered his question. 

Fear grips his heart. 

~~~ 

**Saturday **

**11 June 2011 **

It should have felt triumphant. 

It doesn't.  There  is a dirty taste in his mouth and that sense of betrayal and that disgust doesn't go away. Neither does the anxiety and the fear that is a background hum at all times now. 

He wants to go home. 

He wants to be with Stephen. He wants to curl his body around the sorcerer and hold onto his warmth and bury himself in the comfort that he  _ knows _ Stephen will be able to give him. 

But he can't. 

Tony has responsibilities. He is the owner of Stark Industries and he has fucked it up. Despite the news, despite the way that Hirota Todashi and his 'business partners' have been arrested and  paraded  out in the media, the fact remains that Stark Industries was involved in all of it. 

The news media in Japan is almost kind about Tony and Pepper's involvement. They outline the work that Pepper and Tony had been doing in New York and how they weren't involved in the scandal. 

How as soon as they found out what was happening, they had done everything they  could  to intervene and to change  the  course of the incident. They outline how Tony and Pepper  were  instituting a full investigation into Stark Industries to ensure that no such incidents can ever happen again. 

Hirota Todashi's public announcement of his involvement, the press conference he has given before he announced his resignation from Stark Industries and surrendered himself to the Japanese Authorities had gone a long way. 

That and Gina's genius of course. God, she was a fucking goddess when it came to the media. And Alexander's handling of the prosecutors and the Japanese Authorities had been fantastic. 

It's thanks to them that Stark Industries has managed to scrape through without... too much reputation damage. 

Still. 

The bitter feeling remains and so does the distrust that is now within the Japanese Government. 

So, despite the fact that there is an Iron Man suit in his suite and despite the fact that all he had to do was ask Clea for a portal to be able to go home, to be able to be with Stephen, Tony can't. 

This is  _ his _ mess and  _ he _ needs to clean it up. 

The paperwork nightmare is done. They have all of the evidence they ever needed to put Todashi away for the bribery scandal and more. Todashi and his friends will go through that long, drawn out legal process but there is enough evidence that there won't be any problems keeping them behind bars. 

And between Alexander and his team along with Pepper and the whistleblower report, Tony has fixed up the plans for the Clean Energy Initiative. 

The Japanese government is still on board, though they are scrutinising the contract with a fine  tooth comb . Which is fine. Which is actually what needs to happen and is expected even. 

It's fine. 

But that also means meetings. Long , drawn out meetings to analyse the plan and make sure that it is all going according to plan. Meetings that Tony and Pepper  need  to be present for, along with Alexander and his team and their translators. 

So despite the fact that Tony is  _ dying _ to be at home.  _ Dying _ to hold Stephen and  _ dying _ to make sure that Stephen is okay, he can't. 

He has just a moment or two before the meeting starts. It's so tempting. He could just call Clea. She could organise a portal. He could just pop home and no one would be the wiser for it. 

But he knows better. He knows that once he  _ does _ go home, once he  _ does _ see Stephen, he won't want to leave. He will want to curl up with his lover and hold him and- No. 

That's a bad idea. 

So instead, Tony locks himself in the bathroom and brings out his tablet and JARVIS, bless him, already has images of Stephen up on the screen. 

And finally, Tony feels like he can breathe again. 

This little screen, the little image of Stephen that he can see through it is literally the only thing that was holding him together. 

Being able to see Stephen, curled up  on  the bed, at times talking to the others, at times, trying to move about. His vitals flashing constantly on Tony's watch and it had been the only thing that kept him going and sane. 

But he's not sure how long he can keep it up. 

Stephen's vitals show raised heart rates and spikes in temperature that  are  terrifying. Tony has to constantly remind himself that Bruce is at the Tower and that if something medical happens, Bruce will help. 

He needs to remind himself that Clea is watching over Stephen and if it's something magical, she will get Grimshaw or Wong or Yinn and it is going to be okay. 

That even if he was there, there isn't a lot that Tony can do. All he could have done is to hold Stephen and try to calm him through the fevers that plague his lover. 

But the thing is, Tony wants to be able to do that. Even if he can't make any actual differences by being there, he wants to be there. He wants to- 

Tony debates calling Stephen. To talk to him. To remind him of the promise that he'd been able to coax out of his lover before he left. 

Stephen hasn't gone to Loki. 

Loki hasn't come to Stephen either and Tony isn't sure whether or not that has made the situation worse or not. There is so much that Tony doesn't understand about magic and how it works and how it  affects  his lover. 

And it's frustrating. 

All he knows is that it's important. That it  _ has _ effects and that it has done the impossible and made sure that Stephen lived. Tony doesn't even understand the full implications of just what Loki has done. 

He can't. It's- He's grateful. He is so fucking grateful and it has changed a lot about what he thinks of the god over all, but he still doesn't fully understand it. 

Still. Stephen is alive. Tony was able to keep him. He has been able to keep Loki, in whatever capacity the god will play a role in his life. But the issue is- The problem is- 

Tony just doesn't know how to hold onto them. 

The sigh is heavy as Tony looks down at the image of Stephen, curled up in their bed, shivering even under the heavy blankets and the Cloak of Levitation. Stephen has been like that for  some time and Tony feels the fear spike in him as he watches the vitals flash and climb. 

The sense of helplessness is- He hates it. 

Go to him, Tony wants to say. Go to Loki, see if he can help. Tony isn't even sure if it will help, but it's something. Right?  _ Anything. _ At this rate, Tony doesn't even care if Stephen has to fuck the god without him being there. 

He doesn't care what it takes. 

He just  _ needs _ Stephen to be okay. And he gets the distinct feeling that for Stephen to be okay, so does Loki. And the god isn't okay. 

He is so far from being fucking okay that it is not even funny. 

As obsessively as Tony has been looking over the images of Stephen, he has been looking into the god as well and... yeah. It's fucked. They're fucked. 

Loki's breakdowns can't be described with words. No words that Tony knows can sufficiently describe just  _ how _ broken the god is and just how the god  _ keeps _ breaking. Watching him go through the pain and anguish, Tony is  _ glad _ that he can't feel the god's pain like Stephen can. 

Tony  isn't  sure if he could have coped with that amount of pain and anguish cutting through him as the god breaks over and over again. Each time emerging from the  breakdowns  more tired and more broken. 

Tony sighs as he brings up the image of Loki. 

The god is curled up  on his own bed too, Thor sitting by his bedside. Loki isn't saying anything, not from what Tony can see and neither is Thor. 

But Loki is breaking down again. That much is obvious. Tony closes his eyes. 

God they are so fucking fucked up. 

Connected. Connection. Bond. Those are  the  words they used. Triumvirate. That's what Loki had called the three of them and the three way Connection that they had formed. 

Which makes him wonder. 

If the three of them are all Connected and if they do form some sort of triangle, then they are the strongest when each point of the triangle is balanced and strong. Right? That's what science and math would say. 

So what happens when one part of the triangle is breaking down? 

What happens when one member of their 'Triumvirate' is falling apart, shattering and breaking? 

It can't be good, Tony thinks. He can't help but wonder whether or not, even though he can't feel the Connection and the Bonds, he is being  affected  by them. 

The nightmares, for one,  refuse  to go away. For another, there is... a fragility about himself as well. He can feel it. There is- There is this odd vulnerability that he can feel. He feels- He feels like there is a part of him unravelling and falling apart and there's something- Something odd about the emotions that he can feel. 

He feels- It feels like he is on the verge of losing control over them and over himself. 

Nightmares plague him and he is  _ exhausted _ and he imagines that it is the same for both Stephen and Loki and the thing is, Tony isn't sure how long they can last like this. 

He feels unstable and he knows that Loki is well... Loki and Stephen can't be doing all too well, feeling everything that Loki and he feels with no buffer to protect himself with. 

There is dread and apprehension in his stomach. 

"Tony, we need to go." The soft knock on the door along with Darcy's voice breaks through Tony's thoughts and he takes a deep breath. A very, very deep breath and closes the tablet. 

"Yeah, coming." He replies even as he tries to square himself away. There is work to be done. He has responsibilities to fulfil. Stephen and Loki will be alright. They have to be. 

Once this is all done, he will go home and he will fix this. He  _ has _ to. He doesn't care what it takes. He is going to fix this. Fix them. 

God he hopes there's enough of them  _ to _ fix. 

~~~ 

**Saturday **

**11 June 2011 **

The air feels hot and dry. 

He knows it isn't. The Penthouse is perfectly temperature controlled. It is meant to be a pleasant, warm temperature. But it doesn't feel like it. 

It feels as hot as the desert and just as dry as it as well. With each breath that he pants out, he feels as if he is drying out from the inside and out. 

With each breath that he lets out, the air in front of him sparks with magic. There is a flutter of lights and butterflies and sparks that flutter constantly in the air now. 

He can't control that anymore. 

He almost laughs with the ridiculousness of it all. He is the fucking Sorcerer Supreme and he is leaking magic with every fucking breath that he takes and releases because he can't even control that. He feels- God. 

Fuck. 

It feels like he is about to burn from the inside out and he feels like he is about to lose all control and it's- God. Shit. Fuck. 

No amount of cold showers, no amount of magic, no amount of air conditioning can keep him cool. Can keep him from burning. No medications or magic work either. Grimshaw and Clea  have  tried. 

_ Everything _ feels wrong. 

That sense of foreboding, that feeling of dread is getting worse and worse. He is missing something. Something simple. It feels like it's just at the tip of his tongue but he can't- 

Along with the fever and the pain and the helplessness that he feels, there is frustration. He just needs a moment of clarity. A moment without all the fevers and the foreboding and all of the- He just needs  _ a single moment _ . 

Then he can figure it out and he can solve this before- Before the worst happens. Gods. It had- It had taken just one fucking moment hadn't it? 

One fucking moment of him letting his stupid fucking guard down and Nicodemus West had been able to take him. Grab him. Do whatever it is that they had done to him. 

Stephen supposes he should be glad that he was unconscious during the whole thing and unaware of what it is that he has done. But at the same time, he can't help but feel so utterly stupid and so fucking useless that he  had  even allowed that to happen at all. 

It's-  _ fuck _ . Everything feels wrong and he feels wrong and he doesn't- 

Stephen looks over towards the corner of the bed where Clea sleeps. Finally resting after spending the day working spells over and over again to keep the magic building up inside of him as stable as possible. 

It had been the only way for him to take a breath. To be able to have moments of peace and calm. It had been the only way that he'd been able to rest but she can't keep this up. Neither can the others that come  every  now and then. 

And either way, it's not enough. 

Something is wrong with him. With his magic. It is spiralling out of control inside of him and building up in a way that it shouldn't. He isn't even connected to the dimensions, but the magic builds and builds and he can't- 

He can't think. 

He burns instead. His veins are filled with magic that rushes through him, setting every single cell within his body alight as they go. His very soul itself burns with the magic that it can't contain. It is- 

_ Something is wrong.  _

If Stephen had the energy, he would cry out. He would scream his frustrations. As it is, he doesn't. He is too exhausted. He is too- He is  _ exhausted _ . 

Stephen clings desperately onto the Connections and the Bonds. 

Even now, even with his focus completely and utterly shattered and with his mind fevered and incoherent, he can still at least reach out and touch and feel the Connections. 

Unlike his own thoughts and his magic and everything else, those at least, are crystal clear in his mind. 

He clings to them. 

It doesn't matter what it is that he feels through them anymore. The flashes of anger and frustration from Tony, tinged with anxiety and the now constantly and underlying love. The constant and deep anguish, pain and sorrow from Loki. 

The weight of the emotions should hurt. But it doesn't. Not right now. Not when they are the only things allowing him to hold onto his sanity as his mind, his heart and his soul  _ burns _ with magic. 

Something is wrong. 

So, so very, very wrong. But Stephen can't- He can't figure it out. Neither can anyone else and he just- He just needs it to all stop. He just wants it to stop. 

Tears and sweat mix and fall from his face and drenches the pillow. Without Tony to wipe them away, they just fall and soak into the pillows. Every now and then, the Cloak wipes them away. Every now and then, the Cloak holds him tighter, as if to try to give him the physical comfort that he desperately needs. 

Tony's worried. 

Stephen can feel that. Even though he'd requested and he knows that FRIDAY was dialling down the severity of his symptoms for Tony, the genius was worried. Tony has called. Of course he has. 

Stephen can't remember how those conversations went. He can't remember if he'd been able to- even the tears don't feel hot as they flow. 

He clings heavy onto the Connections and tries to control, tries to focus, tries to breathe. It doesn't work. 

The tears turn into sobs. 

His sweat soaks through the light cotton pyjamas. The tears flow freely and he has to clasp a hand over his mouth to stifle the sobs as they escape him. 

Clea needs to rest. She has been expanding far too much of her focus and her magic to keep him as stable as she can and he can't- He can't keep burdening her. He can't. 

As the sobs wreck through his body and as the desperation begins to fill him, Stephen can't- 

His soul  _ screams _ . 

It takes all of his effort, what little control and focus he can muster not to scream with it. He curls more and more into himself. The Cloak tightens around him. It's comfort isn't enough. 

It's not the comfort that Stephen needs. 

It's not the touch that he needs. 

He wishes that he could ask for Tony to come back. He wishes that he could hold onto the genius, cling to him, beg him to do something. Beg  _ anyone _ to do something. 

The helplessness, the inability to control even himself and his own goddamned fucking magic is- 

Oh Gods. 

Tony is busy. Tony is working. The problem in Japan is so vast and so the scandal so big that Stephen can't pull him away from that. He can't. It's too selfish and he can't do that to Tony. He can't make Tony decide between him and the future of his company. 

He can't.

But even as he thinks that, even as he tries desperately not to reach out and not to call out to Tony, he can't help but feel the second Connection within him. 

Tony isn't his only Soulmate. 

Their Bond may be weak and though the physical contact that they'd shared during their slumber hadn't helped as much as Stephen had hoped but- but perhaps- 

The fear is overwhelming. 

It is just as stifling as the burn is. It is just as terrifying as this loss of control that he feels. No. It is worse. That is a fear that is ingrained into him. That has developed into a physical response. 

Stephen huffs out a laugh between the pants, the sobs and the tears. 

Even after all that has happened, even after all that Loki has sacrificed, even after having felt the god's devastation and having seen the smiles and the strong face the god puts on for him in front of him, Stephen can't stop his body from shaking. He can't stop his heart from beating faster and faster. He can't stop his throat from constricting. 

'I need you to go to him if you need to,' Tony had said. But he can't. Tony had drawn out that promise from him. That reassurance that Stephen will get the grounding and focusing that he needs. 

Though Stephen doesn't want to break the promise, he can't. He  _ can't _ . The mere thought of going to Loki, of seeing him when he feels this broken, this unfocused and this vulnerable is- 

Stephen  _ can't _ . 

Even if is what he needs to to for himself. Even if it is what he needs to do for Tony. He  _ can't _ . He is too afraid. His limbs are heavy with that fear and so is his heart. He- He just- 

It would almost be easier if Tony didn't love him. It would- It would almost be easier if Tony didn't love him as much as he did. But he does. It is everything that Stephen had wanted and yet now- 

_ I need you to be healthy and stable and as well as you can be and if that means that every now and then, you need to be with him, it's fine. I can handle that.  _

Despite Tony's words, despite knowing that they are true, despite knowing all of that- It- It feels like a betrayal. 

A betrayal of their love. Of their relationship. Of the trust and devotion that has been built up between the two of them.

But it won't be the first time. 

The sobs wreck through him again. It's- This has to be a cosmic joke. This  _ had _ to be. But the Universe does what the Universe wants and it isn't within Stephen's power to fight her will. It has never been. It will never be. 

In the end, Stephen knows that he will go to Loki. He won't have a choice. It will reach a point where he will be forced. Where there will be no other option. 

But not yet. He's- He's not there yet and there- There might be a solution. A solution that he can't think of, but one that Grimshaw and the others may. It's- God he- 

The fever, the exhaustion and the pain that it brings and the magic coursing and burning through him becomes too much. He can't take it. He can't deal with it. Not- Not anymore. 

Stephen clings onto that Connection with Tony, to the love that he can feel it brimming with and he closes his eyes. The sobs wreck through him, stifled by his hands and the pillows and the tears continue to fall and fall and fall. 

But eventually, the darkness of sleep and the restlessness rest claims him. Through it all, Stephen doesn't notice the bright blue eyes watching him, filled with tears of their own and filled with fear of loss that she doesn't even know how to put  into  words. 

He doesn't notice the way that blankets cover him up, or the way that spells are woven around him to give him the modicum of comfort and peace that he sorely craves. 

He doesn't notice the frantic way that she makes her calls. Or the way that she looks at him worriedly before she opens the portal and leaves. 

He doesn't hear the hushed voices from the other side of the portal before it closes. 

No. He doesn't feel  _ anything.  _

Just the restless sleep and the nightmares that claims him. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**12 June 2011 **

The knock is soft but insistent. 

It is annoying and it is loud enough to snap him out of his pitiful sleep. Loki blearily opens his eyes and notes that it is very, very early in the morning. The darkness outside is testament to that, as well as the sleep that weighs heavily upon him. 

Thor, for once, has gone to bed with Jane rather than lingering with him. Good, Loki thinks as he drags himself from the bed. 

The constant exhaustion that plagues him from the nightmares, the pain and the void has set in deep into his bones and he's glad that his brother is able to sleep next to his Soulmate, to heal from the emotional wounds that Loki knows he has been inflicting over and over again upon the God of Thunder. 

It's- He doesn't mean to. 

But when he is in the grips of the void and the darkness within his heart, the anger and the rage lashes out and he can't stop himself from uttering words that he knows will hurt Thor. From digging deep into the wounds and the guilt that Thor already carries and making it worse. 

The cruel need to cause as much pain as he feels is IT raising  its  disgusting head and lashing out using Loki's voice and his words and his face. But Thor does not fight back. 

He listens, he lets Loki hurt him with his words and his hands and just takes it all, as if it is punishment that he deserves. It isn't. Thor does not deserve the lashings that Loki's tongue gives him. 

He should apologise. And he does. Each time, when he feels more himself than IT, when he feels calm and the wave of rage and anguish has passed, he does apologise. But it doesn't change the fact that he was harming Thor over and over again. 

Perhaps it would be better for Thor to simply remain away, Loki can't help but think as he makes his way out of the bedroom. 

Perhaps it would be better if everyone just left him be and let him just sink into the pain and anguish and if he could just give  in to the void to stop feeling anything at all. 

It would be so easy too. To just give into IT, and let it take his body, his mind and his soul. Let IT bear the weight of the pain and anguish that plagues him. It would be so- 

The only thing that holds him back, the only thing that keeps Loki from just... just giving in is the fact that he  _ knows _ that him giving up, just giving in... would  affect  not just himself but his Soulmates. 

It would shatter what is left of their Souls and the Connections and the Bonds and he can't. As much as IT whispers and cajoles him, as exhausted as he is with fighting against that allure, that- No. 

He can't. He might not be able to fight for himself. But he- He can fight for them. He has to. They- They don't deserve to lose everything when he'd already- No. He- 

He has to continue to fight. He has to cling onto that little bit of sanity left inside of him. He might break, he might fall apart but he needs to pull himself back together and cling onto what he has left. To Stephen. To Tony. 

It's- he has to do it for them. 

It is for  _ them _ that he allows Thor to remain by his side and to try to take the comfort being offered, even if all he wants to do is to shut his brother out. To shut out all the comforts and all the warmth and just- 

No. Norns, no. 

Loki crosses the living room, unlit by any lights but still bright enough through the moonlight and the lights of the city that lay underneath. There is an eerie glow to everything, lights that Loki isn't used to seeing. It isn't like Asgard or any of the other Nine Realms he has visited. 

No, the lights of Midgard are brighter if lifeless and artificial. There is ingenuity behind those lights that doesn't exist in the other Realms. 

The knocking continues and Loki sighs. 

He ought to say something. He ought to be curious about who would be knocking at his door at this hour of the morning. 

But he isn't. Because it doesn't matter. It could be Thor, it could be Jane. It could be Clea Strange again. It doesn't matter. 

Whoever it is, Loki will speak to them, he will give them his smiles and reassurances that he is okay, if that is what they need and make them go away. 

So that he can slink back into the bed and curl up with the sleepless nights, the coldness and the darkness that calls his name and survive the night. 

But as he approaches the door and as he listens to the knocks, he realises that it isn't being made by a human hand. He frowns at that. This sounds softer but insistent. There is no sharp rap of a knuckle. 

It doesn't matter, Loki thinks as he sighs and with a heavy hand, opens the door. As he does, as the dim light from the hallway and his own apartment illuminates the figure, Loki can't help the gasp of surprise that escape his lips or the way that his eyes widen. 

The figure that stands at the door is the last that he had expected, but when he falls into Loki's arms, heavy and hot with fever that burns his skin with heat and magic, Loki has no choice but to catch  him . 

Whatever strength has got him to Loki's door seems to fade and Loki bears the entirety of the trembling and shaking body in his arms. Loki isn't sure what he is meant to do. What he is meant to say. He doesn't know whether he should be turning away this most welcome visitor to his rooms. 

The dark thoughts, the void and even the insistent alluring call of IT disappears as if it had never been there as his body warms with the heat being emitted by the body in his arms. 

Then with a voice that burns and filled with desperation, with a breath that is so hot and dry it feels as if his skin i s scorched by just the brush of it, he issues the one request that Loki cannot deny. 

"Help me." 

~~~ 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's what Tony wanted. It is what he knew was needed. It doesn't make it any easier to watch as it happens. 
> 
> But at the end of it, what needs to happen does happen and Tony has to live with the consequences. As do Stephen and Loki. 
> 
> That's... just how life works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> Sorry I almost missed the update. I couldn't get out of bed today because I was stupid and bumped by stupid fucking broken nerve. The pain hasn't been good and with the current state of my mind it hasn't been fantastic. 
> 
> Anyway, here is the new chapter. I hope you will enjoy it and look forward to the angsty-ish fluff that is coming your way. 
> 
> I am really hoping to get out of this funk and be able to get some writing done soon and I'm so glad that Missa and I were ahead enough to be able to keep up some sort of update schedule despite everything. 
> 
> Missa isn't well so please wish her well and keep up with the comments to keep my poor writer's soul fed. 
> 
> Thank you for the support and your kind understanding. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Sunday**

**12 June 2011 **

Oh thank God. 

Tony can't help but think that as he leans heavily against the luxurious bathroom door. He's not even sure what excuse he'd given to the Japanese officials to make his escape. 

All he knows is that Stephen's vitals on his watch had spiked to the point where he couldn't- He just couldn't stay in the meeting. Pepper and the others got it handled anyway,  he thought as  he rushed off with  his  tablet in hand to the first private space he could find. 

Which happened to be the bathroom. It's fine. It's not like it will be the first or the last time he finds himself in there with the tablet, trying to calm his anxieties down so that he can actually focus on the goddamned meeting he's supposed to be having. 

When he'd opened up the tablet, he had to admit that he was surprised by what he had seen. But at the same time, there had been relief. 

Stephen had kept his promise. 

The promise that he had wrung out of his lover and the promise that he knew that Stephen hadn't wanted to keep. But he had kept it and Tony isn't- He isn't sure how he feels about that. 

As Tony looks down at his lover, laying in a bed that isn't  theirs , with someone that isn't him, Tony feels... he feels torn. 

There is relief. But there is also... unease.

Stephen lay there, the Cloak surrounding him, Loki carefully running a wet cloth down Stephen's forehead and neck, no doubt in vain trying to keep the doctor's temperature down. 

Tony had anticipated and waited for Stephen to make this move and as such, there is- there is some relief that Stephen has finally taken the step that he needed to. To finally seek out the help that he needs from the God of Mischief. 

But there is also unease. 

What changed? What  _ was _ happening with Stephen that  it  reached the point that he would seek Loki out? What has changed? Why was his temperature climbing and climbing and- 

The watch flashes with the warning signs about Stephen's temperature. FRIDAY's concern is one that Tony can't help but share. 

The man is panting and there are tears falling from his eyes that Loki wipes away carefully. Tony feels his heart break as he watches his lover suffer. 

But even now, Stephen is- he is  _ beautiful _ . Flushed with his fever, his eyes wet with the tears that keeps flowing and his soft lips open with the pants, he looks- God. 

He wants to be there. 

If it were possible, he would crawl into the goddamned screen so that he can be there. But he can't. Even he hasn't developed the technology to do that yet. No. 

All he can do is watch. 

He could call them. He knows that he can. It would take just a moment. JARVIS would put his voice through to them, but- No. No. He can't do that. He  _ shouldn't _ do that. This- This is a moment that Loki and Stephen  need  to share. 

This is a moment that should be just between them and he- God he hates this. He really, really hates this fucking position  he has  found himself in. 

This is fucking bullshit. 

It's fucking ridiculous isn't it? That he is being forced- no, he was choosing to, but at any rate, he is standing in a fucking bathroom, half a world away whilst his lover, the man he loves more than life  its  fucking self, is burning up with a fever and seeking comfort from someone other than him. 

He should be enraged. 

If they weren't soulmates and if there weren't reasons outside of what normal people would know and consider, Tony  _ would _ be enraged. But he isn't. 

No. 

Instead, he's fucking hopeful.  _ Hopeful! _

Tony can't help but hope against hope that this will be the moment that heals the rift between them. That it might help to lessen some of that fear inside of Stephen and perhaps, just  _ maybe _ , Stephen might be able to accept the grounding influence the god can offer. 

That perhaps that will allow the god some modicum of peace because gods, he needs it.  _ They _ need it. Oh fucking gods, this is all so fucking fucked and so fucking ridiculous and- 

Tony watches with bated breath as Loki cards his fingers through Stephen's sweat drenched hair. As the god talks softly to Stephen. 

He can't hear the words and he feels like a voyeur watching an intimate scene, but he can't stop. Tony watches, mesmerised as Stephen reaches out a badly shaking hand towards the god and his mouth utters words that Tony doesn't need to hear to know. 

'Help me'. 

Connection or not, Bond or not, magic or not, Tony can feel Stephen's desperation contained in those words and it fucking breaks something inside of Tony to see that. 

Even as Stephen's eyes fever ridden grey blue eyes flicker with fear and doubt, he still reaches out towards the god, fighting tooth and nail against the desire to run away, to hide. It's- Oh God. 

Loki hesitates. 

Tony doesn't have the best angle to see Loki's expression, but he sees the hesitation and the tension in Loki's shoulders before the god takes the hand that is being reached out towards him and gently,  _ reverently _ kisses the back of it. 

Tony feels the gasp that he releases. 

God or not, Loki is just as helpless in the face of Stephen's desperation as Tony is. In the face of pain that his Soulmate,  _ their _ Soulmate suffers from. Tony watches, his heart at his throat as Loki shakes his head firmly. 

He can't help it. 

It might be wrong and it might be beneath him, but he can't. He needs- He pushes the button that would allow him to listen to the audio and when he does, his heart breaks as he hears the words that Loki utters. 

"No, beloved one. Not when you are burning. Not when you are burdened by this fever. I will not lay with you without your consent, freely and willingly given." Loki says softly and his conviction, his determination is obvious. 

In that moment, Tony feels the last tendril of doubt and hesitation over the god and his intentions fade. Instead, he is filled with relief as Loki lowers Stephen's hand to rest over Stephen's heart. 

It finally hits Tony that the god that Stephen had met in that clearing, the one that he had met again in Stuttgart is not the god that Loki was trying to be. 

He was trying to be better. He was trying to make amends. Just like when Tony had realised just how badly he had hurt Stephen, just how badly he had damaged the man that he has come to love and he promised that he would do better, Loki was doing the same. 

Loki was trying to respect Stephen's boundaries and to assuage his fears. But- 

But that isn't what Stephen needs. Tony sees it. The desperation that he is all too familiar with seeing on Stephen's face, in his eyes. 

It's the desperation that Stephen shows him when he is burning with need and desire and just needs Tony to touch him, to hold him, to fill him. It's the desperation that Tony had seen over and over again whilst the god had been at the edge of the universe, when Stephen's Connection had been so stretched that he couldn't- he had felt so empty and strained that he had  _ begged _ for the contact with Tony to fill that void. 

It's the kind of desperation that Tony knows,  _ needs _ to be filled and he can't do it. He isn't the one that needs to do it.  _ Loki is _ . He has to accept that. He  _ does _ accept that. It's- It's still not easy to stand by and- 

Tony watches, tears threatening as Stephen fights against Loki's hands and all but grabs at the god, his movements slow and weak but desperate. 

"P-Please- I-I n-I need-" Stephen's voice is dry and hoarse with the fever that has been burning through him for days now. There is no strength left in Stephen to even lift himself up. All he can do is cling to Loki and hope that the god will understand. 

But he won't do it, Tony realises. 

Not when Stephen isn't fully coherent. Not when Stephen is begging him because he is burning with the fever. When it is clear that Stephen is still afraid and that this isn't what Stephen wants. 

Stephen's arms shake with the effort and despite the fever apparently in his eyes, they also burn with fear. God. 

Tony closes his eyes. 

He clenches his fists as he fights against his desire to call. To tell Loki that it's okay. To give Stephen what he needs. But that's not- That's not right either is it? This has to be their decision. This has to be their call to make. This is between Loki and Stephen and Tony can't intervene. He can't make the decision for them. For Stephen. 

"Beloved, I know that you need grounding. That you need an outlet. But I will not let you make a decision that you will later regret. I will not add to the pain and fear that you already suffer dearly from." Loki says and his voice is so gentle, so filled with guilt and regret that it hurts to hear it. 

The tears that Tony had tried to hold back do fall and he can't- He can't stop them from flowing onto the tablet as he blinks his eyes furiously to keep watching the two of them as his hands wipe the tears away angrily from both his eyes and the screen. 

"Let me-" Loki starts to say but before he can finish that sentence, Stephen surges forward. Tony isn't sure whether or not it is Stephen's own strength or the Cloak that assists him, but Stephen does surge forward and Tony's eyes widen as he watches. 

Stephen's shaking arms go around the god's neck and Stephen's lips, chapped but wet with the heated pants and  breaths , capture the god's in a kiss that is far, far hotter than it has any right to be. 

Loki freezes. 

So does Tony. 

His hands halfway across his face and the tablet, Tony freezes as he watches. Loki's shoulders and body  tense , no doubt wanting to push Stephen away because of the words he had already uttered, but at the same time, unable to deny himself the pleasure of getting what he had been wanting for so long. 

No. There is no way that Loki could push Stephen away and he doesn't. Tony understands that. He understands why, even if- Even if he doesn't necessarily like it. 

His emerald green eyes widen with shock and surprise before they stutter shut as the god's arms wrap around Stephen and supports him as the kiss continues. 

Tears flow from Stephen's eyes and his limbs and his body  shakes  with either fear or need, it's difficult for Tony to say, but the kiss continues through it and  in  spite of it all and he- he can't. He just- He just can't. 

Tony turns the screen off. 

He can't- He can't stand  here  in this stupid bathroom with the stupid meeting going on and watch as his lover kisses someone else. Makes- Shares intimacy with someone else. 

He can't. 

He will admit, there is less pain than he'd expected. He will also admit, if he was being honest with himself, that the kiss was hot. Hot as he had expected it to be. He also knows that it's an image that has been burned into his mind and will distract him for some time to come. 

But that doesn't mean that he is happy and it doesn't mean that he can stand there and watch. God no. Tony isn't- no. He isn't capable of that. 

This is what needed to happen, Tony reminds himself. Stephen needs someone right now and he can't be it. So Loki has to take up that burden . Loki has to be there to focus and ground Stephen and whatever else that he needs and if that means- God. 

There is that jealousy and that bit of burning pain that lingers in his heart that Tony squashes down relentlessly. Now is not the time to feel that shit. Or to deal with that shit. That is- He can deal with that later. Much- Much later. 

Now is the time for him to do his fucking job and get this fucking mess sorted so that he can fucking go home and hold Stephen and remind himself that he still has Stephen. 

That he hasn't lost Stephen to Loki. 

That their love still holds on despite the kiss and whatever  other  intimacy that they are going to be sharing. It's- It's fine. He can deal with this. He can. It's not the first time that one of his lovers has slept with someone else. 

And if he could forgive those that hadn't even  been  in his life as long as Stephen has and hasn't had as big an impact as Stephen has had and didn't have a good reason like Stephen did, then by the gods he can deal with Stephen sleeping with Loki. 

It's fine, he tells himself again as he steels himself. Just a few more hours. Just another day and then he can go home. 

He just has to ignore that little voice of insecurity inside of his mind and fight the anxieties and the monstrous voice that wants to rage and to hold onto Stephen like he is some sort of prized possession. 

He can do that. He  _ needs _ to do that. It's- It's going to be fine. It's all- It's all going to be fine. 

God, he wishes he could believe that. 

~~~ 

**Sunday**

**12 June 2011 **

It's done. 

Oh holy shit it's finally fucking done. The relief that she feels at that is ridiculous. All of that drama, all of that paperwork hell, the sleepless days and nights are over and it's done. 

It feels like a weight has been lifted off of her shoulders. It feels like they've gone over that impossible summit. It feels like she can finally just fucking  _ breathe _ . 

The contract between Stark Industries and the Japanese Government is ready to go. The plan is ready to be instituted and tomorrow afternoon, in front of the media and the public, it is going to be signed and it is going to be done. 

The nightmare is over. 

Thank the fuck. 

Her head feels so heavy and she's so fucking tired that right now? She could honestly fall asleep with her full face of  makeup , heels on her feet and the goddamned dress holding her stomach and lungs hostage. 

God, she could kill for a bed. 

Right now, she doesn't want coffee to stay awake. Not anymore. In fact, if she could go without coffee for about a week, it would be too short.

She just- She just wants to go back to the hotel, share the good news with the others, even though she was pretty sure they already knew, celebrate with a good hearty meal and just pass out. 

And maybe wake up only when it's Monday afternoon and she is needed to sign the contract. 

But that's not what was going to happen. Not really. The sharing good news and the hearty meal part?  Yes . Most likely. But she still has to check in with Clea and with her secretary and make sure that the rest of Stark Industries wasn't falling apart and there  were still  all the emails that she needs to go through and- yeah. 

The work never fucking ends. 

But before that, she needs to actually get back to the hotel. With that in mind, she says her polite goodbyes to the officials that look just as exhausted and worn out  as  they do. They shake their hands, do their bows and get themselves into the limousines. 

It's only when they are in the car and there is relative privacy that Pepper notices just how distracted Tony is. And that something is wrong. 

Unlike what she expected him to do as soon as they are in the car, Tony doesn't turn on the tablet. He doesn't turn to what had been his only source of comfort for the last couple of days. 

Tony's anxiety and fear  were ones that she understood and she knew what he had been looking at. But since he'd left halfway through the meeting for a 'phone call' that she knew he didn't take, Tony has been distracted even more than he had been in the last couple of days. 

To anyone else, it would have seemed like he'd been laser focused on the meeting and he  _ had _ been paying attention, but she knew better and from the worried look in Darcy's eyes, she knew better too. So yeah, they were worried. 

Something was going on at the Tower. 

Pepper isn't sure how to ask and she isn't even sure whether she  _ should _ ask with Darcy in the car with them. Pepper bites her lips and thinks for a moment. 

The meeting had wrapped up a lot quicker than they had anticipated and they had time. A lot of time actually, enough time for Tony to go back to New York and spend some time with Stephen if that is what he needed. 

"Tony, why don't you go back to New York with the suit? I mean, we have about 20 hours at least and if you're worried about Stephen you can-" Pepper starts to say but Tony shakes his head. 

They both know that it's not a good idea. 

The Iron Man suit is flashy and they would need to seek permission from Japanese Air Traffic Control for Tony to even fly the suit and with everything that's happened in the last couple of days, that permission might not be so forthcoming. 

And flying without permission? 

That would be an absolutely terrible idea. That would cause friction with the Japanese government that they really, really don't need right now. 

Despite that, she can't help but offer it because- Because Tony looks so tense and upset and she can't help it. She wants- No, she  _ needs _ Tony to be happy. 

He is her best friend. Her family. 

It's only natural for her for her to want him to be happy right? There is- there is one other solution that Pepper knows that Tony is thinking about that she can't quite voice with Darcy curling up in the seat next to her. 

"It's fine." He tells her, but the tension in his voice and the anxiety that she can hear tells her that it isn't. But it's not something she can question right now. So instead, she turns to Darcy. 

"So, have you found a nice hotel with a hot spring for us to soak our weary bones in? Perhaps we can get the others on a plane and get them here before tomorrow and go straight into a family vacation." Pepper suggests. 

That would be a way to get Stephen and the others here, she can't help but think as Darcy smiles and throwing her shoes off and curling her legs underneath her, brings her tablet out with some excitement though there is still some hesitation, as if she can't quite believe it. 

"Are you sure?" Darcy asks, though her excitement is palpable. Pepper can't help but smile and nod. 

"Yes, I'm sure. The teams deserve a break after this and frankly, so do we." Pepper aims those words more at Tony than at Darcy, but he doesn't seem to notice, deep in  thought  as he is. 

"Hells yeah, so there's this onsen in Kyoto that I thought we could go to, if we had the time. They have the whole shebang. Like they got the outdoor hot springs, the public ones and then the private ones with each of the bigger rooms having their own and there's like a secret one up in the mountains you can rent." Darcy says animatedly. 

Pepper can't help but smile as she  listens . 

She may be beyond the enthusiasm and the excitement right now, but she needs something to look forward to. She really does. 

They  _ all _ do. 

This past month has been hard.  These  past two weeks has been even harder and they really,  _ really _ need a break. 

"Book it in Darce." Tony's voice surprises both of them and Darcy stops in the middle of showing pictures to look at him. 

It's clear that though she may have been excited by the prospects, she had thought that it was just empty words. Even to Pepper, it had been that, but Tony's certainty as he says those words and the way that he tears his eyes away from the watch reporting on Stephen's vitals, speak volumes. 

"We need a break. All of us do. Book it in. I mean, I might have to go back to New York, but that doesn't mean you guys can't get a break. You deserve it and we need it." Tony says quietly and Pepper can't help but nod as Darcy looks at her for confirmation. 

"Alright then, you guys are the bosses." Darcy says as her fingers dance across the screen. 

Pepper frowns as she looks over at Tony. There is a thin line of tension along his eyes and his lips and there is more than just the anxiety and fear that she'd gotten used to seeing. 

God, she almost can't recall the last time she'd seen him smile. It's- Fuck. 

"Tony, what's going on?" Pepper asks, her voice soft and gentle. She can't help it. There's- There's something going on and it was making the situation worse. 

Darcy's fingers pause for a moment, but she continues on, clearly not wanting to eavesdrop , though the small environment of the car makes it impossible to keep the conversation private. 

"Nothing. I'm- I'm just thinking about Stephen. That's all." Tony says and it's not a full out lie, but it's damned close to it, Pepper can't help but note. She frowns even further, but the tension, the apprehension in his eyes and the guard that is present makes it difficult for her to ask more. 

There is almost a plea in his eyes as he looks up at her to stop asking. To leave him to his thoughts and she has to respect that. She nods and she turns her attention back to Darcy. 

She will make time to talk to him later, she thinks. When they are alone maybe. Maybe he will be willing to talk then. Maybe he will share his burdens with her and maybe she can help. 

God she hopes she can. 

"Sweet! The hotel is pretty much ours if we want it for like a week. They've just done some renovations and it hasn't been booked out yet." Darcy says, her tone bright and  _ just _ shy of being forced. Pepper can't help but be grateful for her and her attempts to lift the mood. Pepper smiles as she nods. 

Tony might need to go back and maybe they can't get everyone here, but at the very least Darcy, Alexander and Gina and their teams could use the break and so could she. She nods. 

"Book them out. Let's get Alexander to get them to sign up to an NDA and pay them whatever else we need to make sure we have the privacy that we need." Pepper says quietly. It's always a bit of thing when arranging holidays these days. 

Their fame got in the way of privacy quite often and the last thing that they needed to worry about when they were just trying to enjoy a break was trying to hide who they were and worrying about what might end up with the tabloids. Darcy nods. 

"Don't even worry about it. I'll get it sorted. I- um... is it okay if I tell Jane and Clea?" Darcy asks and Pepper gives her a wide smile and a firm nod. 

"Of course. I'm sure Alexander can work out a way for Thor to come even without a passport. We still really do need to figure out the whole Norse Gods and passport situations." Pepper says with a sigh as Darcy shrugs her shoulders. 

"Yeah. Well, that very much sounds like a problem for Darcy in the future. For now, the hotel's been booked and I've sent a message to Gina and Alexander and their teams." Darcy's says with a wink and Pepper laughs. 

Even if it isn't a true, joyous laugh, it feels good to laugh and god she needs it. They need it. 

Later, she will worry about Tony's expression and his distracted nature, but for the time being, she needs a moment of the mindless chatter and excitement that Darcy provides and the smiles that linger on her face. 

Even if it wasn't going to last. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**12 June 2011 **

Stephen's lips  _ burn _ against his own. 

They pass on  the  hot dry air that threatens to parch him, inside and out and Loki  _ almost _ wants to pull away, but he can't. 

Even as he had tried to stop the kiss, even as he had tried to stop the sorcerer from making a decision that he may regret, Loki can't pull away now that he can taste the heat of Stephen's lips, feel the desperation through them and in turn, his own desire and need rise like a tide. 

Stephen doesn't want this. 

Loki knows that. He does. He should- He should stop this but as much as Stephen may not want it, he  _ needs _ it. They both know that. 

It's- Loki can't- 

He feels the hot tears falling from Stephen's eyes and onto his face. Just like the kiss burns him, just as Stephen's breaths burns him, the  tears burn him too . 

He should stop. 

He should pull away. He should try to find another way to give Stephen the grounding needs. Make sure that Stephen can't- that he won't regret this. He has to- 

Stephen moans into the kiss. 

It's a moan that seems to be almost ripped out of him as his body burns with the fever and the magic. With each breath that escapes them, magic flutters into the air and soon, his bedroom is filled with the lights of excess magic. 

Loki feels the panic  and fear . 

This isn't- Stephen shouldn't be leaking magic like this. He has better control than this. He has to and the fact that he is tells Loki that something is terribly,  _ terribly _ wrong with his Soulmate and he doesn't- 

What does he have to do? 

How does he help Stephen? Panic starts to fill him even as he drowns in the kiss and the heady pleasure that it brings. It's- It's like having every prayer answered and every desire filled even though- even though this isn't what Stephen wants. 

It's- 

Stephen's arms are hot and heavy around his neck and Loki can't help but hold the sorcerer tight in his arms as he soaks up the man's heat, even as it threatens to burn him. 

He wonders what his naturally cooler temperature feels  like  to Stephen. Whether or not it feels good against that fevered skin, whether or not it is what he wants. It's not. 

He knows that. 

Loki isn't the one that Stephen wants. The one that he desires. It is that thought that snaps Loki out of the desire and the need and makes him open his eyes as he tries to pull away from Stephen. 

But the sorcerer's grip around his neck is surprisingly strong and when Stephen moans against his lips and he feels the sparks of magic flutter between them, he  _ can't _ . 

Any will he'd managed to muster to pull away, to stop this, disappears and Loki feels the hot shame go through him at that. 

That and the guilt builds in his stomach even as desire and need does. 

As the kiss continues and deepens and as Stephen all but devours him as he kisses and works his way into Loki's mouth as if he is trying to crawl into him, to take everything that he wants and needs, Loki can't help it. 

Even though Stephen is trembling in his arms, even though Stephen is losing control of the magic inside of him and even though he is burning up with the magic that he can't contain and even though this is wrong, this isn't- 

Loki can't stop it. 

He gives in. He takes everything that Stephen gives him. He takes and tastes the tears, he takes the deep blistering heat escaping from Stephen's lips and he takes the tongue that plunders and strokes his. 

Even the magic that sparks between them and causes his skin to tingle and sets aflame to them, he takes and he bears through it all as Stephen gasps into his lips. 

It takes just a moment to make the decision. 

Just as it had during their encounter in Stuttgart, it takes just a moment. Loki moves them, slowly and carefully until he is laying down with Stephen on top of him, giving the sorcerer all the access that he may want or need. 

Loki takes every touch, every kiss, every moan and every hungry gasp as Stephen's body and soul takes what it is that he needs from him. 

And as he does, as the kiss grows heady and he feels like he can feel himself starting to burn with the same fever and fire that burns through Stephen, the room fills with magic that bursts from Stephen and the kiss breaks.

It's not just magic. 

It is as if Stephen  _ himself _ is falling apart. 

It is as if Stephen is coming undone right on top of him and Loki's eyes snap open and he sees the wide grey blue eyes glow with a light that is all too familiar. Light that doesn't belong in those eyes. 

"Of course." Stephen mutters as if he has just reached a conclusion, a revelation. It's a voice of clarity and understanding and with it, Stephen smiles softly and the fear, that fear that has lingered for so long inside of Stephen disappears. 

Loki doesn't- He doesn't understand what the Sorcerer Supreme means. He doesn't understand what the sorcerer is saying or thinking. It's- It's hard to think with Stephen straddling him like this, looking down at him like this, without the fear, with the pants and the hot breaths and the magic in the air. 

It's- Loki can't think. 

Especially not when the scarred and trembling hand burns as it comes to rest gently against his face. 

It's a gentle caress that sets Loki's skin ablaze. The heat from that hand, it feels like, goes straight to his groin and Loki has to bite his lips to hold back the moan as Stephen looks down at him with wonder. 

" _ Of course _ ." Stephen mutters again and before Loki can question it, before he can even breathe, Stephen takes his lips again. 

But this time, the kiss isn't desperate. Stephen's lips don't tremble. They are soft, they are gentle and almost- almost reverent and it- Loki's eyes slide shut. He can't help it. He can't help the tears that gather and fall from his eyes either. It- It feels like a balm being placed over his very soul. 

Loki takes the kiss. He accepts the kiss. He just lets Stephen kiss him and take him and do whatever it is that he requires. At each point their bodies touch, Loki burns and he needs and he wants. But his needs, wants and desires are not what matters. 

It is Stephen's. 

So, Loki surrenders. He gives in. He has already given Stephen everything that he could give. And if this kiss, if his body, if the very air between his lungs and even his final breath is what Stephen needs then so be it. 

There is nothing that Loki wasn't willing to give him. 

But when the kiss deepens and the heat between them begins to build, it infects him and it's- It doesn't feel like Stephen is taking. It feels like he is giving and it feels like- Loki's eyes snap open and widen as he looks into Stephen's grey blue eyes and sees the glow inside of them. 

He feels the familiar coursing of flames passing from Stephen's lips into his own, burning up his lungs before it spreads through every single inch of his body. 

Had Loki's lips not been trapped by Stephen's and had his body not been trapped under Stephen's, he would have screamed. 

He would have arched his back, he would have writhed but as it is, all Loki can do is look into those grey blue eyes, feel the deep kiss that threatens to consume him and just take it. 

Take everything. 

Take it  _ all _ . 

The scorching heat has him moaning despite the lips that drink even that in. Even as Stephen takes, he is giving and what he is giving is- 

Loki should stop this. 

He can't- Loki feels that fear and desperation rise within him but even as it does, Stephen smiles against Loki's lips as he runs a soothing hand down Loki's stomach. Despite the heat, or perhaps because of it, Loki feels himself hard underneath Stephen's body and he knows that the sorcerer must be able to feel it. 

But the kiss continues, almost tame now as the heat pulses between them. Slowly but surely, the kiss winds down and with it, the heat. 

The fever that had been burning through Stephen seems to quieten and as it does and as the kiss slows down and becomes almost  lazy  as the last few sparks pass between them, Loki can't help but shiver and shudder as the pleasure overtakes his mind. 

But he keeps his hands where they are around Stephen's waist, supporting the sorcerer as he leans back, straddling Loki and no doubt feeling the hard cock that rests between them. 

The kiss breaks and the air that he had desperately needed, that they had both desperately needed makes them pant as their eyes wide open and dilated, they look at each other. 

Loki knows that his eyes too would be filled with the wonder that he can't hide, just as Stephen's does. 

"Don't ever give it up again. Not for me, not for Anthony. Promise me." Stephen's words are almost harsh as he puts his hands down on either side of Loki's face. Their faces are mere inches apart as the Sorcerer Supreme looks down at him. 

His eyes don't hold any of the fear. Instead, there is excitement, exhilaration and joy that Loki had never thought he would be able to see in those beautiful eyes. Not when they are looking at him. It's- 

He swallows hard as the emotions and thoughts overwhelm him. He can't- He can't answer. He can just barely breathe. His thoughts circle and his emotions rise and fall within him and it's- 

With his throat thick with those emotions, he manages a nod. 

"Good." Stephen says firmly but as he does, whatever strength had kept him up, whether it was adrenaline or the magic that had passed between them, fades and Loki has just a split second of a warning as Stephen's eyes roll back to catch him before he falls completely onto Loki. 

Loki's arms move quickly enough to catch the Sorcerer Supreme's body as it crumbles and he carefully lowers it over his and holds him, gently with gratitude that he can't express with words dancing in his eyes. 

With Stephen breathing easy, with his fever breaking and with the man's heart rate slowing down as he rests against Loki's chest, the God of Mischief raises a hand. 

It is shaking  with adrenaline and exhilaration and desire and oh dear Norns, too many emotions for him to even catalogue for himself, but as he raises that hand and makes a motion he had done millions  of  times over, his hands lights. 

He feels the familiar coursing of that energy, that power, that magic through his blood, through every little corner of his body and it's- 

With tears falling from his eyes, with wonder he can't hide lighting them up, he looks at his hand, glowing bright with the familiar green and gold of his Seidr. 

Thank the Norns, Loki thinks as he watches that glow dance along his pale skin. Loki might deny it for all of the time to come, but as he holds Stephen in his arms, magic dancing on his fingertips, he sobs. 

He doesn't- He doesn't regret it. 

Even if he would have lost it permanently. If he never got to feel the magic coursing through him again, he wouldn't have regretted it. But to have it back, to be able to feel it again, to know that he has it back it's- 

The relief is  _ overwhelming _ . 

He might not be able to get everything that he has lost over the years. He might not be able to completely put himself back together again and he may never have the love of his Soulmates, but he at least has this back, he thinks. 

The excess magic that has escaped from Stephen still fill the air between them. The room is still alight with the butterflies and the sparks. Amongst them, Loki releases his own magic, allowing the two energies to mix. 

And it- It feels- 

The void disappears. Where the Void was, where the vast gaping emptiness of where the Connection and the Bond used to be is again filled. 

Loki can feel Tony distantly. He can feel the man's frustrations and anguish and anxiety. He can feel the calm from Stephen that results from him being unconscious. He can feel- He can feel his Soulmates. 

Oh Norns, he thinks. This- This is what he had needed the most. Something to hold onto. Even if he couldn't have them, the Connections and the Bonds had been something he could hold onto as he fought for his sanity. 

Losing that had been- 

But he has them back now. He can feel them now. And now, again, he has what he needs to keep fighting. To keep himself together. To be their sword and shield again. 

Holding Stephen gently in his arms and unable to help but run his fingers through the Sorcerer Supreme's hair, Loki can't help but pray and express his gratitude with his tears. 

Thank the Norns. 

~~~ 


	24. Kisses of Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony knows better. But that's not how insecurities work. They are there regardless of just how sure he is of anything and everything. 
> 
> But maybe there is a way to fix that... and a few other things. 
> 
> Just... maybe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone... 
> 
> A long time no see (for me). I really do apologise for the delay in all of the updates. There just has been a lot of things happening that have been keeping me a bit on the down but slowly but surely I am getting better. Unfortunately, these things take a bit of time. 
> 
> In the mean time, I will be on a weekly schedule (for just two or three weeks) so I can give myself the time to get myself together and also to build up the reserves for me to write and for Missa to edit so that I can get back to the regular schedule. 
> 
> Thank you very much for your kind words of support and understanding. They really have kept me from going too far down the drain. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Monday**

**13 June 2011**

"Are you sure?" She can't help but ask.

It's not that she doubts him, it's just that- he's still so fucking pale and it really had been so fucking close that she can't- The terror is still there inside of her and she almost wants him to say no.

"Yes Clea, I'm sure." Stephen's reply is indulgent and his voice is amused and affectionate but at the same time, it's weak and croaky and it's- she's pretty sure she  _ should _ stay. Right? 

Make sure that he has enough water and make sure she looks after him because the fever might be broken and his magic seems to have settled but she's-

He still hasn't said a word yet about what had changed.

She'd gone to the emergency meeting with the Council to see if they  could  do something,  _ anything _ to try to keep Stephen stable and when  she'd returned, her heart heavy with the news  and helplessness , he'd been sleeping peacefully for the first time in days.

The fever had been gone and the magic in him had been settled and she had felt so relieved that she had just sat there, her trembling hand over his heart making sure.

Even then, she'd only fully believed it after she had called Grimshaw and Wong and they double checked and with relief clear in their voices too, told her that he was okay. That he was going to be okay.

The relief she had felt had been almost physical. She had felt her knees go weak and the tension drain from her. God. Knowing that she wasn't going to lose him is- It's still enough to make her knees feel weak and her hands tremble.

And because of that, perhaps, or because she just can't believe that he  _ is _ okay or maybe because she's worried that somehow he might get worse again that she can't- She just doesn't want to leave his side.

"Seriously, Clea, I'm going to be okay now. I promise." He tells her, his voice soft with the guilt for making her worry and his  affection  and love for her clear in his eyes. 

His voice also holds conviction and certainty. But without knowing how or why or whether it is even permanent, she's- she's just not sure.

"You still haven't told me what happened." She reminds him gently. She needs to know, not just for herself but for the Order. There is a mystery that hasn't been answered yet and though Stephen may be a unique case, the more they understand about magic the better.

But so far, Stephen hadn't said anything. When he'd  woken  up, he had been  disoriented  and still weak and tired from the fevers that had been sapping away at his energy levels.

And even when he'd fully woken up, he'd been pensive and quiet and that had been worrying her, despite the relief of knowing that he was alright. Despite him telling her that several times.

There is silence for a long moment, but Clea can be patient when she needs to. So she waits, sitting there on the side of the bed, ready to offer comfort if he needs it.

"Loki." He says, his voice so quiet that she would have missed it if she hadn't been paying such close attention. That isn't the response that she had been expecting, for one. For another, though she waits, it's clear that he doesn't want to say anything more than that. 

She blinks as she thinks.

The thing is, there  are  a lot of questions when it comes to Loki that she has and that the Council has , that Stephen has never answered. She's sure that Grimshaw knows something, but they won't say and there is that odd tension between Loki, Stephen and Tony that just doesn't make sense.

Well, she does understand some of the reasons behind it. It can't be easy, can it? Finding out that there is a third soul, a third being Connected to the two of them when they have just been able to settle into their own relationship after two years of heartbreaks. 

It especially can't be easy when that third Soul belongs to a  God of Mischief  and Lies no less. It also can't be easy to find out that Soul has been tortured and damaged and she can only imagine how difficult it had been for Stephen all of the time Loki had been getting well... tortured.

And Loki himself is so... broken.

Fragile and vulnerable and falling apart at the seams and it can't be easy trying to bond with him, to get to know him when Loki isn't really... who he is meant to be or can be or who he was.

It's difficult for Clea to even try to understand the intricacies that would be required to deal with those facts alone, never having been in love or a long term relationship to begin with. The unconventional nature of a polyamory relationship, personality conflicts and on top of it all, all the magic and the soulmate stuff? 

So yeah, she gets the tension. 

But not the fear. There is- Stephen hides it. He really tries to hide it and he does a bang up job of it for the most part. But she has known him for too long and she has known him too well for her to miss the tell tale tension, the apprehension and the naked fear in his eyes sometimes when he joins them for the meals.

And that fear is always directed at Loki.

Tony knows it. There is  a  gentle, loving way that Tony grabs Stephen's hand under the table or talks animatedly to draw attention to himself and to distract and comfort Stephen that she can't help but adore him for.

Except the thing is, that fear? That makes no fucking sense at all. Everything about Soulmates and Connections that she knows tells her that Soulmates are supposed to make each other feel comfortable and safe.

Even someone like Tony, who doesn't have a single drop of magic inside of him, should feel an inherent sense of calm and trust when he is near his Soulmates or with his Soulmates and for someone like Stephen, that sense should be even more than just that.

He should feel comfortable and safe and even if he feels the god's pain and anguish, it shouldn't make him afraid. But he is. 

Clea doesn't understand that. 

Then Loki himself and the hesitation he has whenever he looks over at Stephen and at Tony, that look of almost guilt and regret that is always there is- She doesn't understand.

'What did Loki do? What did you do? What happened? What changed?' She wants to ask because she  _ needs _ to know. But when Stephen looks at her, his eyes swimming with emotions and the tension is obvious in his shoulders and she sees his hands starting to shake even more than usual, she bites her lips.

His eyes beg her not to and she can't.

"Okay. If you're sure, I'll go. But if something happens, you need to tell me. I'll come back straight away. Okay? Please?" She puts a smile on her face. She makes her tone light and bright. They both know what she is doing, but it's fine.

Sometimes, the pretence is necessary. Not because they don't care, but because they do. And for now, if the pretence is what he needs, that is what she will give him.

Even if they both know they are just delaying the inevitable. 

~~~

**Monday**

**13 June 2011**

He is being childish.

He should be relieved and excited and he should be hurrying so that he can pack up, get himself to the airport and get the plane off the ground as soon as possible and get the fuck home.

But-

Oh God, he's such an idiot. He is. He really, really fucking is and he needs to stop this bullshit. He just doesn't know how to. It's-

It's fine.

It is. He'd thought about this for some time and he knew that it was going to happen and it's not like he isn't prepared for it. He has been prepared for it and it's all fine.

But it isn't.

Logically, Tony is fine with the fact that Stephen has probably had sex with Loki. Rationally, he is accepting of the fact that his lover needed the grounding and focusing and that he had needed it from Loki and well- It's- 

It's just sex.

But deep inside, that little insecurity that he'd never been able to get rid of no matter how he proved himself to the world, no matter how wealthy he became and no matter how famous he became, no matter how much Stephen tells him and proves to him that he loves him.

That niggling doubt. That niggling sense of not been enough. Not being  _ good _ enough. 

Michelle told him it was because of his issues with Howard and that it rose out of his genius and the sense of isolation and the desire to be understood by people that found it difficult to understand or relate to him.

That he just needs to remember that he is loved and accepted and understood by his friends and family. That he needs to trust and  to  believe in himself and those around him. The typical Hallmark card bullshit. Which honestly sounds great but is far harder to do in real life than say it. 

And right now? He can't.

He is- the insecurity makes him doubt the love that he knows is between himself and Stephen. It makes him worry about being replaced. It makes him worry about losing what he had and he is a terrified bundle of nerves that just- fuck.

Fuck! Fuck!  _ FUCK! _

Tony stops and takes a deep, deep breath and he settles his emotions and can't help but let out a small huff of hollow laughter. The worst part of it is that Stephen can probably feel all of the shit that he's feeling and he's going to have questions and Tony isn't sure how the fuck he is going to answer that. 

Not after- Not after he'd seen that kiss between- Shit. Shit.  _ SHIT! _

He kept his eyes on the watch and he knows that Stephen's vitals have settled, which is good and he is so very, very  relieved  but... that's- the implications of that  are- 

Stop. Just stop this nonsense, he tells himself. 

He needs to get himself the fuck together, pack his bags and go home. When he sees Stephen and when he can hold the man in his arms, these feelings will settle. He knows that. It's- It's stupid and childish and he will get over it.

He  _ knows _ that.

The others are excited. The holiday that they have been promised and the relief that the scandal is more or less over along with the exhaustion has them almost delirious in their excitement as he walks back into the suite with the others.

Tony isn't.

He should stay. He should thank them for all their hard work. Hand out bonuses or something to show his appreciation. He should smile and be happy and do all that stuff. But he can't. He makes eye contact with Pepper and she gives him a smile and a nod of understanding before she smoothly draws attention to herself.

God, they really have known each other for too long, haven't they? For her to be able to just get what he needs to do without a word being spoken. But he's grateful. He manages a smile back and manages to escape the throngs of others to the bedroom he'd been using.

But instead of packing busily or getting himself sorted so he can go home, he finds himself flopping onto the bed and looking up at the beautiful, ornate ceiling and the sunset dancing across it.

He's almost- He's such a fucking idiot, he thinks with a mirthless laugh that huffs out of him and he covers his eyes, rubbing them to try to relieve them of the dry grittiness he feels.

But as he does, he feels- He's not quite sure what it is that he feels, but he feels  _ something _ . Eyes watching him maybe.  Whatever  it is, it has him lowering his hands and looking around and- 

"Holy fucking shit!" Tony almost shouts as he jumps up and it takes all of his effort not to scurry up the bed or off the bed or dive for the suit. 

His heartbeat jumps up to levels that is probably  _ very _ unhealthy for a man like him and he feels the adrenaline rush through him and well, at least it makes him feel more awake, he thinks as he runs a trembling hand down his face.

"Holy mother fucking shit! Rudolph! I thought we talked about this! Warn a man before you just tele- Wait. What?!" The words literally fall out of him before it hits him. Loki. Is here. Standing there as if- What? How?! 

For a moment, Tony does a double take. He's pretty sure he looks fucking ridiculous, freaking out but what? Tony double checks to make sure that he is, yes, indeed in Japan and not at home. 

It's-  _ How _ ?

"My apologies, Anthony." Loki's eyes and expression holds the apologies he is uttering and more than that, there is tension and apprehension that Tony doesn't- He blinks.

Wait. What? How? Why?

The questions pile on even as Tony tries to breathe and settle his heart. This can't be real right? The last he'd heard, Loki had sacrificed his freaking magic to save Stephen's life. As in, he wasn't getting it back. As in, it was gone. Forever and the whole teleporting thing is magic. Right? 

But there's no other way that Loki could have- Wait. No. There was still the portal thing but he hasn't heard that tell tale whooshing sound that portals make and Loki  hadn't  been in the room when he'd entered it, unless he'd been so fucking deep in his thoughts that he didn't-

How the fuck wouldn't he notice the over six feet tall alien god?

The panic  and adrenaline literally make it impossible for Tony to try to think for far longer than he'd like. But Loki is patient as he waits. Tony breathes and he tries to calm down but as he does, the spike of fear hits him. Loki grimaces.

"Is- what happened? Is Stephen alright?" Tony isn't sure whether he should be looking at Loki or at the watch on his wrist as the panic and fear hits him. God, he's such a fucking mess, he can't help but think as the god nods and gives him a small controlled smile.

"Stephen is fine. He is resting. I- I became... concerned when I felt your distress. I do apologise Anthony. If you do not wish for me to be present, I can-" Loki's hesitation is obvious and as he speaks, Tony sees it.

The genuine concern and worry along with a bit of spark and light that he hasn't seen in the god since he'd woken up after bringing Stephen home. Between that and the logical conclusion of how the god got to Japan to begin with and the fact that Loki can feel what he can feel leads to one logical conclusion.

He has his magic back.

Which, Tony will admit, is a good thing. God, it's a good thing. There is no two ways about that. The guilt that he'd felt about Loki giving up something as fundamental as that to save Stephen had been difficult to bear. Least of all because of the way that Stephen had described it.

That losing the magic would have felt like losing a limb, or completely losing one of the five senses. Between that and the fact that the god had already been so broken by everything he'd gone through and that he really didn't need to lose something else? Yeah. Tony is glad that the magic is back.

Except... how?

Did- Tony closes his eyes. Even now, even with Loki here, even with the panic starting to settle and the adrenaline still coursing through his goddamned body, Tony can't help but feel that stupid fucking insecurity and-

"Anthony, I- I can only feel the strong emotions of your distress. But I cannot- do not know the cause of it. If it is my presence that is the cause, I will take my leave, however, if it is not, I would- I do believe that perhaps we should... converse." Loki tells him carefully, hesitating over every single sentence.

Tony looks up at Loki, into those emerald green eyes and he takes a deep breath. His heart rate finally settles. 

He's right, Tony thinks. They do need to talk. In fact, this talk is probably long  overdue . And yes, he has been avoiding it and Loki really hasn't been in a position to be involved in such a conversation and- 

They need to figure this shit out.

They can't- It's not like they can fight over Stephen and the rights to him like he is some sort of chattel to be fought over. No. That would be- stupid. Besides, Tony Stark is a grown up adult and he can handle talking to the god about their relationships like an adult should.

He takes a deep breath and nods.

"Yeah... Yeah. Let's- Let's do that." Tony says as he gets off the bed and moves to sit by the lounge set. The only bit of comfort that he gets as he settles down is the fact that Loki looks just as hesitant and just as worried about the conversation as he is.

But they both know that it is necessary. Both for them and for Stephen. It's about fucking time they laid everything out on the table and come to some agreements because this? Whatever it is they had now? 

It wasn't working. It wasn't healthy and by the gods they can do better. 

As they settle into the chairs and Tony looks into the impossible emerald green eyes, he sees the carefully veiled and disguised pain and fear there and it's- 

It's almost, though it really shouldn't be, a relief to know that Loki feels just as scared, just as insecure and just as fearful of rejection. It also proves one thing that Tony guesses he'd known from the very start. 

They were all idiots. 

~~~

**Tuesday**

**14 June 2011**

This might have  been  a bad idea.

It might not be, but it might be a bad idea, Stephen can't help but think as he slowly opens the portal.

Despite the apprehension and small tendrils of worry and anxiety, Stephen can't help but feel the thrill and joy of being able to work magic without it burning from within him. From being able to feel that sure control that he'd built up asserting itself and from being able to direct and use his magic the way that he'd always been able to.

He has missed it. 

Gods, he can only imagine how painful and difficult it must have been for Loki to have felt  its  loss. Even being out of control, Stephen had still held onto the Connections and the Bonds and even as he had struggled against the vast weight of magic flowing through him and from him, he'd had that to anchor him.

But Loki hadn't. He had lost not just the magic, but the Connections and the Bonds and by extension, any semblance of comfort that could have kept him together. It's a fucking miracle that he'd been able to hold onto his sanity and that speaks of just how strong the god was, really.

Stephen isn't sure if he could have. 

'You know where I am.' The message from Tony had read, or rather, had been read to him by FRIDAY's warm and cryptic voice. But Stephen can almost swear that he'd heard Tony's amused and mischievous voice through  hers . 

It's- Stephen had expected Tony to come home. Clea and the others had flown out to Japan after the deal had been signed and everything had been settled and Stephen had been content to remain at home and to recover.

It may have been an illness created by magic, but the exhaustion that had hit him and had plagued him since the kidnapping in addition to the fevers that had burned through him had taken  its  toll and he had been so exhausted that he could hardly move for the first day.

It's- God, he feels so stupid.

It had been such a logical, if in magic at least, solution hadn't it? If Stephen had been aware of what Loki had done as he had done it, he might have noticed it. 

But as it was, with the way that magic worked and the way that souls worked, as far as Stephen had been able to tell, Loki's Seidr, his magic, had felt like it was a part of him.

He hadn't been able to feel it as a separate entity inside of himself until, well... until his proximity to Loki and the magic's desire to reunite itself with  its  owner had brought about that moment of clarity in him. The fever really hadn't helped that any and neither had the fact that he'd failed to do the very  simple thing of just- Asking for help. 

Tony had been rightfully upset at him about that. Stephen should have told him and the others the moment he realised that something was wrong. 

He should have asked for help from Loki, given the fact that Loki has studied varied forms of magic over the years and if Stephen had just talked to him, they might have- 

Yes. He was most definitely an idiot. 

His body was able to handle the vast amounts of magic that he carried and channelled through the mere fact that it was accustomed to it and so was his mind and his focus. But the addition of Loki's Seidr and the fact that it... functioned fundamentally differently to his magic had- it had been too much for his body and his mind to handle.

No being was meant to carry two sources of magic within themselves. No being was built to be able to handle that amount of power.

Stephen can still almost... feel Loki's lips on his own. Cool and refreshing as the fires that burned inside of him began to settle. It had- It had felt so good to have that relief, to know that it was what he needed, it was what  _ they _ needed.

The guilt and the shame didn't hit him then. The fear had all but faded in that moment and he had been left with nothing but the need to taste more of those lips and to quench the thirst that had been built up inside of him.

And after? Well, Stephen doesn't remember the after. As soon as Loki's magic had passed back to him and as soon as the fever had fallen, he hadn't- He hadn't been able to keep his eyes open.

He'd woken up in the bed that he shared with Tony to Clea's worried eyes and it had- It had taken some time for him to fully understand what had happened and what he had done.

Through the opened portal, Stephen can see the warmly lit, early evening night skies of Kyoto through the open window. It's calm and relaxing and it reminds him of the Kamar-Taj and the rock gardens. 

He had- He had gone to Loki's room that night with the  intention  of sleeping with the god. He had thought that perhaps if their Bond was stronger and more grounded, he could try to focus, that  maybe he could fight back against the magic that had been building up inside of him.

He remembers the fever burning through him and that blinding need and desperation and the knowledge that he needed Loki. He remembers the terror that had shaken his limbs and made his heart race. 

It had only been through the help of the Cloak carrying him there that he'd been able to actually make it to the god's apartment. There are moments of his memories of that night that  are  hazy with the fever and that desperation for something, for someone, for  _ Loki _ to help him. 

But even between that, he remembers the surprise at the god's rebuff. He remembers the devastation he had felt as the god had refused to give him what he had thought he needed in that moment. 

At the same time, he remembers the gratitude he'd felt. That overwhelming sense of gratitude had thawed away some of that fear. It had- he had been able to truly believe for the first time that Loki really  would  not hurt him. Not like that. Not ever again. 

If he had been more coherent in that moment, he would have thanked the god for that. As it is, he hadn't- He hadn't been able to. He had just needed and wanted and- 

Loki had been... kind. He had been gentle. Careful. His every action from the moment Stephen had all but fallen into his arms had been those that had been considered and made on Stephen's behalf with Stephen's well being and with respect for Stephen's wishes and his fears in mind. 

Loki is- Stephen frowns as he steps through the portal. 

Loki is here. He hadn't been at the Tower for some time. Stephen had known that, but the god had been shielding himself and Stephen had thought that perhaps Loki had needed some time away from the Tower. But he was- he was here.

With a wave of his hand, Stephen closes the portal behind him and takes in the room.

It's a stereotypical Japanese traditional inn, a ryokan. It has the woven straw mat floor, the sliding doors complete with the paper linings for the internal doors and sturdy glass for the external. A large sliding window has been left open and looks out into a private courtyard complete with a bubbling hot spring.

Trust Tony to go all out, Stephen thinks fondly as he walks a few paces to where there is  a  low wooden table  that  has been placed and where a cup of tea sits, warm mist rising from it.

Tony's instructions had been clear.

Come to where he is. Make himself comfortable and wait.

They are easy enough instructions to follow. Tony's apprehension and his excitement as well as the arousal had been obvious for some time now. Which has been feeding Stephen's own, obviously.

It's- It has been odd.

After Sunday, Stephen had expected Tony to call, but he hadn't and to be frank, he had been so exhausted that he hadn't been able to stay awake enough for a phone call either. Whenever he did wake, he did feel a tumult of emotions from the Connection he shared with Tony until they settled on Monday afternoon.

If Stephen had been well, he would have portalled to him earlier to check on him. But as it is, when Tony had finally called him on Monday evening, he had seemed calm and he had seemed relaxed and happy.

He also had chosen to go to Kyoto instead of coming home. Which, Stephen will admit, had worried him. If it hadn't been for the quiet conversation they shared, Stephen might have portalled to Kyoto earlier. 

The conversation that they had shared hadn't been an... easy one.

There was a lot of emotions that they still had to deal with, that they still had to process and accept. 

For Tony that was the fear of losing Stephen and the helplessness that he had felt and now that Stephen was well enough, there was also that bite of anger and frustration towards Stephen that raised  its  head. 

Which is fair enough. It had been a wake up call to learn just how terrified Tony had been, how he still remains terrified and Tony's frustration that Stephen had failed to tell him how his focus had been dropping, despite the promises to do so was well... fair enough. 

So yes. The conversation hadn't been easy. 

Especially not when they started to veer off to the topic of Loki. Which was again, a conversation that they've been honestly putting off with only minimal discussions for some time now. 

But Tony had simplified it. The emotions might not be there, other than gratitude and the loyalty and devotion that they feel as a result of the Connection, but the fact is, they need the physical connections and the intimacies. Especially if eventually, Loki will have to return to Asgard. 

The decision had been Tony's to make. It had always been. Stephen isn't- With the way that magic and souls are and the way that he is attuned to them, for Stephen, it is only the residual fear and anxiety along with his concerns about Tony and his emotions that really hold Stephen back. 

From the very first moment, even after what has happened, Stephen's magic had- Stephen's soul and and in essence, Stephen himself had- He had wanted Loki. He might not be willing to admit it and he might be even more loathed to admit that to Tony, but that's how it was. 

Tony is different. 

He feels sexually attracted to Loki, but he admitted freely that he still didn't like the idea of someone else touching and fucking Stephen. That he felt jealous and possessive and that he hated that he did, but that it was the way he felt. 

Once the truth of their attractions and the needs that are obvious between the three of them had been aired, it had- the conversation had taken a turn that Stephen hadn't expected. 

And now this.

Stephen doesn't know what to expect and he doesn't know for how long Tony means to keep him waiting. FRIDAY would have alerted Tony to the fact that Stephen had arrived, pretty much the moment that he did. He knows that.

But there are sounds coming from the other side of the closed partition and from the soft hum of desire and arousal that keeps coursing through Tony, Stephen isn't too concerned.

The only thing that keeps him from fully relaxing as he settles down and curls his trembling hands around the tea cup is... Loki. 

What was the god doing here?

Stephen should have- He should have checked on Loki after. When he'd woken up, he should have talked to Loki and he should have taken the time to make sure that the god's magic had settled properly and that he was doing alright.

But he hadn't. Aside  from  the drowsiness and the exhaustion he'd felt, he had also... felt the guilt  and fear  that won't go away and he hadn't- He hadn't wanted to see Loki.

It wasn't something he was proud of, that avoidance and he does need to be better. To do better, as Tony would say. And he will. He has to, he tells himself.

The magnitude of what Loki has done for him and has experienced as a result of it hasn't been lost on Stephen and he feels all the more guilty for it.

As Stephen thinks and tries to relax, the sliding door opens and Tony steps through, closing the door behind him and Stephen can't help it.

His  his breath catches, his heart skips a beat and he is mesmerised. Like the first time he'd seen Tony, like all the consequent times after that when he'd taken his eyes off of the man for a few minutes even and turned back to see him again. Stephen's eyes are caught and he can't help  the  almost silly smile that comes on his face.

He can't stop his eyes from taking in the caramel brown eyes as they too take him in and they shine with delight, mischief and love. He can't help but drink in the sight of the man wrapped up in the yukata, the sash tied loosely and his half formed erection already obvious.

"God, you are a sight for sore eyes." Tony almost gasps as he speaks and his voice drips with need and desire already and it's enough to send pleasure straight down Stephen's spine despite the fact that just a moment ago, he had been torn between guilt and shame .

He can't help it. Not when Tony looks like he is devouring Stephen with his eyes, not when his eyes are  alight  with such warmth and lust and not when Tony licks his lips just like that.

Fuck.

Stephen feels his mouth going dry as Tony takes the few steps between them. Stephen half rises, moving away from the desk so that he can go to Tony. It's not even a conscious action. But even as he is doing that, Tony too is moving. 

The first kiss that they share, the first kiss  that  they have shared in what feels like far,  _ far _ too long though it has only been days, is tender. It is soft and it is more a greeting, a confirmation, a sigh of relief, than anything else. 

Soft lips touch his and for a long moment, it is just that, lips meeting lips as a calloused hand wraps around the back of his neck and another moves to rest over Stephen's chest. 

"God, I missed you." Tony whispers against his lips and the emotion there, the sheer amount of  _ love _ in that voice is enough to make Stephen gasp and as he does, as he tries to repeat the sentiment, Tony's tongue slips through and the kiss becomes more. 

Still soft and still gentle but there is heat and need behind it and Stephen sinks into the kiss, sinks into the hand supporting him and it is feels- It feels  _ perfect _ . 

It feels and tastes like forgiveness and he can taste the sake on Tony's tongue and it's intoxicating. By the time that Tony pulls away from the kiss, Stephen knows that his eyes are dilated and that he is more than  halfway  there to being fully aroused. 

The desire is well and truly lit between them and it curls pleasantly in his stomach as Tony looks at him, his eyes just as dilated and his breath just as rough. 

"Did you call me here for a booty call Anthony?" Stephen can't help but ask it as he quirks an eyebrow and moves a hand down from Tony's neck down the man's chest, slow and deliberate before laying it against the now hard cock in his hand. 

Tony's eyes flutter as  Stephen’s  trembling and scarred hand makes contact with the clothed hard cock. 

"I missed you. And yes, I may have planned something." Tony tells him and there is just a hint of uncertainty and apprehension that has the light tone Stephen had intended to reply back with slipping. He keeps his eyebrow quirked as he waits for Tony to elaborate. 

Tony straddles him properly, his buttocks laying just above Stephen's hardening cock and his eyes filled with desire and lust warring with uncertainty as he grabs for Stephen's hand and kisses it, pulling it away from his cock. 

Stephen lays back and looks up at his beautiful lover and despite the apprehension, that all too familiar sense of wonder hits him again. He still can't believe that he gets to have this. Have this man. 

"Do you remember what we spoke about?" Tony's voice is just serious enough and just worried enough that Stephen frowns and thinks about getting up, but Tony's weight and the way that he is looking down at him prevents him from doing that.

_ Oh _ , he thinks. 

Of course. Anxiety and apprehension builds up inside of him as the understanding forms. That explains Loki's presence, Stephen thinks. 

"I already told you this, but since you look like you need to hear it again, here it is. I don't blame you. I don't blame him. I don't blame anyone or anything. This might  not  be what we wanted, but this is what we need and want." Tony tells him. 

Tony is right. They are words that had already been spoken but they seem different and more real and firmer now then they had over the phone, even if it had been through a video phone call. 

Stephen feels the understanding dawn and settle inside of him as he finds himself nodding slowly. 

"He needs us, baby. And we need him. I've accepted that, he has accepted that and now you need to accept it as well. And yeah, I'm not going to lie. I am a fucking jealous, possessive bastard and like I said, I don't want to share you with him." Tony tells him and as he does, Tony looks at him with a crooked smile on his face. 

It's the  trademark  Tony Stark smirk and the fondness that goes through him as he sees that, as he recalls their conversations, from the bus, from the night before, it overrides some of the anxiety  and apprehension . 

Because Tony  _ is _ right. 

They are a Triumvirate. Without their souls  _ all _ being in balance and without them  _ all _ accepting the situation and trying to work with each other, they are going to shatter and break and none of them can afford that. 

"But I do want to share  _ him _ with you." Tony's voice drips with suggestion and lust and that thrill and excitement that Stephen adores in the man. 

A sliver of emotion, something like shock and amusement comes through the Connection from Loki, despite the shield. 

That is- Stephen's eyes widen as he realises that Loki is on the other side of the closed paper thin sliding door and he can hear every word being said. 

Stephen feels his heart rate rise but even as it does, so does the understanding and just what the goddamned genius straddling him had been planning. 

Why he had been filled with anticipation and excitement all day. Why he had been burning with arousal even before Stephen had arrived. Why Loki had been shielding himself so tightly. 

Stephen reminds himself to breathe. To remain calm as he looks at his lover, the man that he loves more than life itself and wonders just what the plan is. 

He honestly doubts that Tony is about to put him into a situation that he is uncomfortable and fearful in. He also doubts that it is what Loki would want either. 

Loki needs grounding. Loki needs to be able to build the Bond with them and grow it so that he can feel grounded and safe and have something to hold onto as he works through the demons inside of his mind. 

He needs to know that he isn't alone. That they are there for him and that he can rely on them. Loki needs to stop feeling the guilt over his actions towards Stephen. He needs to stop letting that guilt  that  led him to making decisions that are so catastrophically detrimental to both himself and to them. 

They all- They need to start communicating and working together if they  are  going to survive everything that is coming their way. 

"I'm going to be here the whole time. He's not going to touch you without permission. In fact he is not even going to speak without permission. If at any point, you want to stop, or if you don't want to do this right now, that's completely fine." Tony tells him carefully and gently. 

There won't be judgement. There won't be anything other than warmth and loving comfort, no matter what it is that he decides to do. But- he feels Tony's desire. He feels Tony's apprehension and it's- 

Stephen nods slowly. 

Tony leans down and kisses him softly. This is a step that had been waiting for them. They had both known it and they have both denied it for far too long and as a result, Loki has suffered more and more until his psyche and emotional state had all but shattered. 

But that's not all. There is- There is- Stephen part of that wants this. Deep inside, despite the fears, he has been wanting this for far longer than he is willing to admit and from the way that Tony licks his lips in anticipation, so had he. 

"He's not going to hurt you. I am going  to  be here with you and with him the whole time. This is meant to be fun and pleasurable. If at any point you want to stop, all you need to do is tell me. Okay?" Tony's concern and his care is obvious. 

It is also obvious that the genius has spent most of today and likely have talked to Loki at  length  and planned and prepared for every situation under the sun. Knowing Tony, Stephen doesn't doubt that. 

He might be afraid of Loki, but he trusts Tony implicitly and that- That goes a long way. Stephen takes a deep breath and nods. As he does, Tony captures his lips and kisses him deeply. 

In a minute, they will go to Loki. In a minute, Stephen will hopefully be able to let go of his fear and his anxiety and just indulge and feel the pleasure that Tony and Loki can bring him and he can bring them. 

But for the time being, Stephen loses himself to Tony and the kiss that promises everything and  _ more _ . 

~~~ 


	25. Start of Something New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Loki waits, just a thin paper door between him and his Soulmates, he thinks and reflects. The apprehension is almost unbearable but it is a delicious torture that he has gladly signed up for. 
> 
> It is everything that he has wanted and more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience and understanding over the last couple of weeks since the updates have slowed down due to my inability to write due to my mental health issues. 
> 
> Whilst I am aware that sinking into my own misery and isolating myself into my own head is not the most healthy approach, it is also how I deal with the moments in which I do just need to be in my own head to sort out the issues in there. 
> 
> I apologise for not being around on Discord and writing and being available to talk to all of you. But I promise that I will be back and the work is not being abandoned. I will be spending the next two weeks to fully get myself sorted and to write the chapters ahead so that I can keep up with some sort of an update schedule. 
> 
> Going back to work has been more difficult mentally than I had expected and for the first few weeks it had been kind of good though exhausting but it has become more and more of a reminder of the life that I used to have and the life that I can't have now with my health issues. It... hasn't been easy to realise that. 
> 
> It doesn't help that by country is burning up with all the bushfires and the disasters that has been. 
> 
> At any rate, thank you for your understanding, as I have stated and this chapter is dedicated to Soleil, who gave me the ideas for the smut scene. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and once again... thank you. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Tuesday**

**14 June 2011 **

Oh dear Norns. 

This isn't- This isn't what Loki had thought Tony would ever suggest, nor would be willing to do. But here he is and- oh dear Norns. 

His mouth feels dry both with apprehension and that thin thrill of excitement. There is no guarantee that he will get what he wants tonight. There is no guarantee that he will  _ ever _ get what he wants. But- 

Norns, he had  _ never _ thought Anthony would suggest such a thing. It's- It's far more than what he had expected. 

In fact, he had thought that their conversation would end with an agreement for Loki to respect their relationship and boundaries, accept the platonic warmth that they can offer. Perhaps agree to work on building a working relationship and maybe a friendship. Agree to communicate better, perhaps.

That is the  _ most _ that he had expected. Not- Not this.

Loki had teleported to Tony because he _had_ been concerned but also because- because he had wanted to see if he _could_. It had- getting his Seidr back, getting that part of him back when he had felt that it was- that such a thing was impossible had- It had felt _amazing_. Unbelievable. A blessing that he had never expected to be able to have. 

It had taken away the Void that had been tempting him, that had threatened to drown him and he had felt almost-  _ almost _ like himself. The emptiness and the loneliness he had felt had dissipated and all but fallen away from him and it had been the first moment of true joy he had felt in... what felt like centuries. 

He had gone to speak to Thor before he had gone to Tony. There had been a great deal for which he must apologise for, but Thor had all but waved them away with a wide smile that lit up his eyes with true joy. Joy  _ for _ Loki. Joy that he shared with Loki. It- It has been so long for them to have shared such a joy that it felt- It felt good. 

They had shared a quiet and long conversation about their lives, their emotions and the mistakes that had been made along the way. It had- It had been a long and difficult conversation, but it is one that Loki knows that they will both treasure. 

It won't have solved everything between them. There will still be misunderstandings and there may still be some further heartache left for them and between them, but their fractured relationship has truly began to mend and for that, Loki is... grateful. 

The conversation with Tony had been... just as long and perhaps... more difficult. The pain that Tony carried and the anger that he carrier  were  fresher than those of Thor.

But that part of the discussion hadn't lasted as long as Loki had expected. Instead. Tony had approached their conversation very much with the rationality and logic of a man renowned for his business sense.

Tony's eyes had gleamed with that sharp intellect and that non-compromising negotiation that backed Loki into a corner and made him realise just what kind of man Tony Stark really was.

A man that did not take no for an answer. A man for whom there was  _ nothing _ that he cannot and will not do for those that he loves. A man that well and truly loves Stephen Strange more than anything else in the universe. Not that Loki would ever have said 'no' anyway. 

That is the Tony Stark that Loki met.

He remembers the shock he had felt as Tony had reached out to him. The man had all but climbed into his lap with a wicked smile and gleam in his eyes and kissed him as soon as the agreement had fallen from his lips. 

Soft and gentle, making sure that Loki was willing and accepting. And he had been,  _ Norns _ he had been. The kiss had grown heated and hot and by the time Tony had pulled away, Loki had been dazed and confused and aroused in a way he's not sure if he had ever been before. 

The Bond and Connection had sung between them and it had felt- It had been  _ everything _ that he had wanted and needed and more. Tony had licked his lips, his eyes dilated as he smirked and nodded, mostly to himself. 

Then the plan had been laid out.

Tony was careful, meticulous and detail orientated. By the time that the plan had been told to him and by the time that Loki had all but gaped at Tony, he had briskly gotten on with the business of sorting everything else out.

Making sure that there was a large room booked for himself in the most private corner of the hotel. Making certain that everyone knew that he wants to be alone for the rest of the night and most of all, requesting Loki's silence as he contacted Stephen.

Loki has to admit, he had been surprised that Tony hadn't asked him to leave during that conversation. Instead, he had asked for Loki to stay and listen and he had.

It hadn't- It hadn't been an easy conversation either. But the emotions that flowed between his Soulmates were powerful and Loki had sunk into them, feeling the pleasure of their love and all of the affection. But it hadn't been all lovely.

Even now, there is a mix of emotions that  flows  between both Tony and Stephen as they talk just on the other side of the thin sliding door. 

It isn't that Loki is trapped. He isn't. If he truly wanted to, if he truly desired to be freed, he could be. But that can be stopped by one small expenditure of magic from the Sorcerer Supreme. 

Loki feels the apprehension at that prospect. The prospect of being trapped and helpless. But at the same time, there is a thin thrill that goes through him. The implicit trust that he feels in the presence of his Soulmates helps to ground him and makes him feel safe despite the situation. 

The tight ropes that are curled around him and bind his movements and most importantly his hands, though Tony had been worried, does not make Loki recall the memories of his confinement and torture at Thanos's hands. 

There had been no need for bindings back then. They hadn't needed physical bonds to hold him prisoner. The Mind Stone and  its insidious nature had done the work no physical bonds could ever do. 

Though he had assured the man, Tony had spent the hour tying him in the elaborate knots with the spelled ropes touching him, caressing him and reassuring him that it would take just a few quick pulls in the right locations and Tony could have him unbound and freed within moments. 

That all Loki has to do is tell him a word. 

And that too had been another revelation. Safe words, Tony had spent a great time explaining,  were utilised during bondage situations on Midgard between trusting partners to be able to indicate that they have reached a limit and that they needed to stop. 

Tony had shared his safe word and Stephen's, which, again, had been a revelation. In learning that both of them have chosen names of beings that they had been so hurt by, so damaged by that they would never speak such a name without provocation had led him to choose his own along the same veins. 

As he lays, bound and spread and waits, Loki recalls those words and what they mean and what action is required of him if those words should ever be uttered between them in a sexual context. 

The ropes are soft but tight and they hold him prisoner in a way that he had never experienced before. His arms are tied and raised above his head and held by the Iron Man suit that Tony had activated for that purpose. His knees and raised and held open and the rope that has been curled around his hard cock holds him erect. 

He feels vulnerable. 

But it's the kind of vulnerable that sends spikes  of  arousal and excitement and he feels as if he is on display. As he listens to the conversation that he can't help but overhear through the thin divider between him and Stephen and Tony, he can't help but feel the excitement and desire build further and further inside of him. 

Even if Stephen disagrees, even if Stephen is unable to accept the situation, Tony had stated that he would, with Loki's permission, lay with him. To feel the pleasure of his body and Loki had almost disagreed. He did not wish to be pitied. But when he had seen the raw lust in Tony's eyes, he had agreed. He wanted that. 

He had enjoyed every single moment Tony's hands had touched his body and he had wanted it and craved more of it. The Bond that had just began to form between them thrums with that need and desire and as Stephen's arousal slips through slowly, Loki has to bite his lips not to moan. 

Norns, he wonders what the sorcerer will think when he sees him like this. Will he feel safe with Loki bound and unable to harm him? Will he want Loki the way that Loki wants them? Need him as much as he needs them? 

He doesn't know. 

"But I do want to share  _ him _ with you." Tony says and the mischief, the amusement and the dripping lust in his voice sends shivers down Loki's spine even as he quirks an eyebrow.

So that's what he had meant then, Loki thinks as he recalls Tony informing him that he does not intend to share Stephen with Loki. Coming after the man requesting that Loki bed them, it had seemed an odd thing for him to say, but- Loki fights back the huff of laughter that threatens. 

How like Tony, he thinks. 

He may not know them as well as he knows himself and he may not know them as well as they know each other, but Tony is- He is so,  _ very _ like Loki in many ways. 

That amusement doesn't last for long as Tony makes his assurances and within moments, arousal begins to pour through the Connection from  _ both _ of them. 

Loki can hear the rustle of clothes, the meeting of lips, the quickened breaths. He can hear it all and he can  _ feel _ it all as arousal pours and pulses through the Connections and straight to him. 

Norns, this is- 

It is both better and worse than the previous times when he had felt their arousal. It feels closer and more intimate than those times. This time, Loki has been kissed, aroused and touched by Tony until he had been all but crawling out of his skin. 

It had taken all of his focus to hold up the shield between himself and Stephen as Tony had touched and kissed him and bound him. With that knowledge, with that feeling and those memories, their arousal burns brighter in his body and through his soul then ever before. 

Loki lets out a moan he  hadn't meant to. 

He throws his head back and the tight bonds are the only things that keep him in place and unable to break out of them as he struggles against the lust building up inside of him. 

He almost doesn't even notice the doors being opened. He almost misses the way that Stephen's eyes take him in and the way that Tony presents him as if he is some sort of glorified gift to the Sorcerer Supreme. 

He supposes he is. He doesn't mind. It is what he wants. A gift for them to share. For them to take their pleasure from his body.

Loki barely manages to get his eyes open just in time to see Stephen's grey blue eyes flicker between desire and want and the fear and anxiety. As their eyes meet, as he watches that conflict take place, Loki tries to smile. 

This is the moment, he thinks as he waits for Stephen to step further into the room or leave. Either decision that he makes, Loki is prepared for. 

But in that moment as he waits, Loki drinks in the sight of his beautiful, beautiful Soulmate. Dilated grey blue eyes, flushed cheeks and kissed lips, hair mussed by the fingers Tony must have run through them and his clothes in slight disarray with the all too obvious bulge in his pants. 

Norns, he is a sight to behold, Loki thinks. 

Whatever Stephen decides, Loki won't regret agreeing to this. Because even feeling the way that Stephen's eyes drink him in, as the arousal spikes through the Connection they share, is enough. It's more than enough to know that Stephen  _ does _ want him. That he  _ does _ desire him. 

Stephen closes the door behind himself. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**14 June 2011 **

"So, what are the chances that Tony is sexing up Stephen right now?" Bruce almost chokes on the dango he had been quite happily snacking on as Darcy gives him an innocent look. 

Pepper and Clea roll their eyes as they share a look that speaks volumes. The uncomfortable silence that follows is broken only by Thor nearly choking on his  own sweet and savoury Japanese treat. 

"What? You're all thinking it!" Darcy says as she wriggles her eyebrows and there is just far, far too much amusement in her eyes that Bruce can't help but try to laugh, even as his ears burn. 

He isn't the only one either. 

Jane has gone so red that she  resembles a tomato as she thumps Thor on the back and hands him a glass of tea and Pepper and Clea look as if they are seriously suffering. 

"Let's- Let's just say that we shouldn't expect to see Tony or Stephen any time soon or... maybe at  _ all _ . And that you should stay as far away from their room as possible." Clea suggests with a voice that is far too dry and with a face that is far too red. Pepper nods firmly. 

"Far,  _ far _ away." She suggests as Darcy giggles with delight. Bruce isn't a prude per se. He really isn't. It's just that he's not-

He hasn't had this sort of banter and warm accepting atmosphere and group of friends for a long time and even though he'd gotten used to the dynamics of the group and more importantly, their food preferences, there was just moments when they still managed to surprise him. 

"Can you blame him though? I mean, after everything that's happened, it's a miracle Tony was even able to stay away for so long." Jane says softly, her eyes kind and concerned. Bruce has to agree to that. 

He can only imagine how much of a wreck he himself would have been if someone he loved had been kidnapped and hurt and had continued to be unwell for as long as Stephen had. He certainly wouldn't have been able to leave their side, but that was him. 

Tony was stronger than he was and apparently, far more responsible than what even he had given the man credit for. It was a good thing that Loki has managed to get his magic back and was able to go back to get Stephen. Not that they knew  _ how _ all of that happened.

"That's fair. But honestly, Stephen's just gotten better right? You sure we shouldn't be doing an intervention?" Darcy asks and as she does, Bruce notices that despite the near sleazy tone of voice and the suggestive wriggle of her eyebrows, she is genuinely concerned about Stephen. But Clea rolls her eyes. 

"No. Because you're going to see far, far too much that you can't unsee and more than that, Tony would never do anything to hurt Stephen." Clea's words are confident as she speaks. 

"How about we see some of the sights tomorrow?" Pepper suggests and from the almost desperate look in her eyes, she seemed like she wanted a topic change more than anything else. Bruce can sympathise with that. 

"I wouldn't mind that. I've never been to Japan." Bruce admits as Darcy excitedly claps her hands, sufficiently distracted. Thank God, he thinks as Pepper gives him a relieved smile.

Darcy smoothly takes over the reigns to explain where they could go and what is the best to see in Kyoto, clearly having  done her research, even as she admits that she too has never been to Japan before. 

It has honestly been a whirlwind, Bruce has to admit. He'd been happily getting himself used to the lab he'd been given to work in by Tony and Pepper and he had been going over the list of the lab techs and so forth when he'd gotten the news about going to Japan. 

From that moment, it had been  a chaos of phone calls, messages and packing bags and he hadn't even had the chance to tell anyone he didn't know where his passport was before he had been thrown onto a private plane and they had landed in Japan. 

It turned out that Alexander Winters, being the legal equivalent of Tony, apparently, had worked out with the Japanese Government to allow him and Thor and Loki access to Japan for two weeks on a tourist visa without requiring any further paperwork. 

Which is- which honestly should have been impossible, but apparently the Japanese Government, despite the issues with the whole Clean Energy Initiative was willing to agree as long as Thor, Bruce, Loki and Tony agreed to sign on to promising their aid to Japan in the case of an emergency like  the one faced by New York. 

Whilst Japan has already signed the New York Accords and have agreed to negotiate with the rest of the worlds' government on a deal with the Asgardians, they were keen to forge a deal with the 'Avengers' too. Which honestly? Bruce didn't mind. 

Alexander Winters on the other hand, had the headache of actually coming up with a contract, but he had assured them that it would not be a one sided agreement. Not that Bruce had been too worried. And Gina had mentioned something about keeping it out of the media so there was that. 

Tony had good staff working for him and with him and better than that, they have earned his trust and respect from the way that they have handled him, his contract with Stark Industries and his problems with the military. So, yeah. Bruce figured it was going to be alright. 

Thor too had been on board, as had Loki, when he eventually joined them on the plane, moments before they landed in Kyoto. 

Bruce nods and smiles along with what Darcy is saying as the others contribute. He is happy enough to go with the flow of the group as he remembers the welcome that they'd received at the airport. 

He had expected just Tony, Pepper and Darcy along with Alexander and Gina and their team, but what had actually waited for them was an official governmental welcome from the Japanese Government, complete with limousines and the rather formal luncheon with the officials and ambassadors. 

It had been pleasant, though he had felt distinctly out of place. Pepper's warm presence next to him had kept him calm and smiling through the whole affair. He honestly isn't sure what he would have done without her being there. 

"So that's the plan then! Fantastic! So, who's up for another round of sake?" Darcy asks with her excitement and exuberant smiles and it's enough to snap Bruce out of his thoughts. 

He really should have been paying more attention, but then what can go wrong with a sightseeing trip around Kyoto? It will be fine, he thinks as he looks around at the smiling and excited faces of his friends and can't help but smile with them. 

He's... going to regret that. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**14 June 2011**

The kiss is  _ hungry.  _

He doesn't even know how many of them that they had shared so far. The night has gone on for far longer than even he had anticipated and the room feels too fucking hot despite the fact that it's air conditioned. 

The cool air and even the cooler skin of Loki as he writhes underneath him does  _ nothing _ to quench the heat inside of him. He moans desperately into the lips that are claiming his and for a moment, he's not even sure who is touching him, who is fucking him and who is kissing him. 

It- It starts to not matter. 

It had started slow. It had started with soft kisses and gentle touches, just to remind Stephen that he was safe and that Loki was not going to hurt him. 

The soft lights in the room, along with the way that the Arc Reactors from both his chest and the Iron Man suit had glowed and illuminated them as they had explored each other's bodies. 

Stephen had been hesitant at first. But that hadn't lasted long. Tony knows that though this time Stephen was okay with this and that he wasn't afraid, the next time, he might not be and that was okay. This time at least, Stephen had been hesitant, but interested. 

Tony had coaxed Stephen with his dirty, dirty words, to explore Loki's body. He had watched as the god blushed and flushed as he explained how he had taken over an hour to pull the god apart, to bind him in the dark red and gold ropes that were so amazingly beautiful against his pale skin. 

The first touch had been the most difficult one. Tony encouraging and coaxing the whole way, Stephen had reached out and touched Loki and it had been with hands that trembled and shook and hesitated. 

With their hands joined and moving together, Tony and Stephen had explored Loki's body. Stephen had confirmed with Loki that he wanted this, that he wanted them and that he would say the safe word if he needed to. 

With that agreement, Stephen had surged forward and captured Loki's lips and from then it had... escalated pretty goddamned quickly. 

Tony has had a... very colourful sex life before he went to Afghanistan and before he met Stephen. A..  _ very _ colourful sex life. And even without the clones and all of those wonderful experiences, he  _ has _ felt the pleasure of having multiple sexual partners in bed at the same time. 

But this was a whole new thing. 

Tony had thought that perhaps it would be awkward and difficult given the relationship that he already shares with Stephen. But it hadn't been. In fact, it had felt exciting and new to have Loki there with them, bound and held and moaning and responding so beautifully to their touches. 

It had felt good to strip Stephen of his clothes and to kiss him and worship him as he had done so. It had felt even better to know that Loki was watching them, the emerald green of his eyes just a sliver of a ring around the black, dilated pupils. 

It had been so arousing and amazingly gratifying to watch as Stephen's anxieties faded and he began to well and truly enjoy himself as he asked for Loki to be moved so that he can be laid down and out for them. 

Tony had complied with a few quick commands sent to the Iron Man suit holding the god up and once Loki had been laid out, well. That had been quite a sight.

Stephen had kissed Loki, he had explored Loki's body even as Tony explored Stephen's, a constant reminder with his words and his touches that he was there and that Stephen was doing very, very well. 

Tony isn't even sure for how long they did that, just kissing and touching each other and Loki as they got themselves settled and into a rhythm and an understanding of Loki's body and the dynamics of having another joining them. 

Loki had laid there, moaning and writhing deliciously, flushed with his eyes completely dilated. He looked and looks so beautiful that it had been almost too easy to accept him into their bed. It had felt- It had felt so fucking amazing. 

Loki had been so tight, his insides burning despite the coolness of his skin and it had felt so fucking good to work his fingers in and out of that tight heat as Stephen had worked his own fingers  in  Tony. 

The liberal amounts of lube had stained the futon beneath them, but none of them cared as they kissed and they moved. 

Tony remembers entering Loki for the first time and watching as the god's eyes all but rolled back into his head as he threw his head back and cried out even as Stephen ran a gentle hand down Loki's stomach and watched with heavy eyes. 

It honestly hadn't lasted very long. 

Tony had been so fucking aroused and needy by the time that he finally started to fuck into the god that he hadn't been able to stay buried in that heat for long. But it had been long enough and Tony is honestly grateful that Stephen knew enough about shibari that he'd been able to undo the knots that held Loki's orgasm back and given him the release that he had been desperate for. 

It had been a hard orgasm that had hit them both hard and fast and the cries that they had all but shouted out might have echoed through the goddamned mountains throughout Kyoto.

It's Stephen, unspent but his eyes filled with affection and pleasure that had untied Loki and made sure that the  circulation  hadn't been cut before Loki had all but crawled to Stephen and begged. 

The fucking god had  _ begged _ with such a fucking beautiful voice for Stephen's cock in his mouth and it had been so fucking filthy and beautiful that Tony had felt his cock trying to stir minutes after coming inside of Loki. 

The fact that Loki was a  _ god _ , one that has an entire culture of people telling tales of him for centuries and that he is a Prince of his own race of people had only added to the thrill and the sensuality of the situation as he had knelt there by Stephen's feet and had  _ begged _ for Stephen's cock to be put into his mouth. 

Tony was going to be remembering that moment for a long time, he thinks as he moans as powerful hips pump into him and out of him and he's so fucking full he feels like he is about to burst. 

The thrust of hips propels him forward and buries him even deeper into the willing and plaint body in front of him and he pants as he clings desperately onto the cool, refreshing skin underneath him. 

The sounds that fill his senses  are obscene. Flesh hitting flesh with each and every single thrust, the squelching of lube and bodily fluids between them, not to mention the moans and the pants that litter the air. 

It is- God it is almost too much. 

Almost. 

Tony scrambles for purchase as he locks his lips onto Loki's and drinks in the god's moans as he lets them out. He swears he can still taste Stephen on the god's tongue as they kiss, dirty and sloppy as they struggle to breathe. 

Loki is flushed bright red with the heat that leaks from his kisses and tightens around Tony's cock as Stephen fucks hard into him and by extension, into Loki. 

Stephen's trembling and scarred hands are gripping at Tony's hips even as every now and then, they leave him to caress Loki's thighs, pulling trembling moans from the god each and every time. 

It feels good. It feels right and amazing and it makes him wonder why the fuck he'd hesitated so long to let this happen. Why he had been so burned by jealousy and possessiveness when they could have enjoyed this for such a long time. 

That's the lust talking of course. 

Tony knows that even after all this, they might not be able to take the steps forward in their relationship. That Stephen's fears and anxieties might  raise its head or that Loki's guilt and regret and his demons might or Tony's jealousy and possessiveness and his own fears and insecurities might. 

But that's fine. 

Loki may be a god but he is also so very human and just as flawed as them and just as broken as they are. They are going to stumble and they are going to make mistakes. They might take a few steps back before they can move forward again. 

And that's okay. 

Because this moment, when they are moaning and crying out and feeling each other's bodies and feeling safe and comfortable and aroused feels so fucking right and perfect that it's- 

It feels like everything is going to be alright. 

"Oh God, To-Tony I- I can't-" Stephen pants out between the moans as his hips start to lose their rhythm and fucks into him harder than before and Tony can only moan as he lets his body collapse into Loki's waiting arms and just take the pleasure that his lover gives him. 

Loki's cool hands runs down Tony's back and curls around his hips and they intertwine with Stephen's carefully and as they do, as they do, there is just a bit of hesitation, as there had been all night, but it doesn't last long and with a powerful grip, Loki pulls and pushes at Tony's hips in a way that only a god with his strength can and- 

"Fuck!" Tony has just a moment to let out a cry before he comes hard, so fucking hard that  his  vision whitens. 

He barely notices Stephen coming inside of him, filling him with that delicious heat that he adores before he collapses over Tony's back, breathing hard as Loki supports both of them and runs careful and calming hands down their bodies. 

Tony can feel Loki's hard cock against his stomach, but for a moment, he can't do anything about it. He is too far gone into the pleasure and the afterglow and the exhaustion to move a finger. 

Eventually, it's Loki that encourages them to move and to settle down. He carefully moves Stephen and Tony and lays them down before he goes to the bathroom and grabs a towel to wipe them down and to soothe them. 

Stephen curls into Tony's chest and after a lazy, slow kiss that is both calming and affirming, his eyes stutter closed and his breathing evens out. Tony chuckles softly as he cards his fingers through Stephen's hair as Loki watches. 

"Come here Rudolph. Let me take care of you." Tony mumbles to the god as Loki hesitates. 

"Anthony, there is no need to-" Loki starts to say but Tony raises an eyebrow at him and firmly pats the futon next to him. 

"Please." Tony says and Loki complies after a moment and Tony gestures and pulls weakly at the god with limbs that feel like  they have been turned into noodles, the god does eventually settle so that he is laying sideways next to Tony and Tony can get his hand on the god's hard cock. 

"You were so good for us Loki. So beautiful, so perfect. Such a wonderful gift for us to share." Tony tells the god and  watches  as he sees the god's eyes widen and fill with emotions. Ah, right on the money, Tony thinks. 

Loki isn't used to BDSM the way that Stephen and Tony are. He knows the joys of bondage and he knows that pain can be pleasurable but Asgardians, it seemed, weren't very particularly... experimental when it came to sex. 

What Loki does know and has learnt had been through the other realms in the Nine Realms and his exposure had been limited. But he was a quick learner and Tony had a feeling that getting to know all of the god's kinks as Stephen and he show him the joys and the relaxation that such acts could bring is... going to be glorious fun. 

Besides, the agreement for the time being was simple. Loki was not going to be fucking Stephen. Not until Stephen's fears have subsided. But that wasn't the only reason why Tony had bound up Loki and had asked him to submit to them. 

Loki needed affection. 

Loki  needed assurances that he would be taken care of, that he was appreciated and that he would be safe with them. He also  needed  to trust them and he  needed  to trust himself with them. And in turn, they need to trust him and appreciate him and learn to at the very least, become fond of him if not love him. 

And from the way that Loki's eyes had dilated at the idea of being bound, Tony had recognised just enough of that need to submit inside of him that it hadn't been all that difficult to read at least some of the god's kinks. 

"Did you enjoy yourself Loki? Did you like us filling you up and taking care of you and touching you? God, You made us feel so good Loki." Tony continues the litany  of praises and as he does, Loki's head curls into his shoulder and his hand grips the pillow above him and Tony smiles as he moves his hand faster and faster along Loki's cock. 

Which, by the way, is a  _ beautiful _ cock. Perfect length, perfect thickness and it feels hard and heavy in Tony's hand and his mouth waters at the thought of being able to suck on it. 

But at the same time, he is all too aware of Stephen's cooling body covering his and the fact that the doctor needs the rest. 

"I adore your cock Loki. One day, I am going to tie you down and make you beg as I ride you. Would you like that?" Tony asks him as he draws one of the god's hands down between his thighs and between his legs where his hole is still loose from the hard fuck Stephen had given him. 

The moan that is ripped out of Loki is all the answer that Tony needs as he smirks and continues to jerk Loki off until he comes hard all over Tony's stomach. 

The god slumps against him and curls into Tony as if he is  _ everything _ that Loki needs to hold himself together and Tony can't help it. 

He moves Loki's all too pliant and trembling body into his arms and holds him and Stephen as the cum cools on his stomach. 

Tony feels the warm wetness against his naked shoulder, but he doesn't comment on it as he slowly cards his fingers through Loki's sweat soaked hair until he calms and no more tears wet his shoulders and the god falls into  a deep sleep. 

He's not quite sure what the morning is going to bring them. He's not sure how Stephen is going to react to having Loki with them when he wakes up. He isn't even sure how he was going to feel in the morning himself. 

But for the time being, as he lays there, the firm weights of both Stephen and Loki curled around him and into him, he feels... satisfied. 

He feels right. 

They have a fair ways to go and there  are  bound to be more problems than solutions, but it's fine, he can't help but think. They have taken the first step and it had been a very...  _ pleasurable _ step. 

Tomorrow, they might talk more. They might indulge in more sex and learning each other's bodies before they let themselves fall into the emotions and the difficult conversations. Maybe. 

Either way, Tony knows that tonight, for the first time in what feels like has been far, far too long, he knows that he's going to be able to sleep peacefully. 

That tonight, no nightmares will touch them. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**14 June 2011 **

"You alright?" Jane asks him softly as she curls up into his arms. 

Her naked body feels warm and luxurious against his and he holds her tight as he dares in his arms as he looks out into the beautiful night skies. This far in the mountains, he can actually see the stars. 

The view from the Tower had been wonderful. 

Knowing that as he had worked, as Tony had worked and as they had worked, the City had been recovered and the people contained therein recovered had been wondrous. But at the same time, he had missed seeing the stars in the night skies. 

In his mind's eyes, Thor can see the souls throughout the ryokan. He can see and feel the warmth of Jane's gentle, kind and determined soul. He can see and feel the others too. 

Darcy and Clea's powerful and bright souls. He can see Pepper's loving and kind soul.  He  can see Bruce's torn and divided soul held together with determination and the odd truth that is his identity as the Hulk. 

But the souls that he looks for and focuses on aren't  theirs . 

No. He focuses on Loki's soul. The soul that he had been watching over as it broke and shattered only to pull itself together in the last moment before it disappeared. He had watched Tony's and Stephen's unstable souls as they shook and broke and shattered with Loki's. 

But tonight, they are stable. They are settled and they are slowly but surely healing. Thor breathes a sigh of relief as he holds Jane in his arms and relaxes. 

It has been... difficult. Watching Loki suffer, unable to do anything other than to be there and to be the target of his anger and to hold him as he broke down and cried. But he doesn't regret it. 

He doesn't regret being there, despite the pain that it had caused. He doesn't regret holding Loki as he had cried despite the fact that his heart had broken each and every time. It had- Yes, it had been difficult but it was the only thing he could do and it was... penance. 

All of Loki's angry words hadn't been spoken  _ just _ in anger but in truth. They were words that Loki had held back for centuries. They were words that Thor had deserved to hear. The anger and the hate he received had been deserved. 

And as a result, Thor hopes that they can rebuild the relationship that had been broken by the centuries and the hardships that he had turned a blind eye to. He hopes that eventually, he can earn the forgiveness that he desperately longs for. 

He hopes that they can once again become family, now with Jane, Stephen and Tony included, as well as Darcy, Bruce, Clea and Pepper, of course. 

Odin may have raised them to feel jealous of each other and each other's abilities. But they can get past that. They can grow past it and learn to work together and use their abilities and their strengths to protect those that truly matter to them.

It might not be today or tomorrow or even years from now. But Thor hopes and prays to the Norns that one day, they will find the peace that they need and the family that they will love. 

"I love you Jane." Thor whispers quietly as Jane mumbles the words back to him, her voice heavy with sleep. He smiles and kisses her forehead as he  feels  secure in the knowledge that Loki will sleep in peace tonight ; Thor closes his eyes. 

It feels like... the start of something new. 

~~~ 


	26. Just... Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There isn't anything that a man that can turn into a huge hulking monster should fear right? Unfortunately, everyone has fears and Bruce is no exemption. 
> 
> Still, it does lead to a moment of quiet and pleasantries that he will treasure. 
> 
> Meanwhile, for Tony, Stephen and Loki, they explore and discover each other and in doing so, hopefully discovers themselves and something to hold them all together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Greetings, my long suffering readers. 
> 
> Once again, apologies for the delay. There will be a few more I fear, though I have started to write again and not hate everything I write. 
> 
> It has been a very... hectic week for me this week as I have had to juggle work (with increased hours), family (since it's almost Christmas and they will be wandering around Europe during that time, I've been made to put in 'family time' a lot this week) and on top of it all, issues with my kitchen floor and the continuing road works. Joys. 
> 
> Honestly, if the road works don't settle the fuck down soon and I can't get a full, proper night's sleep soon, I'm going to have a completely fucked up napping and sleeping schedule (though I already have that issue since I sleep 12+ hours a day at the moment). 
> 
> My mental health is starting to settle down a bit and I am having to remind myself again and again to leave work and the stresses of it at work and to focus on my health and myself and what makes me happy each day until I can actually do it. It's odd, because work stress never used to get to me, but right now I guess I'm more fragile mentally than I have been before and everything seems to get me upset and stressed in ways that it hadn't before. 
> 
> I guess it's another thing to work on. 
> 
> As it is, apologies for the long rant about my life and the drama that it is and I hope that you enjoy the chapter and I promise that the next chapter will be up on Monday and that for the next little while, we will be on weekly updates until I can get a backlog of chapters built up. 
> 
> Thank you for your lovely words and support. You keep me going. 
> 
> <3

**Wednesday **

**15 June 2011 **

Honestly, they should have noticed that something was wrong a lot sooner. 

Bruce isn't the most animated guy at the best of times, but he had been almost pensive and quiet as  they meandered their way up the mountain. 

But they had been so caught up in their excitement and their admiration of the view and the mountain itself that they hadn't noticed. Gods, Pepper thinks as she looks over at the pale and almost shaking man. 

Who would have thought it? Pepper can't help but think with amusement mixed with concern as Bruce goes pale and walks backwards until Darcy has to catch him and stop him, lest he falls off the mountain. 

"Monkeys?! You're scared of monkeys?!" The incredulous note in Darcy's voice isn't mocking. It is a tone of true surprise as she stops Bruce from walking backwards off the cliff face and off the Monkey Mountain. 

They are all pretty sure that he'd survive the fall but it's not worth risking it. Jane, who had been happily chatting with their English speaking guide, turns to ask if Bruce is okay. 

Since Tony hadn't added Japanese to his Universal Translator in time for the trip, they had hired a guide and they too looked torn between being amused that Dr Bruce Banner had gone pale as a ghost at the sight of monkeys and concerned for him. 

The politeness inherent and enforced by the Japanese culture has the guide, Meiko smiling hesitantly as she suggests that maybe they leave, but Bruce shakes his head. 

"It's- It's fine. I'll just- I'll just stand over here whilst you guys- um-" Bruce hesitates as Darcy frowns at him and Pepper can't help it. 

She too is torn between amusement and surprise and concern, initially, but seeing the normally calm and relaxed doctor going pale settles her into concern and the decision is almost too easy to make. 

Pepper walks over to Bruce and gives him a smile that she hopes he will find comforting. 

"I'm not too fond of them either. How about you and I start making our way down and the rest of you guys can catch up with us?" Pepper suggests. 

This had been one of the locations that Thor and Darcy had been looking forward to the most. 

The idea of an area of the mountain in Kyoto with a fantastic view out into the ancient city and the surrounding nature complete with monkeys free roaming and being able to interact with them had been far too attractive to pass upon. 

But it's not worth Bruce's discomfort. 

"I- I'll be fine if-" Bruce says but Pepper gives him a firm shake of the head, links her arm into his and waves to the others. 

"We'll be at the cafe at the bottom of the mountain. Meet us there when you are done!" Pepper calls out to the others as they hesitate. But eventually, they nod and Thor thumps Bruce on the shoulder before he excitedly moves to the monkeys, delighted when they approach and hold out their hands for the peanuts Jane had purchased. 

That is going to be a sight that Pepper is definitely going to remember fondly, she thinks as she sees Darcy whipping out her camera and pulls Bruce away. There isn't any hesitation in Bruce anymore as he lets her pull him down the mountain and quickly out of the sight of the monkeys. 

The thing is, phobias are irrational and they can be linked to traumatic memories and the last thing that Bruce needs is to forcibly try to expose himself to that phobia without preparation. But she understands why he had continued to climb the mountain with them. 

This was- this trip was turning into something of a bonding exercise. A... family vacation, as Darcy had called it. 

Already, they had gone through the wonderful Bamboo Forest and  had  stood there, mesmerised as the thickets of bamboo had opened up to the sight of the river and the mountain of Arashiyama. 

It had been magical to stand there with the group, sharing that moment of wonder and admiration of the beauty of nature before them.  It  had been a sight that Pepper had seen before, but it had felt different to experience it again with them. 

She loved the gasp that Clea had let out as they had walked through the forest, the way that Darcy even forgot to take photos for awhile as they stopped at the small shrines along the way and the way that Bruce had tried to study the bamboo as their guide had stood and smiled, watching their wonder with joy and pride. 

Thor's admiration and gushing as he spoke of never having seen such a beautiful forest in his life had been wonderful, as had the comment that Meiko had quietly made about Arashiyama being the mountain of storms. 

It had been a wonderful day so far and Pepper wanted to make sure that it stayed that way. Especially for Bruce. 

Whilst Thor had been focused on Loki and his well being and Jane had worried about him and in turn Darcy had worried about her, and of course Clea had been worried about Stephen and well Tony was- 

In  other  words, there had been a chain of worried people and all of them being idiots because of their emotions and barely being able to look after themselves and Bruce had been the one that quietly supported all of them. 

He  was  the one that made sure that everyone had food, cooking up storms in the kitchen whilst he took on little tasks to help out and to do what he could to ease the difficulty everyone was suffering through. 

Given that their private spaces and the common apartment, which Pepper honestly should consider fixing up so that it does become a better common space for them,  _ was _ kept mostly private with only Eliza and Finn being able to enter them mostly when they aren't there to clean and look after the space, Bruce had been- Honestly, without Bruce,  they  might all have starved. 

He had been the silent rock that quietly provided support without a word of complaint and without leaning on others and they all knew it, and though they'd tried to show their appreciation, it had been difficult due to Bruce's reserved nature. 

"It is quite beautiful isn't it?" Pepper asks as they slowly walk down the well trodden mountain path. Their guide had said that the climb would take 25 minutes. But it had taken them almost 45 minutes just because it had seemed like a waste to hurry the process.

That and the heat of course. 

It is the middle of summer in Japan and the heat is cloying and though the sun in itself isn't burning per se, it is difficult to breath sometimes and Pepper can feel the thin shirt that she is wearing starting to stick to her like  a  second skin. 

"It is. That's why I made the climb. I- I thought I would be okay." Bruce says quietly, though there is still lingering fear in his voice. Pepper smiles at him warmly as they arrive at a viewing platform that they had stopped on the way up. 

"Are you sure you don't want to be with the others? I- I don't mind." Bruce tells her quietly as they look out into the beautiful mountain and lake view. 

"If you don't mind the company, I would rather stick with you, Dr Banner." Pepper tells him with a warm smile as she turns to look at him, their eyes meet and her heart skips a beat. Which- Oh. 

Pepper keeps the smile on her face until they decide to keep walking. It's a slow meandering walk and as they make the trip down, Bruce starts to talk quietly about why he wasn't fond of monkeys. 

Pepper hadn't asked and she didn't need him to tell her, but she is glad that he is trusting her with the information and that he is comfortable enough with her to tell her the story of the experiments that had led him to become the Hulk and the experiments that they had conducted on monkeys before hand. 

Bruce's tone tells her that it is a difficult story to share and that he is deeply ashamed of the animal experiments as much as he has been traumatised by how it had turned out. She's not surprised. 

As they talk and walk slowly down the mountain, Pepper is glad that she'd chosen to stay with Bruce and suggest the climb down. His breathing eases and the colour returns to his face as the topic of discussion moves on from the monkeys into something more pleasurable. 

Like the next site that they were going to see. Bruce's tone becomes animated as Pepper tells him about her first visit to Kyoto and the tension starts to fade from his eyes and shoulders. 

Later, when she's alone, Pepper is going to have to think about her heart skipping a beat and the warmth in Bruce's eyes but for the time being, Pepper focuses on being the friend that Bruce needs. 

The beautiful view certainly helps. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**15 June 2011 **

They talk. 

Not as much as they probably should, but they do talk. Whilst they eat the lovely kaiseki course meal that has been placed before them by the friendly staff at the ryokan, they do talk. 

Tony does most of the talking. 

They had woken up curled up together on the futons and to even his own surprise, Stephen hadn't felt the overwhelming fear he had expected. There was underlying discomfort and a slow build up of anxiety, but it hadn't been the full blown anxiety and panic and fear that he had been worried about. 

And that was all thanks to Tony. 

He became the shield and the negotiator and the mediator between them. He is the one that had kissed both of them good morning and had ordered the breakfast to be brought to the room before he had suggested that they all clean up and dress in the yukatas provided by the inn. 

The others had already been gone by the time they'd woken up. Off to explore the environments of Arashiyama, but they were content to stay at the inn and to... talk. 

It had been necessary. 

They had to get on the same page and form the rules and agreements to make sure that everyone understood where they stood, what was acceptable and what wasn't so that they can minimise the misunderstandings and miscommunications later. 

Tony had led the conversation. He had directed it, he had laid out the rules and they had talked and negotiated and Stephen has to admit that he is- He is truly surprised by how well Tony was dealing with the situation. 

Tony had become the buffer through which Stephen can interact with Loki and it had helped. The Bonds and the Connections between them were starting to settle and it was- It felt good. 

Stephen had almost forgotten what it feels like to be... settled. To be stable. To feel that innate peace and calm and it feels so fucking good. He feels like he can finally... relax. He feels not whole exactly, but he feels like that is on the horizon. 

And it's even better now as the Connection and the Bond purrs between them all as he leans against the ledge of the hot spring as Tony's hard cock teases at his entrance under the water. 

Loki's cock fills his mouth and as Stephen takes him in deeper and deeper into his throat, he feels Loki's thighs trembling as the god looks down at him with wonder and lust through his eyelashes. 

God, this isn't what they had planned. It really- It really hadn't been. But after all of the talking had been done and the ground rules had been laid out, the heat had been palpable in the air. 

And between himself and Loki, the Connection and the Bond had sung and coaxed at them. Begged them to make a deeper connection. To let it build and settle more. It- It really had been rather inevitable and of course,  _ of course _ , Tony had read all of that on their faces. 

Of course, he'd suggested that they 'relax' in the hot spring in the private  courtyard  that was attached to their rooms and of course, once they had taken off the yukatas and once they had felt the pleasant heat of summer mixing with the heady heat of the hot spring, it-  it  really had been a foregone conclusion. 

Loki had hesitated. 

Stephen has a feeling that he will continue to hesitate over and over again for a long time until he can feel confident with them. Because it's not just about Stephen's fear of Loki. 

No. It's Loki's fear of himself. 

Stephen can see it and understand it because he had felt the same things before. That fear of the power inside of them, of that  _ something _ inside of them that might just go out of control one day and hurt the very things that they need the most and love the most. 

So each time that Loki reaches out to touch them, he isn't only reading their expressions and hesitating as he asks with his gestures for permission to touch them, but also checking with himself. Making sure that whatever is inside of him isn't the one that is reaching out. That it is  _ him _ that is touching them. 

The rules were simple and logical. 

Loki would join them when invited for sexual encounters. At other times too, he would be welcomed to join them. At the lab or in the library. He would always ask first and he would only touch them with permission. 

Those were the rules that Loki had suggested. 

It had- Loki's need to earn their trust, to prove himself trustworthy to them had been- it had been heartbreaking. Stephen had felt that desperation and that need in Loki and he realised the full extent of the damage that his fear and his anxieties  had  done to Loki and his sense of self. 

It had taken some doing and quite fast talking from Tony to work out how they were going to work the relationship. At the end of the day, there isn't- They don't  _ know _ Loki well enough to love him. Not yet. 

The sex is separate. Sex and love can go hand in hand but it doesn't have to. And the sexual acts between them  are  both grounding and thus necessary for both Loki and Stephen but at the same time, it isn't an act of love. It is an act of lust. 

But touching each other and learning each other's bodies can lead to building a trust between each other as they work and build the relationships between them and maybe the love will grow between them too. It may or it may not. But the intimacy will be good, as long as they can keep to some of the basic rules. 

It helps that Stephen doesn't- He doesn't feel jealousy when it comes to Loki and Tony sharing intimacies together. It helps that he can  _ feel _ Tony's love at all times. But it's not so simple for Loki. 

Loki... feels some of the jealousy, not because of either Stephen nor Tony but of the love that is between them and that is an issue that unfortunately, that is going to take time to deal with. 

Tony's jealousy is an issue that ties in with Stephen's fears and it is all too easy for them to agree that until those fears fade and until they have been able to build the trust between them, the intimacies will stay between the three of them or with Tony and Loki as needed.

It's not perfect and it isn't foolproof, but it is a plan and it is the best that they have for the time being. 

Slowly but surely, they will- 

Stephen's thoughts, as circling as they had been going through his mind as he suckles on Loki's cock and as Tony touches and kisses his body, comes to a complete halt as Tony's finger breaches him and with it, the hot spring water enters him. 

The cry that is ripped from his throat as he feels the hot water enter him as he is opened up to it is loud enough that Stephen feels almost embarrassed by it. 

It is the middle of the day. They might have the privacy of the high fences in the courtyard, but they are still outdoors and there are Tony's employees walking about the inn and the staff as well and- 

"I suppose I should inform you that I have taken the liberty of placing wards around the room and the courtyard." Loki says quietly in a relaxed and almost drawling tone and Stephen looks up at him as Tony's fingers, slick with oil invades his body. 

Stephen holds onto Loki's thighs and tries to keep his eyes open so that he can look at the god and when he sees him, Stephen's heart stops for a moment. 

There it is, he thinks. There, in Loki's eyes there is a spark of that mischief, that hint of confidence bordering on arrogance and it's- This is the Loki that Stephen had wanted to meet. This is the Loki that they had been waiting to meet and get to know. 

It's- Stephen lets the shield drop. The shield that keeps them from being overwhelmed by the arousal loop that can render them incoherent and as he does, he sees Loki's eyes  widen  with surprise. 

Stephen pulls at Loki until the god is in the water with him, until he is no longer sitting on the ledge but in the water and Stephen can reach, even half bent over as he is and kiss the god. 

Tony kisses his shoulder and continues to finger him slowly, letting the hot spring water fill him and even as his fingers move in and out of him as Stephen kisses Loki and tries to tell the god the things that he doesn't know quite how to say. 

He just lets the kiss and the emotions flowing through him do the talking as he kisses the god and trembles against Loki's cool hold as Tony continues to work his fingers deep inside of Stephen. 

"Oh God, the two of you make a pretty picture." Tony comments, his voice thick with desire and lust and Stephen breaks the kiss to turn around to look at him and he hopes that his eyes can do all the talking that he needs because he can't. 

He feels so filled with emotion that even he can't explain. Something like nostalgia but not quite and something like gratitude but also not quite. It's- It's as if he has been missing someone that he has never met and in meeting them, he feels as if he has been waiting for so long and- Tony gets him. 

He always does. 

"Loki, do be a dear and hold onto the good doctor for me, will you?" Tony asks and the intent in his voice, in the way that he grips Stephen's hips and the way that Loki moves so that he is back on the ledge and as he reclines against the rock seemingly made for that purpose, Stephen is pushed forward into Loki's waiting arms as Tony's enters him in a smooth thrust. 

Gods. 

If Stephen hadn't been loose from the night before, if the hot waters and the emotions hadn't relaxed him, he would have felt pain. But as it is, he doesn't. The stretch is there and Stephen pants as he tries to adjust and keep his footing as Loki pulls him close and runs his long artistic fingers through Stephen's wet hair. 

The water from the hot spring rushes into him with Tony's cock and it's too hot. It is almost unbearable and Stephen almost feels dizzy until he feels the cool air starting to hit his skin. 

As he looks up at Loki and his almost glowing green eyes, he feels it. The tendrils of magic, Loki's Seidr unfolding and with it, he sees and feels the first flake of snow starting to fall and he looks at Loki with wonder and shock as the god shrugs his shoulders, his eyes warm and filled with mischief. 

"I have heard that hot springs such as this  are  best... experienced in winter." Loki says and as he does, Tony chuckles as he lifts his torso from Stephen's back. Stephen wishes that he could turn around and see the joy and delight on Tony's face but for the time being, he can't. 

He is captivated by the twinkling green eyes, that smile on Loki's face and the feel of Loki's magic dancing across his skin where they meet. 

"Holy fucking shit. Are you doing this Lokes?" Tony asks, excitement and delight obvious in his voice. Loki shrugs as he tears his eyes away from Stephen and looks at Tony. 

"It is but just a small bit of weather magic. It will  affect  only us in this small area. Nowhere else. Is- If-" The confidence and the mischief fades from Loki's eyes as concern and hesitation fills them instead, but Tony reacts before Stephen can. 

"Rudolph, this is fucking amazing." Tony says, his voice warm and astounded and there is a hesitant smile on Loki's lips that Stephen can't help but kiss. 

Loki's lips taste of magic. He tastes like power and he tastes like the snow falling around them softly and slowly. It's- It's absolutely fucking perfect and beautiful and despite the colder air, Stephen still feels like it is far, far too hot as the steam rises from the water. 

"Are you ready for me baby?" Tony asks him as he breaks the kiss with Loki. Tony runs a gentle hand down Stephen's body and he manages to nod as Loki's eyes return to his and the god holds him carefully and steadies him as Tony starts to move. 

Each thrust of Tony's hips has Stephen panting and moaning as the hot water moves with him in and out of him as well as around him. The water splashes and moves as Tony continues to move. 

It's not fast or hard. It is a slow, luxurious fuck and when Tony's arms curl around his chest and lifts his upper body up and Stephen feels his back connecting with Tony's hard chest and the Arc Reactor and feels Tony's cock burying itself further into his tight cavity, Stephen cries out. 

"You're neglecting our beautiful God, baby." Tony tells him, his voice a suggestion and his teeth as they nip at Stephen's neck is a reminder. Stephen manages a nod as he places his hands on Loki's chest and the god moves as Tony directs him. 

When Stephen's chest is lowered again, almost to where  it touches  the water, Loki's thighs and his hands become Stephen's handholds as Loki's cock is presented in front of him like a prize. 

Stephen doesn't hesitate. 

Any attempts at holding shields between them has collapsed and as the Connection and the Bond sings and sends them both trills of desire and need and lust and arousal and pleasure through them, their bodies burn with it all and it's- perfect. 

It feels right. It feels- It feels so good and it feels like exactly what he had needed. 

There is no preamble. Their desire is too raw and deep. Stephen takes in as much of Loki's cock as he can. The angle isn't quite right to deep throat him, but Stephen tries. By the gods, he tries. 

He sucks and licks and moans around the cock in his mouth as the hot water begins to move faster around him as Tony's movements increase in speed and as they do, with the water level being where it is, Stephen can feel the hot water starting to lap at his chest. 

The water hits Stephen's nipples and the cold air rapidly cools them before yet more hot water hits them and it's- It's maddening. The temperature is almost perfect. His legs and thighs are deep in the hot spring water whilst his upper body is exposed and covered by Tony and Loki's arms. 

His lips and mouth  are  filled to the brim with a hot and heavy cock whilst another pumps in and out of him and with it, the hot water. Stephen feels like he is burning and freezing at the same time and the temperature, the magic in the air, Loki's presence and his arousal and Tony's arousal and it's- 

Stephen comes with a surprised cry as Tony hits that spot inside of him just perfectly with enough force that he has to brace himself as Loki's arms catch him and hold onto him. 

Loki's hold is gentle and careful as he soothes Stephen as Tony starts to lose control of his hips and continues to fuck into him.

They know each other well enough to know that Stephen doesn't mind being fucked after he'd come. He doesn't enjoy it as much as Tony does, but he  doesn't  mind and right now, his head against Loki's  thigh , his hair being stroked by the artistic hands, it feels good. 

After his breath settles a little, Stephen moves to wrap his hand around the base of Loki's cock and his balls as he moves to continue his previous activities because he wants to taste Loki as he comes. 

He wants to know what Loki's orgasm would feel like through the Connection and the Bond and he wants to see the god's face as he comes undone. He had seen it the night before and it had been- It had been glorious. 

He wants to see it again. 

Tony's hips lose more and more control as litany of moans and curse words fall from the genius's lips. Stephen's hips are firmly in Tony's grasp and he is still bent over between the god and the man. 

Stephen finds just the right angle to be able to swallow Loki down completely and when he does, Loki shouts and his thighs tremble. When Tony comes hard and hot inside of him, filling him with both cum and the hot water as he thrusts in hard one last time, Stephen moans. 

His throat vibrates around the cock in his mouth and as he does, Loki too comes with a strangled cry. Stephen swallows around the cock and pulls slowly up, off of Loki as he licks and sucks on the way up. 

Loki tastes of winter. Cold, refreshing icy winters and Stephen wonders what Loki's Jotun skin, with the illusion completely dropped would taste like. Would all of Loki taste like that? He can't help but wonder. 

As he lifts his head and licks his lips, Tony pulls him up and backwards, his semi-hard cock still buried inside of him. 

Tony's hands caress Stephen's chest and move to angle his neck so that the two of them can kiss, even if it is a sloppy one. In the afterglow, as the snow falls upon their heated skins and the mist rises from the hot spring, it feels magical. 

Stephen can't help but smile into the kiss as Tony runs gentle, warm caressing hands down his body to calm him and to enjoy the feel of the water on his skin. 

"You taste good Loki." Tony smirks as he comments towards the god and the startled laugh that comes from Loki rings through the air and it is the first one of such that they have heard. 

Stephen can't help but smile as he settles into Tony's hold, letting the man support his weight as he watches the surprise and the sheer joy in Loki's eyes. It might not be there for long once they calm down and the weight of what everything means settles on their shoulders, but for now, it feels right. It feels good. 

Even if it is fleeting, they will have memories of this moment to rely on when the going gets tough again. Which... it will. 

It always does. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**16 June 2011 **

Japan is a beautiful country. 

There is a harmony between nature and a fundamental respect of nature and the gods that the people believe reside in them that has allowed for a richness of both nature and history to exist side by side. 

Loki cannot help but admire it. 

But there is a small bit of dread and doubt inside of his stomach. It is that usual feeling that one gets after having been hurt and betrayed by the world one too many times. When there is happiness and joy to be had, but at the back of one's mind, there is also that niggling fear that it is all about to fall apart around their ears and that they would be left desolate and cold once again. 

The void may be gone and IT's voice is quiet with the return of his magic and the support and constant presence of his Soulmates and the way that their Bonds have finally somewhat settled, but the darkness in his mind still remains. 

There are fears, there are doubts and there are moments of almost terror that he might say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing and that Tony and Stephen may rescind their kind invitations and words and that he would once  again  be left alone to his own devices and to his own demons. 

It's- The taste of happiness and joy and the need to hold onto it can cause more harm than good. Loki knows that. The Fates and the Norns will spin their wheels and the Universe will move the way that it is intended and nothing that he can say  or  do will change anything. 

Loki is aware of that. But he cannot help but think that maybe, just maybe, if he keeps them pleased with him, if he can keep them satisfied, then  maybe he can wake up one more day with them in his arms, or be able to feel the pleasure of their company for another moment. 

The insecurity and the fear is not just his own. 

This new dynamic that they were working on, that they were building was just that. New. To all of them. None of them had embarked on a relationship that involved more than two parties. Soulmates as a concept even was still new to Tony and Stephen's fears haven't disappeared magically. 

It lingers at the back of the sorcerer's mind and Loki can feel it spiking every now and then when there are moments that may remind the doctor of the horrible moments etched into his memory. It might not be even just that. 

Every time that Stephen sees him, speaks to him, touches him, unless he is overwhelmed by the Connection and the lust that burns through them, there is a part of Stephen that continues to fight again and again to keep the anxieties and the fears at bay. 

Loki admires that strength, even as he regrets the need for such. 

Even now, alone as they are, quietly leaning against the railings to look out into the mountain view of the shrine they were visiting as a group, Stephen's shoulders are tense. 

The others are spread about, talking and walking and seeing the sights along with their tour guide and each other's company. Pepper had drawn Tony away from them and though Tony had been reluctant, Stephen had given him the reassuring smile that he needed to walk away. 

There aren't as many tourists as there normally would be, given the time of the year and the heat, but Loki is acutely aware of the wary and interested eyes of the tourists as they walk by him, whispering and talking to each other. 

He does not mind. 

He is an alien being on their planet. He has been the face of the New York Invasion. He knows that despite the current positive media coverage and the quiet and firm way that Tony had defended him, along with Thor and Bruce, the doubts remain and will remain for years to come. 

That's fine. That's the price he knew he'd be paying. 

"He is quite something isn't he?" Stephen says quietly as he turns his back to the majestic view and turns instead to look towards Tony, where he talks quietly with Pepper, sitting on one of the many helpful benches throughout the shrine. 

"He is." Loki agrees. 

Tony Stark is far more than what he had imagined the man would be. He had seen glimpses of Tony Stark through the memories of those that he had captured with the Mind Stone, but spending even short moments with Tony had taught him that they had merely seen the cover. Not the contents of the book that was Tony Stark. 

The brilliance of his mind, Loki saw, was one that he doubted that even he could keep up with when it came to the matter of science and technology. The vast amount of knowledge that he had could not compete with the genius of the man's innovative mind. 

Between that mind and that disarming way that Tony had of being able to charm people and to put up the masks to hide himself from their prying eyes made him truly dangerous. 

Not that his enemies and his detractors seemed to understand. Loki still remembers the thrill of seeing Tony as he had  spoken  with  the  Madam Secretary of the United Nations. His every action, his every word and even Loki's actions had been a calculated move by Tony Stark. 

He had set it all up and he had accurately predicted what Loki would do, what conclusions that Javier would draw and he had let the threat sit there. Quiet and unspoken. It had been absolutely brilliant. In that moment, Loki has to admit that he had felt his first true stir of desire for the man. 

"He is fundamental. To every universe that survives, he is  _ fundamental _ ." Stephen says and as he does, his tone, his words ring in Loki's mind and he understands it. Even as he quirks and eyebrow to turn and look at the man. 

"Do you believe yourself to be any less fundamental?" Loki asks but even as he does, he knows the answer. Stephen shrugs his shoulder. 

"Anthony is required for the universe to survive and to flourish. I am not." Stephen says as a matter of fact and Loki can't. He can't help himself as he moves to look into Stephen's grey blue eyes and to take them away from watching Tony. 

"You really are a fool ,  aren't you?" Loki can't help but mutter as Stephen raises an eyebrow, the insult obviously worming its way into Stephen's mind as the man frowns. 

"What-" Stephen starts to say, but Loki cuts him off firmly. The thoughts that had been percolating in his  mind since their first meeting , since the sorcerer had agreed to his ridiculous demand, since he had seen that bracelet on Tony's wrist and had seen the magic coursing through it, hits him. 

"By the Norns, Stephen, do you not see? Do you not know? _ You _ are fundamental to Anthony. There is no Anthony, the good man, the man that will sacrifice himself for the universe  _ without _ you." Loki says as strongly and as firmly as he can. 

That spark, that worry at the back of his mind wonders if he should even be saying these words. Whether or not saying these words will shatter the fragile accord between them, but he can't stop himself. They are words that  need  to be said. They are words that need to be understood. 

Stephen's eyes widen and the denial, that desire to deny the truth of Loki's words are there, but before Stephen utters them, Loki continues. 

"If you cannot understand how fundamental and how important you are to Anthony, you are far bigger fool than I had given you credit for. Use that mind of  yours , Stephen. Do you truly believe that in a world without you, Anthony will continue to be able to function as Iron Man? As Anthony Edward Stark?" Loki asks, almost harshly as Stephen's eyes waver. 

"I- I never- He would be- He would be sad but-" Stephen tries to say but Loki doesn't let him continue. He can't. The laughter that bubbles out of him is almost hysterical. 

The fool, Loki thinks. The  thrice  damned fool, so blind and so unaware of the true value of the love that he has within his heart and within his hands. Loki is almost angry as he looks at Stephen. He has what Loki would kill for, would die for and yet he does not even know it. 

He does not even believe it. 

It is only when he realises that and sees that in Stephen that Loki realises that Stephen is far, far more broken and barely held together by responsibility and need and sheer strength of will than he had assumed. 

They really  were meant for each other weren't they? Loki can't help but think as he sighs heavily as the laughter fades and Stephen's eyes take on the confused look that seems out of place in those grey blue eyes. 

"Anthony Edward Stark loves you. You are everything to him. He could lose everything. Absolutely everything right this moment and he would survive it. But not if he loses you. You may not believe it but Stephen, you must accept the fact that _ you _ have become fundamental to the survival of this universe you hold dear. For without you, there will be no Anthony Edward Stark." Loki tells him softly. 

He wishes that he could shake the sorcerer. That he could shout at him until the words  sink  in. But he can already see the anxiety starting to rise. Loki steps back and away. 

"Think on it." Loki advises him before he moves away, leaving the stunned Stephen standing there, his eyes wavering between Tony and Loki. 

As Loki turns and walks away, his frustration and anger boiling in his chest, he makes his way towards Thor. Even if Thor doesn't understand why he is upset, Loki knows that his brother at the very least will not mind him being there as he tries to calm down. 

As he thinks that, as he reaches that conclusion, there is a moment of surprise and shock that goes through him. Since when had he been able to rely on Thor to be there for him when he was suffering emotionally? Since when- 

Despite the surprise, Loki can't help the soft smile that comes on his face as he straightens his shoulders. He might not be able to have Stephen and Tony's love. 

He might not be able to share everything with them as he desires, but at least, he thinks as he looks at Thor's warm blue eyes as they light up at seeing him and Jane's warm smile, at- at least now, he has family that do truly love him and accept him. 

And that... that might be just enough. 

~~~ 


	27. I Will... Love You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just a moment. Just a touch. 
> 
> But it means everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> First of all, Merry Christmas! <3 
> 
> I hope that all of you have a lovely, lovely Christmas with family and friends and loved ones or if like me you are alone, at the very least in the company of internet friends, pets and lovely moments to yourself. 
> 
> Be kind to yourself and enjoy the break. 
> 
> Thank you for your supportive words and compliments and comments. They have been keeping me going and letting me have moments of joy during my combat with depression. I have been reading them over and over again to give myself comfort. 
> 
> So thank you. 
> 
> I am back to writing, though slowly and with more deleted than actually being saved, but I am writing so hopefully I can build up a cache of backlog for regular updates. For the time being, please note that the updates will generally come once a week until the backlog has been built up. 
> 
> Again, apologies for the delays and the lack of quicker updates and thank you very much for your patience and support. 
> 
> <3   
Kira

**Thursday**

**16 June 2011**

It is an honour.

She has to  remind herself over and over again. It should be an absolute honour that no one else has the privilege of  being able to spend time with the heroes that have saved humanity. To be able to show them the beauties of her  hometown . 

She should be more respectful and definitely not bursting out into laughter every few minutes because of their antics. She should be guiding them through the city in a professional manner.

But she can't. Not when the group  is filled with laughter and jokes and antics that has her bursting out into laughter and forgetting everything about being respectful.

It  _ is _ an honour.

Unfortunately, the group doesn't seem to see it that way. They are full of laughter, jokes and so much personality and warmth that it is impossible not to fall into their charms.

It is almost too easy to be comfortable with them rather than professional and it is clear that they are meaning to do  just  that. To make her feel welcome, comfortable and a part of the group rather than merely an outsider and a guide.

It isn't something that she is entirely used to but it is something that she does appreciate. A great deal in fact. 

It is very hard to be completely professional and respectful in the face of such warmth and friendliness. Still, it is clear that the group is still working on their dynamics and she has to admit that it is somewhat fascinating to watch it unfold.

The established relationships and friendships are obvious. Especially between Clea and Pepper and Darcy and Jane. There are also clearly friendships being worked on and building between Bruce and Thor and slowly but surely, as the days go by, more and more of the walls seemed to be coming down between the group.

Especially as Tony starts to join the group on the tour along with Loki and Stephen. 

That is more of an honour to be witness to than even the fact that she has been given the assignment of guiding them through Kyoto. To be privy to their private lives and relationships as  they  builds.

They are not... what she had expected at all.

They seem bemused by the attention that they get in public more than expectant of it. In the eyes of the public, they behave with composure , but when the moment is over and they have a moment away from it, it is clear that most of them are uncomfortable with the attention. 

It also means that more often than not, all of her carefully laid out plans go completely haywire, not that they seem to mind. In fact, whilst her other tour groups would have sighed and been annoyed by the interruptions, it was clear that this group relished in the almost... chaos. 

Like now.

Due to the crowd that had gathered and the attention that they were getting,  they  had to give up on the street food from the summer festival and  retreated instead to a small okonomiyaki place that Meiko had remembered quite fondly from her school days. 

Instead of being upset by the interruptions to their plans, the group had actually taken it with some gusto to settle down in the small restaurant and with excitement, have requested instructions on how to cook the said okonomiyaki.

Which, to no one's surprise, is going completely wrong in  all possible ways . In fact, Meiko isn't quite sure if anyone  was  going to be able to eat any of what was currently sizzling away on the hot plate.

"Wait! You need to put the sauce on  _ after _ you cook it!" Darcy cries out, interrupting Meiko's bemused reflections as she fights with Thor over the sauce bottle.

Meiko isn't the only one that laughs as the sauce, predictably, squirts up and the God of Thunder is shot in the face and the shirt with the dark brown sauce. The startled laughter is one that she does try to stifle to no avail as the other voices join hers. 

"Dear Norns brother, I can't take you anywhere." Loki, the one that had been the most quiet thus far and the one that she had to admit she had been the most wary of, speaks up with fond exasperation on his face and in his voice.

"But the picture! The picture shows-" Thor complains as the snickers and laughter fills the room and even the proprietor of the small restaurant hides her smile and laugh behind her hand.

"Oh shit, I'm so sorry Thor." Darcy apologies with barely held back laughter as she grabs tissues from the small square box on the table, no doubt to help clean up the mess. But before she can get to it, a glitter of green and gold appears on Thor's shirt.

And Meiko's thoughts freeze in that moment.

"And this is why I need magic in my life." Jane says with an impressed look as the stains disappear from Thor's shirt with a wave of Loki's hand.

The laughter stops from Meiko and the proprietor as they watch in shock as the glitter of green and gold works through Thor's simple t-shirt until the stain is gone. The magic flutters out just a moment after that.

It is one thing to know, logically, what the group that has saved the planet from aliens is capable of. It is another to see it with her very own eyes. 

Magic. Real freaking magic.

If Meiko was Catholic, she might have just crossed herself in that moment. As it is, the proprietor turns to look at the small Shinto shrine she keeps in the shop and bows towards it, her face pale. 

"Oh- I- My apologies. I did not realise that- I shouldn't have-" Loki starts, his eyes wide and almost afraid as they meet her's and the concern is obvious.

Meiko isn't quite sure what to say or how to react in all honesty. The sheer impossibility of the magic that she has seen is- Her mind freezes as  do  her emotions. 

The laughter is still ongoing, most of the group unaware of her discomfort and Loki's for the moment. But their eyes catch on quickly. 

Meiko takes a deep breath and reminds herself of the short moments that she has shared with Loki and the others. She reminds herself of their heroics. The statements that had been made about Loki and his powers. She reminds herself that she is safe with them. 

The laughter and the jolly atmosphere becomes tense rapidly as the group notices her reaction and Loki's and Meiko doesn't know what to do. What to say. What to feel or to think. It's- 

But she does notice quickly enough that  the  majority of the attention and the tension isn't focused on her. No. They may be kind and they may be friendly to her, but she is an outsider to the group. No. Their focus isn't on her. 

They are on Loki. 

"It's fine Loki. Humans just aren't used to magic very much. That's all." The voice that explains softly is another that she hasn't heard much of during the trip thus far.

Dr Stephen Strange.

A man that doesn't quite seem to fit into the group of superheroes, their friends and partners. A medical doctor and no doubt a genius, but there is something about him and his presence with the group that  doesn't  quite make sense.

And it's almost as if no one else is in the room for that moment as the man reaches out his trembling and scarred hand and lay it gently over Loki's thin fingers.

Loki's eyes move quickly away from her to look down onto the hand as if he is shocked by it and there is something... momentous about the gesture and it clearly means something. Meiko isn't sure what. Especially as surprise and something else fills Stephen's eyes and Tony's eyes as well.

What is happening? 

"I-" Loki starts to say, his eyes filling with emotions that Meiko can't even begin to comprehend. The atmosphere is quickly subdued and quiet and it is obvious that something was happening that Meiko can't even hope to understand.

"I- I need to go." Loki says and before anyone can say anything, there is a quick flash of green and gold before the god disappears from the restaurant and only a glitter of magic is left behind where he had once been.

For a long moment, there is silence as Meiko tries to take in yet another display of magic,  _ real _ palpable magic and the others seem to sigh and look around at each other as if attempting to come to some sort of decision and agreement.

Despite the numerous looks and glances and attempts to stir the conversation and bring back the bright atmosphere, Meiko can't help her attention being drawn to the corner of the table where Loki had been and where Stephen sits now. 

His eyes are looking down at his hand  as it rests on the table, shaking. His face is pale and there is something in his eyes that makes Meiko's heart wrench, even if she can't understand it. 

The need to apologise, to try to fix the situation that she might have caused rises to her throat and Meiko opens her lips to say something when Tony moves. 

It's a quick but decisive movement that he makes after making eye contact with Pepper. As if that had been a signal of some  sort , Pepper draws Darcy and Thor into a conversation with an animated voice, drawing attention as Tony moves to occupy the seat that Loki had once occupied. 

The others turn their attention to Pepper and her words, though the intention is obvious. An illusion of privacy for Tony and Stephen. It is but a gesture, but one that clearly matters. It is one in which Meiko knows she should participate. But she can't. 

She can't help but watch as Tony moves to sit down next to Stephen. Sitting far too close to be just friendly and with his hand moving to gently cup the shaking, scarred hand resting upon the table. 

There is care and gentleness in the gesture and Meiko barely holds back the gasp as she watches from the corner of her eyes as Tony raises Stephen's hand with both of his own, almost reverently and kisses the back of it gently. Lovingly. 

His eyes are focused solely on Stephen's as the doctor raises his eyes to look into Tony's. 

It's a private moment. Meiko knows that she shouldn't watch. She knows that she shouldn't be paying attention. But she can't stop herself. Tony's eyes, Stephen's eyes, their facial expressions... everything is such a show of love and affection that she just can't look away. They make a stunningly beautiful picture. 

Oh. 

This is what that hefty non-disclosure agreement she had signed must have been about, she thinks as Tony caresses the hand in his and speaks in a manner that she had never, ever expected Tony fucking Stark to speak.

"What do you need me to do?" Tony asks him. There is something in his voice, a plea, a loving warmth that is so palpable that it is impossible not to hear it and to see it. 

"I- I need to- I think I need to talk to him." Stephen's voice trembles and it is clear that there are emotions rushing within him that  are  difficult to deal with or to discuss. 

"Of course. Do you want me with you?" Tony's voice is so gentle and loving that it is impossible not to see the relationship and the depth of that relationship. It is a wonder how she had missed their closeness until this point, really. 

"I- No. I- I think it's time we talked." Stephen says and though his voice trembles, his eyes are filled with conviction and there is something almost solemn about the way that Tony nods as he kisses the hand again and caresses it gently with his own. 

"Alright. I'm going to stay here. If you need me, let me know." The absolute confidence and understanding in that voice is one that Meiko recognises. 

It was the voice with which her mother told her father that she trusted his decisions and vice versa. That they would be there for each other, whatever the outcome of that decision may be. It was the kind of voice that spoke of love and respect for each other.

Stephen nods and before long, he walks out of the restaurant and even before he is really out of the establishment, Darcy and Clea are quick to brighten up the atmosphere, if forcefully, as Pepper quietly pulls Meiko in close.

Meiko can barely pay attention to what Pepper is saying to her as her mind whirls around the magic that she has seen and the drama that she had been witness to.

It is- Meiko doesn't have the traditional mind when it comes to homosexuality. That is not what has her so surprised. It is the fact that everything that she had known about Tony Stark and his playboy ways being turned upside down. 

It is about realising that... Iron Man suit or not, saving the city of millions upon millions or not, Tony Stark is human. He is but a man. A man that is in love. 

It is impossible not to see that as his eyes follow Stephen out the door, his eyes filling the concern and the desire to go with him even as he lets his lover do what he needs to do. Whatever that is. 

It is- 

It's... almost reassuring to learn that the heroes weren't only human but with the same relationship problems and dramas as she has. That they loved and cared for each other in the way that she did with her family and friends.

Even if their lives involved aliens, gods, superheroes and magic, they were so very human. That's the only thing that she can think of as she takes a deep breath and tries to engage herself in the conversation happening around her. 

It  _ is _ an honour, she thinks. She has not just been honoured to be given the task of guiding this group through her beloved city, but was privy to the relationships and lives that they live outside of all of the heroics. 

It is an honour that she will never forget. Even if she has to keep it to herself. 

~~~

**Thursday**

**16 June 2011**

It's not hard to find Loki.

In fact, it is almost too easy to find the God of Chaos. The magic is one thing. The Soul Connection another. It would actually be  _ impossible _ not to find him and feel him, given the current state of Loki's mind and his. 

To be honest, Stephen is... shocked and surprised at himself. He hadn't- He hadn't even realised that he had reached out to Loki until his hand had touched Loki's and he had felt the Connection rejoice at the contact. 

There had been no fear. There had only been the turmoil of Loki's emotions flooding his mind and the Connection and his own emotions and soul demanding that he comfort the god. 

Feeling the emotions that Loki and Tony  feel  doesn't mean that Stephen knows what is happening in their minds as the emotions come and go. But in this case, Stephen had known  _ exactly  _ what had been happening in Loki's mind. 

The fear of being rejected and being ostracised and feared by others is so obvious in Loki. It was difficult for Loki to even accept himself and love himself that he doubted any and all affection that he was ever given. 

Rejection was a constant fear in Loki's mind. 

Meiko's reaction and the flash of fear that had gone through her eyes had triggered that fear inside of Loki and Stephen had felt it. Sharp and hard and it had felt all too natural to reach out and to try to comfort. In fact, it had felt... right. 

Even now, Loki's shields are torn asunder and as a result, Stephen can feel the surprise at his touch, the faint hope that it may spell the end of Stephen's fears and the regret at having run away along with the burning self hatred and doubt as well as the fears. 

It's difficult to feel all of that. 

Especially when he feels the surprise himself and the hope for himself too. It's- Even with all the contact and all the time that they have spent together for the last several days, it hasn't been easy. 

The lust and sexual desires have helped. 

Tony's lust for them is an open channel between them and through that, they are almost... infected by the lust and desire and it rebounds and builds between them until Stephen can't feel afraid. he can only feel the hot burning desire and the need to act upon it. 

But in the quiet moments, when they had been laying in silence, tired out and with the desires  quieted  for the moment, it had really been Tony and his presence that had kept Stephen's fears from rising too high. That had kept them both calm in each other's presence. 

Because it isn't only Stephen that feels fear. 

It is Loki too. Stephen can't be certain, but he can't help but feel that Loki fears  are  hurting him again. That he doesn't trust himself not to cause Stephen to fear or to cause him pain. There is hesitation and concern each time that Loki reaches out to touch him and there is always that fear. 

Of Stephen backing away from that touch. Of him flinching and being afraid. It is a fear that they share, but Loki's fear is- It is tied so deeply into his own self esteem and view of his own self worth that it is- It is so incredibly dangerous. 

Because it hadn't all been smooth sailing in the last couple of days. Most of it had been good. Fantastic even. Even after meeting Tony Stark and all the wonderful and amazing sex that they have shared, Stephen isn't sure if he had been so filled with lust and need as he had been in the last couple of days. 

But there had been moments. 

Moments that had been quickly and skillfully dealt with, but moments when the fears had risen from both of them and there hadn't- without sex being involved, Stephen and Loki hasn't touched in that casual manner that Stephen and Tony touch each other. 

Every time that Stephen had reached out to Loki, it had been a conscious effort to fight back the fears, to hold back against his own lizard brain reacting with adrenaline and that flight or fight response. 

But not this time. 

Stephen takes a deep breath as he traces the magic that Loki gives off like a bright beacon of light and makes his way down the alleyway towards the small Shinto shrine they had passed on the way to the restaurant. 

Loki stands before the thick red columns of the ritual gate to the shrine. The shrine is clearly one that is tended by the locals and most likely unknown to tourists. There are no priestesses or priests at the shrine. Or anyone else for that matter. 

The shrine is a small bastion of nature in the middle of the back alleys. The summer sun shines brightly through the leaves and lit by those lights, Loki is... ethereal and impossibly beautiful. 

With his line of sight, Stephen can  see  Loki's side profile as the god turns his face towards the streams of light between the leaves and the sharp contours of his face are lit by the light and peppered by the shadows. 

He is... 

Stephen's breath stops and his heart skips a beat as he looks upon the picture that the god makes as he stands there. Loki knows that Stephen is there. He knows that Stephen is watching. But for the moment, the god doesn't acknowledge him. 

They both need a moment. 

To think. To calm themselves and their emotions and to focus and to get their shields back in order.  Stephen is the first to be able to pull back and to shield himself properly. But he doesn’t speak yet. He needs to give Loki time too, to pull himself together. 

It takes Loki a moment or two longer, but the serene environment helps. 

Stephen moves and sits down on one of the benches underneath  a seemingly ancient tree and the cool shade that it provides is a welcome oasis against the harsh heat of the sun. 

"My apologies." Loki says quietly. Through the noise of the cicadas chirping away, his voice is almost lost, but not to Stephen's ears. He hears Loki's calm voice, he hears the emotions behind them as the god turns to look at him, his green eyes made all the greener by the environment around them. 

"There is no need to apologise." Stephen says as he gestures to the bench. The invitation is obvious and it takes less effort than Stephen had expected. 

This talk, this moment is long overdue. 

In fact, they both had known that it was coming and that it was necessary and yet, they had both been avoiding it. 

Because sex was easier. Because losing themselves in their magic, the Connection and the physical connection was so much easier than talking through the difficulties that their Connection was facing. It was easier to pretend that everything was going to be okay. 

But they are adults. They have responsibilities. Both to themselves and to others. It is time that they face their problems. 

"I disagree. There is a great deal for which I owe you and Anthony many apologies. Words that I have spoken and will speak again and repeat over and over again and yet will not be able to say enough." Loki says as he walks slowly towards Stephen. 

"Loki, what happened isn't-" Stephen starts to say, but Loki shakes his head. With their eyes meeting each other's and their shields bleeding through despite their efforts, Stephen feels almost a little overwhelmed as Loki kneels in front of him. 

"I will not make excuses Stephen and you should not accept excuses. What I have done was wrong. There are no-" No. Stephen thinks. He has heard such words enough from Loki now. He has felt enough of the guilt. 

Enough of the self hatred  and regret . 

It's time to move on. It's time for  _ both _ of them to move on. Or at the very least, consciously make the  decision to start on that progress. 

"No. I'm done with that. I don't need you to be a shield. I don't need you to be a sword. Neither Anthony nor I need or want that. What we want and need is an equal. So get up Loki." Stephen demands as he stands up. 

His voice is stronger than he had expected and so are is convictions. The words feel right. They feel necessary. 

The fears that he feels and have felt aren't going to fade just because he had been able to reach out one time without it. But it's a start. There may be set backs , weeks, months or maybe even years down the track when something that Loki says or does triggers that fear once again inside of him. 

But fearing that fear and worrying about it and constantly keeping that in mind was not the way that Stephen was going to be able to heal and to deal with it. It's about time he faced it head on as he has done with all the other problems that he has faced. 

It's about time that Loki does as well. 

"Stephen, I-" Loki starts to say, hesitation obvious but Stephen is done. He is done with all of that. He doesn't want Loki kneeling before him. He doesn't want Loki being passive. 

He wants the Loki that he had seen through the Time Stone and the visions of Loki's past. That curious, that bright and sharp witted man that had been known as the God of Tricks before he had been known as the God of Chaos and Lies. 

The Loki that he had seen a glimpse of as he had smiled that wickedly beautiful and playful smile and made it snow as they had fucked in the hot springs. 

That Loki may not exist anymore and Stephen knows that some experiences can be so scarring and so damaging that one cannot go back to the being that they had once been. Experiences and life changes minds and feelings and the very essence of a being. 

If that is the case, then at the very least, Stephen wants to see a Loki that isn't haunted by his mistakes and self hatred. He at the very least wants to be able to get to know Loki, not just as a god that would sacrifice anything and everything just to protect him and Tony. 

A being that loves themselves. 

Because without that, Stephen isn't sure if the god can love Tony and him the way that a Triumvirate should. 

It's not hard. Not this time. Just like in the restaurant, Stephen's hands almost move of their own accord and before he can even think about it, his hands are guiding Loki to a standing position and his hand moves to cup Loki's face. 

His hand trembles. His body remembers the trauma and the fear better than his mind does in this moment. But it's fine. Stephen can ignore it. He does ignore it. 

Instead, he focuses on the god and his wide green eyes, the slightly opened red lips that breathes out the gasp. He wants to kiss those lips, but he doesn't. This isn't the right time for it. 

"I can't make promises. I can't tell you that I am not afraid of some aspects of you and your actions. I can't and I will not lie to you. But you and I both know where this Connection will lead us, don't we." Stephen says as he looks into Loki's emerald green eyes. 

The understanding is obvious between them. It has always been obvious between them. Even if Tony didn't know. Even if Tony still doesn't know nor understand. They had known and they had understood. 

There are no Soulmates within the Order that do not love each other. Their magic and their Connection, their ability to feel each other and to share souls means that it is  _ impossible _ not to love each other. 

Not all the relationships are physical. Some of them are platonic. But they love. Love beyond friendship and family. 

They  _ love _ . 

From the first moment when they had met, they had known that they would fall in love with each other. It was just a matter of time and exposure to one and another. But at the end of the day, they will fall in love with each other, whether they  want  to or not. 

With Tony, it is a conscious decision. For him to love Stephen. For him to open his heart to Loki. But for them, it is more... a decision to give up fighting against the desire and the need to love. 

"You needn't-" Loki starts to say but Stephen stops with a firm shake of his head. 

"Whether Anthony chooses to love you and to include you into our relationship is his decision. It is a decision that you and I will both respect and follow. But you and I know just how deep the Connection will bind us once the Bond is completely formed." Stephen says and Loki nods slowly. 

"I am aware." Loki says quietly and Stephen can't help but smile wistfully as he looks away from the god for a moment and looks down at his chest, where even now, invisible as it may be to the naked eye, the Eye of Agamotto rests. 

"If we have the time for the Bond to mature." Stephen can't help but say as he lowers his hand from Loki's face and touches the Eye with it. 

The Time Stone pulses under his hand at the acknowledgement of  its  existence. The allures and the calls of its power and the desire to be used is strong and Stephen is almost lost to it for a moment before he snaps himself out of it. 

"Thanos." Loki says, his fear obvious in his voice and Stephen looks back up into Loki's eyes and nods slowly. 

"There are things in this Universe that I fear far more than I fear you, Loki. It will take time and there will be setbacks and moments where I cannot stop the fear from taking over. But I need you to know and understand this." Stephen says and he makes sure that Loki is paying attention, that his eyes are focused and that his mind is clear enough to hear Stephen's words. 

"I trust you. I want you and I will... love you." Stephen says quietly and firmly and as Loki's eyes widen, he takes a deep breath and reaches out to cup Loki's face again and it feels natural. It feels right, as his lips touch Loki's refreshingly cool ones. 

The Jotun blood in Loki's veins cools his skin and as he gasps and his lips open, Stephen swears that he can almost taste the snow as his tongue moves of  its  own accord and invades Loki's. 

The kiss is more solemn than lustful. 

It's a kiss of promise more than anything else. It is a promise of a future. One that they will have to work on and build together, but the promise and the hope will keep them going until they can reap the rewards of their efforts. 

If Stephen happens to feel a warm wetness fall onto his cheek or taste the salt of tears between the kiss, he won't comment on it. He will just kiss those beautiful cool lips and know that they have taken a step forward. 

And what a step it was. 

~~~

**Friday**

**17 June 2011**

It doesn't take a genius to see that something is wrong.

Which is good, since she isn't a genius. But she does know enough about Tony Stark to know when something is bothering him. She can see it in his eyes. She can see it in the very way that he stands and talks and the way that he interacts with the others.

She isn't the only one that notices of course. In the last couple of months and years, she hasn't become the only one that is so very familiar with Tony Stark.

No. Stephen notices. Clea notices. Even Bruce notices that something is off, but none of them feel that it is their place to interfere. Nor do they know what to say or what to do.

Pepper isn't even sure whether  _ she _ knows what to do either. But at the very least, she knows that she can lend an ear for him to unload a little.

And as much as Tony is loved by Stephen and as much as they share the Soul Connection or whatever that means, she knows that there are some things that are harder to discuss with those that are close.

Something that Pepper can help with. Something that she  _ wants _ to help with, if such a thing is possible.

The thing is, since they arrived in Japan, for the first couple of days, Tony hadn't really been spending the time with the group. In fact, neither had Stephen nor Loki.

They had been spending a lot of time together and considering what she has heard about their Soul Connection and all of that business, that sort of makes sense.

It also makes sense why Tony seems to be... tense and deep in thought.

And chances were, those were the sorts of things that he couldn't really talk to Stephen nor Loki about. Things that involved them. Things about them that gave Tony pause and gave him something to think about that he probably didn't want to think about.

Even better odds? 

Tony had probably done the most typical Tony Stark thing of thinking that something was a good idea, which he was usually right about, then doing the thing. Only, once he has done the said thing, he realises that there are consequences and emotions and thoughts that he probably should have considered earlier. 

Which is usually the point where the doubts set in for Tony and when he most needs to unload and to think and to talk to someone about things. 

She knew Tony well enough to know just what he needs in a moment like that.

So she makes her excuses from the group. She grabs a bottle of sake, two small cups and she all but drags Tony out of the banquet hall that they were occupying for their dinner.

The kaiseki meal, all of the little courses are absolutely delicious and she was sure going to be missing some of the wonderful dishes, but for now, Tony comes first.

Tony doesn't protest. He is too deep in thought and too desperate for a moment of quiet, to protest. He too knows exactly what she is doing and from the small pleading smile and look in Stephen's eyes, so does he.

"Come on. We need to talk about work." Is the excuse that Pepper gives. It's not a great one, but it works. The others don't pay much attention as she drags him out into the courtyard where there is wonderful outdoor sitting and the heat of summer.

The cold sake bottle condenses immediately in her hand as she leads Tony by the arm, balancing the bottle under the other arm and the two cups in one hand. By the time that they are seated and the drinks  have  been poured and the first cups had been  drunk more than savoured, Tony looks calmer.

The silence between them is calm and it is companionable. Relaxing. It seems to be a moment that Tony needs and it is one that Pepper is happy to provide him with.

There is no need  to talk. Not if he isn't ready to talk. Sometimes companionable silence is what one needs and it is up to Tony to decide what he wants and needs. With that in mind, she sits and looks up into the night  sky  and enjoys the quiet until Tony breaks the silence.

"I'm fine you know." He tells her. She doesn't exactly scoff because that's not the kind of thing that she does but she does definitely give him that look of incredulity that he recognises.

The sigh is heavy. 

"You know, if you thought sleeping with the God of Lies would make you a better liar, I would hate to tell you, but it didn't work." Pepper tells him and Tony huffs out a surprised laugh before he looks at her with an eyebrow raised.

"How do you know I've been fucking him?" Tony asks and Pepper has to just roll her eyes to the high heavens at that. How the hell  _ wouldn't _ one know?

She was pretty sure that Darcy knew, Thor of course and she was pretty sure Clea and Jane knew as well. The only one that might be clueless was Bruce and that was only because he was too polite to ponder about their private lives more than anything else.

"Because he's touch starved and he is so lost and broken that I know that you won't be able to leave him in that state. Neither you nor Stephen can." Pepper tells him. It's kinder than the words that first came to her mind about the kiss marks or the way that they kept arriving in the dining hall at the same time.

Besides, it was also the truth.

She had watched Loki's decline. She had watched as Tony's  eyes filled with sadness every time that he had seen the god. She knew that Tony wouldn't be able to leave him be for long.

Not when Tony himself knows something about being in the position that the god had been in. They have both made through the experience, but it didn't mean that they had come out of it unscathed.

So, it stood to reason that Tony would try to do something.  _ Anything _ to help the god and sex wasn't- it wasn't something that Tony would particularly feel... adverse to.

Pepper knows Tony's type well enough by now to know that the god fit the bill. Especially considering Stephen. Which is why she's a little confused over Tony's current state.

"Is Stephen alright?" Pepper asks because Tony's emotional and psychological state was very much tied to Stephen of late and though Loki may be of import, the most important one as always was going to be Stephen.

Besides, it's impossible to forget the odd exchange between Loki and Stephen on Thursday. And the way that  _ something _ had changed between them when they had returned to the restaurant together. 

"He is... He is doing a lot better than I had ever hoped for." Tony says and there is truth in his words, but there is also some of that fear, doubt and worry that he no doubt feels.

"There has honestly been a bit of too much bullshit lately, hasn't it?" Pepper says because it is, first of all, the truth and second of all, a huge part of just what _is_ affecting them.

The Soulmate thing on top of everything else that has been thrown onto their shoulders were seriously cruel. What they needed right now was stability and each other.

Yet, there is the matter of Loki and adding a third person into their relationship can't be an easy thing, to start off with. For one. For another, Loki is so terribly damaged and broken that it probably makes things all the worse for the three of them.

Not that Tony himself or Stephen was the bastion of mental health either, which obviously also doesn't help. Gods, she's not sure if  _ any _ of them right now  _ could _ even be charitably described as being 'emotionally stable' or healthy mentally right now.

They were holding it together and yes, they were healing and are going to heal, but it was going to take time and that was okay. They could take the time that they need and they could heal and get themselves together and support each other to get there too.

"A bit yeah." Tony says quietly after a long, long moment. The silence hadn't bothered her, lost in her  thoughts  as she had been and it seemed that it didn't bother him either. 

"What can I do?" She asks, because there  _ has _ to be something that she can do right? But all Tony does is shake his head and sigh heavily as he looks up into the night  sky .

"You're doing it." He says quietly after another long moment. When he looks away from the skies to look at her, there is that fond smile on his lips and his eyes that never fails to warm her heart. She returns it naturally.

"There- There isn't really anything that anyone can do. Nothing  that even  I can do, I don't think. It's- It's one of those things that is just going to take time. And effort, I suppose." Tony says quietly and Pepper can only nod at that.

Relationship problems were often like that. Actually, most things were like that. Things needed to take time. People needed time to heal. Mentally, physically and emotionally. Time may not heal everything, but it does heal most things and as time goes past and as they talk and put in the effort, things will settle down and things will become better.

"It will get better, Tony." Pepper tells him with conviction. It has to. It always does. It may seem like the end is never in sight and they might not be able to see it now, but one day, if they keep putting their foot after another as they walk along the road of life, they will wake up one day and realise that things have... somehow fixed themselves.

That is how life works.

Unfortunately, there is no magic, real like what Clea and Stephen can do or otherwise that can fix everything instantly.

Some things... just take time.

And time is a resource that she knows that they don't have in spades. No time to relax and to take  a moment to work on things like themselves and their relationships.

Already, their trip and the moments of peace  were  coming to an end. There is only so long that they can put the world off before they have to get back to the politics, the drama and the work.

Pepper leans her head against Tony's shoulder and slips her hand into his. His hand is large and warm as they wrap around her. It's a connection. It might not be a Soul Connection like what he has with Stephen and Loki, but it is a connection and one that she will hold onto for as long as she lives.

"Yeah. In the  meantime , you'll be there." Tony tells her quietly. Words that are so surprising that she almost raises her head to look at him, but she doesn't. More because they are surprising.

Tony expressing himself like this was a rarity and she knew how difficult that he found expressing sentiments like that. At times like that, it was always better to let him sit in the silence and pretend that she didn't hear all the sentimentality.

Together, they sip at their sake and look up into the clear night skies and savour the moment of peace that they both need. Him more than her, no doubt, but it is a moment to share and yet have for themselves to think and to reflect.

To prepare.

~~~


	28. From the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Politics have always involved shadows and darkness and secrets. That hasn't changed. Even in this time and this day with aliens and gods being involved. 
> 
> As the political machine turn and the world learns of the truths that some may wish they didn't know, for some, all they need and want is a comforting pair of arms to hold them. To reassure them everything is... okay. 
> 
> Even if it... isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi beautiful people! 
> 
> I am so sorry for the long wait. It's been a trying couple of weeks between getting super freaking sick, trying to manage more hours at work and surviving the burning heat that may or may not be destroying my country right now. 
> 
> It has been a bit difficult to try to get myself to write through all of that and I have instead just taken the time to get myself together. 
> 
> I am not back to writing a chapter a day as I used to, but I also have less time than I used to when I started this project. So unfortunately, we won't be able to return to a chapter a day schedule any time soon. 
> 
> But I do hope that I can do at least a chapter or two a week for the time being as I get the story out. I have managed to write the next chapter as well, even if it's a draft for the time being, which is a good start. 
> 
> I just want to say... thank you. 
> 
> For your patience, your support, all of your kind words and concern. It is overwhelming to read through the discord server as well as the comments on AO3 to see the support you have given me. 
> 
> So thank you. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and at the very least, the next chapter will be up within the week. 
> 
> <3  
Kira

**Sunday **

**19 June 2011**

The apprehension is tangible. 

The tension is thick enough to be  cut with  a knife and it is so stifling that it is almost difficult to breathe. 

It makes it all the more difficult when Christine has no idea just why  _ she _ was in this particular room with these particular people at this particular time. 

If she had her own way and make no mistakes, she is direly wishing that she did, she would be home with a nice cup of chamomile tea to calm her nerves and sleep before the chaos that is about to fall upon the world's shoulders tomorrow. 

But no. Instead of the calm and relaxing night that she would rather have, she is at a location she's not even quite sure of, with men dressed in black suits that she doesn't know. 

If there hadn't been a good showing of badges and verification and her own instincts, she would have thought that she was in deep trouble. As it is, even with all of that, she wasn't quite certain she  _ wasn't _ in trouble. 

Christine Everhart isn't the nervous type. It's difficult to be a hard hitting journalist and be nervous. She has had to weasel her way into locations that no sane, logical and reasonable human being should have been in. 

On top of that, especially of recent months and years now, she supposes, she's been making some dangerous decisions in her career as well. So no. Christine isn't the type to be nervous easily. 

But she  _ is _ nervous. 

And that nervousness is verging on anxiety and almost fear and she  doesn't like it one bit. 

But then when the NSA rolls up in their black SUVs and ambush you on the way home and demand that you accompany them and take you to a location you don't quite know and confiscate your phone and indeed all your belongings, it seems reasonable and logical, indeed  _ sensible _ , to be... nervous. 

Still, Chrsitine doesn't show it. At least, she hopes that she isn't showing it. She stands there, her arms crossed, ignoring the oddly comfortable seeming set of lounge chairs placed in the desolate, abandoned factory she's found herself in. 

As far as settings go for a clandestine meeting, this is  textbook . An abandoned factory  on the outskirts of the city in the middle of the night, lit with only a single light at the centre of the facility, leaving the rest of the space dark and foreboding. 

She's in a grade B thrill movie. Great. 

"Is this going to take long? I am a busy woman." Christine says with a voice that is firmer than she feels. She's always had a bit of flair for the dramatics and she hopes that it's enough to hide her fear. 

"It'll take as long as it nee-" The man in charge, at least of the group, is the one that speaks up. He's got that vibe, Christine thinks. The vibe of a man that knows that he is making the calls and that others are at his mercy and  _ enjoys _ it. A type that Christine abhors. 

" There is no need to be so harsh to our fair guest, Mr Stone." Christine hopes that her surprise doesn't show on her face too much as she hears the voice and recognises it. More, when the speaker walks into the light. 

"Well, well, well. I'm not sure what I expected, but you aren't who I expected to be meeting, Secretary Pierce." Christine says even as a niggling doubt questions inside of her whether or not it's a good idea to acknowledge her knowledge of him. 

The man looks innocuous, Christine thinks, like all snakes do. Even as her palms become sweaty with the all too familiar anxiety that rises inside of her, Christine can't help but feel a bit of  a thrill. It takes all of her self control to remain calm, or at the very least, exude calmness. 

Greying hair with rugged good looks that have aged well despite the wrinkles and sharp blue eyes that seems to look past all of her pretences is enough to keep Christine on her toes as she meets his eyes with firmness she's proud of herself for. 

"Well, Miss Everhart, it seems that reports of your competency were not exaggerated in the least. Alexander Pierce. It's a pleasure to finally meet you in person." The man says as he holds out a hand and Christine is almost annoyed at how sweaty her palm is even as she  discreetly  wipes it on her skirt before firmly shaking it. 

"The pleasure is all mine to meet the man in charge of the World Security Council." Christine says and there is a sharp glint of pleasure in the man's eyes that she does not like. 

It's the look of a man that has obtained a position of power that he has desired for a long time and the acknowledgement strokes his ego. A politician to boot and a dangerous one at that. 

The existence of the World Security Council in itself isn't a secret. It is a well known, legitimate organisation. What is  _ not _ well known and indeed is one of the best kept secrets is just what they are up to. 

Like SHIELD, an organisation they have direct control over, the World Security Council's existence might be known, but their activities  are another thing altogether. 

Even in the months of research that she has put into the project, Christine hasn't been able to get any concrete information as to just what they were up to. Nothing that can be substantiated. Just whispers in the dark corners from her sources that refuse to be named. 

The World Security Council was supposed to be an organisation that did what the name said. Secure the future and safety of the world. With their resources spanning throughout the globe and their political influence likely to be greater than what they touted, it was an organisation that was just as elusive and difficult to investigate as SHIELD. Or even more so. 

And that? That made them and the man in front of her...  _ dangerous _ . 

"Please." Pierce says as he gestures to the chairs. He waits for her to take her seat and settle in before he sits down himself. He sits, leg crossed, his hands placed over his knee. The pose of a man oozing confidence. 

He holds all the cards here and Christine can't help but feel that rush of thrill disappear as the fear sets in. 

She may have been wrong, she thinks. 

She  _ was _ in trouble. 

~~~ 

**Sunday **

**19 June 2011 **

It's quiet. 

There is no 80's rock playing in the background and the lack of it allows for the sound of whirring machines and servers to be louder than they usually are. But that in itself makes a soft sort of background music that Tony can appreciate.

It's not often that he enjoys the quiet. 

Not these days anyway. Back before he had met Stephen and had fallen so fucking hard in love and their lives  had  become so intertwined, the lab, the quiet, is what Tony had turned to in order to find peace. 

Tinkering about, using his hands and his mind to work on something had been the way that he had escaped from the stress and the exhausting moments. 

But these days, that solace, that refuge had been... Stephen. 

Gods, how things have changed, Tony thinks as he looks out of the large windows. He can't focus. He has so much work to do and he should be doing that. He could do more preparations for tomorrow even. 

But no. 

He wants- he wants to bury himself in the warmth of Stephen's body and forget about everything that is about to happen. He wants to forget everything that has happened in the last couple of months. He wants to forget that aliens have fucking invaded his fucking planet and that he has a god for a fucking Soulmate and just- just- 

But Stephen isn't here. 

The man that he loves, the Sorcerer Supreme is away on said Sorcerer fucking Supreme business and with the others settled in for the night after days and sleepless nights of preparing for tomorrow, Tony can't be selfish enough to demand that they spend time with him. 

Besides. 

As much as Tony wants to 'forget' the shit that happened in the last couple of months, he also needs to think about it all. He has been just... reacting to situations for far too long and he hasn't actually processed anything that has taken place. 

It had been all so... frantic with only little bits of down time here and there and that just hasn't been enough time for him to just- 

Think. 

All of the fucking time he'd spent solving the problems right in front of his face has made him lose the view of the big picture more than once and on top of that, his head has become a mess over that time and now- 

There are so many emotions that swirl around inside of him at all times now that it's difficult to fucking focus on...  _ anything _ .  _ Everything _ . 

No. As much as Tony hates to admit it, he needs this moment and this time alone to think and to make some goddamn decisions about himself, his life , and about those around him. 

A drink would help, Tony thinks as he walks over to the well stocked bar. As he does and he looks over the various bottles, Tony blinks as he realises that he hasn't been drunk for a long, long time. 

Sure,  he’s been drinking, but he  hasn' t been indulging in binges or being so intoxicated that he would pass out for almost... years now. 

And that thought makes Tony pause as his hand hovers over the bottle of whisky. If he were to start drinking tonight, it would end up in one of those stupors. He knows himself well enough to know that. 

It's a habit that he doesn't need to fall back into, Tony thinks. Alcohol had always been a  crutch to get him through the difficult days. He had used and abused it but he doesn't- he doesn't need it anymore. 

Instead, during those moments, those dark days, Tony realises that he had been using Stephen instead. Even without telling the man or even realising it himself, Tony had sought the man out and  had  used Stephen's presence, his love, his body to find comfort and to lose himself. 

It's- well. 

Tony sighs as he walks away from the bar and makes his way towards the kitchen instead. He might as well drink some coffee instead. Besides, Stephen likes the taste of coffee on his tongue. 

The doctor never comments on it and the taste of alcohol on his lips won't stop him from kissing Tony. But Stephen doesn't like the taste of alcohol. He prefers the taste of coffee as it mixes with the tea on his own lips. So does Tony. 

Just recalling the taste of Stephen's lips sends a quick rush of desire and want through Tony's body. God, he's hopeless, Tony thinks. But he also can't help but think that it's not a bad thing. To be in love. To want someone as badly as Tony does all the time. 

Stephen has been- Stephen  _ is _ good for Tony. 

The man is able to pull Tony out of his thoughts, to make him feel loved and happy in a way that nothing and no one else has been able to. 

If nothing else, Stephen's presence, his love and his devotion has made everything... bearable. But also... more complicated and difficult. 

God, he's in a mood tonight, Tony thinks as he returns to the large windows looking out into New York City. 

The City is being rebuilt. There are scaffolds and cranes and signs of building and reconstruction everywhere that his eyes can see. It's a physical sign of the recovery that is being made and Tony can appreciate it for what it is. 

But it doesn't shake that odd mix of emotions inside of his head. It's just- there just had been too much that has happened in the last couple of months and Tony isn't sure how he feels about  _ any _ of it. 

He is tired. He is sick of all of the fucking bullshit that has happened and that will happen when the morning comes. 

The time away in Japan has been nice. It has given them all a break away from the world and just allowed them to have those moments of peace that they had sorely needed. It has also allowed them  all bond and to get to know each other. 

And that can only be a good thing. They have been and  were  going to be spending a lot of time together and working a great deal together. Closeness and understanding of each other can only help with that. 

But it hasn't all been relaxing and fun. 

No. For Tony, Stephen and Loki, it has been both... pleasurable and added yet another fucking complication.

And that is another thing that Tony hasn't processed yet. Along with Stephen's kidnapping, the fact that the sorcerer had almost died, the fact that aliens had poured into the skies of New York. All of it. 

Tony has dealt with the problems on hand as he had always done. He had done what was necessary and he did what was the best for the situation. But he hasn't- He hasn't... processed it. He hasn't been able to think through it and process all the emotions attached and to fully accept everything that has happened. 

And the result was this. 

The chaos inside of his mind. The swirling emotions coming and going faster than he can even feel them. Thoughts that scatter and refuse to settle down and threatens to- 

Fuck. 

It didn't help that whatever modicum of peace that he had managed to gain in Japan had been disturbed just as quickly when they had arrived back to New York. 

The moment they had landed, it had been straight  back  to work. In fact, the work had begun on the flight home. 

There is a bubbling of anger and frustration deep inside of Tony that had been brewing for years. Decades even , that raises  its head in moments like this. 

Why him? 

Why did he have to be the unlucky one that is burdened with all this shit? There are Joe Bloggs and Jane Smiths walking about, living their lives without all of the fucking bullshit that happens to Tony. 

Why did it always have to be him that has to deal with all the world's fucking problems? Why did he have to- 

Tony takes a shuddering breath. No one has an answer for him. No one that he knows. And he isn't the only one is he? Stephen has had a life that is just as difficult, if not more so than Tony's. So has Loki. And Bruce. And as carefree as Thor seems to be, it didn't seem as if the Crown Prince of Asgard has had an easy ride either. 

Knowing that it isn't only him that has suffered, that is burdened, doesn't help. Remembering that he is lucky to have everything that he has, doesn't help. It never does. The self pity is still there, as are the anger and frustration. 

But he doesn't have time to dwell on that. No. Tomorrow, the General Assembly of the United Nations will meet to hold negotiations with not a foreign country, but an alien Kingdom for the first time in human history. 

The world's attention will be focused solely on them and the words that will come out of their lips. Every single word, tone, glance, gesture will be analysed, scrutinised and criticised. 

It's- Tony hates it. 

Even if he has grown up in the spotlight of the media, even if he had gotten used to it from the moment that he had been aware of it, it doesn't change the fact that he hates it. 

All of that bullshit has more or less made him a prisoner of his own home. Tony doesn't spend a lot of time outside in the public's eye. When he does, it is for quick trips to a restaurant or a location to get whatever he needs. Otherwise, he is either in his lab or in his home. 

That wasn't exactly a problem, but it's a lifestyle that he has built out of not desire, but need. And he hates it. 

God he hates- 

Tony takes a deep breath. All of this self pity and anger isn't good for him. He  _ knows _ that. Michelle would spend hours lecturing him if she were to know. In fact, she had in the past. Still. Knowing it all doesn't exactly stop  _ any _ of it. 

He feels out of control. He can't stop the swirl of emotions inside of his head and the chaos of thoughts spiralling further and further out of control. It's- 

Somewhere inside of his head, Tony knows that this is a bad sign. That he needs to do something to stop this before it gets to the point of no return and he finds himself so... lost to everything that he can't function. 

But he can't. 

He never has been able to stop himself. The thoughts and emotions would take over and he would be lost to them for days, weeks and months. He will end up distancing himself. Hurting other people so that he can just wallow and it's- 

"Sir, Prince Loki has requested entrance to the lab, if you do not mind?" JARVIS's voice snaps Tony out of his thoughts for a moment as he blinks. 

Loki? Why the hell would he want to- Oh. Tony sighs as he nods. 

"Yeah. Let him in. Thanks J." Tony says as he sighs heavily. Goddamn the fucking Connection and all this fucking bullshit, Tony thinks as he scowls. 

Okay, so not being able to drown himself in the self pity party without intervention might be a good thing, but the fact that both Stephen and Loki can feel what he feels without him being able to do the same is just a fucking bitch. 

It's not fair. 

"Anthony." Loki's voice is hesitant. As if he doesn't quite know what to say or do. But even in that one word, Tony can hear the concern. Tony doesn't turn around from the window. 

"Loki." He acknowledges the god and he watches faint reflection of Loki as the god walks closer towards him, his hand raised as if to reach out to touch him before falling down to his side again. 

And this? This is another problem that Tony needs to think about and to deal with. 

Adding a third into a relationship is not fucking easy. No, in fact, it is fucking difficult. Especially when they are trying to keep everyone happy and to give everyone equality in that said relationship. Except they aren't starting on an equal footing, are they? 

Tony hasn't been in a polyamorous relationship before. Neither had Stephen. Tony  _ has _ been in an open relationship before and he had seen just how quickly that had fallen apart as distrust and jealousy had grown. 

And that? That is the last thing that they need. 

Besides. Loki is still not himself. The god is struggling with his own dark emotions and spirals and yet,  here he is . Because he is compelled to by the Connection and the Bond and it is- fuck all of this bullshit. Fuck all of it, Tony thinks as he clenches his fist. 

"Anthony- I- Is- Is there anything that I can do?" Loki asks and his voice is soft, worried and it is almost a desperate plea, the way that he says it. As if it is hurting him to see Tony going through these emotions and thoughts and that he  _ needs _ to do something about it. 

And that ? That is just  _ fucked.  _

"What are you willing to do?" Tony's lips ask the question before he can even think. He shouldn't ask such things. But the anger and frustration inside of him asks before he can tamper that with clear thought. 

"Anything." Loki says softly and Tony can't help but turn around to see the expression on Loki's face as he says that. When he does, Tony regrets the question immediately. 

He recognises the look in Loki's eyes. How could he not? He had held the same look far too many times. The need to please. The need for recognition and that desperate fear of rejection. Gods, Tony thinks as he sighs and runs a hand down his exhausted eyes. 

"God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I'm just..." Tony trails off as he tries to take back the words. His tone had been far too harsh and demanding and he should have thought of Loki and his vulnerable state. 

"Thinking. Feeling. Much has occurred between us and to you that you have yet to comprehend. It is understandable." Loki says softly and as Tony looks into the god's ethereal green eyes, he feels... calmer. 

He also can't help but remember those same green eyes flashing with desire and wanton need and it sends a shiver down his spine. Loki shudders as those very desires are passed onto him. 

"Stephen cannot be here for you tonight. But I can. Tell me what it is that you want. What it is that you need." Loki says and the way that the god can't help but lick his lips tells Tony just what the god thinks might help and Tony can't help but want it too. 

But. 

"Is that what you want to do, or is it something that Stephen asked you to do? Or is it what the Connection and the Bond demands that you do?" Tony can't help but question, his eyes narrowing as it does. 

Loki isn't surprised by the question as Tony had expected. The god shrugs his shoulders and the graceful movement sends the soft linen shirt that he wears slithering against his skin and it sends yet another thrill of desire down Tony's spine. 

For fuck sakes, Tony thinks as the god responds. 

"A little of all of it. I may be the God of Lies, but I will not lie to you, as you are aware. I felt your distress, just as Stephen had. He sent a message that he cannot get away from the work that he is doing and has requested that perhaps I assist in his stead." The god says and Tony feels that bubbling fondness for Stephen that he always feels when he sees the signs of love and care from the man. 

"But even without his message, I would have come. The Connection and the Bond demand that I do what I can to keep you happy. To keep you safe. However, that is not all." Loki says and as he does, his eyes focus on Tony and there is hunger there as the god steps forward. 

"Oh?" Tony's mouth goes dry as he sees the hunger and almost predatory nature of Loki's movements as the god steps towards him. 

Tony knows what Loki's skin feels like. What his lips feel like and the desire that pools inside of him is just as stark and desperate as it had been during the times in Japan. 

A quick thought wonders whether or not it is okay for them to indulge themselves without Stephen. Tony wonders if Stephen would be jealous, but he knows better. Stephen wouldn't have asked the god to go to Tony if he would have. 

Stephen knows Tony's moods well enough to know what he would want in a time like this. Loki steps in closer and Tony watches as the god's eyes dilate and fill with desire. 

"I too desire company tonight. I too long for the touch of another on a night like this." Loki's words are almost purrs as he speaks and there is a spark of confidence about him that Tony realises had been missing and slowly being returned over the last week or so. 

Loki under the influence of the sceptre had been confident. Arrogant. Horrible and cruel too, but with that, there had been an air of authority and confidence that had all but been dissolved by the time the influence had faded. 

But it was coming back, along with Loki's personality and his sense of self and Tony can't help but believe the god as he speaks of his wants and desires. 

"Who am I then to deny a god?" Tony asks, his voice soft as he takes the last step required to invade Loki's personal space. He's not quite sure who reaches out for who first. 

All he knows is that Loki's lips are on his and they are cool and refreshing and enough to shock Tony out of his thoughts. 

After that, it is all too easy to lose himself in the god's lips and the feel of the hardening cock against his stomach as his own cock responds. 

It is all too easy and familiar to strip Loki out of his linen shirt, to run his hand along the slender torso and to tease at the nipples even as the god's hand cups his hardening cock and strokes it. 

"Fuck me." Tony mutters into Loki's mouth as he pulls the god even closer and pulls Loki's hand towards his arse. He can feel Loki's surprise but he doesn't care. 

Time for thinking and for complicated emotions are over and now all he wants is to feel pleasure. To lose himself to it. He wants and needs Loki's cock buried inside of him so deep that all he can feel is that. 

"Beloved, I- I do not need-" Loki starts to say. In another moment, on another day, Tony might have cared about the fact that he was about to do something that might change the dynamics of their relationship.

Loki had made it clear that he would not be willing to take either of them until they trusted him enough. Until Stephen had no fear. But Tony isn't afraid of Loki. And he wants. Now. 

"But I do." Tony mutters hungrily into the god's lips as he stands on tiptoes and pulls the god against himself almost aggressively until their cocks touch and both moan at the pleasure of it all. 

"If you are certain." Loki whispers back as the kisses continue. Tony pulls Loki down onto the ground. He doesn't have the patience to get to the bedroom and right now, the feel of hardwood against his back is what he wants. 

Loki raises an eyebrow, but when Tony pulls him down, despite the fact that the god can resist the pull if that is what he wants as easily as taking candy from a  baby , Loki complies. 

This is the first time that Loki takes control of their sexual... endeavours and there is almost awe in his eyes as he strokes Tony's body. As he watches Tony stretched out on the floor, lit only by the Arc Reactor in his chest and the lights of the city outside. 

"You are so beautiful." Loki mutters as if he can't help himself as he strips Tony of his clothes and runs his cool fingertips along Tony's thighs. Tony can't help but want more. No.  _ Need _ more. 

Tony pulls the god down and kisses him thoroughly as he bucks into the soft leather pants the god always wears. They are fitted to a fault onto the god's body and Tony knows how to undo the leather strings that hold the pants into place now. He knows how to peel them off of the god's body. 

Loki does it with a wave of his hand and when the cool skin touches his, it's almost a shock. A pleasant one. Tony has wondered during their time in Kyoto what it would feel like to have the coolness of Loki's cock inside of his body. 

And now, he is  _ desperate _ to find out. Loki wants to take his time, Tony can  see and feel that. But at the same time, the hunger and need burns in both of them and it is hard to tell whether it is just Tony's need that the god catches and runs with. 

It doesn't matter. 

What matters is the cool fingers entering his body and the warm wetness that spreads inside of him. Magic is a wondrous thing, Tony thinks as the god's finger moves smoothly inside of him, aided by whatever magical lube the god has conjured up inside of him. 

Loki is quick to find the spot in Tony that makes him pant and moan like an amateur porn star as the god kisses the moans away. Loki latches onto his neck and his movements are more confident than what Tony had expected as Loki explores his body to the fullest extent. 

The coolness of Loki's touches don't become any warmer as the god spreads Tony's legs, situates himself between them and more fingers are added into his body. But Tony burns hotter and hotter as the pleasure fills his blood and body. 

The sure nature of the god's fingers feel fantastic against the heat of his own insides and Loki moans when Tony tightens his hole and tries to hold onto the fingers as they leave. 

"Loki- J-Just fuck me already!" Tony demands as the god raises an eyebrow. 

"Impertinent human." Loki mutters, almost fondly as he presses firmly down onto the knot of nerves that send pleasure shooting up and down Tony's spine. The cry that comes from Tony's lips as he throws his head back cannot be helped. 

"Please!" Tony almost shouts as Loki continues to press and to caress at that spot. Tony can hear the god's chuckle and he knows that he has given in and given the god exactly what he had wanted to hear, but he doesn't given a flying fuck. 

"As you wish." Loki mutters back as the fingers leave and Tony feels the loss for just a moment before he feels the shock of the cool cock entering his body. 

Loki is careful, but he isn't slow. Tony is wet enough and well prepped enough to take the long, thick cock the god has been blessed with. For a short moment, Tony wonders if all Asgardians or indeed Frost Giants are so well endowed before he loses track of anything but the feel of Loki entering him. 

The God of Mischief moans and buries his head against the crook of Tony's neck as he bottoms out and Tony wraps his arms around the god a little too tightly as he tries to adjust to the feel of it all. 

The almost cold nature of Loki's skin against his burning hot skin along with the feel of that cold cock inside of him is a shock to the system and it's all the more arousing for it. 

"Move  damn it !" Tony demands after a moment. He wants to feel the power of Loki's body, the one that has been able to survive a beating from the Hulk. He wants to feel the full strength that Loki has and he wants it to push him to his limits and he- 

Loki pushes himself up and as he does, he pulls Tony up with him. The movement is quick but careful and by the time that Tony's head stops spinning from the sudden movement, all he can do is cry out as he is impaled onto Loki's cock as the god cradles him in close. 

"Do let me know if it becomes too much." Loki bites out and Tony has just a moment to see the flash of mischief in those green eyes before Loki begins to move. 

No. That's not right. As Loki moves  _ him _ . The god's hands wrap around Tony's waist and with strength that Tony can't even fathom, the god begins to lift Tony up, almost off of his cock before slamming him back down again. 

Tears spring into Tony's eyes at the shock of it. Both the pleasure and that almost painful stretch that hits him. This is what he wanted, Tony thinks as he moans and throws his head back and clings desperately to Loki's neck and shoulders. 

The god is merciless as he slams Tony back down onto himself over and over again and Tony knows that he is going to feel it for days. It doesn't matter. It feels good and it's intense and Tony can't think anymore. All he can do is feel and that is what he needed. Wanted. 

In the quiet, darkness of the lab, the sounds of flesh hitting flesh, moans and pants fill the air as both of them lose themselves in each other. And even if it is for a short moment, it's time they don't have to think. 

Just... feel. 

~~~ 

**Monday **

**20 June 2011 **

There is only one thing for him to say. 

Fucking Tony fucking Stark. 

That is the only summary of the whole farce that the General Assembly had become, that he could provide for himself. Okay, that's not true nor fair. 

In fact, as the world would see it and as the general public would see it and Tony fucking Stark would see it, it was a fucking resounding success. The inventor had pulled a bloody genius move. Fury had fucking underestimated the man. 

Again. 

When Tony had taken Dr Bruce Banner and Thor into the Stark Towers, Fury had been annoyed. But there had been damage control to be done and he still had Black Widow, regardless of her issues, Hawkeye and most importantly, Captain America. 

That should have given him and the World Council the upper hand in terms of world politics. He had SHIELD and half of the Avengers and to boot, the chosen leader of the Avengers.

But Tony Stark had his genius, his team and the two gods. And well. This was the result. Wasn't it. 

They had not only turned the tide of public opinion that had been deadset against Loki around to the point where arresting him became an impossibility, Tony Stark had turned the Avengers Initiative, Fury's own fucking project, into his own property. 

Not only had the genius  trademarked the damned thing, but he had made them into heroes that Fury hadn't even planned on. The Avengers were never meant to be made into public heroes. They were meant to scatter and go back to their lives after the job but no. 

Between the charity work, the work that Thor and Loki did with Tony out in the streets, the doctoring that Bruce Banner did in Stark Towers, the perfectly timed action they'd taken to reveal Thor and Jane's relationship... all of that fucking shit had put them all on a pedestal. 

Even the drama in Japan hadn't shaken public opinion and faith of the world and the world's governments in Tony Stark and his Avengers. 

And now? 

Now Tony Stark had turned Loki, the one that should have been paraded in the streets as a villain, into a tragic Byronic fucking hero. He had turned the God of Lies into the voice of reason and foresight and warning. 

This was- 

Fuck. Fury can feel the headache that had been forming from the moment that the General Assembly's live broadcast had begun, setting into his head. 

It was going to take more than fucking asprin to get rid of it too. No amount of alcohol or rest was going to get rid of this headache. 

Having said all that and as painful as it is for him to admit it, Fury knows that this was the best thing that could have happened. 

The World Council was going to be on his arse about it and they were going to fucking pissed about it, but Fury  _ knows _ that Tony Stark had done what was necessary. Something that Fury and none of his plans could have done. 

The world knows now. 

It is undeniable. They have seen the very threat themselves. Fucking genius move, Fury thinks. To use Dr Jane Foster, her academic background and credibility along with Loki's magic to show and to explain the threat of the universe that is now breathing down their necks... Fury could never have come up with that sort of idea. Nor executed it. 

But having seen it, having  seen the armada that had been coming for them through Loki's magic, to see the threat of Thanos and the danger that might be coming for them- 

The United Nations, the World Council, in fact every single fucking government and the world overall doesn't have a choice. 

The Asgardians might not be enough of a shield to protect them against all of that. They can fucking see that. There are things that he doesn't understand. No one does. Not yet. 

Even Loki and Thor can't tell them the power that Thanos has. They only have stories and legends. There are gaps even in their intel. But one thing is clear enough. 

Something was coming for them. 

And if they wanted to survive, if they wanted their little blue and green planet to survive the terror that was coming for them, there is only one option open to them. 

Cooperate. 

Just as Tony Stark probably intended. There is no choice but for the United Nations but to negotiate with the Asgardian Princes and come to an agreement. For them to agree to whatever deal that the Asgardians are willing to offer. 

And to work with Tony Stark and Stark Industries. To prepare for what is coming for them, though they don't know when or how. Gods. Fuck. This is- shit. 

"You should be resting." Fury says without even turning away from the setting sun. The warm orange and red lights of the sunset falls across the buildings of New York and the view is quite lovely, though he can barely see it. 

"Well sir, I figured I'll rest when we don't have  a universe ending problem to worry about." Coulson says and Fury would never admit it, but Gods, it is good to hear his voice. 

Fury hasn't dwelled on it. He hadn't had the time to. But he remembers the horror of seeing his agents bleeding and dying. Of knowing that they were facing certain death. Of knowing that there was so very little that they can do to prevent the Helicarrier from falling out of the goddamned skies. 

It had only been thanks to Thor and Tony Stark that they were even able to stay in the air. Then in the aftermath, reading the reports of all the injured and the dead, not even having the time to see to the welfare of the injured, it hadn't been- 

Fury isn't- He isn't a heartless man. 

He is a hard man. He has had to become hard to do the job that he does. But he isn't heartless. It had hurt. The responsibility of the lost lives and the injuries are upon his shoulders. It was upon his orders that they had acted and it was on his orders that they had even been on the Helicarrier to begin with. 

If there hadn't been so much shit going on, he would have gone to at least see to the- 

"The universe ain't ending today Agent. You're still officially on sick leave." Fury says as he does finally turn around to look at Coulson. 

It has been awhile since he had seen his right hand man and it had been- Fury will never admit it, but it had been a little lonely without him. Phil Coulson and Maria Hill. They were the two that Fury could always rely on. Two that he could always trust to watch his back and to follow through with his orders. 

The thought of losing Coulson had been... unpleasant. Even now, knowing that the man was alive and well, the fear wasn't completely gone. Well. It's not fear. Not really. It's more- 

He doesn't have time for this. 

"Well sir, I have received an official all clear from the doctors and considering the current situation, I'm sure you have work for me." Coulson says in that mild tone that he always has. 

Fury indulges the man with a rare smile before he nods as his thoughts percolate and the answers settle in his head. 

"Fine. In that case, I'm guessing you've seen the UN meeting?" The question buys him the last bit of time he needs to come to a conclusion. 

"Yes sir." Coulson answers and waits, his hands lightly clasped behind him, his legs shoulder  width  apart. A perfect combat-ready stance. Fury nods to the man again as he turns back around to look out into the city. 

"I think it's time we talk to Tony Stark again don't you?" Fury asks as he looks out towards the Stark Tower, where no doubt Tony and his team are gathered to celebrate their victory. 

"Round 2 sir?" Coulson asks and Fury nods. He has most definitely lost the first round but he won't lose this time, he thinks as he waves a hand towards his desk, where a discrete file lays. 

"This time, we'll have the advantage." Fury tells him, his back still turned and his eye firmly pointed towards Stark Tower. 

This time, Tony Stark won't win. 

~~~ 

**Monday **

**20 June 2011 **

"I am Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of Asgard and Protector of the Nine Realms." Thor's voice is... thunderous. 

Even through the television, it's- there's something odd about his voice. About the way that he speaks. It's like- It's like watching something out of sync. 

Peter can hear the words that he is saying, but the mouth movements that Thor makes doesn't match the words that are being said. Or at the very least, that's the way that it feels. 

It's not exactly out of sync either. Maybe just a little. Peter  doesn't actually know or understand. But he does remember the news telling him that Thor and Loki can use what they call Allspeak. 

A magical ability that lets them speak and for everyone, no matter what language, to understand them. Clearly. With no miscommunication. 

Magic. 

Aliens was easier to understand than magic, Peter thinks. It is easier to believe the aliens, especially since Peter has seen so many of them in the skies and he had seen the news. 

But magic? 

That was so not- not logical! Magic is a trick, it is- 

"Aunt May, is magic real?" Peter can't help but ask, though he doesn't turn his head to face her as he focuses on the TV and the highlight reel of the General Assembly meeting. 

Aunt May had told him that it was a historical moment and that it was important for him to watch it, even if he doesn't understand all of it and even though as she had said, he doesn't understand all of it, Peter doesn't mind watching it. 

He gets to stay up a lot later than his usual  bedtime and on top of that, there is Mr Tony Stark, taking the microphone. 

"It's- There's something some author said a long time ago. Magic is just- um... magic is just science we don't understand yet." May doesn't sound very sure as she speaks, but Peter isn't surprised. 

May's attention is divided between packing his lunch for school and on the TV. 

On the TV screen, Tony Stark steps up to the podium and Peter isn't sure if he had seen Mr Stark looking so serious before. There is none of that usual humour that twinkles in the genius inventor's eyes. Instead, there is something like... fear? No. It can't be. Iron Man isn't afraid of anything right? 

He was fearless enough to take a missile through a wormhole in the skies. He can't be afraid... right? 

But Peter recognises that look. 

The odd dark light that almost curtains the man's eyes is one that that he had seen before. In May's eyes. On her face. When she realised that she would be responsible for Peter. 

It had only been there for a short time before she had taken a deep breath and given him a wide reassuring smile and told him that it would  all be okay. 

But Mr Stark doesn't say that it will  all be okay. 

"We are no longer alone. We have not been alone. You have heard from Dr Foster. You have seen the reality of the universe that exists outside of what we know. There is much that we still don't know. But there is one thing that we do know and we need to acknowledge." Mr Stark says, his voice almost... grim. 

"Just as we know that they are out there and that they are dangerous, they too know that about us now." For some reason, as he hears those words, Peter can almost feel the little hairs on his neck rise. 

The silence that stretches for a long moment after that announcement hasn't been edited out and Peter holds his breath as he waits for Tony to continue. 

That can't be it. Tony Stark isn't the type to just outline a problem. He is the type to identify the problem and then provide the solution. Or at the very least the start of a solution. 

"That is not to say that the danger will come to us tomorrow. It might be a year. Or ten years. But the danger will come. There is no need to panic. No. There is no  _ time _ to panic. There is only time to prepare." Tony says and Peter turns to look at May for the first time. 

"Aunt May?" He asks as he sees that her hands have stopped, the knife poised above the sandwich. The fear is back in her eyes and it confirms what Peter should be feeling. He doesn't like it. 

"It's going to be okay Peter. Iron Man and the Avengers will protect us. Everything is- everything is going to be okay." May says and Peter sees that reassuring smile again. 

But that's not what he had wanted to hear. That's not what he was worried about. Instead of worry and fear, he feels excitement. He nods anyway as Tony continues to speak. 

"And that preparation starts today. With allies. With advancements in science and technology that the world will have to work on together. It begins with everyone putting aside their differences and politics aside to work together." Tony says and as he does, his tone becomes lighter. 

Hope and excitement fills Peter's heart in a way he  hasn't experienced before. That is what he had been waiting for. 

A solution. A path towards the future. One day, he thinks, one day, he was going to contribute to that advancement of science and technology. 

One day, he was going to be a part of something good. Something big. Even if it meant that he would have to study and work hard. 

"I'm going to help him." Peter announces as he turns to look at May and she raises an eyebrow at him, the knife still poised above the sandwich. 

"Oh? Well, you're going to have to start studying then." May tells him and she finally looks down to the sandwich and cuts it neatly in half before she puts the knife down. 

"I will. I promise, Aunt May." Peter tells her excitedly as he turns his attention back to the TV. 

One day. 

~~~ 


	29. Not What You Expected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen Strange is used to making hard decisions. He just doesn't realise that in trying to protect those that he loves, he does more harm than good. 
> 
> In the mean time, Loki plays the middle man and tries to find his place between Tony and Stephen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello beautiful people! 
> 
> So sorry for the delay... I um... fell asleep before posting. Cause sleep and I have not been friends of late due to the ridiculous heat wave that Sydney has been going through. 
> 
> As previously stated, I will be aiming for a chapter a week for the time being as I sort out my life and try to get work, health issues and other problems (aka my house falling apart... -.-) sorted out. 
> 
> Thank you for your wonderful patience, support and love. Whenever I get down, I read and re-read the comments you leave me and they lift my spirts to no end. 
> 
> Thank you. 
> 
> Love   
Kira

**Monday **

**20 June 2011 **

He wants to go home. 

The longing is like an itch underneath his skin and it starts from the very core of his being and keeps going and going until it's almost impossible to... breathe. 

The chambers at the Kamar-Taj, a place he's as familiar with, if not more than the Tower or anywhere else he has called home at one point or another has never felt so... foreign and uncomfortable as it does now. 

He could just go back. He has a few moments to spare and it won't take long. It would just take a small expansion of power to open the portal, to step through and to pull- 

No. Stop it. Now isn't the- 

But he can't stop thinking about it. He can almost  _ feel _ Tony in his arms. He can almost taste Tony's lips against his and- 

Stop. God, Stephen Strange. Stop. 

Now is not the time for this. It really, really isn't. He needs to focus. He needs to get the plan clear in his head and he needs to get the preparations done so that he can undo his mistakes. 

But it's- 

Along with the longing and desire for Tony, is the pride that he feels. It almost feels like his heart is about to burst with the magnitude of his lover's achievements today. 

Stephen hasn't been able to spend the time to watch the whole presentation given by Tony and the others at the General Assembly. But what he has managed to watch and the reports that he has received has been- 

God. 

If he had been home, if he had been able to be there with the rest of them, he would have pulled Tony into his arms and held him, whispered just how proud he was before he proceeded to worship every inch of the genius's body to prove just how proud he was. 

But Tony knows already. Stephen knows that. And Tony won't have the time to celebrate. Not right now. 

Even though the response from both the political world and the general public was overwhelmingly positive, their work was just getting started. 

The fear that had settled into both the crowd inside of the General Assembly and the world outside as the truth of the universe previously unknown has been revealed had been both overwhelming and expected. 

The concern that this may have  been the last straw to break the camel's back had been true and real. But Tony had stepped up to the podium and the mic. And with his words, he has tampered down upon that fear and in its place, he had ignited hope. 

It had been a glorious moment. 

Stephen had felt it. Even without knowing what was going on in that moment. The Time Stone had come to life and had sent a thrill down his spine. The  path that humanity was on was changing. It was a moment that would forever go down in history. 

But that hope is bound to falter and to break without forward momentum. Which meant that Tony had not only the work  of  preparing for the weeks and months of negotiations with the United Nations, but the work of preparing the foundations for the defence of the planet. 

Stephen should be there. To help. Whatever it is that he can do and whatever resources he can offer, he should be offering it all. But no. He finds himself at the Kamar-Taj. In meetings and now, for a short time, on his own to think and to prepare for- 

Stephen takes a deep breath. Even with the shields up to hide his own turmoils from Loki more than anything else, he can feel it. Just as he had felt the night before, he can feel the dark swirling emotions rushing through Tony and it's- 

Just like the night before, when the emotions had rushed through him and past him during what was possibly the  _ most important _ meeting the Council has ever held, Stephen gasps. 

The longing and desire to be home that had been plaguing him until that moment is  _ nothing _ compared to what he feels now. 

Now, there is true desperation. Stephen  _ needs _ to be there. To take away the pain  and anguish that cuts into his very soul. To soothe everything and to return a modicum of peace to the troubled mind of the genius. 

Stephen has to pause. He has to take a deep breath and he has to fight back against the instinctive desire to draw upon his powers, to- 

There is far,  _ far _ too much at stake. Far too much that needs doing that he can't just- He has responsibilities. The mantle of Sorcerer Supreme is a heavy one and one that he can't just...  abandon.

Last night, it was in the nick of  the moment that he had felt it. A soft tendril worming  its way towards his soul. A quiet, careful little stroke along the shield that he held up between them. Almost like a knock.

Hesitant. Careful. 

A reminder of his existence and the fact that he too can feel the distress of the other. That he too needs to do something. That he too  _ wants _ to do something. And that unlike Stephen, he  _ can _ do something. 

Just like now. 

It starts with a soft tingle that rushes up his spine. It's like a sensual caress running up and down his spine. The lightest of feathery touches and Stephen can't help but close his eyes and shudder as he struggles against the desire to just give in. 

To let Loki in. 

It's- ever since they'd come to that understanding in Kyoto, it's been more... difficult to keep the shields up between them. It's not that the fear in itself has faded. It hasn't. 

It is that now, the Connection, the Bond and in essence, Stephen's magic in itself wants and needs to be connected with Loki. It's as if his magic, his very fucking soul was addicted to Loki's Seidr. 

Temporary as it may have been, having something so... completely and utterly  _ Loki _ inside of him has changed Stephen and his magic. 

It's as if his magic itself craved and wanted to entangle and intertwine itself with Loki's seidr and just trying to hold it all back behind the shield was becoming more and more difficult. Exhausting even. 

Every fibre of his being just wants to give in. 

To let Loki in and to let the god's magic tangle with his and to offer him the comfort and safety that he wants. It's- The distance and time spent apart from  _ both _ Tony and Loki  wasn't helping matters. 

And the need to be with them, to feel that calm and that warmth that he is desperate for is making him take risks that is uncharacteristic of him. Stephen knows that. He needs to stop all this. He needs to- 

The breath that Stephen lets out is a shuddering one. But as he does, the decision is made and with it, some semblance of calm settles over his mind. 

"Friday?" Stephen calls softly. The watch on his wrist responds with a soft ping. Stephen can't help but stroke it softly with his shaking hands. The watch is a constant reminder of the love that he shares with Tony. Of the love and trust that Tony has for him. 

"Yes Master?" Friday's voice is subdued. Not chirpy and bright as it had always been. Stephen knows why. As much as he wishes that she wouldn't, he knows that she has been monitoring absolutely everything that has been going on. 

And she wasn't happy. 

"Can you call Loki if he is available and alone?" Stephen asks. Instead of the quick response that she generally gives, all he gets from Friday is a heavy sigh. He's not surprised. 

This isn't the request that Friday had been waiting for. That she has been wanting. It's not surprising in the least, but Stephen can't help but feel a pang of guilt that adds to the burdens he already feels. 

"Master, perhaps you should-" Friday says after a moment, but Stephen can't. The temptation is high enough as it is and he- He just... can't. 

"Please." He says, interrupting her. There is a sullen pause for a moment before the AI confirms his request. 

Friday isn't... wrong. 

Contacting Tony to let him know about the situation that he finds himself in, that the Order has found itself in, is most likely a wise course of action. 

And when Tony finds out about what Stephen has been up to and the situation that he has found himself in, the genius will be upset. And when he reveals the risks that he is about to undertake, Tony is going to be angry. Furious even. 

Stephen knows that. 

But at the same time, this was hardly the time to interrupt Tony and to give him yet another problem to deal with. Not when there is already so much on Tony's plate. Not when Tony's mind and emotions are already in such a tumultuous state. 

Loki doesn't need to reach out to him. He hadn't needed to the night before either. But Loki did and does. 

There is no need for Loki to ask for Stephen's permission. They are all adults and they are all within their own rights to do what they want to do and need to do. But Loki does and will ask for permission. 

He will place himself on grounds below Stephen and Tony and Stephen doesn't know how to stop the god from doing that. 

There is a part of Stephen that resents that. That knows that such inequality in their standings will only make the relationship that they seek to build... difficult. 

But he also can't help but feel... grateful. 

The relationship that he has built with Tony is one that has taken time and a great deal of effort from both of them. It is something that still leaves Stephen feeling amazed. That manages to take his breath away despite the fact that it has now become a part of his life. 

The fact that Loki respects that relationship, that he has no desires to step in between them and seeks to build a relationship with them slowly and  carefully is something Stephen can appreciate. 

Knowing that doesn't make it any easier to ask the god to do something that Stephen should be doing,  _ wants _ to be doing. 

Stephen runs a hand down his tired face and sits down heavily in his chair as he waits for Friday to confirm through the Tower's cameras where Loki is and to contact him. 

"Master, I have Prince Loki on the line." Friday says softly. Her voice is still sullen and Stephen imagines that it will remain that way until he has that talk with Tony or until the situation is handled and he can go home. 

He's not sure which will come first. 

"Thank you." Stephen says as he pulls out his phone as the connections are made. 

"Evening." Loki's voice is soft and careful. He can't help that, Stephen supposes. They might have come to an understanding, but it didn't mean that all the emotions and guilt has been resolved. 

It's not that simple. 

That will take a bit more time. Still. There  _ is _ enough of an understanding between the two of them and indeed with Tony, at the very least, for this conversation. 

"Thank you." Stephen says in lieu of a greeting. There is a pause on the other end of the line for a moment before there is a heavy sigh. 

"You cannot return. Though you need him as much as he needs you at this moment, you will not return." Loki says. 

The insight and the quick nature of Loki's mind isn't a surprise to Stephen. He has seen the god's political exploits through the Time Stone enough to know what the god is capable of. 

"Be there for him. Please." Stephen says instead. The plea is heavy in his voice. It is so... difficult to ask. To make that plea. And Loki has to know that. He has to feel that. So he doesn't expect there to be a denial. And there isn't. But there isn't a 'yes' either. 

"He longs for  _ you, _ not I." Loki  replies in a matter of fact voice . Stephen knows. He can feel it. It's like the call of a siren ringing from the depths of his own fucking soul. 

Stephen can't quite stop the sigh that comes. He leans back in his chair and feels the tension throughout his body and longs for the warmth of his lover. 

"He doesn't need the distraction of my problems right now. Will you-" Go to him? Stephen is about to say, but the god interrupts him. 

"Two days, Stephen Strange. That is all that I am and he is willing to wait. If you will not come to us by then, we will come to you. Regardless of consequences." Loki's voice is firm. Confident. Arrogant almost. Demanding. 

It's a shock to the system to hear that tone, that voice from Loki. It is every bit princely as Stephen had heard through the Time Stone. It sends a thrill of excitement down Stephen's spine. 

He shouldn't. A part of him doesn't. But the majority of him... likes it. It excites him to hear that confidence in Loki's voice after the way that Loki had fallen apart. 

Despite the contents of Loki's words and the obvious threat contained therein, Stephen can't help the smile that comes to his lips. This is the Loki that he'd expected and the Loki that he had wanted to get to know. 

Thank the Vishanti for small blessings, Stephen thinks. 

"That is... longer than I expected." Stephen admits eventually. He had expected Loki to teleport to him. To break through the numerous shields throughout the Kamar-Taj to demand answers. 

Perhaps for himself or at Tony's request. But it seems that both the God of Mischief and Tony Stark, for once, was exercising patience and caution. Stephen is grateful. 

"He trusts you. He trusts that when you made the decision to step away from his side, when you have decided not to speak to him of the troubles that you face, there are reasons. As do I." Loki says and the understanding of Tony and their relationship that he displays is a welcome surprise. 

"I know. I just- This is a situation that I have brought into existence. It's something I should deal with." Stephen says. There is a pause on the other line for a moment before a heavy sigh comes through. 

"And yet, you will foresee the problems heading towards Anthony and shoulder them for yourself without his knowledge." Loki's words, spoken in that snide tone that shows the frustration the god feels is- 

It cuts deeper than Stephen is willing to admit. Loki's right. All this time, since he had been chosen by the Time Stone, that is exactly what Stephen had been doing. Taking the necessary actions to protect Tony without Tony's permission or at times, even without Tony's knowledge. 

"I-" Stephen isn't quite sure what he meant to say. What he wants to say. All he knows is that there is a sudden wave of guilt that rushes through him and he needs to do something. Say something to fix it. 

"Along with the trust, there is worry and fear that will not fade. It will be a distraction far greater than the problems that you face. But we will wait, Stephen Strange. For now." Loki says, his tone softer this time before the line goes dead. 

Stephen holds onto the phone, listening to the beeps for a long moment. Speechless. Dumbfounded. 

It wasn't what he had expected from the phone call, but Stephen knows that those words could not have been easy for Loki to say. 

It's a risk for Loki to rock the boat and to bring the frustration and anger that he feels out into the open towards Stephen. But the god has done it because Stephen had needed to hear those words.

Stephen needs to think. 

He needs to think about Loki's words, the way that he has been withholding information  until this point. He needs to think about how he has been approaching all of the problems that have been coming for them. 

But not now. 

For now, there are spells to be worked. There are preparations to be made. The plan has already been set into motion and it was too late for Stephen to rethink. To change anything. 

But next time? Next time... might just be different. 

~~~ 

**Tuesday**

**21 June 2011**

Joe's lives up to  its reputation. A bar opened by one of the vets for the vets. The drinks are cheap and the conversation easy. 

It's small and dark. Dingy, the young crowd would say. That's fine. It's not the type of place for the young crowd. Especially not in the middle of the day. 

In the middle of the day, there are games of backgammon, chess and domino being played on the rickety tables and the smell of smoke and cheap beer tingles whatever senses the old patrons have left. 

" How’s  about that, huh?" Clem speaks up as he keeps his eyes focused solely on the ancient television hanging from the corner of the bar. 

He fiddles with his hearing aid, making sure that the volume is high enough so that he can catch every single little word being spoken. The others go quiet around him too. 

The bar is never a rowdy one to start off with. But it is unusual for the TV to be playing something other than some sport or another for background noise. This is the type of bar people come to talk and reminisce and to drown their sorrows. 

The barkeep is just as old and as familiar with them as they are familiar with him. He doesn't need much more of a signal to turn the volume up. 

"As the second day of special General Assembly Meeting continues at the United Nations, the resources and advancements of science and technology as well as... magic that is available to the Asgardians are being revealed to the world." The reporter, a young, pretty thing, speaks up as she hesitates over the word 'magic'. 

Over in the corner, Clem can see one of his old friends, one that had always been  a devout  Catholic, cross himself as he throws a look up into the skies as if asking for help. 

Help from the skies? Clem doesn't think that's a wise thing. After all, there were already gods walking amongst them now. The last thing that they need or want are more of them. This is bad enough. 

"It is projected that for the next two days, the Asgardians will outline the assistance and resources that they would be willing to offer in exchange for a mutual agreement for Earth and for Asgard to work together to protect the- uh- Nine Realms that we are a part of, against the threats of other possible alien invasions." The uncertainty in her voice and her words along with the sheer ridiculousness of the words that she is saying isn't lost on the reporter. 

It isn't lost on them either. 

The day that Germany started their march of death and destruction across Europe, Clem had thought all the news of it ridiculous and impossible. That is what it always feels like when the world changes. 

But like he did and the world did, they will adjust. Just like the word Nazi and Hitler forming a part of the world's consciousness these days, words like Asgard and magic will feel just as natural soon. 

That's just what happens. 

"Well sonny, you gonna be involved in that?" Clem  asks the man to the right of him. As  discreet as the man may try to be, it's impossible for him not to stand out like a sore thumb in here. 

Well, it doesn't help that every single one of them recognises the man. From back in the day , to wha t they have seen on television of recent. It also doesn't help that he's the only one under the age of 70 to be sitting about this bar with them. 

He is older than most of them too, but given that he'd been asleep for 70 years, Clem figures it's okay to treat him like the kid he looks like. 

"I doubt it. I've never been much for politics." The man says with a shrug. 

Captain Steve Grant Rogers. Captain fucking America. Clem has to admit that even now, there is a thrill of excitement and something akin to awe as he sits next to the man, despite the fact that it has been weeks, nay months, since they have gotten to know each other. 

Clem remembers the first day that Steve Rogers had walked into the bar. The way that he had looked around and the way that his shoulders had slumped as if he had finally found some modicum of peace. 

The awe  and respect that Clem and the others have felt for the Captain hadn't been much of a hurdle when it came to welcoming him like the hero that he was. 

The history that they can share with him, about the changing times and the life that he has missed out on has been good for both them and for him. 

Something about Captain America had softened during the time that they have spent together and Clem knows that Joe's and the company that it offers is something that Steve Rogers needs to feel... connected to the world that he has found himself in. 

They are the connection between the history that has left Steve Rogers behind and the world that he tries to protect now. It's a role that Clem and the others have taken to with gusto. 

"Yeah but it seems like politics has a use for you." One of the other says as the door opens and through opened door, the daylight floods in. It's not a welcome intrusion, but the beautiful young woman with her shock of red hair, is. 

"Should I bother asking how you found me?" Steve Rogers asks as he looks away from her and down at his beer. 

"Should I bother to answer?" The woman asks in turn, her green eyes flashing brilliantly with amusement. But as her eyes go up to the TV screen at the corner of the bar, they become serious. Deadly serious. 

"We need to go." The red headed woman says, but contrary to her firm tone, she sidles along the bar and settles with her elbows behind her on the bar as she looks around the space and at Captain America. 

"Why? It's not like there's anything happening at the moment that needs-" Rogers starts to say, but the young woman interrupts him. 

"There's always something that could use your help Cap. It's been a matter of whether you were up for it or not. As it is, now, you don't have a choice." The woman says and there is a faint note of apology, though her words are more commanding than the hard nosed captains Clem was used to dealing with from back in the day. 

"What happened?" The change of attitude and demeanour is obvious. Gone are the soft eyes, the reluctance and all that could be seen now was the man about to go on a mission. Steve Rogers donning the persona of Captain America. 

Clem can't help but feel for the young man. The burden that he bears is a heavy one and Clem has heard already just how heavy it is. Poor thing. 

"Let's just say that there's been a breach." The young woman says and it is only when Clem really thinks about it that he recalls who she is. She's the woman that had been dressed in those tight black clothes fighting her way through the aliens during the Battle of New York. 

On the television, during all the footage that had come out after, she had seemed a lot... bigger. A lot fiercer. But now, she seems petite and fragile compared to Steve Rogers. Still, there's an edge about her. An air of deadliness about her that sets Clem on edge. 

"Black Widow, right?" Clem can't help but ask as the woman's green eyes turn to him. She raises a perfectly plucked eyebrow at his direction as she nods firmly. 

"What do you think about all this?" Clem asks, his curiosity getting the better of him, as he gestures towards the television. Decades ago, when he was young and more cautious, he would have held his tongue. 

But now, he is old enough and lived long enough and whatever is left of his life is short enough that he doesn't need to bother holding back his curiosity. 

There is a bit of hesitation in the young woman as she, no doubt, debates ignoring him before she shrugs her shoulders and chooses to answer him. Good manners then, Clem thinks as she speaks. 

"That it is far, far beyond my paycheck, sir." There's a soft scoff from Steve Rogers as he pulls his wallet out and pays the tab. 

"Nothing is beyond your paycheck." Rogers comments as the woman shrugs her shoulders. 

"I go where I am told and do what I am told to do and right now, that is... only a small part of my problems." The woman says and as she does, Clem sees Rogers narrowing his eyes before he sighs and nods. 

"Fine. I'll see you gentleman around." Rogers says with that bright smile of his before he follows the woman out of the bar. 

The silence that is left behind is only broken by the ongoing news report. All of the lilting words of the reporter slips by Clem's attention as he wonders just what the world was coming to. 

He can't help but wonder whether or not he would live long enough to see how this particular threat and this particular moment will change the world. Will he live long enough to see a future where aliens and alien gods walk amongst them in peace as he now see Germans walking through the streets of New York with the Jews? 

Or will there will be another war based on different ideologies and beliefs and a being that will take the mantle of villain left behind by Adolf Hitler? 

Just the thought of it is enough to send a shudder down his spine. If that is the future that was coming down the pipeline, Clem wasn't all too sure if he wanted to live to see it. 

But then, it wasn't up to him, was it? 

~~~ 

**Tuesday **

**21 June 2011 **

The darkness and the silence is stifling. 

Even though permissions had been gained and that he knows that he is both welcomed and needed, Loki cannot help but feel that he is... overstepping. That he is invading. 

This isn't the first time. Not even the second time. But as Loki makes his way through the darkened hallways and walks into the lab that Tony and Stephen shares, he cannot help the nervousness that fills him. 

It is... ridiculous. Nervousness? For a being like him? It is almost an unknown feeling. But Loki feels it regardless as he cuts a path towards where his soul awaits. 

The past few days and nights have been difficult. Tony's inner turmoils have been hidden well throughout the day times, but when the night falls and the others retire, they manifest and rage. 

Loki is not surprised by the emotions. He too feels them. So does Stephen. It is- The bonds that they have managed to form and to build in the time away from New York have all but stirred up the other emotions and problems between them. 

The Bond and the Connection just wasn't strong enough to ground them completely between each other and yet, through  its fragile connections, they have begun the process of bringing them together and binding them close and that in itself brings problems. 

The troubles that have ailed them prior to Japan have yet to settle in their minds.  There were still emotions that swirl in their minds that have yet to be dealt with, understood and accepted. 

Those emotions and that confusion is not only in Tony's mind but his own and in Stephen's. Even without Tony's turmoil, Loki knows well enough that he too would have longed for company throughout the past few nights. 

"He won't call me." Tony says as he stands by the window once again. For a moment as Loki looks upon the faintly lit form of his Soulmate, he can't help but lose his breath. 

Anthony Edward Stark is a beautiful creature. A man that deserves all the best that the world can give him. That Loki can give him. 

"He does not wish to burden you with his concerns." Loki says quietly. The frustration that Tony feels is one that he shares. But the trust that he feels towards Stephen and the need to allow the Sorcerer Supreme the freedom to do what he needs to do means that they must wait. 

"So he sent you to me instead. Again." Tony says. His words may be resentful, but his tone isn't. 

"I came of my own accord." The words are all too familiar already. Tony nods as he hears them. He doesn't turn around still, just looking out into the dark night skies. 

The reluctance is there. The desire for something else, for  _ someone _ else makes Tony reluctant. Loki knows that. He understands that. Even if it hurts. 

But he doesn't let it stop him from moving towards the genius. Nothing can. 

Tony stiffens a little when Loki reaches out to hold him from behind, but soon enough, the man relaxes into the hold and sighs. 

"I don't want him to get hurt." Tony says, voicing the fear that they both hold. Loki can't help but hum softly as he agrees with the sentiment. 

"I know. I will do what I can to protect him, Anthony. I swear it." Loki says softly as he lowers his head to kiss the back of Tony's neck softly. 

The man leans into the hold and the touch and tilts his head to give better access. It's all the permission that Loki needs to indulge himself. He kisses his way up and down Tony's neck as the man moans and shifts in his arms. 

Just like the past few nights, they don't talk for long. That isn't what either of them needs. What they need and want is their third. In lieu of him, what they need is the physical comfort of each other's bodies. 

A distraction to shake them out of their thoughts and their fears. It is but a momentary one. But it is enough to tide them over yet another night as they wait. 

As they fear. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**22 June 2011 **

This is not what he expected. 

"Well. This is unexpected." Agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD cannot help but comment as he walks into the room. 

When he'd gotten the message of this particular visitor whilst he'd been in a meeting with Fury, he has to admit that his eyebrow had almost climbed into his hairline with the surprise. 

"I never thought that you would come walking through the front door." Coulson adds as he walks towards his chair and settles into it. 

Though he makes a pretence of familiarity with the room, it isn't his office. Instead, the room is a glorified interrogation room. And Coulson has no doubts that the man sitting comfortably  on the sofa in front of the desk is aware of that. 

He has to be. 

The two way glass behind Coulson is disguised as proper windows to the outside and the images displayed on the screen is high resolution enough and reflective of the view outside, but he doubts that it is good enough to fool the man in front of him. 

And despite the layout being that of a stereotypical office that one would expect from a government organisation as  theirs , there's a certain lack of... lived in feeling that gives the set up away. 

Through the small,  discreet earpiece , Coulson can hear Fury settling in behind the false windows, waiting, watching, analysing. 

Coulson isn't quite sure why it is him that is in this room and not Fury himself. Not that he would dare to question Fury's decision. If Fury has deemed it necessary for him to be in the room, there had to be a reason for it. 

The file that he brought into the room is the one that Fury had handed to him on his first day back from his sick bed. 

It has been days and he has been studying every little detail available and he  has  still yet to fully comprehend nor understand the information that it contains and what it all... means. 

Moreover, he's not quite sure how he feels about the man in front of him and just how he fits into everything that has taken place. Even when he is at the centre of it all. 

Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange. 

A neurosurgeon and well known genius in his field. A man that holds the exact same genetics as a man that should be dead. A man that has come out of nowhere to win unconditional trust from Tony Stark and a billionaire in his own right with the D'Arte Corporation behind him. 

It's... almost too convenient. Everything about the man is too convenient and yet every look throughout the man's history comes back clean. The records are all there. Not quite perfect, but then if it had been, Coulson would have been even more suspicious. 

If that was even possible. 

"You are not as  discreet  as you believe yourself to be." Stephen says. His voice is calm and quiet. 

Coulson takes a moment to get a measure of the man. It's not the first time that they have met and indeed not even the first time that they had conversed. 

Yet, there is something different about Stephen Strange this  time . 

He sits there, in the comfortable sofa, dressed immaculately in a beautifully tailored grey suit with a pale blue shirt. His clothes render his pale grey blue eyes almost the colour of the skies and there is something almost otherworldly about them. 

"Oh? What tipped you off?" Coulson asks. They had been very careful not to set off any alarms as they have gone about their investigations. But if the man knows about them, this isn't the time to hide their interests. 

They have been looking into the doctor for some time now, but since new information had come to light, that investigation had been ramped up. But they have been- 

"My mother has a well developed social network, Agent Coulson." There is almost amusement in Stephen's voice as he speaks that reminds Coulson of speaking to Tony  Stark . 

There is nothing about him that shows that he is nervous or tense at all. Instead, there is the quiet confidence of a man holding all the cards. Which is... all the more confusing. 

Coulson can't help but wonder why the man was here. 

He could have stayed in the Tower and gone about his business and it wasn't as if Coulson had even been planning on approaching the man. No. The information was supposed to lead him into a conversation with Tony Stark. 

Considering the loyalty that  Tony Stark has shown when it comes to the man, it would have given them a good start into negotiating with Tony Stark. 

Apparently that loyalty was returned. 

"I see. So I am supposing that you have decided to come to us instead of letting us speak to Mr Stark. Why?" Coulson asks as he too relaxes into his chair and leans back. It's not going to be a short conversation. 

Stephen Strange gives him a soft smile, almost as if he is praising Phil for getting the answer right. 

"It's not that difficult to figure out why you might be so suddenly interested in me again." Stephen says as he shrugs. The flash of pain that goes through his eyes are all the confirmation that Phil needs. 

But how to approach it, Phil can't help but debate as he looks down at the file in his hand. 

Rule number one to a successful interrogation is simple. Have a goal. A plan. Investigators will often use up valuable interrogation time to sit and plan out the interview before they even set foot into the interrogation room. 

Coulson hasn't had that luxury. Not really. The plan that Coulson has laid out is not the one that had been prepared for Stephen Strange. But the goal was simple enough. 

At the end of the day, what Fury needed and wanted and what the World Security Council wanted and needed was a way to get to Tony Stark. To control the man before he goes too far outside of their control and their purview and he becomes truly dangerous with no oversight. 

And in order to do that, they might have to do a few things that might leave a sour taste in his mouth, but Phil Coulson knows all too well that in a job like his, sometimes what mattered was the result. And Tony Stark was too dangerous to be allowed to have all the influence and power as he does now. 

"Since you came of your own volition, am I to believe that you came to explain this?" Coulson says as he pulls the touch screen tablet from the folder and places it in front of Stephen as he presses the  'play’ button . 

Stephen doesn't watch it. Not all of it. There is obviously a look of recognition as he finds himself on the screen, but it is also clear that whatever has happened after hadn't been a pleasant experience for the man to recall as he turns away from the images. 

Coulson doesn't watch the screen. Instead, he watches the doctor as the men on the screen jab a needle filled with something into Stephen's neck and disappears, carrying the doctor in their arms. 

Disappears. 

Just like that. As if they never existed, they are gone. Just like what Loki had done over and over again. Teleportation. For such a thing to be real is just- Phil knows that there are mutants with such an ability, but they aren't mutants. 

And that has been one of the biggest problems that Phil had to get his head around. The existence of magic outside of what the Asgardians can do and what they are. 

Humans. With magic. God. 

"Care to tell me what happened after?" Coulson asks, focusing himself and his thoughts. For a long moment, Stephen looks at him and for the first time that he has walked into the room, the calm that the man had been exuding has been shaken. 

As always in situations like this, Coulson feels a bit of thrill at having broken through the guard that Stephen had been holding up. But there is also a bit of guilt at the sheer pain in Stephen's eyes too. 

But just as quickly as the fear has appeared into the doctor's eyes, they fade and the calm returns. Coulson has to admit that he is impressed by the speed the man regains his composure as his eyes harden. 

"Let's not waste each other's time, Agent Coulson. What you really want to know is why I was taken and whether or not it was in anyway related to Anthony or the others. In addition, I have no  doubt  you would like to know who they were. What they were." Stephen says, lifting his eyes to look into Coulson's. 

Then Stephen's eyes look past Coulson to the window and he raises an eyebrow. 

"Isn't that right, Director Nicolas Fury?" Stephen asks, his voice a challenge. Though Coulson  _ knows _ that the room behind the glass is  soundproof , he swears he can hear Fury swearing up and down. 

"Do you have information that we are after, Dr Strange?" Coulson can't help but ask as the man looks at him, his eyes firmly on his as he shrugs his shoulders. 

"This is a game of chess Agent Coulson. I mean no disrespect, but you are just a pawn in this game and so is your director. It is the World Security Council that wants a way to manipulate Anthony Edward Stark. And in order to do that, they believe that they can use a kidnapping I was a victim to." The disgust in Stephen's voice is obvious. 

"That is not the only-" Coulson starts to say when Stephen continues, his eyes flashing with anger. 

"Oh yes. Of course. That ridiculous clone theory of yours, to prove which, you violated the bodies of Caroline and Matthew Strange without the permission  or  knowledge of their family members." Stephen's anger is bright and it burns and Coulson isn't quite sure what he can say to that. 

The thing is, it  _ is _ justified anger. Stephen Strange has every reason to be angry with them. They  _ have... _ stepped across some lines that shouldn't have been crossed. But it had been necessary to- 

"The thing is, Agent Coulson, I haven't come here to answer any questions. I have come here to make a declaration of my intentions so that there  is no mistaking them in the future." Stephen says with firmness, his eyes focused on the screen behind Coulson. 

"I am not a pawn to be used against Anthony Edward Stark. I have no intentions of being used as such. Do what you want with the information that you have. But know that I will defend myself and what is mine with all the resources at my disposal." Coulson feels his eyes narrow at the obvious threat. 

He wonders for a moment if Stephen Strange knows just what he is doing. Whether he is fully aware of what he was saying. Whether he knew of the resources and power behind SHIELD and just what they were capable of. 

"And to give a warning." The doctor says, his tone hard and firm and as dangerous as any being that Coulson has ever dealt with. The shudder that goes up his spine despite just how... ordinary the doctor seems is testament to just how forceful the doctor's presence is. 

Coulson  also can’t help but feel that Dr Stephen Strange knows just  _ exactly _ what he is doing. Just what he was risking and just what he was facing. 

"Anthony Edward Stark has more friends and allies than you are aware of. His intentions as far as the world is concerned is good and just. All he wants to do is to protect the people of this planet whilst ensuring that their freedoms are protected." Stephen says as he stands up from his chair. 

'Unlike you', are the words that Stephen does not say that Coulson hears regardless. He cannot help but remember the conversation that he'd shared with Natasha Romanov in the Stark Mansion. 

When she had questioned their ways, their methods. The way that she had doubted them and just what they were doing. He hadn't shared those doubts  then . But he can't help but doubt them now. 

Freedom. Privacy. Those are things that SHIELD and the World Security Council had never considered to be... important. It didn't matter if they breached the privacy of the individuals throughout the world as long as they were able to keep the secrets of aliens and mutants under the wraps. 

But at what cost? 

Coulson stands up too, though he's not sure whether he should be preventing Stephen Strange from leaving or not. He hasn't felt this out of control in an interrogation before. The confusion that he feels and all the thoughts that rush through him makes it difficult to make a decision. 

"SHIELD isn't the only  one  with a stake in the future of this planet. Neither is the World Security Council, Agent Coulson. Everyone in the world has a stake in it. And others too will do what they can do to ensure that the future exists." Stephen says and his tone is determined. 

Coulson can't help but agree to the sentiment even as the training and the corporate culture that had been drummed in his head argues against it. Normal people can't do anything to change the fate of the world. Instead, the ignorant masses just needs to not get in the way of SHIELD and the World Security Council doing their jobs. 

Right? 

"And a quick word of advice, Agent Coulson. The ends do not justify the means." Stephen says and before Coulson can even speak, the doctor looks firmly towards the windows behind Coulson, nods and walks out of the room. 

Coulson is almost dazed for a moment before he makes a move to chase after the doctor, but the firm voice from behind stops him. 

"That man is  _ far _ more than what we expected." Fury says, his voice filled with the same suspicion and almost awe that Coulson feels. he nods even as he turns to look at the director, unable to hold back his curiosity. 

"If that is all he has come here to say, then why did he bother? Why make us so suspicious of him?" Coulson asks as Fury narrows his eyes. 

Coulson is surprised when he looks into Fury's eyes. Director Nicholas Fury isn't impressed by much. But it is clear that he  _ is _ impressed by Stephen Strange and his visit. 

"To make us ask exactly that. To make himself into a target so that we take our attention off of Tony Stark." Fury says and Coulson raises an eyebrow as he looks at his director, trying to figure out what it is what he will be required to do next. 

"And will we?" Coulson asks. Fury sighs. 

"We don't have a choice. Stephen Strange has revealed himself to be far more dangerous and far more knowledgeable than we have given him credit for. And he is... easier to access right now than Tony Stark. Get Hawkeye on him." Fury says as Coulson nods as he reaches for his phone. 

"Sir, what do you think he is?" Coulson asks as Fury shakes his head. 

"I don't know. All I know is that Tony Stark isn't the only fucking problem we have now. There has to be another reason why he came. That can't be all that it was-" Just as Fury's doubts surface and as Coulson too ponders the question, the alarm blares through the loudspeakers. 

The  sound  of running feet and comms being activated throughout the building set them on edge as they turn to look at each other. 

No. It can't be. Could it? 

"Get Black Widow and Captain America on comms  _ now _ ." Fury all but growls as the understanding and suspicion settles into their minds. 

Fuck. 

~~~ 


	31. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always that... moment. 
> 
> Like lightning striking down, the realisation hits. It's nothing that you didn't know before. It generally isn't. But it is the understanding and comprehension that you'd been missing. 
> 
> It's fitting then, that such a lightning strike should hit Thor. 
> 
> He is the God of Thunder after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!! 
> 
> So, I've had a rather terrible week. For some reason, my pain level spiked really badly an hour into my work day and I had to come home (after laying around on the floor of the said office and creating a workplace hazard for a while) and it is yet to fully settle back down to the norm. 
> 
> Not cool. On the other hand, the hot weather has calmed down and now it's all stormy and grey and kinda floody. Which is um... climate change anyone!?!?! 
> 
> At any rate, I just wanted to keep you guys updated. I am still trying to write more and to get back into the routine of it all whilst I try to balance the hours at work (that I haven't been able to go to), an exercise regime and the pain induced exhaustion. Oh the joys. 
> 
> I also want to say a HUGE thank you to all of you on the Discord Server, who is being very patient with me not being around and also for Missaness. Actually, the biggest thanks to Missaness. Who is not only a wonderful beta and a sounding board, but the best mama bear ever. 
> 
> Thank you for the support, the love and I hope that AVO can bring you at least a few minutes of um... distraction (?!) from your day. 
> 
> <3 
> 
> Kira

**Wednesday **

**22 June 2011 **

Another day has passed. 

Yet another day spent in the spacious, echoing chambers of the General Assembly. Such a room, such a setting and such an atmosphere should feel familiar to him as his own bedroom. Yet it does not. 

The General Assembly is not unlike the Court that his father holds in Asgard. The clothes are different and the people are different, but the stifling atmosphere remains. 

But it  _ is _ different. 

In Asgard, he is revered. He is looked to with love and adoration, his each and every word and whim indulged and his every action, praised. Here, they are all scrutinised. 

Where he had once donned the title of Prince with arrogance and pride, he now bears the burdens and responsibilities of his people and with it, the guilt. 

There is no expectation of obedience here. No power for him to wield. There is respect paid due  to his position, but even that is a tenuous one. 

It is so different and yet, Thor knows that it is not the people that  are different. It is not the Realm that is different. It is him. 

It is his understanding that has changed. 

Being on Midgard and negotiating a treaty with  its people is no different to being on  Alfheim  and negotiating treaties there. The only thing that has changed is him. His perspective and his understanding. 

It is only now, at more than a thousand winters old that Thor truly understands what it means to rule. To hold power over the lives of the people that he leads and that he  represents . What it means to  wield Mjolnir and what the oath that he had flippantly given means. 

Till now, he had wielded the power of Mjolnir and his title as Prince of Asgard with mere childish whims and desires. He had not understood the lives at stake. He had not seen the folly of his ways. 

He does now. 

And that burden weighs  heavily upon his shoulders and heart. So much is at stake. So much more than what he had ever dreamt of, back in the days of his childhood as he dreamt of war and glory. 

He has seen the devastation. The aftermath. He now sees the true price of war and conflict. Peace and peaceful solutions that he had looked so down upon is something that he prays for and longs for. And yet, it is his childish desire for war that he knows will come his way. 

But there will be no glory. 

When Thanos comes for them, when other threats come for them, there won't be any glory. Just desperation. Just hope that none that he loves and has come to love will be harmed or lost by the events. That is all. 

Oh, what a child he had been. 

Silvertongue, he and his friends had called Loki in derision, looking down upon Loki for choosing to use his words rather than his might to solve problems. Norns, he had not realised just how valuable such a gift is until now. 

What a fool he had been. 

Each word he speaks, each argument that he makes can bring Midgard and Asgard closer or break the fragile ties that he and Loki and the others try to create. And he is never sure that he knows the right words. The right tone. The right approach. 

Loki does. 

It is such a heavy burden. An impossible burden. A burden that he had not understood and pushed onto Loki's shoulders without ever appreciating it. Without ever being... grateful for it. 

A child. A foolish,  _ foolish _ child. 

That is all that he had been for a thousand years whilst Loki bore the burdens of being the true Prince. The one to speak and to be heard in earnest and to bring people together instead of breaking them apart as he had been doing with his hammer. 

And in doing so, he had deprived himself of the opportunity to learn. He had never learnt the skills that Loki has  _ had _ to hone for the both of them. And now, Thor regrets it all.  _ Desperately _ regrets it all. 

Regrets his failure to love and to appreciate his brother, for not being there for him for the centuries Loki had been there for him and needed him to be there for him. For never having taken the opportunities to learn the valuable skills that he desperately wishes for now. 

It is only in the past few months, since he had lost and regained Loki that Thor has truly  begun  to appreciate him. And it had taken the negotiations with the United Nations for Thor to truly see that Loki was indeed Frigga's son. In the way that Thor was Odin's. 

Where Thor breaks, Loki mends. 

It is his brilliant mind, his political knowledge and understanding that has even gotten them past the first day. It will be his tongue and his mind that will get them through what remains. 

He needs to learn. Be better, Thor cannot help but think as he sits on his own. The others are gathered upstairs in their communal apartment.

They are gathering their thoughts and themselves, resting their minds and their tongues so that they can prepare again for yet another day of difficult negotiations to come. 

There are congratulations offered, though there are no celebrations. Not yet. There won't be any until the negotiations have ended and it has ended well. 

It is not characteristic of Thor to leave them but he had needed the time to think. And in truth, to sulk. To be with himself and his own thoughts. And now that he has had them... he wishes for company, even as his thoughts circle, chasing their own tails in his mind. 

It's- He knows that it cannot be easy for humans, those that have been without any outside contact, to realise that there were alien life outside of their knowledge and their system and indeed at this point in time, beyond their ability to travel to. 

He is also aware that it cannot be easy for those said humans to accept him and Loki. That politically, their very existence causes problems. That the fact that they were working with Tony Stark, an American, causes further problems. 

Still. 

They don't have time for the squabbles. Even if he understands the reason for them and the fact that it is a complex problem, they do not have the luxury of time. 

What a farce, Thor thinks. 

A being like him and Loki, with their thousands of years left of their life spans and mere days passing by was enough for them to worry. Time was no longer an unrestricted luxury. 

Thor can almost feel each second, each minute as it passes by. 

Not just because of the threat looming. No. The other- No. Thor does not wish to think about that. Not now. Not when there are so many other concerns. Like Asgard. Like Odin.

It is not just the matter of Midgardian politics that concern Thor and Loki. After all, once the negotiations have been settled here, Asgard  _ must _ be convinced of the need to ally itself with a Realm it has always considered lesser. Beneath them. 

Odin and Asgard had always looked upon Midgard like a child. A babe, ignorant and incapable of anything. Fit only to be coddled and protected from afar but otherwise, to be used only for amusements by the child gods. Nothing more. 

And yet, now, Midgard has become the most important Realm of them all. A gateway that must be protected in order to protect the rest of the Nine Realms. A Realm that will bring the Nine Realms together once and for all in truth. 

It is up to them. 

Up to Loki and Thor to convince the parties. To convince Odin most of all and Thor isn't sure if he can. He doesn't have the right words, the right skills. But Loki does. Only- 

"A penny for your thoughts brother." Loki's voice breaks through the thoughts in Thor's mind. It is only then that Thor realises that he had been lost in his thoughts for far longer than he had expected. That the time for the meeting has drawn close. 

Thor shakes himself out of his thoughts to look over Loki. Despite the dire nature of thoughts within his mind, Thor cannot help but feel his heart lighten as he looks upon his brother's visage. 

There is tension there, of course. One of Loki's Souls is away from the Tower and Thor can see his brother's soul ache and long for that company desperately. Despite that, there is warmth and ease in Loki's eyes. A glint of mischief, a small lingering smile. 

It has been far, far too long since Thor has seen such an expression on his brother's face. The kind of expression that had been the norm once upon a time and had come to form a mask over his brother's visage. A mask he had failed to recognise. 

"Brother?" Loki calls again, this time more concerned than light and Thor shakes himself out of his thoughts completely to give him a smile. Brother, Loki calls him and unlike the hurtful scathing tone the word had been tainted with, it is now said with love and affection. 

Gratitude wells in his heart. 

"How fares your Soul?" Thor asks, though he does wonder what a penny is. He reminds himself to ask Darcy when he gets the chance. 

Loki has adapted to humanity and their knowledge far quicker and better than Thor has. His mind had always been quicker than Thor's. 

The little warmth and light of mischief that had been in Loki's eyes fade as his soul shakes. Ah, the wrong question then, Thor thinks. 

Thor  _ had _ wondered about Stephen's absence from the Tower. There had been no questions asked about his absence after Clea had declared that Stephen was occupied with his work as a doctor. But clearly there was more to his absence.

"He is... busy." Loki says, the concern and worry clear in his voice. Thor cannot help but sympathise.  Theirs’ is no ordinary Bond or Connection.  Theirs’ is a Triumvirate. A trio of Souls bound together and made all the more powerful for it. 

But a Triumvirate with a corner missing is weak and unstable. Thor can only wonder how terrible it feels for Loki and for Tony to be without their third. It explains the tension on their shoulders and in their eyes. 

Thor wishes that he could ask further questions. To see what service he can provide Loki to calm the trembling soul inside of him. But one look at Loki's eyes tells him that now isn't the time. No. Now is the time for a distraction. For Loki to think of something else. 

It only takes a gesture with his eyes locked on Loki's. Within seconds of seeing it, Loki nods and his sedir rises briefly and there is a flash of green and gold before the magic spreads and the shield comes over them. Thor  releases  a breath he  hadn't even known he'd been holding. 

Norns.

Every little thing that they say and do, have said and have done wasn't only being watched by the entirety of Midgard. The weight of those eyes and those judgements have been heavy, but the one that had been weighing far, far heavier than that had been those of Asgard. 

This negotiation, these days spent with the humans were all a test. A show. Put on for Odin and Asgard. To convince them of the need for alliances even before returning to the Golden Palace. 

Odin isn't disapproving of their endeavours. 

If he had, the negotiations would have come to a halt before they could have even  begun . Odin would have sent a message or a messenger. Such were not beyond his powers despite the loss of the Bifrost. He has not. 

But no assistance was being offered either. No official delegates, no blessings. Nothing. A test then. Odin and his Norns be damned tests, Thor thinks with anger that threatens to overwhelm him. 

The fate of the universe hangs in the balance and Odin continues to play his political games. To test Thor and Loki. To see whether Thor is ready for the Throne to allow Odin his chance to sleep. To see whether Loki has suffered enough to pay for his 'crimes' and can be returned to the fold of Asgardian Court. 

And return, they will have to. 

"Do you desire to return home?" Thor can't help but ask. It is not what they should be discussing in these precious little moments they have away from the prying eyes. But it is the question that he cannot help but ask. 

As difficult as things have been for Loki, Thor knows that his brother is free in a way that he has not been for centuries. There may still be distrust of him amongst the people, but his immediate surroundings at the Tower are... supportive and loving. 

In a way that Loki has never had. 

Since they have returned from Kyoto, there has been a modicum of peace in Loki's eyes that Thor isn't sure if he has seen since they have reached their majority. 

"I wish to see my child." Loki says and the sorrow and longing that is in his voice and his eyes as he speaks is heavy and Thor cannot understand all of it, but he understands enough. 

"But Midgard has become home, brother. Were it a choice, a decision, I will choose to remain here." Thor can hear the truth in his voice and it is a sentiment that he can agree with. 

"They do not live as long as we do." Thor says quietly. It's an issue that they have both been aware of that they haven't discussed with any seriousness. An elephant in the room, as Darcy would have said. 

Loki nods, his eyes distant and fear and sorrow already settling in them, just as it does when Thor too thinks of such matters. 

"They are our Souls. With the permission of Odin we can obtain the Apple of Idunn." Loki says, but Thor knows that his brother does not believe that. 

Odin will never  allow such a thing. He does not believe that humans are worthy of such a boon. He does not believe that they are fit to join the ranks of gods. In fact, it has been centuries upon centuries since such a boon had last been granted to any being. 

Thor nods as he looks out of the windows. 

"We cannot fail, Loki. We must bring the people of Midgard together and we  _ must _ convince Asgard to stand with them." Thor says. 

It's easier said than done.  The  vast differences in resources is- it is too stark. Asgard has science, technology and magic far advanced of what humans do. Other than the Tesseract containing the Space Stone, which Asgard needs to repair the Bifrost, there is  naught  that Midgard can offer that Asgard desires. 

But there is much that Midgard would desire from Asgard. 

The only saving grace that might allow for such a negotiation to be deemed a success in the eyes of Asgard is the fact the realm that sits at the end of the  Yggdrasil  and were it to fall, it can very well allow entrance into the  rest of the Nine Realms. 

But only if Asgard and the Nine Realms believe in the threat presented by Thanos. 

"It is time." Loki says quietly as Thor too can hear the others nearing. Thor takes a deep breath and does his best to relax as Loki hesitates for a moment. 

"Thank you." Loki says, his hand raised in the air and ready to dispel the shield that hides them from Odin's eyes. 

"I have done nothing deserving of your gratitude. Indeed, it is I that should be thanking you. Apologising to you." Thor says, confused by the sudden sentiment from Loki even as it  gives  him the opportunity to air his own gratitude. Loki bites his lips for a moment before he nods and drops the shield. 

Though Thor doesn't have the chance to question his brother about the reason for such words and as Loki also does not question his, the burden in his heart is lessened. 

The others walk into the conference room, clearly exhausted and yet keen to get back  to work. Thor keeps his gaze upon Loki for a moment longer and as he does, understanding passes between them. 

Loki nods and smiles gently to him before his attentions are taken away by Tony and Gina. Thor returns the gesture as his  attention is  drawn to Jane and the others. 

As he greets his Soul and as he begins to gather his own thoughts for the meeting ahead, Thor cannot help but feel the understanding dawn on him. As it does, Thor's eyes are drawn to Loki as he can't help but think that there is nothing for Loki to be grateful for. 

For a brother to accept his brother for who and what he is, is not a thing that requires gratitude. It is something that should be given without question. With love. 

He can only hope that Loki understands the reason for his gratitude and his apology as well. 

Thor has a feeling that he does. 

~~~ 

**Wednesday **

**22 June 2011 **

This isn't... possible. Right? 

It can't be. It's- the word 'impossible' has somewhat lost  its  meaning after the whole aliens pouring out of the goddamned skies thing, but still. This is impossible. Right? 

Gods. What the fuck is the world coming to? 

Steve Rogers had never been the clever one in the bunch, but he'd always had good enough common sense to get through life so far and he'd never taken the time to question the 'big picture' and all of that high and mighty business. 

But he's starting to think that perhaps he ought to have. Maybe if he'd daydreamed a little more, looked into and questioned Howard Stark more on his inventions, he might have been better prepared for waking up 70  years later. 

Reality has gone and turned upside down on him and Steve was not ready for it. At all. None of it. 

The Red Skull and the Tesseract had been impossible enough. But that was still science. Something that Howard Stark could understand and explain, even if Steve didn't get it. As long as it was something that someone understood, that was fine. 

It's the same with the aliens. They have poured out of the skies and Steve still wasn't sure how the portal worked and how any of it happened and how it was possible, but Tony Stark does and Fury does and the scientists at SHIELD does. 

So that's fine. 

But this? This? This no one could even try to explain to him. And this was making him wish that he'd never left the goddamned pub when Natasha had come to collect him. 

Oh, it had started benign enough. 

After all the fuss, he'd expected something big and important, but all he'd been asked to do was sit in a cosy SHIELD holding cell with an unconscious man. Nothing more and nothing less. 

The only odd thing had been that he'd been warned to press a button if  _ anything _ unusual happened to raise the alarm and that no one had any answers for him. 

Not about who the man was, why Steve had been called in to watch over the man, nothing. No answers. Just a firm and polite 'request' for him to sit and wait. 

So Steve had. 

Oh,  he'd  been annoyed, of course. He was bored and he didn't see why someone like him would be delegated such a benign task as  babysitting  an unconscious person but Steve had seen the hard look in Fury's eyes and had known better than  to  argue. 

And as it turned out, there had been a good reason for him to be there. Even if he couldn't have done a single thing to stop... this. 

No matter how many times he runs over the event in his head, he  couldn’t think of a single thing that he could have done to fix this. To do have done any better. 

Which is why it irks him more than it ought to, to be questioned over and over again. 

"Again." Fury demands. His eyes are hard, furious as his name sake and it is clear that he is frustrated as Steve is. There is a part of Steve, that little voice inside of him that always wanted to rebel and fight back against the bullies that whisper for him to snap back. 

He doesn't. 

"Sir, I entered the room 28 hours ago. I sat in that room with Agent Ronaldo Garcia for 25 hours with nothing happening. Then 3 hours ago, as you are aware, the... event occurred." Steve says, keeping his voice even  and  his eyes firmly on Fury's. 

He may not be willing to snap back against his commanding officer, but it didn't mean that he had to be meek and mild about it either. Fury nods firmly before he turns around. 

It is the middle of summer and yet, the man wears that ridiculous leather coat that snaps with his movements. Steve watches him for a moment before he can no longer hold his tongue and his curiosity. 

"Sir, why was it that I was brought in?" Steve asks and for a long moment, there is silence and Steve thinks that the Director may not answer him. But he does. 

"Agent Ronaldo Garcia has been with SHIELD for 11 years. His record is exemplary. But there had been... questions. Oddities about him." Fury says, his voice tight as his shoulders. 

"What kind of oddities?" Steve asks, too curious not to. No SHIELD agent that he'd met thus far had been the type of people that Steve would consider... normal. 

They all had quirks. Maria and her military obsession, Coulson with his adoration for everything 1920s, including that car of his, Natasha Romanov and her ledger, Fury and his damned leather. It was as if they found something to hold themselves together between the long hours of work. 

"Agent Garcia is lucky. Too lucky. None of his partners have ever been injured.  _ He _ has never been injured, even when he ought to have. He had a reputation for that. We'd thought that it was just that. It turns out we were wrong." Too lucky? What? 

There had always been lads like that in war. Lads that seemed to just survive the most harrowing of experiences with nary a scratch.  That  was nothing new. It was just the luck of the draw and some people just had that luck in spades. That's all. Right? 

Steve doesn't quite have the chance to question it as Fury slides a screen along the desk towards him. Gods. What was with the people in the 21st century and their screens, Steve wonders even as he fumbles to press the 'play' button. 

The moment that the images begin to move, Steve is frozen. Bile rises at the back of his throat and he can't breathe for a moment. 

Trauma, the SHIELD psychiatrist had told him. That he had trauma as a result of the incidents of the invasion. That it was normal. That other people had it too and that with time, the impact will fade. It hasn't yet. 

Seeing the inside of the Helicarrier, even through the slightly distorted images is... difficult. More than he had expected. 

The image isn't heavily distorted, but it is distorted enough that it is difficult to see exactly what is happening. It is during the attack. That much is obvious. there is a fire at the corner of the screen and the angle of the camera is a bit odd, tilted, if you will. 

The images move in stutters rather than in smooth frames that he is used to seeing from the security cameras. It makes what happens on the screen seem even more impossible and even more eerie than it should. 

Through the distorted images, an agent falls down, clearly shot or hurt off screen. They fall onto the ground and there is a minute or two that passes by. Then the impossible. 

The same impossible he'd witnessed just mere hours ago. 

A gold? Orange? Sparking light forms in the middle of the air. Just like the sparklers, the little  firecracker  sparklers he and Bucky used to light up as children, the sparks form in the sky and form a circle. 

And through the circle, the familiar figure steps through, as if it is as natural to step through such a thing as stepping through a door. It's- It's impossible. But it is happening regardless. 

"Sir, what- how-" Steve isn't even quite sure how to phrase the question. There is no need to anyway. From the grim look in Fury's eyes, he has no answers for Steve. 

"It's- He's not a mutant. I just got the test results back. No mutant genes. And from the reports, that agent on the ground? That's Agent Summers. She swears that she was shot during the fight. That the shot was fatal. She returned to duty three days ago." Fury's voice is dry and as confused as Steve feels. 

"So... Agent Garcia... healed them? Brought them back from the dead?" Steve asks, even as he watches the agent's hands glow upon the screen. It sounds ridiculous even to his own ears to say such words, but it is the only thing that he can think of. 

"Perhaps. We don't know. We don't know what kind of power that is. Garcia isn't a mutant and he isn't an Asgardian God. We need to know what the hell he is. And we need to know just who took him and why." Fury says with a grim look. 

A new force then, Steve things. Another thing that they can't explain and another power that they have to worry about. 

Well. Shit. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**23 June 2011 **

Focus. Goddamn it.  _ Focus _ . 

This is important. Everything that is being said and done in the General Assembly meeting is important. So  is  the meeting with the Security Council that will come next week. If Tony wasn't going to be paying attention to the monotone voice of the representative of Canada, he at the very least should pay attention to the damned screen. 

He can't. 

Instead of focusing on what was being asked of Loki and Thor and their responses to those questions, instead of reading over the agendas for the Security Council meeting, all Tony can think about is Stephen fucking Strange. 

He hasn't come home. 

Tony knows that Stephen is a big boy and he is the big bad Sorcerer Supreme and incredibly powerful, even by Loki's admissions, but Stephen was very much human and it  hadn't  been that long ago that Tony and Loki had almost lost him. 

That anxiety that seized his heart when he'd found out that Stephen had been taken, the anxiety that refused to settle down until just a few days ago now, is back in full force and it's- 

It wouldn't be that difficult. 

Tony has the override codes. He could easily get into Friday's systems and find out exactly where Stephen was. Hell, he didn't even need to go through Friday. He could use the GPS tracker from Stephen's phone and his watch to track the man down and with the Iron Man suit, he could be there, anywhere around the world within two hours. 

Hell, he could ask Loki. The god can feel Stephen. Know where he is. The god can fucking teleport. They can be there, in Stephen's presence in  _ minutes _ . 

It's so tempting. 

It would be so easy. Loki would do it too. Loki, with his need to still prove himself and his place within their 'Triumvirate', as the god called it, Loki that understood just how desperate and broken Tony was without Stephen, would just need a word. That's it. 

But Tony can't. He won't. It would be such a breach of trust and they'd worked too goddamned hard and been through too  goddamn  much for Tony to break that trust. For him to just do what he wants to do and needs to do. 

He can't. 

He might not have a choice soon.  _ They _ might not have a choice soon. Tony remembers Loki's words from the night before as they waited for Stephen to come home. As they have called him over and over, only to be told by Friday that Stephen was unavailable. 

Stephen was reaching the end of his limits. Loki can feel it, even with the 'shields' between them. Loki said that even with him being with Tony and with all the physical contact that they'd been having with their rather desperate acts of sex,  _ he _ was starting to feel his focus fray. 

That Stephen, with all the power within him and just a fraction of time that Loki has had to discipline and focus himself, would find it harder. That his focus would start to stray and he would start to fall apart. 

Goddamn him, Tony can't help but think. 

Tony still doesn't know enough about the Mystic Order and what they do to even guess at what Stephen is involved in. What dangers he was putting himself in. Why he hadn't- 

Oh wait. He knows why. Stephen didn't want to be a distraction. He wanted them to focus on the General Assembly. he probably meant it also to be an opportunity for the two of them to get to know each other. To bond a little. 

Just like Stephen had done with Loki. 

Something had changed between them since Kyoto and Tony hadn't pried, but he was grateful for that. Still. It doesn't change that tight feeling in his chest and the sheer size of the hole left inside of him through Stephen's absence. 

He needs to see Stephen. 

Loki isn't enough anymore. Each night, they'd comforted each other and then tried to shake the unease in their hearts through each other's bodies but it's not enough now. 

Even last night, even the sex hadn't been enough to settle them and instead, they had stayed up for most of the night talking. It'd been good, Tony will admit that. It was good to get to know the god. To learn Loki like he had learnt Stephen. 

But it would be better with Stephen.  _ They _ would be better with Stephen. 

Tony also can't help but wonder if it would be the same without Loki. Whether, now that they have  begun  to bond together, as a Triumvirate, whether Tony would long for Loki as he longs for Stephen now. 

Loki had said otherwise, that the Bond that he held with Stephen was far stronger than the one with Loki and as such, he would not feel the loss as keenly. But Tony wasn't sure. 

"As we have explained before, we simply do not have the authority to speak on behalf of the other Realms. We can only-" Tony hasn't been paying attention to Loki's words, but he had been paying just enough attention to Loki's voice at the very least, to hear the gasp. 

Tony's head snaps up and his eyes lock onto Loki's immediately. 

The god doesn't just turn to look at Tony. He turns fully around, turning his back to the Assembly to focus solely on Tony. As if he is the only one in the room. The anxiety that had been growing inside of Tony's stomach turns into full blown fear as their eyes lock on. 

"Prince Loki?" Javier's voice is curious as she tries to draw his attention, but Loki's eyes are firmly on Tony's. Loki doesn't even turn back to address her or anyone else. 

"I will need a moment. Thor, please." Loki's voice is far more pleading than Tony would like, but it seems that Thor understands because he smoothly takes over for Loki from where he'd left off as Loki makes his way over to Tony. 

Thor's voice is loud enough and his presence just charismatic enough that he pulls the attention of most of the Assembly. But not all. Tony can feel the curious eyes on them and he tries to keep his face neutral, to keep the alarm away from it, but he's not sure if he succeeds. 

"Anthony. We need to go. Now." Loki whispers to him as soon as he is close enough and Tony knows that it's a bad idea. They have the rest of the negotiations to deal with and they can't just abandon what they were doing, but even as he is thinking all of that, his heart is beating faster and faster and there is no force in the universe that could have made him say no. 

"What's happening?" Tony isn't the only one to ask the question as others ask it as well, but Loki's eyes are only on Tony and Tony's eyes are only on him. 

"Now." Is the only thing that Loki says as he moves towards Tony. There is no hesitation. Just a firm nod and hands being reached out to each other. Consequences be damned. They can worry about it all later. Thor can handle the negotiations for the day. Tony's presence wasn't strictly necessary. The Assembly can save their questions for him till later. 

Tony would like to think that he thought of all that before he took Loki's hand. In truth, he didn't. All he could think about was Stephen as Loki's magic activates and as the General Assembly room fades. 

Nothing else. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**23 June 2011 **

"I told you so." Grimshaw doesn't even bother holding back. 

"I know. I'm sorry." Stephen manages through gritted teeth and Grimshaw has to admit that they are rather impressed that Stephen can even do that, considering. 

Oh, it wasn't as if Stephen was in any true danger right this moment. If he had been, Grimshaw would have kept their tongue in check. But it  _ was _ incredibly frustrating to bear witness to such idiocy as what was happening right now. 

Stephen fucking Strange and his stupid fucking tendencies to put others before himself is exactly why they- well no. Why  _ Stephen _ was in this position in the first place.That and of course, his undying love for Tony Stark. 

By the Vishanti. 

It should all have been so simple. Okay, so nothing was ever simple with the Mystic Order and their workings, but relatively, it should have been... simple. 

The problem was the fact that Garcia had been taken in by SHIELD And the solution was a daring rescue. Considering the fact that SHIELD already had video files of magic being performed, it wasn't as if they needed to be shy about that aspect. 

They just needed to be able to get to Garcia. 

Which is where the problem had come in. SHIELD kept the fucking Tesseract in their basement. Heavily guarded of course and they all agreed it was better there than in Hydra's hands but still. There it was. 

And unlike Hydra, who knew at least  _ something _ about magic and how to hide  its  signatures, SHIELD didn't. It was like a fucking beacon and it blinded them when it came to the building. 

Hence the ridiculous three days spent working out a plan. 

All Stephen had to do was to go to the SHIELD Headquarters. Pinpoint the location of Ronaldo Garcia and then leave whilst they did their jobs. And of course, it all went so horribly wrong. 

How the hell were they supposed to know that the fucking Tesseract, or rather, the Space Stone contained within it would try to connect with the Time Stone? Or that it would fling open all the doors to the dimensions connected to Stephen, flooding him with far more magic than he can deal with? 

Or that Garcia had been so heavily drugged and the spells he'd woven around himself, so fucking complicated and dangerous that they'd need Stephen to deal with it? 

Okay. Alright. So it was... mostly not Stephen's fault. 

But this particular moment and this particular predicament? That was all on Stephen and his stubbornness. 

The moment that the power flooded him, he should have gone home. If that hadn't been possible, then he should have gone home once he'd helped to undo the spells that Garcia had woven to keep his silence, to protect the Order. 

But no. 

The General Assembly Meeting was on and Stephen hadn't wanted to interrupt and distract Tony or Loki. So instead, he chose to wait. To throw up the most powerful shields that he can around his chambers in the Kamar-Taj and bide his time, suffering all the while. 

"Shou-Shouldn't you be- at work?" Stephen bites out with some difficulty. Magic is burning through him and Grimshaw wishes that they can do something about it. But they can't. 

That amount of magic needs to be dispersed naturally and grounded. But Stephen isn't capable of that right now. Not on his own. Not without the Soulmates that ground his soul and his magic. 

Before, when Stephen had pulled on such a large amount of power, there had been spells set up to use that power and yes, it still strained him and yes, the siren call of magic in itself had always been dangerous, but not this time. 

It had come too suddenly and they just couldn't have foreseen any of this happening. 

"I am at work. Looking after my number one idiot patient." Grimshaw shoots back but even as they do, they can't help but worry. 

Stephen's body had gone through a great deal of trauma of late and whilst he had recovered rather well, his body was low on resources, one could say and the strain of holding so much power in wasn't helping. 

As it were, the whippets of power escaping through that tight control Stephen was desperately trying to hold onto was filling the room with beautiful lights and butterflies and for someone like Stephen to be leaking power like that? 

Not good. 

"You need to call them." Grimshaw tries. Not for the first time and not for the last time either, they suspect. Yes, the General Assembly Meeting is important. But so is Stephen and a few hours missed from it won't derail the whole negotiations. Surely. 

"No." Stephen says, predictably as he closes his eyes and curls further into himself, as if holding himself in that tight ball would somehow keep the magic from flying apart around him and through him and destroying everything in  its  vicinity. Or cover it with butterflies. One could never know how uncontrolled magic would react. 

Grimshaw watches Stephen for a moment longer before the decision forms. It's a decision the Council had left up to them. After all, they were the Chief Healer and it  was  their responsibility to look after the welfare of the Sorcerer Supreme. 

"Well, unfortunately, my answer is also 'no', Stephen." Grimshaw says and before Stephen can understand what it is that they mean and stop them, Grimshaw works the spells that had been sitting in their mind for the last few hours. 

It's not a difficult spell to work. 

Not when Stephen is so distracted and so unfocused and his grip on his own spell  is  so weak. 

Grimshaw has just a moment to see the realisation form in Stephen's eyes, the almost glowing grey blues going wide, before they shut tight. 

"It won't be long. If I were you, I would come up with one hell of an apology." Grimshaw's tone is gentle. Apologetic. But they won't apologise. Not for doing what they knew they had to do. 

And it really doesn't take long. In fact, it happens so quickly that Grimshaw doesn't even have the chance to leave the room. 

"Prince Loki, Mr Tony Stark, welcome to the Kamar-Taj." Grimshaw says as the two of them materialise next to Stephen's bed. They barely look at Grimshaw. Which isn't a surprise. 

Grimshaw has seen enough of Soulmates to know just how drawn they are to each other. Even after minutes of not seeing each other. It has been days for the three of them. 

They don't linger. 

Even after letting go, it isn't necessarily easy to watch as the two of them reach out with trembling hands towards Stephen. As he moans at the simple touches and leans into them. 

Grimshaw had been wrong, they think. Stephen might need to prepare an apology, but it won't be until later. Much, much later. 

"Thank you." Grimshaw does hear as they turn to leave the room. They don't let it stop them. They close the door firmly behind them and rests their back against it for a moment. 

But that moment is enough to hear Stephen's gruttal moan and the soft coaxing coos from the other two. Definitely not the right place to linger and think, Grimshaw thinks as they hurriedly place a hand over the door and form a sigil. 

There is no need for anyone else to know what was happening inside of the Sorcerer Supreme's chambers. 

Right? 

~~~ 


	32. Worlds Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So just what did happen after Tony and Loki abandoned the General Meeting in the middle the most important negotiations the world had ever seen? 
> 
> And just why the hell is Hawkeye sitting on the roof of their building? 
> 
> And whatever happened to our favourite journalist?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, a huge apology. 
> 
> There has been a bit of an issue with my health over the last couple of weeks with my pain levels increasing significantly and throwing me further into the rabbit hole of depression and pain. 
> 
> Which in turn has led to more doctor appointments and a realisation that depression can have significant effects on my pain levels and thus lead to further depression etc etc and... it's about time I get professional help. 
> 
> I will admit, as much as I write about Mental Health and advocate for trying to achieve healthy mental states, it has been an upheaval battle for myself personally. Going back to work, even part time has become a daily reminder of the life that I used to have and the work that I used to enjoy and it has been somewhat painful. 
> 
> On top of that, with my health being what it is, returning to work has meant becoming exposed to the various viruses and bugs that my body is apparently not quite able to deal with anymore. Being sickly on top of my existing pain issues has also not been easy. 
> 
> With my mind state being what it is, it has been near impossible for me to write and to try to keep up a regular update schedule. And the issues continue, so I'm not going to sit here and pretend that everything is alright and that there will be a regular update schedule. 
> 
> All I can promise is that when I can, I will write and with the support that I get from you guys and from Missanes (who is an amazing god-send that checks upon me regularly and makes sure that I am alive and know that there are people out there that care), I will post when I can. 
> 
> I am hoping for once a week. But if you don't hear from me once a week, please know that I am thinking of you, the story and that it is not being abandoned. It is merely a slower process than what I and what you are used to due to my personal problems. 
> 
> Thank you for your understanding, support and all the kind words through the comments and once again... I am so, so very sorry. 
> 
> <3 
> 
> Kira

**Thursday **

**23 June 2011 **

Shit.

What the  _ fuck _ was she supposed to do?

All of her adult life, Christine Everhart had known exactly what to do. Even before that, really. She'd  always known that she wanted to be a journalist from a young age and  _ nothing _ had stood in the way of her getting what she wants. 

She had always been that kind of woman. 

She had been proud of that. She  _ is _ proud of that. Of her ability to go for what she wants and to work hard to get it. But there was something else she'd always been proud of. 

Keeping her hands clean. 

Yes, it was the job of a journalist to do whatever was required to get the scoop. Whether that meant sneaking into some places she wasn't supposed to be, lying through her teeth or dealing with  the  types of people that society would deem unsavoury. 

But she had done it all with a clean conscience.

It may seem ridiculous to some, but Christine believed in the value of truth and the importance of passing that information to the public as much as she believed in having morals and she had always thought that her job could and should be done with that morality in mind. 

It hadn't always been easy. 

It would have been easier and she surely would have climbed through the ladders of the journalism world if she had less scruples. But Christine was proud to  have  gotten to where she was with her sense of self and morality intact. 

She'd always had the right instincts that told her what to do and how to get the information that she wanted and needed as much as she had the morals to guide her actions. 

This time, that instinct inside of her as well as the morality that had been guiding her was... frozen. In terror. 

Gods.

This isn't the first time that Christine has felt afraid. Doing what she does has led her down dark alleyways and through dangerous situations enough that fear has long ago turned into adrenaline and she'd lost the ability to really feel afraid as she had once upon a time. 

But this time? This time, she feels that fear. 

That gnawing, overwhelming fear that blinds her, turns her blood cold and makes her want to run as far as she can. 

Not that there is anywhere  _ to _ run to. 

How does one avoid or run away from an organisation like the World Security Council? They don't. It's that simple. As much as the naive part of her, a voice that had long ago been banished to the deepest corners of her mind hopes that they won't actually  _ do _ anything to her, she knows better. 

They can ruin her career. They can make it impossible for her to be who and what she is. They can take away her freedom, her voice and at the worst, they can take away her life. She is not stupid enough to be blind to that. 

What the World Council wanted from her was simple enough, despite the roundabout way that they had drawn out their proposition and the terrifying meeting. 

All the flattery of her being a leader in the journalism world with her reports in relation to Tony Stark and the Avengers was just a way for them to pave the way to tell her to push the reports in the direction that they desired. 

Turn the public against Tony Stark and his allies. Push him to the point where he would need greater powers,  _ their _ powers in order to achieve what he wanted and needed to achieve. 

And that? 

That ...  Christine wasn't sure if she could do  it . No matter what was at risk. Anyone with a good enough head on their shoulders can see that what Tony Stark was doing and what his allies were doing was necessary. 

More than necessary. Imperative. 

For their survival and for humanity to grow and to flourish. Whilst everything from the General Assembly Meeting, especially when it came to the threats wasn't made public, Christine knew enough to know that the Alliance between Earth and Asgard was desperately required. 

That humanity needed to prepare for the uncertain future that was waiting for them and that there was no one else that she would rather see leading that charge than Tony Stark. 

At the end of the day, despite her previous views on Tony, she'd long ago seen what a good man that he was. That he had the good sense and morals not to abuse the power and wealth that he had in his possession. 

That he was desperately trying to do what was right to preserve humanity and their future and Christine, for one, didn't want to see him fail. More than that, she didn't want to be the roadblock to his success. 

Even if she knew how. 

Gods. Even if it isn't what she wants to do, the plan is all too easily drawn in her head and she knows that she could easily turn a great deal of the public against Tony Stark and make it difficult, if not impossible, for him to achieve his goals. 

All it would require is for her to do her job. 

A report made in a way that twisted a few things, but it would still be truthful, if not  _ the _ truth. A weakness like Tony's can turn him into a darling in the eyes of the media and the public or into a villain. And Tony's weakness was all too... easy to twist. 

Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange. 

A medical genius, wealthy beyond imagination in the same way that Tony Stark was and a man that had been in the shadows as far as the public was concerned until recently. 

Their relationship has been speculated on in the gossip magazines, but it had always been denied by both of them. Not that it had mattered. Christine had seen it the moment that she had seen the two of them together. 

It was impossible not to notice the way that Tony's eyes lit up with sheer joy and softened when he looked upon the man. That was love, pure and simple and Christine had kept her silence because it was their right to keep their private lives private. 

But if it was made public? If it was made public in a way that painted Tony as a liar for denying the relationship and twisting their love into something more sinister with Tony as the aggressor seducing Stephen into a homosexual relationship? 

That could damage Tony's reputation. It can bring doubt and colour every other action that he takes. But that's not all. Christine knows all too well that the 'facts' of Obadiah Stane's death isn't quite what it was publicised to be. 

That , along with Stephen would be more than enough. Christine knows that. She also knows that if she did what the World Security Council asked of her, there would be benefits. 

Is that worth her soul? 

Christine can't help the empty laughter that escapes her lips. No. It's not. And she'd known her answer the moment she had walked out of that meeting. 

She can't. She won't. Even if it means that she has to look for another job. Even if it means that she has to let go of everything she'd spent so long working towards. 

Her future and her career wasn't worth the future of humanity. It wasn't in her wheelhouse to sacrifice herself, but if that was required, Christine knew what her answer should be. What it  _ would _ be. 

But that wasn't enough. 

Just saying no wouldn't be enough to stop someone else from doing what the World Security Council would and could ask of someone else. 

It is that knowledge that has her sitting down before her computer. 

She's being watched. It's not just paranoia that was talking. She had noticed the tell-tale signs. The black cars, the men in black suits with their earpieces. They weren't even hiding the fact that she was being watched, which told her that chances were, she was being monitored even closer than what appeared. 

It's a good thing that she'd been through such experiences before, Christine thinks as she moves her mouse towards a button she hasn't used for a long, long time. 

She can only hope that Tony wasn't too busy to pick up the signal that she was about to send him. That she wasn't taking this risk and this chance for nothing at all. 

God help them all. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**23 June 2011 **

It's too much. 

Or not enough. He's not sure. 

Stephen remembers the unbearable heat. The magic burning  its  way through him and the vain attempts to desperately to hold all of it in, trying to keep himself together and to keep his focus whilst it all frayed at the edges and fell apart at his fingertips. 

He remembers the siren call. 

The magic streaming through his blood demanding, cooing, calling, singing. Tempting him to do something with it. His imagination running wild with all the things that he  _ could _ do with the power at his fingertips. 

But he hadn't given in. 

He won't give in. He never will. But the fight had been becoming harder and harder. He remembers Grimshaw too. Their calming voice in Stephen's ears. He had held onto that voice and focused on it, trying to keep himself together and distracted by it. 

Then there had been that sharp pain. 

Of his spell, the shield he'd desperately thrown up to keep himself and his wild magic hidden, being ripped apart. No, that's not right. Surgically cut through. Grimshaw had done that. Stephen remembers that. 

Then- 

Warm hands and cold lips. That had come next. 

And with it, everything that Stephen needed and more. Warm hands touched him and grounded him and held him whilst cold lips kissed away the burn and the magic until he could almost think again. 

_ Almost _ . 

By the time enough of the magic had been cleared out and the flimsy grip he'd had over his magic had been returned to full force, he had been burning in a different way. 

In the way that he still burns with now. Moans fall from his lips unbidden as steady, firm hands seem to touch him everywhere all at once and pulls him apart at the seams. 

"Shh, tell us what you want Stephen and we'll give it to you." Tony's voice is a purr, a temptation, a siren call that Stephen  _ can _ and will always give into. 

"Yes, beloved.  _ Do _ tell us what it is that you need of us." Loki adds and his voice is even more of a purr, freer than Stephen had ever heard from him before.

Even in the drunken haze of magic and the pleasure of their presence and touches, it is so surprising that Stephen feels his head clear. If only for a moment. 

As he opens his eyes and focuses them, he can see Loki's emerald ones looking back at him, heavily dilated and almost glowing with the magic that has passed between them. The god licks his lips as if he is savouring the taste of Stephen's lips or his magic and oh by the Vishanti, a pulse of sheer arousal goes through him like a knife at that. 

He has  _ never _ seen Loki like this. He doubts that anyone has for  _ centuries _ . 

Loki, drunk on the magic between them, the security of the blossoming Connection and Bond between them, was freer with himself and with his touches than he had ever been. It is as if the guard that he'd been keeping up, the measured way he used to touch Stephen and Tony is down. Gone. 

In  its  place, there was boundless mischief the god was known for, desire and arousal that makes Stephen want  _ everything _ and more from the god. 

In the back of his mind, that lingering anxiety and fear try to raise  their heads . An unbridled Loki can be a dangerous Loki. But Stephen is too lost in the magic and the pleasure to even feel that primal anxiety and fear. 

As if aware of just what his glance has done, Loki cups Stephen's face with his cool hands and Stephen can't help but shiver with the pleasure that his touch brings. The contrast between the heat that burns inside of him and behind him with Loki's cool skin is- 

Loki's kiss is like a breath of fresh air. 

Tony's kiss had always tasted of coffee and warmth. It warmed him from the inside out whenever Tony kissed him. Loki's kiss is different. Through the kiss, magic passes back and forth between them and it's refreshing in a different kind of way. 

Loki kisses differently  than Tony too. 

Where Tony's kisses are soft or hungry depending on the mood, skilled and his tongue perfectly twisting and dancing with Stephen's, used to their motions by now, Loki's kiss is more... caressing. 

His tongue caresses Stephen's softly and gently even as his teeth nibble gently at Stephen's lips. Between those kisses, the heady magic filling both of their lungs and the room, Tony's hands and lips exploring his  body , it is- It is too much. 

"Come on baby, what do you need?" Tony asks again as his lips trace the veins of Stephen's neck and Stephen can barely breathe as moans and pants escape from his lips into Loki's. 

"Oh yes, Stephen, please tell us." Loki purrs and it takes all of his effort and the little concentration that Stephen has to moan out the only thing he can think of. 

"Everything." Stephen manages, He hears and feels the soft chuckles from both of them. Through his back, he can feel Tony's chest rumble with it and Loki's kiss is coloured with it as he continues to taste Stephen's lips and the magic flowing from him. 

"Greedy, isn't he?" Tony asks, not of Stephen, thankfully. He's not sure if he could have answered. Loki does, his voice filled with mirth and joy. If Stephen had been more aware, if he was able to think a little clearer, he would have been amazed by that voice. 

But with Loki in front of him kissing him with a hand on his cock and Tony behind him with his fingers circling his rim, all Stephen can do is desperately hold onto Loki's shoulders and moan. 

"Well, it is so fortunate that he desires exactly what we desire, isn't it, Anthony?" Loki asks and Stephen has to admit that he starts to lose track. 

They continue to banter even as they reach past him to kiss. Their voices become purrs that adds to his pleasure as they brush past his ears. Stephen isn't even sure when they stripped him of his clothes. He's not even sure if magic was  involved  or not. 

All that matters is that Tony cradles him from behind, a warm presence that keeps all the fears that Stephen might have at bay and Loki stays in front of him, his fingertips and lips exploring every inch of Stephen's body. 

Stephen should do more. Participate. He needs to give them the pleasure that they are giving him. But he can't. All he can do is entrust his body to them as they move him about. 

Tony turns his head to kiss him, hungry and sloppy as his hard cock rubs against Stephen's buttocks and catches on the  rim  every now and then. Stephen should be worrying about whether or not his weight was putting too much pressure onto Tony's chest, but the genius is reclined on the bed and the hum of the reactor felt too good against Stephen's back. 

The intrusion into his body isn't foreign. But it feels new and odd. Loki's fingers are cold and wet as they enter him and the temperature difference is a shock to the system. Stephen arches his back and pants as those fingers explore him. 

The magic is so heady in the air that Stephen feels almost... high. Drunk on all of it. It adds a surreal sort of sensation to it all and it is so much easier to let go and just give in to all the pleasure and the grounding force the two of them provide. 

Loki's fingers are thin and long and cold. Since he'd touched the Casket of Ancient Winters, Loki's temperature had gone back to what a Jotun's should be. Loki does not relish it, but Stephen does. 

Especially when Tony's thick fingers join Loki's. 

The stretch is almost too much, but it is too much in that delicious way that makes that haze form in Stephen's mind. By the Vishanti he had missed them. Missed this. Missed the pleasure and just being able to let go. 

To give up the control and the command and the responsibilities for even just an hour or so. It feels so good to be able to trust his body to them and let them draw out their pleasures and through it, his own. 

Together, Loki and Tony open him up and by the time that they deem him ready, Stephen is already lost. Half formed pleas spill from his lips as their fingers withdraw and both of the shush him and purr at him words that he can't quite comprehend. 

But it doesn't take long. Loki and Tony move him so that he is laying on his back and before Stephen can even settle into the pillows, Tony's thick, hard cock is at his entrance. 

Tony is always careful. He is careful now too, but he knows all too well that Stephen is better than well prepared and he takes advantage of that. 

A strangled cry escapes Stephen's lips as Tony holds nothing back, impaling him in one smooth stroke. Stephen throws his head back as his breath is taken away and before he can even try to catch his breath, Tony is moving. 

No. That's not quite right. 

Stephen's eyes flutter open as he sees it. 

The sight of Loki, behind Tony, his height allowing for his visage to be so clearly visible to Stephen as he cradles Tony into his arms as his powerful hips and hands moves them. 

For a second, just a split second, Stephen forgets his own pleasure and even about the cock inside of him. All he can see is the startling, beautiful picture that is before him. 

Stephen looks up at the two of them. Tony's head turned to kiss Loki, their kiss hot and heavy as Loki's pale hand  cradles  Tony's tanned chest. With the other hand, Loki moves both his own hips and Tony's hips. 

Gods they are beautiful, Stephen thinks as he drinks the sight in. 

The god's strength is far greater than their own, Stephen had always known that, but it's another thing to see the control that he has, despite the pleasure that is clearly overtaking him. 

Stephen wants to keep his eyes open. he wants to watch as Loki and Tony continues to kiss. He wants to remember the way that Tony's body arches back and forth as the god moves him and the pleasure builds. 

But he can't. 

Not when Tony's fingers wrap around his cock and starts to move it in time with the heady movements of their hips. 

Each stroke is firm and hard and Stephen can barely remember to breathe as his eyes flutter shut and he loses himself completely to the pleasure. 

The sound of flesh hitting flesh is all the louder for there being three of them. The moans and pants, the grunts and cries fill the air as much as the magic and when Loki shifts them, Tony's cock starts to not just hit that spot inside of him, but his cock drags past it with each thrust and it's- 

If anything had been holding Stephen back from crying out and from losing himself, that takes away the last of his control. 

Magic bursts from him as does the cries as he throws his head back. He doesn't even notice Tony's lips locking onto his neck as he too loses himself. Or that Loki's magic joins his as they fill the air. 

When the orgasm comes, it is with relief. Stephen is pretty sure that their cries could be heard throughout the Kamar-Taj but he couldn't care less. Not now. 

Stephen struggles to catch his breath even as the pleasure and arousal continues to burn through his body. He needs more. He wants more. 

He might have felt shame at being so wonton, even just a few years ago, but he can't. Not now. Not when he knows that they want it too. That the passion that they'd just shared isn't enough to take away the time that they'd been away from each other. 

Their Bonds burn between them, rejoicing at the fact that they are together, that they are enjoying each other's bodies. Stephen can feel it settling inside all three of them as he breathes and tries to get a hold over himself and the magic filling the air. 

"Ah, I wondered when I would see these again." Tony mutters with some wonder in his voice, breaking the silence filled with just their harsh  breaths . Stephen forces his eyes open and  focuses  them onto Tony's wonder filled eyes. 

The warm caramel brown eyes look about the room and as he does, Stephen cannot help but share that wonder. 

Bright blue Monarch butterflies flutter throughout the room as if it was some sort of flower field, a sign of Stephen's out of control magic, but that isn't all. 

Mixed in with the butterflies were white leaves and golden light globes. Signatures that were definitely not his. Stephen tears his eyes away from Tony and the way that his eyes and face is lit by the magic to look into Loki's glowing emerald green eyes. 

"My Sedir has missed you, beloved." Loki says, as if it is an excuse for the clear loss of control. Stephen doesn't mind. Instead, all he can do is smile and chuckle as he sees through the god's vain attempts to excuse himself. 

As if offended by the soft chuckle that Stephen lets out, Loki pouts and in that moment, Stephen feels his heart fill with warmth and confidence. 

Yes, he thinks. 

He  _ can _ and he  _ will _ love Loki. 

~~~ 

**Thursday **

**23 June 2011 **

Awkward. 

Uncomfortable. But mostly awkward. That is the only way that Darcy can really describe the atmosphere in the room. Oh and tense. Don't forget tense.  Tension  that was thick enough to cut with a butter knife. 

There were other emotions there too, of course. Confusion, a little bit of anger and some annoyance and of course, as usual, exhaustion. 

But then that had become the norm since the negotiations started. Everyone had been tense, stressed and relieved, though not completely, whenever the day had finished. 

Before the negotiations, they used to gather during the evenings to just chat and relax. To enjoy a good meal that Bruce put before them. But now… now those evenings have turned into more time for meetings and work and even considering that, this was a whole new level of tension. 

Darcy hadn't accompanied Jane, Bruce, Thor, Tony and Loki to the General Assembly Meeting. Pepper was at the Tower working and Clea stayed obviously to work with her and Gina had needed someone at the Tower to work both with Pepper and also to do any last minute research etc or get Pepper's views as quickly as possible. 

Errand girl isn't exactly what Darcy thought she'd become, but hell, if she had to play the errand girl, she didn't mind. Whatever she could do to help this whole situation, she was willing to do. 

Besides. As a political science major, who actually studied it because she was too goddamned interested in the movements of society and the world, yeah. She was getting a front row seat on the biggest show of political and societal movement in history. No complaints. 

Which is also precisely why she'd known the problem even before the others had come home. About the whole Tony Stark and Loki disappearing in the middle of the meeting thing. 

Hence the awkward. 

There were no jobs, emergencies, nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. No possible reason that they can think of, that  _ anyone _ can think of for Tony and Loki to leave the meeting like that.

Even JARVIS didn't know what was going on and neither did FRIDAY. If the AIs knew something that they didn't they weren't telling. Not even to Pepper. 

All they would say was that both Tony and Loki were fine and that no Iron Man suits have been taken out. Which is... fine. It's good. But honestly? A bit of criminal activity being stopped by Iron Man would have been so much easier to deal with than the mysterious, unexplained disappearances. 

No word from them either. No phone calls. No text messages, nothing. Radio silence. Which was worrying. The only person or being or whatever you call a god that wasn't worried was Thor. Except he too held his tongue and Darcy is pretty sure that her curiosity was going to burst a vessel if she didn't get answers soon. 

Besides. It wasn't only her that wanted answers. Or the group. It was the whole  goddamn  world and they were going to have to come up with something. Something good. Compelling enough to excuse  such behaviour . 

Having said all that, they weren't worried. Not really. Not in relation to their safety at the very least. There had been enough reassurances that the two of them were fine. That there was no danger. But that... left other questions. 

Questions that Darcy wasn't quite sure if she should voice. And given Darcy's tenuous relationship with that filter between her brain and mouth? That was saying something. 

Darcy can't help but give glances here and there to Clea as she tries  _ not _ to think about the fact that Tony Stark was a well known playboy. 

That Stephen Strange hasn't been home for a few days. That since Stephen hasn't been home, each night, Loki and Tony had been conspicuously absent from their gatherings. And that there had been... marks. 

It's not hard to put two and two together to get four and Darcy was pretty sure that she wasn't the only one that would have come to the conclusion. If Jane's worried look was any indication, she had hit it too, as had Bruce. 

"Where are they and if they are safe and nothing is wrong, why aren't they coming home?" Jane eventually asks, biting her lips as she is tended to do when she was feeling truly worried. 

Darcy doesn't miss the way that Thor's eyes waver and his lips open for a second as if he wants to tell Jane what he knows to assuage her concerns, but  thinks  better of it. Darcy feels her eyes narrow and she is about to say something when the door opens. 

It's only a soft sound, but then the tension in the room had been thick enough that a needle dropping could have shattered it. It's no exaggeration to say that all eyes turn towards the door and to the figures entering the apartment. 

"Crossing the threshold are we?" Tony's voice is filled with amusement and Darcy can't help but raise an eyebrow as she looks upon the scene. 

Tony, holding the door open, a big wide smile on his face and the tense lines that had been  straining  his face finally relaxed with Loki, smiling like a lunatic carrying Stephen Strange in his arms as if he was a blushing bride. 

And blushing Stephen definitely was, Darcy notes with shocked bemusement. 

Loki carried Stephen as if he weighed nothing at all and Darcy supposed that to an Asgardian god, even one as slender as Loki, he probably  did . 

But that's not what has Darcy's jaw dropping as she looks over the picture that the three of them were making. There were smiles and a certain relaxed joy about them that Darcy wasn't quite sure if she'd ever seen on any of them before. Especially not on Loki. 

"Oh for the love of- Put me down Loki!" Stephen protests, but even as he does, there is a light something in his indignant tone that suggested that there was something going on between them that they simply were not privy to. 

"When you stop swaying on your feet, I shall. Or perhaps upon a bed." Loki's voice a seductive purr that sends Tony chuckling and Darcy can't help but raise an eyebrow as the three of them banter at the entryway for a moment longer before they seem to notice the eyes upon them. 

But by the Gods, they were good, Darcy thinks. She can  see  the short second of tension that hits all of them for just a moment before they relax again in that conscious manner. Loki doesn't put Stephen down and the smiles don't quite fade, but some of the joy does. 

As if reality and the work before them was crushing down onto their shoulders and dampening what joy they had. Darcy almost feels pity in that moment. Whilst there had always been moments of laughter and all that in the past couple of months, it had mostly been... tense. 

Especially with Tony. 

There had always been something heavy upon his shoulders and on Loki's that had seemed to weigh them down even more than the things that were happening then and there. 

Darcy has to admit that it had been a good look to see Tony so loose and happy but she can't help but ask the question in her head and unfortunately, it doesn't quite just remain in her head. 

"What the fuck is going on?" And just like that, three pairs of eyes turn to her and to the others and the smiles disappear completely. But unlike what she had expected, Loki doesn't put Stephen down as if he was a hot potato. 

Instead, the God of Lies carries the doctor to the nearby sofa and puts him down gently and carefully as if he was a babe in  his  arms. 

"This isn't a bed." Stephen comments, his voice soft and playful, albeit forced. It's not for their benefit, Darcy notes and she watches as the self-doubt that had begun to form in Loki's eyes disappear as his eyes light up with a smile that is intimate and filled with pure joy. 

"I promise to carry you to bed eventually beloved." Loki says and before he straightens, he takes Stephen's scarred hand and kisses the back of it lovingly, a gesture of gratitude and affection before he stands up and moves to stand, facing them. 

Darcy doesn't miss the way that Tony has moved either and the two of them stand, though casually, in front of Stephen as if to protect him from their curious eyes. The gesture isn't lost on any of them. 

"I suppose Darcy's question is one that is on all your minds?" Tony asks, his tone slightly guarded even as he stands casually in front of Stephen. Darcy sees and hears the exasperated sigh from Stephen before she focuses back on Tony. 

"It is about time we come clean, Anthony. They have more than earned our trust, haven't they?" Stephen's voice is soft and oddly commanding. A tone that Darcy wasn't sure if she'd ever heard from the doctor before. 

The confusion that had kept them all captive for hours upon hours now dig their claws in and Darcy can't help but frown as she repeats the question. 

" _ What _ the  _ fuck _ is going on?" She asks and this time, as the trio turn to look at each other and share knowing glances, Darcy waits. She has a feeling she's about to get some bloody fucking answers. 

Finally. 

~~~ 

**Friday **

**24 June 2011**

The tension is high. 

The negotiations had somehow continued on without Loki or Tony the day before but it had been tense. It was incredibly rude and dismissive, as many of the delegates considered it, for Thor to continue on as if nothing had occurred. 

And considering the fact that they were an hour into the day and there weren't any explanations still meant that the tensions were high and frustration and anger starting to colour the tones of the delegates. 

If this negotiation wasn't so bloody important to the survival of the human race and its future, there would have been empty seats all around. 

Madam Secretary General Javier can't help but raise an eyebrow as she watches proceedings take place. It's- Tony Stark can't be that stupid to leave his sudden exit with Loki, by teleportation no less, unexplained. Right? 

And yet, it seemed that they were. 

Thor stepped up to the mic to continue the negotiations as if nothing had happened and Loki and Tony remained behind him with the rest of the team, talking in quiet voices. 

Even with her abilities, Javier finds that she can't get a read on Tony or on Loki or indeed on any of their team and she suspects that, as ridiculous as it sounds even to her own ears,  _ magic _ is involved in blocking her. 

It has quickly and quietly turned the whole affair thus far into a game of chicken. Which country was ballsy enough to interrupt the proceedings to ask the question. The high tension and the way that certain delegates were eyeing each other was more than distracting. 

Before she could debate the question further in her mind, the representative for the United States speaks up. 

"Pardon me, your Highness. But I believe that an explanation is owed to the General Assembly in relation to the incident the day before." Javier has to admit that she is not surprised that he is the one to speak up. 

The relationship between the United States and Tony Stark had been tense in the last couple of years. The reports that she had received had made that clear enough. 

The United States couldn't afford to lose Tony Stark and that- well, that was a problem. No country should need the business of one particular man and his genius in order to function. But the United States does. 

Tony Stark and Stark Industries have their fingers in many,  _ many _ pies across the world and it was no exaggeration to say that if Stark Industries were to pull their business out of the US and  move  it elsewhere, the blow to the economy would be... stupendous. 

But that wasn't all. 

If Tony Stark decided to pull his support of the US Government and her military, sought out citizenship elsewhere and began to work with another country, economists and technologists have speculated that whatever country Tony Stark chose to work with would turn into a super power within five years at the longest. 

Luckily for the United States, Tony had always been patriotic. He had helped to defend her and her people and he had worked almost exclusively in the United States and he kept his holdings and intellectual properties within the US jurisdiction. 

But over the last couple of years, with the involvement of SHIELD and the World Security Council and the United States Military and the Senate, the relationship has become... messy, one might say. One might also call it contentious. 

"Owed?" Thor's tone is mild, but the offence is obvious as the God of Thunder raises an eyebrow towards the  United  States delegation. Javier isn't surprised to hear the sudden rise in Thomas Winfield's heart rate as he receives the god's full attention. 

"I- Perhaps the word was a bit strong, but I do believe that an explanation should be provided to us in relation to the sudden exit of both Prince Loki and Tony Stark from the meeting yesterday." It's not only Javier that raises an eyebrow at that. 

Thomas Winfield isn't usually so direct nor tactless. External pressures then, Javier thinks as she waits to hear the response. Whilst she could hardly call any part of the negotiations thus far, boring, this was certainly turning into a different kind of show. 

"Oh I see. Is it the custom of this Realm to delve into the private business of negotiators in the midst of negotiating an alliance between the Realms?" Thor's voice holds an edge as he raises an eyebrow and turns to look at Tony and the rest of their team as if he is seeking clarification. 

The amusement is clear in Tony and Loki's eyes as they both shrug almost in unison. The only  ones  that  show  any visible tension  were  Dr Jane Foster and Dr Bruce Banner, but that was hardly a surprise. Neither were used to having so many eyes upon them and they have been tense through the entire proceedings. 

"Come now brother, there is no need to judge them so harshly. They are a young race and clearly unaccustomed to such negotiations. Perhaps assuaging their curiosity could lead to being able to focus on the more pertinent matters." Loki's musing voice is soft, as if he was having a private discussion, but in the silence of the chambers, it is easy enough to hear it. 

"If you deem it necessary, brother. Then perhaps we should." Thor says with a sigh that is just shy of being dramatic as Loki stands up with a flourish and steps up to the podium. 

Though the chastisement is clear, as is the insult, they are both mild and delivered in a way that Javier knows would make it difficult for such a question to be asked again. As Javier notes that, she sees the look that Tony gives her and she takes the opportunity for what it is. 

A chance at 'redemption' for humanity in the eyes of the Asgardians and also a means to continue the negotiations. 

"That will not be necessary, your Highness. It  is human nature to be curious and I am afraid that we have allowed it to get the better of us. You have our sincerest apologies and assurances that no such interruptions will occur again." Javier says with the quiet authority she'd gained over the years. 

There will still be questions asked, but it will be asked behind doors and if the look that Tony gives her is any indication, as is the quick way that Gina Park steps out of the room, whatever it is that happened the day before will be explained. 

In a more appropriate setting, Javier thinks as Thor nods his head graciously and focuses back onto the topic at hand. Javier also doesn't miss the wink that Tony gives towards Thomas and she knows that there will be consequences. 

Consequences that are outside of her purview. Gods, she thinks, the negotiations were just beginning. They haven't even gotten through laying out each other's cards yet and already, there were dramas. 

She can only pray to God, though she knows it may be in vain, that the rest of the proceedings are without such...  drama . But then, politics and drama went hand in hand a little too well, didn't  they ? 

Especially when the God of Mischief was involved. 

~~~ 

**Friday**

**24 June 2011 **

"I wouldn't dare to presume to question the boss-" Clea can't keep the questioning tone out of her voice despite her words and even if she could, her eyebrows definitely had a mind of their own. 

"But?" Clea can't quite turn away from the situation to look at her uncle to see just what expression he has on his face, but she really doesn't need to in order to guess at it. 

It was probably as incredulous as her own and she could bet that his eyebrows were acting up as much as her's were, though there was a bit more of a... pretence to his look than her own, she supposes. 

"But... given this current situation, as your cousin and part time employee, I am going to have to ask." Clea says as she pauses, waiting for Stephen to turn to look at her before she continues. 

And when their eyes meet, for a moment, Clea forgets the situation. Stephen's eyes, more grey than blue meet  hers  and like every other time, Clea feels the magic inside of her swell for a moment before settling. 

Like all wielders of magic, there is a part of her that wants to bow down to him, to look away from his eyes and show him the respect due to his position, due to the power contained within him. 

And if there had been just the commanding, calculating gaze of the Sorcerer Supreme there, she might have. But like always, there is warmth, love and affection for her that keeps her looking at him and holding her  own  as she taps her foot in that exasperated, dramatic manner. 

"What did you do?" Clea asks him as his eyes fill with that odd mixture of guilt and amusement that she can't help but adore on him. It is rare, but whenever she sees that in his eyes, she remembers that he is human, that he is, just like her, someone that wants to find the laughs and the joys in life, despite having been so long without it. 

"Nothing much." Stephen tells her, looking more like a naughty boy caught with a hand in the cookie jar than the Sorcerer Supreme. Clea keeps her eyebrows raised and her feet tapping as she waits for him to admit it. 

The thing is, she had been kept up to date about what had been occurring with Stephen. She was his guard. It was her right to know and her duty to know. Even if she hadn't attempted to keep herself apprised of the situation, the others kept her updated anyway. 

So, she had known about the whole debacle and she can't help but feel that the reason that Stephen had left her behind, requesting that she 'protect' Tony in his absence, had been because he'd known that she would feel guilty about the whole thing. 

She had been the one that had been in charge. She is the one that had directed the sorcerers throughout the Helicarrier to portal in and to heal. She's the one that should have checked the cameras and made sure that their actions wouldn't be captured, as much as it was possible at any rate. 

But it had been... near impossible in the heat of the moment. No one blamed her, she knew that. But it didn't mean that she didn't feel  guilty . Still, she can't help but feel somewhat grateful to Stephen regardless. 

"Ah huh. So... you didn't do anything  _ much _ at SHIELD and yet, they somehow saw it necessary to send Hawkeye to sit on top of the roof of our building" Clea asks as she pointedly looks up at the archer. 

"I may have threatened them a bit." Stephen admits as he raises an eyebrow in the direction of the man, who has the  gall  not to only smile but wave at them as if it was the most normal thing for a man to be sitting on the ledge of a roof on a three storey building in the middle of Greenwich in the middle of fucking New York City. 

Clea had known that her life was going to be anything but...  _ normal _ the moment she joined the Mystic Order ,  but this? This was both unexpected and... well, expected, she supposes. 

"A bit?" Clea asks as she continues to look up at the smiling, happily waving Agent Clint Barton of SHIELD, trying not to give into that urge to wave back. 

"Perhaps it was more than a bit. But nothing that wasn't provoked." Stephen's voice is harder than she would like and it sets that instinct of  hers  into full alert. She finds her eyes narrowing as she looks at Stephen and it takes all of her control not to take action. To do  _ something. _

"And are we going to be doing something about him?" Clea manages to ask just as Stephen turns around, clearly dismissing the archer. 

"No." Stephen's words have that commanding tone that she is all too familiar with and as much as she wants to ask what Stephen's plans are, she knows better than to question it. She simply nods and sighs dramatically before she follows him. 

"Fine. But if the others find out and get upset, you get to deal with it." She tells him, though even she's not quite sure just who she is referring to. Tony and Loki and their friends or to Wong, Yinn and the Order. 

She doubts that it matters. Thor adored Stephen as it  were ,  though  Loki and Pepper had long  ago come to love Stephen , and  now  even Jane, Darcy and Bruce, albeit not close, considered Stephen to be a part of their odd little family. 

Even with all the secrets held between them. 

"On that note, why didn't you tell them?" Clea finds herself asking as they enter the building. Neither of them are naive enough to believe that there won't be a number of bugs placed throughout the location and they need to be careful, but it was hardly the first time that such a discussion would be taking place between them. 

"It's not... time yet." Stephen says, his voice distant and she doesn't need to hear any more than that. She nods, though there is that taste of bitter disappointment. It's- It's not as if she hadn't known what she was signing up for when she joined the Order. 

But keeping secrets from their family, who knew no better in relation to the supernatural other than what they saw on the news was different from keeping it from those that were in the thick of it. Especially considering the fact that Bruce, Darcy and Jane were the only ones not in the know. It... It didn't feel good. 

"I know Clea. I... I know it's difficult. But just for a little while longer. I promise." Stephen tells her softly and as he speaks, she can feel his magic flaring and knows that Clint, for all of his abilities, would not hear what he had whispered to her. 

Clea knows better than to question it. Stephen isn't the type to enjoy deception anymore than she does and she  knows  that there had to be a reason for it. A good one. She'd known that the timing to reveal magic to Tony had been a difficult one and she can only imagine that it was the same for the others, if Stephen was unwilling to reveal it. 

"As you wish." Clea says, nodding discretely to him as they make their way towards their go to deli. Time will come soon enough, Clea thinks. And when it does, she can only hope that they will forgive them. 

Gods, she hopes they  _ can. _

~~~


End file.
